Your Ideal partner in Bed

[Bhavana92]

Hi All,
          The biggest reason why we cheat on our partner or even visit sites like this is bcoz there is still something missing in our sex life. I guess it would be nice to express your dreams about an ideal partner on an anonymous site like this, and hopefully gain some insight into what others(both male and female) think on the subject. Before you reply, please close your eyes and think about your ideal sex partner for a moment. Then start typing. If we get to know each other's perspectives and desires, may be we can bridge the gap between what we are and what we can become, in the bedroom, for our sake and our partner's sake. Please only express your true desires.
 I'll start by mentioning some of mine. I'll keep adding to it as and when i remember.
First and foremost, he should be clean and hygienic. Body odor, especially bad breath and unclean genitals is a mood killer.
He should be tall and physically fit with lots of stamina.
Should be ready to mix things up and experiment, with my consent.
He should love foreplay.
Calling bad words or slapping during sex is understandable but shouldn't do it outside, especially in front of friends.
Lastly, he should be confident and strong both mentally and physically, someone who owns me in every possible way.

[niharikap]

you are 100% right. Cheating on your partner should never be an option especially if you r married, rather both of you should talk to each other and become a little more accommodating to the other person's desires. My husband is the sweetest man I've met but I don't know how to talk to him about my desires without making him question my past. We are both from traditional backgrounds (especially him) which makes sex a taboo subject to talk about. We have been married for 2 years. He was a virgin at the time of our marriage. He thinks I was too. Sometimes I think I should have told him everything about my past before marriage so that we started our relationship on the basis of truth and trust. Now its too late. A divorce can damage not just us, but our families too. So if I am to talk about my ideal partner(or the changes I want to see in my husband) first thing would be open communication. If you talk with an open mind, 90% of compatibility issues can be resolved. Second change is attention. Every woman wants her husband's undivided attention when he's at home. If he is more into work, friends and tv even at home, it makes you feel worthless and dejected. third thing is something you have already mentioned. Foreplay. The time I feel the most loved is when i am being kissed and spoken to in a soft voice. Thinking that penetration is the only step in sex is painful both mentally and physically. Fourth is regularity. Having sex once in 3 or 4 months is not enough. It should happen at least once a month if not more. Lastly I want him to take control of me in the bedroom instead of asking me if I am alright every 30 secs. Thanks for raising this topic. I feel less burdened now.

[Ghaintjatt1]

Gud topic

[Bhavana92]

Thanks to both Niharika and Rupesh for their insight. I never thot men face the same problems as women. Regarding living life in the moment, I guess you are referring to extra-marital affair, Rupesh. It is understandable in your situation but trust me, it can also bring you life long pain, if caught. I have experienced it. I also have a friend who is cheating on her hubby with her sister's husband. Imagine what will happen if either of them finds out. What ever pleasure she is having now will be nothing in front of that pain. Even if you decide to cheat, my advice would be to do it with an escort. That way there won't be any urge to call the same person again and again. For women, its a lot trickier. I once paid a male escort 25000 thinking that he will be professional and discreet. But he started calling me regularly asking for more money. When guys offer sex for free, you know it is dangerous. But when a guy asks such a huge amount for one night, you trust him thinking that he will treat it as a job. But the way he treated me was like I am the escort. I had to change my address and phone number to get rid of him. What is ironic is that if he had behaved professionally, I would have recommended him to my friends. He could have made a truck load of money if he was not such a douche. Anyway that was the last time I trusted a guy I met online. Safety and privacy are always more important than pleasure for women. Men have no idea how lucky they are...

[RocketRaj]

Nice thread and candid discussions - Like this spirit. Well said Rupesh, NIharika and Bhavana.
Let me add a few love bytes into this.
The most essential ingredient in a Human relationship is trust and mutual understanding. Take it to different levels, you have different relationship. The basis is the Man-Woman (well you could also have same sex also) attraction.
The Boy has an attraction to a Woman starting with his Mother right from the umbilical cord. Human culture deifies relationships into different branches motherly, sibling and the rest are Man-Woman by the laws of nature. (Not to get into the incest line here)

Now on this front, the conventional relationship recognition by society is the consummation of marriage. In most cultures, this is the licence to sex. Of course the other duties to man woman like siring and raising progeny with the lofty objective of contributing to the diversity of the gene pool, to providing hands for tilling the land, cooking the rice and fighting the wars. So Sex is life.
I recognise the struggle of Rupesh - most people live in these cases. No palatial bungalows with lavish spaces to enjy the pleasures with the Kama sutra ways and positions (not saying those blessed with that hav ticket to heaven, apparently they have their same woes). And love making is constrained to their 5mins of shaking and huff-puff and then off, to not making noise to let their neighbours or MIL-FIL wake up. And lets the conventional milieu - Guys busy with career office and consumed. Housewife (not to caricature but this is the scene for many) where the Wife having done her first phase of conjugal duties has delivered the offsprings. Now Indian family values spend a lot of time fussing and rearing kids. So off goes wife into this. On the otherhand the working women syndrome - career, events, still family and kids so it sucks off her energies. So apparently they have their diversions to devote their energies, and this eclipses the sex drive. And so it leaves our conventional Husband guys hanging high and dry! (HAH)

Well folks - there are the options- try to bring sex back into Married life. Take breaks, have Kids off on vacation or babysitting Folks And go off with wife on break. So switch off Office and switch on Wife - honeymoons. Try it - and you have to try hard to create the scene. You have to invest in the time. I have tried this and it works Upton a point.
Other option - each try out their scene to get a partner. So this might involve flirting in office or off, neighbourhood chakkar or whatever each Man or Woman can muster. I like this - more spice and variety. Donot have too many preferences, because they come in all sizes and hassles. Just take care never get self or her/ him into trouble. Enjoy till it lasts.
Well - Bhavana - thanks for the candidness - Escorts of either kind come at a price and then sometimes it stinks. These days in that profession there is no good guy/ gal. They are all there to make their money and cant think of but milk their customer. Yes - they should be professional and should not kill their golden hen, but if they were smart enough they would have been thriving in business. So once you get your bang for the buck, then they still want to get more bucks out of you. i am not surprised that happened as you said. Pretty resourceful of you to get out. I have had to help friends off this, and it can get nasty. Never can get too clean, so never went that way but for a high end geisha event (these are safe secure and professional). If you like to get your adventure tryout places like Gleeden or Badoo. Some hunting there but take your precautions.

[RocketRaj]

And LoL - I dint cover the climax point -

Sex is fun when its all in. 
First - Full consent and no conscience pricking thing (other than the mans prick). Force and farce is not befitting a real Man or Woman.
Next - Hygiene is important - Clean Ur private parts. No taboo, no badboo!! 
So Guys shower, clean up ur pole and balls. Girls trim Ur bush and wash. Remember thru Ur cycles there is a lot of secretion down there, Pussy needs cleaned regular (atleast befor)
Washing hands is a good idea (god knows what’s been in that hand) - especially Guys screwing their Maid (the smart idea is to do it after she’s done the household chores; else imagine Wife coming home and scolding maid been busy doing what? Why all the dishes are still piled). So get her to do a good cleanoff especially the dishwash soap off her hands. 
Imagine wife down on U and asking whys Ur rod tasting of dishwash??
Or for Girls who got a Driver and like him drive too - get him wash off the grease before he get gets his hands under Ur skirt. Imagine U get home after a long drive (Traffic, car breaks down daily) and hubby finding some nice greasy palm prints on Ur butt (and wonders - were u sitting on the jack?? U can actually say yes    but also think of a good explanation why bare-butt). 

Finally - Get space and time all for yourselves. No noisy place, no phones ringing and no disturbing neighbours or family knocking the door. Bring up a lot of passion to raise up the expectations - Guys must raise their staff, and Woman must heat up their pots.  

So in the act - Good start Foreplay is a good one, a bit of talk to prelude the scene and handling things the right way - tender if she likes that, or a bit harder as she likes. Make sure to know how she likes - you will know from the sound of the engine which gear it is running.
And then the main act of the game to climax - A lot of effort and action. Enjoy the game and play mutually. U must pleasure her and she does it for u. Hear her say it or moan or whatever (woman in her elements would be noisy) to know her pleasure and that’s ur job as the Man. The dance of love is finally this, to build up the heights of passion and both reach the peak. 

Orgasm! U must reach her there dude, u’ll see it on her face and yes the shudders below    U got to feel it to feel high. Not enough that U did Ur part and spouted Ur seed (use protection totally, prevent spawning more n more progeny)
And after dont just fall off to sleep or run off slambam thank U ma’am. Linger and savour the intimacy. Talk to her, get the feel good, lift her spirits and beauty, cuddle, care, smiles and laughs. You got her.

For Gals, while I wrote with my perspective of Man, the same applies. Like my girl who cares, happy and she says it   !
Its the Most full-filling thing (U fill her full of U) for her and U, and hearing it is ego-boost also pumps up the libido - gets me randy again) and really enjoys the company.

Encores please - Good guys dont finish with one, so I go on and on and never heard my Woman say No! We guys can run out of seed but never out of steam, and the horny babe keeps on loving it.

[mnaughty1]

Hi All,
          The biggest reason why we cheat on our partner or even visit sites like this is bcoz there is still something missing in our sex life. I guess it would be nice to express your dreams about an ideal partner on an anonymous site like this, and hopefully gain some insight into what others(both male and female) think on the subject. Before you reply, please close your eyes and think about your ideal sex partner for a moment. Then start typing. If we get to know each other's perspectives and desires, may be we can bridge the gap between what we are and what we can become, in the bedroom, for our sake and our partner's sake. Please only express your true desires.
 I'll start by mentioning some of mine. I'll keep adding to it as and when i remember.
First and foremost, he should be clean and hygienic. Body odor, especially bad breath and unclean genitals is a mood killer.
He should be tall and physically fit with lots of stamina.
Should be ready to mix things up and experiment, with my consent.
He should love foreplay.
Calling bad words or slapping during sex is understandable but shouldn't do it outside, especially in front of friends.
Lastly, he should be confident and strong both mentally and physically, someone who owns me in every possible way.

This is soo close to my heart... we al want to have a one partner relationship... it takes a lot of articulation to meet someone that you connect mentally first and then physically it will be bliss.. I have personally experienced this and i would surely recommend living your life to the best of your ability.. even if it means getting the love and affection out of wedlock.

i would do it again and again.. especially we are all bound by society.. norms and families that get wound up .

please be extra careful.. and discreet.. THIS IS A MUST.

having a partner that understands and respects is very important. we should also realize safety is more important than frequency.. but whenever it is possible have a blast.. :

[niharikap]

Thanks to both Niharika and Rupesh for their insight. I never thot men face the same problems as women. Regarding living life in the moment, I guess you are referring to extra-marital affair, Rupesh. It is understandable in your situation but trust me, it can also bring you life long pain, if caught. I have experienced it. I also have a friend who is cheating on her hubby with her sister's husband. Imagine what will happen if either of them finds out. What ever pleasure she is having now will be nothing in front of that pain. Even if you decide to cheat, my advice would be to do it with an escort. That way there won't be any urge to call the same person again and again. For women, its a lot trickier. I once paid a male escort 25000 thinking that he will be professional and discreet. But he started calling me regularly asking for more money. When guys offer sex for free, you know it is dangerous. But when a guy asks such a huge amount for one night, you trust him thinking that he will treat it as a job. But the way he treated me was like I am the escort. I had to change my address and phone number to get rid of him. What is ironic is that if he had behaved professionally, I would have recommended him to my friends. He could have made a truck load of money if he was not such a douche. Anyway that was the last time I trusted a guy I met online. Safety and privacy are always more important than pleasure for women. Men have no idea how lucky they are...

Hi Bhavana,
                  I need your suggestion. I was recently chatting with a guy who offered me oral pleasure for 10000 rupees. Now, like you said, I also am afraid of guys who offer for free. But this guy said that he won't do penetration even if I paid 50000 rupees since he has a girlfriend and he won't cheat on her. I felt that I too could enjoy a little without cheating on my hubby. But after reading your post, I am really confused and worried. Is it a safe thing to try, or should I forget it. Please help...

[mnaughty1]

Hi Bhavana,
                  I need your suggestion. I was recently chatting with a guy who offered me oral pleasure for 10000 rupees. Now, like you said, I also am afraid of guys who offer for free. But this guy said that he won't do penetration even if I paid 50000 rupees since he has a girlfriend and he won't cheat on her. I felt that I too could enjoy a little without cheating on my hubby. But after reading your post, I am really confused and worried. Is it a safe thing to try, or should I forget it. Please help...

my suggestion to you is.. not go for those guys u can pay for.. you should find another married guy who is in this situation.. then it will be mutual and heart to heart..
u both will be immersed into it.. that is the best..

[Bhavana92]

Thanks to all for their replies. Regarding Niharika's question, if you were not married, I would have suggested you to go ahead with some precautions. But in your case it sounds too risky. I can only partially agree with mnaughty1's suggestion to go for married men because of the reasons I already mentioned. If it is a married man, it should be someone whose wife knows you. Then he won't have the tendency to take your pics and share them on internet. Since you don't want full intercourse my suggestion would be to try it with a woman. I know it may sound crazy initially. but according to scientists, all women are lesbians. some never explore that side. it is twice the pleasure for half the risk. Even if your hubby finds out, you can calm him by sharing her with him. It works with all kinds of men. Just mention it to the girl beforehand. that's all. Who knows you may end up waking your hubby's hidden virility. If you want a male escort, only go for guys that are recommended by someone you trust. If you ever travel to North America or Europe, do let me know. I can get you professional guys who won't cross their limits. Even in India it is safe to go with foreigners. tell me your location. i will see if I can do anything.

[rupeshrajani10]

Hi Niharika, These are all bullshit convincing stories. He wants to convince that he is good fellow for not to get involved in such acts as if he is so saint. But reality is, no male will not leave such type of situation to indulge. Behind this he may have the plan  to escape and trowing the ball on your court, if any thing happens wrongly in future that with your force only he is having relationship. Be careful and not to entertain him. As Bhavana said, make do online friendship and not to bring any monetary benefit in such situations which leads to unknown problems, already Bhavana faced. Both should be involved in the same cause, not for monetary benefit, understand each other, and then proceed. And also he may have an intention to grab more money so that he is intentionally giving an hint for that he is showing bargaining attitude for squeezing huge amount for indulging in this  act, keeping your enthusiasm and intention. Follow with mutual understanding and heart to heart, but not monetary involvement.

[mnaughty1]

Thanks to all for their replies. Regarding Niharika's question, if you were not married, I would have suggested you to go ahead with some precautions. But in your case it sounds too risky. I can only partially agree with mnaughty1's suggestion to go for married men because of the reasons I already mentioned. If it is a married man, it should be someone whose wife knows you. Then he won't have the tendency to take your pics and share them on internet. Since you don't want full intercourse my suggestion would be to try it with a woman. I know it may sound crazy initially. but according to scientists, all women are lesbians. some never explore that side. it is twice the pleasure for half the risk. Even if your hubby finds out, you can calm him by sharing her with him. It works with all kinds of men. Just mention it to the girl beforehand. that's all. Who knows you may end up waking your hubby's hidden virility. If you want a male escort, only go for guys that are recommended by someone you trust. If you ever travel to North America or Europe, do let me know. I can get you professional guys who won't cross their limits. Even in India it is safe to go with foreigners. tell me your location. i will see if I can do anything.

how come nobody recommended exotic toys? I am not sure if that option exists in India? i hear from some threads that the you have higher intensity OOOs

[Foxykavita]

Hi All,
          The biggest reason why we cheat on our partner or even visit sites like this is bcoz there is still something missing in our sex life. I guess it would be nice to express your dreams about an ideal partner on an anonymous site like this, and hopefully gain some insight into what others(both male and female) think on the subject. Before you reply, please close your eyes and think about your ideal sex partner for a moment. Then start typing. If we get to know each other's perspectives and desires, may be we can bridge the gap between what we are and what we can become, in the bedroom, for our sake and our partner's sake. Please only express your true desires.
 I'll start by mentioning some of mine. I'll keep adding to it as and when i remember.
First and foremost, he should be clean and hygienic. Body odor, especially bad breath and unclean genitals is a mood killer.
He should be tall and physically fit with lots of stamina.
Should be ready to mix things up and experiment, with my consent.
He should love foreplay.
Calling bad words or slapping during sex is understandable but shouldn't do it outside, especially in front of friends.
Lastly, he should be confident and strong both mentally and physically, someone who owns me in every possible way.

This is spot on and I'd like to add a few things. It's entirely impossible to be 100% compatible so sometimes it's okay to perform certain sexual acts for the sake of just your partner's pleasure even if it doesn't give you much pleasure and this applies both ways. Also, shaved and clean genitals and good hygiene goes a long way. Always be honest to each other so you don't have to seek an online platform to speak your weird desires. Try to be as non-judgemental as possible.

[ABCDXYZ]

posts are too long and so boring. keep it short

[niharikap]

Thanks to all for their replies. Regarding Niharika's question, if you were not married, I would have suggested you to go ahead with some precautions. But in your case it sounds too risky. I can only partially agree with mnaughty1's suggestion to go for married men because of the reasons I already mentioned. If it is a married man, it should be someone whose wife knows you. Then he won't have the tendency to take your pics and share them on internet. Since you don't want full intercourse my suggestion would be to try it with a woman. I know it may sound crazy initially. but according to scientists, all women are lesbians. some never explore that side. it is twice the pleasure for half the risk. Even if your hubby finds out, you can calm him by sharing her with him. It works with all kinds of men. Just mention it to the girl beforehand. that's all. Who knows you may end up waking your hubby's hidden virility. If you want a male escort, only go for guys that are recommended by someone you trust. If you ever travel to North America or Europe, do let me know. I can get you professional guys who won't cross their limits. Even in India it is safe to go with foreigners. tell me your location. i will see if I can do anything.

Hi Bhavana,
                    I've send you my contact details. Can you call me. Its urgent and personal. Thanks

[Milflover69]

For me doing sex means satisfying your partner.....whenever i am with my girl i only think about how to satisfy her fully...n i also want the same from here....but she is not completely open with me in sex related matters...she is not much interested in giving bjs but i go down her completely which she enjoys...i also fantasize her as my only idol partner and want to enjoy my sex life with her...we have discussed on this topic n she said that she need some more time n i hope someday she will be bold n sexy in bed with me....i don't want to force my fantasies on her...i want her participation

[Bhavana92]

Hi Bhavana,
                    I've send you my contact details. Can you call me. Its urgent and personal. Thanks

I am unable to reach you. Check your sms.

[Bhavana92]

For me doing sex means satisfying your partner.....whenever i am with my girl i only think about how to satisfy her fully...n i also want the same from here....but she is not completely open with me in sex related matters...she is not much interested in giving bjs but i go down her completely which she enjoys...i also fantasize her as my only idol partner and want to enjoy my sex life with her...we have discussed on this topic n she said that she need some more time n i hope someday she will be bold n sexy in bed with me....i don't want to force my fantasies on her...i want her participation

I feel sorry for you. This is why there is so much dissatisfaction all around. Right guy gets the wrong girl and vise versa. You are right about giving her the time she needs.  you also need to make her understand how her response is affecting you. at least there is open communication between you two. that solves half the problems. good luck.

[Milflover69]

I feel sorry for you. This is why there is so much dissatisfaction all around. Right guy gets the wrong girl and vise versa. You are right about giving her the time she needs.  you also need to make her understand how her response is affecting you. at least there is open communication between you two. that solves half the problems. good luck.

It's not that ki i m not satisfied...we are happy together...she tries to give her best when we are together...but i can't force my fantasis on her.... It's her choice what to do and not do but n yes we are talking on this topic n hope some day we will do what i want from her

[RocketRaj]

This is spot on and I'd like to add a few things. It's entirely impossible to be 100% compatible so sometimes it's okay to perform certain sexual acts for the sake of just your partner's pleasure even if it doesn't give you much pleasure and this applies both ways. Also, shaved and clean genitals and good hygiene goes a long way. Always be honest to each other so you don't have to seek an online platform to speak your weird desires. Try to be as non-judgemental as possible.

Well said Kvi


Match of Man woman - cant be each and every thing matching. likes and preferences vary. 
A good Guy does serve her desires and gets her wishes from her eyes..... even if she doesn’t express it (openly) - and know when and where she likes it and stop/ change it she you can sense she doesn’t like (a flinch or a bad shudder you can sense) - and dont get carried away in force. Some like you to be rough, some want you tender - and some have some fears on the way and where you touch - so it takes time. Do all she wants and you do to make her happy.
And I like my Woman feel free and uninhibited - do what she can to give me joy.

Good thing U said - clean and hygiene is important. I have said it before. Always clean up before and after....  It’s a beautiful pleasure and must be enjoyed without any hinderance.