[Suraj76626]

Starting was stunned but when u included two young kids and with them by u made a erotic scene then your story is so cheap. I don't know which perspectively you did it but it's completely so ridiculous. I hope you will not includ that's kids with our's heroine. Because u created a strong woman character and now u are using her cheaply. It's disappointed matter. You had submissived her so early and what about her boss? Man, firstly you should be plotted your story properly and later then you will write it.

Sorry for your disappointment bro...But I think you have skipped a major portion of the story here or you were unable to understand it.... in any case you shouldn't call someone's story cheap just because it is not according to your taste. To any reader who has read the story your comment makes no sense. Shipra has not submitted to anyone. 

Have a little patience bro... According to your comment Shipra has already submitted to the young kid Alok and had sex with her. It is going to be a long story with lots of twist & turns and if you can't keep up or want a better plotted story I suggest you  to visit sites like literotica.

Plot of my story has been clear from day 1 brother. If you can't make constructive suggestions like other readers please refrain yourself from discouraging the writer.

[madiha.agarwal]

Dear Author,

I stumbled upon your story by chance, and I must say, it looks quite promising. I've just finished Chapter 3, and while I'm unsure of what lies ahead in the subsequent chapters, I'm filled with curiosity and excitement to discover more.

One aspect I truly appreciate about your storytelling is your slow and steady pace. Rather than rushing into explicit scenes, you're focusing on building the narrative—a crucial foundation. Till now story sounds quite realistic.

I hope the gradual development continues, the way you're doing. However, I do have a few suggestions, if you're open to them:

1. While I understand this is your story, I've always believed that erotica with a realistic approach have the potential to become epics. Remember, you're writing an erotica, not some porn video script. Take your time, and let intimacy unfold organically, avoiding illogical leaps just to satisfy certain readers' demands to see Shipra getting fucked.

2. Many inexperienced authors resort to clichés like taking the excuse of wife cheating on her husband or indulging in sex with some other guy on the pretext of her husband not sexually competent or weak at sex or may be things have turned boring in bed. Please don't take the same path in your story. 
                                                  Its always more exciting when a couple is madly in love and are happy with each other, even in bed. Seducing a loyal, strong character woman is the ultimate challenge & fun rather than a woman who is easy  and can be manipulated to have sex just because she is desperate.

3. I would suggest to stop sharing your future ideas of the story witn readers. Like I went through one of your comments where you confirm that Shipra has some hidden slut in her and also revealing about Shipra's ex bf a bit. Why do this ? It would simply take away the charm because most of the readers will have set their minds that Shipra has slutty character hidden in her.
This is directly attacking on her character which you are still building up. Once her character is soiled, nothing would be left in the story.

4. It's essential to maintain Shipra's integrity as a character. Please don't turn Shipra in some betraying slut who starts opening her legs easily in future. Surely, there would be sex episodes of her but they should happen with logic which makes sense and sounds realistic. If Shipra gets fucked once, doesn't mean she would open her legs easily next time for anyone. Never turn her into a slut character. Her character should still remain the same i.e hard to get. Hopefully you wouldn't take the route of blackmailing either as it would simply kill the buzz.

5.  Looks like Toppo is looking for some revenge. Now its up to you if he actually gets the complete revenge or Shipra is smart enough to outwit him in his own game and never gets to lose her dignity completely even after getting fucked. Use ideas where its always hard for Toppo or anyone to actually get what he wants. Keep readers on the brink of excitement and never make it too obvious for readers. Always give room for some twists in the story.

Your story holds immense potential, and the current plot is captivating. Here's hoping it evolves into a substantial narrative, transcending the clichés often found in similar works.

Love

Please review my story too...I started writing one... No holds barred, roast me if needed

[madiha.agarwal]

stumbled into xossipy after a long time and found your story. Its very intriguing and I want to read more chapters.... I know its not easy to find time to write as I m a half decent author.

I agree a lot with hornytamiilan.Too many stories follow same plot and I too try to deviate and end up cliche too. Hit me up in DM if you want to collaborate or bounce ideas...

[maharsha25]

Sorry for your disappointment bro...But I think you have skipped a major portion of the story here or you were unable to understand it.... in any case you shouldn't call someone's story cheap just because it is not according to your taste. To any reader who has read the story your comment makes no sense. Shipra has not submitted to anyone. 

Have a little patience bro... According to your comment Shipra has already submitted to the young kid Alok and had sex with her. It is going to be a long story with lots of twist & turns and if you can't keep up or want a better plotted story I suggest you  to visit sites like literotica.

Plot of my story has been clear from day 1 brother. If you can't make constructive suggestions like other readers please refrain yourself from discouraging the writer.

I would encourage you to continue with the story and not get distracted by such discouraging comments. your writing skills are pretty fine, narration and thought process extremely mature for a erotic story. We are eagerly awaiting the further part of this story which seemed elusive and shrouded in mystery, the one that occurred right after patode revealed his package. I would say this part where you managed to keep it a suspense is outrageously masterful storytelling. Good luck and thanks for taking out time to share this excellent content with us.

[Dark Horse]

Sorry for your disappointment bro...But I think you have skipped a major portion of the story here or you were unable to understand it.... in any case you shouldn't call someone's story cheap just because it is not according to your taste. To any reader who has read the story your comment makes no sense. Shipra has not submitted to anyone. 

Have a little patience bro... According to your comment Shipra has already submitted to the young kid Alok and had sex with her. It is going to be a long story with lots of twist & turns and if you can't keep up or want a better plotted story I suggest you  to visit sites like literotica.

Plot of my story has been clear from day 1 brother. If you can't make constructive suggestions like other readers please refrain yourself from discouraging the writer.

Hey guys, if are disappointed for my comments then I am sorry. But I have no intense to nagging you. What you have wrote in story that's not my concern and I don't mention any type of this. I don't need any kind of "Literotica" type platforms because I don't like those stories most of them. I have a great collection in American Best Selling authors ebooks and most of the time I read that. Maybe it's weird to u but it's truth where many of writters are here, they are coping American story or Literotica forums story just changed western name and palce. So who's are original reader in western literature they are better know what is happening here. Best of luck for you. Thanks for replying.

[xboard1986]

Waiting

[Markande]

Update please

[Pvzro]

Hi writer,

Glad to read your story with such an excellent materialistic plot,

Plz a request keep your story alive by regularly updating with the episodes so that interest of the readers goes on...

[Suraj76626]

stumbled into xossipy after a long time and found your story. Its very intriguing and I want to read more chapters.... I know its not easy to find time to write as I m a half decent author.

I agree a lot with hornytamiilan.Too many stories follow same plot and I too try to deviate and end up cliche too. Hit me up in DM if you want to collaborate or bounce ideas...

Thanks.... I have read the first part of the story.. the start is good.. I have some feedback for you.. will be in touch soon.

[Suraj76626]

I would encourage you to continue with the story and not get distracted by such discouraging comments. your writing skills are pretty fine, narration and thought process extremely mature for a erotic story. We are eagerly awaiting the further part of this story which seemed elusive and shrouded in mystery, the one that occurred right after patode revealed his package. I would say this part where you managed to keep it a suspense is outrageously masterful storytelling. Good luck and thanks for taking out time to share this excellent content with us.

Thanks bro

[Suraj76626]

Update please

Next update on Sunday around the same time.

[Hornytamilan23]

My expectations are sky high. Come up with a cock teasing update bro.

[xossissippi]

Hi Suraj

Have been following your story from the start. It is a spectacular start actually. The way Shipra's character has been built up and her beauty is described and the language, all phenomenal. Kudos!!

The Toppo character at the introduction is what got me going for this story. Fat ugly looking guy but dreams to bed the hottest women, huge contrast between the two and definitely fits with my kink ;) And even like the Namrata character, she definitely a "Catalyst" that would bring in the change in Shipra's life. She even made Shipra fantasize about Toppo... as if they both in same leagues.. crazy erotic phase!

The story further goes with introduction of Patode who is opposite of Toppo already tall hot handsome and well endowed ( does he have to do any seduction, i mean women will fall head over heels for this guy like our girl Namrata haha just kidding ) hopefully the story is pure seduction and not forced theme.

Not to gripe any further, but I just want to congratulate to you sir that reading the story is still very captivating for me. I just want to say great f'ing job man. The twists are the essence of the story so far, in some updates you almost had us believing that the inevitable has happened, got our hearts thumping now that's just great writing. Keep those surprises not many can nail this. If the eroticism is too linear it becomes boring and predictable.

I must say that the story up until this point is the "Introduction". The characters are set, the stage is set and i feel the actual story begins now! Let's see how each of them come up with devious plan to seduce the hottest chick in the world! All the very best.

[Suraj76626]

Hey guys,

I am very sorry but I am not going to be able provide an update today. I have finished the next part but some portion of the draft needs a little improvement as I am not 100% satisfied with the plot. I am aiming to finish the tweaks by late night today so just wait till tomorrow for a very erotic update. Writing a sexual scene is quite exhausting and time taking. Little miscalculation on my part.

Cheers
SURAJ   

[Suraj76626]

Hi Suraj

Have been following your story from the start. It is a spectacular start actually. The way Shipra's character has been built up and her beauty is described and the language, all phenomenal. Kudos!!

The Toppo character at the introduction is what got me going for this story. Fat ugly looking guy but dreams to bed the hottest women, huge contrast between the two and definitely fits with my kink ;) And even like the Namrata character, she definitely a "Catalyst" that would bring in the change in Shipra's life. She even made Shipra fantasize about Toppo... as if they both in same leagues.. crazy erotic phase!

The story further goes with introduction of Patode who is opposite of Toppo already tall hot handsome and well endowed ( does he have to do any seduction, i mean women will fall head over heels for this guy like our girl Namrata haha just kidding ) hopefully the story is pure seduction and not forced theme.

Not to gripe any further, but I just want to congratulate to you sir that reading the story is still very captivating for me. I just want to say great f'ing job man. The twists are the essence of the story so far, in some updates you almost had us believing that the inevitable has happened, got our hearts thumping now that's just great writing. Keep those surprises not many can nail this. If the eroticism is too linear it becomes boring and predictable.

I must say that the story up until this point is the "Introduction". The characters are set, the stage is set and i feel the actual story begins now! Let's see how each of them come up with devious plan to seduce the hottest chick in the world! All the very best.

Thanks man... Much appreciated... Yes the introduction part is almost over, now the real twist and turns will happen.

[Suraj76626]

My expectations are sky high. Come up with a cock teasing update bro.

Yeah bro.. trying to do the same.. hence the delay.

[Hornytamilan23]

Yeah bro.. trying to do the same.. hence the delay.

Take your time bro, happy that you put efforts behind every update.

[AnitaMathur]

Those who says this is vulgar and not realistic.. you are wrong.. aisa hi hoti hai in branches me jindegi aur middle class couples me. This story is very relatable and so hot for a woman to read only a woman can understand. Thank you suraj keep writing more .. this story opens up so many angles

[tweeny_fory]

the more the interactions and suggestion from others, the author gets flabbergasted :)
just kidding bro
when readers get into the story, they get involved and everyone has their own imaginations.. which comes out as their thoughts or comments or even as suggestions..

so keep going and do what your what to make your heroine out of her actions.

[Hornytamilan23]

the more the interactions and suggestion from others, the author gets flabbergasted :)
just kidding bro
when readers get into the story, they get involved and everyone has their own imaginations.. which comes out as their thoughts or comments or even as suggestions..

so keep going and do what your what to make your heroine out of her actions.

But these interactions made xossipy to standout. Makes the readers involve with the story. Positive or negative, criticising or roasting, authors are happy that they get attention.

Authors give update once in a week or two, but who keeps the thread in the first page, it is the readers and their comments.