[manasi]

Welcome back... Don't make us wait for long time... I hope you won't disappoint us...

Believe me.

I hate keeping people waiting for reading my idiotic literature. To the extent possible, I try to inform in advance. Sorry for the delay. I was out of forum due to some personal engagement.

As I have already pointed out, I have completed the last chapter(35) and made sketches of the remaining chapters. I need some time to convert my sketches into a presentable format. Don't worry. If you have patience to read,  curtain will be drawn by year end, I promise. In between, for any delay in posting updates, please forgive me.

Here follows the chapter 31. It will be in two parts and last one with Manu POV.

Thank you for patient reading.

Stay safe.

Manasi

[manasi]

31.1

Manu

I was standing outside the closed door. Prem reappeared at right moment to take Kavita inside the house and lock the door behind. What was I supposed to do? Listen to her ecstasies moaning of carnal pleasure standing near the window? Did she expect me continuing the same what were a regular phenomenon during my temporary disability owing to casting of left hand? Every day Prem dropped me at distant to get gajra for her. Every day I stood outside the closed door listening to    their sexual pleasure. Every day she allowed me entry to my house with a beaming smile, a testimony of her satisfaction. Every day she proved my inadequateness. Every day she enjoyed my utter humiliation.



I could have, had I not met Guruji the day before. Last night I almost fell prey to her renewed acting. Possibly, she already had knowledge of my resignation. She was ready to encash on my fragile vulnerability. She had planned meticulously only to be surprised by my late arrival. She falsely declared of Prem’s vacation to boost my confidence, to remove air of suspicion created by her unwanted display of belly ring pendant. Once she was caught falsifying, she planned for morning show. She planned for showing my place. She had told me earlier that, “I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me.”  She had made a live demonstration. The incidents followed as per script. She was possessed by her boyfriend. It had to happen.  It was a testimony for my determination.



I reached Hardwar. I met Dr. Jaya in the hospital. She had information about my visit.  Immediately I was admitted. For next three days I was subjected to medical tests. Third day evening Dr. Jaya informed me that they have initiated hormone imbalance rectification treatment. It would take around four months to get normalised provided I strictly follow medication and diet. She expressed her doubt on me being doped with hormonal drugs. Immediately, I knew the source. Food could not be source. It could only be possible through beverages, either coffee or tea. It indicated direct involvement of Kavita. I was not ready to believe Kavita could poison me. I loved her so much. It was unbelievable, she would drug me negatively for boosting her extramarital sex. That was also when I had accepted her carnal relationship. She knew very well that I was not a hurdle for her erotic pleasure. Then what could be her motive to drug me? Possibly, property could be one reason. Again, she was already jointly holding properties including bank A/c.  Was she contemplating my death?



This did not look convincing. Why should she take risk when applying divorce could be better? She could always get alimony. Moreover, if my destruction was her intention, why should she safeguard me from bully of Prem?  She always advised me to be proactive in all interactions with Prem. She successfully de-registered my brain from joining any physical   fitness camp. She was afraid of my involvement into a one-sided fight leading to more physical damage. I was cautioned with the story of Rachna & Vipul. A terror was planted in my mind with the grave picture of Vipul and the very cause of his sufferings. It was clear that she acted as shield between Prem’s bully and I.



She had proper knowledge of Prem and his bullying character. She had slept with him before marriage. She herself had accepted that. Purposefully she invited him as houseguest. Prem bullying me without her knowledge and encouragement was not at all convincing. During our travel to hospital on that fateful day when Prem fractured my left hand, Prem indicated his intention of vacating our house. Kavita did not agree. She had other concerns with him. She could not afford to lose her boyfriend.  Prem stopped bullying me once Kavita shifted to his bedroom. It clearly indicated his intention of owning Kavita completely. Since her shifting to his bed, only once Prem had bullied me, when I encroached in his personal space. He bullied me under threat of contacting me to his bitch. I was at fault. I did not pay attention to his threats of being careful about contacting his bitch. That day Kavita rescued me from his torrential brutal physical attack by bribing her body. She should have been happy seeing me in distress. She should have rejoiced over my torture. On the contrary she joined me at night advising me to be proactive. She did not deny of carnal pleasure she received from her boyfriend on that evening. What could be her reasons to shield me from Prem? What made her share my bed on that night? She could have left me alone with my agony. It was not the first time she had witnessed my physical torment by her boyfriend.   Most probably she was afraid of me committing nuisance.  She was against my perish. She wanted me to live, not as her husband but as her slave.                                


The theory of my conversion into a sissy cuckold, always ready into slavery appeared to be more convincing. Again, it was not flawless. Initial few days of Prems arrival, I was forced into household activities. I was forced into sissy dressing. Immediate aftermath to my left-hand fracture, I was spared from household activities and sissy dressing. I only volunteered to prepare coffee in the morning.  She looked after all my requirements except my physical needs.  Whenever she was out on weekends, she ensured I did not starve on foods. She had always packed my foods in refrigerator with clear instructions left attached. And she did it without the knowledge of third parties. Why this hide and seek game?  After her shifting to Prem, except on weekends, when Gowri made her visits to our house, neither did she insist on my sissy dressing nor asked me into household activities. Yes, on weekends of Gowri’s visit, she took extra care to prove my cuckoldry. She successfully projected me as her sissy cuckold slave. I was made to serve bed-coffee to their room. I was forced to clean the room and doing laundry. Things normalised immediate aftermath of Gowri’s departure only to be repeated next weekends with arrival of Gowri. If she was interested in my slavery, she should have continued same throughout the weekdays. Was there any relation between Gowri’s visit and my sissy cuckold slavery? Was she getting some sort of sadistic pleasure by way of my humiliation in front of Gowri? Was she psychopath? How Gowri was connected with my renewed humiliation?



Another interesting observation surfaced into my brain. She was dressing into all sorts body hugging and revealing dresses till her shifting to her boyfriend.  She stopped displaying her curves and assets once Prem successfully claimed ownership of her body completely. She reassorted to exposing her bare skins & flaunting her curves during weekends of Gowri’s 2nd visit onwards limiting herself for the weekends only. She reverted to normalcy along with Gowri’s departure. Was she behaving to satisfy Gowri? Or Gowri instructed her accordingly? Her behaviour clearly indicated her sexual slavery to Prem. Was she slave to Gowri also sexually? Gowri was a young woman and naturally Prem was more interested in Gowri’s assets compared to Kavita’s. Was Kavita suffering from insecurity? Possibly true. I had seen her earnest desires pleasuring Prem in all possible ways. Was she worried for sharing Prem with Gowri? Not likely! She was well aware of Prem fucking Gowri intermittently. She knew this even before her shifting to Prem’s bedroom. She was well aware of the fact that Prem had multiple sexual partners during her college days. She had knowledge of Rachna sleeping with Prem. She was well aware of the fact that Prem can legally keep four wives. With all updated knowledge, she had decided to continue her relationship with Prem. She was so obsessed with the carnal pleasure she was getting with eight inches circumcised meat; she ignored all drawbacks & risks involved in her relationship with Prem.



But again, there was a question mark. If carnal pleasure was only her motive, why did she refuse Arun. She had stopped all advances of Arun. She had all chances to quench her physical thirst while staying in USA. What made her show restraint? So definitely, there were something beyond sex. Only possibility could be love angle. Possibly, she was in real love with Prem since college days. Practicality debarred her from getting married at that time. Best way she could advance through divorce. She had never indicated her intention of seeking divorce. On the contrary, she always professed her love towards me. Even on the day she shifted to Prem, she reaffirmed her love. She asked on that day, "So do you think I hate you, Manu?"

I retorted, "I don't know if you hate me, Kavi. But I know you despise me. You have no respect for me. And I don't think you love me."

She asked, after a pause, "So you think I've been living with you all these years, without loving you?"



She was not ready to accept Prem as her boyfriend. Even moments before her shifting to Prem’s bedroom, she vehemently rejected Prem as her boyfriend. She could sleep with him regularly. She was mentally ready to share his bed in his bedroom permanently. Still she was not ready to accept him as her boyfriend!  To her boyfriend and ex-boyfriend, a world of difference! She could accept Prem’s ownership on her body. She did not object public displaying of tattoos on her midriff with Prem’s initials as a mark of his ownership. She did not object to Prem’s attempts of displaying her curves in public in vulgar dresses. She did not object Prem groping and fondling her in public. But she objected Prem’s intention to project himself as her boyfriend.  She did so with Arun. She claimed had done so with the Mughlai restaurant manager also. Why was she so sceptical with the word boyfriend?                                                                                          


Could it be that she was under forced obligations like me? Not likely. I had seen her jovial in her relationship with Prem.  I had seen her embracing Prem before and after their lovemaking. I had seen her giving him her head ecstatically and cherishing swallowing his load. She was not a wimp like me to buckle under pressure. Extortion angle did not sound strong.



However, she allowed Prem to disgrace her in public. She allowed Prem to grope and fondle her in public view. Puja & Aslam had seen her being fondled in public. She was personified by them. She knew it. She allowed her to be disrobed by Prem in presence of Pervez, Ac repair crew member. Prem threatened me for my dissidence over sissy dressing to fuck her right in the middle of hall in presence of AC crew members. The way Kavita hurriedly dressed in seductive clothing and introduced herself with the crew members was a clear indication of her knowledge about Prem’s threat. If she was a willing member of being exposed in front of crew members, she would not have tried to cover herself by the presence of Pervez. It was a planned encounter on which Kavita had knowledge. The vigour with which Kavita was keeping track of AC crew appointment, approved my suspicion on her knowledge about Prem’s predetermined resolution to disgrace her in public. The question was why did she surrender?  I had witnessed Prem fondling her breast in movie hall right beside me.  A little imagination could reveal the type of treatment she had received during her visit to movie or Mughlai restaurant when she was alone with Prem only.  Prem was treating her as his concubine, his bitch, a public whore. I knew it, she also knew it. She knew her modesty was at stake. Why did she allow Prem that much liberty? Could anybody disgrace his lover in public? Did Prem really love her? If not, did she not realise the same? If yes, how could he disgrace her in public?



It appeared, she was least bothered about her public disgrace and social status. Then why she had to camouflage her intention of getting married to Prem and attaining motherhood? Why did she camouflage my mind with false promise of returning after two weeks? She found it appropriate to sleep with her boyfriend under same roof. My presence was not deterrent for her carnal pleasure. What she was really gaining extra with her false promise? What she wanted to convey by shedding crocodile tears? Was it some form of psychological treatment? What was her motive behind her contradictory behaviours?


I clearly remembered our telephonic talks aftermath her shifting to Prem. She was wearing tattoo for the second time with A.A inscribed. On my query She giggled audibly as she spoke, "Oh you saw my new tattoo? Isn't it cute?"

"Very cute, Kavi. Especially the letters in the middle of the heart."

She asked, trying to sound innocent, "What letters?"

"Don't pretend to me, Kavi. The letters A.A were in the middle of the heart and you know it, and I know you know it."

There was a long silence from her end, as I heard her exhale deeply.
"If that's what you think it says, Manu, then that's what it says."

"Forget tattoos, Kavi. Look at your ACTIONS. Why are you lying to me about loving me? I know it's not true."

She again drew a deep breath and said, "Manu, remember our discussion on Saturday?"

I stayed silent.

She took my silence for assent and continued, "Manu, I need my question answered. This current discussion isn't getting us anywhere. I know I love you, and I tell you I love you. But I cannot MAKE you believe it, not at this point."


Only day before yesterday, Guruji cautioned me, “Never judge any character from their external behaviour. We never know the exact forces under which an object is subjected to.”


She did not accept that the letters A.A were initials of Amir Ali in the same way as she never accepted Prem as his boyfriend.  She also claimed her love to me while she had already shifted to Prem. What could be the exact reasons for Kavita to behave in contradictory manners? I could not think further. I left it for future.



Jaya informed; I was lucky to be detected in time. I did not ask for the details. I had to narrate my story again. Accepting my defeat was not that humiliating this time. It was repetition of what I already confessed to Guruji.  Still it was not that easy. Jaya was a young woman, could be the reason in the beginning. Soon she proved that she was more a doctor than a woman. I started confession but she finished it.  In the middle of our discussion, I realized that I was merely answering her questions. She progressed from end to beginning.


Very next day, I was shifted to a dislocated location, a location far away from localities in deep forest, hidden at a remote corner of Himalayas. A few kilometers walking from main road through forest helped me reach the campus. Except basic amenities, nothing was available.  Even to access the basic amenities, one had to struggle.


My training started. It started with oath taking.


Guruji explained, “Our mind is really powerful, yet we can control it using mind control techniques. It is possible to just implant a certain thought in our mind, and feel the emotions related with that thought and train your mind to respond in a manner that we desire. Every thinking processes an individual aims at achieving happiness and pursues his or her own paths towards this goal are construed. As individuals, our concepts of what constitutes happiness differ. Often, there is a clear uneasiness in our lives that we are aware of but unable to pinpoint. This is because of our unachieved dreams and wishes and consequent dis-satisfaction.”



He further explained, “Our subconscious mind is aware of the sources of our unhappiness but our conscious mind is often unable to comprehend the same. To harness our full potential, it is essential that our conscious and subconscious minds work in tandem. The subconscious mind is the abode of our attitudes, emotions and outlook on life. By harnessing the power of the subconscious mind, we can focus on things that are important to us. Irrational fears hold us back from achieving our potential. Often, negative emotions like fear, jealousy, greed, anger, loss of hope, loss of faith in humankind and self-hold us back from being happy. By harnessing the power of the subconscious, we can control our mind and make it free from negative emotions.”



Next, he cautioned, “Unfortunately, every good thing is associated with some bad things as well. You can never separate light from darkness. Like every tool can be used for wrong purpose, Mind Control also can be misused. Mind control is a very powerful weapon and depending on its use, can either be constructive or destructive. It means different things to different people. When applied for good cause, it brings peace & tranquility. It can also be used on third party as coercive persuasion, brainwashing, thought reform, manipulation, and seduction, among others.”


Guruji concluded, “So, please take oath not to use the Mind Control techniques for the cause of destruction, whatever may be the reasons. Even if situation demands self-destruction, Mind Control should never be misused. Mind Control should never be applied for sole purpose of harming others, unless much superior cause demands its use.”

I took the oath, touching feet. I promised to apply Mind Control techniques only for good cause and never to cause harm to anybody.



For first three months, it restricted to Meditation, Yoga, Pranayama and Martial Arts. Yes, the training included practicing Judo and karate. Day started well before sunrise and day ended after one hour of dinner. I had to do all my jobs alone. I could self asses the changes within myself. On each passing day, I was feeling more energetic. Physical fitness level was improving to new heights. The feeling that ‘I can do’ was encouraging me to achieve next target. Every passing day, I was gaining control on my wandering mind. I was gaining confidence. Kavita, Prem, Gowri and my parents occasionally visited me when I was alone in bed just before sleep. Past memories were tormenting me in my sleep. Slowly I could gain some control over them. I could not wipe out the memories completely, but the frequency and anguish reduced. Finally, a stage had come when the visit to memory lane was no longer induced. It was my decision to allow the memory or not.




On every fortnight, Jaya met me to take stock of my improvement and collecting blood samples. The occasion she utilised teaching me human psychology. I learnt from her, “Normally, every activity of human under normal circumstances are directed by motive. It is very easy to extrapolate behaviour of any human once the motive is known. The motive can be of good or bad nature. However, there are exceptions to this rule also. The sudden change of moods due to external or internal stimuli can force a human act against motive. The person becomes more unpredictable, when he or she is more prone to moods. Anger is one such mood where human behaves abnormally most. Fear, Greed, Lust, Jealousy, Hatred etc other moods of similar nature.”

After end of the three and half months Guruji met me in a new campus.



He requested me if I could correct a computer system which was not working for a week.  I was happy to extend my help. I had studied computer science. Within short time I could detect the minor snag and correct the system.



He thanked and took me round the campus

We reached a small workshop. One man was working on lathe.  “Jay, can you please stop the machine.” Then he addressed to me. “Manu, can you please operate the machine.”

I didn’t know how to operate the lathe. I had operated similar machine long back during my engineering as part of curriculum only for few days. I lacked confidence. This was a power machine tool and any mistake could cause accidents. I expressed my concerns.

Guruji appeared read my mind. He searched for the operation manual, “This is the manual. You go through the manual and learn. How much time will you take to operate the machine?”

I expressed my genuine concerns, “I don’t think will be able to learn by reading the manual. I need some demonstration and supervision to operate. I will be able to operate only after some training.”

Guruji smiled, “OK, I agree with you. Do you play any musical instruments?”

I used to play flutes in my college days. I had fascinations on it. Happily, I acknowledged.

We left the workshop to proceed further. After crossing a few buildings, we entered one building. I could find a lot of musical instruments. I could recognize a few.  There were a few flutes.  I momentarily lost in past when I used to play flute. How happy I was during those days! My mind filled in all nostalgic memories.



“Manu, please play the flute.” I got distracted. Guruji had picked up a flute from the lot.

After some initial inhibitions I could perform. I could display some respectful performance after some initial failures. After I finished, he took the flute from me and started playing.  He started with desh raga, effortlessly moved in bageshree raga and finally concluded in bihag raga.  It was mesmerizing. As if flute got the life. I lost all track of time when he continued performance in bihag raga. I only remembered a feeling of heaviness in my heart. The melody continued to reverberate in brain for some time even after the performance ended.

“How did you enjoy the flute?” Guruji asked for my opinion.

“You are splendid. “

“You also played very well.”

“Please don’t pamper me. There is no comparison.”

“Do you know the reason for difference?”

“You have god gifted quality and you practiced very well.” I reasoned.

Guruji beamed radiantly. We moved to next room appeared to be classroom. He requested for fruit juices for us and we comfortably seated.

“Here you are Manu.  You are correct. You are master in your field. You solved the computer problem so easily which was a nightmare for us. On the other hand, you see, Joy was able to perform with lathe so proficiently. He is only 4th pass but you are a master degree holder engineer. Practice and experience make the difference. Everybody can’t be master in each and every field. Not knowing something is neither crime nor inefficiency.



Guruji requested me to fetch the same flute.

I brought the flute. A middle-aged woman served fruit juices.

Guruji requested her to play the flute. She was far better than me but nowhere near Guruji. After she departed with the flute, Guruji sought my opinion, “We all three played the same flute. I have outperformed you both. Even she is also far better than you. One year back when she joined here, she did not even see a flute. She had seen the students play flutes in classes and started playing. Over time she has improved a lot by putting sincere efforts. Can you draw any co-relation in our performances?”

I vaguely tried to find suitable answer. I had no clue.

Guruji came to my rescue, “Same flute vibrates differently with different users. Even without the gift of God, with practice and experience we can improve qualities. Very few in this world are gifted with superior qualities. These inherited or God gifted qualities do not blossom of its own. Proper environment is always required for nurturing the qualities to grow. A person with average gifted qualities very often over performs a superior gifted person by sheer grit and determination. The opposite is also true. Examples of gifted persons failing miserably due to lack of practice and determination are not scare. The most important factors are uncompromising willingness, relentless practices and fortitude of reaching goal. The shortcomings in gifted qualities are mostly compensated by the zeal of life. Even at worst case, with the defeat at every stage; you will always take pleasure in the excitement of marvelous journey towards reaching your goal.”


“With your willingness of learning, devotion and maneuvering experience you could command computer in the same way Joy could command the lathe or I could play the flute. Without God’s gift, you may not be able to play flute like me but you can definitely improve your performance with practice to a level at par with experts.”



“We inherent our physical structure mainly through hereditary. The environment has little role to play in development of your general physique. We need to be contented on whatever God has gifted to us. You should be proud of everything whatever belongs to you. As a matter of fact, you should not be burdened with the virility you possess. You should look for effective utilization and attaining perfection. Love making is a process requires patience, devotion, experience, practices, passion and physical stamina to attain perfection. Profound knowledge of human anatomy, especially functionaries of sexual organs and understanding the psychological inclination of partner are keys to success. We need to capitulate with this knowledge. Every woman’s body & mind is like this flute. You need positive mind frame and willingness to tune with her body & mind to achieve desired effect.”



“You will be trained practically to alleviate your confidence on love making. Your structured training on love making will start within a few days. Most of the training will be practical with lot of practices. Theoretical parts will be imparted as and when required. This will be in addition to your present training on Mind Control techniques. Over time, you will be able to appreciate the role of Mind Control techniques in harnessing proficiency in Love making process. The love making process commands involvement of body as well as mind. I do appreciate and understand your constraints in involving physically with other women. It should not be a big hurdle as you are already in enviable position of Mind Control. You should understand the difference between role play and the reality. Please treat the women involved as your teacher and their bodies are medium of instruction. Please remove any kind of inhibition, while touching their bodies. Always remember, these are part of your treatment. Based on your performances, you will be elevated to appropriate level of love making.”

***

[manasi]

Dear cuckold stories are not revenge drama, go through some of them, you'll find many over the Internet written by famous writers none of them turn into revenge, you're bringing martial arts, guruji, psychiatrist, drugs, and maybe security officer and what not except sex . Your version has everything except that one thing on which this story was based.

I thought you had been convinced that Manu was not a cuckold. Dr. Preethi had clearly proved that Manu was not cuckold.

Please don't be emotional fool. Logically prove Dr. Preethi wrong with examples from original story. I will look forward for any deviation from the characterization of indiansubmale.

Please continue reading and commenting.

Thank you for your participation.

[manasi]

31.2

Manu


I was shifted back to plain, again in some dislocated area. My training to the next level progressed on desired course.

The first thing I learned that I was average endowed. Where the mean length stands at 5.2 inches, I was 5 inches. The erect length follows normal distribution. 68% of men measure between 4.5 and 5.8 inches and 95% are in the 3.9- and 6.5-inch range. I am in the category of ± 1σ. Nearly 45% of men are worse endowed than me. I learned to be proud of myself. In simple terms, only 2.5% men possesses greater than 6.5 inches long penis. The greater the length, the more the problem. The very reason was female genital depth also followed normal distribution. For an unaroused female, average vaginal depth is 3.77 inches which extends up to 6.2 inches when aroused sexually. An average female can comfortably accommodate an average penis.

For a female, most sensory sexual nerves concentrate at clitoris of vagina area and breast especially at nipple. Below three inches depth of vaginal canal, there exists almost no sensory nerves. So, a female physically doesn’t get any extra physical pleasure from a lengthy penis. Rather an excessive lengthy penis hurts them out of direct hitting at cervix. But yes, psychological aspect cannot be ruled out where some females are particularly obsessed with big size penis. However, generally with passing time, most of the females understands, appreciates and accepts average size penis as best for copulating where ever they get chance to experiment.

The sexologist explained:

The excitement mechanism and duration, we call it as human sexual response cycle differs a lot between a man & woman.



The human sexual response cycle is a four-stage model of physiological responses to sexual stimulation, which, in order of their occurrence, are the excitement-, plateau-, orgasmic-, and resolution phases.

Among both sexes, the excitement phase results in an increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and a rise in blood pressure. It is found that sexual arousal in about 82% of young females and 52% of young males arises or is enhanced by direct stimulation of nipples, Vasocongestion of the skin, commonly referred to as the sex flush, will occur in approximately 50-75% of females and 25% of males.

During the female sex flush, pinkish spots develop under the breasts, then spread to the breasts, torso, face, hands, soles of the feet, and possibly over the entire body. Vasocongestion is also responsible for the darkening of the clitoris and the walls of the vagina during sexual arousal. During the male sex flush, the coloration of the skin develops less consistently than in the female, but typically starts with the upper abdomen, spreads across the chest, then continues to the neck, face, forehead, back, and sometimes, shoulders and forearms. The sex flush typically disappears soon after orgasm occurs, but this may take up to two hours or so and, sometimes, intense sweating will occur simultaneously. The flush usually diminishes in reverse of the order in which it appeared.



In males, the beginning of the excitement phase is observed when the penis becomes partially or fully erect, often after only a few seconds of erotic stimulation. The erection may be partially lost and regained repeatedly during an extended excitement phase. Both testicles become drawn upward toward the perineum, notably in circumcised males where less skin is available to accommodate the erection. Also, the scrotum can tense and thicken during the erection process.



In females, the excitement phase can last from several minutes to several hours. The onset of Vasocongestion results in swelling of the woman's clitoris, labia minora and vagina. The muscle that surrounds the vaginal opening grows tighter and the uterus elevates and grows in size. The vaginal walls begin to produce a lubricating organic liquid. Meanwhile, the breasts increase slightly in size and nipples become hardened and erect.

The plateau phase is the period of sexual excitement prior to orgasm. The phase is characterized by an increased circulation and heart rate in both sexes, increased sexual pleasure with increased stimulation and further increased muscle tension. Also, respiration continues at an elevated level. Both men and women may also begin to vocalize involuntarily at this stage. Prolonged time in the plateau phase without progression to the orgasmic phase may result in sexual frustration.

During plateau phase, the male urethral sphincter contracts so as to prevent urine from mixing with semen, and to guard against retrograde ejaculation and muscles at the base of the penis begin a steady rhythmic contraction. Males may start to secrete seminal fluid or pre-ejaculatory fluid and the testicles rise closer to the body.

The plateau stage in females is basically a continuation of the same changes evident in the excitement stage. The clitoris becomes extremely sensitive and withdraws slightly, and the Bartholin glands produce further lubrication. The tissues of the outer third of the vagina swell, and the pubococcygeus muscle tightens, reducing the diameter of the opening of the vagina. For those who never achieve orgasm, this is the peak of sexual excitement.

Orgasm is the conclusion of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and is experienced by both males and females. It is accompanied by quick cycles of muscle contraction in the lower pelvic muscles, which surround both the anus and the primary sexual organs. Women also experience uterine and vaginal contractions. Orgasms are often associated with other involuntary actions, including vocalizations and muscular spasms in other areas of the body and a generally euphoric sensation. Heart rate is increased even further.

In males, orgasm is usually associated with ejaculation. Each ejection is accompanied with continuous pulses of sexual pleasure, especially in the penis and loins. Other sensations may be felt strongly among the lower spine or lower back. The first and second convulsions are usually the most intense in sensation and produce the greatest quantity of semen. Thereafter, each contraction is associated with a diminishing volume of semen and a milder sensation of pleasure.

Orgasms in females can vary widely from woman to woman. The overall sensation is similar to that of the male orgasm. They are commonly associated with an increase in vaginal lubrication, a tightening of the vaginal walls and overall pleasure.

The resolution phase occurs after orgasm and allows the muscles to relax, blood pressure to drop and the body to slow down from its excited state. The refractory period, which is part of the resolution phase, is the time frame in which usually a man is unable to orgasm again, though women can also experience orgasm in refractory period.

Masters and Johnson described the two-stage detumescence of the penis: In the first stage, the penis decreases from its erect state to about 50 percent larger than its flaccid state. This occurs during the refractory period. In the second stage and after the refractory period is finished, the penis decreases in size and returns to being flaccid. It is generally impossible for men to achieve orgasm during the refractory period. Masters and Johnson argue that this period must end before men can become aroused again.

According to Masters and Johnson, women have the ability to orgasm again very quickly, as long as they have effective stimulation. As a result, they are able to have multiple orgasms in a relatively short period of time. Though generally reported that women do not experience a refractory period and thus can experience an additional orgasm, or multiple orgasms, soon after the first, some sources state that men and women experience a refractory period because women may also experience a period after orgasm in which further sexual stimulation does not produce excitement. For some women, the clitoris is very sensitive after climax, making additional stimulation initially painful. After the initial orgasm, subsequent orgasms for women may also be stronger or more pleasurable as the stimulation accumulates.”



***

Sex is perceived differently by men and women.

Majority of men see sex through their penis. Majority of nerves concentrate at the tip of penis. Penis is major source of sexual gratification for men. A man can easily be stimulated by external medium. A beautiful or sexy woman can cause a desire for sex in man. A visual medium can have its instantaneous effect. Any pornographic materials can cause excitement and erection in men. A man needs relatively little time to achieve erection. A penis does not have any muscle. The flow of blood makes it stiff. When a man is sexually excited, more blood is pumped to the organ. Heart works extra to cope up with additional blood flow.



On the contrary, the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings which is nearly double of penis. The 2nd most nerve density is at nipple. Whatever nerves exist in vaginal ducts are located within two inches depth from opening. Contrary to normal belief, a very few nerves exist at depth of vagina duct, not sufficient to generate physical pleasure. A three-inch-long penis is enough to give a woman sufficient physical pleasure during intercourse, if used aptly.  The effect of large penis is psychological rather than physical. Because of high nerve concentration, a woman is sexually stimulated easily through nipple and clit.



A woman’s sexuality is very different from a man. A woman is not affected to that extent a man is affected by external stimuli. A woman see sex through their mind. They look for attachment and long-term relationship more than external look in a man. Consequently, a woman needs more time to get excited. A prolong foreplay is mostly essential to excite a woman to plateau phase. They enjoy more in sex because of lengthy plateau phase and active involvement of mind. They want men to worship their sexual organs rather than treating them roughly. Most women prefer feather touch and care over roughness at the beginning of foreplay. In excited stage she may not object rough handling. Out of intense pleasure, mostly she plays submissive role and may encourage her partner in roughness.  Due to high concentration of nerves far outwitting men, their orgasm is more intense compared to men. They enjoy sexual play more than men. However, they suffer more from sexual frustration if the orgasm is denied.



But there is a caution. There is always exception to general theory. Every woman is different in her sexuality and require a close observation on her behavioural changes during love making process.



***



Intimate touch of other female bodies other than my wife created some reticence, which I could ward off within short period. After crossing kissing and fondling, I was taught the art of delaying ejaculation. I was taught to reflect on the bodily changes in a woman’s body during love making process. I learnt to treat a woman’s body as a fine musical instrument to tune up enhancing pleasure. I learnt to pleasure myself while pleasuring her. I learnt to delay penetration till she craves for it. It was so difficult initially and presently so easy to retain stiffness! Control your mind. Concentrate on the woman rather than concentrating on your genital. Rest was assured.

During course of training, I met Jaya a few times. She was mostly involved in psychology part. I had developed a strange relationship with her. She may be two years junior to me. She was only child of her parents like me. Our fusion in new relationship did not take much time to grow. What she found in me I didn’t know. I could get solace of my broken heart in her warmth affection.

Four months passed since my travel from Bangalore.

My training was completed. Guruji met me on penultimate day in presence of Jaya.

Guruji addressed me, “This was a learning process where we both intended to learn something from each other. While you may think, what do we need to learn anything from you? Just believe me; no learning process is complete unless we all accept our limitations. While you learnt from our experiences, we also learnt and enriched our experiences from your journey from despair to tranquility. Thank you, Manu, for your devotion and willingness to overcome the hurdles of life. Now, I see a confident man ready to sail through the rough waters. I bless you in your all future assignments.  Please remember extending all helps to the needy people when they need most.”

After some pause, he asked, “Manu, are you moving to Bangalore?”

I had no plan. I did not think about it. I accepted the truth.

“Do you remember our discussion on our first meet at Bangalore? We talked about forgiveness. Presently, you are in a state of attaining control of your mind. If the present state of affairs in your house is prevalent to the earlier ones, what will be your probable actions? Now it is clear to you about the situations which were not under your control but decided to gain control over them. Presently you are in better position to make decisions and gain control over situations. Would you like to forgive them?”

Momentarily I traversed to the past of my life. The humiliation, the physical torture, the ugly adultery and my shameless submission, everything flashed in my memory. I expressed my internal feelings, “My acceptance to sissy dressing was out of my trepidation. My acceptance to Kavita’s adultery was due to my anxiety of losing her. My acceptance of humiliation was attributed to my stigma of social pride. It was my utter foolishness asking for sacrifices from my wife. In wanton desire on my selfishness, I had overlooked freedom from constraints. I did compromise on basic requirements of life. My foolish submission to situation only complicated everybody’s life. I could not appreciate the freedom of mind and body.“ I looked at the ever-smiling face of Guruji. With determination I concluded, “Now it’s time to redo the ill effects of my wrongdoings. I can differentiate and appreciate between adjustment &compromise. I am now in a position to appreciate the full glory of life in its neutral, immaculate state. True value of life can only be harnessed in freedom. I will prefer to reinstate her freedom. I will encourage her into happy and prosperous life in society whatever ways she envisages for.”

“I appreciate your goodness. Will you continue to implement your ideas in case your wife seeks forgiveness? Will you forcefully vacate her from your life?”

I looked down and fumbled, “I don’t consider her sole responsible for my past trauma. Being implicated on same offence, I don’t approve my candidature as forgiver. If my forgiveness generates solace in her mind, I will do that happily. I was taking about giving divorce, not about vacating her from my life. I accept my inability to control my mind to that level driving her out of my mind. “

“Manu, I know, you love your wife. You are not able to forget her. Don’t compromise, not only with your life but also with her. Adjustment and compromise are not same though sometimes are viewed unilaterally. Love is synonym with sacrifice, not acquisition. Ask your conscious, and if you are ready to adjust then only proceed. You also need to figure out, what exactly she wanted. What you perceive through your sensory organs is not necessarily always true.”

“Continue practicing Yoga, Pranayama, Meditation and Martial arts. They are feed to your body and mind to keep them alert and healthy. Never misuse your power for reaching self-goal. Extend your help and forgiveness judiciously wherever possible for betterment of mankind.”

Guruji then turned to Jaya, “Take care of him. He may need some guidance from you.”



***



We returned to Hardwar.

One day Jaya asked me after dinner, “Do you still love Kavita?”

Trying to suppression my hesitation I asked, “How does it make any sense? Let her be happy in her new life.”

Jaya replied guardedly, “It may not ignite your interest any more, but it matters me a lot. I need to understand your mental inclination towards her without any ambiguity.”

Yes, I could not stop but loving her. Jaya was looking at me intently. I humbly accepted, “Yes, I do.”

“I envy of her luck. In spite of such uncouth behaviour, you still love her. But does she reciprocate?”

I sighed, “I am not sure. She always sent mixed signals. One moment it appeared she was concerned about me; the next moment she was opposite. She never allowed me to understand her. I don’t know why she behaved with me that way.”

“Do you approve her behaviour?”

“No and yes. She accepted me in my inadequacy. For four years, she did not show any resentment. She performed her duties as a wife. I failed in my duties of a husband. Even she could not attain motherhood. As a woman she deserved better life. I don’t deny her rights to be happy. In her own capacity, she deserved the best of this world. My only objection was in her chosen approaches.  She could have divorced me.  Also, I don’t appreciate Prem as a good choice. I don’t know why, it always appeared to me as if she has been trapped. It may be my hallucination.”

“If you were convinced that she deserved better, then why did not you divorce her earlier?”

“I couldn’t. I thought of divorcing her many times. My selfishness prevailed over my good concerns. I was proud to have Kavita as my wife. I was also worried for finding a wife in the event she leaves me.” I paused briefly and continued after a thought, “Even the thought of her not with me made me remorseful. I couldn’t think of my life without her.”

“Was she aware of your thought process?”

I took a deep sigh, “I think she knew my weakness.”

“Well, when Prem was bullying you, why didn’t you protest?”

“He was a well-built hunk. I couldn’t fight him physically. He threatened me of impotency. I was scared. I was not mentally strong enough to counter his bully. Also, Kavita had supported him.”

“You could have taken the help of security officer. Why did not you opt for it?

“Yes, that was a viable option. Many a times, I thought about it. What would have I gained? I had no proof of Prem’s bullying. I was fighting to hide my apparent pervert act not to be known to Kavita. Also, there was another problem. Kavita was directly involved. If I complained, she also could have been implemented. Moreover, I wanted her back. I did not want to lose her to Prem. Considering all aspects, I decided against.”

“What is your opinion now? Has Kavita made these plans all alone or Prem is also equally involved? Why was Kavita manipulating so much, you think? She could have divorced you. She already owned half of your property. She could easily get handsome alimony. Why did she risk her life? “

I had no idea. I accepted my ignorance. ”I am not sure. I was devastated. I wanted the matter to end. I somehow tolerated her adultery with the hope of reclaiming her back. I thought, some day she would realize her mistakes and come back. On seeing her belly ring with A.A pendant, my hopes crashed. She was without pills also. Possibly, she was manipulating me to start family with Prem’s baby keeping her marital status with me intact. Immediately, I thought of ending my life. As the time passed, I became slightly calm.  I was pondering the idea of exiting from their life to move to an unknown place. Then I met Guruji in the seminar and I was here.”

“Are you thinking of returning to Bangalore?”

“I have to go once at least. Even if I decide relocating myself, I have to collect my credentials to start new.” Hesitantly I added, “Also I want to find out how Kavita is keeping presently. She may be carrying. I ought to give her freedom from marital bondage.”

“Well understood. There are various probabilities. Say, Kavita is going strong with Prem. What are you going to do?”

I replied, “I will consider divorcing her. It is insane to force anybody into a relationship. She deserves freedom and chose her life.”

“There can be a slight variation in above situation. Say, Kavita is leading a slavery life with Prem.  Then?”

“She has to decide.  I will extend her all help to come out of the situation.“  I expressed my views without thinking. After some thought I said, “Chances are very remote.  As far I know Kavita, she would never buckle under force. The question of staying her with Prem under constraint does not arise. I had never observed any discomfiture in her behaviour during her relationship with Prem. Rather she was happy. “

“It could be like she is pregnant and compelled to stay with Prem.  She does not want to abort her child. What would you do in that event?”

With some thought I said, “Jaya, you are unnecessarily complicating the issue. She continuing her pregnancy can be a clear indication of her willingness. Also, she does not require to stay with Prem under force as to some extent she is economically independent.  I will prefer to give her freedom to decide her life herself.”

“In the event of another probability, if Kavita is found to be leading a solo life, and desires to reconcile with, what will be your options?”

I stared at her for a long time, slowly but affirmatively I replied, “You don’t know her. I have told you my story in details. Do you find any such probability? Why are you so obsessed with her?”

“I need to. She may accept you under constraints. She may not love you. She may pretend love to win back your confidence to cheat you again. She may not accept divorce for purpose. Are you prepared for reconciliation, in that event?”

I couldn’t deny the chances. I was confident of better bed performance. But the married relationship was not entirely physical. Her mental inclination was still unknown. If sexual gratification was her only motive, she would have kept her affairs secret. In practice, she behaved differently. She was keen to publicize her affair to me; at least it appeared to me like that. The last incident flashed in my memory. Holding my hands, she was begging for my return. Even when Prem forced her hands off me, she was begging. She was crying. I did not see her crying. But her voice ensured her state. Was she faking? Why should she fake and why not?

On previous night, she informed me about Prem’s eviction only to be proved wrong next moment. Prem resurfaced at that instant. She wanted to verify my reactions. She had planned in advance everything.  It was a well calculated move on her part. Early morning incidents cemented the theory.  She pretended to care for me while being overtaken by her boyfriend or present husband.  She had told me earlier that, “I can't control my boyfriend, as you know, he's much more possessive over me.”  She had made a live demonstration of the possessiveness of her boyfriend over her.


I remembered; she was in full tears just previous day of her shifting to Prem permanently. Next day she shifted. She had preparation since morning. She advanced breakfast. She changed into a seductive sari blouse outfit flaunting her assets.  She said that day, "This has been coming for a while now. But it had to happen." She knew everything. She had planned everything. She had been sleeping with Prem regularly for quite some time. Yet she pretended love and affair to divert my mind. She faked tears to create camouflage in my mind. She was capable of doing anything to camouflage my mind.  I surrendered to Jaya. “What do you advice?”



“I am a psychiatrist and in better position to read minds of individuals from their behaviours. You see people through your heart; I see them through my brain. I propose to   make a visit to your house in Bangalore. Your duty will end at introducing me to Kavita. Rest I will take care. You can depend on my professionalism. Depending on the situations, we can decide future course of action.”

I objected, “Prem will be there. Don’t you think it as audaciously improper to disturb their private affairs?  After a pause I suggested, “We can meet her outside and collect my credentials. Why to go to house?”

Jaya smiled, “So your objection is Prem. I will ensure his absence during our visit. Now you should not have any problem. Is it OK?”

It was my turn to get perplexed, “How could you ensure that? You don’t know anybody of them.”

She smiled mischievously, “Prem is an amateur photographer. He can be sent out to attend to some workshop. Leave it on me. We psychiatrists enjoy some secret privileges.”

Still I was skeptical, “She may behave rudely with you. She may even humiliate you also. Worst she may not allow you to enter her house.”

“In that event, our job will be simplified. And don’t worry about my humiliation. Don’t forget about Mind Control. I have learnt how to control my mind.” She teased me after a pause, “Don’t you want to see her baby bump?”

I turned red in embarrassment, “Why are you unnecessary taking so much trouble.”

She smiled, “I am taking trouble because I love you. I want to be happy and your life is in her hand. I got to know her intention prior to making my move.”

There was nothing for me to object, I agreed. I was looking forward to meet Kavita. Was she really pregnant? How would she look in her baby bump? Would she be hidden under burqa? Would she lift her niqab while speaking to me?

“Two more things I need your concurrence. First, you owe a visit to your house at Delhi. Your parents are anxiously waiting for your return.”

The very prospects of meeting my parents lightened my face momentarily only to feel remorse next moment. Jaya noticed my changes and smiled. “Don’t worry. Nobody will ask anything about Kavita. I am in contact with your parents. Don’t ask me details at this moment.”

I got relieved of my paranoid, “Thanks Jaya.” How did she access my parents? Was she in contact with Kavita also? Presently, I decided not to trouble her with my questions. Let her decide of her own.

“You are welcome. We are leaving tomorrow night to Delhi and from there next day to Bangalore. This is settled. The other thing which I want you -----” Jaya was hesitating.

I intervened. “You can confer with me without hesitation. I believe you.”

Jaya hesitated, “I think it can wait till our return from Bangalore.”

I pleaded, “Please Jaya, you also started behaving with me evasive!”

She smiled to assure herself more than me.” Do you accept that, you owe your present life to me more than anybody else in this world other than Guruji?”

I promptly accepted in bright smile, “Definitely yes. I never denied that.”

She whispered, “I love you.”

I smiled, “I know you love me. I also love you. What makes you doubt?”.

With radiant smile she objected, “No No, I am not in doubt. I am reassuring myself.” She stopped briefly before continuing pleadingly, “You can’t refuse. My father has left huge property, which is largely unutilised. I request you to start a business with that money.” Before I could protest, she was quick to add, “Take it as loan. Please don’t refuse. Remember, I own your life and it’s my demand.”

She persisted relentlessly to accept me her proposal. She allowed me to sleep only after ensuring my acceptance.



End of Chapter 31

[manasi]

Dear all,

Wish you all a happy Diwali celebration.

Due to some reasons, I started this tribute to explore possible motives of the protagonist depicted by indiansubmale. Being an average human, I could get wrong at any point. I was well aware of the fact that this forum may not be appropriate to explore with logic. While I was skeptical of the viewership, the truth overwhelmed me. Many readers welcomed my logical explanation. I have sincerely avoided miracles and religious preaches. I devoted to more science and societal norms in explaining the characters. Astrologers and religious leaders did not figure in my explanation as I personally don't believe in them. Guruji here represents a spiritual leader above any religion and more of a psychiatrist and social worker. I never wanted any readers gets personally affected with my tribute. 


The latest posting of xx30 suggests that he is deeply pained by unknown reasons. Normally no readers behaves this way. Readers are always welcome to criticize within the scope and I had well defined my scope in the very beginning. Though there may be many reasons for his discomfiture, I personally feel guilty of causing him undesired pain beyond my sensible knowledge. Even though, I am within my freedom and at liberty to ignore him, it pains me thinking above.


While I am committed to end this tribute by year end, a thin line of doubt arising in my mind. Will it be appropriate to be a cause of pain to any readers in this forum where most of the readers join here to get some pleasure? To tell the truth, I am confused. You readers suggest. I was due to post my next update on 15th Nov morning which I am withholding for another 24 hours for readers to decide.


Out of 7 scheduled updates for this month, I am a bit late, as only 2 are published. I can withhold all the updates and post all in one go by year end. This may help xx30 not to lose his mental composure step by step. I am not against his criticism. I am afraid of him losing his psychological balance.


Your valuable suggestions are welcome for taking a positive decision. Please help me to decide.

Thank you all.

Have nice times.

[manasi]

32.1
Kavita

I gained my sense to discover myself lying on hospital bed. I could not remember anything immediately. Only I could sense pain in my lower abdomen and private area. I struggled to open my eyes. Everything was blurred.

I closed my eyes. Slowly I remembered everything. I have been raaped brutally. Tears filled in my eyes. Prem not only raaped my body, he raaped my soul also. My life is now out of danger. I am not dead. I breathed deeply and thanked almighty for safety of my husband.


I slowly opened my eyes. Gowri was leaning over my face. She did not speak. She put her hand on my head in assurance that everything was all right.  Seeing her, I lost all composure. She failed to console me. Silently I wept. Tears rolled down through my cheeks.

Next day hospital authority called security officer personnel. It took a few hours to complete all the legal formalities on my statement etc.     

I had news. Good as well as bad. How long I was lying outside of our flat in that state, nobody knew. Security discovered me during routine switching off of corridor lights.  Immediately he alerted other securities.  I was rushed to hospital immediately. Prem was pulled out of his hideout in the bathroom. He was thrashed mercilessly by the mob. By the time security officer retrieved him from the mob, he was unconscious. security officer had to give undertaking for strict exemplary punishment to gain access to him. He was shifted to hospital for medical examination. The delay had a great impact. Mob had broken his right hand from elbow. He had been subjected to castration operation. His both testicles were battered and veins were snapped. They could not be salvaged and were surgically removed. I felt a sense of happiness. Whatever be the outcome of the court, he had been served with punishment. I had punished him. I had taken revenge!


The bad news was there was no information of Manu. He was untraceable.


Hospital discharged me on seventh day after my bleeding stopped. I had some mental relief observing my fresh blood. I had my periods on date. The physical damage on my private part was not gruesome. I was advised to abstain from sex for a month period. We were taken to another hospital for identification.  Prem was in wheelchair with right hand amputated from elbow. He was apologetic. He was seeking forgiveness profusely. Nothing entered my brain. I identified Prem and requested officer to take him away. I couldn’t withstand his presence.

The first thing I did was lodging a missing diary for Manu.

Gowri had shifted to be with me. She considered me as her saviour. She was blaming herself for my ordeal. “Didi, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m only responsible for these states. I should have alerted you long back. Prem played behind me and I joined hands with him. I should have informed you immediately discovering him deceitful. I acted like a fool, an idiot. Please forgive me.”


She was in tears. She was filled with remorse. I had tough time to console her. We both were victims of Prem’s wicked, immoral planning. I could not divulge her all the details of past two months of my ordeal. To my relief, she did not show undue interest on my past. We both were sharing the main bedroom. I had stake of bad memories in both the rooms. The guest bedroom appeared more frightening. By looking at the room itself, I got stuck into terror. It reminded me of my ordeals for months. In comparison main bedroom was better. I was gruesomely violated in this room. The worst memory of my life was attached to this room. It also witnessed many pleasant moments I had spent with Manu. His small mistakes, his lethargy of getting up in the morning, my fake angers and his valiant try to placate me, everything surfaced in memory to remind me the enormous loss.  The pleasant memories of Manu softened my wound to some extent.


security officer had recovered the photo albums. They had taken into custody all belongings of Prem. They had unearthed a lot of obscene photos and videos from his secret hideouts. He had even photographed Gowri in her nakedness. Searching of his Hyderabad accommodation generated a lot of clue. Many other girls were figured in his clutch apart from proof of his involvement in narcotics. His accomplish in A/c repair Pervez was in run but was nabbed successfully by security officer. The security officer were expecting to fish out more connections in their net.

“He will be jailed for minimum 10 years”, I was informed.

Only information I received about Manu was that he had flown to Delhi by early morning flight on that fateful day. He appeared missing from Delhi airport. His face continued appearing in my memory all the time. He was still non-traceable. With every elapsed day, agitation in my mind continued rising. All impossible probabilities filled in my mind. I dwarfed in trepidations. Only solace I had that, Prem did not harm him. He had no chance to harm him. Physically he was weak, but mentally he was strong. He would never do any nuisance, I comforted myself. Definitely he had deserted me. Where could he go? One possible place was Delhi, in his home and the other one could be US. In that case, he would be traced shortly by security officer.


Prem would be punished for his deeds. He deserved so. Why should I be escaped? I asked myself. I was also not a saint. I had a record of my own misdeeds against Manu. One day, I expressed my desire to Gowri. “I must accept my punishment. I want to surrender to security officer and confess my crime committed against him.”


She put down my proposal immediately. Promptly she opposed in assertive voice, “Never ever think that way. If anybody has any complain against you, he is Manuda. Nobody except him has any right to punish you. Whatever I know about him, he has forgiven you.” I was not worried for his forgiveness. He would definitely forgive. I was worried for his safe return. I was worried on consciences.


“Manu is not going to come back. No man in this world will forgive similar treatment received from his wife.” Since when I am considering Manu as a man I wondered.  Did I ever consider him as a man? I immersed into my thoughts. What Gowri said did not reach my brain. 


Within 15 days of Manu’s departure, two incidents had drained all my energy of living. Since Manu left and I was raaped, I did not dare to call my parents and in-laws. I thought of calling them many times but abandoned at last moment. “What should I tell them? What will I tell about Manu, when asked? There was no question of hiding any more.  Information will reach to them some day. “ I was anxiously waiting in trepidation for the inevitable. I was avoiding all incoming calls from them. I knew, I had to face the truth. I was delaying the inevitable.


The first blow was from my parents. One day afternoon, I got a call from my mother from an unknown number. It was not unexpected.  My mother did not scold me. She did not use any filthy language. She even did not spare a single word on Manu’s whereabouts.  They knew everything.  The information definitely had reached to them. How I didn’t know.


She took hardly two minutes. Message was very clear. I have been denounced by my parents and I should never try to contact them. I was dead for all practical purposes, as per my parents were concerned.  They even censured me from performing their last rights!


Next blow was from my in-laws. It was a Sunday morning, I and Gowri was sitting on the sofa discussing about our future course of actions. Mostly Gowri spoke and I listened.  Sound of calling bell distracted our discussion. We were not expecting any guest on Sundays. A few times security officer had called on us to probe the case. But they were always on weekdays.  Gowri got up to open the door. Before I could get up from my seat, my in-laws were inside. My mother in-law kneeled before me, whereas, my father in-law stood nearby in statue.


She wanted to touch my feet. Somehow, I managed to hold her hands. She was in full tears, ”I don’t blame you. I don’t know what is right or wrong.  I only know that, Manu loves you.  He will definitely come back to you some day. He is our only son. Please share us any information you get. We will tell him not to disturb you in future. Please do this small favour to us. Please........” She continued her fervent request. She was weeping inconsolably and so I. My father in-law helped her to get up. Holding her in tight embrace, he spoke up, “I am very sorry Kavita. If possible, pardon her. I did try my best to console her, not to disturb you. She was not listening. I had no option but to bring her here. I am sorry to hurt your feelings. Please forgive us.” Then they left. My father-in-law forced her to vacate.


I could not utter a single word. I did not stop them from going. I could not stop them. I had lost my right to stop them. They left me in utter despair. They should have thrashed me, kicked me; at least slapped me. They did not do any of that kind. They only reminded me of my responsibilities. They reminded me the consequences of the brazen acts I have done. They sought my forgiveness. My forgiveness!


It had become very difficult for me to pass time. Gowri one day suggested for taking up a job. I reluctantly accepted the idea. It was not easy to grab a job. I was lucky to crack one within two months in a software company located near to Gowri’s office. My previous job experience was helpful.  Manu’s memory kept on hunting my mind. I could find some respite while I was occupied in job. The idle time of holidays and nights were painstakingly long. Sleeping pills became part of my life. Gowri’s presence was a boon in my endeavours of sailing through my life.


Towards end of 3rd month, I was summoned to court for attending the sexual violation case. Prem did not get bail. There was nobody to stand guarantee for his bail. He was produced in the court. I saw a frail dark body standing in accused box. The cast right hand was hanging freely indicating its lifelessness. The handsome and hot-blooded man who tormented me for days was missing. Seeing me, Prem gestured seeking forgiveness. I got repugnance just looking at the man who had captivated my drug addicted body with his magnificent prowess for days together incessantly. I averted my look from him.


Four months had passed since my sexual violation. I had accustomed to office life for past one month. The experience of my two years job had been very handy. Life was moving to normalcy except nights and holidays. Every moment I would think of Manu would phone me next moment. Next moment did never realize. Every night in bed, I would expect for a surprise on next day morning. Next day morning never arrived with a sound of a calling bell. I did try my best to get occupied in job as much as possible. More occupation made my life simpler.


Then it happened one day. Gowri was out on a visit to hometown only to come back on Wednesday morning.  It was Sunday night and I was preparing for hitting bed early when calling bell rang. I opened the door to discover a young beautiful woman of my age. She was dressed in a beautiful, attractive light blue chiffon sari. She could easily stand different among a group of beautiful women. She was smiling. Before I could ask her whereabouts, Manu immersed from nowhere. Momentarily, my heart jumped in joy and happiness. I wanted to hug him and cry. Physical presence of another woman in between stopped me reacting. I kept on looking at them in bewilderment forgetting to call them inside.


Presently, Manu stepped ahead of her, “Kavita, she is Doctor Jaya.” then added after a short pause, “My friend. She will stay here for a few days.” Manu introduced her.

“Jaya, she is Kavita.” Manu did not introduce me as his wife. He addressed me as ‘Kavita’ instead of ‘Kavi’, which he normally does.


‘Does he also denounce me?’ I thought.  I welcomed them in with a forced smile. They came in and settled on double-seater sofa, seating side by side. I could see their bodies touching to each other. Jaya was holding his right arm, her left breast was pressing against his arm and her right hand was on his thigh slowly caressing.   Did I feel jealous, I don’t know. I realized the feelings Manu had to endure in similar situations when Prem had fondled me in his presence and I meekly accepted his advances. That day Manu did not object Prem’s advances. On this day, I could not object Jaya’s uncouth behaviour as Manu had indirect acceptance on her actions. It was a repeat of earlier incidents with reversing of roles. That day Manu was in receiving end defeated by a more masculine man physically stronger than him. This day I was in receiving end defeated by a woman superior to me in education and physical beauty.  Manu was not looking at me.  He was busy in whispering conversation with Jaya to which Jaya appeared to be jovial. I saw her planting a deep kiss to Manu’s cheek. To easy out situation, I offered dinner.  She declined my offer for diner as they already had food. I offered for Tea or coffee.  


Jaya was prompt, “I don’t take tea or coffee in night. However, I am habituated for bed coffee in the morning, if you don’t mind.”

She was Manu’s guest, our guest. I accepted. “No problem. I will serve you coffee in your bed tomorrow morning.” I smiled happily. I was looking forward meeting Manu in privacy. I excused myself to make her bed ready in the guest bedroom. I wanted her to stop her display as early as possible. I finished the arrangement as quickly as possible and returned to hall.  I addressed Jaya, “You must be tired now. Come, I will show your room.” I wanted her to shift to bedroom at the earliest to allow me privacy with my husband.

Jaya immediately got up to follow me. I guided her to the guest bedroom. Manu was following us behind with the travel bag.  Before entering room, Jaya made space for Manu and gestured him to enter.  He entered the room first with the travel bag.

She turned to face me and smiled, “Thank you Kavita for nice hospitality.  See you tomorrow with hot coffee mug. Good night.” Before I could response, she turned to enter the room and closed the door from inside.


I stood like a stone. “My husband is behind the closed door with Jaya in same room. He will be sleeping with Jaya on the bed I have just prepared! I have been fooled. Manu is here with Jaya to rub salt in my eyes. He is here to revenge on me. He lied to me. Jaya is her girlfriend not friend. They are in relationship. Jaya closed the door with Manu without any hesitation. She must be habituated of doing same for quite some time. She must be sleeping with Manu for long time. “. Slowly I retracted to sofa.


I could not believe myself.  “Manu, my husband has planned to revenge. He has come with his girlfriend to teach me a lesson, to show me my position. I deserved this.” I thought.  “Manu did not introduce me as his wife. So, Jaya may not be knowing my relationship with Manu. But how that can be? In that case, he would not have brought her here. Are they planning for marriage or already married? Are they already in physical relationship? Will they have sex here? I chided myself. Manu will not do that. Manu can’t do that. Manu cannot have sex with another woman in my presence. But why not?   If I could sleep with Prem night after night in his presence, what’s wrong with him sleeping with another woman?  He is sober. At least he did not keep door open to fuck Jaya, his woman!”


I waited for some time looking at their closed door. Dejected, finally decided to sleep. When I was about to enter my room after switching off the lights, I heard some sort of giggle from their room. I tiptoed near to guest bedroom. A thin line of light was present at floor level below the door. I pressed my ear in the wood. There was no indication of any sound or movement. I was about to turn, when I heard again. Yes, it was clear; I heard a giggle from Jaya, “Ohhhh..  Manuuuu,  you will spoil my blouse. Uuhhuuhhh….Ahhhaa...softly please” My husband was disrobing another woman. He was playing with another woman’s body. I pressed my ear further. Sound of some footsteps and bed cracking followed.


some slurping followed by intense moaning caught my attention. Jaya was moaning, "Aaaaaahhhhh!!!Aaaaaaahhh!!! Uuhhhhhhhh....!!! YessssManu!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! You are superb, Aaaaaahhhhh!!!Aaaaaaahhh!!! I love this, Aaaaahhhh!! Don't stop, Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!Manuuuu...Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!..suck me.. Uuhhhhhhhh..kill me….. Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!... "

Manu was playing with her pussy. He was doing cunnilingual to his woman. Manu was pleasuring his woman. Manu was making love to Jaya. I should have been there.  

She was moaning in pleasure. Manu was having sex with Jaya. My husband was pleasuring Jaya while I, his wife was standing outside closed door, listening to their carnal enjoyment. “Is Jaya fully naked? Manu disrobed her or she undressed herself? Manu cannot. Jaya must have undressed herself to seduce him. She is a bitch, a horny bitch in heat.”

As if to prove me correct, right at that time I heard Manu, “Get on your fours bitch!” immediately followed by a female in a cross-sounding voice, "Mmmmm...Manu Please…..Mmmmm ........Not now please...."

“You bitch, how dare you?” followed with Sound of a slaps one after another.

“Ough.........  slow .....please..Ough......... please stop  Oughhhhhhh…sorry…I will….. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh…...don’t hit... please……..Uuhhhhhhhh…..be soft on them…..Uuhhhhhhhh...  Don’t torture. Uuhhhhhhhh..Don’t suck so hard Ahhhhhhh..Please don’t bite there.. Uuhhhhhhhh.. pleaseee…… Uuhhhhhhhh. Leave me. ...Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!.  .I will...Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!..please stop...”


It was so clear. Manu was punishing his woman for disobeying him.  He was mauling and chewing her boobs as punishment. It was a shock for me. Manu was raaping Jaya. He was raaping his woman. He was never like that. He was soft and caring. He had changed. He had learnt from Prem. He had seen Prem sexually dominating me. He had seen Prem ravaging my body. I had never objected. Manu thought, I had enjoyed. I only made arrangement for light for his clear view of our fornication.


I clearly remembered our conversation over phone on that day.

Over some argument I said, "I never said that, Manu. Don't put words in my mouth, OK?"

He spat back, "Yeah, I can't put words in your mouth, but your Prem can put stuff in your mouth, right?"

I gasped on the revelation. He had seen me giving my head to Prem. Deeply embarrassed, after a few moments, I forced a giggle and said, "Have you been watching, Manu?"

He whispered, "Yes, Kavi, I have. At times."

I continued as face saving, "Good for you, Manu. Maybe you can learn something."

I did not stop there. I wanted to embarrass him to overcome my embarrassment. I twisted further, "Do you want me to leave the bedside light on, Manu? So you can watch better?"

Bedside lamp continued to be part during our fornication. I did not mean him to observe. But he could not be blamed. I was the main culprit behind his changed behaviour. I was only responsible for his rapist behaviour. I wanted to shout. I wanted to caution Manu to control. What he was doing to Jaya was not right. He was not making love to her. It was not love making. It was raape. She was not enjoying.
 
Nothing came out of my mouth. I silently absorbed the ill effect of my irresponsible attitude.

All remained quiet inside except some rustling and bustling.

“Here comes the bitch.....” with sounds of slapping and sharp moaning by Jaya, "Aaaaaahhhhh!!! Aaaaaaahhh!!! Aaaaaaahhh!!!  Slowly please Manu!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! God, I love this, Aaaaahhhh!! Don't stop, Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!"

“She is on four.   Definitely she is on four now. He is slapping her round ass while fucking her from behind. “

I heard Manu's voice, hoarse, “What you are to me?”

She was not loud but clear enough, “Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!..Your bitch!!!!!!! Aaahhhhh! Don't stop! Your mistress Aaahhhhh!!... Don't stop! Aaahhhhh!!!!....Please don’t pull out.  Aaahhhhh!!!!...Please shove it in me, please....”

Manu growled, “Tell clearly, what you are to me?”

“Aaaahhhhhhhh…… Your whore!! Shove it in! Please… OhhhUhhh..  please. Uhhhhhhhhhhh..slow please . Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!...I am your personal whore!! Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!...”

“What do you want from me?”

“Fuck me, Manu, Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!fuck your whore. Aaaaaahhhhhhh!! Make me pregnant!!!!“

And at that time, I heard a grunt from Manu, and the loudest moan I had heard from Jaya, "Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I love you Manu!!!!"
And then softer moans from her, "Aaaaaaaaahhhh!! Manu!!!"

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!"

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!"

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh!! Manu!!!"

And then Manu's rasping voice rang out, "Here it comes bitch!"

And then loudly again from Jaya, "Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"


 
 
 
All quiet for some time. They were enjoying their post-orgasmic bliss. Then I heard Jaya giggle, “Now stop teasing your squirrel. Allow her rest.”

 
Manu’s voice didn’t reach my ears. I heard Jaya moan, “Uhhuuuuu! Stop squeezing your sparrows. Don’t wake them up tonight.  Let them sleep.”

 
After a pregnant pause I heard Jaya giggle again, “You idiot! I can’t produce any milk now. First make me pregnant to get fresh milk.”

 
‘Squirrel and sparrows. Manu got nickname for Jaya’s assets!  So romantic! She is already dreaming of getting pregnant by Manu.’ Their post coital pillow talks put cold water on all my hopes I had.

 
I retired to bed. Manu had recovered of his medical problems.  He could pleasure a woman in bed to her orgasm with his organ! Dr. Preethi was correct. I had turned mess of everything. Manu had medical problems. I knew it, he knew it. He had suggested for medical examination & treatment. I did not agree on foolish assumptions. Jaya could make him recover. Within a span of four months Jaya could transform him into a MAN what I failed to achieve in four years. She deserved him better. I had only inflicted pain. I had robbed him off his life; she had given him a life! Clearly, I had lost my husband to another woman. I had made it to happen.


 
 
***
 
 

Next day morning I prepared two cups coffee and settled in the serving tray. A known psychological mystery got solved. For a long time, I searched for the reasons for Manu serving coffee to us in similar situations. He was aware of his impending humiliation. He could have avoided, but did not. His cuckoldry faintly cooked in my mind.  I got the answer on this day facing with similar situations. I had already lost my rights over my husband. There was no compulsion for me to serve coffee to them in their bedroom. Nobody forced me to do so. I was not happy to serve them. Rather some sort of extreme dejection was continuously poking me not to relent. It was certain, a great humiliation was waiting for me to be revealed. Still I obliged. Another force unknown to me was pulling me towards their bedroom. I could not overcome that force; I could not deny that force. Is it love? Was it that love which forced Manu accepts his utter humiliation? That day, he was forced by me to submit. This day, I was being forced by self. Mentally, I prepared myself for the humiliating show.


 
I stood with two cups coffee in the threshold of their bedroom.  The door was open in a slit with a clear visibility of bed. I peeped inside defeating all civil and moral norms.  Manu was lying in sideways on his left facing to the wall away from my sight. Jaya was hugging him from back, her right leg supporting on Manu. Both were naked above hip, could be naked below also. A bed sheet was covering them below hip level. Her face buried deep in the neck portion of Manu. In morning light, I could clearly see the outline of her torso. The smooth flawless curve veered smoothly into a deep depression before suddenly rising to match her wide hip. She could measure 34-26 36 easily.  They both could be sleeping. Hesitantly, I knocked the door.  She lifted her face and looked at the door and then to her body. She softly kissed Manu on his neck and back before taking her leg off him.


 
I heard her saying, “Just a minute Kavita.”

 
She pulled the bedsheet to cover her before turning and moved to the other side of the bed. To my relief, Manu was not naked, he was on shorts. Jaya lifted herself against the headboard and I heard her, “Please come in.”

 
I pushed the door to enter.

 
It was a replica of what I did to Manu. No, it was more than that. Those days, Manu was serving while I was in bed with Prem. Presently, I was serving while Manu was in bed; Jaya appeared to be in her complete nakedness under bed sheet.   Her sari, petticoat, blouse, bra all scattered all over the floor clearly indicating what followed after Jaya closed the door last night. I could clearly observe bite marks on her bare shoulder and uncovered portion of her torso. ‘Bitch!’, she had drained Manu last night!

 
“Good morning Kavita.” She wished me while taking her coffee.

“Morning!” I indicated her to wake up Manu for his coffee.

Jaya shipped her coffee, “Ah!!!!, Your coffee is marvellous Kavita. He is not going to get up now. Early morning, he woke up with a tent. He just slept half an hour back after I relieved him. Since then my jaws are paining.  Why are you standing Kavita? Please be seated.” She indicated me the other side of the bed.

 
I put my face down listening to her open acceptance of carnal pleasures. Clearly, she had given her head to him in the morning. Embarrassingly, I objected, “You continue. I have some other works.”

 
“Come on Kavita. I can help you in your morning activities. Let’s have coffee together.  Any way Manu is not going to wake up now. You can drink his coffee. However, if you dislike my company in that case....”

 
I objected vehemently, “No no, not that.”

 
I had a respite. I had forced Manu drinking coffee standing right beside me. I was saved of that embarrassment. I was not forced to stand. Now, I mentally prepared myself for doing laundry. As per script, laundry would surely follow. She would surely ask me to collect her dresses from floor for cleaning. She was holding saucer in left hand while she took cup in right hand. We silently drank our coffee. Mostly I averted her sight by looking at the floor. Every time, her discarded bra caught my attention. Whenever my sight fell on her, a mysterious smile appeared on her face. She appeared to be enjoying my plight. After finishing her coffee, Jaya leaned forward to hand over her cup & saucer. Bed sheet slipped uncovering her breasts as she leaned forward. Her both hands engaged and extended, she could not cover herself. I got awestruck, stared at her naked beauty. His sparrows frowned at my embarrassing eyes. They did not sag. They were perfect, slightly conical in shape. Dark brown nipples at the middle of brownish areolae stood erect.  Red marks were prominent on her perfect round whitish breast.  She proudly displayed red patches all over on both the breasts, an indication of torturous pleasure.
 

 
My memory refreshed with her last night moaning, “Ough.........  slow ..... please...Uuhhhhhhhh.... be soft on them Uuhhhhhhhh...  Don’t torture. Uuhhhhhhhh..Don’t suck so hard Ahhhhhhh..Please don’t bite them.. Uuhhhhhhhh.. please   Uuhhhhhhhh. Leave them.... Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!.” Manu was playing with them! He was pleasuring Jaya playing with her assets! Her assets! My assets! His sparrows!

 
 
She saw me staring at her uncovered assets. She was embarrassed.  She immediately, placed the cup & saucer on the bed, “Sorry Kavita!”  and quickly covered her breast with a shy proud smile. To avert my discomfiture, I quickly collected empty cup & saucer before departing.
 





****

[manasi]

Great manasi....  This update twisted the incidents in reverse....
But i don't think....  This will be a role play act or performance. There is no need to make kavita realize her sins,  because she had gone so far beyond the limits of returning and reunion to start a family.

I'm agree with guruji to forgive kavita...  But not in the favour of reunion... Manu can go ahead in his family life with jaya or someone else....  Leaving kavita behind to let her decide her future life

Eagerly waiting for next update

I think Kavita need to realize her mistakes. Otherwise she will never confess her minds and we will never be able to understands her motive behind her enigmatic behavior.

I look forward for next update by 17th Nov

[manasi]

Update please

Please remember your 17 Nov promise.

waiting eagerly for today's update

Sorry for keeping you all waiting.  Some internet issue had forced me to abandon my earlier efforts.

[manasi]

32.2

Kavita


 
While I was busy preparing breakfast, deeply immersed in my distress, Jaya joined to help me.

“Kavita, how do I look?”
 
I looked at her. It was a shock! She was wearing a blue one-piece nighty. This nighty came up to just above her thighs. It was sleeveless, and rested on her by two shoulder-straps, this one was lacy, and translucent at places. She was not wearing bra, could be panty less also. Her nipples made proud impression of their presence above two perfect cones. ‘B’ cup, I was sure. This nighty was very similar to the one I had worn on Friday, Gowri made her second visit. I kept on looking at her in bewilderment, unblinking.
 

Jaya waked me up, “Last night I found it; your husband told me that you won’t like me wearing this. He told me that you hate others using your dresses. I thought, he was joking. Sorry Kavita wearing your nighty without taking your permission. OK, I will remove it. Sorry Kavita”
 
She gestured to remove it right there in front of me.
 
I stopped her, “No Jaya, it’s OK. I didn’t mind you using my clothes.”
 
Joyfully she admired, “Thank you Kavita. I knew you are broad minded. You don’t care for silly matters.” Then after a pause she asked again, “Now tell me, am I looking sexy?”
 
I had no option but to accept. I said, “Yeah, you are looking hot” with a pause I added, “and sexy.” Truly she was looking sexy.
 
Jovially she kissed my cheek, “Thank you. “ Her soft melons brushed in my arms.
 

She started praising me for my sense of fashion and beauty. “You have a nice figure. No complain on Indian outfits, but I think western dresses will fit you well. You will look smart and confident. In Delhi, young women prefer a special type of skirt-blouse combination in office now-a-days, mostly in software companies. It is a new and bold selection for fashionable minds. The outfit is a bit body hugging and slightly revealing.  Moving around public places may attract crowd. If you can manage private transport, it is very attractive.You know. It may help you in boosting career and self-confidence. I think I measure same as you. I can send you some of my choices, if you are interested. Anyway, Prem has nice choices.”
 
 

There was no ambiguity. She knew about Prem. She knew everything! She was appreciating my figure profusely and how beautiful I would look in western dress. Instinctively, I pulled my sari to cover me more. Taking cue, she flirted, “I am jealous of what you are hiding under sari-blouse. Even being a woman, I am obsessed, Prem can’t be blamed.  Use level 1 push up bra with skirt blouse combination and I guarantee, men won’t be able to take off their eyes off you.”
 
 

I pulled my sari further in humiliation. Manu must have told her about my obscene dressing. ‘How much does she know?’ I could only guess. I wanted to evaporate. I wanted to become ‘Sita’.
 
 

I think she sensed my mental state as she changed her topic. She asked my timing for job. Seeing at her watch, she suddenly jumped, “Kavita, I think you should move now, otherwise you will be late for office. I will take care from here.” She brushed aside all my protest. When I mentioned about lunch, she put me into embarrassment, “Don’t worry Kavita, you go ahead leaving it on me. I know little cooking and will not keep your husband starving.” She paused and added, “You know very well, unlike Prem, your husband also is apt in cooking. He has spent lot of hours in kitchen.” She did not hide the fact that she knows everything.  I felt dwarf in humiliation.
 
 

Later Jaya alone joined me on breakfast table. I could not ask the reason for Manu not coming out for breakfast.  Was he still sleeping? When I was about to exit apartment door, Jaya proposed to prepare dinner considering it will be exhaustive for me after full day in office. I meekly protested, “You are my guest. It would my pleasure to serve you.” Luckily, she agreed for joint service.
 
Just before leaving, Jaya humiliated me again.
 
She whispered mischievously, “Kavita, do you have extra milk in house?  Otherwise I have to fetch it.“
 
I got surprised in her question, “What will you do with extra milk? Sufficient milk is there for coffee.”
 
She convulsed in deep laughing, “Not for coffee. Now a days, your husband drinks milk. He SQUEEZES me every day for MY MILK. “ Momentarily, I glanced at her well-shaped breasts. She was proudly displaying her assets. The nipples were more distinctly visible under the semi-transparent fabrics, as she erupted into convulsions with her breasts swinging in rhythms. She continued nonchalantly, “He thinks, it will be unadulterated and pure. He does not understand that I cannot produce MILK now. He is so obsessed about them! You know, how he enjoys playing with them.”
 

Last night incidents surfaced in my memory. She was asking Manu to make her pregnant, so that she can feed him fresh milk directly from source.  I promptly took leave to avert my embarrassment.
 
 
***
 
 
In the office, my mind kept on spinning through the incidents since yesterday night. “The only conclusion I could draw, I have lost my husband. In my childhood, I had seen, sea never keeps anything with her. She returns back everything you throw at her. This is true for life also. All the humiliations I aimed at Manu are returning back. I must show courage to accept. I loved him also. Will I get back my love also some day?” I was desperate in finding a way out to meet Manu in isolation.
 

I could not make definite conclusion about Jaya’s knowledge regarding Prem. In the morning while serving coffee and then after, I was sure she knew everything. Manu must have shared everything with her. My only confusion was whether she knew about my sexual violation by Prem? However, she did not give any definite hint. Most probably she did not.
 

Evening I purchased Paneer for preparing a special dish for Manu. I had surprise waiting for me in house.
 
 
Jaya was dressed into the ‘black mini-skirt’ and ‘knotted’ blouse outfit. The same outfit I wore to give oil massage to Prem. I saw my reflection in Jaya. The mini-skirt only came down to the middle of her slender fair thighs. The top was tied with a knot just under her breasts, and didn't come down anywhere close to where her skirt started. The top 'ended' about 2 inches above her belly button and she was wearing her mini-skirt an inch below her belly button, leaving fully exposed her curvy belly and navel region. She was looking sexy but obscene. She was looking seductive. I had been on same dress only a few months back. That day Prem had cherished my body, he had enjoyed my sexy seductive figure. Manu was watching haplessly. Today, Manu had enjoyed and cherished Jaya’s figure in same sexy outfit. Did he fuck her on this outfit? She could be without panty; I was curious to know. I was becoming obsessed on Jaya more and more! Opportunity arrived shortly for me to ascertain. She offered to clean the cookware. She leaned over kitchen sink.  I saw her ass crack and Oh Shit! She was not wearing a panty.
 

 
We had dinner together. Jaya opened discussion from the point we left in the morning. She continued with my present job, office timings, travelling times etc, tactfully avoiding dressing codes, fashions etc. I truthfully answered all her questions. The discussion continued more and more on job and my official responsibilities. No personal topics figured in our discussion. Prem did not appear once. Manu did not join in our discussion.  He was behaving as a stranger. Mostly Jaya was asking and I answering.
 

 
Manu quickly finished food and hastily returned to room without eating properly. He seemed lost interest in my preparations. He averted looking at my eyes. Jaya joined me in a post dinner discussion.  Her bitchiness resurfaced again.  She started with her present dress.
 
“Prem purchased this for you. Am I correct Kavita?”
 
She knew it. Manu had shared every detail with her. I simply nodded.
 
She grinned, “He is a gem. Prem has a good idea of what clothes women look good in. You must have looked damn sexy in this outfit. Can you share his contact Kavita? I will get some tips from him.”
 
She was making mockery of me. She knew very well where Prem was presently. Drama queen bitch!
 
She continued, “Oh! Kavita don’t worry. I will not snatch him from you.” She continued grinning at her own joke.
 
She stopped suddenly and spoke guardedly, “I must accept one thing. Every man should learn from him. He knows how to transforms women into bitches and sluts.”
 
I became red instantaneously. I looked down to avert her eyes.
 
She got up, “Good night Kavita. your husband must be impatiently waiting for me.” She continued adding extra weight on her tone, “Now, I have to change into a sari.”
 
I also got up and looked at her questing, “Sari! Are you going out now?”
 
Her face filled in a naughty smile. She giggled before reaching near me and whispered, “Nope! It’s your husband. He enjoys disrobing me off sari. You also must have experienced this. Good night!” She turned and proceeded to her room. Soon the guest room door closed from inside.
 
 
 
Manu had no such fantasy. She was playing with my mind. She is showing off her intimacy with Manu!  It could be her fantasy, she enjoyed being disrobed off sari and putting the onus on Manu. I must find the truth. I fought with my mind and after ten minutes, tiptoed again to the closed door. I could hear some faint conversation. I wanted to listen. I wanted to assure myself.  I was about to press my ear, the door opened. Jaya was standing before me.
 
 
I fumbled. Even before she asked anything, I stammered, “Actually, I came to ask if you want coffee in morning.” Then with after thought I added as explanation, “I did not know your phone no.”
 
Jaya smiled, “This is called telepathy. I was about to change into sari when I remembered to remind you. Two cups Kavita, OK?”
 
I looked at her examining. She was in the middle of changing dress. She had put on white petticoat and a light blue blouse. She had sari light pink transparent chiffon one loosely placed over her shoulder covering her from front. The twin projections suggested for push up bra underneath her blouse.
 
 She must have seen me gazing at her. She followed my pupils and smiled mystically, “Why are you standing outside? Please come in.”
 
On being caught I turned red. I wanted to escape at the earliest to hide my embarrassment. I could not ask why two cups? Quickly, I pronounced, “Thank you Jaya. I should not disturb you now. Take rest. Good night.”
 
Jaya teased, “Rest? That is only after midnight. Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”
 
I ignored her mocking with a forced smile, “Good night Jaya.” I turned to walk back.
 
I heard Jaya’s tinkle, “Good night Kavita.” Then closing sound of the door. I did not dare to look back.
 
 

 
I retired to bed after switching off the lights. Sleep evaded my eyes.  What Jaya said? ‘Manu enjoys disrobing sari.’ I had no knowledge of such fantasy of him. What were his fantasies? I could not remember. He had not shared any of his fantasies with me. Neither did I. He definitely had fantasies. He purchased that naughty nighty for me. Painfully, I acknowledged that I had never encouraged him to open up. He was so embarrassed and occupied with his performance issues; he must have suppressed all his natural feelings.  Jaya could help him recover from his performances issues. Jaya could bring him out from his shell.  He must be enjoying disrobing sari. She did not lie to me. Otherwise, why should she change into a sari at the dead of night? His romantic landscape blossomed at the magic touch of Jaya.  I had failed to ignite his romanticism, Jaya could. She could transform him within a span of three months which I failed to achieve in four years. I have heard him making love to Jaya, play with her assets, his squirrel and sparrows.  I had no such derivations to connect with him. A pang of jealousy was filling my mind. I was getting restless.  A strong magnetic force was pulling me towards adjacent room. The visual images of ongoing activities were making me weak. Finally, I accepted my defeat. I prepared myself for another session of eavesdropping.   
 
 
 
I was standing on the threshold of closed doors. I could trace light below the door. I was about to press my ear; a sudden fear caught my mind. ‘If they open the door for some reason, I will be caught. They will find me eavesdropping.  A few minutes earlier I have been spared. I cannot take another risk. I can’t afford to be caught once more.  What explanation could I provide? They would laugh on me.’
 

I retreated silently. I came back to sofa. I could not help but staring at their closed door. Sitting in darkness, I fixed my sight on the thin light coming out at the bottom of the closed door. Her words reverberated in my brain again, again and again, “Nope! It’s your husband. He enjoys disrobing me off sari.”  I concentrated hard imagining the events could follow in the closed room.
 
 
Yes, I could see everything that was happening in the room. I could listen to everything.
 
 
Jaya was standing at the middle of the space, fully clothed in sari. Manu was sitting on the bed.  He was inspecting her beauty mesmerised. I followed his eye movement. He made a quick inspection from her head to toe. Satisfied on her overall appearance, he smiled.  Her sari was a light pink transparent Chiffon one wrapped over white petticoat. The sari was mostly invisible except on her petticoat and at pleats. The border was thick and translucent with floral prints designed in pink and white flowers. She was wearing a semi-transparent blouse deep cut in light blue colour. The presence of push up bra highlighted her beauty. She was looking beautiful.
 
 
Presently he progressed on detailed inspection of her beauty.
 
 
He started from her toe. Taking clue from his eyes, she leaned left shifting her weight on left leg slightly projecting her right foot forward. She lifted her petticoat just enough to expose her feet. A beautiful anklet adorned her foot. To ensure his attention, she lifted her right foot to play the bell in rhythm. She became straight again.  His eyes started climbing up slowly stopped at her belly button. Light was reflecting from a small glittering diamond button. Three uneven chain hanged from there ended with three glittering stars. Sari was tied well below her naval. I could see the beautiful deep depression amidst flat smooth skin of her flat tummy.  Her sari border partially obstructed the view of the valley. Half the portion was under shade making a hue. The bright light of the bulb was playing a hide and seek game with movement of sari edge by blow of air. The pinkish shade mixed with her medium beige skin colour effected reddish tone.
 
 

He lifted and fixed his sight at her breast line. Her designer blouse was deep ‘V’ cut with low neckline reached just below breast leaving a vast valley for exploration. She had wrapped her sari tightly over her breast making hillocks prominent. Top sari border edge followed the top point of right cone finishing on the left shoulder. The other side border of her sari rolled over her left cone.  I could see her deep cleavage prominently justifying her wearing a push up bra. She was rolling the sari end on her finger, wrapping and unwrapping in anticipation.  She glanced at him oblique with a naughty shy smile. She turned a little to her right and bent slightly to the front. Side view of her left breast opened up to Manu in its full glory. She took time to adjust her sari top line over her right breast slightly covering it more. She was rubbing her right toe on the floor.
 

 
Manu was mesmerized at her beauty. He was unable to take a break from her twin peaks. I took a round to appreciate her from all angles.  I reached her behind.  Her hair finished at bra strap hanging freely. The blouse emerging from smooth shoulder descended in ‘U’ turns joined together to hide the presence of her bra strap. I could see through her transparent sari a deep undulation in the form a shallow canal emerged at the center of her blouse to descend only to hide behind her petticoat.  The thin waist suddenly expanded and lost behind her petticoat hiding her bum.
 
 

I further progressed to her front again. This time I looked at her face. She had a nose pin diamond on her left nose. Two dangling earrings elongated her slightly oval shaped face. I could locate the presence of glossy lipstick of reddish pink on her luscious lips. Upper lip had cupid shape at the middle. A mole at left bottom corner of lower lip enhanced her beauty. A small dimple appeared on her cheek with every smile she had. A fine twisted simple gold chain on her neck accentuated her beauty. Her eyes were natural without any presence of any makeup. The deep black pupil and black eyebrow naturally enhanced her attractiveness. I kept on looking at her beauty thinking her prized possessions. Satisfied I looked back to check present activities of Manu.
 
 

 
Manu briefly looked up to gaze at her eyes before lowering his vision on her breast again. He slowly disembarked frombed without losing his contact on her breast. He was bare except short in lower half. I could clearly observe the tent at the middle on his short. Seeing him advancing, she shyly lowered her face. Manu reached near her. He slowly lifted her face with his fore finger placing below her chin. They looked at each other’s eyes, deep. Manu’s hand slowly clasped her head from behind. He pulled her to him and planted a deep kiss on her lips. He was chewing her lips. Jaya’s hand reached behind Manu’s head and she lifted herself on her toes to compensate little height gap. The passionate kissing continued never ending. Manu inserted his tongue in her. She allowed more access for him to play with her tongue.
 
 

 
Then Manu withdrew. He smiled looking at her eyes. She had a satisfying shy smile.  Her hands released his head grip. She looked at him once and immediately lowered her face.  Manu smiled and lowered himself over her breasts slightly bending. He placed his hands over her ass and quizzed lightly. She closed her eyes and let out a light moan. “Aahhhhhh”.  While continuing squeezing her ass, he kissed lightly both breasts alternatively. Slowly he increased his pressure on hands and mouth. He was shifting from one hill top to other in rapid space. Her pallu slipped and rested on her left hand uncovering the hillocks. She was shivering. She clasped his head with right hand to force him on her right. Her left hand searched for his right hand allowing the pallu to fall on ground. She pulled his right hand from her ass and guided it to her left breast. She encouraged Manu to maul her hillocks. She was being fondled on her both breasts simultaneously with mouth and hand. Soft moans continued gushing out of her mouth, “Oh! Manuuuuu...Aahhhhhh..”
 
 
 
Manu was feeling discomfiture in awkward bending position.  He suddenly stood erect and kissed her passionately and then pressed her down over her shoulder.  She smiled and went down on her knees.  She kissed him on the tip of tent.  She smiled and rubbed him with her hands a few times and slowly pulled his short down.  He was standing erect with his medium sized tool. Without touching by hand Jaya touched the tip with her eyes alternatively as if worshiping.  Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up for his approval. He nodded his head. She smiled shyly. She passionately looked at the majestic tool swaying slowly up-down. Slowly her tongue touched the tip to make a twitch.  Manu shivered at the touch. His penis twitched up each time Jaya’s tongue touched him. Lovingly she put her lips over it. She took two inches inside her mouth, played the tip with tongue and released immediately. She continued worshiping her property along the length with lips and tongue avoiding touching the tips. Presently she concentrated on the balls. She took them lovingly in her mouth one by one. After bathing them with her salvia, she shifted back to the shaft. Slowly she lifted it up and licked at the base. Her tongue continued upward movement with kissing and licking. On reaching near tip, she descended again alternatively licking both sides. Next it was turn of the upper side to be worshiped. She lovingly looked at his pleasure tool after completing bathing it with her salvia. She kissed again and smelled. Satisfied, she raised her height to align it to her breast. She pulled her nipples out of their confinement. Holding her breast in left hand and the shaft in right, lovingly she pressed her left nipple with the tip. Manu shivered.  Then she tossed her nipple a few times with his tool. Same treatment she granted to her right nipple also. Satisfied, she pushed her assets into their confinement and latched her lips on the shaft again. Slowly it started disappearing into her hungry worm mouth.Soon she was bobbling her head in rhythm.
 

 
Manu pulled her up catching her head on both sides. Again, they engaged in passionate kissing. His left hand holding her head while his right hand was fondling her left breast. All of a sudden, he stopped kissing and turned Jaya around. He guided his hands below her armpit to capture both breasts at a time. He was kissing and biting her neck while his meat was poking her ass crack. He was kneading her mercilessly. I could not find any resistance from her. I heard her soft moans,“Ohuuuuu…Manu,  you will spoil my blouse. UuhhuuuuAhhhaa...softly please ………Aahhhhhh ……be gentle on your sparrows”. She pushed her back on him while placing her both hands above his hands lightly pressing to encourage him to continue. Manu started gyrating his middle without showing any abetment on his finger work. Jaya continued moaning, “ Aahhaaaa….Uhhuuuu…..Manuuuu… don’t tear my blouse Uhuuuu….”
 
 

After satisfying himself, he granted her prayer. He decided removing her blouse. He turned her around and unbuttoned her blouse slowly. He discarded the blouse. Yes, she was in lacy designer push up bra. It had covered half of the hills leaving a vast uncovered portion to be cherished. It pressed her soft flesh from both sides to the centre creating a deep valley between twin hills. The hill tops were sharp in conical points. The beautiful cleavage was prominent. Next, he peeled off her sari. While removing sari tug from petticoat, he put his hand once between her legs joint. He rubbed his hand up and down above her petticoat to locate the presence of her womanhood. Jaya shivered. Every time he traced her clitoris with his index, every time she shivered in ecstasy. Soft moans continued puffing out of her mouth, “Uuhuuuuuu… Ahhhhaaaa..”
 

 
She was standing only in petticoat and lacy push up bra. She was not looking obscene; she was looking beautiful.  She had closed her eyes in anticipation. She had closed her eyes to enjoy his onslaughts. He was not interested in her womanhood. His fingers traversed to the uncoveredgradient portion of the hills to feel smoothness and softness. Satisfied, Manu replaced his hand with his tongue.  Soon, light started glittering on the wetted skin.   Jaya placed her hands behind his head. “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” She moaned in pain and forced his mouth up. Manu had bitten her soft flesh above her left breast. Blood rushed at the spot clearly indicating his art work. She looked at the spot bemused, then looked at Manu and again looked at the spot. A thin smile appeared at the corner of her face slowly covered her entire face. A satisfied look filled her face quickly converted into an embarrassed, shy one. In a bid to cover her shyness from his gaze, she pulled him on his right breast.Manu happily latched as guided, as if encouraged to continue his art work on the other side. “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” another sharp moan gasped out in female tone.  He had done again! She complained, “You brute! You are killing me Manu!” This time she pulled him up to reward with a deep lip kiss. His hands slipped over her petticoat to smoothen two round dissected soft plums.
 
 
 
She was gasping on finish of deep marathon kiss. Manu kissed her eyes repeatedly to close them. Again, he latched on her uncovered upper portion of her breast. He licked his artworks continually to erase them. She was smiling and caressing his hairs appreciating his efforts. A few light moans puffed out of her mouth.  Manu descended little by little to trace her bra line with tongue a few times. Finally, he settled for his goal. He was trying to reach her nipples with tongue only. Jaya amused in his unsuccessful attempts. She teased him further in his attempts. She pulled out her left nipple from hideout. The moment Manu’s tongue touched the bud, she pushed it inside back. She repeated a few times frustrating Manu.  After a few failed attempts, he lifted his eyes to meet her. He asked questioningly the reason for her doing so. She blinked her eyes to tease him more. He frowned at her and in a sudden move reached behindher.He cupped her both snow-capped hills from behind. He was fondling them slowly and kissing her neck. Occasionally, his hands were slipping under her bra to locate the nipples. Every twist & pinch on them was making Jaya moan, “Uuuuuuhhh..Ahhuuuuuh .“ Jaya placed her hands on Manu’s both hands encouraging him and moaned in appreciation.Manu started kneading her roughly. Jaya whispered him, “Don’t tear my bra.”. Manu smiled and reached her back to unclasp her bra.He slowly slid the shoulder satraps along her arms. She immediately covered herself with both hands lowering her eyesight.
 
 

Presently she was standing only in petticoat and bra was loosely hanging around wrists. Manu reached her front and took seat at the edge of the bed. I heard him saying, “Jaya, please remove your hands. Let me appreciate my sparrows.”
 
 
Shyly she nodded her head in negative. She moaned in lust, “Please switch off the light.”
 
He again pleaded, “Please Jaya. Years I have not seen them!”
 
She momentarily lifted her face, “You liar! What you did last night I still remember.”
 
Manu suddenly pulled her near him. She lost balance and fell on him. On Instinct her hand clutched his shoulders to stop her fall, sparrows kissed his face. Manu erupted in broad laughter.
 
She blushed and quickly regained her balance. In a mock anger she started hitting his hairy chest, “You brute! You cheater! Release me immediately.”
 
She forced her release and pretended to move. Manu was on his back foot. He touched his ears keeping his eyes on her uncovered boobs. “Please Jaya, I’m sorry.”
 
“Promise you would never do this again.”
 
Manu took his own time to repeat, “I promise I will never do this again if you...” He was smiling.
 
Jaya traced his eyesight to find her uncovered assets. She covered them immediately by hand.  In mock anger, she complained, “You uncultured brute! You swine! You.... “
 
Manu placed his hand on her mouth, “Please Jaya, I can’t help myself not looking at them. They are so beautiful! Please……”
 
“They are ugly, not beautiful. You are lying to me. You are pampering.”
 
“OK, they are ugly. Let me appreciate my ugly sparrows. Please Jaya, please. I am dying to cares them.”
 
She whispered in shyness, “First close your eyes. No more cheating.”
 

Manu closed his eyes. She inspected thoroughly to ascertain before   taking her hands off them    very slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on Manu. She covered her quickly observing Manu’s eyelids flapper. ” You are cheater.” She retreated two steps back. Manu promptly reached her to pull the string of her petticoat. Her reflex could not hold it in place. It silently fallen uncovering her below. She was not wearing panty.
 
 

On instinct, she moved her hands to cover her womanhood from the gaze of her lover. Shyly, she looked at her lover. Next moment she realized her plight. Her lover was enjoying her naked beauty. She lifted her right hand to cover her breasts leaving her left to cover her triangle. She looked at her lover and again traced his curious gaze. Unsatisfied, she moved front to close his eyes with her hands. Manu did not lose the opportunity to feast on her assets with his free hands, mouth latched on her swinging left nipple.She screamed and immediately retreated covering her vitals with her hands. Finding the discarded sari on the floor, she promptly lifted it and piled at her front loosely holding over her breast.
 
 

She stood facing Manu at a distant. She stood erect keeping body weight on right leg leaving balancing on left leg. Her hairs fallen loosely on both side of her shoulder partly covering her neck. Hands folded on elbow; she was holding the sari above her breasts. Sari was covering her front up to one third thighs, just covering her hidden treasure between her legs. Her right hip slanted more to right making a deep wrinkle on her thin waist at left. Her head lightly bend to her right and face inclined on front, she concentrated on her toes. A faint embarrassing smile adorned her face to a divine beauty.
 
She was looking beautiful!
 
 
I took a round around her to appreciate her beauty. She was not clothed and yet she was not naked. Her vital assets were covered, yet clearly visible with minimum imagination.
 

I looked at her back.A beautiful hourglass figure feasted my eyes. No, there was no comparison.


Her entire smooth back was bare. Her hair had fallen to her front leaving no obstruction on my views. Presence of her ample breast peeping through her armpit smothered my eyes.  Her bare back descended to thin waist suddenly expanded before dividing in two round dissected plums. A clear wide line of depression emerged right below her neck and descended till her thin waist. It disappeared suddenly and emerged little below in the form of a deep gorge dividing her round plums.   Two smooth legs descended to ground to support her gracefully. Her present posture gracefully accentuated her right bum.
 
 
I traversed to get view of her front.
 
 
She was standing in utter embarrassment with shy smile and face downwards, eyes fixed on her toes. She was holding her sari clamping in both hands above her breast.  Her soft tissues were smashed behind her wrist. Her hair mostly fell upon her left shoulder, some reached on her hand. The other end of the sari loosely pleated down to cover her womanhood leaving her smooth thighs uncovered. Her private was under shadow growing speculation on her beautiful triangle. She was hiding a treasure. The sari end was swinging in light breeze of overhead fan.  In rare moments,light was falling exposing her treasure momentarily. The sari ends were playing a hide & seek game with her wealth. Smooth thighs emerged behind her sari. Light was reflecting on the smooth skin.I concentrated for right opportunity to get a glimpse of her triangle. A sudden blow fluttered her sari border rewarding my imagination. There existed a deep forest at the center of the triangle. The lower tip of the triangle extended to a deep crevice between two swollen petals hid behind. A nectar drop glittered certifying her exhilarated state. I could imagine the heavenly hole waiting to be explored.  I immersed into a pang of jealousy. On cloud nine, she was waiting for her lover to invade her hidden treasure.
 
 
 
I looked back at Manu. In a dreamy oblivion, he slowly moved to the figure standing in front of him. He knelt and kissed her toes. She shivered. He continued kissing slowly progressing to the entire feet. She was shivering. Her fist loosened; hands fallen freely to her sides. The sari made a heap around her legs, partly fallen on his head covering his face.  He looked up to discover her in new attire. A pristine woman in her all nakedness was standing before him. Some reddish patches on her breast enhanced special appearance. This time she did not try to cover her up.  She simply fixed her soft gaze on her lover allowing him to enjoy her beauty.
 
 
 
Manu took time to get rid of the sari and stood up and then leaped back a few steps for a total view of the figure. A mystical quest appeared on his face. He took round around the figure to discover her more. The more he saw, the more he became passionate. Slowly he reached to the front of the figure. His trembling hands touched her face affectionately, covering completely to feel the warmth. He got energized. His fingers traced her lips and slowly moved down through. It stopped briefly above her breasts. In anticipation Jaya pressed her lower lip between teeth, closing her eyes with both hands. He avoided touching them delaying her exploration. Soon he was on his knees. The fingers continued their journey from her naval. After A few clockwise tracings around her deep depression it descended further to stop at the bush above her junction. After playing with the bushes, his fingers descended slightly to halt again.  They quivered and paused to decide. Breathtakingly, I waited for next action. Were they going to measure her slippery depth into deep darkness? 
 
 

They did not. Instead, they measured the softness above her hidden treasure. His both palms touched her thighs to appreciate smoothness while both thumbs pressed the swollen petals from both sides. His attention reached to the glittering nectar formed below. With precision he collected the nectar on his right index and brought near his inspecting eyes. It was glittering like a diamond. He cherished with his tongue and sucked not to waste traces. He dived to the source in search of more.
 
 

The thumbs pulled apart the petals slightly to expose the source, apparently to lighten the darkness inside. A deep moan escaped from Jaya’s mouth, “Aahhhhhhaaaa!” I gasped in sheer anticipation. A crevice of deep pinkish colour, one-inch length appeared to open up to half inch depth.  I leaned to peep into the depth along with Manu in excitement. They stopped exploring further frustrating my anticipation. Another drop of nectar appeared from nowhere. Manu made no mistake this time. His tongue collected the nectar at the source. Jaya moaned, “Aahhhhhhaaaaaa!”
 
 

With renewed energy, his hands started harnessing the smoothness of her inner thighs. Slowly they descended smothering her hairless skin up to her toe nails. I saw his lips touched her toes. He was worshiping the pristine woman standing in front him in gracious oblivion. Slowly, he got up on his feet again.  He scanned her face thoroughly before shifting his look on the breasts.  Slowly His hands clasped on her breast from both sides.  A little wave swung her nipples. He smiled and shifted his hands as support to her projected twin weights. He measured their weights with a little wavy movement on his fingers.The nipples reciprocated their pleasure in jovial acceptance. A pair of sparrows swung their heads inviting him for a kiss. His fingers started exploring the softness of the cone from all sides. Her jaw tightened further on her lip. Manu continued exploring slowly increasing pressure.  His thumbs very lightly touched the tip of peak. A light moan gasped out of her mouth.  He pressed them slightly and gave a little jerky to and fro motion. A deep moan erupted from her mouth, “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.”
 
 

Manu lifted his hands and looked at her closed eyed face covered by hand closely. She was breathing heavily. Her lips fluttered as her breasts heaved in light motion.  He lowered his mouth upon her swinging breast. His tongue touched her right nipple. I looked at her face. She was struggling to control her moans. After moisturising the right one his tongue continued playing with her left one. Alternatively, he continued moisturising both the nipples. They were growing before my eyes. I saw goosebumps on her areolae. Suddenly, he pressed the left nipple between his teeth. She moaned loudly, “Aahhhaaaaaaaa!.”  It was end of her resistance. In swift motion she clogged his head to press on her. Her other hand guided his right hand to her left melon while she moaned, “Manuuuuu...Aahhhaaaa.”
 
 
 
 
After sucking her from front, he turned her to play with sparrows from behind. His thumb and index fingers continued churning her nipples while she continued nonstop soft moaning closing her eyes. He guided her near to bed. Manu sat on the edge of bed and pulled Jaya near wrapping between his legs. She giggled and fed Manu her left nipple.  He started sucking while his hands started playing with her round soft bum. She took control to feed him alternatively.
 
 

I heard after a short time gap, “....Ahhhhaa.....kill me.....Uhhhhaa.. be slow ....Uahhhaa....don’t  bite ... yes .... yes  nice....Ahhhh..... Suck it .....yes  Ahhaaa... Uhhaaa not so hard” followed   with a giggle, ”give me your child  first, I will feed you my milk Uuuuuh.... slow pleaseeeeeeee...  “
 
Her soft moaning continued, “ Uhhaaaaaa... Softly pleaseeeeeeeee…..”
 
 
Exhausted, with his sweet tortures she forced his face up, “You brute! Give some rest to your sparrows.” And she locked his lips with her into a passionate kissing. On completion she whispered, “Do you know? Kavita has seen your sparrows in the morning.”
 
I could not understand what Manu said. I heard Jaya, “You were sleeping. We had coffee and then bed sheet slipped. I was not wearing bra. Your both sparrows offered a clear view. They borne a lot of your love marks. She kept ogling at them.”
 
In reply, Manu latched on his sparrows under his possession.
 
Jaya moaned, “Ahaaaaaaaaaa..Uhuuuuuuuuuu.. ..Uhuuuuhhhhhhaaaaaa.. ...Slooowwwwwww....”

After some time, I heard her again, “Nope! she did not ask. You idiot! She knows how I got red mark on them.”
 
Then some gasps with occasional soft moaning from Jaya continued. She got herself released from him and asked, “Look at them. Are they better than Kavita’s?”
 

Manu looked at her and then looked at me. His look had no life, it was vacant. He resigned, “I don’t remember. I have not touched them years, not even seen them. They are not mine! They belong to Prem. He owns her completely.”
 

I forgot the presence of Jaya. I shrilled in pain, “No Manu no, you are wrong. I’m yours, only yours. Prem had forced his ownership upon me. I have thrown him out. I have punished him. You own me, not Prem.” I opened my blouse and pushed my bra up for his inspection.”Look at them, Manu, your sparrows. They are yours. They are craving for your touch. Feal them. Make them yours, Manu.”
 
 
Raw panic was in his voice, “But if Prem comes to know? He will slap me for touching you. He claimed that he posses your everything.”
 
I lamented, “No Manu, no. He does not possess me. He lied to you. He will never come back. Believe me, I have punished him. He will never dare to touch you.”
 
Manu looked at my face disbelieving. I nodded to assure him again. His looks changed slowly.  He was getting confidence in my assurance. He started believing me.  A thin smile appeared on his face. It grew to glow his entire face. A passion was forming in his eyes. It was deepening more and more.
 
Slowly Jaya was fading from my views. I was standing in front of Manu. I could sense Manu‘s unblinking gaze on my breast.  I dropped my look on the floor in shyness.
 
 
He glanced at my face and touched my breast affectionately with trembling fingers. His fingers traced all gradients of my hills from all sides, to check the smoothness. He continued his experiment checking of their firmness, pressing and releasing alternatively. Holding both in both hands, his thumbs tweaked both the nipples. I quivered in his touch. He continued his thumbs actions and looked up. There was fresh anxiety as well as satisfaction on his face.  I could see thousand questions in his eyes. I nodded my head in assurance again and looked deep in his eyes. I slowly took his face in my hands and pulled myself on him. We engaged in deep kiss. His hands never stopped from feeling my softness. After completion of our long lips meeting, I looked at his eyes again. Miraculously, all questioned vanished from his eyes. I could see only passion and deep satisfaction in his eyes.  Affectionately, I guided his lips on my nipples. After a brief pause, he started savouring them.  He mauled them, sucked, bitten hastily not knowing what to do? I left out a deep moan in pleasure, “Aahhhhaaaaaaaa....”  His eyes met me again in confirmation. I smiled and planted a deep lip kiss to assure him again. Jovially he addressed to Jaya, “Nope, Kavita is best. She is juicy. Yours are ugly.” Jaya vanished in thin air. Manu pulled me closer and placed his lips on my soft, firm, juicy breasts. He started fondling, kneading, sucking, and biting my breast with his mouth. His hands reached my back to grope the soft flesh. I was getting mad on his all-round attack on my breasts and let out series of pleasure moans.
 
 

He disliked the hindrance of clothing. I helped him to remove my blouse and bra. Moments later, he removed my sari from tuck and pulled the thread of petticoat. They slipped exposing my naked glory in front of his clear view.  Obsessed with a rare shyness, I covered my eyes with my hands.  He lightly slapped my ass a few times continuing his mouth activities from the front. I melted in ecstasy. My hands reached his head to rumble his hairs. His loin was pocking my leg joint announcing his readiness. I was not in a better condition. I desired to be invaded by HIM. I wanted him to ravish me to his desires. He could read my mind. Next moment I shivered, his index momentarily touching my clitoris progressed further to carefully split the swollen petals.  I clinched my lower lip tightly between my jaws to suppress my loud moaning of desire.  He got up and made me lie on my back, legs folded at knee. I covered my womanhood with both hands. Manu forced my hands to go. Slowly, he spread my thighs. Slowly, very slowly he kneeled on the floor and lowered his head. I shyly covered my eyes with both hands.
 

 
There was no action. Only thing I could hear was his deep exhilarating breadths. I slipped my hands from my eyes to discover him grazing at my womanhood, his squirrel, his eyelid fixed.  He slowly parted my petals to inspect my depth. I covered my eyes in shame and complained in throaty voice, “Don’t stare like this Manu. I am feeling shy!”
 

 
In reply I felt his touch on my swollen lips. His thumbs pulled them apart opening up the crevice. Soon his tongue invaded me deep wiping out all the nectar. His tongue was vigorously active to suck me dry.His hands were asking for entry beneath my bum. I lifted myself for his help. His both hands clasped my rounded ass. Slowly his tongue traversed up, to touch my clitoris. I pressed my lower lip tightly with teeth to control my pleasure. His tongue started rolling over it in non-stop motion. I resigned to his multi prone attack and moaned in euphoric pleasure, “Uhhuuuuuuu.. ..Ahhhaaaaa...   don’t stop  Aahhaaaaaaa…eat me up  Ahhhaaaaaaaa.....” 
 
The wave of pleasure was breaking all my resistances. First time I was enjoying joy in surrendering. Manu was making me his woman.
 
 
Manu was working on my slit with his tongue, hands squeezing my ass. I had spread my leg wide open for free access of my pussy. Manu kneeling on the floor leaned over the bed and head buried between my legs joint. I started rumbling his hair in pleasure occasionally pressing his head down. I slowly closed   my thighs to grip his head. I took his hands and guided them   on my   breasts. Manu instinctively started twisting my nipples. I clasped the bed sheet in ecstasy. I started twisting my body in rhythmic pleasure. "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!  Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!"
 
He was killing me with pleasures.
 
I erupted in a very long moaning "Aaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!".
 
I was on the threshold of my orgasm; Manu lifted his head and stood on his feet.
 
I pleaded, “Please Manu. Let me come.”
 
Manu smiled and directed my attention to his tool. HE was throbbing straight on my direction. I climbed down from bed. I whispered in his ears, “HE is mine, only mine.”
 
Manu kissed me and whispered back, “HE is yours, only yours.” Then after a pause he asked, “What about my squirrel?”
 
I whispered coyly in his ears, “SHE is shedding tears for HIM.”
 
Instinctively he touched his squirrel to wipe off HER tears.
 
Within minutes I kneeled before him taking HIM inside. HE was growing bigger and bigger. I took HIM out to kiss the tip, HE twitched. I played with my tongue. HE was throbbing on every touch.
 
Affectionately, I sucked HIM. HE invaded further in ecstasy. I continued bobbling on HIM. Suddenly he pulled HIM out and lifted me.
 
Shortly, I was on my back at the edge of the bed. Manu placed a pillow below my globes. I moaned as his tool rubbed my clitoris in teasing, “Ahhhhhhaaaa!!!!!  Please Manu!!!
 
UhhuuuuuuuuuOhhuuuuuuuu..please. Uhhuuuuuuuu...don’t tease. Ahhhhhhaaaa!!!!!  Everything is yours...Aaaaaaaahhh!!   Aaaaaaaaaahhh!! Push HIM in pleaseeeee…...."
 

His throbbing tool touched between my lips. They parted to welcome HIM exploring.  HE explored one inch, paused and came out. I shivered at every touch of HIM. Again, HE parted my petals to invade me deeper, paused and came out. Again, HE tortured my clitoris. In pleasure, I cried, “Ahhaaaaaaaaaahhh ..Uhhhuuuuupleaseeee..Ahhhaaaaaaa. Kill me...Uhhuuuuuu  don’t tease. Ahhaaaaaa!!!!! Enter meeeeee...pleaseeeeeee. Ahhaaaaa!!!!!.
 

He pulled me further to the edge of the bed. I lifted my legs in air while he rammed HIM deep inside my swollen pussy. HE smoothly pierced through my slippery hole to reach the unknown depth. I shivered in pleasure gasping out a loud moan, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa......”  I gripped HIM tightly inside. His hands were mauling my breasts. I guided his mouth on my left breast. Slowly my legs clasped him around. HE started pushing in and pulling out vigorously taking me to cloud nine. Only audible sounds were my pleasure moans, “Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!   Aaaaaahhhhhhh!! “ and HIS repeated  invasion deep in ME, “Puchhh...  Puchhh....”
 
Manu was making love tome. He was fucking me. He was fucking his woman, his bitch! I was his bitch! I was happy to be his bitch, his personal whore!My husband wasmaking me his woman!!!

My body was convulsing in wave of pleasures. I was nearing orgasm.
 
I moaned loudly, “Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!."
 
 
I did not get orgasm!
 
I hugged him tightly. 
 
My hands flipped in emptiness. I searched for him wandering my hands. My hands collided to each other.

 
I opened my eyes in frustration.  It was dark. Manu was not there. I rubbed my eyes; he was not there. My eyes got adjusted in semi darkness. I was sitting on the sofa alone. I looked at me. My naked body frowned at me. I looked at the floor. My sari with petticoat was heaped near my legs. Blouse and bra were scattered at a distance. Horrifying I looked at the distant bedroom. The door was closed. There was no light visible at that floor joint. I looked back at me again. My nipples frowned at me.
 
I touched and pressed my breasts to get a feeling. It did not excite me.
 
I looked down. Slowly I touched my womanhood, it was wet. I forced two fingers slip inside. It did not excite me.
 
My trembling fingers traveled upwards. I touched my clitoris. It did not excite me.

 
The naked truth reminded me the reality. “That day Manu was excited. He wanted me. His dick was ready to invade me. I was not ready. Present day, I was ready. Manu was excited. His dick was ready. But his dick was not ready to invade me. His dick had found another pussy!”
 
 
I wanted Manu to fondle me. I wanted Manu to fuck me. I wanted Manu to lick me off. The truth was he had deserted me. My brazen attitudes had forced him to take another woman. In desperation, I inserted my fingers deep, deeper and beyond. It did not pleasure me. I cried in hopelessness. Am I getting Mad? I broke down into tears.
 
I remembered, I imagined of their love making. I got carried away thinking Manu craving for my breasts.  I was hallucinating.
 
 
 
In a hunch, I got up and I tiptoed to guest bedroom, star naked. I pressed my ear on the door. A rhythmic snore confirmed they were in deep sleep. I retreated silently.
 
I retired to my bedroom disheartened, humiliated. That bitch was taking warmth of Manu sleeping below him. I would have been in her position had I not messed up things! I broke down in tears to reduce my agony. “Manu must have spent similar nights in pain! I realized the cycle. You get back everything whatever you give.”
 
 
I tried to pleasure me again. My body did not respond to my efforts. My desperate acts caused extra pain in my mind. I could sense the free flowing of tears from my eyes.  Shower gave me much needed relief. The cold water rushed on me taking away my heat. My tears also washed away silently with the flowing water. My body cooled down leaving my agony untouched. I cried and cried till tiresome took over my conscience.
 
 
Time ticked away keeping no track. I finally took sleeping pills putting my phone on alarm. 
 
 
*****

[manasi]

Hi Manasi,

It is not look to me like a revenge of Manu it is more like a treatment of jaya to extract the truth from kavita and I am missing some points here what exposed outside world about kavita and Manu and prem relationship? after the bang incident. Kavita and manu parents reaction was a puzzle to me. Did they know about everything. I am hoping to get the answers from the future updates.

Thanks for the update.  :) :)  :) 

 The last update is big but the update contains most of it was imagination of kavita, it disappointed me.

Thanks for your valuable review.

There existed two threats for their relationship to get exposed.

Puja & Aslam and Arun. Specially Puja & Aslam being friends of Manu, other close friends would come to know. Information could travel from person to person. Arun had earlier setback on his advancement on Kavita. He could definitely be a source of information.

I did not elaborate in details considering that  post rappe exposure to their parents were obvious for following reasons.

1.  My ultimate aim is to search for motive of Kavita.

2.  I was interested only to portray the lonely life of Kavita and her mental turmoil.

Definitely, their parents had no prior information about their relationship. Post rapped, Kavita had cut off all communications to either parents. Earlier, she was only keeping either parents informed. Manu's parents lost track of him. His phone was switched off and Kavita was not lifting. Possibly, they contacted office to be informed about his resignation. Obviously, they would contact Kavita's parents. Being alerted, her parents may have visited anxiously and met Arun for being informed. Gathering additional information was not difficult.

With regard to Manu's parents, security officer may have contacted them on missing diary. Even security officer may have contacted Kavita's parents also.

So, propagation of information, I don't think was difficult.

There is no scope for me to explain above in my future chapters and thought it may be appropriate to clarify at this stage. I would be happy to clarify any other doubts, if the same is not addressed in future updates.


Now, question remains, how parents react knowing their children have done grave wrongdoings / mistakes / sins. It's difficult to predict the immediate reactions of parents. I predicted this way. It could very well be different. Nature of emotional outbursts may change with time.



I agree, I have crossed the limit on Kavita's hallucination. It had a purpose which would be clear in future updates. Only, I could make it short!


Thanks.

[manasi]

exactly......... there is no related reaction by any neither kavita's parents nor manu's

case was a hot news............. bang and murder attempt.......... culprit beaten to death by mob/public

My personal experience on rappe victims are as below.

1.  As per prevalent rules of the land, the identity of victim is kept secret from press and press is expected not to expose.
2.  In general, reaction of mob is very unpredictable. Mob characteristics are always different from individual characteristics. Mob never takes any responsibility aftermath.
3.  Womenfolks of immediate neighbours normally find fault with the victim and they advise menfolks to keep distance.
4.  Man are normally sympathizer but can't over rule women.
5.  There are some scrupulous to take advantage of the situations.
6.  As time passes, memory gets faded from people's mind.

[manasi]

EXACTLY: 
The best revenge is to show them,
That.......... 
Your life is getting better, after they are gone.

Beautiful:

By definition revenge is: 'the action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.'

Most of the time we exhibit muscle or money power as an expression of revenge. In the process we make ourselves weaker.

The best revenge is where you become stronger. You learn from your mistake to grow.

Thank you for changing our general mindset from conventional one.


You are great!

[manasi]

Here follows the last update for chapter 32.

I hope to publish the chapter 33 before end of this month. Please remind me, if you find me deviating.

[manasi]

32.3

Kavita


 
 
 
Next day morning, I got up at the sound of alarm. I discovered me under a light blanket. Slowly I remembered everything of last night. I was in shower. Then I had dried myself and taken the sleeping pill after setting the alarm. I had put on the nighty definitely but could not remember of covering me with blanket. I concentrated on my memory. Yes, I did not cover me with blanket. There was no possibility as it was stored in cupboard. Horrified, I looked at the door. It was half open. Was it possible someone entered my room after I slept? Could be that Jaya? Incidences of last night flashed in my mind. My clothes were strewed on the floor.  Mere possibilities of Jaya observed my pathetic condition put a cold wave in my spine.
 
 
 
 
I quickly came out of the room. My clothes were neatly folded and stacked on the sofa cementing my distress. Who could be, Jaya or Manu? I examined the sari fold. It looked, Manu had invaded my privacy. I sensed relief and satisfaction. He still loved me. I smiled to myself, I had not lost everything. Still there was chance for my hallucination to be real. I felt contented.
 
 
 
Next moment other probability filled my mind. In the event, Jaya had invaded my privacy?   She had seen my clothes strewed all over the floor right in drawing room! What she had thought? She must have thought that I had indulged into masturbation after eavesdropping them. What a shame!  I should have been careful, especially after getting reprimanded last night. I got carried away imagining Manu’s fantasy in hallucination disgracing me more.
 
 
I sincerely prayed for Manu to be the person to invade my privacy. He only knew where the blanket was stored. It must be Manu. So, Manu had come in the night after Jaya slept. I felt happy with my reasoning.
 
Time was running out. Quickly, I got ready changing into a sari and served her coffee in bed, with happy note.  Again, I observed sari, petticoat, blouse and bra scattered on the floor as a testimony of her torrid night. Manu was on his side away from me, sleeping peacefully. Again, Jaya was in compromising position. Again, I drank my coffee sitting at a corner of bed. Jaya, this time did not display her assets though it was clearly evident that she was naked under bed sheet. I averted my look from her. I was afraid, she would discover my plight.
 
 
 
She joined me in kitchen after half an hour wearing another nighty. This nighty was lavender and black in colour, and it was lacy. The nighty ended about 1/4 the way down her thighs from where they started. It was also translucent. Even though her skin colour was matched to some extent with the lavender colour of the nighty, I could clearly make out her dark nipples. Both nipples protruded over thin fabric making sharp cone reminding of twin hills side by side. Presence of her Round brown areole did not require any imagination. It was the same nighty I wore on that fateful night. Prem coerced me into drinking. Manu was forced to lick my well ploughed pussy.
 
 
 
Jaya twinkled, “Kavita, I will change my earlier opinion.”
 
 
 
I looked at her questioningly.
 
 
 
She clarified, “Yesterday I was wrong about selection of outfits. This nighty I found last night. Your husband said that it was his choice for you. I must appreciate him. What a sheer beautiful design of enhancing hidden treasures of a woman, beatifying her assets! You are covered yet uncovered! Your man can access your every part without removing it. And the colour! Marvellous! It accentuates body colour in such a way that dark shades become prominent. Look at me and imagine how sexy you   were looking in this outfit. Perm must have disturbed you whole night that day! What do you say Kavita?”
 
 
 
 
Instantaneously, I turned red. She aptly reminded me of my wine party and drunken immoral state of affairs on that night. I forced my attention away from hers. There was no way to escape from her humiliating revenge. Why was she doing it to me? What pleasure was she getting out of my humiliation?
 
 
 
She paused checking my reactions. I forcefully concentrated on the preparation of breakfast. She stealthily approached nearer and whispered, “I may not be of any help in preparation of breakfast. You are only responsible.”
 
 
 
I grew suspicious. Had she observed my scattered clothes on the drawing room floor? She could be speaking about last night and subsequently finding me in my room. Definitely, she would not miss the opportunity to humiliate me.  I looked at her in nervousness, “What have I done?”
 
 
 
“She giggled, “You should have kept this naughty nighty hiding. After your husband slept, I wore it and hugged him in bed. Early morning, he discovered me in this. I think it reminded him of you. He was madly passionate. I had never experienced his vigour. He took me from behind. The longest onslaught I had ever received. His non-stop thrusting placed me in gasping. Oh! My God!  My whole body is paining. I am unable to walk properly.”
 
 
 
My eyes filled in tears. I did not want to be discovered by Jaya. Let my pain remained within me. I deserved this treatment.  She was happy, he was happy. My unhappiness should not touch them. I turned my head from her to hide my emotion. Did she understand my vulnerability?
 
 
 
I heard her voice, “I better take hot water bath. I will later join you over breakfast, OK.”
 
 
 
She limped back to her room. I traced her path with my eyes dumbfounded. A few drops rolled over my cheek to fall on the floor.
 
 
 
I got back to my senses after a while. I wiped my eyes silently, ‘The lucky bitch!’
 
 
 
I could not find any opportunity to meet Manu alone. Gowri was to return the next day early morning. I could not afford to allow Gowri witness my condition. My immediate concern was to save Manu’s dignity in presence of Gowri. She had a great respect for him. Seeing him and Jaya sharing same bed, Gowri may not comment anything, but she would break. It would be a great setback to her belief. Presently, I was concerned of his image to Gowri.  The same Kavita did not care to degrade him in her eyes not long back.  The situations had changed. The previous Kavita has died. The previous Manu also has died. I wiped my eyes. The new Manu did not recognise new Kavita. He hated her so much that he did not speak to her, not even looked at her face. I could imagine my long, isolated, lonely life of future. I had lost everything in life in my foolish acts. My parents were no more with me. After initial sympathy period, my friends would desert me on obvious reasons. Gowri also would leave sooner or later after marriage. Society was full of sharks like Prem. They would feed on my flesh! Silently, I wiped my eyes.
 
 
 
Desperately, I opened the topic to Jaya when she was on breakfast table. Fortunately, she had changed her dress. She was dressed in a sari in most sober condition. No more ugly display of flesh. From her present attire it was difficult to imagine her sultriness one hour back.  I explained my concern to her. I begged her for a solution. She gave me a patient hearing before opening up.
 
 
 
She expressed doubt on my proposal, “I beg your pardon. As your husband confirmed, I thought you and Gowri are already married to Prem. Your husband believes that you are already pregnant with Prem’s child.  Though his religion accepts four wives, I was disbelieving your marriage with Prem without getting proper divorce. However live-in relationship you can always maintain as well as pregnancy. Anyway, Gowri already knows about your relationship with Prem. I am not convinced how my sleeping with your husband makes any impact on her knowledge? I don’t think your image will tarnish further with this piece of information.”
 
 
 
I explained fervently, “I am not worried about my image. I am a bad woman. Gowri respects him as elder brother. I don’t want his image to tarnish in front of Gowri.”
 
 
 
Apathetically Jaya said, “I see. In near future we may decide to settle in Bangalore. What will happen then? Or you want to deprive him of his property?”
 
 
 
I pleaded intently controlling my emotions, “I know, I am a bad woman, worse than a whore. But not that bad as you are thinking. Please Jaya, don’t think that way. You love him and “ I paused and lowered my face to utter next, “he loves you. Please come back and settle here. Once you settle here after marriage, Gowri will not have any ill feelings. She is a very good girl. She will cordially accept you as her Bhabhi. Tell me when you plan to settle. I will vacate the house before that. “
 
 
 
“That’s fine. So, what do you plan in that event? I understand, Prem is not settled yet for marriage. Do you plan to move to your parents till the time Prem gets settled and marries you?“ She stopped to inspect my reactions and continued, “ I find Prem not staying here presently. I thought Prem and Gowri are in honeymoon trip and was looking forward to meet them. Has he temporarily gone back to Hyderabad? Are you planning to continue live-in relationship without marriage and bear his children?”
 
 
 
I concluded; she is not aware of my latest conditions. Her knowledge is limited up to Manu. So, Manu also was unaware of my sexual violation on that fateful day he departed.
 
 
 
I pleaded again, “Please Jaya, can you drop discussion on my personal matters. My only request is you shift in our bedroom for night time till you stay here.”  I tried hard to control my emotions. I managed to speak in broken voice, “Don’t worry, I will not claim your love. You have given him a fresh life. He is happy with you. Believe me, you have no threat from my side. “ My emotions betrayed my reserve. A few drops rolled out of my eyes to drop on the table. I hurriedly wiped my eyes with my pallu.
 
 
 
Jaya waited for my composure. Slowly and calmly she said, “I am sorry Kavita. I imagined you as a much opened-minded woman devoid of any kind of Indian social inhibition and stigma. I considered you as a progressive woman with modern values. Specially, after knowing about your open live-in relationship with Prem and sense of dressing, I presumed you as an ultra-modern housewife believing in western culture. I never imagined my sleeping with your husband can cause so much pain in you. I am sorry for not being able to recognise your embarrassment. You should have expressed your objection on Sunday itself. Anyway, I can’t reverse the past. You will not face any awkward situations in presence of Gowri. I am giving you my word.”
 
 
 
I was not fully convinced in her promise but felt some kind of assurance.
 
 
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
 
Later in office, I immersed into our morning discussions. Manu had told Jaya that I was married to Prem and also carrying his baby. Dr. Preethi was correct in her diagnosis. I failed to read his frustrations. Sorry, I ignored his frustrations. He somehow tolerated my sleeping with Prem. I should have corrected myself sensing his reactions on my tattoo. Just thinking of my imaginary pregnancy by Prem, he left me. In actual situation, he could have either killed me or himself. I had been saved by whiskers. I acted too corrupted to correct myself. I woke up only after losing everything. I have been punished for my misdeeds. I decided to meet Manu at any cost and request for his mercy. It was certain, I have lost him. He was going to marry Jaya in near future. He deserved a better life. I agreed on all of them. Still there was an urge inside me. 'He is not aware of the incidents after his departures. Does he know that I was sex drugged and raaped? Most probably he does not. Jaya is also not aware of it. Same will be with Manu also.  Why am I interested in him knowing? Is it for gaining his sympathy?' I was not sure.
 
 
 
Present Manu would never reconnect with me, I was certain. 'Jaya is a better woman compared to me and more considerate. She will keep him happy.' Again I remembered of last night. Manu had invaded my privacy in dead night to cover me with blanket. He still loved me. Otherwise, he would not have been concerned about me to reach my room at night. Was it possible that he was feeling embarrassed to initiate dialogue with me? In that case, I should take the leap. I must take initiative to easy out our relationship.
 
 
 
 I felt an immense desire to share my pain, my agony with him. In deep corner of my heart, I felt, he would understand my pain. 'I must meet him at least once, must seek his forgiveness. Everything was not true what he has experienced. He may not believe; I did not suffer less than him. He was being tormented without his knowledge; I was being tormented with my knowledge. He must know the truth. He must know the truth which I have kept hidden from the world. The truth I could not disclose to anybody. Let him decide only after knowing the truth.'
 
 
 
I made a plan to meet him in privacy. ‘Best time will be during evening tea time. I can easily take tea to his room and ask Jaya to excuse us. Even if she declines, still I can speak to him. He is my husband. I know, he will listen to me. He will definitely forgive me.’
 
 
 
With lot of hope and trepidation, I started early from office. When I reached home in the late afternoon, nobody was inside. I searched the entire house. Their luggage was missing except one handbag. Jaya had left it by mistake. She had skilfully erased all traces of their visit. There was a small note on the table along with her visiting card.
 
 
“Be courageous to accept the truth, because you can’t change the truth. We are destined to meet again. You will find main door key in letterbox.”
 
 "Jaya"
 
 
 
'What truth she is mentioning? It could be about her relationship with Manu. Shortly, they are getting married. They may continue living together without marriage. Manu may decide to relocate here with Jaya without marriage. He will be sharing bed with his girlfriend, his guest, our guest under the same roof with me. Legally I will remain his wife in paper. For all practical purpose, Jaya will be his wife. Jaya will claim my husband physically and emotionally. What should I do? Where should I go?'I remembered, Manu asked me the similar questions on that fateful day when I shifted to Prem’s bedroom. He was clueless. He was weeping in humiliation and despair. He was behaving like a child.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Manu had come to humiliate me, to denounce me. He had come to declare his prized possession; to showcase his elegant, beautiful, educated girlfriend. He had come to make me understand my position. His purpose was over. If only he could give me an opportunity expressing my feelings, I could get solace. I was pathetic. Realising the truth also, I could not hate him. I loved him.
 
 
That day, late evening Gowri returned earlier than scheduled. I did not tell her anything about Manu’s visit. Weekend arrived. Saturday, after lunch we went for shopping errands. Payment on my debit card of joint A/c was rejected. Gowri made payment to save me from embarrassment. On the way to return, I checked mini statement in ATM. It showed meagre balance. Entire amount was withdrawn on previous day!
 
 
I sensed great mischief. I grew suspicion. Returning home, I checked thoroughly all the documents. I was ruined. Bank pass book along with house deed was missing. I searched again, again and again in all possible & impossible locations. There was no trace. Could it be Manu? Not likely! Then it must be Jaya. She had duped Manu taking advantage of his goodness. But Manu was not a child. Without his active support, Jaya could not execute.  So, they had planned jointly. That was the reason for him to avoid me. He was worried for being caught under my eyes. I checked for documents again. His personal credentials were all missing. Involvement of Manu was cemented.
 
I was in panicky and Gowri also. Finally, when nothing could be traced, Gowri broke down. I had my next shock.
 
 
She professed her irresponsibility. She wanted to surrender to security officer. She had knowledge of Jaya’s visit. In fact, Jaya had, in person, contacted her a fortnight ago and requested for her help. “I accepted her proposal, as she had portrayed herself as Doctor and mediator between you and Manuda. She expressed her desire to spend two days with you on psychological analysis and possible treatment.  She convinced me stating that discussion with you absolutely necessary prior to Manuda meeting you. She stressed on step by step cautious approach as Manuda had suffered some psychological trauma. She desired to plan with you extensively on possible methods of recoveries of Manuda. I did not suspect anything. I was overjoyed on the prospect of your union with Manuda. She made a fervent request not to inform you in advance. It could have negative effect on you as you were also suffering from psychological turmoil. I relented. I never thought that she was a fraud. I am only accountable for all these. I should have consulted you.”
 
 
 
So, they did their homework very well. Manu also had visited a fortnight ago with Jaya and meticulously planned everything to revenge me. Contrary to my assumption, they had all information about my sexual invasion by Prem. Possibility of Gowri informing her about our consultancy with Dr. Preethi was not ruled out. To be confirmed, I asked Gowri for details. I was right. Gowri confessed, “Jaya knows everything. She knows about your sexual torture by Prem and subsequently his arrest. Even she knows about our consultancy with Dr. Preethi. I only had told her everything. Sorry Didi! I believed her. I believed a cheater. I trusted her that she was working for reunion of both of you. She deceived me. I did not understand that time that she was collecting information to misuse against you; she was planning revenge against you.”
 
 
There was no more ambiguity. It was a well-planned move to revenge me. They had planned to see my destruction. What pained me more was how Manu could do it? He was aware of my physical condition under which I was forced to submit to Prem. He knew that I was being administered sexual drugs. He was well aware of my emotional blackmailing. He knew about the gruesome incident of my sexual torture by Prem. I could have died! Knowing everything, he planned for my destruction! The ‘Manu‘ I had known for years had died! And the bitch Jaya! She had acted as if she did not know the truth.
 
 
 
I also had my irresponsibility on my part. In my utter callousness I also did behave like a moron. I was deceived by Manu. Now, it was clear beyond doubt. They planned jointly for purposeful fraud. Everything was planned. Manu had taken revenge. Main conspirator was Manu and Jaya was his abettor. I consoled Gowri. I conferred everything with Gowri, everything I faced in their short visit. Gowri could not believe. First, she could not believe Manu also had stayed in the house with Jaya. She thought that, Jaya was coming alone. She had projected her planning in same way. She could not believe her Manuda could reduce himself to so low grade! She was shattered in the revelations of blatant fraud by Manu. I completely forgot my misdeeds of months. Two days of fraudulent and inhuman offences of Manu overshadowed my months of tortures and inhuman behaviour. I was loathing him. I was cursing him for his cowardice revengeful attitudes.
 
 
 
In the late afternoon we both were busy discussing about future moves. I got convinced that Manu would be capturing the entire house shortly and may be tempted for selling out. What could be other reason for him to pilfer the original house deeds? The possible eviction was frightening me. I had no place to go. There was no possibility for me to go back to my parents. He had withdrawn all money from bank reducing me penniless. If the house is gone, I would be on the road. Gowri contacted one of her lawyer friends and consulted. I was assured that the house could not be sold without my consent. It did not reduce my anxiety. My wretched mind continued veering around gruesome possibilities, in the event of forceful eviction.
 
 
 
The daylight slowly faded away announcing the arrival of evening. We two abandoned women sat opposite kept looking at each other. We had no energy to switch on the light. There was no trace of light in my life. Gowri was better placed. I was deeply shaken at the turn of events. What stored next in my life? The question was tormenting me constantly. The calling bell announced the arrival of a guest. Gowri opened the door.
 
 
Manu was standing, this time alone. I got up in utter disbelief.
 
He wished us both good evening before entering into hall. In my agitated mind also, I observed calmness in his body language. In firm steps Manu faced me.
 
 
 
The very recent betrayal was present in my memory in its full glory. The very presence of Manu was synonym with fraud. He was a cheater; he was a liar. I forgot all my past wrong doings. His fraudulent actions covered up all my debaucheries.
 
 
Even before he could open his mouth, I attacked him severely, “What for are you here? Expected to see me dead?” The bitterness in my tone was not hidden.
 
 
Manu was caught in sudden whirl pond. He meekly tried to defence, “No, no, I came here for confession. For months I could not tell my predicament.”
 
 
I laughed on his face, “Confession and you. Do you think I am a fool? Open up and reveal your true identity. You came here with that whore to humiliate me, denounce me, and rob me of my living. Now you came here for eviction. Do you think, nobody will understand your motive?”
 
Manu folded his hand. “I am sorry for your humiliation. Believe me.  Jaya convinced me…..”
 
Name of Jaya added fuel in my agitated mind. Their bedroom prodigy flashed in my brain. I became ferocious. I screeched, “Don’t take the name of that whore. I am not interested in what that whore said or did. I am more concerned on what you did to me.”
 
 
Manu tried to persuade me again, “I beg your pardon. I am earnestly sorry for your inconvenience.”
 
I howled, “You should. “
 
Manu started in a quivering voice, “Please allow me to confess. I may not get another chance to clarify my predicament ultimately leading to my submission.  I feared on everything. Probably I was not a man.”
 
I Snickered in loathness, “Earlier also, you were not a man. Now also you are not a man. You don’t know what a man is? Every man will be ashamed on your behaviour. How could you do this to me Manu? You never thought about me? You burglarised the house deed.”
 
 
Manu pleaded with closed hands, “No, no, I did not do burglary. Believe me.”
 
There was no reason to believe him. I threatened him, “Don’t lie, you fraud! Did you not take away the house deed? Do not deny. I have proof. I will take you to security officer. I will complain against you for theft.”
 
Manu was defensive, “I do accept, I have taken it with me. But my intention was not bad. Believe me. Actually, I had taken it for…”
 
 
I shouted back stopping him in the middle. “Shut up! It’s enough.  I don’t need any explanation. Your intentions are very clear. You could have asked me. Happily, I would have given you everything. I loved you Manu. I had suffered years for you. I made all sacrifices of my life only for you. In return you desired me to perish. You planned for my destruction. You wanted revenge. You wanted to marry that whore. You did everything premeditated to malign me.”
 
 
Manu screamed in pain, “No Kavi no.”
 
I roared, “Just shut up. Don’t take my name in your filthy mouth. Didn’t you withdraw entire money from our joint A/c?”
 
“I did withdraw but………”
 
I interfered, “Don’t act goodness. Just say, YES or NO. Did you withdraw money or not?”
 
Calmly Manu answered, “Yes.”
 
I shouted, “You are a shameless swindler. You cheated me since marriage.”
 
In bewilderment he repeated, “I cheated you since marriage?”
 
I shouted, “Didn’t you. You were well aware of your performance issues. You hid it purposefully. You cheated me. You are a silly imposter.”
 
Manu repeated again as if not able to believe his ears, “I am imposter? I purposefully hid facts to cheat you?”
 
I thundered scornfully, “Any doubt?”
 
Manu looked at my face as if to find out reality. Very slowly and calmly he answered, “If you get peace out of it, then let it be so.”
 
His calmness fuelled my anger further. I lamented sarcastically, “Did you think I will die? My foot!  Kavita knows how to live without your gratification. This house belongs to me and I won’t share you anything. Go to court to claim your right. Now clear off. I hate you. Get out of my house.”
 
 
I heard Manu’s desperate quivering, “you hate me?”
 
Blood blotted out of his face. I didn’t care. Anger took over my senses. “Yes, I hate you, hate you, I hate you. Any doubt? Now please get lost. Get out of my sight! Go!” My raised voice choked may be in anger, may be in exhaustion.  Unable to stand anymore I sat on the sofa. Was there any tear drops in my eyes? I was not certain. His face was not clearly visible.
 
 
Manu was looking straight. Did he cry? I don’t know. His face was fading away slowly from my vision.
 
In quivering voice, he said, “No, you cannot hate me. You are telling lie.”
 
I raised my voice, “Live in fool’s paradise! I told you, I hate you. Why are you disturbing me?  Go away.  Please, allow me to live.”
 
With firmness in voice, very slowly he asked. “What do you want from me?”
 
My reply was prompt and blatant, “Freedom! I want freedom from you.  I want divorce.”.
 
 
He lowered his face down. He kept quiet for some time and shook his head. It appeared, he wanted to say something. He struggled a lot to control his emotion. Then, he lifted his face to look at me straight. Slowly he lifted his focus at the ceiling then brought back on me. Clearly, he tried to pacify me. I heard his calm voice, “I deserved it. Please don’t punish yourself. Never feel bad about yourself. “
 
He paused.
 
 
I think he struggled internally for the next. He kneeled before me. The faded corridor light mystically found its way to lighten his face. Finally, he spoke in broken voice, his eyes riveted on my feet, “I never denied you anything. You will get what you want. No relationship should be forced upon. I deserve your loathing. Please do me a favour. I beg you. Spit on me and say I hate you. Please. I swear, never ever disturbing you again.” He was begging.
 
 
I got perplexed not knowing what to do. He was begging persistently. “Please spit and say I hate you. Please, do this favour. Please, please, please spit and say I hate you.”
 
 
And I did. I surrendered to my anguish. I surrendered to my smallness. My false pride overtook my senses.  I surrendered to his pleading. I spat on his face and uttered, “I hate you…I hate you…I hate you…”Immediately, I realised my mistakes. In utter exhaustion, I had crossed all limits. I covered my face. Pin drop silence prevailed.
 
 
Did the world stop? I think so. Did I expect him to spat back on me? I did not know. Nothing happened for next few moments. In trepidation, I slowly removed my hands uncovering my face. Under the semi-darkness, I could realise silhouette of his body shuddered violently and then got stiffened.
 
 
 
I heard him saying, “Thank you!”
 
 
 
In horror, I kept looking at him open-mouthed. Then in a quick movement, he lifted him up, turned and walked out of the apartment. He did not look back. He walked out of my life.
 
 
 
I was weeping. Yes, I know for certain, I was weeping covering my face under my palm. Gowri was consoling me. Time passed. After a long time, Gowri got up to close the main door and switched on the light. And next moment she shouted in excitement, “Didi, Check the table. There is something on it.” She rushed to grab on it.
 
 
 
A big folder was waiting on the table for our surprise and shock. Manu had left it and we did not notice it in darkness.
 
 
 
He did not cheat on me. He did not snaffle the house deed for fraudulent purpose. Original house deed was there along with a ‘WILL’. Entire house was in my name! He has also given me freedom. We could locate the mutual divorce documents. Still there was something left for my demolition. Locating the bank pass books was not difficult. I checked the details of my new bank account. He had deposited the entire amount in my single account after withdrawing from joint account. Manu was not a cheater. He did no wrong doing. I held him wrong.  My demolition was completed.
 
 
 
 
 
Before hitting bed that night, I took all the sleeping pills I had in my stock leaving a note behind accepting all responsibility on self.
 
 
 
 
 
End of Chapter 32

[manasi]

Shocking update.......

She was always a bitch....  And remain same forever
She not only betrayed but cuckolded, humiliated and downgraded manu....... Made his life hell
And now.....  Attempted suicide....  To portray him a criminal also....

I don't think manu is so fool, ever like to live with kavita even in dreams....if she got survived from this atempt.

[img][/img]


It all depends, how we perceive others. Lets see what is waiting for us in near future.

[manasi]

heart always speaks, mind always thinks

You really surprise me quite often.

I am elated with the realization that my efforts could motivate you to think and realize the eternal truth.

[manasi]

Hi Manasi,

What the hell is this? You are full of surprises. By reading the previous updates I thought kavita is desparate to meet her husband but her self pride not let that happen. She never understand Manu. She just feel her self lost and insulted in front of Manu and she just loose her temper and destroyed her self. At this situation nobody feel pity about her. 


Prem did so many bad things to Manu and kavita. Ac repair, movie theatre, in public, what else having a loud and wild sex with Prem when her husband stand out side of main door. All these incidents are disrespect to not only manu for kavita also but she never feel her self pride and respect. In kavita opinion Manu is very low not a man enough. Maybe kavita love Manu or not I didn't know about that but she never had respect for Manu. He is not a man she dream to marry. Manu failed to gain respect from kavita. 

This update looks like a dead-end for everything. I know it is not. Manu bring diverse papers with him so Manu not forgiven kavita or is it just a play to teach a lesson to kavita. At this point you can drive this story which ever way you want. Good job Manasi.


So next update will take longer than expected.

Thanks for the update.

I got tempted for posting a reply.  Managed to suppress till next year.

Just a few lines:

I know, I am playing with fire - human psychology. Research says, most suicides are side effect of sudden emotional outbursts. If a pause could be applied, most suicides could be averted. However, there are exceptions.

May be other readers may be tempted to answer your queries.

[manasi]

Chapter 33.1 will be updated on 23/11/2020

[manasi]

Kavita

33.1


I was saved again. Gowri made impossible to possible. She took me to hospital in time to save my life.

 
I had spat on my husband. I had thrown him out of the house without his faults. Incidences in my life were experiencing changes at very rapid pace. Within a space of few months, I had been reduced from ‘Have’ to ‘Have not’s’ mostly by my own creation. I had been trapped into a black hole devoid of any light from anywhere. Finally, life had presented me a lonely life, all alone except for my agonising memory. My in-laws deserted me as expected, but my parents. My mother did not allow me to explain my situations. She also believed whatever she had listened. She did not give me a chance to share my agony. I could tolerate their loathsome in belief of only hope I had with my husband. In this world, the last straw I could depend was his unmasked love. I messed up with that also, I doubted on his love. He landed at a time when I was least expecting him. I was caught in a whirl pond. I had lost track on activities. I was overwhelmed with turmoil. By the time he was persisting for my loath, my mind had stopped working. Without understanding the depth, mechanically, I succumbed to my mental pressure. My smartness, my intelligence nothing worked.

 
A few days had passed since that dreadful evening. Next Sunday, I was looking at the guest room. Last time the room was used by my husband & Jaya.
 
I traversed to my memory lane. ‘He came to confess. He was fervently requesting for my ears. I did not allow him to speak. I was preoccupied by his apparent misdeeds proved to be wrong in a short while but not before I spitted my venom. I had forced him to leave.’ The more I thought, the more I became restless. The desire to meet him became inevitable.
 
‘They knew each other. Quite possible they are staying together. Are they married presently?’ A jealousy touched my heart. She seemed to be very happy with him. I had seen a spark in her eyes. Every morning for two days, I did observe her satisfied look. She had made him happy. I could not. I could not or I did not. Dr. Preethi told, there was possibility of worst. How did I behave so insane?   I prayed for Jaya to keep him happy. Jaya had left a note before leaving.
 
 
“Be courageous to accept the truth, because you can’t change the truth. We are destined to meet again. ”
 
 
She talked about truth! What truth was she referring? How does she know about my closely guarded secret? What she knows about the truth I had kept secret from my husband, even from myself? She must be playing with my mind. What she wanted to say by, “We are destined to meet again.”Did it mean that she knew very well that I would be compelled to meet her some day!

 
And my brain sparked. Jaya handed me her card to contact her in need.  Would it be proper to enter into their personal space? I was not sure; however, I decided to meet her at least once, ‘I can reach my husband only through her. Even if they do not stay together, Jaya may know his whereabouts. I must tell him the truth. I must seek forgiveness. But, if she does not permit me to meet him, what should I do? Chances are pretty high, especially considering my last insensitive cruel behaviour. I will mend her. I will beg for her mercy for one-time permission. She appeared not to be a heartless woman. She did not behave with me so nicely. She was not expected also. I am not going to claim my husband from her. She will definitely grant me permission for meeting him at least once. I will meet him in presence of her, if she demands. This will be a workable solution.’

 
Frantically, I started searching for the card. That day I had kept it in the kitchen. I searched everywhere in the kitchen. Gowri helped me in my search. It seems, the card had gone forever like him. I lost all hope when I remembered the Jaya’s abandoned handbag. It could contain some clue, I reassured myself. I raced to the guest room to retrieve the handbag. Momentarily my heartbeat stopped in anticipation. In trembling hand, I opened the bag and it was there. I found the address I was searching for. Dr Jaya was psychiatrist in Hardwar. She was connected to ‘Orphan Rehabilitation Society’
 
 
 
***
 
 
 
I reached Hardwar in the morning. With a lot of efforts, I could persuade Gowri not accompanying me. It was a journey of self realization. It was a journey of self belief. It was a journey of sacrifice, sacrifice of my false ego and pride. “Sometimes in your life, you are alone.” I preferred to undertake this toughest journey of my life alone. Auto-rickshaw took me to the hospital from railway station within half an hour. Dr Jaya was well known. I could easily find her chamber. Receptionist casually asked my name and purpose of my visit.

 
With lot of apprehensions, hesitantly I introduced myself, “I am Kavita Sharma from Bangalore coming on personal visit.” I hardly finished my introduction, she got alerted. Asking me to wait, she hurriedly disappeared behind the closed door. Even before I could search for an empty seat, Dr. Jaya came rushing out of her chamber, all smiling. She hugged me in tight embrace, “Finally you have found my address. I am impatiently waiting for last ten days.” She looked like meeting her close friend after a long gap.

 
I was taken aback. Why was she waiting for me? She had nothing to gain from me. I could not rationalise. Then remembered, ‘She needed my consent. She needed my divorce for marrying my husband.’  Before I could open my mouth, she gestured me silence. After giving some quick instructions to the receptionist and advising her to keep a watch on my travel bag, she pulled me by hand towards an unknown destination. She forcefully stopped my attempts initiating any discussion.

 
Soon we were in another building. Jaya took me inside the chamber of another Doctor. Dr. Bharati Khanna, Gynaecologist, I read from the name plate. Jaya introduced me as her best friend and addressed to the doctor, “Bharati, you complete your all formalities as discussed earlier. Please take care that my friend does not remain hungry.” Then Jaya addressed me, “Kavita, I am quite busy now. We will meet in the evening and discuss. In the meantime, Dr. Bharati will take care of you. See you in the evening.” And she left before I could protest.

 
The people were behaving strange to me. Dr. Bharati straightway put me under medical diagnosis for unknown reasons. All my protest fell into dumb heads. My medical tests continued throughout the day. I could not convince anybody that my purpose of visit was not for any medical treatment. It appeared that the doctors and staff were accustomed to the refusal of patients being tested. They must have considered me as a mentally unsound person. Reluctantly, I surrendered to their investigations. First time in my life, I was undergoing medical diagnosis for unknown reasons.  I did not get any clear picture against my inquiries, from attending medical professionals. Fortunately, they provided me with foods in-between.

 
Jaya resurfaced only after sunset. Before I could speak, she whispered in my ear, “Kavita, this is hospital. Don’t worry, we will discuss in privacy.” Clearly she was evading my queries. She appeared to have full knowledge of my purpose of visit. Did Gowri inform her in advance, I doubted.
 
Ignoring my all protest, she drove me to her house. In privacy of car I complained, “It seems, you know very well my purpose of visit. I did not come here for medical treatment.”
 
Pleading ignorance Jaya replied amusingly, “Kavita, I am sorry. I thought you have come for medical treatment. Actually, nobody comes to hospital to meet us for other than medical treatment. I thought you also may have come for that. Anyway, I apologize. So, you must have come for that western dress, I was discussing with you last time. Am I right, Kavita?” She did not try to hide her humorous tone.
 
Jaya was making mockery of me. She knew very purpose of my visit. Deliberately, she was humiliating me. I thought of getting down. Then I decided against it. I must show restraint. I must accept all humiliations to reach my husband. She knew whereabouts of him and knowing very well the purpose of my visit, she was down playing with me. I decided to play safe by ignoring her sarcasm. Fortunately, Jaya did not pester further. Her attitude was enough for me not to pester further on the issue inside car.
 
Soon we reached her house.  After alighting, hesitantly I expressed, “I should not have disturbed you without intimation.” I was honest.
 
She embraced me again, “I was expecting you earlier. I am really happy to see you. You look a lot more disturbed than our previous meeting. Not keeping good health also. Please come in. freshened up first.” Jaya pulled me along the pathway not leaving my hand for once. I did not get any opportunity to open up further discussion. Straight way she leaded me upstairs to a specious room.
 
In pleading gesture, she informed, “Take shower and get ready quickly for dinner. I am hungry. I will wait at dining table downstairs.”
 
I shyly informed, “Actually I did not carry much luggage. I thought of returning today itself, “My luggage? I had left it in hospital. I acknowledged embarrassingly, “I had forgotten to collect my luggage from hospital.”
 
Jaya intervened, “Don’t worry about it. You will find everything of your brand in the washroom. Open the dresser to choose your dress. Please don’t waste any more time. “
 
I tried to protest meekly, “I am disturbing you without prior intimation. I can go back to a hotel.”
 
Jaya shined in broad smile, “Have you finished your arguments? Now listen.  You are my most distinguished guest and I am not approving your staying outside. I am very hungry. So, please, no more waste of time. We will discuss over dinner. Try to be ready within half an hour.”
 
She departed closing the door behind.
 
I inspected the room casually. It had a close resemblance with our Bangalore home in terms of furniture arrangement and decoration.  Except that, the room was spacious.  Without paying much attention I entered washroom.
 
 
I had my first shock checking the dress waiting for me. One new sari with complete set including undergarments was neatly stacked. It had close resemblance of the sari I wore that day to receive Prem in the station. I convinced myself, ‘This must be a coincidence.’ Reluctantly, I changed into sari to proceed to downstairs.
 
Jaya was waiting. She had already changed into full body two piece night dresses. She greeted me in beaming smile, “you look marvelous in this sari. I am unable to keep my eyes off.”
 
I smiled coyly and saw my reflection at the mirror behind Jaya. I looked seductive. Suddenly, I felt miserable, thinking of my past. I started hating myself.
 
While having dinner I broached upon the subject directly, “I came here to find out whereabouts of him, “ I hesitated a bit and continued, ”how is he? Does he remember me? He may be despising me a lot?”
 
Jay chuckled, “You are ready with so many questions at a time for me to answer, Kavita? You could have asked these over telephone. Only to get answers to those questions, you traveled such long distance, I don’t believe.”
 
I did not take his name. Jaya also did not take his name. We both knew whom we were referring to.
 
Slowly I answered, “I want to apologize to him in person. I want to see him happy.”
 
Jaya appeared to be serious, “Anything else?” I got a jolt. She may not approve my meeting with him.
 
I vaguely tried to force a grin in my face. “Yeah! I want him to believe that I don’t hate him. What he knows, is not true.” I put my face down.
 
She did not rush to answer me. I waited long and lifted my face in anticipation of rejection. She was smiling. “Please finish your food first. We will discuss.” I could sense the softness and assurance in her voice.
 
 
We finished our dinner silently.
 
“What will you prefer in breakfast?  Will South Indian do?” Jaya was courteous again after dinner.
 
“I have no particular preference. Anything will do.” I was apologetic.
 
She guided me to my room. “You look tired physically & mentally. Why don’t take rest now. I have arranged some more clothing and kept in dresser. Now take this medicine and sleep.”
 
I took the medicine but hesitated.
 
“Don’t worry. I am a practicing professional doctor. You may not trust me but you can always trust Dr. Jaya and her professional ethics. Meet you in the morning.” She closed the door behind.

 
Clearly Jaya was behaving evasive. I could not get confirmation from her gesture. She did not deny directly nor did she accept either. One thing was clear that she had information. I must show patience.  I took the medicine and opened the closet for changing into something comfortable.  Another shock was waiting for me.  Dresses were of my choice. Did she know that I would be visiting? She must have spent a lot of money & time to match my taste. But then, what was her motive? I could not think more. I needed rest. Quickly, I changed into a full body nightly and slept.
 
 
 
***
 
 
I woke up in the morning fresh.
 
I had my third shock waiting for me. After freshened up, I observed one new sari with complete set including undergarments was neatly stacked on the bed. It had close resemblance of the sari I wore that Friday evening Gowri made her fourth visit. ‘This can’t be coincidence,’  I was convinced. It was clear; she wanted to remind me of my delinquency. Apprehensively, with heavy hearts, I changed into to proceed to downstairs.
 
 
Jaya greeted me beaming, “You look much better in this sari. Surely, my heart will stop beating.”
 
I did not dare to check my reflection at the mirror.
 
Jaya quickly changed her tone, “let’s have breakfast. I am dying of hunger.”
 
Guardedly I spoke, “I am sorry to keep you waiting.”
 
“You are welcome. Be seated.”
 
“Thanks, Jaya, for your hospitality.” I tried to gauge her mood. She appeared to be in good mood. I cautiously spoke, “I can go back today night itself, if you permit.”
 
“Come on Kavita, why are you in hurry. Don’t you enjoy my company?”
 
“Not that. I must not disturb you and interfere in your personal life?”
 
“If that bothers you, be assured you are neither interfering nor disturbing.  You must have noticed, presently, I am staying here alone. I will have better life in your company.”
 
‘What she indicated by presently? Does it mean he was here and been shifted recently?’ I thought internally. I came upon the subject directly, “Does not he staying with you?”
 
She returned the question back to me, “Is he supposed to?”
 

I could not understand her. I put my head within my hands. ’He visited our house to confess. He also collected the house deed to transfer the property in my name. He also got ready mutual divorce papers. This clearly indicates, he was in Bangalore after he left our house on Tuesday morning. It does not look like Jaya also stayed in Bangalore; she is a professional doctor with responsibility. Even before visiting our house, she contacted Gowri to ensure her absence. She had prior knowledge of my sexual violation. She had some knowledge about our consultancy with Dr. Preethi. It’s clear she had visited on purpose to meet me alone. Is it to declare her relationship with him or something else? She did not ask for divorce formalities. How Gowrie’s absence made difference? ’ I got confused more.
 
 
Presently she continued amusingly, “I understand, you are confused with many questions. I will help you to find your answers.   Before that we must clear our relationship.”
 
I was further confused, “Our relationship? I did not understand.”
 
“Please have patience.  We will discuss elaborately in the evening. Presently you have to make a visit to the hospital. Dr. Bharati wants some personal discussion with you on your health condition. If you are ready, we can proceed.”
 
“It appeared, Dr. Bharati had observed some minor abnormalities in the report. You are infected with Asherman’s  Syndrome.” Jaya explained.
 
I met Dr. Bharati in the hospital. It was related to my reproductive system. Dr. Bharati wanted to cross check and make correction with my permission. She persuaded me to complete the hysteroscopy procedure as it was simple and harmless. I doubted, it could be the side effect of the sexual drugs and sexual abuse I was subjected to. I could not ask details apprehending my past life would get exposed. I accepted.
 
Dr.  Bharati conducted a lot of tests before and after the procedure. In late afternoon, she appeared to be very happy. The abnormalities were cleared. She prescribed some medicines and requested for another visit after two days for final checkups.
 
 
After dinner, Jaya lead me upstairs to the spacious balcony adjacent to my room.
 
After we seated comfortably, she spoke guardedly, “Kavita, I know the very purpose of your visit. Before I open up myself or you ask any more questions, certain things I want you to get acquainted with. You may consider these are my conditions for discussions. I will emphasize here our relationship first.”
 
“Now listen to me carefully. Presently, we can have 3 types of relationship. Scope and responsibility will vary accordingly. Consequences also will be defined. Certain rules will be binding on both of us. We both have to take vow not to cross the rules.”
 
Authoritatively, she pronounced, “I take pride of strict follower of professional ethics. Whatever, will transpire between us, will normally remain within us, unless you decide otherwise. In certain exceptional cases, I may share part of our discussion with other professionals for betterment of personal life and for society as a whole. “
 
Immediately I understood my mission of reaching him would not be a cakewalk. I would have to pass through many intermittent steps. Hesitantly, I asked, “Can you please elaborate?”
 
Jaya promptly answered. “Oh Yes. Actually, there could have been another type, that is stranger. We are already acquainted to each other during my stay in your home for 2 nights, if you remember. So, I am not considering that.”
 
“Henceforth, we will be governed by the rules.”
 

“The first of the list is ‘Guest relationship.’”
 
“Here you will be treated as guest, while I will be host responsible for your comfortable stay here. Guest must show gratitude to host. Guest must maintain dignity and harmony not to put host into embarrassment. Anything can be discussed barring intimate personal matters. Guests will be treated as outsiders. Duration will be maximum 7 nights. Guest may make rare visits only with permission of hosts. No misbehaviour on part of guest will be allowed. “

 
“The second to follow is ‘Friends relationship.’”
 
“We will treat each other as close friends. There will be no restrictions on topic of discussion. Friends will enjoy liberty of sharing everything including intimate personal information but disclosure is not compulsory. Friends will never cheat each other. Friends must trust each other. Friends must always work for betterment of friends. Duration of stay is unlimited. Friends can leave & return back any number of times, only with permission of other friend, which normally should not be denied. “


“The last one is ‘Doctor patient relationship.’”
 
“Doctor will enjoy supreme power to determine and implement every aspect of patient’s activities and interfere with their intimate personal life not restricting to treatment only. Patient must show absolute trust to doctor. Patients are bound to abide by and are not permitted to refuse any treatment specifically approved by doctor. However, patient may raise any questions limited to health & treatment and doctor is bound to answer clearing the doubts. Doctor can summon patient as and when required not to be disobeyed. Patients have right to breakaway permanently not to return in future.”
 

She took a deep breathing, “Presently, we are in guest relationship. You have only one choice to switch over during our lifetime relationship. Before we proceed further, you have to decide our relationship. You decide by tomorrow morning. If you are comfortable with above, we can promise to respect our boundaries. In any case, I assure you clarity of mind before you leave Hardwar. The very first thing I want you to switch off your mobile. You can share my mobile no, to your well wishers for any emergency.”
 
 
She gave me some medicines instructing to take before bed.  I came back to my room full of hope. Clearly, she wanted my uninhibited surrender. Her assurance had positive effect in my mind. Strangely, I developed some trust in her. Informed Gowri not to worry about me and contact Jaya for any emergency as my phone will be switched off. Without hesitation, I took the medicines this time next morning. I did not know when I slept.



***
 


Morning I got up a bit late. I had a clearer picture of Jaya’s proposal. She wanted my trust and truthfulness. I had to win her trust to reach my husband.  I decided firmly.
 
 
“I have decided on ‘Friends relationship’”. I informed over breakfast.
 
Jaya was curious, “Guest relationship was ruled out. You could have opted for Doctor Patient relationship. Is there any specific reason for your choice? “
 
I replied guardedly, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.  As a true friend you are always bound to guide & provide all medical helps. “
 
She beamed, “You are not only beautiful, very intelligent also. I envy your luck.”
 
“I curse my luck. I don’t want anybody in this world to suffer like me.” I was genuinely sad.
 
“I am confident, you will change your mind in future to appreciate me. What’s your plan today?”
 
I forced a faint smiling, “Nothing in particular except embracing your friendship.”
 
 
“That’s like a good girl. Instruct Lakshmi on your favourite dishes. She will be eager to win your heart with her cooking skills. Don’t disappoint her.” Then with smiles she added, “We will go for marketing today evening. Be ready by 5pm. I will pick you up. See you in the evening.”
 
 
******
 
 
I was ready by the time she returned. She was very punctual.
 
I appreciated her, “You are always on time, never allowed me waiting.”
 
 

“Punctuality is reflection of one’s character. I dislike losing trust of my near ones.” She was firm and simple. “You are not looking attractive in this dress. Please change into this. 15 minutes.” She handed over me a packet.
 

I moved to my room to change. I opened the packet and my head twisted. It contained one short sleeved, short length, pullover type top of red colour, a black coloured, stretchable, body hugging pant and one push up bra. The same fittings I had worn on that Sunday, very next day of that fateful Saturday night he was slapped by Prem while I was lying on sofa. It was the same obscene dress which caused my identification by his friends Puja & Aslam. That day Prem did not lose any chance to grope me. I was humiliated in public view. There was no question of changing. I got transfixed and sweated. Tear drops started flowing in my eyes.
 
Finding me late, Jaya came upstairs. Mockingly she said, “You haven’t change yet. Any fitting problem?”
 
I pleaded, “Please Jaya, I cannot dress in these.”
 
“Come on Kavita. You will look hot in this dress. Your figure and assets will be prominent. Your husband had confirmed that, you had been to movie in similar dresses in Bangalore. I presume, you had attracted a lot of appreciation in Bangalore.  I am sure; people in Hardwar also will appreciate your sense of dressing. Why do you want them to be deprived off cherishing your beauty and figure?”
 
I remained silent keeping my face down in deep shame.
 
Jaya twisted the knife by remarking sarcastically, “One obvious reason I find the absence of your live-in boyfriend. Definitely, I can’t be a replacement of Prem. Are you hesitating for same reason, Kavita?”

 
I remembered the whole incident. That day, Prem had groped and fondled my ass in full public view. He had displayed me as a sex object, a personal whore for his enjoyment. I was intimidated, I was humiliated in public. I had over ruled all objections of my husband to make an obscene display of my body. I had literally no options. Effect of my whorish behaviour did not end on that day. The very next week, his friends recognised me. I was cause for his humiliation. I was humiliated again. I vowed that day of never dressing in similar outfits again. The same incident was haunting me again. Deeply embarrassed, I briefly lifted my face to look at her and put down immediately.
 
She added further salt to my wound. Derisively she commented, “I personally know some tomboys here very rich, much richer than your boyfriend. Most of them will be eager to take you as live-in partner. You may consider to give them some chances. I can arrange someone, if you so desire.”
 
 
It could have been better, if she slapped me. I did not lift my head. I did not try to give any excuse. Her purpose of humiliating me was over. I had been reminded of my grave brazen behaviours. She did not force me further to change dress before proceeding for marketing.
 
She was driving the car herself.
 
She informed while driving, “I need to purchase something very special for special someone whose birthday is falling next week. I need your help. “
 
‘Is she taking about my husband?’ I thought. To get clarification, I asked, “Your relative?” I forced a pale smile.
 
“You can say my boyfriend.  He is very special to me. I want him to appreciate my gifts. I am uncertain over my choices. Hope, you won’t mind helping me selecting the right ones.”
 
It was clear, she was talking about him. Embarrassed, I thought, ‘I should not have asked.’ To cover up, I immediately said, “I may not be of much help in your shopping. You will find me a waste.”
 
“I will not. I am little bit conversant with your choices. I value your taste. We have reached our destination.”  She declared before turning the car to the parking lot of a multiplex.
 
We entered into a general store where she purchased a nice gift box and some different types of colour papers.
 
“I want the gift box to be eye catching. I want him to be impressed even before opening the pack. Can you help me in packing the gift?”
 
I nodded my head in affirmative.
 
“Then select some decorative items.”
 
I collected some related items, before she guided me to the ladies section.
 
“I want to gift him some pretty undergarments. I know the size. You have to select the different types.” Before I could react, we were in front of panty section.

 
I wanted to die on the spot. The correlation was so obvious. I felt humiliated again. Jaya did not name anybody. One day, I myself coerced this humiliation with Prem to humiliate my husband. Unknowingly, I had submitted myself into Prem’s trap. I had my own interest to break the mental resistance of my husband for a purpose. That day and subsequently I had multiplied the plight of his pain.  I did not allow him to breathe. I even did not try to figure out his real compulsion on his sissy dressing till my eyes were fully opened on a fateful Saturday night. By that time it was already late for any corrective actions. My one mistake led to another and it continued ruining my life completely. I could not raise my head in utter humiliation. Jaya asked many questions. Nothing entered my brain. I became dumb. I prayed for early closure of my mental torture. Little I knew, there were some more to come.
 
 
***

[manasi]

Interesting update.
Kavitha is an independent, well educated, gorgeous, high earning and mentally strong woman  She can remarry and start a better life with a person of her choice. Why she is running behind manu, who is nowhere match her Calibre. Is this because she needs a slave as her husband.

Kavita was not high earning and she had never proved her strong mentality. Rather I find her of moderate to weak mentality.

Manu was high earning and could easily get another wife after divorcing Kavita. Still he decided to accept all humiliation and physical abuse to remain married in an adulterous relationship.

Behaviour of human character difficult to estimate.