Thriller Vendetta "Revenge Is The Purest Emotion" (Complete)AMA Wining Story by Meriaiza

[Ramesh_Rocky]

super84-

Exbii story section ke sab se bade writers me se ek Meriaiza ke naam se shaayad hi koi exbiian waakif naa ho. Bade dhoom dhadaake ke saath unki nayi story ''Vendetta: Renenge is the Purest Emotion'' shuru huyi...........sabhi readers bas ek naam 'Meriaiza' dekh kar padhne ko daud pare. Sabon ne wo sab yahaan paaya jitne ki ummeeden lekar yahaan aaye the. Lekin kahaani ka end utne dhamaakedar andaaz me nahin ho saki jitni aisi kahaani ke end par honi chaahiye thi. Shayad isme writer ki kuchh din ki absence ka dakhal ho.

Writer ne apni taraf se kahaani ki shuruwaat me Revenge yaani 'badla' ki kai definitions diye hain. Jaise......Badla ek purest emotion hai. Khoon ka badla khoon ka usool is duniya ko insaanon se paak kar de sakta hai. Badla....dard ka izhaar hai......Badla......jangal ke kaanun ki ek qism hai.

Apni kahaani me meriaiza bhai ne BADLA ki inhin definitions ko justify......badi kamyaabi ke sath kiya hai.

Kahani shuru hoti hai ek bade brutal khooni drame ke sath. Jise padh kar rongte khade ho jaate hain. Picturisation itna badhiya tha ki reader ko lag raha th jaise us khooni draame ko apni aankhon se dekh rahe hain. Iss me 'Badla' ki aag me sulagta ek naujawaan......Kahani ke hero Rahul se bad-tareen badla leta hai. Rahul ki wife Kalpana jiso wo dilojaan se chaahta hai.....aur jo uske bachche ki maa ban'ne waali hai....ko uske marriage day par aisa Tohfa milta hai........jaisa sahayad kisi ko naa milaa ho......aur naa hi kisi ko mile.

Us namaalum naujawaan ke laaye teen gundon ne pahle jaanwaron ki tarah uski izzat loota........phir bandhe huye Rahul ke saamne hi uski gardan kaat di gayi aur uske jism ke tukde tude kiye gaye. In sab ko writer ne iss khoobi ke sath likha ki Rahul ka dard sabhi apne dilon me mehsus kiye bina nahi rah sake.

Tab ek naya haiwaan ka janm hua. Rahul ab badle ki aag me jhulaste huye insaan ke roop me bahut hi khatarnak aur haiwaaniyat se bhara dikhayi pada.

Iske baad wo apni security officer ki naukri ko chhod unn darindon ki talash shuru kiya. Is me pulisiya sujh bujh aur purane relations ka sahaara lete huye aur apni jaan hatheli par rakh kar usne unn teen darindon ko ek darinde ki tarah hi khatm kiya.

Jab wo finaly aakhri aur sab se aham kirdar se badla lene pahucha tab use pata chala ki ye sab draama kyon hua. Aur tab wo khud se shamsaar hua.

Ek insaan jaane anjaane me jo galtiyaan kar baithata hai uska nateeja kya hota hai ye wo nahin jaan paata. Masoom Priya se apni mehrumiyon ka badla lekar Rahul usay poori tarah bhula diya. Usay pata bhi nahin chala aur na usne koshish kiya pata karne ki......ki pregnant hone ke baad kaise Priya ne apni jaan de di. Uski maa mar gayi. Baap paaglon jaisa ho gaya.

Tab usay usay ehasaaas hua ki usne kya kar diya tha.

Iske baad bhi uska dil isay insaaf nahin maana jo Kalpana ke sath hua. Aur aakhir me usne apna badla poora kar liya.

Meriaiza bhai ki Shaahkaar tahreer hai 'Vendetta.......' Ek kahani ke jitne element hote hain sab yahaan mojud hai. Bhumika, Central View, description, characterisation, diologs, climax aur end. Sab laajawaab hain.

Kahani me kirdaron ke bich hone waali baaten bahot loud aur selected words waale hain. Baaten is qadar filmi andaz me hoti hain ki kabhi kabhi hakikat se thodi hat kar bhi maalum padi. Lekin jiss level ke kirdar the shayad unki baaten waisi hi hoti hon....ham ye maan kar maze liye.

Sach hai ki badla ek aisa jazba hai jo samne aaye har chiz ko apne lapete me le leta hai. Iss se mutassir insan sairf apna badla dekhta hai.......aur kuchh usay dikhaayi nahi deta. Aur sath hi ham ne yah bhi dekha ki 'dar-guzar' kar dena bhi ek bada badla hai. Rahul ko zinda chhod kar usne Rahul se kaisa badla liya ye ham kahaani ki aakhri hisse ko padh kar jaan gaye.

Iss tarah kuchh kamiyon ke bawajood yah ek bemisaal kahaani hai. Iske har hisse me writer Meriaiza ke kalam ka jadu dekhne ko mil jaata hai.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Sarhad-

Finally completed reading the story today. This is undoubtedly the best story written by Meriaiza. The concept is very unique. Infact this is the most unique story of eXBii in terms of concept. I have seen many korean movies and the type of violence they show is something like the violence depicted in this story. However, showing something in a movie is quite easy as compared to writing the same thing and hoping that the readers get the same amount of shock/thrill while reading it. The situations and the words used in the narrative are absolutely terrific. Not only do they convey the scene efficiently, but also depict the roller coaster of emotions that Rahul goes through. The desperation, the anger, the need to avenge is beautifully captured by meriaiza.

another unique thing about the story is the way in which it unfolds. with the prologue, meriaiza ensured that the readers are totally hooked to the story. the chapter wise depiction was excellent and beautifully pieced all the puzzles of the story together. The narrative is very tight and at no point of time do u feel that the story is getting stagnated or there are some questions which ought to be answered now. infact after coming to the end, you wish that there was more of this great masterpiece to read and meriaiza has cleverly plugged the sequel to keep the viewers interested. the intrigue factor is maintained superbly and the culmination of the story is adequate.

On the negative side, i feel there were far too many grammatical errors in the last part (which is partly my fault as i was not able to proof read due to other commitments). one thing which i found wanting in this story was the depth of the characters used. all the characters were too one-dimensional. more insight into the characters of people other than Rahul would have been good but there was always a risk of the story becoming boring in case a couple of updates are spent just to establish the characters.

All in all, i think this is one of the best stories i have read in a long time and certainly the best story i have ever read on exbii. the expectations from the sequel are humongous now and i know for sure that meriaiza will do justice to the story and it will supersede this story in my list

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[Ramesh_Rocky]

friend_just_buddy-

Sorry for late arrival bro
Well! I am just no one to judge when it comes to a masterpiece written/created by Meriazia bhai

Vendetta! Is something which just stand far ahead in this story section of exbii where we can have many-many good stories in fact great stories. The very first moment When I saw this titile under the name of Meriazia! I couldn’t hold ma self to have a look immediately. This something I never expected from Meriazia.Its not about the caliber but the plot actually ….. Meriazia is known for his love stoies or something really soft but Vendetta! Whole story has given us a cold waves in spines. Vendetta! a story of pure revenge… with all ugly brutality but written so beautifully that once you start it reading , u ll surely get stuck to it….till the final lines come in ur way. Vendetta! Created a record in the history of exbii’s story section (as far as my knowledge concern) ….. it got the maximum viewership in a single week and crossed the 1 million mark line

Final verdict:- its such a unique story I ever read anywhere….. some guys find it close to some Korean movies but for me its complete a new experience in reading. Meriazia! After this story you have added a gem in your story’s list. Keep adding GEM like this
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[Ramesh_Rocky]

[img=86x16]file:///customavatars/avatar1305003_3.gif[/img] k2soni


I had promised to give a review of this story but am sorry that I forgot. I was reminded of my promise and am pleased to give my review, albeit late, but still:-

Vendetta "Revenge Is The Purest Emotion"

When I read the announcement of the story and the prologue I could not foresee the story progressing in such a fantastic way and ending in such a high drama. Being new to exbii and not knowing Meriaiza's writing skills, I was bewildered as the story progressed and spell bound by the turn of events. It gripped me as well as all other readers from the very start and each update was eagerly awaited and devoured by, not only me, but all the readers.

Characterisation and introduction of all the characters was impeccable with no loose ends. Very tightly written story but each scene was picturised by giving full details and each emotion, the pain, the suffering and sorrow was described in totality without wasting any words. That is the hallmark of a seasoned writer.

Right from the beginning Rahul was portrayed as the sufferer and Vidyut the evil guy. But for me Vidyut was the real protagonist as he completed his mission of taking revenge and left Rahul to live and suffer in misery and then gave his life away as he had lost all his loved ones and the reason to live.

Doing full justice to its name, Meriaiza finished the story in his own typical way. I call it a writer's prerogative. There would have been comments even if the story had been ended any other way. So it is best the way it was ended by the writer himself.

Overall an excellent story which puts Meriaiza way above many genuine writers of this forum.

The sequel to the story as promised by Meriaiza is still awaited eagerly.
[img]file:///images/smilie4/repped.gif[/img] in anticipation.
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[Ramesh_Rocky]

tinugaur-

Review (scale 1 to 10) visited pages randomly
1. Originality of contents – 9
2. Update frequency - 6
3. Visitors attraction – 7
4. Comments: A very good thread catering to BDSM loving visitors. This is the only thread which I had to go through thoroughly before giving review. You have spent a lot of time on writing the posts. The idea is captivating. My advice is to start a new story without much gap. Please note that my views are not on the story but on the thread as a whole.
5. Overall rating- 7

These are reviewer’s personal views and may vary from what others feel

[Ramesh_Rocky]

raaka-


[img]file:///images/icons/icon14.gif[/img] Absolutely Phenomenal ! Total Perfection ! 10 out of 10

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Gosh... Where to start?

Meri Bhai I sincerely apologize and you know why :-( Trust me this is the first time I had such a difficulty to write a review for such a beautiful story. You know sometimes it is very difficult to write anything which is so beautifully written and believe me I am not convinced what I am writing. It is looking all dull in front of such a marvelous piece which is written it so beautifully. A short hollywood type movie completed in 1:30 hours but this story blew me away!

It is the BEST story I have ever read and Characters are excellent in this story!! If any of you have not read this story, go and read it right now, I swear to you, you will NOT be disappointed! Anybody who didn't give this story a 10 rating is completely insane because it has a very good concept. It mixes anger, passion, love, insanity, everything you can think of, very well. It's a perfectly balanced story and they show every side of Meriaiza as a writer. We could not have gotten a better author to write on such a plot. I love you, you are my hero and always will be.

First of all, there probably will be spoilers in this comment (I don't dare call it a review), so if you haven't read the story and intend to, you should probably look away or maybe not, if your intent is to prepare yourself to read it. If you're reading this, then you've probably read most of the other comments so I won't offer any synopsis, you know what it's about in terms of storyline. However, NOTHING can prepare you for this emotional devastation that is "Vendetta".

It's a primal assault on the senses and emotions, unlike any other I've ever experienced. One word of advice: if you really want to try to get to the core of this work, read it until the very end. Beware though: it is literally NOT for the faint of heart. And I don't mean queasy stomachs by that, although those sensitive in that area should also think thrice before deciding to read this.

Fantastically brilliant. I must say, I had no interest whatsoever in The Vendetta. I put it aside like I did few other stories. When Meri asked me I should read it once and it is his best story ever written.

That changed.

This story is not for everyone. It's a dour, sadistic tale of vengeance or, as Meriaiza would put it, "Vendetta". Charactors were well cast for their roles in this story - screw what others think. Of course, I can't say with certainty that they were well cast for their roles in the story, so let me restate what I was meaning to say: they were well cast, period. (For example, Vidyut may have supposed to be more sinister, but I liked him more as a character who was just a little bit more evil than the Rahul). Lots of people may have said that Vidyut plays a deathly dull villain. I disagree. You could almost feel compassion for the guy: he wasn't a rapist, a person who wanted mass genocide, or a mafia boss; he was just a ruthless, intolerant businessman. If it wasn't for Rahul, he would have probably remained on good terms.

This is a good thing because it kind of makes you wonder: who is the good guy and bad guy in this story? Vidyut wanted to avenge his Sister suicide. For a villain, that's a justified and honorable move. That showed his love for her, even if how he showed it was wrong. Rahul became an avenger but at the same time he also became that which he hated the most at the time: a mirror reflection of Vidyut. If Vidyut was portrayed as a pure devil instead of just an unfortunate, corrupt businessman, the story would have turned into (more of a) traditional tale of good vs. evil. Which would have been boring as a first story.

Meri's story is simple,: a man and his wife is killed, she is bangd and tortured, and he comes back as an undead to wreak bloody revenge on the gang that did these horrible things. The execution of the plot sets it apart from similar revenge tales. Everything from the scripting, the characters, ploting, and the barbarian scene with-in the first 4 updates set this from a simple popcorn reading and into the realm of true art.

First, the scripting. There are so many wonderful quotes in this story that it is impossible to list them all. Each character is given its own unique voice and personality. Of course, brilliant as the script is, none of these characters would have found their unique dialogue / roles if not for the casting done by our great author Meriaiza.

The first 4 updates of the story is an absolute abomination. The first twenty minutes are something that will probably stay in your mind for life. It is that barbaric and gruesome. I freely admit, I could read only part of the murder / bang that takes place. I had to avert, even close, my eyes and I had to skip few lines, until the monstrous deed was done. This sequence is formidably potent, and has the power to make you feel literally close to panic. For the record, I've read it all too. I don't think I can clearly depict here in mere words the why and how, the reason, regarding why it's so brutal, so raw a shock, but the fact is, it's a lightning bolt right into your cortex.

Frankly speaking, the infamous bang / murder scene of Kalpana is not nearly as traumatizing. Sure, it's atrocious, hard, viciously brutal. But honestly, what do you expect from a bang? Of course it's gonna be one the most despicable act that you'll see, no surprise here. It's for sure what a bang should be: violently repulsive and merciless. However, except for a few seconds at the scene's end, it's nowhere near as primitive and graphically indescribable as the first -and only- murder in the story. People that complain about the brutal bang scene need to wake up and face reality. The scene is not there for the sake of shock. The point that the author (Meri) was trying to make is that bang is brutal and disgusting. Most writers do not have the guts to show horrible things in a realistic light. Hats off to Meriaiza..

Perhaps after reading this story people will realize how horrible bang can be. Most guys just hear "bang" on the news and don't think about the violence associated with it. If you can't stomach it do the same.

Come to think of it, it's not even really for all fans of the Meriaiza. To me the plot was great, awesome fight scenes, some humor mixed in made for an incredible story. Definitely followed up to what I would hope to expect from Meriaiza. I definitely hope Meri make a prequel and a Sequel considering I think this is a much better story ever written.

All this being said, this work is THE most vibrant anti-violence statement I've ever seen put on a story. There is no embellishment of any kind here, no stylish editing, smart cuts, fast story... It shows violence -and all of it- only as it should be seen: repulsive to the extreme, blindly and uselessly destructive, utterly unable to resolve anything, and as the most terrifying dead-end that exists; indeed, having totally irreversible results.

There is no coming back from such acts, no redemption either. Man just has to live with his obsession of being stronger than his neighbour, whatever it takes. It's also, let's admit it, a very cruel story, in terms of its resolution -yes, the beginning of the story as such, as the character of Rahul destroys the wrong man, and the bang's perp is not only alive and kicking, but apparently rejoicing at the sight of another act of terrifying violence.

That, by the way, puts an end once and for all to all the ridiculous comments I've heard ever for such a glorification of revenge. This is in total opposition to what really happens in this story. It's up there for everyone to read. The story is much too clever to try to deliver a lesson however, but it's obvious to anyone who read it closely that Meri does not condone violence of any kind, but condemns it without appeal. He just gives a cold, harsh look at whatever is sleeping -or not- inside ALL of us.

There is no clear cut, prefabricated opinion to have about the madness and rage these people dive in. This is part of the unease we feel as we read... The characters are likeable, but blend. Anyone could be in their place. The story shows it as real as it gets, not only the violence of course, but in terms of witnessing plain, normal people who are going straight to hell because of uncontrollable circumstances.

In the end, Vendetta is a most unique, if sobering, experience. A traumatizing experience, but ultimately a rewarding one, as there is good and beauty in the story too. It's quite a paradoxical feeling though, and starkly ironic; this beauty is all the more dramatic because as we are witness to it, we do know at the same time it's about to be irremediably destroyed soon. Of course this story, like any other, has its detractors. Some may say that it glorifies violence. Granted. It does glorify violence revenge.

That doesn't change the underlying fact that this is a truly beautiful story, and does have another, positive message of not taking one moment for granted with a loved one, since one never knows when that loved one won't be there any more. Some may say that it is a simple "bug-hunt" story. Once again, this is true. The difference is that most such stories are indifferently put together and aimed at the lowest common denominator, while this story strives for and achieves a higher level than that.

So finally, whether or not you'll be willing to pay quite a lot in terms of emotional cost to experience the power of this story is all the question.

Good luck...

Cheers,

Raaka,

[Ramesh_Rocky]

the_assassin-

Before I attempt an evaluation to this story, I would like to state that, I wish to be honest with it.


The story is truly a good-read, fast paced, sensational and overwhelming with grimness, and with all that a well-crafted thriller tends to promise. In one word, a MASTERPIECE. The violence and gory bloodshed is at times voraciously shocking and, and when reminded of the initial brutality to the couple, and especially the horror and helplessness of a husband when his wife is bangd and butchered in front of his eyes, it pleases. The transition from one chapter to another is well-handled and at the end of one update, a reader wishes to know what happens next. The action scenes are brilliantly depicted as well, giving the visuals as perfect as a film-script narrative. The mystery is also unfolded with artistry, and not as a sudden introduction of all that had happened in the past. The end with a question for a 'Right to live' is of the greatest impact.

It requires a great deal of imagination and a vast knowledge of plot-construction to create one story like this, and Meri bhai stands out to be a master in it. A perfect 10/10 for, plot-constitution and imagination.

However, the description did not please me so much as the story-line did. When a lady is getting helplessly bangd and then would be butchered, her undergarments and her figure should not be of any interest. All that counts there is the agony she is going through. Again, the villains, (except Mr. X) I feel, were not of much merit, though they are described to be much feared in the area. They fell prey to the anger of the main protagonist with hardly any resistence from their part. Moreover, there hadn't been much attention paid in narrating the environment (such as objective co-relatives and stock situations) which actually helps in creating the aura of pity, fear, and suspence. Though, the simplicity of the language and the way it is delivered, is highly worthy of praise. There is a confusion between 'than' and 'then' which I found many times in the story. So, I will give Meri bhai, a 7/10 for the description, which, though successfully delivers the message, disturbs its artistic value, which otherwise, is as precious as a black pearl...



As a conclusion, I would just add, that the story holds a lot of quality to be in stands in paperbacks or hard cover, and I won't ever be surprised, if I see it someday at any book stall. The only thing it needs, is a bit more concentration on creating an environment before introducing the characters into the plot.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Drift_King21-

At start i must explain this that its very hard for me to review Meri Bhai's story as i look upto him for writing and this was the very story which got me inspired so much that i started writing so coming to the story.

The first thing you note about Vendetta is that it moves at a very fast pace as i m a book addict and read so many novels i love when a story dont get lethargic for no good reason and thats one of the beauty of this story, it dont even give you breathing space, one after another event keeps on unfolding and you just holds your breath that whats next ?? ... Now the plot-construction is just too good its not everyday that one's read a story with such a solid plot and then the execution is just top notch, during the whole story i never felt i got disconnected from the main protagonist i was feeling like i m moving all along him and visualizing each and everything which was happening in the story. Specially the killing of SALEEM was just too good and i dont have words how to explain that scene that was just a classic and the fact that i read the story about a month back and still i remember SALEEM just because of the way Meri Bhai described that scene i don't remember in my whole life in any thrilling novel i have read anything close to that even. And ofcourse the ending was absolute marvelous cant think of a better ending than that and i have heard that Meri Bhai is planning to write the sequeal to this story that will be really great this story deserves a sequel.

Now coming to the negatives frankly i cant find any simply because i m in love with this story but may be the bang scene was written for the erotic story contest as Meri Bhai mentioned that actually he planned this story to be posted in the contest but i think in such a story the detailing of the incident was bit over the top. But thats a very little point because other than that its hard to find any negatives.

To conclude my review i think this story is simply one of the best in the stories section and may be i have not read many other famous stories of stories section and they can be better than this as well i have no doubt about that but i think my passion for this story will not decrease one bit. And as i mentioned in my dictionary i don't find proper words for the praise of this story and i hope Meri Bhai dont take such long breaks between posting their stories .

[Ramesh_Rocky]

aarushi1977-

The prologue was vague but well written. Vague in the sense that actually i was unable to understand as what was actually happening. Later as i read that twice i understood that those conversation was happening between two persons who wanted some revenge and has deep sanity brewing inside them.

First chapter seems to be very lovely.
The second chapter took me by ride, what a hell of a description of the helpless ness of husband and his beautiful wife writing in pain and fear. The most attractive was the sanity of the two unknown characters.

Third chapter took me by ride. My ears were literally burning while i read those lines when Kalpana was getting bangd.
Hat's off to you dude.
Looking out for more.. will write as i go on ..

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aarushi1977 View Post
The prologue was vague but well written. Vague in the sense that actually i was unable to understand as what was actually happening. Later as i read that twice i understood that those conversation was happening between two persons who wanted some revenge and has deep sanity brewing inside them.

First chapter seems to be very lovely.
The second chapter took me by ride, what a hell of a description of the helpless ness of husband and his beautiful wife writing in pain and fear. The most attractive was the sanity of the two unknown characters.

Third chapter took me by ride. My ears were literally burning while i read those lines when Kalpana was getting bangd.
Hat's off to you dude.
Looking out for more.. will write as i go on ..


Meriaiza-

I wrote the Prologue intentionally that way. As you will read more you'll understand. Thanks for liking the start of the story and I hope you will enjoy the remaining story even more.
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[Ramesh_Rocky]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aarushi1977 View Post
Very very raw fourth update...
i am bit emotional person so i am not going tom write anything about killing of a helpless pregnant woman .. soooooryyyy brother you have brought tears in my eyes .. i would have killed you then and there ..


Meriaiza-

Kindly keep on reading the story. If it made you sad and hurt then that only means I achieved what I wanted with that update. Trust me none of the cruelty in this story is just for the sake of it and you will understand it as you will read more. BTW such heinous things happen all around us everyday. I'm not glorifying it and only showing the picture of the things that happen in this cruel world.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aarushi1977 View Post
drift_king21: i could not get you as what you meant to say?
do you write only of bloodied stories?


Meriaiza-


Aarushi your post about killing me there and then was out of taste and as DK is a writer himself, what else were you expecting him to say when you were giving death threat to a writer? Do you burn down the news agencies when the post news about bangs and murders? Do you burn the cinema halls and go on to kill the director and actors of the violent films? If the answer is no then isn't it wrong to say this to me? On top of that you haven't read the whole story yet and coming to conclusions just after reading 4 updates. Kindly read the whole story and you'll realize that nothing in this story is being done for the sake of it. Last but not least where does violence comes from? From the minds of creative people like writers, directors etc or from the sick society we live in? Talking about such issues will help us grow more as human beings rather then ignoring these things as if they don't exist at all. Anyway that's my way of thinking. You are free to think as you want to.
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[Ramesh_Rocky]

aarushi1977-

If in anysense i have hurt the writer i will try my best to refrain myself from such derogatory comments in future..
in those line i did not meant to pose any threat to any of the person even after that if i have offended some one i am sorry and i will keep my replies to myself only

[Ramesh_Rocky]

pinuram-

Thumbs up Review
About the story:
The tale starts with a dark conversation, whole scene is black infront of the eyes of the beholder. The conversation is well paced from which the revenge and sanity trickles with every word spoken by those characters.
The story continues and the beholder observe a sweet and sour tale of the main character, around which the story revolves. The love for his spouse and the tenderness is well depicted.
Then comes the grotesque parts. As a matter of fact, this story has a pace of its own. This story needed the velocity and it had that velocity of the events. Bloods and revenge were all over the place in each and every lines of the story and the observer was going according to the velocity along with the main character showing their heartiest compassion.
Then the reason came infront of the observer. Newton's Third Law "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". Well the action was unpredictable but very well depicted. The one sided love of the main character and the refusal that made him mad. The bang and the girl lost in oblivion.
After finishing the story, the observer sat on his chair for quiet sometime. Tried to fathom hard as what should be done with the main character? The sawn-song was rather dark one. It was black swan. He does not deserve to live in this world. Well then the observer thought that "Death is only a path of relieve. He should not be relieved from his pains. He should live and see his death beckoning him from the infinite horizon. He crawls towards those stretched arms of Kalpana but he does not reach. That should be his punishment."

About the writer:
Few words to write about a writer of this caliber. You have done a well balanced justice with your thought and penned down those images very aptly. At times I felt the velocity was rather high and at times it was low. It felt like crest and troughs of a river. The troughs were times when you were describing grotesque scenes. The crests were also the same. Now how can be both occur at same place. The grotesque scenes were narrated well, but I felt that much of details made the scene bit extra bloodied.
I also felt few troughs in the depiction of relation between Priya and Rahul.
The crescendo was the call to Lavanya.

Swan Song:
This story is a full cycle, please do not create a sequel of this. You can write another story with same line of thought but not a sequel.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Meriaiza-

Pinu bro thanks a lot for such high praise and an amazing review. I'm really glad that you liked the story and added your review in the index as well now. As for the sequel, don't worry. I never cash in on the success of a story or milk it by extending the story more then it's original destination. I really have planned something for the sequel and that's why will write it. I was working out the details in my mind about the plot and characters for the past few months and trust me when I'll start the sequel in April, you guys will not be disappointed.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

rohithot4u-


This is the first English story I read in this forum. Well I read only few though anyway. But I always invest my time in stories which can give me emotional ride. And after reading this one I was thrilled to the core. when I opened the first update on my mobile, I wanted to see what this story is about and planned to read later if I liked anything. But very first update hooked me to the story. It was such a hook that I could not close the exbii window from my mobile and carried to the conclusion. I wanted to know why did they kill poor woman, cut her into the pieces and took her fragmented pieces into suitcase. Such a tragedy with protagonist on his anniversary was devastating to read. And along with rahul I ventured to the journey of revenge. Best part of this journey was that it was short. Writer didn’t give unnecessary details which could have killed such a fast paced plot.

meriaza bro reading such a revenge here was wonderful experience for me.

verdict: must read. Rated 5

rohit4u

[Ramesh_Rocky]

aarushi1977-

Thumbs up Vendetta
I started reading this story, from the first few lines I apprehended that this story would be different from any other story in this forum and my apprehension proved to be fitting.
A very well paced story with the description of scenes were good. The pace was justified as it was a story of a vengeful actions. From the first words "GO", the writer kept the intentions in dark, which I liked most in this story. Gradually the incidents unfurled like "Rafelsia Philadelphia". Why I named this flower? Because this is the most largest flower in the plant kingdom. However the flower is not a beautiful one.
The story was definitely a beautiful one in its true sense. The writer came up with proper justification in the end as what made the main character to receive that pain.
Few points felt to be lacking, in the beginning, there should have few more description of love between Kalpana and Rahul. I think, that would have done justification to the bonding between the husband and wife.
The most eccentric part which I felt was the bang of Priya.
I finished the story with gore heart and that was the most loved thing I fathomed in my heart after reading.

NOTE : Please do not take my words as a review, I am just writing few lines that I felt about.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

xyster-

i am spellbound meri bhai...

to tell u the truth.. i never took story section guys, who also are die hard NHBians, seriously as i never thought writing could be a serious business.. just for the heck of it i started my lulli story... it was very easy and came without any efforts from my side so i really didnt worry about how someone thinks about it... then i wrote my entry for this valentine's day contest.. i wrote a 12000 words in 3-4 hours...but spent three days in editing it to 3500 words... and after putting in so much effort i was very eager to know how it really came about... i sent pms to ppl to review my story and they did...

when u asked ppl in NHB about their opinions on ur stories i thought u r just being an ASW and thought nothing about ur being a writer at all... but now... after what i went through i know what being appreciated for his efforts means for a writer... and it does take an effort to bring an idea to words... it wasnt for me because both my stories are very close to real life... but for a fulltime writer who has different ideas for different stories... putting them into words really calls for an effort.. i salute u..

i wont comment on the substance of the story and your writing style... because i dont think i am capable enough to do that... me giving comments on ur story will be like uday chopra commenting on acting skills of dilip kumar... all i can say.. that while reading the story i could feel the characters... i could feel how anything was said .. the anger and pleading in the voice of the characters was all felt by me... i got angry... sad... terrified by the charcters... i think the best story is the one where the reader himself feels as one of the characters...

brilliant
_________________

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aarushi1977 View Post
I started reading this story, from the first few lines I apprehended that this story would be different from any other story in this forum and my apprehension proved to be fitting.
A very well paced story with the description of scenes were good. The pace was justified as it was a story of a vengeful actions. From the first words "GO", the writer kept the intentions in dark, which I liked most in this story. Gradually the incidents unfurled like "Rafelsia Philadelphia". Why I named this flower? Because this is the most largest flower in the plant kingdom. However the flower is not a beautiful one.
The story was definitely a beautiful one in its true sense. The writer came up with proper justification in the end as what made the main character to receive that pain.
Few points felt to be lacking, in the beginning, there should have few more description of love between Kalpana and Rahul. I think, that would have done justification to the bonding between the husband and wife.
The most eccentric part which I felt was the bang of Priya.
I finished the story with gore heart and that was the most loved thing I fathomed in my heart after reading.

NOTE : Please do not take my words as a review, I am just writing few lines that I felt about.


Meriaiza-


First of all thanks for reading the story despite finding the subject hard to read. I know this is not a review but still you shared your views about the story. I just want to take this opportunity to reply to a few points raised by you and some other friends.

The reason why I didn't wrote about the relationship of Kalpana and Rahul, or as few asked didn't described the other characters of the story in detail is a deliberate one. This story is all about revenge. Giving the back stories of all characters in detail would have only lessen the impact of the story. Every person has a story of his own but not all of them are important in the grander scheme of things. This is ofcourse my way of thinking and you and a few others may or may not will agree with this but it's important for a writer to stick to his goals while writing. Frankly if I would have written this story all over again then I will not even change a single line. This was probably my 12th story till now but for the first I'm satisfied with the result. Once again thanks for your kind words.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Quote:
Originally Posted by xyster View Post
i am spellbound meri bhai...

to tell u the truth.. i never took story section guys, who also are die hard NHBians, seriously as i never thought writing could be a serious business.. just for the heck of it i started my lulli story... it was very easy and came without any efforts from my side so i really didnt worry about how someone thinks about it... then i wrote my entry for this valentine's day contest.. i wrote a 12000 words in 3-4 hours...but spent three days in editing it to 3500 words... and after putting in so much effort i was very eager to know how it really came about... i sent pms to ppl to review my story and they did...

when u asked ppl in NHB about their opinions on ur stories i thought u r just being an ASW and thought nothing about ur being a writer at all... but now... after what i went through i know what being appreciated for his efforts means for a writer... and it does take an effort to bring an idea to words... it wasnt for me because both my stories are very close to real life... but for a fulltime writer who has different ideas for different stories... putting them into words really calls for an effort.. i salute u..

i wont comment on the substance of the story and your writing style... because i dont think i am capable enough to do that... me giving comments on ur story will be like uday chopra commenting on acting skills of dilip kumar... all i can say.. that while reading the story i could feel the characters... i could feel how anything was said .. the anger and pleading in the voice of the characters was all felt by me... i got angry... sad... terrified by the charcters... i think the best story is the one where the reader himself feels as one of the characters...

brilliant



Meriaiza-


Dil khush kar dita ai jatta. Yeah bro at times it feels awkward to me as well when I ask friends to read my stories and tell me what they think of the effort but their honest opinion is the only way for me to improve myself in future. Well that and ofcourse when you work hard then it's natural to hope for some appreciation. It was a difficult story to write but at the end of the day the response has been so good that I must admit that all the effort was worth it. Thanks to you bro and everyone who appreciated my effort. Honestly you guys are my source of inspiration while writing and I hope that in future as well I'll be able to give you guys stories that are as good as this one.