17-04-2024, 05:20 PM
Chapter 31 – Tears and recriminations
Husband
Laying a hand on a woman is something I always thought of as unacceptable. I felt only an arrogant and crude man could do that but now I felt that I should have done this to Bhavani long ago, maybe then she may not have strayed in the marriage. Though I couldn’t get myself to beat a woman I had to admit I had a sense of satisfaction when I saw her mother slap Bhavani. Bhavani was shocked as she wouldn’t have expected this. Tears welled up in her eyes. Her mother was also crying as she cursed and scolded her daughter.
"Disgusting girl, you have spoiled the honour of our family. I feel ashamed I bore you in my womb. How can you be my daughter? You’ve disgraced the entire family .. oh god why did you punish us like this?"
The scoundrel Vikram stood there shocked not knowing what to do. Bhavani's father was sitting with his head bowed deeply ashamed at all that had happened. Tears poured freely from her eyes onto the floor. I know that Bhavani is his favourite daughter. He was now completely broken. He could not get to scold or beating his beloved daughter but the flow of his tears showed the pain he was going through. How many people suffer when a woman goes astray in a family? I’m no exception to the disgrace felt by her family. I am directly affected more than anyone else. I was furious as I saw Vikram. There would always be a smile on his face when he talked to me. Now I know the reason for that smile. Internally he was mocking me for my ignorance of he and my wife making a fool of me. He was an immoral bastard who didn’t care what consequences his actions lead to. Behind that mocking smile his thoughts would have been, 'Idiot, do you know how many times I've fucked your wife?' Now I know that he was with her on that so-called ladies tour. All this was planned and arranged by that bitch Girja and this arsehole Vikram. Bhavani had been a willing cohort in this devious plan. For two whole days and nights they would have spent their time as husband and wife and would have been demeaning me as they wallowed in their illicit coupling. That too the bit I have seen where Bhavani has sex with him showed the extent to which she involved in uninhibited vulgar sex with him. She does more for him than she has ever done for me, that bloody bitch.
I could see that he was giving her tremendous pleasure and I could not give her that so as I started thinking maybe partly I’m to blame I immediately pushed that thought aside and reprimanded myself. Whatever the reason that doesn't excuse her guilt. Why should the blame for their wrongdoing fall on me? Any issues between a husband and his wife should have been resolved by talking over the problem. She had never indicated to me that she had been unhappy or sexually dissatisfied. Bhavani had been a loyal wife till she met him. He was the one who relentlessly pursued her, seduced and made her his whore. That didn’t mean she could be absolved of all fault. If she was not willing he wouldn’t have got her. Afterall he didn’t bang her. My instinct when I first saw him was that he was not a good person. That had now been proven right. Though then, in time he had made me to believe that he was harmless. Bhavani had also aided him in making me come to such a wrong understanding. Was I such a big fool? Or is it that I wanted it to be true that he was not a bad person so I easily accepted that to be true. Primarily because only than it would mean that my wife was a chaste woman. More than he and Bhavani deceiving me it was I who deceived myself.
Smitha walked up to Vikram and slapped him on both his cheeks. It was not just I but she too was one of the victims. He had used her so that he could enjoy Bhavani in my own house. It is Smitha that I should thank. If it wasn't for her, I would have continued to be a fool. I would have been unknowingly happy thinking of another man’s child as my own. Bhavani had dared to deceive me to such an extent. How can a wife degrade her husband any more than this?. She so derisively dismissive of my self-respect. She along with him would have made sneering fun of me for being a fool to believe I was the father of the child. All these thoughts made my blood boil. That's why I didn’t feel any sympathy for Bhavani now, seeing her in such a helpless state. There was not even the slightest of pity or affection for her even though she had shared her life with me for so many years. My heart had turned to stone. Now Smitha started talking.
“You bastard, what did you think of me. You took me for a fool to use so you could fuck another man’s wife .. you lowlife.”
Bhavani's parents' faces contorted in agony hearing Smitha speak so crudely because it was their daughter she was degrading too. Not only them, Bhavani’s face too showed the same pain. Let her suffer that agony .. for making me suffer so much this agony was not enough.
"Did you take me for an idiot? That day when you first came here I had left you two and gone to take my bath. When I came back you two were together in the kitchen. Both of you looked a little nervous, especially that whore. That’s when I first got a little suspicious." (Bhavani and Vikram had engaged in quick sex while Smitha was taking her bath)
Earlier, Smitha had told me that this was the starting point for her doubts.
“You disgusting scoundrel what did you take me for?” Smitha continued angrily.
“Hey Smitha .. no .. it’s not like ..” Vikram started denying everything.
“Shut your filthy mouth .. son of a bitch,” Smitha shouted back and Vikram was stunned back to silence.
"When Bhavani was away on tour, I had called you so many times. Sometimes you didn't answer properly and told me you were busy. Sometimes the phone was not picked up at all or was switched off," Smitha continued, her anger unabated.
With another stab of pain in my heart I thought that Vikram didn’t pick up Smitha’s calls because he was busy enjoying my wife at that time.
“Because the phone was switched off I thought that you were busy at work. When I called your office, they told me that you were on leave. That was when my suspicions became very strong. You had been lying to me and Bhavani was away alone. I put two and two together then.”
Vikram had planned everything meticulously but being so happy to have got Bhavani alone with him he had made this careless misstep with Smitha. My heart ached as I thought of both Bhavani and him spending two nights together. A person engaging in nefarious activities will surely get caught someday. He had messed around with many married women’s lives but as far as I know everyone was just 'touch and go' relationships. He had truly only got very close to Bhavani. So, that was the reason he got caught. On the other hand, if Bhavani too had been just ‘touch and go’ like the other women he would have used her for his sexual pleasure a few times and would have left her alone after that. In that case I would not have known that my wife had slept with another man and had betrayed me. I would have lived with her thinking she had been faithful to me throughout our marriage. Ignorance in this case would have been bliss but would I have wanted such a woman as my wife? I didn’t know whether to be pleased that this went as long as it did till they got caught or unhappy that I got to know I had been made a fool. If my wife had stopped after the brief sexual dalliance at the time of my relative’s wedding nothing would have been known to me or my family and my family would have been intact. But I would have gone to my grave thinking my wife had been loyal to me throughout our marriage. Now however I know the truth and I can do something to redeem my honour and get some justice but at what cost?
Smitha continued, "This was why I started watching you two. I set up opportunities for you to be alone to ascertain if my suspicions were justified. Then, I would come and watch you without your knowledge to see what was going on."
Bhavani was watching with heartbreak realising that they got caught like this. It became clear that there was no chance of escaping from this anymore by denying everything.
"First, I saw you embracing and kissing each other in those brief times you two thought you were alone. I knew that if you had the opportunity and ample time you would go way beyond this. So, I set that up for you two as well."
Now Bhavani's face became more agitated. She must be thinking of all the things she and Vikram did in this house when they thought they were alone . The shame and embarrassment of knowing Smitha had seen them engaging in hurried vulgar mating would be the reason for this agitation on her face. . If her reaction for just was so much of agitation then what will Bhavani do if she knew what else Smitha had done.
"Banging her as if she was a cheap whore, doing it on the dining table, against the wall,” Smitha face showed the revulsion she was feeling as she recalled the scenes she had witnessed. “Chche Thoo,” she spat out in disgust,” don't you two have any shame? How can you do this to another man’s wife," She said as she looked at Vikram as if looking at a pile of faeces.
On hearing this Bhavani’s mother closed both her ears with her hands unable to bear hearing anymore of her daughter’s vile behaviour. She started sobbing loudly.
Only after this did Smitha throw the bombshell. "I have recorded all this on my phone. Including you two having sex in the guest room at night. All these evidences are with sir," she said referring to me.
Vikram and Bhavani’s attention now turned to me. Bhavani’s face was a mixture of pain, shame and fear. She now knows I have directly seen her in a sexually compromising position with her lover. That left her very little to say by way of defence for her behaviour.
Bhavani’s cousin who was very close to her family and also a bit of a rough character (probably that’s why they asked him to be here) now shouted out. “We have slice this bastard open into pieces, he’s the cause of all this trouble,” he said as he moved menacingly towards Vikram.
“No, I don’t want any violence in my home,” My authoritative voice stopped her cousin in his tracks.
Though I wanted to do exactly that as much as her cousin wanted to I could not allow that to happen. Any violence would escalate the matter and expose this sordid affair to the outside world. The result is that me and my family would be victims for ridicule. Why should we suffer for other peoples wrong doing? As the man most affected by all this I opened my mouth to speak now but before I could do so Bhavani interjected and started pleading with me.
“Please forgive me … I’m so sorry, I did a big mistake ..plea…,” She started saying between sobs.
“Shut up .. stop you snivelling,” I cut her off shouting in anger. Bhavani had never seen me this angry before. I have never shown this type of anger during our years of marriage. She took one look at my face and her words got strangled in her throat.
Just then there was a knock on my front door. Everyone was stunned into silence. I calmed walked to my front door and opened it. My lawyer was standing there. “Come in Saar,” I invited him in.
Seeing my lawyer come in Bhavani’s (I could no longer refer to her as my wife even in my mind) parents put their face into their palms covering their face. Seeing him they could guess what my next course of action was going to be. By the way their shoulders shook I could know that they were crying. Bhavani’s face had gone pale. All blood had drained out of her face. The once very beautiful face didn’t look so beautiful now. Seeing my lawyer, she knew the consequences for her actions was going to be disastrous for her. Now I turned my attention to Vikram.
“You’re a creepy worm that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near any home. You don’t have a bone of decency in your body. You’ve destroyed a family just for cheap vulgar pleasure. Only a feeling of loathing comes on seeing your face. Get out of here before I do something I will regret. Make sure I never see your repulsive face ever again if you know what’s good for you. I won’t be responsible for what happens to you after that.”
I wanted to say more but he was not worth it. It wasn’t just his doing. If Bhavani had been firm nothing would have happened anyway. He didn’t force himself on her .. she was willing inside to give herself to him.
He hesitated. He didn’t know what to do. He looked at Bhavani who was looking at the floor and crying pitifully. After seeing all our faces, finding nothing but hatred for him from everyone he slowly left my house. The poisonous snake was finally gone. Typical of an unscrupulous scoundrel like him, abandoning the woman he got into trouble when she needed him the most. He didn’t make any effort to speak up for Bhavani. Plead that it was all his fault and Bhavani was not to blame.
“See Bhavani, this is what you get from a bastard like Vikram.” Bhavani was in no condition to react in anyway to what I was saying.
"Bhavani, you don't have any choice. Put your signature on the divorce papers brought by my lawyer. I have just said that we have irreconcilable differences. I have not mentioned anything about your adulterous behaviour so your family won't be affected much nor will your young sister's future marriage plans."
Bhavani looked at me pitifully seeking my sympathy but my face was very stern.
“Your parents proposed that I marry your younger sister as the only way they can make up for horrible behaviour and to let you stay in the house at least like a servant, not a wife but I refused that even though they begged me to consider it.”
While looking at her parents I continued,” I already know the type of women there are in that family why would I be a fool to marry another one from that family?”
I know that what I said will hurt them very badly but in the state of anger that I was in I didn’t care who gets hurt. Maybe when I become calmer later and reflect on the matter I may not be too proud of the words I uttered. Hurting two old people unnecessarily wasn’t something a person could be happy to have done but now at this moment I needed to vent my suppressed anger.
"Don't be afraid, I won't say anything that will affect your younger daughter's future marriage. You can say to the family of whomever you are trying to matchmake for your younger daughter that I was the one who was prone to violence and so your first daughter got divorced.”
I didn’t want to punish Bhavani’s family for what she had done. Her parents always had been respectful to me. I know how much this must hurt them but I’m hurting as well and there are painful decisions that I have to take.
“Please .. please .. don’t punish me like this. What I did was unforgivable but give me a chance,” Bhavani finally spoke up her voice plaintive as she shuddered in fear of the consequences she now faced.
“Shut up .. did you think about me or our son when you were shamelessly enjoying yourself with that despicable rogue?” I retorted. My voice was not loud but my anger was clear for everyone to note.
“I’m so sorry .. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. I’m not asking for forgiveness. Just don’t shun me away from our family. I swear I’ll do everything possible to make up for my betrayal, “ She continued to plead.
“How do you propose to do that?”
This question stunned her to silence. She didn’t expect I would ask something like this.
She thought for a few seconds before she said,” I am deeply ashamed of my behaviour. Believe me I hate myself more now than you could hate me. I would never ever again do this horrible thing. I’ll do my utmost to care for you and our son .. I’m asking you not even to treat me as your wife but only as a servant. Don’t banish me from our home.” With tears streaked cheeks, face swollen in sorrow, she cut a pitiful figure but right now I was devoid of and incapable of showing any sympathy.
“You are saying all this because you got caught otherwise you would have continued to make a fool of me. What do you want me to do? Raise that bastard’s child as my own? You thought so little of me that you were willing to fool me like that?”
The images from the clips Smitha had given me of Bhavani and Vikram having sex in my own house kept flashing in my mind and kept my anger at boiling point. This was not a woman who felt guilty or remorse for what she was doing, she was revelling in the illicit sex. The thought that while having sex with her Vikram would have mocked me and she would have smiled when he did that was intensely painful to me.
Bhavani looked at her parents for any sort of support but they were standing there with heads hung in shame. She again turned to me and begged,” Please .. I’ll do anything you ask .. don’t punish me.”
“Really? There is one thing you can do, sign the divorce papers,” I said dispassionately.
Next was the most important thing I had to say. "From now on Avinash will be with me. You will have nothing to do with him anymore."
"Oh no, I won't agree to this no .. no …," cried Bhavani.
I was very calm not budging from my decision. Bhavani could see my determination in this matter.
"Please, I'll listen to anything else you say, I'll sign whatever you say, just don't do this." She was wailing now, slapping her head with her hands as she cried out loud.
I was silently watching her wail. I was not moved by her sorrow as my heart had turned to stone.
"If you don't agree to this, your ugly videos will be exposed. Everyone will spit on your family. Not only that, but think of Avinash's situation if this gets released."
"No, I can't, I can't be without my son," she whimpered now at the prospect of losing her son. She should have thought about this before opening her legs to Vikram.
"You should have thought of this before you became a slut to that lowlife," I shouted angrily. All the anger that I had to supress and keep bottled up and act as if nothing had happened even after seeing the video clips Smitha had showed me of how my wife had betrayed me and made a fool of me in my own house came exploding out.
"Like I said before, I’m not giving you any option. I've told you what I'll do. The decision is up to you." I continued unmoved by her tears one little bit.
"You be stubborn .. live with your son wherever you want, we as a family will commit suicide rather than face the public humiliation," Bhavani's mother said in a voice mixed with tears and anger.
For the next half an hour Bhavani begged, cried, argued tried to beg forgiveness by holding on to my feet but right now I didn’t want those fingers that caressed Vikram to even touch me. Her fingers touching me would only cause loathing within me. I moved away from her showing my aversion to her even touching me. She tried as much as she could to not lose her son but she got no support, even from her father who had been very close to her. Finally, she gave up but at the same time she seemed to have come to some sort of decision. I wasn’t in any frame of mind to bother whatever it was. Whatever she decides to do, it is of her own volition and it was her own fate.
"Sir, tomorrow I will go and stay at the working women's hostel as I have already prepared. It is not right for me to stay here when you are here alone," Smitha told me.
Bhavani’s parents firmly told her not to come to their house anymore. Bhavani cut a forlorn figure, rejected and ostracized by all. Even that rascal who had caused her to get into this problem and who at least now should have been by her side was not here. She was paying an enormous price for those moments of stolen pleasure.
"Here's some money, it will cover two months' expenses. For you having shared my life for so many years I won't send you away with nothing. I'm not such a cruel guy.
"Ma'am, this is my company card, you have to inform us where you would be staying after you find a place. You have to come when the court calls in order to finalise the divorce," my lawyer told Bhavani.
Resigned to her fate and whatever she had decided she signed the papers proffered to her with shaking hands. Since this would be a joint petition for divorce the process would be faster. Seeing his daughter signing the papers, her father couldn’t take it anymore. With a strangled sob he got up and walked away to a corner of the living room. At this time of heightened emotions even her family didn’t stop her or come to her aid. She clutched the card from the lawyer crumpling it in her hand as she turned away. She looked one last time at her parents who averted their face from her gaze. She gave me a last lingering look. I did not look away but my gaze was stoic. She took a deep breath and with a sudden purpose as if she had decided on something she walked away from my life never to return again.
Husband
Laying a hand on a woman is something I always thought of as unacceptable. I felt only an arrogant and crude man could do that but now I felt that I should have done this to Bhavani long ago, maybe then she may not have strayed in the marriage. Though I couldn’t get myself to beat a woman I had to admit I had a sense of satisfaction when I saw her mother slap Bhavani. Bhavani was shocked as she wouldn’t have expected this. Tears welled up in her eyes. Her mother was also crying as she cursed and scolded her daughter.
"Disgusting girl, you have spoiled the honour of our family. I feel ashamed I bore you in my womb. How can you be my daughter? You’ve disgraced the entire family .. oh god why did you punish us like this?"
The scoundrel Vikram stood there shocked not knowing what to do. Bhavani's father was sitting with his head bowed deeply ashamed at all that had happened. Tears poured freely from her eyes onto the floor. I know that Bhavani is his favourite daughter. He was now completely broken. He could not get to scold or beating his beloved daughter but the flow of his tears showed the pain he was going through. How many people suffer when a woman goes astray in a family? I’m no exception to the disgrace felt by her family. I am directly affected more than anyone else. I was furious as I saw Vikram. There would always be a smile on his face when he talked to me. Now I know the reason for that smile. Internally he was mocking me for my ignorance of he and my wife making a fool of me. He was an immoral bastard who didn’t care what consequences his actions lead to. Behind that mocking smile his thoughts would have been, 'Idiot, do you know how many times I've fucked your wife?' Now I know that he was with her on that so-called ladies tour. All this was planned and arranged by that bitch Girja and this arsehole Vikram. Bhavani had been a willing cohort in this devious plan. For two whole days and nights they would have spent their time as husband and wife and would have been demeaning me as they wallowed in their illicit coupling. That too the bit I have seen where Bhavani has sex with him showed the extent to which she involved in uninhibited vulgar sex with him. She does more for him than she has ever done for me, that bloody bitch.
I could see that he was giving her tremendous pleasure and I could not give her that so as I started thinking maybe partly I’m to blame I immediately pushed that thought aside and reprimanded myself. Whatever the reason that doesn't excuse her guilt. Why should the blame for their wrongdoing fall on me? Any issues between a husband and his wife should have been resolved by talking over the problem. She had never indicated to me that she had been unhappy or sexually dissatisfied. Bhavani had been a loyal wife till she met him. He was the one who relentlessly pursued her, seduced and made her his whore. That didn’t mean she could be absolved of all fault. If she was not willing he wouldn’t have got her. Afterall he didn’t bang her. My instinct when I first saw him was that he was not a good person. That had now been proven right. Though then, in time he had made me to believe that he was harmless. Bhavani had also aided him in making me come to such a wrong understanding. Was I such a big fool? Or is it that I wanted it to be true that he was not a bad person so I easily accepted that to be true. Primarily because only than it would mean that my wife was a chaste woman. More than he and Bhavani deceiving me it was I who deceived myself.
Smitha walked up to Vikram and slapped him on both his cheeks. It was not just I but she too was one of the victims. He had used her so that he could enjoy Bhavani in my own house. It is Smitha that I should thank. If it wasn't for her, I would have continued to be a fool. I would have been unknowingly happy thinking of another man’s child as my own. Bhavani had dared to deceive me to such an extent. How can a wife degrade her husband any more than this?. She so derisively dismissive of my self-respect. She along with him would have made sneering fun of me for being a fool to believe I was the father of the child. All these thoughts made my blood boil. That's why I didn’t feel any sympathy for Bhavani now, seeing her in such a helpless state. There was not even the slightest of pity or affection for her even though she had shared her life with me for so many years. My heart had turned to stone. Now Smitha started talking.
“You bastard, what did you think of me. You took me for a fool to use so you could fuck another man’s wife .. you lowlife.”
Bhavani's parents' faces contorted in agony hearing Smitha speak so crudely because it was their daughter she was degrading too. Not only them, Bhavani’s face too showed the same pain. Let her suffer that agony .. for making me suffer so much this agony was not enough.
"Did you take me for an idiot? That day when you first came here I had left you two and gone to take my bath. When I came back you two were together in the kitchen. Both of you looked a little nervous, especially that whore. That’s when I first got a little suspicious." (Bhavani and Vikram had engaged in quick sex while Smitha was taking her bath)
Earlier, Smitha had told me that this was the starting point for her doubts.
“You disgusting scoundrel what did you take me for?” Smitha continued angrily.
“Hey Smitha .. no .. it’s not like ..” Vikram started denying everything.
“Shut your filthy mouth .. son of a bitch,” Smitha shouted back and Vikram was stunned back to silence.
"When Bhavani was away on tour, I had called you so many times. Sometimes you didn't answer properly and told me you were busy. Sometimes the phone was not picked up at all or was switched off," Smitha continued, her anger unabated.
With another stab of pain in my heart I thought that Vikram didn’t pick up Smitha’s calls because he was busy enjoying my wife at that time.
“Because the phone was switched off I thought that you were busy at work. When I called your office, they told me that you were on leave. That was when my suspicions became very strong. You had been lying to me and Bhavani was away alone. I put two and two together then.”
Vikram had planned everything meticulously but being so happy to have got Bhavani alone with him he had made this careless misstep with Smitha. My heart ached as I thought of both Bhavani and him spending two nights together. A person engaging in nefarious activities will surely get caught someday. He had messed around with many married women’s lives but as far as I know everyone was just 'touch and go' relationships. He had truly only got very close to Bhavani. So, that was the reason he got caught. On the other hand, if Bhavani too had been just ‘touch and go’ like the other women he would have used her for his sexual pleasure a few times and would have left her alone after that. In that case I would not have known that my wife had slept with another man and had betrayed me. I would have lived with her thinking she had been faithful to me throughout our marriage. Ignorance in this case would have been bliss but would I have wanted such a woman as my wife? I didn’t know whether to be pleased that this went as long as it did till they got caught or unhappy that I got to know I had been made a fool. If my wife had stopped after the brief sexual dalliance at the time of my relative’s wedding nothing would have been known to me or my family and my family would have been intact. But I would have gone to my grave thinking my wife had been loyal to me throughout our marriage. Now however I know the truth and I can do something to redeem my honour and get some justice but at what cost?
Smitha continued, "This was why I started watching you two. I set up opportunities for you to be alone to ascertain if my suspicions were justified. Then, I would come and watch you without your knowledge to see what was going on."
Bhavani was watching with heartbreak realising that they got caught like this. It became clear that there was no chance of escaping from this anymore by denying everything.
"First, I saw you embracing and kissing each other in those brief times you two thought you were alone. I knew that if you had the opportunity and ample time you would go way beyond this. So, I set that up for you two as well."
Now Bhavani's face became more agitated. She must be thinking of all the things she and Vikram did in this house when they thought they were alone . The shame and embarrassment of knowing Smitha had seen them engaging in hurried vulgar mating would be the reason for this agitation on her face. . If her reaction for just was so much of agitation then what will Bhavani do if she knew what else Smitha had done.
"Banging her as if she was a cheap whore, doing it on the dining table, against the wall,” Smitha face showed the revulsion she was feeling as she recalled the scenes she had witnessed. “Chche Thoo,” she spat out in disgust,” don't you two have any shame? How can you do this to another man’s wife," She said as she looked at Vikram as if looking at a pile of faeces.
On hearing this Bhavani’s mother closed both her ears with her hands unable to bear hearing anymore of her daughter’s vile behaviour. She started sobbing loudly.
Only after this did Smitha throw the bombshell. "I have recorded all this on my phone. Including you two having sex in the guest room at night. All these evidences are with sir," she said referring to me.
Vikram and Bhavani’s attention now turned to me. Bhavani’s face was a mixture of pain, shame and fear. She now knows I have directly seen her in a sexually compromising position with her lover. That left her very little to say by way of defence for her behaviour.
Bhavani’s cousin who was very close to her family and also a bit of a rough character (probably that’s why they asked him to be here) now shouted out. “We have slice this bastard open into pieces, he’s the cause of all this trouble,” he said as he moved menacingly towards Vikram.
“No, I don’t want any violence in my home,” My authoritative voice stopped her cousin in his tracks.
Though I wanted to do exactly that as much as her cousin wanted to I could not allow that to happen. Any violence would escalate the matter and expose this sordid affair to the outside world. The result is that me and my family would be victims for ridicule. Why should we suffer for other peoples wrong doing? As the man most affected by all this I opened my mouth to speak now but before I could do so Bhavani interjected and started pleading with me.
“Please forgive me … I’m so sorry, I did a big mistake ..plea…,” She started saying between sobs.
“Shut up .. stop you snivelling,” I cut her off shouting in anger. Bhavani had never seen me this angry before. I have never shown this type of anger during our years of marriage. She took one look at my face and her words got strangled in her throat.
Just then there was a knock on my front door. Everyone was stunned into silence. I calmed walked to my front door and opened it. My lawyer was standing there. “Come in Saar,” I invited him in.
Seeing my lawyer come in Bhavani’s (I could no longer refer to her as my wife even in my mind) parents put their face into their palms covering their face. Seeing him they could guess what my next course of action was going to be. By the way their shoulders shook I could know that they were crying. Bhavani’s face had gone pale. All blood had drained out of her face. The once very beautiful face didn’t look so beautiful now. Seeing my lawyer, she knew the consequences for her actions was going to be disastrous for her. Now I turned my attention to Vikram.
“You’re a creepy worm that shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near any home. You don’t have a bone of decency in your body. You’ve destroyed a family just for cheap vulgar pleasure. Only a feeling of loathing comes on seeing your face. Get out of here before I do something I will regret. Make sure I never see your repulsive face ever again if you know what’s good for you. I won’t be responsible for what happens to you after that.”
I wanted to say more but he was not worth it. It wasn’t just his doing. If Bhavani had been firm nothing would have happened anyway. He didn’t force himself on her .. she was willing inside to give herself to him.
He hesitated. He didn’t know what to do. He looked at Bhavani who was looking at the floor and crying pitifully. After seeing all our faces, finding nothing but hatred for him from everyone he slowly left my house. The poisonous snake was finally gone. Typical of an unscrupulous scoundrel like him, abandoning the woman he got into trouble when she needed him the most. He didn’t make any effort to speak up for Bhavani. Plead that it was all his fault and Bhavani was not to blame.
“See Bhavani, this is what you get from a bastard like Vikram.” Bhavani was in no condition to react in anyway to what I was saying.
"Bhavani, you don't have any choice. Put your signature on the divorce papers brought by my lawyer. I have just said that we have irreconcilable differences. I have not mentioned anything about your adulterous behaviour so your family won't be affected much nor will your young sister's future marriage plans."
Bhavani looked at me pitifully seeking my sympathy but my face was very stern.
“Your parents proposed that I marry your younger sister as the only way they can make up for horrible behaviour and to let you stay in the house at least like a servant, not a wife but I refused that even though they begged me to consider it.”
While looking at her parents I continued,” I already know the type of women there are in that family why would I be a fool to marry another one from that family?”
I know that what I said will hurt them very badly but in the state of anger that I was in I didn’t care who gets hurt. Maybe when I become calmer later and reflect on the matter I may not be too proud of the words I uttered. Hurting two old people unnecessarily wasn’t something a person could be happy to have done but now at this moment I needed to vent my suppressed anger.
"Don't be afraid, I won't say anything that will affect your younger daughter's future marriage. You can say to the family of whomever you are trying to matchmake for your younger daughter that I was the one who was prone to violence and so your first daughter got divorced.”
I didn’t want to punish Bhavani’s family for what she had done. Her parents always had been respectful to me. I know how much this must hurt them but I’m hurting as well and there are painful decisions that I have to take.
“Please .. please .. don’t punish me like this. What I did was unforgivable but give me a chance,” Bhavani finally spoke up her voice plaintive as she shuddered in fear of the consequences she now faced.
“Shut up .. did you think about me or our son when you were shamelessly enjoying yourself with that despicable rogue?” I retorted. My voice was not loud but my anger was clear for everyone to note.
“I’m so sorry .. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. I’m not asking for forgiveness. Just don’t shun me away from our family. I swear I’ll do everything possible to make up for my betrayal, “ She continued to plead.
“How do you propose to do that?”
This question stunned her to silence. She didn’t expect I would ask something like this.
She thought for a few seconds before she said,” I am deeply ashamed of my behaviour. Believe me I hate myself more now than you could hate me. I would never ever again do this horrible thing. I’ll do my utmost to care for you and our son .. I’m asking you not even to treat me as your wife but only as a servant. Don’t banish me from our home.” With tears streaked cheeks, face swollen in sorrow, she cut a pitiful figure but right now I was devoid of and incapable of showing any sympathy.
“You are saying all this because you got caught otherwise you would have continued to make a fool of me. What do you want me to do? Raise that bastard’s child as my own? You thought so little of me that you were willing to fool me like that?”
The images from the clips Smitha had given me of Bhavani and Vikram having sex in my own house kept flashing in my mind and kept my anger at boiling point. This was not a woman who felt guilty or remorse for what she was doing, she was revelling in the illicit sex. The thought that while having sex with her Vikram would have mocked me and she would have smiled when he did that was intensely painful to me.
Bhavani looked at her parents for any sort of support but they were standing there with heads hung in shame. She again turned to me and begged,” Please .. I’ll do anything you ask .. don’t punish me.”
“Really? There is one thing you can do, sign the divorce papers,” I said dispassionately.
Next was the most important thing I had to say. "From now on Avinash will be with me. You will have nothing to do with him anymore."
"Oh no, I won't agree to this no .. no …," cried Bhavani.
I was very calm not budging from my decision. Bhavani could see my determination in this matter.
"Please, I'll listen to anything else you say, I'll sign whatever you say, just don't do this." She was wailing now, slapping her head with her hands as she cried out loud.
I was silently watching her wail. I was not moved by her sorrow as my heart had turned to stone.
"If you don't agree to this, your ugly videos will be exposed. Everyone will spit on your family. Not only that, but think of Avinash's situation if this gets released."
"No, I can't, I can't be without my son," she whimpered now at the prospect of losing her son. She should have thought about this before opening her legs to Vikram.
"You should have thought of this before you became a slut to that lowlife," I shouted angrily. All the anger that I had to supress and keep bottled up and act as if nothing had happened even after seeing the video clips Smitha had showed me of how my wife had betrayed me and made a fool of me in my own house came exploding out.
"Like I said before, I’m not giving you any option. I've told you what I'll do. The decision is up to you." I continued unmoved by her tears one little bit.
"You be stubborn .. live with your son wherever you want, we as a family will commit suicide rather than face the public humiliation," Bhavani's mother said in a voice mixed with tears and anger.
For the next half an hour Bhavani begged, cried, argued tried to beg forgiveness by holding on to my feet but right now I didn’t want those fingers that caressed Vikram to even touch me. Her fingers touching me would only cause loathing within me. I moved away from her showing my aversion to her even touching me. She tried as much as she could to not lose her son but she got no support, even from her father who had been very close to her. Finally, she gave up but at the same time she seemed to have come to some sort of decision. I wasn’t in any frame of mind to bother whatever it was. Whatever she decides to do, it is of her own volition and it was her own fate.
"Sir, tomorrow I will go and stay at the working women's hostel as I have already prepared. It is not right for me to stay here when you are here alone," Smitha told me.
Bhavani’s parents firmly told her not to come to their house anymore. Bhavani cut a forlorn figure, rejected and ostracized by all. Even that rascal who had caused her to get into this problem and who at least now should have been by her side was not here. She was paying an enormous price for those moments of stolen pleasure.
"Here's some money, it will cover two months' expenses. For you having shared my life for so many years I won't send you away with nothing. I'm not such a cruel guy.
"Ma'am, this is my company card, you have to inform us where you would be staying after you find a place. You have to come when the court calls in order to finalise the divorce," my lawyer told Bhavani.
Resigned to her fate and whatever she had decided she signed the papers proffered to her with shaking hands. Since this would be a joint petition for divorce the process would be faster. Seeing his daughter signing the papers, her father couldn’t take it anymore. With a strangled sob he got up and walked away to a corner of the living room. At this time of heightened emotions even her family didn’t stop her or come to her aid. She clutched the card from the lawyer crumpling it in her hand as she turned away. She looked one last time at her parents who averted their face from her gaze. She gave me a last lingering look. I did not look away but my gaze was stoic. She took a deep breath and with a sudden purpose as if she had decided on something she walked away from my life never to return again.
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