20-08-2024, 12:09 AM
(Chapter 41 continues)
As they walked out Meera was asking Desai about the inauguration event of his new security agency. It was going to happen in a few weeks. He was yet to finalise the Bollywood celebrity for the inauguration.
"But you guys both are going to be there among the chief guests. I have the plan to say a few words about Krish, for he must be credited for guiding me into this field."
Meera looked at me happily.
"Meera, this is an opportunity to meet your favourite actor. Suggest the name to him."
I said.
Meera looked at Desai.
"But I am not sure he is going to invite an actor or actress. It must be an actress and I have no interest in meeting anyone." She said with a teasing smile.
"Oh, so you're interested in meeting men only."
I teased her.
"No, a security agency should better be inaugurated by an action-hero-type actor. If you want to suggest, it's good."
Desai said.
"No, Susheel. I am not going to put my hand in your decisions."
Meera said.
"My life is circling you. I would like you to make a few decisions for me."
"Is that it? Then I will think about making a suggestion."
Meera said happily.
After lunch, I sat in the hall and started watching a live cricket match on TV. Meera was sitting on the other sofa with her legs at the other end of it. She had her laptop on her lap and even though she was busy working on it, she joined me to cheer on the key moments in the game. I suggested she could work at night.
"I don't think it will be possible. Susheel will be here, won't he?" She asked casually with her eyes fixed on the laptop screen.
I couldn't believe how she was blatantly telling me she had the night reserved for Desai. As if she had already made up her mind that she was going to be busy with him.
After a while, Desai joined us. He sat on Meera's sofa and lifted her legs to keep them on his lap.
Meera said she was finishing some work and asked Desai to help himself with the juice in the fridge. Desai said he would have the juice later.
And soon he started playing with her feet. First, he stroked around her calves, making Meera admit that it felt good.
But then Desai ran a circle under her foot, tickling her.
"Stop tickling me Susheel." She warned. "You will get a kick out of my reflex."
"I wouldn't mind it."
He said and even lifted her feet to land a kiss on an ankle.
"You have beautiful feet."
"Say something new, darling. I’ve heard it many times from you."
Meera revealed. I thought it was slipped from her mouth. She silently worked on the laptop afterwards. Desai continued with his naughtiness. Meera tried to pull her leg back but Desai held them tight. Eventually, Meera kept the laptop aside and jumped on him, to scold him. But Desai put his arm around her comfortably, holding her into a freeze. I was suddenly drawn completely into the action. Meera was staring at his eyes, and he was staring back at her.
I even felt she would submit to him to kiss him.
But she moved away, somehow.
She gathered herself and shifted onto the other sofa. However, she kept glancing at him and smiling at him. She was getting warmer, for sure. And I was struggling to hold my face straight for I was getting annoyed. I wanted to tell them to move away.
Enough was enough.
I wanted them to take a break from this. We had come a long way forward than we had intended and now things were not as fun as they were presuming.
But I didn't say anything.
I was waiting for him to share his fantasy with her.
"I have read a couple of articles about his nature."
He had told Meera about me. And when he shares the fantasy of allowing Piyush to sleep with her, she would learn his true nature too. She would find who the man of fantasies was. She would also learn the true meaning of dark fantasies which he had mentioned a day ago.
A few minutes later, Desai asked me if I would like to have tea.
"I'll make one for us all." He volunteered and began to get up. But Meera stopped him.
"Don't even try entering my kitchen for that. I know you can't even boil an egg."
She said and got up.
"I am a businessman. But I am trying to be a family man. Will you teach me, please?"
Desai asked.
"Yeah, come with me. Today I will teach you how to make tea. Tomorrow I will teach you how to boil an egg."
Meera said with a smile.
"Oh, that's so great."
"I wonder what you meant when you suggested having a night camp in the jungle with self-cooked food," Meera said while walking to the kitchen. Desai followed her.
"Krish will also be there, won't he? I'm sure he will lend us a helping hand." He said.
"Mmm..." Meera laughed a little. "You want to get my husband to cook for you while you have all the fun with his wife?"
I couldn't hear Desai's reply as they both disappeared into the kitchen.
I felt she had already started treating him like a husband.
My patience was running short. I was waiting for the moment Desai grew confident to share his fantasy with her.
His true face.
That was all I needed.
I was sure Meera would be shocked if she heard Desai's proposal. She would realise that Desai was no different from me. Every moment he had played along with my fantasy, it was bringing out his true nature as well. The truth that he was also evolving into a cuckold mind would shatter all the manly impressions he had built up in front of her. She would understand all the nice things he was telling her, all those pep talks he was giving her - they were meant to get her to agree to his secret desire to spread her legs for another man. He had already told her about keeping a dark fantasy; now she would learn what his dark fantasies were going to be.
And it wouldn't be tough to see that his dark fantasies are far more dangerous than mine. Desai was not her husband. And he would never have the binding that I ever had with her. He would walk into her room another day and tell her that he has brought another friend. He would look into her eyes and challenge her, 'you slept with Piyush, didn't you? Why can't you split your legs for this friend too? What difference does it make to you?’
Meera would be clever enough to understand that she would not have any answer.
She was going to tell him to go fuck off. I knew.
After lunch when I found an opportunity, I went to the kitchen. I stood watching Meera doing the dishes. She asked me if I could arrange the plates into the pulled-out tray.
"What are you thinking, Krish?"
She asked me when she was done washing the plates. "Are you not happy that Susheel is staying with us tonight?"
"I thought we are going to be together tonight," I said.
"Who told you we won't be?" Meera smiled.
I thought she was joking with me.
"Are you going to sleep with me tonight? And what about him?"
"If you don't want me to sleep with him, then I will sleep with you."
"What about him?"
"What about him? He had his chance two times. Two back-to-back nights."
"But he would be gone tomorrow. He might not be back very soon."
"So what?" Meera wiped her wet hands with the hand towel and grabbed my hand. "You are my husband. Not him."
You will realise it again when he tells you about his dream tonight. I said in my mind.
But for that, she had to be with him. I made a quick calculation in my mind.
"He must be thinking that he is gonna have another special night."
I said.
"He told me that. But I told him no."
"Why?"
"Shouldn't I have told him that? Why are you talking like this? Do you want me to sleep with him every night just because he's here? I want you too, that too, just you only."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean to say I won't come back to you if I went to sleep with him..."
"But on Friday you..."
"I know." She interrupted me. "But it's different. For you, I'd like to be the exclusive thing. Not a used one."
"Used one." I laughed a little. "You are crazy to say such things about you."
"I'm starting to think crazy things, Krish. I have a feeling that our life is falling apart. We need to regroup before it's late. I want to be with you tonight, no matter what. Desai can come back another day."
I didn't want Desai to come back another day.
I moved closer and put my left arm around her shoulder.
"But I don't want him to leave like that. You can spend another night. It's okay. But he shouldn't come back for a few months. We will have time to regroup."
I said.
"Tonight, with him..." Meera looked down. She was smiling. But I wasn't sure if it was a welcome one.
"Do you have anything else in your mind, Krish?" She looked up.
We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds.
"Will you let me watch tonight?" I asked.
"Krish... no," Meera said quickly.
"Please. He will be gone in the morning."
"Why do you want to watch it, Krish?"
"Because it's a fantasy you guys have been unknowingly teasing about and also when I see you guys flirting I feel like being left out."
"You are not being left out. I will be sharing a lot of details with you... about my nights with him. That will be great for you... I promise you."
"Please, I want to watch. Are you scared that I will hate you for that?"
"I am not scared of that, Krish. Because I know you will never hate me for that. And don't tell me that I am letting you out. About Friday night I want something to tell you. I thought I would talk about it later but I feel it's too much for me to hide from you."
"What is it?"
I asked intriguingly.
"That night you were excited. I mean we both were excited but you were too excited. I mean I could experience it and you finished too soon, in the end. Do you remember?"
I was already hooked. I nodded. "Yes. I think yes, I came too soon that night."
"Yeah. But I sensed it right away. It was okay but you know... I also didn't feel it was right because Susheel was watching. I didn't want you to feel bad in front of him. The way he was looking at me... I was sure he was there to take me to his room after you. So giving you more time was out of the question, though I didn't think about that much at that time. The only option that I had was to pretend that I was content with what I got there... I mean... How can I tell you..." Meera was struggling to put it into words. She was looking down repeatedly. She felt like a child confessing a mistake.
"Did you fake it, baby?"
I asked. I didn't want her to struggle anymore.
Her head was down even more. I could not see her eyes.
"Baby?" I put my finger under her chin to lift her face. Her eyes were closed. And they were teary when she opened them.
"I am sorry, Krish. I... I am extremely sorry. I did it because you know... how good Desai is at giving me such pleasure. And I didn't want you to compare yourself with him and feel bad about it. Don't ever..." She stopped as the tears dropped out of her eyes.
I was stunned.
I was not shocked by what she had just told me but by the fact she chose to confess it. She did not tell me the truth about Desai catching her faking it. But she had at least told me the truth about faking it.
I put my other hand around her and held her close.
"Have you ever had to do this thing... I mean this faking thing on my bed?"
"No," she said quickly and looked up into my eyes. "I never had to. And I don't think I will ever do that unless you put me in such situations."
"Next time when I put you in such a situation, please do scream louder. Entertain him, as much as you want."
I said with a smile. Meera laughed.
"Idiot. So you have no plan to stop. Is that what you're saying?"
We laughed together. She looked more gorgeous than ever when her eyes were shining on me.
I ended up hugging her tight and thanking her.
"You are my lollipop. The sweetest thing in my life. I know you will be there for me always."
"Don't add too much sugar, I'm warning you," Meera said and pushed me away, softly. "Don't expect me to let you watch okay?"
I laughed.
Meera took a wiping cloth and started cleaning the kitchen countertop. I was about to go back to the hall when Meera turned to me.
"I was really scared you'd be pissed off. You are wonderful, Krish."
I loved what she said.
"I'm proud that you said the truth. Desai is a rascal. Imagine him finding it out and revealing the same thing to me. I would be pissed off then." I said, watching her face. Her face was getting serious.
"Did you ever think we did a mistake by allowing him into our life?"
She asked. I caught her throwing a glance toward the door. She was probably checking if Desai was around. Desai was in his room and I was sure he was not going to overhear our conversation.
"Sometimes, yes. But other times I feel we would have found someone else if it wasn't him."
Meera stared at me. She stared at me long enough to make me wonder if I said something wrong.
"But whoever it is, it's temporary. Right?" I asked. "We are the same old couple, aren't we?"
"It's a question that I have already asked myself a hundred times, Krish. Whenever I find those heavenly- I would like to be cheeky here - those heavenly moments with another man, I used to think about coming back to you... how it would be. Especially with Susheel, the question used to scare me. Will I remain the same wife? Will you remain the same husband? Initially, it used to scare me. But you know, if you've taught me one thing in my whole life, that's to seek pleasure from your scare. Some people call it love for adventure. That may be the reason why it stopped worrying me and instead started to thrill me. And you know, people change. Our perception of anything can change. More than the event, more than the moments - even those heavenly moments - I'm thrilled about coming back to you, Krish. Because in my mind I never had become someone else's woman. I have always been yours, Krish."
Her voice was becoming softer and lovelier. I could no longer stand and watch her. In a sweeping motion, I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. She kissed me back too. I pushed back against the countertop and allowed my kiss to become intense. Our tongues and lips danced together for a few seconds which left us both gasping for air.
"Tonight, I'm sleeping with you only." Meera blurted in the end.
I didn't want to tell her another word.
However, as the day progressed to the evening, I found myself getting tensed about the same thing I was hopefully waiting for.
What if Desai manages to convince Meera?
I was aware that Meera had a liking for Piyush's funny conversations. What if Desai talked to her in a way that I was probably not imagining?
What if Meera agrees to sleep with Piyush?
I suddenly felt like I did a mistake by agreeing to Desai's wild fantasy. One thing was sure. It was not just a fantasy by Desai but that of Piyush also.
Piyush was in awe of Meera's beauty.
As far as I understood, Piyush would have started dreaming about Meera when he learnt that I was willingly letting my wife sleep with Desai. He would have then started dreaming about having sex with my wife. He had heard her moaning with pleasure in Desai's bed. From that day, he would have started dreaming of gifting her all that pleasure himself.
No man is what we see in the daylight. I felt.
He had promised me that he would never talk to Desai about it. But he not only discussed it with Desai but also asked him to set up a date with Meera.
The more I thought about it, I found my confidence diminishing. I could only see a fifty per cent of chance for Meera kicking out Desai. For the other fifty per cent, I saw Meera and Piyush walking into her bedroom.
Am I going to witness another rich and married man filling my wife's pussy with this cum?
It was a question that was going to deprive me of sleep. But it was too late for now.
Eventually, I asked Desai when he was planning to ask Meera about it.
“Tonight, while having sex with her.”
Desai said straightaway.
He was so sure about it.
“But tonight she's going to be with me.”
I said.
Desai looked at me in surprise. I loved his reaction. He was surely expecting one last chance to screw my wife.
"Oh, please. Don't do this, bro."
"What, you had your chance for two straight nights. It's time I claim my wife back."
"I didn't have sex with her yesterday, Krish."
"Bad luck. But she has already told me she's going to be with me tonight."
"I'll talk to her."
"Do you think she will change her mind?"
"This is my last chance. She's got a kind heart."
I laughed it off. I felt I was slowly gaining the upper hand over him.
However, all hell broke loose just before dinner time.
I had gone for a shower when Desai found an opportunity to talk to Meera. I don't know what he told her and how he told her. But the reply was delivered to my doorstep. Quite literally.
I heard the knock on the shower.
"Krish. Just finish it and come out."
From Meera's shaky voice itself, I felt Desai had talked about it.
Is she gonna ask me to kick him out of our house?
I rushed to wrap a towel around my waist and opened the door.
Meera was standing there. And her eyes were just fire.
"Krish! Did you say yes to this moron?"
She pointed backwards. I saw Desai standing by the door.
"Look at me!" Meera yelled. "Did you say yes?"
"To what?"
"This moron wants me to sleep with his friend. And you told him yes?"
I tried to laugh, but I quickly realised that I shouldn't.
"I didn't mean to..."
"Did he discuss it with you?"
Meera interrupted me.
"Yes, he had told me about it. And I told him to..."
"You are okay with it."
Suddenly I knew I was in hot waters.
"I... I told him to ask you."
"What the fuck you were thinking, Krish?" She took a step forward and pushed me. I held onto the washroom door to avoid falling. "You don't have a say in that? What is your choice then? Is it okay if I sleep with anyone he brings home?" Meera went on.
I had lost my voice. More than the realisation that I had fucked it up, the way she was reacting stunned me.
"Oh, God!" Meera pressed her palms onto her face. She was crying.
"What is happening in my life? I have lost count of this." She looked up and yelled again, "I have lost count of your mind games, Krish!"
"Wait, Meera," I said. "I didn't mean to ask you to consider it. I just wanted you to understand that he is nurturing such a crazy idea for you."
"Wow! That's your security when things go south. Stop changing the plate. I just know what you are. Krish!"
Meera said and began to walk out of the room.
"Meera, listen. I didn't mean what you think. Trust me."
I said. But she had already gone.
Desai was staring at me.
"You just wanted her to understand that I'm nurturing such crazy ideas for her, didn't you? Wow!"
"Desai, you have to stay with me in this. I have no plan to get my wife to sleep with your friend."
I said.
"And what about people you meet in a random place?"
He asked.
I was stunned.
"What do you mean?"
"I meant exactly what you heard, Krish!" He said. "Wear something, Krish. We need to talk."
He added and walked out.
I hurried to find some clothes and wore them. My mind was rushing faster to make sense of what he had just told me.
"What about people you meet in a random place?"
I knew Desai wasn't just throwing a silly claim to distract me. There was something in mind that was enough to make him believe he could take me on. But why?
Is he trying to create a rift between me and Meera?
The thought crossed my mind and I was stunned by it. I remembered all the brainwashing pep talk I had heard him giving to my wife since Friday night.
Bastard!
I screamed in my mind and rushed out of my room. There was no one in the hall.
And I could hear them talking in Meera's room. I approached the closed door and waited a moment to hear what they were talking about.
"Meera you love him, I know that. But love can die in the hands of a wrong person." I heard Desai's voice.
What the fuck! I said myself. He was not talking to solve the problem. He was trying to brainwash her.
"You are mirroring his justification. How could I trust you?"
"Like I trust you, Meera."
Meera's reply was silence.
I had waited enough. I pushed the door. It was bolted from the inside. I knocked on the door and Desai opened it after a few seconds. Meera was sitting on the bed. I looked at her and then turned to Desai.
"What are you doing, Desai?"
I asked, without hiding my anger.
"I'm sorry Krish. I did what I had to do."
"You should leave," I raised my voice. "You should leave now. Else you'll see my other face."
"I have seen your other face, Krish." He said nonchalantly.
I took a step towards him. I was preparing to charge him with my next step.
"You're crossing all the limits. Today our friendship ends," I said.
"Leave him, Krish." Meera interfered. "Why are you going against him? This is between you and me."
"Are you trying to protect him, Meera? He's trying to make us fight."
"He's merely showing the truth."
"What truth?"
"The truth, that you have gone too far, Krish," Desai said and moved closer to Meera.
"She deserves better."
"What the fuck you are talking about, Susheel Desai?" I yelled again and scratched my head. "Will you tell me what is this all about? You said something about letting her sleep with random people. When did I do that, you tell me, bastard? When did I do that?"
"He's talking about Jai, Krish!" Meera said quietly. Her voice was shivering.
I was stunned. I stared at her for a moment.
"Jai?"
"The random guy we've met on a train. That's him."
"What about him? When did I..." I began to say and paused. I was at loss for words. So was Meera. She slowly turned her head down.
I looked at Desai.
"You don't know the whole story, Krish," Desai said. "But she has told me everything about that night in the train. How you met a military man and made her flirt with him, yourself pretending to be a stranger. And you let him kiss him. Be intimate with him."
"So what? It was something we did together. We've done the same things with you too. What a hypocrite you are, Desai! If I hadn't done those things with you, you would have still been dreaming of her and jerking off in your office chair. How many times have you told me things like we're a special, special couple, just because of that? And now you dare to blame me? It shows your true character. You're a chameleon whose best-known trick is to change colours. What else are you, Desai? Tell me what you want."
"It also shows your character too, Krish. Tell me one thing. Why didn't you tell me to walk away when I suggested letting my friend sleep with Meera?"
"I said this already. I wanted to expose your true face to her."
"But you've exposed yourself, Krish."
I wanted to kick him. I had almost begun to raise my feet but Meera interfered before I did.
"Why would I trust you, Krish? Do you have anything to prove you were just testing him? It will be even harder for me to believe that you didn't get a hard-on when he proposed the idea of watching Piyush fuck your wife."
I didn't have anything to say.
"Meera...I don't have any evidence. But you can't put everything on me and just behave like a chaste woman."
I blurted.
"What did you say, Krish?" Meera turned to me. "Go on, put something on me then. When did I behave like a chaste woman?
"Don't make me talk, Meera," I warned.
"Talk your mind, Krish! I dare you to talk."
"Meera you were very close with Desai when I was lying on the bed after the accident. Way more than you were pretending. How many times have you slept with him, behind my back?"
"What!" Meera's voice was a cry. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Don't shout, Meera. I know you have been fucking him in the mornings. If you wanted to sleep with him, you could have told me, no? Why did you have to sneak into his bed like a thief in your own house? Just to pretend in front of me that you were doing some great sacrifice, like preserving your cunt for me? Why?"
Shocked by my words, a voice escaped Meera's throat. She was too stunned to even blink her eyes, let alone speak a word.
"You must be wondering how I know." I went on. "But I just know the truth."
"What truth are you blabbering about, Krish? Is this what you think of me?"
"Meera, stop pretending now. Your refusal won't work."
"Why do you think I have slept with him when you were lying injured?"
She asked again, and I was getting irritated by her acting now.
"I have heard the sound from your room. I have heard your voice. I know how you scream when Desai's prick is inside you."
"Watch your words, Krish." Desai broke his silence. "Have some respect for your family. I understand you are angry, but you can still talk nicely."
"You shut up, Desai. Enough of your advice."
I scoffed.
"You have become insane, Krish," Meera said in a cracked voice. "You have dipped yourself too deep into this fantasy shit. That's why you are hearing such sounds everywhere. And your head is filled with only one thing; that's why you can't say what is real and what is your fantasy. Just go to a doctor and treat yourself."
I forced a laugh like a maniac. "Now you want to frame me as a mental. What an easy way to protect your secret." I turned to Desai.
"Desai, be a man and admit the truth. Didn't you have sex with her two weeks ago?"
Desai stared at me for a moment and then shook his head sideways, “no, Krish. And please don’t make this type of allegation about Meera.”
I stared back at him. I stared back at his denial. I knew he was lying. But I had no evidence to prove it.
Meera slowly walked out to the dining hall and had some water from the jar on the dining table. "My head is like spinning." She blurted and proceeded to the hall without looking at me. I walked out of the room but I didn't know how to approach Meera. I went to the dining hall and sat on a dining chair. I could see Meera from there.
Desai too came out of the room and walked toward Meera.
"Don't come to talk to me," Meera told him straight away. "You are no different from Krish. Why would I trust you? I can't trust you unless you make me believe."
"But how?"
Meera stared at his face for a second.
"Call him," she said. "Call your friend and talk to him. Tell him that I have agreed to sleep with him. I want to hear his response."
"But how can I say that to him?" Desai refused. "He didn't ask me that. It will be awkward."
"It will be extremely awkward if you don't talk to him. And don't tell me you don't talk like that to men. I know you are very keen to speak to Krish that way. Just call Piyush and put it on speaker mode. Tell him that Meera has agreed to your wish. And Krish too."
"Please, Meera. I can't do this."
Desai said. He looked pathetic. His game was falling flat.
"Then leave. I say, leave now."
Meera ordered.
Desai took a deep breath and exhaled through his mouth. He looked confused and indecisive. Meera was just staring at him. Nothing was going to work against the cleverness of my wife.
"Just leave, Desai. You don't have a choice."
I said; my voice loud enough to be heard from the dining hall.
"Okay, I will call him," Desai said quickly. "There's nothing bigger than this," He blurted and pulled out his phone.
I got up from my chair and walked over to him.
Desai dialled Piyush's number and put it on speaker mode.
"Just tell him that you have good news; Meera has agreed, and ask him when is he coming," Meera instructed.
Desai nodded.
The call was picked up from the other end and I heard Piyush's voice.
"Hello."
"Hi, Piyush. I have good news, my friend. She has agreed. Meera has agreed. When are you visiting?"
"What?"
Piyush's voice simply conveyed the impression that he had no idea about what Desai was talking about.
"Meera has agreed, Piyush," Desai said again and looked at Meera, gesturing ‘what next’.
Meera grabbed the phone and spoke to it. "I am here with him, Piyush. Are you coming to meet us? How about this weekend?"
"Hey, Meera. How are you? Are you...uh...where is... okay, leave it. Pardon me, I didn't get you, dear. I can surely come to meet you this weekend. But why would I meet you? And what is that you have agreed to him?"
Piyush's response made Desai happy instantly. As he looked at me he had a smug smile on his face.
"I'm talking about what you and Susheel have discussed about me. Are you having naughty dreams about me, Piyush?"
Meera asked.
"What are you saying, Meera? We haven't discussed anything about you. I didn't even know that he knows about the other night."
Piyush said.
"Which night?" Meera asked curiously.
"The night when I stayed at your place."
"What happened on that night?"
There was a momentary silence from the other end.
"Meera, I haven't told a single word about it, to anyone. Not even Desai."
Meera's rising curiosity was visible on her face. Even Desai was surprised. And I was the only one who understood what Piyush was talking about, and I knew this was now going unexpected ways.
"I'm asking what you know about that night and how did you come to know. Can you please tell me, Piyush?" Meera asked again.
"I know about what is going on between you and Desai. Krish is also aware that I know."
Piyush's reply had both Desai and Meera looking at me. I knew I had landed in hot waters, yet again. Meera turned her attention back to the phone.
"But why did he tell you about it? Do you have any idea?"
"He didn't have to tell me. I heard the sounds from your room and I questioned Krish. He confessed. But I promised him that I will never talk anything about it, not even to Desai. I wonder why he had to tell you about it. Where is he by the way?"
"Thank you, Piyush. I'm sorry I had to disturb you. We'll talk later. Bye." Meera disconnected the phone and looked at me. Her eyes were filled with disbelief and disappointment.
"So, one more friend of yours has learnt about your whore wife," Meera said. "this proves one thing, Krish. When Desai said Piyush wished to sleep with me, you knew it was possible. And you would have already started fantasising about Piyush entering my bedroom."
"No, Meera. No." I wanted to explain but I was at loss for words.
"I'm sorry, Susheel. This moron is just another level of a perverted mind." She blurted to Desai, discarding me. She got up and went back to her room. I began to follow her, even though I didn't know how to calm her down.
"Stop following me everywhere, Krish. Give me some space."
Meera said and disappeared into her room. I stood there like a lost soul for a few minutes before turning back.
A few minutes later, Desai went to Meera's room and knocked on the door.
"Krish, please!" I heard Meera's voice from the inside.
"It's me, Meera. Open the door. We need to talk."
Desai said. I watched on as Meera opened the door. Desai took her back to the hall and sat her on a sofa. He then turned to me, "come on here, Krish. You guys need to talk."
And he showed me the other sofa to sit down on. He had become the man in charge.
"Are you happy now, Desai?" I asked Desai.
"No, my friend. I didn't mean any of this. I only wanted to convey to you that your certain practices are crossing the limits. Even though I was responsible for it, when I proposed the idea of allowing Piyush with your wife, I wished you denied me. I was running a test, intended to prove you are compatible with each other. But you not only failed the test but also proved that you are much worse than I thought."
"You are just the same guy I met on the first day, Desai," I said. "I can feel it, no matter what."
"It doesn't matter what you feel about me, Krish. It's time you have introspection about yourself."
I pretended to laugh him off. But I had started it already. I could feel it from inside that I had fucked it up badly. Not just once but many times. The past was coming back to haunt me.
"You must be wondering why I tried to run a test on you. Yes, you have the right to doubt my intention, Krish. But if you want to know the truth, I will have to talk about everything. It is no more secret for any of us that you wanted to watch me having sex with Meera. I have been asking Meera to let us fulfil this fantasy. Friday night you guys allowed me to watch you in bed. Still, Meera maintained that she cannot let you watch her with me. I was very curious to know the reason behind it. She told me two things. One, she was not comfortable with the idea of you witnessing the level of sexual intimacy she and I share. The other reason was something about your past, Krish. About your cuckold nature, it is. You have been expressing your acceptance - and excitement - to see your wife with other men for a few years. She told me about an incident that happened during a train journey. During that journey, you met a young man named Jai and you guys played a roleplaying game with him. You pretended to be a total stranger while allowing Meera to flirt with Jai. Things escalated to the level of Meera and Jai having some intimate moments in her seat. You were able to watch some action between them and you were very excited. When the trip ended, Meera told you about how Jai had later forced his way into the toilet when she went to the loo, and how he convinced her to be intimate with him. She had promised him many things while flirting with him even though she did not mean to cross the line. In the toilet, she let him fulfil one of Jai's dirtiest fantasies, which was to perform oral sex on her, that too from behind. She was thrilled by the kinky act. When Meera told you this next day, you were equally thrilled and horny enough to try out the fun yourself. She was going to tell you but after seeing you becoming so horny for what she did with a stranger in that bathroom, she held herself back. What she didn't tell you is, she had sex with that guy, Krish."
Desai shook his head a couple of times after saying the last sentence as if he thought I might not believe him. I still struggled to believe it, but I knew I had to believe it. I forgot to blink as I kept staring at him.
And I didn't dare to look at Meera.
Desai went on.
"What she didn't tell you is that while she was standing bending forward over the washbasin, Jai stood up behind her and shoved his dick into her. She tried to protest, but her guards were already down. She could only submit to the pleasure the moment was giving her."
Desai paused, not wanting to share further details. I looked at Meera.
"Why didn't you tell me, Meera?"
"She would have told you, Krish," Desai said, "had you been ready to listen and understand the guilt she was carrying. She learnt one thing about her that night, Krish. That you could turn her into anything. You could turn her into a whore, pardon my words – I’m merely putting her fears into words. And she had been unable to find a way to say no to you. When she found me through you she initially resisted because she didn't want to go back to face the same thing she had learnt that night. But you never chose to let her sleep peacefully. Your fantasies draw her to my world and pushed her to do things she had never thought she would enjoy. She has grown to the level of admitting she has enjoyed sex with me. And she knows that it will not disappoint you. Her worst fear was seeing you rise to another level of being you. That level would be to find another man or to find another way to use her body to fulfil your fantasies. Letting you watch her having sex with me would not satisfy you. Because you had already watched her doing it with someone else."
Desai's voice had lost its tone as he delivered the last line. His voice carried a different tone that told me how much he hated telling me all this.
I had nothing to say. I too had lost my energy to speak. I only threw a glance at Meera. I saw tears running down her cheeks.
"This is such a beautiful moment I don't want to spoil it. The thought of it makes me hate myself. And I don't want you to start hating me this very night."
I remembered her words from the other night. It now made sense.
My head went down, unable to hold its weight on my neck.
Desai spoke after spending nearly ten minutes in silence to regain his composure.
"She told me she has been part of this. And she cannot put all the blame on you. But it also means she has to live with remorse. Krish, you have to realise that living with remorse is not an ideal life. It is making her married life just hell. Your married life is falling apart, Krish. And with my test, I wanted to give her some hope that you are not what she feared. But you proved me wrong; proved her worst fears right."
"You should have talked to me, Meera.” I said in the end, “from the first day. Even if you think I would be excited by something that hurts you and makes you remorseful, you could have expressed your true thoughts to me. You could have told me it didn't go as we wanted. I would have understood."
"No, Krish." Meera broke her silence. "You would have been sorry for what happened, but you wouldn't learn from it. You know, even when I was walking with you in those fantasies, letting my guard or going with the flow - whatever it is - the thought that there will always be a new man has been one of my worst fears. And that fear has now become true. It's Piyush, in your mind now. After that, you'd start dreaming of watching me in his bed. After that, you'll want to find a man who could do it with you. There's no end to your fantasy. But I can't, Krish. I can't."
There was no energy left in me to argue. I got up and stood in front of her.
"I am sorry for making you feel this worse. I didn't mean to hurt you, baby. We should have talked a little more about this. But anyway I guess we can do it now. When I said yes to Desai's idea of letting you sleep with Piyush, I intended to stop him from getting too closer to you. I knew you would never agree to sleep with Piyush."
"How can I trust that, Krish?" Meera looked up, wiping her tears. "You have a history of encouraging me."
"Because he is what he is," Desai said like adding fuel to the burning coal.
I looked at him hatefully.
"You are trying to separate me and Meera. I know what you are doing, Desai. Of course, you are right; love can die in the wrong hands. But I love her. My love for her will never end."
I said.
"Wait," Meera raised her hand. "How did you know that? How did you hear that? You were outside when he told me that."
Desai looked at her and shook his head.
"Yeah, there's something wrong; even I’ve been thinking of it. Isn't that door soundproof?" He pointed to Meera's bedroom. "Have you done something, Krish?"
"You bugged it?"
Meera asked. I knew they were going to find it. I had nothing to hide.
"No, I didn't bug it, Meera," I said. "But I have drilled holes in the door so that I could hear you from outside. That's why I said I heard you having sex with him, two weeks ago. Now, do you understand why I was saying what I was saying?"
Meera stared at me for a moment.
“What have you become Krish? I really wonder if you were faking the injury. You are so fake; you doubted me. You had doubts about Susheel. That's why you drilled the holes.”
“I didn't drill the holes because of the doubt. It was just for listening...”
“What's the difference, Krish? Both are the same. Oh, God.”
She cried.
I thought she was playing the drama to deviate from the accusation. She hadn’t still answered my question.
“Why did you promise me and then proceeded to sleep with him?”
Meera gave me a look that I felt would burn me.
“You've become a walking statue with only one thing in your mind, Krish. That's the picture of your wife and another person, naked, fucking all the time like rats. What do I look like to you? A whore? Yes. Call me that. I'm a whore. And leave me from this. Once a whore is always a whore. Leave me.”
I was stunned as fate had my wife say those words. It was something that Desai had shouted at me long time ago, when I responded to his indecent proposal physically.
And now my destiny had found a way to make my wife repeat the same line to silence me. It felt like a blow to my psyche and I fell back into the couch.
Meera's eyes still followed me, and they were filled with disappointment. You need to see a doctor, Krish. You are thinking too much about one thing and one thing only. That's why you started hearing such sounds. If you had heard us having sex, why didn't you simply confront me? What were you waiting for until now? Were you not comfortable talking about it? Or, were you enjoying it? Oh, yes, I think that's a possibility. You were fantasising about us. It's okay, I know you do that a lot, but you should stop when you can't say what is real and what your imagination is, Krish."
Meera's words were flowing freely and every word she spoke was pushing me down into a hole of humiliation. I had no answer to any of her allegations. Because I felt she was speaking the truth.
It was hard to accept. I shook my head in disbelief.
Was I dreaming those sounds?
I had heard it clearly. But I hadn't seen them. I hadn't seen them coming or leaving.
Were they my imaginations?
I had no answer. Or I hated the answer my brain was cooking up for me.
"I am not surprised, Krish," Meera said in a slow voice. "If you had this in your head, then I can't be surprised if you said okay to the idea of me and Piyush having sex. Or anyone you see on the road."
She took a long breath before continuing. "I am leaving, Krish. I am packing my bags and moving out. Give me an hour. This is the end of us. End of our marriage."
I could say nothing. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. The worst episodes of my life were happening again.
(to be cont'd)
As they walked out Meera was asking Desai about the inauguration event of his new security agency. It was going to happen in a few weeks. He was yet to finalise the Bollywood celebrity for the inauguration.
"But you guys both are going to be there among the chief guests. I have the plan to say a few words about Krish, for he must be credited for guiding me into this field."
Meera looked at me happily.
"Meera, this is an opportunity to meet your favourite actor. Suggest the name to him."
I said.
Meera looked at Desai.
"But I am not sure he is going to invite an actor or actress. It must be an actress and I have no interest in meeting anyone." She said with a teasing smile.
"Oh, so you're interested in meeting men only."
I teased her.
"No, a security agency should better be inaugurated by an action-hero-type actor. If you want to suggest, it's good."
Desai said.
"No, Susheel. I am not going to put my hand in your decisions."
Meera said.
"My life is circling you. I would like you to make a few decisions for me."
"Is that it? Then I will think about making a suggestion."
Meera said happily.
After lunch, I sat in the hall and started watching a live cricket match on TV. Meera was sitting on the other sofa with her legs at the other end of it. She had her laptop on her lap and even though she was busy working on it, she joined me to cheer on the key moments in the game. I suggested she could work at night.
"I don't think it will be possible. Susheel will be here, won't he?" She asked casually with her eyes fixed on the laptop screen.
I couldn't believe how she was blatantly telling me she had the night reserved for Desai. As if she had already made up her mind that she was going to be busy with him.
After a while, Desai joined us. He sat on Meera's sofa and lifted her legs to keep them on his lap.
Meera said she was finishing some work and asked Desai to help himself with the juice in the fridge. Desai said he would have the juice later.
And soon he started playing with her feet. First, he stroked around her calves, making Meera admit that it felt good.
But then Desai ran a circle under her foot, tickling her.
"Stop tickling me Susheel." She warned. "You will get a kick out of my reflex."
"I wouldn't mind it."
He said and even lifted her feet to land a kiss on an ankle.
"You have beautiful feet."
"Say something new, darling. I’ve heard it many times from you."
Meera revealed. I thought it was slipped from her mouth. She silently worked on the laptop afterwards. Desai continued with his naughtiness. Meera tried to pull her leg back but Desai held them tight. Eventually, Meera kept the laptop aside and jumped on him, to scold him. But Desai put his arm around her comfortably, holding her into a freeze. I was suddenly drawn completely into the action. Meera was staring at his eyes, and he was staring back at her.
I even felt she would submit to him to kiss him.
But she moved away, somehow.
She gathered herself and shifted onto the other sofa. However, she kept glancing at him and smiling at him. She was getting warmer, for sure. And I was struggling to hold my face straight for I was getting annoyed. I wanted to tell them to move away.
Enough was enough.
I wanted them to take a break from this. We had come a long way forward than we had intended and now things were not as fun as they were presuming.
But I didn't say anything.
I was waiting for him to share his fantasy with her.
"I have read a couple of articles about his nature."
He had told Meera about me. And when he shares the fantasy of allowing Piyush to sleep with her, she would learn his true nature too. She would find who the man of fantasies was. She would also learn the true meaning of dark fantasies which he had mentioned a day ago.
A few minutes later, Desai asked me if I would like to have tea.
"I'll make one for us all." He volunteered and began to get up. But Meera stopped him.
"Don't even try entering my kitchen for that. I know you can't even boil an egg."
She said and got up.
"I am a businessman. But I am trying to be a family man. Will you teach me, please?"
Desai asked.
"Yeah, come with me. Today I will teach you how to make tea. Tomorrow I will teach you how to boil an egg."
Meera said with a smile.
"Oh, that's so great."
"I wonder what you meant when you suggested having a night camp in the jungle with self-cooked food," Meera said while walking to the kitchen. Desai followed her.
"Krish will also be there, won't he? I'm sure he will lend us a helping hand." He said.
"Mmm..." Meera laughed a little. "You want to get my husband to cook for you while you have all the fun with his wife?"
I couldn't hear Desai's reply as they both disappeared into the kitchen.
I felt she had already started treating him like a husband.
My patience was running short. I was waiting for the moment Desai grew confident to share his fantasy with her.
His true face.
That was all I needed.
I was sure Meera would be shocked if she heard Desai's proposal. She would realise that Desai was no different from me. Every moment he had played along with my fantasy, it was bringing out his true nature as well. The truth that he was also evolving into a cuckold mind would shatter all the manly impressions he had built up in front of her. She would understand all the nice things he was telling her, all those pep talks he was giving her - they were meant to get her to agree to his secret desire to spread her legs for another man. He had already told her about keeping a dark fantasy; now she would learn what his dark fantasies were going to be.
And it wouldn't be tough to see that his dark fantasies are far more dangerous than mine. Desai was not her husband. And he would never have the binding that I ever had with her. He would walk into her room another day and tell her that he has brought another friend. He would look into her eyes and challenge her, 'you slept with Piyush, didn't you? Why can't you split your legs for this friend too? What difference does it make to you?’
Meera would be clever enough to understand that she would not have any answer.
She was going to tell him to go fuck off. I knew.
After lunch when I found an opportunity, I went to the kitchen. I stood watching Meera doing the dishes. She asked me if I could arrange the plates into the pulled-out tray.
"What are you thinking, Krish?"
She asked me when she was done washing the plates. "Are you not happy that Susheel is staying with us tonight?"
"I thought we are going to be together tonight," I said.
"Who told you we won't be?" Meera smiled.
I thought she was joking with me.
"Are you going to sleep with me tonight? And what about him?"
"If you don't want me to sleep with him, then I will sleep with you."
"What about him?"
"What about him? He had his chance two times. Two back-to-back nights."
"But he would be gone tomorrow. He might not be back very soon."
"So what?" Meera wiped her wet hands with the hand towel and grabbed my hand. "You are my husband. Not him."
You will realise it again when he tells you about his dream tonight. I said in my mind.
But for that, she had to be with him. I made a quick calculation in my mind.
"He must be thinking that he is gonna have another special night."
I said.
"He told me that. But I told him no."
"Why?"
"Shouldn't I have told him that? Why are you talking like this? Do you want me to sleep with him every night just because he's here? I want you too, that too, just you only."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean to say I won't come back to you if I went to sleep with him..."
"But on Friday you..."
"I know." She interrupted me. "But it's different. For you, I'd like to be the exclusive thing. Not a used one."
"Used one." I laughed a little. "You are crazy to say such things about you."
"I'm starting to think crazy things, Krish. I have a feeling that our life is falling apart. We need to regroup before it's late. I want to be with you tonight, no matter what. Desai can come back another day."
I didn't want Desai to come back another day.
I moved closer and put my left arm around her shoulder.
"But I don't want him to leave like that. You can spend another night. It's okay. But he shouldn't come back for a few months. We will have time to regroup."
I said.
"Tonight, with him..." Meera looked down. She was smiling. But I wasn't sure if it was a welcome one.
"Do you have anything else in your mind, Krish?" She looked up.
We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds.
"Will you let me watch tonight?" I asked.
"Krish... no," Meera said quickly.
"Please. He will be gone in the morning."
"Why do you want to watch it, Krish?"
"Because it's a fantasy you guys have been unknowingly teasing about and also when I see you guys flirting I feel like being left out."
"You are not being left out. I will be sharing a lot of details with you... about my nights with him. That will be great for you... I promise you."
"Please, I want to watch. Are you scared that I will hate you for that?"
"I am not scared of that, Krish. Because I know you will never hate me for that. And don't tell me that I am letting you out. About Friday night I want something to tell you. I thought I would talk about it later but I feel it's too much for me to hide from you."
"What is it?"
I asked intriguingly.
"That night you were excited. I mean we both were excited but you were too excited. I mean I could experience it and you finished too soon, in the end. Do you remember?"
I was already hooked. I nodded. "Yes. I think yes, I came too soon that night."
"Yeah. But I sensed it right away. It was okay but you know... I also didn't feel it was right because Susheel was watching. I didn't want you to feel bad in front of him. The way he was looking at me... I was sure he was there to take me to his room after you. So giving you more time was out of the question, though I didn't think about that much at that time. The only option that I had was to pretend that I was content with what I got there... I mean... How can I tell you..." Meera was struggling to put it into words. She was looking down repeatedly. She felt like a child confessing a mistake.
"Did you fake it, baby?"
I asked. I didn't want her to struggle anymore.
Her head was down even more. I could not see her eyes.
"Baby?" I put my finger under her chin to lift her face. Her eyes were closed. And they were teary when she opened them.
"I am sorry, Krish. I... I am extremely sorry. I did it because you know... how good Desai is at giving me such pleasure. And I didn't want you to compare yourself with him and feel bad about it. Don't ever..." She stopped as the tears dropped out of her eyes.
I was stunned.
I was not shocked by what she had just told me but by the fact she chose to confess it. She did not tell me the truth about Desai catching her faking it. But she had at least told me the truth about faking it.
I put my other hand around her and held her close.
"Have you ever had to do this thing... I mean this faking thing on my bed?"
"No," she said quickly and looked up into my eyes. "I never had to. And I don't think I will ever do that unless you put me in such situations."
"Next time when I put you in such a situation, please do scream louder. Entertain him, as much as you want."
I said with a smile. Meera laughed.
"Idiot. So you have no plan to stop. Is that what you're saying?"
We laughed together. She looked more gorgeous than ever when her eyes were shining on me.
I ended up hugging her tight and thanking her.
"You are my lollipop. The sweetest thing in my life. I know you will be there for me always."
"Don't add too much sugar, I'm warning you," Meera said and pushed me away, softly. "Don't expect me to let you watch okay?"
I laughed.
Meera took a wiping cloth and started cleaning the kitchen countertop. I was about to go back to the hall when Meera turned to me.
"I was really scared you'd be pissed off. You are wonderful, Krish."
I loved what she said.
"I'm proud that you said the truth. Desai is a rascal. Imagine him finding it out and revealing the same thing to me. I would be pissed off then." I said, watching her face. Her face was getting serious.
"Did you ever think we did a mistake by allowing him into our life?"
She asked. I caught her throwing a glance toward the door. She was probably checking if Desai was around. Desai was in his room and I was sure he was not going to overhear our conversation.
"Sometimes, yes. But other times I feel we would have found someone else if it wasn't him."
Meera stared at me. She stared at me long enough to make me wonder if I said something wrong.
"But whoever it is, it's temporary. Right?" I asked. "We are the same old couple, aren't we?"
"It's a question that I have already asked myself a hundred times, Krish. Whenever I find those heavenly- I would like to be cheeky here - those heavenly moments with another man, I used to think about coming back to you... how it would be. Especially with Susheel, the question used to scare me. Will I remain the same wife? Will you remain the same husband? Initially, it used to scare me. But you know, if you've taught me one thing in my whole life, that's to seek pleasure from your scare. Some people call it love for adventure. That may be the reason why it stopped worrying me and instead started to thrill me. And you know, people change. Our perception of anything can change. More than the event, more than the moments - even those heavenly moments - I'm thrilled about coming back to you, Krish. Because in my mind I never had become someone else's woman. I have always been yours, Krish."
Her voice was becoming softer and lovelier. I could no longer stand and watch her. In a sweeping motion, I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. She kissed me back too. I pushed back against the countertop and allowed my kiss to become intense. Our tongues and lips danced together for a few seconds which left us both gasping for air.
"Tonight, I'm sleeping with you only." Meera blurted in the end.
I didn't want to tell her another word.
However, as the day progressed to the evening, I found myself getting tensed about the same thing I was hopefully waiting for.
What if Desai manages to convince Meera?
I was aware that Meera had a liking for Piyush's funny conversations. What if Desai talked to her in a way that I was probably not imagining?
What if Meera agrees to sleep with Piyush?
I suddenly felt like I did a mistake by agreeing to Desai's wild fantasy. One thing was sure. It was not just a fantasy by Desai but that of Piyush also.
Piyush was in awe of Meera's beauty.
As far as I understood, Piyush would have started dreaming about Meera when he learnt that I was willingly letting my wife sleep with Desai. He would have then started dreaming about having sex with my wife. He had heard her moaning with pleasure in Desai's bed. From that day, he would have started dreaming of gifting her all that pleasure himself.
No man is what we see in the daylight. I felt.
He had promised me that he would never talk to Desai about it. But he not only discussed it with Desai but also asked him to set up a date with Meera.
The more I thought about it, I found my confidence diminishing. I could only see a fifty per cent of chance for Meera kicking out Desai. For the other fifty per cent, I saw Meera and Piyush walking into her bedroom.
Am I going to witness another rich and married man filling my wife's pussy with this cum?
It was a question that was going to deprive me of sleep. But it was too late for now.
Eventually, I asked Desai when he was planning to ask Meera about it.
“Tonight, while having sex with her.”
Desai said straightaway.
He was so sure about it.
“But tonight she's going to be with me.”
I said.
Desai looked at me in surprise. I loved his reaction. He was surely expecting one last chance to screw my wife.
"Oh, please. Don't do this, bro."
"What, you had your chance for two straight nights. It's time I claim my wife back."
"I didn't have sex with her yesterday, Krish."
"Bad luck. But she has already told me she's going to be with me tonight."
"I'll talk to her."
"Do you think she will change her mind?"
"This is my last chance. She's got a kind heart."
I laughed it off. I felt I was slowly gaining the upper hand over him.
However, all hell broke loose just before dinner time.
I had gone for a shower when Desai found an opportunity to talk to Meera. I don't know what he told her and how he told her. But the reply was delivered to my doorstep. Quite literally.
I heard the knock on the shower.
"Krish. Just finish it and come out."
From Meera's shaky voice itself, I felt Desai had talked about it.
Is she gonna ask me to kick him out of our house?
I rushed to wrap a towel around my waist and opened the door.
Meera was standing there. And her eyes were just fire.
"Krish! Did you say yes to this moron?"
She pointed backwards. I saw Desai standing by the door.
"Look at me!" Meera yelled. "Did you say yes?"
"To what?"
"This moron wants me to sleep with his friend. And you told him yes?"
I tried to laugh, but I quickly realised that I shouldn't.
"I didn't mean to..."
"Did he discuss it with you?"
Meera interrupted me.
"Yes, he had told me about it. And I told him to..."
"You are okay with it."
Suddenly I knew I was in hot waters.
"I... I told him to ask you."
"What the fuck you were thinking, Krish?" She took a step forward and pushed me. I held onto the washroom door to avoid falling. "You don't have a say in that? What is your choice then? Is it okay if I sleep with anyone he brings home?" Meera went on.
I had lost my voice. More than the realisation that I had fucked it up, the way she was reacting stunned me.
"Oh, God!" Meera pressed her palms onto her face. She was crying.
"What is happening in my life? I have lost count of this." She looked up and yelled again, "I have lost count of your mind games, Krish!"
"Wait, Meera," I said. "I didn't mean to ask you to consider it. I just wanted you to understand that he is nurturing such a crazy idea for you."
"Wow! That's your security when things go south. Stop changing the plate. I just know what you are. Krish!"
Meera said and began to walk out of the room.
"Meera, listen. I didn't mean what you think. Trust me."
I said. But she had already gone.
Desai was staring at me.
"You just wanted her to understand that I'm nurturing such crazy ideas for her, didn't you? Wow!"
"Desai, you have to stay with me in this. I have no plan to get my wife to sleep with your friend."
I said.
"And what about people you meet in a random place?"
He asked.
I was stunned.
"What do you mean?"
"I meant exactly what you heard, Krish!" He said. "Wear something, Krish. We need to talk."
He added and walked out.
I hurried to find some clothes and wore them. My mind was rushing faster to make sense of what he had just told me.
"What about people you meet in a random place?"
I knew Desai wasn't just throwing a silly claim to distract me. There was something in mind that was enough to make him believe he could take me on. But why?
Is he trying to create a rift between me and Meera?
The thought crossed my mind and I was stunned by it. I remembered all the brainwashing pep talk I had heard him giving to my wife since Friday night.
Bastard!
I screamed in my mind and rushed out of my room. There was no one in the hall.
And I could hear them talking in Meera's room. I approached the closed door and waited a moment to hear what they were talking about.
"Meera you love him, I know that. But love can die in the hands of a wrong person." I heard Desai's voice.
What the fuck! I said myself. He was not talking to solve the problem. He was trying to brainwash her.
"You are mirroring his justification. How could I trust you?"
"Like I trust you, Meera."
Meera's reply was silence.
I had waited enough. I pushed the door. It was bolted from the inside. I knocked on the door and Desai opened it after a few seconds. Meera was sitting on the bed. I looked at her and then turned to Desai.
"What are you doing, Desai?"
I asked, without hiding my anger.
"I'm sorry Krish. I did what I had to do."
"You should leave," I raised my voice. "You should leave now. Else you'll see my other face."
"I have seen your other face, Krish." He said nonchalantly.
I took a step towards him. I was preparing to charge him with my next step.
"You're crossing all the limits. Today our friendship ends," I said.
"Leave him, Krish." Meera interfered. "Why are you going against him? This is between you and me."
"Are you trying to protect him, Meera? He's trying to make us fight."
"He's merely showing the truth."
"What truth?"
"The truth, that you have gone too far, Krish," Desai said and moved closer to Meera.
"She deserves better."
"What the fuck you are talking about, Susheel Desai?" I yelled again and scratched my head. "Will you tell me what is this all about? You said something about letting her sleep with random people. When did I do that, you tell me, bastard? When did I do that?"
"He's talking about Jai, Krish!" Meera said quietly. Her voice was shivering.
I was stunned. I stared at her for a moment.
"Jai?"
"The random guy we've met on a train. That's him."
"What about him? When did I..." I began to say and paused. I was at loss for words. So was Meera. She slowly turned her head down.
I looked at Desai.
"You don't know the whole story, Krish," Desai said. "But she has told me everything about that night in the train. How you met a military man and made her flirt with him, yourself pretending to be a stranger. And you let him kiss him. Be intimate with him."
"So what? It was something we did together. We've done the same things with you too. What a hypocrite you are, Desai! If I hadn't done those things with you, you would have still been dreaming of her and jerking off in your office chair. How many times have you told me things like we're a special, special couple, just because of that? And now you dare to blame me? It shows your true character. You're a chameleon whose best-known trick is to change colours. What else are you, Desai? Tell me what you want."
"It also shows your character too, Krish. Tell me one thing. Why didn't you tell me to walk away when I suggested letting my friend sleep with Meera?"
"I said this already. I wanted to expose your true face to her."
"But you've exposed yourself, Krish."
I wanted to kick him. I had almost begun to raise my feet but Meera interfered before I did.
"Why would I trust you, Krish? Do you have anything to prove you were just testing him? It will be even harder for me to believe that you didn't get a hard-on when he proposed the idea of watching Piyush fuck your wife."
I didn't have anything to say.
"Meera...I don't have any evidence. But you can't put everything on me and just behave like a chaste woman."
I blurted.
"What did you say, Krish?" Meera turned to me. "Go on, put something on me then. When did I behave like a chaste woman?
"Don't make me talk, Meera," I warned.
"Talk your mind, Krish! I dare you to talk."
"Meera you were very close with Desai when I was lying on the bed after the accident. Way more than you were pretending. How many times have you slept with him, behind my back?"
"What!" Meera's voice was a cry. "Have you lost your mind?"
"Don't shout, Meera. I know you have been fucking him in the mornings. If you wanted to sleep with him, you could have told me, no? Why did you have to sneak into his bed like a thief in your own house? Just to pretend in front of me that you were doing some great sacrifice, like preserving your cunt for me? Why?"
Shocked by my words, a voice escaped Meera's throat. She was too stunned to even blink her eyes, let alone speak a word.
"You must be wondering how I know." I went on. "But I just know the truth."
"What truth are you blabbering about, Krish? Is this what you think of me?"
"Meera, stop pretending now. Your refusal won't work."
"Why do you think I have slept with him when you were lying injured?"
She asked again, and I was getting irritated by her acting now.
"I have heard the sound from your room. I have heard your voice. I know how you scream when Desai's prick is inside you."
"Watch your words, Krish." Desai broke his silence. "Have some respect for your family. I understand you are angry, but you can still talk nicely."
"You shut up, Desai. Enough of your advice."
I scoffed.
"You have become insane, Krish," Meera said in a cracked voice. "You have dipped yourself too deep into this fantasy shit. That's why you are hearing such sounds everywhere. And your head is filled with only one thing; that's why you can't say what is real and what is your fantasy. Just go to a doctor and treat yourself."
I forced a laugh like a maniac. "Now you want to frame me as a mental. What an easy way to protect your secret." I turned to Desai.
"Desai, be a man and admit the truth. Didn't you have sex with her two weeks ago?"
Desai stared at me for a moment and then shook his head sideways, “no, Krish. And please don’t make this type of allegation about Meera.”
I stared back at him. I stared back at his denial. I knew he was lying. But I had no evidence to prove it.
Meera slowly walked out to the dining hall and had some water from the jar on the dining table. "My head is like spinning." She blurted and proceeded to the hall without looking at me. I walked out of the room but I didn't know how to approach Meera. I went to the dining hall and sat on a dining chair. I could see Meera from there.
Desai too came out of the room and walked toward Meera.
"Don't come to talk to me," Meera told him straight away. "You are no different from Krish. Why would I trust you? I can't trust you unless you make me believe."
"But how?"
Meera stared at his face for a second.
"Call him," she said. "Call your friend and talk to him. Tell him that I have agreed to sleep with him. I want to hear his response."
"But how can I say that to him?" Desai refused. "He didn't ask me that. It will be awkward."
"It will be extremely awkward if you don't talk to him. And don't tell me you don't talk like that to men. I know you are very keen to speak to Krish that way. Just call Piyush and put it on speaker mode. Tell him that Meera has agreed to your wish. And Krish too."
"Please, Meera. I can't do this."
Desai said. He looked pathetic. His game was falling flat.
"Then leave. I say, leave now."
Meera ordered.
Desai took a deep breath and exhaled through his mouth. He looked confused and indecisive. Meera was just staring at him. Nothing was going to work against the cleverness of my wife.
"Just leave, Desai. You don't have a choice."
I said; my voice loud enough to be heard from the dining hall.
"Okay, I will call him," Desai said quickly. "There's nothing bigger than this," He blurted and pulled out his phone.
I got up from my chair and walked over to him.
Desai dialled Piyush's number and put it on speaker mode.
"Just tell him that you have good news; Meera has agreed, and ask him when is he coming," Meera instructed.
Desai nodded.
The call was picked up from the other end and I heard Piyush's voice.
"Hello."
"Hi, Piyush. I have good news, my friend. She has agreed. Meera has agreed. When are you visiting?"
"What?"
Piyush's voice simply conveyed the impression that he had no idea about what Desai was talking about.
"Meera has agreed, Piyush," Desai said again and looked at Meera, gesturing ‘what next’.
Meera grabbed the phone and spoke to it. "I am here with him, Piyush. Are you coming to meet us? How about this weekend?"
"Hey, Meera. How are you? Are you...uh...where is... okay, leave it. Pardon me, I didn't get you, dear. I can surely come to meet you this weekend. But why would I meet you? And what is that you have agreed to him?"
Piyush's response made Desai happy instantly. As he looked at me he had a smug smile on his face.
"I'm talking about what you and Susheel have discussed about me. Are you having naughty dreams about me, Piyush?"
Meera asked.
"What are you saying, Meera? We haven't discussed anything about you. I didn't even know that he knows about the other night."
Piyush said.
"Which night?" Meera asked curiously.
"The night when I stayed at your place."
"What happened on that night?"
There was a momentary silence from the other end.
"Meera, I haven't told a single word about it, to anyone. Not even Desai."
Meera's rising curiosity was visible on her face. Even Desai was surprised. And I was the only one who understood what Piyush was talking about, and I knew this was now going unexpected ways.
"I'm asking what you know about that night and how did you come to know. Can you please tell me, Piyush?" Meera asked again.
"I know about what is going on between you and Desai. Krish is also aware that I know."
Piyush's reply had both Desai and Meera looking at me. I knew I had landed in hot waters, yet again. Meera turned her attention back to the phone.
"But why did he tell you about it? Do you have any idea?"
"He didn't have to tell me. I heard the sounds from your room and I questioned Krish. He confessed. But I promised him that I will never talk anything about it, not even to Desai. I wonder why he had to tell you about it. Where is he by the way?"
"Thank you, Piyush. I'm sorry I had to disturb you. We'll talk later. Bye." Meera disconnected the phone and looked at me. Her eyes were filled with disbelief and disappointment.
"So, one more friend of yours has learnt about your whore wife," Meera said. "this proves one thing, Krish. When Desai said Piyush wished to sleep with me, you knew it was possible. And you would have already started fantasising about Piyush entering my bedroom."
"No, Meera. No." I wanted to explain but I was at loss for words.
"I'm sorry, Susheel. This moron is just another level of a perverted mind." She blurted to Desai, discarding me. She got up and went back to her room. I began to follow her, even though I didn't know how to calm her down.
"Stop following me everywhere, Krish. Give me some space."
Meera said and disappeared into her room. I stood there like a lost soul for a few minutes before turning back.
A few minutes later, Desai went to Meera's room and knocked on the door.
"Krish, please!" I heard Meera's voice from the inside.
"It's me, Meera. Open the door. We need to talk."
Desai said. I watched on as Meera opened the door. Desai took her back to the hall and sat her on a sofa. He then turned to me, "come on here, Krish. You guys need to talk."
And he showed me the other sofa to sit down on. He had become the man in charge.
"Are you happy now, Desai?" I asked Desai.
"No, my friend. I didn't mean any of this. I only wanted to convey to you that your certain practices are crossing the limits. Even though I was responsible for it, when I proposed the idea of allowing Piyush with your wife, I wished you denied me. I was running a test, intended to prove you are compatible with each other. But you not only failed the test but also proved that you are much worse than I thought."
"You are just the same guy I met on the first day, Desai," I said. "I can feel it, no matter what."
"It doesn't matter what you feel about me, Krish. It's time you have introspection about yourself."
I pretended to laugh him off. But I had started it already. I could feel it from inside that I had fucked it up badly. Not just once but many times. The past was coming back to haunt me.
"You must be wondering why I tried to run a test on you. Yes, you have the right to doubt my intention, Krish. But if you want to know the truth, I will have to talk about everything. It is no more secret for any of us that you wanted to watch me having sex with Meera. I have been asking Meera to let us fulfil this fantasy. Friday night you guys allowed me to watch you in bed. Still, Meera maintained that she cannot let you watch her with me. I was very curious to know the reason behind it. She told me two things. One, she was not comfortable with the idea of you witnessing the level of sexual intimacy she and I share. The other reason was something about your past, Krish. About your cuckold nature, it is. You have been expressing your acceptance - and excitement - to see your wife with other men for a few years. She told me about an incident that happened during a train journey. During that journey, you met a young man named Jai and you guys played a roleplaying game with him. You pretended to be a total stranger while allowing Meera to flirt with Jai. Things escalated to the level of Meera and Jai having some intimate moments in her seat. You were able to watch some action between them and you were very excited. When the trip ended, Meera told you about how Jai had later forced his way into the toilet when she went to the loo, and how he convinced her to be intimate with him. She had promised him many things while flirting with him even though she did not mean to cross the line. In the toilet, she let him fulfil one of Jai's dirtiest fantasies, which was to perform oral sex on her, that too from behind. She was thrilled by the kinky act. When Meera told you this next day, you were equally thrilled and horny enough to try out the fun yourself. She was going to tell you but after seeing you becoming so horny for what she did with a stranger in that bathroom, she held herself back. What she didn't tell you is, she had sex with that guy, Krish."
Desai shook his head a couple of times after saying the last sentence as if he thought I might not believe him. I still struggled to believe it, but I knew I had to believe it. I forgot to blink as I kept staring at him.
And I didn't dare to look at Meera.
Desai went on.
"What she didn't tell you is that while she was standing bending forward over the washbasin, Jai stood up behind her and shoved his dick into her. She tried to protest, but her guards were already down. She could only submit to the pleasure the moment was giving her."
Desai paused, not wanting to share further details. I looked at Meera.
"Why didn't you tell me, Meera?"
"She would have told you, Krish," Desai said, "had you been ready to listen and understand the guilt she was carrying. She learnt one thing about her that night, Krish. That you could turn her into anything. You could turn her into a whore, pardon my words – I’m merely putting her fears into words. And she had been unable to find a way to say no to you. When she found me through you she initially resisted because she didn't want to go back to face the same thing she had learnt that night. But you never chose to let her sleep peacefully. Your fantasies draw her to my world and pushed her to do things she had never thought she would enjoy. She has grown to the level of admitting she has enjoyed sex with me. And she knows that it will not disappoint you. Her worst fear was seeing you rise to another level of being you. That level would be to find another man or to find another way to use her body to fulfil your fantasies. Letting you watch her having sex with me would not satisfy you. Because you had already watched her doing it with someone else."
Desai's voice had lost its tone as he delivered the last line. His voice carried a different tone that told me how much he hated telling me all this.
I had nothing to say. I too had lost my energy to speak. I only threw a glance at Meera. I saw tears running down her cheeks.
"This is such a beautiful moment I don't want to spoil it. The thought of it makes me hate myself. And I don't want you to start hating me this very night."
I remembered her words from the other night. It now made sense.
My head went down, unable to hold its weight on my neck.
Desai spoke after spending nearly ten minutes in silence to regain his composure.
"She told me she has been part of this. And she cannot put all the blame on you. But it also means she has to live with remorse. Krish, you have to realise that living with remorse is not an ideal life. It is making her married life just hell. Your married life is falling apart, Krish. And with my test, I wanted to give her some hope that you are not what she feared. But you proved me wrong; proved her worst fears right."
"You should have talked to me, Meera.” I said in the end, “from the first day. Even if you think I would be excited by something that hurts you and makes you remorseful, you could have expressed your true thoughts to me. You could have told me it didn't go as we wanted. I would have understood."
"No, Krish." Meera broke her silence. "You would have been sorry for what happened, but you wouldn't learn from it. You know, even when I was walking with you in those fantasies, letting my guard or going with the flow - whatever it is - the thought that there will always be a new man has been one of my worst fears. And that fear has now become true. It's Piyush, in your mind now. After that, you'd start dreaming of watching me in his bed. After that, you'll want to find a man who could do it with you. There's no end to your fantasy. But I can't, Krish. I can't."
There was no energy left in me to argue. I got up and stood in front of her.
"I am sorry for making you feel this worse. I didn't mean to hurt you, baby. We should have talked a little more about this. But anyway I guess we can do it now. When I said yes to Desai's idea of letting you sleep with Piyush, I intended to stop him from getting too closer to you. I knew you would never agree to sleep with Piyush."
"How can I trust that, Krish?" Meera looked up, wiping her tears. "You have a history of encouraging me."
"Because he is what he is," Desai said like adding fuel to the burning coal.
I looked at him hatefully.
"You are trying to separate me and Meera. I know what you are doing, Desai. Of course, you are right; love can die in the wrong hands. But I love her. My love for her will never end."
I said.
"Wait," Meera raised her hand. "How did you know that? How did you hear that? You were outside when he told me that."
Desai looked at her and shook his head.
"Yeah, there's something wrong; even I’ve been thinking of it. Isn't that door soundproof?" He pointed to Meera's bedroom. "Have you done something, Krish?"
"You bugged it?"
Meera asked. I knew they were going to find it. I had nothing to hide.
"No, I didn't bug it, Meera," I said. "But I have drilled holes in the door so that I could hear you from outside. That's why I said I heard you having sex with him, two weeks ago. Now, do you understand why I was saying what I was saying?"
Meera stared at me for a moment.
“What have you become Krish? I really wonder if you were faking the injury. You are so fake; you doubted me. You had doubts about Susheel. That's why you drilled the holes.”
“I didn't drill the holes because of the doubt. It was just for listening...”
“What's the difference, Krish? Both are the same. Oh, God.”
She cried.
I thought she was playing the drama to deviate from the accusation. She hadn’t still answered my question.
“Why did you promise me and then proceeded to sleep with him?”
Meera gave me a look that I felt would burn me.
“You've become a walking statue with only one thing in your mind, Krish. That's the picture of your wife and another person, naked, fucking all the time like rats. What do I look like to you? A whore? Yes. Call me that. I'm a whore. And leave me from this. Once a whore is always a whore. Leave me.”
I was stunned as fate had my wife say those words. It was something that Desai had shouted at me long time ago, when I responded to his indecent proposal physically.
And now my destiny had found a way to make my wife repeat the same line to silence me. It felt like a blow to my psyche and I fell back into the couch.
Meera's eyes still followed me, and they were filled with disappointment. You need to see a doctor, Krish. You are thinking too much about one thing and one thing only. That's why you started hearing such sounds. If you had heard us having sex, why didn't you simply confront me? What were you waiting for until now? Were you not comfortable talking about it? Or, were you enjoying it? Oh, yes, I think that's a possibility. You were fantasising about us. It's okay, I know you do that a lot, but you should stop when you can't say what is real and what your imagination is, Krish."
Meera's words were flowing freely and every word she spoke was pushing me down into a hole of humiliation. I had no answer to any of her allegations. Because I felt she was speaking the truth.
It was hard to accept. I shook my head in disbelief.
Was I dreaming those sounds?
I had heard it clearly. But I hadn't seen them. I hadn't seen them coming or leaving.
Were they my imaginations?
I had no answer. Or I hated the answer my brain was cooking up for me.
"I am not surprised, Krish," Meera said in a slow voice. "If you had this in your head, then I can't be surprised if you said okay to the idea of me and Piyush having sex. Or anyone you see on the road."
She took a long breath before continuing. "I am leaving, Krish. I am packing my bags and moving out. Give me an hour. This is the end of us. End of our marriage."
I could say nothing. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. The worst episodes of my life were happening again.
(to be cont'd)
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