Adultery No One Dies a Saint (Completed)

[krish_999]

EDIT: Added a few more words....

Hi Bedwinner.
1700+ words. Wow.
I can't tell you in words how delighted I'm to read your review.
You know the writers here in Xossipy constantly ask for comments. Most of them post one chapter and start asking for comments. Many lose interest because of lack of comments and leave without finishing the work. My stories, thankfully, have never been short of comments. 90 percent of posts in this thread were made by the readers. A few of the readers have made more posts than myself in this thread. A number of them have been following this story from the beginning. I said I worked on this story for 16 months; likewise there are people who've followed this story for the whole nine months in running, waiting patiently (I hope so) for each episode.
Many have written long, thought provoking reviews, discussing my characters and their actions. It just amazes me how much they think about Atul and Anvita and other characters in this story. When they discuss in detail, I feel like I have succeeded in telling my story in a believable way. That's all I need to survive in here.
And your review is my triumph. I'm just honoured.
Because you felt compelled to write these 1700+ words, reviewing my story. It takes some effort.
And I thank you for all those words you've penned in this thread, both positive and negative. What makes your review more special is that it comes after finishing the story. I'm grateful for your effort in that regard.

Now about the content of your review. Of course, I have enjoyed reading the pros. The characters Rajyavardhan and Shreyas have been favourites of many readers. Most of the characters in this story actually have their own story arcs that were to be revealed only when required. The characters of Rajyavardhan and Shreyas were important because at some point they would mould the character of Atul and Anvita. Prithvi's character somehow came out as the weakest. Actually the character was designed as a teen who would have never thought he would get to sleep with Anvita. If Anvita had slept with him, it was merely his luck. But somehow, readers didn't like this scenario. 
Now the cons:

...I think last chapter is the weakest chapter in the whole story.
When Anvita revealed all her secrets to Atul, I was eagerly waiting for Atul's reaction. I mean, this was the moment we all had been waiting for, but I felt like I was let down again. I was waiting for him to break down, instead he did a U-turn and told her that he still loved her. I just couldn't believe it, since just a few hours ago he was in a very painful condition looking at George's video. Whether cucked or not, western liberal or himalayan monk, 99.999% of men in the world would be shattered at such revelations. Atul is no saint I agree(he almost fucked Radhika), but you can't just say Atul is also a cheater and hence he was right in forgiving her....

What you've suggested is the most expected reaction from a normal husband. But Atul's case is a bit different. By the time he got to the point of confronting her, he was tested enough by various incidents and he was not sure whether he had the moral right to show disappointment. He had cheated on Anvita twice. He had impregnated one. And also he knew that Anvita was now aware of his betrayal. 
If you think you can justify his cheating cause, then you can justify her cheating cause also. The truth about cheating is always the same. Everyone is given a chance to say no. But when they ignore it, the cheating happens. In this story, no one is a saint. Radhika is a character who wants to get even with Varun by sleeping with his friend. Towards the ending, we see Varun coming back to Atul to apologise. That's human psyche. The thought that we already had it even might lessen the pain of losing. It's just an idea, not a universal truth. The point is, Atul had no right to stand in front of his wife and ask her one simple question: 'why?'. One more thing, when she said she had murdered Rajat, he realised that there's bigger threat to destroy his life.
Haven't you seen those movies where an avalanche/disaster strikes and it unites a parted couple/friends? In NODAS, the bigger threat unites two souls who were on the brink of separation. That's how I thought about it.

Atul's inability to make her orgasm doesn't allow her to go on dates with any man who compliments her beauty. This is 2019, there are multiple ways to treat that.(I am aware this is an erotica, and this is how it happens but I'm ignoring the erotica part for now) she also lied to him by assuring him that everything was alright when it wasn't.

This issue was just a means to develop desperation in Anvita. Obviously, this is the easiest way to work it in erotica. We need to deny the married woman good sex, in order to make the readers think she might start searching for it very soon. This trick works only if we stop the husband from seeing a doctor, right? The whole story is planned from the wedding to first wedding anniversary. It's a short period of time and also, Anvita was not keeping him informed of his failure.

Communication is the key in any relationship and she simply sucked at being a wife.

Lack of communication between husband and wife has been a complaint I received in the Knowing... series as well. I must remind you that this is the problem that we see a lot in the real world. If they do communicate efficiently, then a lot of fights, divorces and separations wouldn't have happened. 
So basically, letting Anvita and Atul communicate efficiently would kill the issue. That's not what we wanted to happen. 

Her sexual adventures weren't just normal betrayals, she betrayed in a big way by going on dates with people whom Atul trusted. Atul respected Shreyas and had huge trust in Prithvi. When he learned about her secret dates with shreyas or her secretly inviting Prithvi to her house it should have ripped his heart open. It would have been understandable if she cheated him by accident one or two times. She was lying straight to his face all the time, she would have made out with shreyas with her husband sleeping beside her if Rajat hadn't knocked on the door at the right time. Later she phone sexed with him and he stole her panty which actually aroused her even more. And Atul didn't even have the slightest hint that there was something going on between his wife and Shreyas. Atul felt that he had won over Shreyas by exposing him to stock holders but now Atul should have thought that when he was getting Shreyas fired, Shreyas must have been laughing by thinking "But I almost fucked your wife and I still have her party, unwashed, Atul". Any sane person would have such thoughts.

I think you were a bit biased here.
Whatever Anvita did, the same goes true for Atul too.
Anvita has no idea that her husband has slept with her sister. And Atul is not going to tell her the truth. Anvita will keep trusting her sister. Atul had small sessions with Leona, Radhika, Ridhima, and Ankita before he went on to sleep with the latter. There were many instances where he was interrupted, or else he would have slept with all these women. So there's no point in thinking Anvita is the only one faltered.

These are not ordinary betrayals. These are huge things.

Again, biased. Look at the incident when Atul slept with Ankita. He was with Anvita that morning; then he took Ankita to her house and fucked her, and returned home, to an unsuspecting Anvita, pretending innocent. Do you think it's ordinary betrayal?
Of course, if you weigh their actions you might find one's betrayal is more sick than the other. But I think some readers might just think the opposite. 

The woman characters in these erotic stories are always on the verge of being categorised. If she makes a choice about whom to fuck, she's called a manipulative slut. If she doesn't make such a choice, (she still gets fucked - it's Xossipy ;P ) she's too weak. If she doesn't fuck at all, then that story shouldn't be in Xossipy.
With male characters, we do not have this issue. If they fuck around, they are smart. If they do not, they are just unlucky?

What is love when there is no trust? what is his definition of love anyway? Each of them were just trophies for each other. What is it that still made him love her? was it her beauty? or the praises he received for having such a beautiful wife? He didn't love her, he loved her body, he loved the idea of having the most sought after girl as his wife. He loved the compliments he received for other people for being her husband.

Debatable, interesting questions to ponder over.

Another thing I was hoping for was that Ankita would confess that she thought Atul was a cuck.

I had given the hint of a cuck theme in the middle of the story, and it was wound up there itself. I think she would have confessed it (and it would be an accusation because we have Atul's point of view + the prologue proves he isn't a willing cuck) if her doubts weren't cleared already. During the climatic chapters it had become an issue long gone.

We didn't get to witness Anvita's reaction when she found out that Atul saw George's video.

Atul doesn't tell her that he knows. There's no point in telling her that he saw it and thought she cheated on him, after it was revealed as a bang.

My another complaint from the last chapter is Mohit's role. It simply felt forced. I mean, what are the odds of Mohit finding out about his wife's adultery on the same day that Pruthvi knocks Rajat out to unconsciousness? It seems like you wanted to give an happy ending but an ending that was not too predictable either.

Exactly like you thought. A little twist is needed. Otherwise you'd write the ending was too predictable. The twists in the stories are acceptable when they are written in a believable manner. If you think it was forced, I'm very happy to say I've noticed it a feedback on my writing. This is why I don't hate negative reviews at all. It improves my writing.

Whenever a new character was introduced, I was like "Oh man.. Not again".

I had this fear in the beginning but couldn't avoid the risk. The story was intended to have a lot of characters.

Rajat was never shown in good light but Atul still believed him.

Noted. Their friendship was not established well.

Reading comments about cuckold, I also have an interesting fantasy. What if Sahil saw Atul and Ankita fucking and seeing her wife moan like that turned him on which improved his performance with his wife? And then a threesome? I think it would have been very erotic(at least for me, since I love Ankita). It would have made Atul's acceptance to Rajat's idea of allowing Anvita to go on dates with other men to improve his performance in bed more believable. It would have also made Atul more guilty and also Ankita would have found happiness.

That's a very nice thought. /font]
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It was a very pleasing review. I want to repeat my earlier words that I have no issue with anyone giving me a negative review. 
The fact that my story held your attention for straight three days itself is a huge compliment. And the fact that it forced you to write a 1700+ words review is like a bonus. I have read all of your comments here and they are worth reading again and again. Thank you for spending your valuable time to give such a long review.

Keep reading and keep posting.
Krish.