Adultery Beta Dekhta Raha, Chup

[xxxhjbxxx]

Note: cuckson story; please don't continue if you are not interested in cuck fantasy

Chapter 1

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Mere haath mein jo paper tha, woh bas ek kagaz nahi tha.

Woh meri aukaat ka saboot tha.

12th class ka mid-sem test. 80 mein se 12 marks.

Itna kam ki number dekh kar pehle gussa aata hai, phir sharam, aur phir ek aisi khaamoshi jo seedha seene ke andar baith jaati hai. Main class ke corner mein khada tha, paper ko aise pakde hue jaise usse chhod diya toh meri saari kamzori zameen par gir padegi.

Ink ka woh laal rang, teacher ki rough handwriting, aur upar likha mera naam — Idris Syed — sab kuch ek hi pal mein ajeeb sa lag raha tha. Jaise kisi aur ki zindagi ka hisaab mere haath mein aa gaya ho.

Meri class mein log marks dekhte hi apni fits aur smiles chhupa rahe the. Kuch bachche hans bhi diye. Kaafi dheere, bas itna ki teacher sun na le. Lekin main sun gaya.

Main hamesha sun leta hoon.

Sports mein bhi main bekaar. Running mein last, cricket mein jab meri baari aati toh log dhyaan kisi aur taraf kar lete, aur kabaddi mein toh mujhe khud samajh nahi aata tha ki main kis ke saath khada hoon aur kis ke khilaaf. Padhai mein bhi wahi haal. Na tez dimag, na yaad rakhne ki taqat, na woh confidence jo dusron ki aankhon mein hota hai.

Aur sabse buri baat? Class mein mera koi aisa dost bhi nahi tha jiske saath main bina soche baat kar sakun.

Log hote hain, par saath nahi hote.

Main un sab ke beech bhi akela tha.

Teacher ne paper wapas diya aur mujhe dekhkar bas itna bola, “Idris, tumhein seriously lagna chahiye. Abhi bhi time hai.”

Time.

Mujhe us waqt us lafz se nafrat hui. Jaise sab ke paas time tha, sirf mere paas nahi.

college ki chhutti hui toh main seedha ghar nahi gaya. Main thoda der tak campus ke piche wale khali ground ke paas baitha raha. Wahan mitti sookhi thi, hawa mein dhool thi, aur saamne se ek football udta hua gaya, jaise woh bhi mujhse zyada kaam ka ho.

Main paper ko ghurta raha.

12 marks.

Meri ungliyan uske kinare ko itna daba rahi thi ki kagaz murjha sa gaya. Mujhe lag raha tha agar main ghar gaya, toh yeh paper sirf ek paper nahi rahega. Woh ek dhamaka ban jayega. Ek aisa dhamaka jisme mere saare din, meri saari galtiyan, meri saari nakamiyaan sab ek saath phat jayengi.

Abbu ko dekhte hi mujhe pehle se hi saans tight ho jaati thi. Ghar mein unka tana marna normal tha. Jaise unka gussa bhi routine ka hissa ho. Kabhi meri maa ki taraf, kabhi meri taraf, kabhi bas hawa mein. Lekin nishana aksar mujhe hi milta tha.

“Tumse kuch nahi hoga.”

“Uske marks dekho.”

“Dusron ke bachche kahan pahunch gaye aur yeh abhi tak wahin ka wahin hai.”

Ammi... ammi kabhi kabhi beech mein aa jaati thi. Woh bachane ki koshish karti thi, samjhaane ki koshish karti thi, par bechari kar bhi kya sakti thi? Unki awaaz mein woh narmi thi jo gusse ke saamne kamzor pad jaati hai. Woh mujhe dekh kar bas aankhon se bol deti thi: chup rehna, sab theek ho jayega.

Lekin kuch cheezein chup rehne se theek nahi hoti.

Main ghar ki taraf chal pada. Har kadam ke saath paper meri jeb mein aur bhaari hota gaya. Gali ke mod par pahunch kar mujhe hamare ghar ki chhoti si deewar dikhi. Wahi deewar jahan baarish ke daag the, aur wahi khidki jahan ammi aksar khadi hoti thi, jaise kisi aane wale tufaan ka intezaar kar rahi ho.

Main gate ke paas ruk gaya.

Andar se abbu ki awaaz aa rahi thi.

Nahi, cheekh nahi. Cheekh se bhi zyada khatarnaak ek thandi awaaz.

“Woh aaya?”

Ammi ki halki si awaaz: “Abhi aane wala hoga...”

Mere haath ka paper aur bheeg gaya. Pasina ya darr, mujhe samajh nahi aaya.

Maine ek gehri saans li.

Us ek saans mein saari class, saare marks, saare hansne wale chehre, aur ghar ke andar ka woh pura mahoul jama tha. Jaise meri zindagi kisi aur ke likhe hue page par chal rahi ho, aur main bas usse palatne ki koshish kar raha hoon.

Maine gate khola.

Aur us pal mujhe laga, aaj ghar ke andar jo hoga, woh sirf marks ka masla nahi hoga.

Woh meri zindagi ka pehla sach hone wala tha.

Darwaza khulte hi hall ki khamoshi kisi bojh ki tarah mere kandhon par gir padi.

Abbu sofa par baithe the. Unke haath mein TV ka remote tha, par TV band tha.

Ammi kitchen ke darwaze par khadi thi, dupatte ka kona apni ungliyon mein lapette hue. Unki aankhon mein wahi darr tha jo mere dil mein dhadak raha tha.

"Aa gaye nawabzaade?" Abbu ki awaaz mein ek ajeeb sa thandapan tha.

Maine sar jhuka liya aur dhire se 'haan' mein gardan hilayi.

"Paper mila aaj?"

Mera gala sukh gaya tha. Maine jeb mein haath daala. Kagaz ka woh tukda pasine se sil chuka tha. Kaapte haathon se maine woh paper aage kar diya.

Abbu ne remote side mein rakha aur paper liya. Kamre mein itni shanti thi ki main unki saans lene ki awaaz sun sakta tha. Unhone paper ko seedha kiya. Unki nigaah '12/80' par aakar ruk gayi.

Ek second. Do second. Teen.

Mujhe laga jaise waqt ruk gaya hai.

Phusphusate hue awaaz aayi, "Barah number..."

Phir achanak unhone woh paper zameen par phenk diya. "Barah number! Yeh hai tumhari aukaat? Maine apni poori zindagi ghis di tumhari padhai ke liye, aur tum wapas lakar dete ho yeh kachra!"

Unki awaaz ab dheemi nahi thi. Kamre ki deewarein kaampne lagi thi.

"Arey koi dekhe iski shakal! Din bhar nikammon ki tarah ghumega, na khel mein aage, na padhai mein, bas mere khoon pasine ki kamai aag mein daal raha hai!"

Ammi aage aayi, "Aji chhod dijiye, bachcha hi toh hai... agli baar mehnat karega..."

"Chup raho tum!" Abbu dahade. "Tumhare is dulaar ne hi isko barbaad kiya hai! Koi aur hota toh doob ke marr jata is marks par!"

Mujhe pata nahi us waqt mujhme kya aaya. Shayad woh daba hua gussa tha, ya sharam ki aakhri hadd. Maine apni jhuki hui gardan uthayi aur unki aankhon mein dekh liya.

Yeh meri sabse badi galti thi.

"Aankh dikhata hai mujhe?!"

Unka gussa ek jhatke mein qabu se bahar ho gaya. Woh apni jagah se uthe aur isse pehle ki main wahan se hat pata, ek zordaar aawaaz poore hall mein gunj uthi.

Chataak!

Mere gaal par ek tez jalan hui. Mera sarr jhanna gaya aur main ladkhada kar do kadam piche hat gaya. Kaan mein ek ajeeb si seeti bajne lagi thi.

Ammi ke cheekhne ki awaaz aayi, par woh doobti hui lag rahi thi.

Us ek thappad ne sirf mere gaal par nishaan nahi chhoda tha. Usne mere andar bachi hui aakhri umeed ko bhi tod diya tha.

[dk1235]

waiting

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter 2

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Kamre ka darwaza andar se lock tha. Bahar se sirf bartano ke takrane ki awaaz aa rahi thi, ek aisi normal awaaz jo ab sabse ajeeb lag rahi thi. Jaise bahar sab kuch wapas theek ho gaya ho, lekin mere andar ek tufaan shuru ho raha tha.

Bistar par baith kar main seedha saamne deewar ko ghure jaa raha tha.

Mere haath mein ek chhota sa rumal tha. Halka neela, jiske kinare par ammi ne phool kaadh rakha tha. Jab main bhag kar kamre mein aa raha tha, tab unhone rote hue yeh mere haath mein thama diya tha. Us rumal mein baraf lipटी hui thi, par gaal par rakhte hi woh baraf bhi garam lagne lagi thi.

Maine dheere se jhilmilate hue rumal ko apne us gaal par phera jahan abbu ki ungliyon ke nishaan abhi bhi lal chamak rahe the.

Jaise hi thanda kapda skin par laga, ek tees si uthi. Ek aisi aithan jo skin se shuru hokar seedha dimaag ko hila deti hai. Lekin is baar is dard ne mujhe rone nahi diya.

Pehle hamesha aankhon mein aansu aa jate the. Ek darr haawi ho jata tha ki main sach mein kisi layak nahi hoon. Par aaj, is band kamre ki andheri chuppi mein us darr ki jagah kisi aur cheez ne le li thi.

Gussa.

Ek jalte hue koyle jaisa gussa jo saari beizzati ki raakh ke neeche se dhadhakne laga tha.

Jab maine unki aankhon mein dekha tha, toh woh meri badtameezi nahi thi. Woh meri aakhri, tut ti hui koshish thi apni izzat bachane ki. Aur mujhe uski yeh saza mili?

Rumal ko maine itni zor se mutthi mein dabaya ki andar pighalti baraf ka paani meri ungliyon se nikal kar zameen par girne laga.

'Aankh dikhata hai mujhe?'

Abbu ki garajte hue awaaz mere kaanon mein dubara gunji.

Ab tak main sirf isliye haarta raha kyunki mujhe kisi ne jitna sikhaya hi nahi tha. Sab ne bas pehle se hi tay kar liya tha ki 'is se kuch nahi hoga'. Par aaj, us 12 marks ke paper se lekar is thappad tak, mere andar ka woh dara hua ladka jaise hamesha ke liye marr chuka tha.

Gaal ki jalan waise hi thi, par ab usne ek aag ka roop le liya tha.

Mujhe ab jawab dena tha. Bol kar nahi, kyunki meri awaaz ki is ghar mein koi keemat hi nahi thi.

Mujhe kuch aisa karna tha ki agli baar unka haath uthne se pehle rukh jaye.

Mujhe apni aukaat badalni thi.

Us andhere mein aankhein band karte hi mujhe ek dusri duniya dikhne lagi. Ek aisi duniya jahan mere haath mein 12 marks ka paper nahi, balki ek thos kamyabi thi. Khayalon mein main ek stage par khada tha, aur samne baithe log mere liye taaliyan baja rahe the. Abbu pehli baar muskura rahe the, aur ammi garv se sabko bata rahi thi ki 'yeh mera beta hai'. Ek ajeeb si sukoon dene wali shanti thi us jhoothe khwaab mein, jaise wahi meri asli jagah ho.

Takk.

Darwaze ki dhimi si awaaz ne mujhe us khwaab se kheench kar wapas is thandi haqeeqat mein patak diya.

Darwaza thoda sa khula aur ammi dhire se andar aayi. Unke haath mein steel ki thali thi jisme roti aur thodi si sabzi rakhi thi. Unhone meri taraf bina dekhe, bilkul dabe paon aakar thali table par rakh di. Unki aankhon mein darr abhi bhi tair raha tha — ek khauf ki kahin bahar se abbu unhein dekh na lein chup chap apne bete ko khana dete hue. Unhone mere sarr par dhire se haath rakha, aur bina ek shabd kahe wapas bahar chali gayi. Darwaza wapas waise hi halka sa bhed diya.

Us thande khane ko dekh kar bhookh toh nahi lagi, par us aag mein aur ghee dal gaya jo mere andar pehle hi jall rahi thi.

Agle din college ka rassta aur roz se lamba lag raha tha. Suraj ki tezz roshni se sar dard ho raha tha aur aas pados ke doston ki hasee mujh par ek bojh ban rahi thi.

Class mein aakar main apne corner wali seat par baith gaya, yeh soch kar ki aaj ka din main chup chap guzar dunga. Par kismat ko aaj kuch aur hi manzoor tha.

Pehla period khatam hi hua tha ki college ka peon darwaze par aaya. Usne meri taraf ungli uthai aur rasari aawaz mein bola, "Idris Syed, headmaster sir ne office mein bulaya hai."

Mera dil zorr se dhadakne laga. Ek aur fatkaar? Ek aur bezatti? Ab ki baar kiske saamne? Pair bhari ho gaye the, aur pet mein ajeeb si aithan ho rahi thi. Sabse bada darr yeh tha ki kahin woh abbu ko college na bula lein.

Main sir jhukaye hue headmaster ke office mein dakhil hua.

"Aao Idris, baitho," Headmaster sir ne ek normal, thehri hui awaaz mein kaha. Unhone abbu ki tarah chillaya nahi. Unki aawaz shaant thi.

Main kursi ke aage waale kinare par tik kar baith gaya, meri nazrein abhi bhi zameen par thi.

"Tumhare marks dekhe maine. Sirf is test mein nahi, lagatar pichle kuch mahino se numbers gir rahe hain," unhone ek file band karte hue kaha. Mujhe laga ab suspension ki baat aayegi. Lekin unhone aage kaha, "Lekin mujhe lagta hai tumhein padhai mein thodi madad ki zaroorat hai. Agar khud samajh nahi aa raha, toh kisi ka sahara toh lena padega na?"

Main unki taraf thoda hairani se dekhne laga. Madad? Is waqt tak mujhe is college mein daant ke ilawa kabhi madad to nahi mili thi.

Tabhi kisi ke office mein aane ki awaaz aayi.

Maine palat kar dekha to peechhe 'Akash' khada tha. Akash... dusre section ka wo ladka jiska naam assembly mein har doosre din sunayi deta tha. Har subject ka topper, saare teachers ka favourite, aur khud mein poora confident.

"Aa jao Akash," Headmaster sir ne muskurate hue kaha. "Idris, yeh Akash hai. Section A ka pichle teen saal se topper. Maine socha hai ki Akash tumhari thodi padhai mein madad karega. Lunch breaks mein ya free periods mein."

Akash ne ek tichi nazar meri taraf dali. Us ek nigaah mein mujhe upar se neeche tak napne ka aehsaas hua. Jaise ki main padhai ke layak hi na hoon.

"Theek hai sir," Akash ne formality ke liye haan mein sarr hilaya.

Par jab woh palat kar darwaze ki taraf mud raha tha, uske hontho se kaafi dhimi par bilkul saaf awaaz nikli, "Kahan phas gaye yaar..."

Mera bacha kucha confidence bhi wahin dher ho gaya. Jaise kisi ne dubara mere upar thanda pani daal diya ho. Par meri aadat purani thi — main tab bhi chup raha. Ek baar phir bezatti mili thi, kahin doosron par bojh banne ka ehsaas mila tha. Lekin is baar, ye maayusi aur zillat dheere dheere ek ziddi gusse mein badalne ki tayyari kar rahi thi.

Headmaster ke office se nikalne ke baad Akash apni aadat ke mutabiq aage aage tez chalne laga aur main uske piche thoda fasla banakar.
 
Corridor mein ekdam sannata tha. Hamari chappalon ki pat-pat aur door kisi class se aati teacher ki dhundhli si aawaz ke ilawa kuch nahi sunayi de raha tha. Us poori khamoshi mein ek ajeeb sa tanaav tha, kam se kam meri taraf se.
 
Tabhi achanak saamne se ek aur ladka aata dikhayi diya. Usko dekhte hi Akash ke jaise chehre par raunak hi aa gayi. Woh ruka aur khushi se us ladke ki taraf haath badhaya. "Arre bhai! Kya haal hain?"
 
Uske baad wahan jaise mera wajood hi khatam ho gaya. Akash us ladke se baatein karne laga. Games ki baatein, kisi aane wale test ki baatein, kisi movie ki baatein. Woh dono aapas mein khokar hasne lage, aur meri taraf ek baar mud kar bhi nahi dekha.
 
Paanch minute beet gaye.
 
Main chupchap unke bagal mein khada unki woh saari bakwas sunta raha. Ek ajeeb si chidchidaahat aur apmaan mere sir ke upar madra raha tha, bilkul waise hi jaise abbu ke taano ke waqt hota tha. Woh dono apni duniya mein the, aur main sirf ek fizool sa shadow jo wahan galti se aa gaya tha.
 
Aakhir mujhse raha nahi gaya. Maine bohot dhimi, darti hui aawaz mein usko tokne ki koshish ki, "Akash... woh... padhai?"
 
Meri aawaz sunte hi Akash chidh gaya. Usne baat roki aur meri taraf ghuma. Uske maathe par silwatein thi, jaise maine kisi mahaan charcha mein khalal daal diya ho. "Tum aisa karo," usne jhallate hue kaha, "Tum jaake library mein baitho. Main aata hoon thodi der mein."
 
Bina meri taraf wapas dekhe, woh phir se apni us bakwas baat mein doob gaya.
 
Mujhe apne andar ek pal ke liye rone ka mann kiya, par woh abhi kal hi toh khatam hua tha. Main chup chap peeth ghumakar us sannate wale corridor par akele chal pada.
 
Library poori tarah khaali aur neend mein dhoobi hui si lag rahi thi. Main ek corner wali table par baith gaya. Wahan anxiety ek bhoot ki tarah chipak gayi thi mujhse. Ghadi ki aawaz 'tik-tik' bahut zor se aa rahi thi. Har guzarne wala minute mujhe dobara ehsas dila raha tha ki kisi ko mera zikra yaad nahi hai, aur na meri fikra.
 
Poore chalis minute beet gaye. 
 
Tab jake darwaza dhakel kar Akash andar aaya. Uska face abhi bhi waise hi annoyed lag raha tha. Uske haath mein ek moti si spiral bound notebook thi jispar pehle se hi kaafi daag gande the.
 
Usne aakar bina kuch samjhaye wo notebook zorr se table par, mere saamne patak di.
 
"Ise rat lo," Akash ne badi berukhi se meri taraf bina dekhe hi kaha. "Bas ye saare notes yad kar lena, paas kar jaoge."
 
Isse pehle ki main usse kuch pooch pata ya isse khol ke dekh pata, wo palta aur apne jooton ki aawaz karta hua library se baahar bhaag gaya. Main bas wahan baitha us handwritten note book ko aur us band hote huye darwaze ko dekhta hi reh gaya.

Kuch der jab us library ka chuppi bhara sannata aur heavy hone laga, tab main us notebook ko haath mein uthaye baahar nikal aaya.

Corridor se aage badhte hue jab meri nazar peeche wale khule ground par padi, toh mere kadam wahi ruk gaye. Akash. Woh apne dosto ke beech tha. Uske haath mein ek chamakti hui nayi football thi, aur woh bhaagta hua zor se has raha tha. Uski aawaz, uski hasee aur uske dosto ki taaliyan ground se goonj aakar mere kaano ko chubhne lagi. Usne sirf isliye jaldi ki thi kyunki use in logo ke jhund mein jana tha. Aur mere jaisa ladka uske mastiyon mein sirf ek rukaawat tha.

Mujhe lagta tha abbu ka tana sunkar sabse zyada takleef hoti hai. Lekin is naye ladke ko ground par udte aur mujhe is buri tarah se ignore karke khelte dekh, mere andar se pehli baar ek ghin aur zehreeli nafrat futne lagi.

Ek pal ke liye mera haath utha ki is spiral notebook ko wahin zameen par patak dun. Par maine wahi kiya jo main hamesha khauf mein karta aa raha tha. 

Maine apni saari narazgi aur beizzati ko nigal liya. Thook ke saath wo gussa gale ke neeche utaar liya. 

Us gandi notebook ko apne seene se lagaya, aur bina dubara mudkar us ground ki taraf dekhe, chup chap apni class ki taraf chala gaya.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter 3

college se wapas ghar aana kisi murde ke qabar mein utarne jaisa tha. Kal raat ke us zordaar thappad ki goonj jaise ab tak ghar ki deewaro mein ruki hui thi.

Abbu dining table par baithe akhbaar padh rahe the. Main dabe paon unke paas se guzra, par unhone aankh uthakar dekha tak nahi. Unki wo chuppi kisi gaali aur maar se zyada chubhne wali thi. Pehle wo mujh par theek se chillate the, toh kam se kam lagta tha ki mera koi wajood hai. Aaj unhone mujhe aise ignore kiya jaise main zinda hi nahi hoon. Inkar ka ye thanda tareeka kaafi zyada takleef deh tha.

Ammi rasoi mein thi. Unka chehra utra hua aur aankhein laal thi, bilkul ruansi. Unhone meri aahat sunkar bhi meri taraf dekha tak nahi, bas apne aanchal se apna munh ponchti rahi. Pura ghar ek khaamosh matam mein dhooba hua tha. Pura mahaul itna hopeless lag raha tha ki hawa bhi bhari aur ghutan bhari lag rahi thi.

Bina kisi se kuch kahe, main chupchap apne kamre mein aakar andar se kundi laga li. Bakki ka bacha hua tanaav bhara din aur puri akeli raat maine us band kamre mein, apne us bistar par ghutno mein sarr diye hue guzari.

Par agle din college mein kuch ajeeb sah hua.

Lunch break ke waqt jab main apni seat par udaas baitha bas ground ki taraf dekh raha tha, tabhi achanak Akash chala aaya aur mere paas wali desk par thoda jhallate huye baith gaya. Usne apni wo daag wali spiral notebook aur ek pen bahar nikala.

"Chalo, kholo apni maths ki book," usne bina meri taraf dekhe, ek raste wali aawaz mein kaha. Uski aawaz mein kal wala wahi bhaari chidchidaapan tha, par aaj wo udta hua aage nahi bhaag raha tha. Shayad headmaster sir ne us par nigrani rakhi thi ya strictly kaha tha.

Usne kitab kholi aur madad karni shuru ki. Woh as a friend nahi baitha tha, balki uska har lafz ehsaan jata raha tha. Uski body language bata rahi thi ki wo na chah kar ek bewakoof ke aage apna qeemti waqt zaaya kar raha hai. "Yeh formula yahan aayega, itna simple hai, thoda dimag lagao na," wo baar baar muh banakar rukta.

Wo dil se nahi, poori majboori se meri madad kar raha tha. Par mere andar ek badi ajeeb si uljhan paida ho gai.

Mujhe phir bhi yeh sab theek lag raha tha. Balki, accha lag raha tha.

Zindagi mein pehli baar koi doosra meri table par ruka tha. Pehli baar kisi ne, chahe nakchade pan aur gusse mein hi sahi, mujhe seriously ek kitaab samjhane ki thodi koshish toh ki thi. Uska wo chidchidaapan meri class ke us akelepan aur baaki sabki namaujudgi se kaafi behtar thi. Kam se kam is waqt koi zinda shakhs toh mere paas baitha tha. Dheere dheere wo ehsaan wali daant ek choti si umeed ki kiran jaisi ban rahi thi.

Agli subah se ye humari nayi routine ban gayi. Aane wale kuch dino tak lunch break ki ghanti bajte hi Akash apna daba lekar seedha meri desk par aakar baith jata tha.

In kuch dino ki coaching mein, main mathematical sawalon se zyada Akash ko analyze karne laga. Mujhe dheere dheere yeh ehsas hone laga ki Akash siraf marks mein mujhse alag nahi tha. Uski poori banawat hi mujhse bilkul mukhtalif thi. Wo hairaankun hadd tak confident tha, class mein bolne mein smart tha, par sabse bada farq uski zidd aur persistence mein tha—wo bina thake lagatar laga rehta tha.

Main khud ko achi tarah janta tha. Kitaab kholne ke theek dus minute baad meri aankhein bhari hone lagti thi. Dimag so jata tha aur kitaab ka har saflaa mujhe sulaane lagta tha. Par Akash aisa bilkul nahi tha. Woh poore ektalis minute ki us lunch break mein bagair saans tode lagatar mujhe coach karta rehta tha.

Usme focus ki aisi aag thi jo maine kisi mein nahi dekhi thi. Wo apna tiffin tak meri kitab dekhte huye hi khaata tha, ek haath se jaldi jaldi parathe ka tukda todta aur mooh mein dalkar, bina rokay dusre haath se pen ko meri kapi pe tez tez chalata. Ek taraf wo khata rehta, aur dusri taraf mujhe lagatar equation samjhata rehta.

Use dekh kar main hairaan reh jata. Par jaise jaise main usay itne perfect tareeke se operate karte hue nazdeek se dekhne laga, toh wo pehle din wali acchi feeling kahin aur mudne lagi. Hum dono ek hi bench par baithe the, ek hi umar ke do students. Phir bhi wo kitna upar tha aur main kitna neeche.

Uska wo laser-sharp focus aur confident aadayein ab mujhe chubhne lagi thi. Uski isi perfection aur mehnati fitrat ko itne paas se dekhne ne meri insecurities ko buri tarah se ughad diya tha. Use dekhte hi mere andar mere apne nallepan aur nakamiyo ka darpan dikhta tha. Choti si wo umeed wali feeling ab ek nai aur ghutne wali jalan—jealousy—mein badalne lagi thi.

Isi ajeeb kashmakash, coaching aur baichaini ke beech ek hafta nikal gaya aur aakhiri exams shuru ho gaye.

Jab result wala din aaya toh class mein paper baant'te waqt mere haath maathe ke pasine se bheege huye the. Par iss baar jab paper ulta kar maine apna number dekha, toh mere hosh udd gaye. Laal syahi se wahan '51/80' likha tha. Bawan nahi, ghabrahat wala pachaas nahi, seedha ikyawan. Mujhe apni aankhon par yakeen nahi ho raha tha. Main baar baar us total ko jodh raha tha kahin teacher se counting mein galti toh nahi ho gai. Par galti nahi thi.

Mera sabse weak subject, jisme matha pakk jata tha aur hamesha fail hota tha, wo main sirf paas hi nahi, balki acche marks se paas kar gaya tha. Aur main ache se jaanta tha ki ye namumkin miracle kiski wajah se hua tha. Akash ki us lagatar aur sakht coaching ke bina yeh kisi qeemat par nahi ho sakta tha.

51 number ke us gore se circle ko dekh kar, saalon ke baad pehli baar mere andar ek saaf aur sacha confidence jaga tha. Ek nai himmat paida hui. Dil ke aakhiri kone se ek choti si aawaz aayi ki agar main isme is buri halat se uth kar paas ho sakta hoon, toh shayad main 12th ke boards bhi nikal lunga. Mera poora din us college mein ek alag hi, asmaan chhooti energy mein beeta.

Us din jab main apna wo paper lekar ghar pohocha, toh wahan ka mahaul kal tak ki thehri hui ghutan se bilkul opposite ho gaya.

Jaisi hi maine hall mein ghus kar ammi ke hath mein wo kagaz rakha, unhone paper dekha aur unki ro rahi palke phati ki phati reh gai. Wo chaunk kar pehle paper dekhti aur phir haireti se mujhe ghurne lagti. "Ikyawan...?" unki aawaz kaanp rahi thi, par is baar darr ki wajah se nahi.

Shor sun kar abbu kamre se bahar aaye. Unhone bhuwai sikudte hue aur shak ki nigah se chhin kar paper haath mein liya. Pata nahi un do second mein mere sir par kya beeti, dhadkan jaise gale mein aa gayi thi, par tabhi kuch aisa hua jiska mujhe dedh saal se zyada waqt se besabri se intezaar tha.

Dedh saal mein pehli dafa, abbu ne paper se nazar uthakar mere chehre ko dekha, ek lambi saans li, aur unke hotho par ek chhoti si sachi muskurahat aa gai. Pehli dafa meri aukaat sach mein badal gayi thi. Unhone koi lamba chouda taana nahi mara, koi shikayat nahi ki. Par unke us muskurate hue chehre ne pichle har aasu aur ghar ki us maayusi par jaise thande paani ka chheenta daal diya tha.

"Tu bata... yeh jaadu achanak hua kaise?" Ammi ne pyaar se mere maathe par haath rakhte hue chaunk kar poocha. "Achanak itna dimag kahan se chalne laga mere bete ka?"

Main pal bhar ruka. Mere dimaag mein Akash ki wo chidchidi aawaz aur library wali zehreeli beizzati chal rahi thi, aur apne andar panap rahi jealousy yaad aa gayi. Par phir bhi jhooth bola nahi gaya. "Raaz mera nahi hai, ammi," maine dhire se apni palke jhuka kar kaha. "Hamare section ka nahi... dusre section ke topper, Akash se padhta hoon lunch mein. Ussi ne paas karwaya hai."

Ammi ka chehra khushi aur shukar guzari se aur bhi khil utha. Unhone us 51 number wale paper ko halke se apni chhaati se lagaya aur phir bade pyaar se meri taraf dekha.

"Toh phir ek ehsaan faramosh insaan ki tarah mat ban," Ammi ne muskurate huye aur thode hukum wale andaz mein kaha. "Agar uski mehnat se mere bete ka itna bhala hua hai, toh humara bhi toh kuch farz banta hai bina oof kiye."

Main samajh nahi paya aur kashmakash mein unhe dekhta raha.

"Usko is Sunday dawat par ghar khaane par bula kar laa," Ammi ne zor dete hue aage kaha. "Us ladke ne ghar ke is mahaul mein wapas jaan daali hai, main use apne hathon se biryani banakar khilaungi. Zaroor bula kar lana apne is naye dost ko padhai ke zikr par."

Dost? Mera pet ekdam se aith gaya. Akash ko? Apne dabe hue nirdhan ghar mein? Us ladke ko jo library mein mujhe thode se waqt ke liye bhi theek se bardaasht nahi kar pata? Jiske attitude mein akad aur dosto ke beech main sirf ek wajood-heen keeda tha?

Lekin maine na chahate hue bhi dheere se haan mein sarr hila diya. Kyunki ammi ki aankhon ki us bholi khushi ko noch lene ki himmat mujhme abhi nahi thi. Par mere andar usi waqt ek naye, kaale darr ne jagah le li thi. Mujhe khauf hone laga ki jab woh uski 'perfect' zindagi wala Akash is chhote, toote huye makaan aur mere normal maahaul ko qareeb se dekhega, toh woh aage mujhe kitna aur zyada na-kabil aur gira hua judge karega.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter 4

Agle din college jaate huye mere kadam aam dino se thode bhaari the. Ammi ki khushi aur biryani ki dawat ka farmaan mere dimaag par kisi bojh ki tarah latak raha tha. Akash ko apne ghar bulana? Raaste bhar main yahi sochta raha ki main achanak us nakchade se aisi baat shuru kaise karunga.

Lunch break ki ghanti baji. Meri ummeed ke bilkul khilaaf, aaj meri desk par aane ki bajaye Akash thoda door khada apna half-open bag theek kar raha tha.

Maine ek lambi saans li, khud mein zordaar himmat jama ki, aur uske paas dhire dhire chala gaya. "Akash..."

Usne palat kar meri taraf dekha. Uske chehre par wahi hamesha wali akad aur rukhapan tha. "Kya hai? Note book wapas chahiye kya?"

"Nahi," maine thoda atakate hue kaha, apni nazrein farash par gadaye huye. "Ammi ne... ammi ne tumhein is Sunday ghar par dawat ke liye bulaya hai. Unhone kaha hai wo khaas biryani banayengi, tumhara shukriya ada karne ke liye."

Jab maine nazar utha kar uski oar dekhi, toh Akash mujhe upar se neeche tak badi nichi nigah se ghoor raha tha. Us lambi ghoor mein koi pyaar, haale-dili ya dosti nahi thi, balki ajeeb si ghin aur ek chhipi hui hansi thi. Jaise is dawat ke nyoote se bada joke aur koi usne suna hi na ho.

"Sunday ko?" usne ek ajeeb sa muh banate hue aur dhire se apna bag uthate hue kaha. "Sunday ko toh yaar mera club match hai doosre zone ke doston ke saath. Main theek khane ke waqt nahi aa paunga."

Usne mere kisi jawab ya reaction ka intezaar bhi nahi kiya aur mujhse nazrein churakar aage badh gaya. Usne jo bahana banaya tha wo kitna jhootha tha, yeh hum dono bina bole bhi bakhubi samajh rahe the. Par main bhi uske peeche nahi bhaga. Maine uspar thoda sa bhi dabav nahi daala, na hi use zidd karke manane ki koshish ki.

Sachayi toh ye thi ki deep down main khud ek thandi rahat mehsoos kar raha tha ki usne mana kar diya. Uski ghutne wali ghamandi maujudgi mere toote aur chhote se ghar mein waise bhi zehar hi gholti.

Us din chhutti hone se theek pehle, jab main apni history ki book back bag mein lapet raha tha, tabhi class ke darwaze par phir wahi peon aya.

"Idris Syed, principal office mein chalo jaldi."

Mera dil ek minute ke liye tez dhak dhak karne laga, par ek ajeeb baat thi—is baar mujhe kaanpane wala darr nahi laga. Pichli baar us haule darwaze ne mujhe meri nakam aukaat dikhayi thi, toh is baar ab kya hone wala tha?

Main office mein ghusa toh headmaster sir kursi par pichhe tik kar thehre huye baithe the. Unke saamne wahi marks report wali file khuli hui thi. Jaisi hi unhone aahat se mujhe dekha, unke chehre par ek aisi saaf smile aayi jo maine apne pure college life mein shayad pehli baar kisi ki aankhon mein dekhi ho.

"Aao Idris, aao, andar baitho," unhone haath se ishaara karte hue aur chashma utaarte hue bulaya. "Tumhara mid-term test ka wo maths paper dekha maine."

Main kursi ke ekdum kinare par simat kar baith gaya. "Jee, sir."

"Fifty-one out of eighty. Aur woh bhi pichli baar ke dus-barah marks se uthkar. Yeh choti baat nahi hai," unhone khushi aur sabaashi bhari nigah se dekhte hue tute lehje mein kaha. "Maine tab class teacher se bhi kaafi baatein ki thi, unhe lagta tha tum sirf piche wali seat par saal ginte ho. Par yeh ikyawan prove karta hai ki agar tum apna dimag theek shanti se lagao, toh failure tumhara aakhri theka nahi hai."

Unhone apni jeb se ek kalam nikali, use dono haathon ki ungliyon mein ghumate hue aage kaha, "Akash ke saath milkar padhne ka plan asar kar gaya. Main jaanta hoon woh ladka thoda tez hai aur impatient hai sikhaate waqt, shayad thoda rude bhi ho, lekin tumne give up nahi kiya is sabke beech, yeh tumhari badi baat hai. Keep it up, beta."

Beta. Us ek naram lafz aur us thehri hui shabashi ne mere murda se andar ek ajeeb sa taaza current dauda diya tha. Aaj ek wo bhari, thandi ghutan bhari subah kafi halki ho gai thi. Akash ki woh ghin bhari ghoor aur ammi ke naraz hone ke akele darr ke baad ek aisi tasalli bhari tareef mili thi jisne mujhe cheekh kar bataya ki, haan, meri zindagi bhi waqayi badal sakti hai.

Headmaster sir thoda aage jhuke, aur report file ko band karte hue bole, "Lekin ab mujhe lagta hai tum apna rasta khud bana sakte ho. Tumhein ab padhai mein Akash ki zarurat nahi hai. Uski madad ab band karte hain. Thik hai?"

"Jee, sir," maine rahat bhari saans lete hue kaha. Mere kandhon se jaise ek bojh sa utar gaya tha.

Wapas jab main apni class mein aaya toh mera confidence bahut achha tha. Meri chaal mein ab pehle wali dari hui maayusi nahi thi. Mera sarr aaj farash ki taraf nahi jhuka tha. Ek azadi ka aehsaas tha.

Par iske theek ek-do ghante baad, last period jaisi hi shuru hone wala tha, corridor me ek jana-pehchana saaya aakar class ke darwaze par ruka.

Maine palat kar dekha. Wahan Akash maatha sikudte hue khada tha. Usne meri taraf thodi ajeeb nigaah se dekh kar bahar aane ka ishaara kiya.

Main apni jagah se utha aur bahar gaya. Ab jab main uske muhtaaj nahi tha, toh mere mooh par nervousness nahi thi. Mujhe hairaani thi ki kal jo khud mujhe ignore kar gaya tha, aur subah invitation thukra diya tha, woh ab wapas kyun aaya hai.

"Suno," Akash ne idhar-udhar dekhte hue, thodi hichkichati hui aawaz mein kaha, "Wo... biryani wali jo baat tum keh rahe the na subah. Main free ho gaya hoon Sunday ko. Mera jo zone ka match tha, woh kisi aapas ke chakkar mein delay ho gaya hai. Toh haan, main aa jaunga tumhare ghar."

Main thoda chaunk gaya. Wo ready tha. Par is se pehle ki main 'haan' ya 'na' thik se soch paata, Akash ne jaldi se ek baat aur add kar di.

"Par ek baat hai. Main wahan akele nahi aa raha. Mera ek khaas dost bhi us dawat par mere saath aayega. Uske bina padhai ki us dawat ka koi point banta nahi hai na. Uska aana pakka hai na?"

Ek dost ke saath? Meri dhadkan ek pal ke liye ruki. Mujhe library aur us ground ki yaad aane lagi thi jahan dosto ke beech Akash kisi par bhi aur kitna zabaan gandi karke havi ho jata tha. Do log milkar kya is Sunday mera mere abbu ke aage mazaak udayenge?

Lekin ammi ki woh dawat wali khush aakhein dimaag mein ghoomne lagi. "Haan, theek hai. Main ghar par ammi ko bata dunga," maine baat kaatne ki himmat na juta pa kar sirf haan kar di.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 5



Sunday ki subah main apne kamre mein baitha mobile pe porn dekh raha tha.Mujhe khud pata tha ki main ek number ka chutiya insaan hoon. Koi dost nahi, koi asli zindagi nahi — isiliye shayad porn itna zyada dekhne laga tha.

Mere Techno mobile mein ek gandi blue film chal rahi thi. Main usmein bilkul khoya hua tha, haath apne lund pe upar-neeche kar raha tha. Mujhe kaale ladkon wala porn sabse zyada pasand tha, khaskar woh jismein gori ladkiyan unke mothe kaale lund se chudi jaati hain. Kaale lund ko gore chut mein ghuste dekhna mere liye kuch alag hi nasha tha.

Screen pe bhi wahi scene chal raha tha — ek ghode jaisa kaala aadmi ek komal gori ladki ko zor-zor se chod raha tha. Uske mota, kaala, nassila lund ladki ke chut mein gehraai tak utar raha tha. Main itna kho gaya tha ki darwaze ki call bell bajte hi jaise current lag gaya.

Main ghabra kar jhat se haath pant se nikaal liya aur jaldi se mobile lock kar diya. Abbu ke paas pahunchne se pehle hi main uth kar darwaza kholne daud pada.

Gate khola toh saamne Akash khada tha. Uske bagal mein ek aur ladka tha. Usse dekh kar mera dil zor se dhak se reh gaya. Fuck! Maine toh Ammi ko bataya hi nahi tha ki Akash apna dost bhi saath laane wala hai. Mere maathe pe paseene ki boondein aa gayi.

Phir bhi maine muskurane ki koshish ki aur bola,“Aao andar aao.”

Dono bina kuch bole mere saath andar aa gaye. Main unhe drawing room ke sofa pe bitha diya. Abbu Urdu newspaper padh rahe the, lekin mehman aate dekh unhone nazar uthayi aur ek baar dono ko achhe se dekh liya.

Hum teeno baithe hi the ki Ammi kamre mein aa gayi. Unke chehre pe halki muskaan thi. Dono ko dekh kar unhone pyaar se poocha,“Aa gaye tum log? Tum dono mein Akash kaun hai?”

Akash ne sar uthaya aur dheere se bola,“Aunty, main hoon Akash.”

Akash ko dekh kar Ammi ki aankhein chamak uthi.“Tumhare baare mein toh maine bahut kuch suna hai beta.”

Phir Ammi ne Akash ke saath wale ladke ki taraf dekha aur poocha,“Aur aap?”

Us ladke ne muskurate hue apne daant dikha diye. Daant ekdum peele aur gande the. Mujhe bilkul ajeeb laga. Usne bola,“Main Chand hoon, aunty.”

Ammi ko bhi shayad uska chehra aur muskaan kuch ajeeb lagi. Unki muskaan thodi si utar gayi. Unhone mujhe dekha aur kaha,“Idris, tum in dono ka khayal rakhna. Main abhi biryani laga deti hoon.”

Ammi jaate hue main unki peeth dekhta raha. Jaise hi woh kitchen ki taraf gayi, maine apni nazar wapas Akash aur Chand pe daali. Dono aapas mein khusur-phusur kar rahe the. Main chup-chaap kone mein baitha raha.

Tabhi achanak Chand dheere se bola — itna dheere ki sirf main aur Akash sun sake:“Yaar kya taanch maal hai… saali ka gaand dekh… behenchod, mil jaye toh khod ke chhod dun.”

Akash ne turant uski taraf dekha aur dheere se daanta,“Chutiya hai kya be? Saale, agar sun liya na toh tera gaand ka guldasta bana dega.”

Ye sunte hi mera saans ruk sa gaya. Main samajh nahi paa raha tha ki yeh dono kya baat kar rahe hain. Par dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha. Dono ki nazrein kitchen ki taraf lagi hui thi — jahan Ammi biryani bana rahi thi.

Thodi der baad Ammi kitchen se aayi. Unke haathon mein garam-garam biryani ki badi plate thi. Saath mein raita aur salad bhi. Unke chehre pe wohi pyari muskaan thi.

“Aao beta, kha lo. Bahut der se bhookhe hoge,” Ammi ne pyaar se kaha aur plate dining table pe rakh di.

Hum sab table pe baith gaye. Ammi ne khud bhi plate le li. Thodi der baad Abbu bhi newspaper chhod kar aa gaye aur humare saath baith gaye.

Shuruaat mein sab chup-chaap kha rahe the. Phir Akash ne baat shuru ki.“Aunty, biryani bahut zabardast bani hai. Idris se toh bahut tareef suni thi, lekin asli maza aaj pata chala.”

Ammi sharma gayi aur hans di.“Arre beta, itna bhi achha nahi hai. Ghar ka bana hai.”

Abbu ne bhi Akash se normal baatein ki — college, section, studies, cricket. Akash bilkul respectful aur controlled tha. Usne Ammi ya ghar ke baare mein ek bhi gandi baat nahi ki. Yeh dekh kar mujhe thoda surprise hua.

Lekin Chand bilkul alag tha.

Woh chup-chaap kha raha tha, lekin uski aankhein baar-baar Ammi pe tik jaati thi. Kabhi unke chehre pe, kabhi blouse ke upar, kabhi unki gol kamar aur hips pe. Muh mein biryani thi, phir bhi nazar Ammi se hat nahi rahi thi. Kabhi-kabhi woh apni jeebh se peele daant chaat leta.

Mujhe bahut uncomfortable lag raha tha. Dil mein gussa aur bechaini dono saath aa rahe the. Ek baar jab Ammi paani laane uthi, tab Chand ne Akash ke kaan mein dheere se kaha:“Yaar… teri aunty ka maal toh solid hai be. Upar se neeche tak tight lag rahi hai. Age kya hogi? 38-39?”

Akash ne usko aankhon se hi daant diya aur bola,“Chup kar saale. Baad mein baat karte hain.”

Main yeh sab sun kar spoon pakde hue baitha raha. Khana gale se neeche utar hi nahi raha tha.

Khane ke baad Ammi ne sabko ice-cream di. Chand ne ice-cream khaate hue bhi Ammi ke hips ki taraf dekhte hue apna lower lip kaat liya.

Akhir mein Akash utha aur bola,“Aunty, bahut maza aaya. Thank you so much. Ab hum chalte hain.”

Chand bhi utha aur muskurate hue bola,“Haan aunty, biryani zabardast thi. Agli baar phir aayenge.”

Ammi ne pyar se kaha,“Haan beta, kabhi bhi aa jana. Ghar samajh lo.”

Main un dono ko gate tak chhodne gaya. Jaate waqt Chand ne mujhe dekha aur ek dirty smile diya. Akash ne sirf haath hila kar bola,“Kal college mein milte hain.”

Jaise hi maine gate band kiya, main seedha apne kamre mein aa gaya. Darwaza lock kiya, bed pe let gaya aur mobile nikaal kar wapas wohi porn movie on kar di.

Lekin is baar maza nahi aa raha tha.Har scene mein kaala lund gore chut mein ghusta dekh kar bhi mere dimag mein sirf Chand ka woh comment ghum raha tha — “saali ka gaand… mil jaye toh khod ke chhod dun.”

Ammi ko ghurti hui uski nazrein… woh peele daant… lower lip kaatna… aur Akash ka chup rehna.

Mera lund khada tha, lekin haath hilane ka bilkul mann nahi ho raha tha. Dimag mein sirf ek hi sawal baar-baar aa raha tha — Chand Ammi ko kis nazar se dekh raha tha?

Main mobile band karke chhat pe let gaya. Aankhein band ki, lekin neend door-door tak nahi thi. Sirf woh ganda comment baar-baar mere kaanon mein goonj raha tha.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 6


Subah ka narm sunlight drawing room ke andar ghus raha tha. Main sofa par baitha tha, chup-chaap Ammi ko dekhe ja raha tha.

Woh kitchen se hall mein aayi thi. Usne apna purana light grey cotton salwar-kameez pehna hua tha — wohi jo kai saalon se woh ghar mein pehenti thi. Kameez ab thodi tight ho gayi thi, khaas kar upar se. Jab woh jhuk kar kuch uthati, toh uske bhaari, bhare hue choochiyon ka gol ubhaar saaf dikhai deta tha. Salwar uski moti, gol gaand aur chaudi kamar par kas kar baithi thi, har kadam ke saath kapde ke andar uski jism ki lahar saaf mehsoos hoti thi. Dupatta sirf ek kandhe par latka hua tha, jo har harkat ke saath dheere-dheere slip ho raha tha, uski gol, gore kandhon ko baar-baar zaahir kar deta tha.

Woh 43 saal ki thi, lekin uska jism ab bhi ek mature aurat ka poora khazana tha — na zyada patla, na zyada mota, bas bhara hua aur jawaan.

Main apni nazar hata hi nahi pa raha tha.

Pehle main sochta tha ki Ammi sirf Ammi hain — ghar sambhalne wali, pyaar karne wali maa. Lekin aaj pehli baar mujhe ehsaas ho raha tha ki unke andar woh aurat bhi hai jo bahar se dikhti nahi. Jab woh chalti thi toh unki gaand ka halka, madak hilna… jab woh khulti thi toh choochiyon ka ubhaar… sab kuch bahut zyada auratana aur seductive tha.

Dil ke ek andhere kone mein mujhe samajh aa gaya — woh chapri Chand ko Ammi mein yahi cheez dikhi hogi. Wohi jism ki woh garam, bhari-bhari appeal jo main ab dekh raha tha.

Mujhe khud par ghin aa rahi thi. Yeh meri Ammi thi… phir bhi main unhe is hawas bhari nazar se dekh raha tha.

Ammi ne palat kar dekha aur pyaar se muskurayi, “Kya hua beta? Subah-subah itna chup kyun ho?”

Main jhat se nazar jhuka li. “Kuch nahi Ammi…”

---

Agle din college mein sab kuch badal gaya.

Akash mujhse door rehne laga tha. Lunch break mein bhi woh apne naye council dostों ke saath baitha rehta. Meri taraf dekhta bhi nahi. Jaise uska kaam poora ho chuka ho.

Headmaster ne mujhe office bulaya.

“Idris, pehle Akash ki wajah se tumhare maths ke marks theek the. Ab main chahta hoon ki tum khud mehnat karo. Akash council duties mein bahut busy hai, usko baar-baar disturb mat karo.”

Main sirf chupchaap sar hila kar bahar aa gaya.

Agla ek mahina bahut mushkil tha.

Raat ko padhne baithta, lekin maths ki book khulte hi aankhein bhari jaati thi. Sirf 10-15 minute baith paata. Concepts samajh nahi aate the. Bore ho jaata tha. Dheere-dheere purane marks girne lage.

Aur phir monthly exam aa gaya.

Results mein main maths aur science dono mein fail ho gaya.

Ghar mein us din tufaan aa gaya.

Abbu ne result sheet dekh kar gussa se laal ho gaye. “Yeh kya bakwas hai? Akash itna padha kar bhi fail?! Poora mahina usne tujhe padhaya tha na?”

Ammi ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye. “Beta… Akash itna achha ladka hai. Usne itna time diya… phir yeh kya ho gaya?”

Maine dheere se bola, “Woh ab padhane nahi aa raha. Council ka kaam bahut hai.”

Dono shock ho gaye.

---

Agli subah Ammi college chali gayi.

Dopahar ko jab woh wapas aayi, toh unka chehra thoda khila hua tha.

“Main Headmaster sir se mili thi. Unhone Akash ko bulwaya. Main ne usse haath jod kar request ki… college mein time nahi milta toh ghar pe aa jao. Main khud usko garam-garam khana khilaungi, chai banaungi.”

Ammi muskurate hue boli, “Usne haan kar diya hai beta. Hafte mein teen din ghar pe aayega. Ab tu bilkul tension mat le.”

Main kuch nahi bol paaya. Sirf sar hila diya aur apne room mein chala gaya.

Darwaza andar se band kiya, bed par let gaya aur aankhein band kar li.

Dimag mein sirf ek hi baat ghoom rahi thi —

Ammi khud jaakar Akash ko mere ghar pe bulwa laayi thi.

Ab woh yahin aane wala tha… mere ghar… har hafte teen din.

Neend mujhse koson door thi.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 7


Shaam ke 5 baje se hi mera mann kuch alag tha. college se aate hi maine bag side mein phenka aur drawing room ke sofa par baith gaya. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi. Aaj Akash pehli baar officially ghar pe padhane aa raha tha. Ammi subah se hi excited thi. Ghar ko jhadu-pochha kiya tha, drawing room ke curtains bhi badal diye the.

Main chupchaap baitha tha jab Ammi kitchen se aayi. Unhone aaj peach colour ka simple cotton salwar-kameez pehna hua tha. Woh apne normal style mein thi.

“Beta, Akash ko kuch khilaane ke liye main aloo ke pakode bana rahi hoon. Chai bhi ready hai,” unhone muskurate hue kaha.

Main sirf sar hila diya. Ammi ko dekh kar mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki woh itni khush kyun hain. Jaise koi mehman nahi, beta aa raha ho.

5:35 baje darwaze ki bell baji. Main utha aur dheere se gate khola. Saamne Akash khada tha — safed shirt, blue jeans, baal set kiye hue, haath mein ek achha sa spiral notebook aur pen.

“Andar aao,” maine kaha.

Akash andar aaya. Usne drawing room dekha aur sofa par baithne se pehle Ammi ki taraf dekha, jo kitchen ke darwaze par khadi thi.

“Namaste Aunty,” Akash ne haath jod kar bola. Uski awaaz mein ek alag si narmi thi.

Ammi muskurayi, “Arre beta Akash, aa gaye? Bahut bahut shukriya. Baitho na. Main abhi chai aur pakode laati hoon.”

Akash muskuraya, “Aunty aap itna sab kar rahi hain… sach mein zarurat nahi thi.”

Ammi hans di aur kitchen ki taraf chali gayi.

Akash ab mujhe taraf mudha. Uski muskurahat turant gayab ho gayi. Uski awaaz normal se thodi tez aur chidchidi thi.

“Chalo Idris, book kholo. college ke baad yahan aane ka bilkul mann nahi tha, lekin Aunty ne personally request ki thi isliye aa gaya hoon. Time waste mat karna mera.”

Main chupchaap maths ki book aur copy khol kar baith gaya. Akash mere paas baith gaya aur padhana shuru kar diya. Woh sach mein achha samjha raha tha, lekin mujhse baat karte waqt usmein sabr bilkul nahi tha.

“Arre yeh basic formula bhi nahi yaad? Kitni baar bataun ek cheez ko?” usne thoda tez awaaz mein kaha.

Main sirf sar jhukaye hue baitha tha. Kuch bol nahi paa raha tha.

Thodi der baad Ammi chai ke do cup aur garam pakodon ki plate lekar aayi. Akash turant badal gaya. Woh seedha uth khada hua.

“Aunty aap baithiye na. Khade rehne ki zarurat nahi,” usne naram awaaz mein kaha aur plate Ammi ke haath se le li.

Ammi baith gayi. Akash ne chai ka cup liya aur ek pakoda muh mein daala.

“Bahut tasty hain Aunty. Ghar ka swad hi alag hota hai. Meri mummy bhi banati hain, lekin aapka alag hi level hai.”

Ammi sharma gayi, “Arre beta, itna tareef mat karo. Bas ghar ka bana hai.”

Phir dono mein baatein shuru ho gayi. Akash ne poocha, “Aunty aapka din kaise guzarta hai? Ghar sambhalna aur sab kuch… bahut mehnat lagti hogi.”

Ammi ne dheere se bataya apne routine ke baare mein — subah ki ,,.,, Abbu ka office, ghar ka kaam, mera college. Akash sun raha tha jaise bahut interested ho.

“Idris lucky hai Aunty,” Akash ne bola, “Aisi caring mummy har kisi ko nahi milti.”

Main chupchaap baitha unki baatein sun raha tha. Akash jab Ammi se baat kar raha tha tab woh bilkul alag insaan lag raha tha — mature, polite, aur baat karne mein comfortable. Lekin jab woh mujhe padha raha tha tab uski patience zero thi.

Ammi uthi aur paani ka glass lekar aayi. Akash ne phir se usko thanks bola aur glass lete waqt thoda respectful andaaz mein baat ki.

Tuition ke beech mein Ammi do baar aur aayi — ek baar fresh pakode lekar aur ek baar aur chai lekar. Har baar Akash ka behaviour same tha. Woh Ammi ke saath baatein karta, unki sunta, aur kabhi-kabhi halka sa mazak bhi karta.

Ek baar Ammi ne poocha, “Beta tum council mein kya kaam karte ho?”

Akash ne detail mein bataya — college events, meetings, teachers ke saath coordination. Ammi impress ho rahi thi.

Main sirf dekh raha tha. Andar se ek ajeeb si jalan ho rahi thi. Akash mujhe itna rude treat kar raha tha, lekin Ammi ke saamne woh “ideal beta” ban raha tha.

Tuition lagbhag ek ghante chali. Akash ne finally notebook band kiya.

“Aunty, main chalta hoon. Aaj kaafi maza aaya.”

Ammi khade hokar boli, “Beta kabhi bhi aa jana. Ghar samajh lo. Idris ke liye tumhara itna time nikaalna bahut badi baat hai.”

Akash ne muskurate hue kaha, “Aunty aap itna keh rahi hain toh main zaroor aaunga. Aap bahut achhi hain.”

Gate tak chhodte waqt Akash ne mujhe sirf itna kaha, “Kal better prepare hoke aana. Aur haan, jo maine aaj samjhaya tha usko revise kar lena.”

Phir woh chala gaya.

Main andar aaya aur seedha apne kamre mein chala gaya. Darwaza andar se lock kiya aur bed par let gaya.

Dimag mein bahut kuch chal raha tha. Akash ka Ammi ke saath woh respectful behaviour… Ammi ki khushi… aur mere saath uska rude andaaz. Sab mix ho raha tha.

Main samajh nahi paa raha tha ki yeh sab kya ho raha hai. Akash sach mein sirf padhane aa raha hai ya kuch aur?

Raat ko khana khane ke baad bhi Ammi Akash ki tareef kar rahi thi Abbu ke saamne — “Bahut achha aur mature ladka hai. Idris ko sahi se padha raha hai.”

Main chupchaap khana kha raha tha.

Kamre mein aakar main bed par let gaya. Aankhein band ki, lekin neend nahi aa rahi thi. Sirf Akash ki woh muskurahat aur Ammi ki khushi mere dimag mein ghoom rahi thi.

Pehla din tha…

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 8

Do hafte guzar chuke the.

Ab Akash ka ghar aana roz ka mamooli kaam ban chukka tha. Hafte mein teen din, shaam ko sharp 5:30 baje woh aa jaata tha. Mere saath uska vyavhaar ab bhi thoda tez aur impatient tha, jaise main uske liye sirf ek zimmedaari hoon. Lekin Ammi ke saath uska andaaz puri tarah se badal chukka tha — naram, pyara aur khula hua.

Aaj bhi shaam ko doorbell baji. Main darwaza khola toh Akash ne mujhe dekha aur seedha bola,
“Book khol ke baith ja.”

Jaise hi woh drawing room mein baitha, Ammi kitchen se bahar aayi. Usne aaj bhi wohi light grey cotton salwar-kameez pehna hua tha. Dupatta sirf ek kandhe par tha aur chalte waqt dheere-dheere slip ho raha tha.

“Arre Akash beta… aa gaye!” Ammi ne muskurate hue kaha, unki aankhon mein ek khushi thi jo pehle kabhi nahi dikhti thi. “Main tere liye adrak wali chai bana rahi thi. Baitho na.”

Akash ne muskurakar jawab diya,
“Aunty, aap toh roz nayi-nayi cheez bana deti ho. Main toh sirf padhane aata hoon.”

Ammi halke se hansi,
“Beta, tu ab mera beta jaisa hai. Tu aata hai toh ghar mein jaan si aa jaati hai.”

Tuition shuru hua. Akash mujhe padha raha tha jab Ammi chai aur biscuits ki plate lekar aayi. Usne plate side table par rakhi aur Akash ke bilkul paas baith gayi.

Akash ne chai ka cup uthaya aur dheere se bola,
“Aunty, aaj aap bahut fresh lag rahi hain.”

Ammi thodi si sharma gayi, gaal laal ho gaye.
“Arre beta…”

Akash ne aur muskurate hue aage badhaya,
“Sach bol raha hoon Aunty. Agar aap mere class mein hoti na… toh saare ladke aapko date karne ke liye line laga dete.”

Ammi ka chehra aur gehra laal ho gaya. Woh sharma kar boli,
“Accha tum bhi… aise bol rahe ho.”

Akash ne halki hansi ke saath kaha,
“Haan Aunty, aap itni acchi aur itni sundar ho...”

Ammi ne sharma kar apna dupatta thoda upar kiya, lekin woh phir se slip ho gaya. Woh hansi,
“Beta tum ye kya anap-sanap bol rahe ho…”

Akash ne aur naram, madhur awaaz mein bola,
“Anap-sanap nahi Aunty… bilkul sach bol raha hoon. Aapko dekh kar dil khush ho jaata hai.”

Main sofa par chup-chaap baitha sab sun raha tha. Mera dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha. Akash Ammi ke saath khule aam flirt kar raha tha aur Ammi… woh sharma rahi thi, hans rahi thi, lekin rok nahi rahi thi.

Thodi der baad Ammi uth kar kitchen chali gayi. Jaise hi woh andar gayi, Akash ki awaaz ekdum badal gayi — tez aur thukra hua.

“Idris, yaar tu sach mein bore kar deta hai. Ek cheez das baar samjhaani padti hai tujhe.”

Main kuch nahi bola.

Ammi wapas aayi toh Akash phir se wohi naram aur pyara wala ban gaya.

Tuition khatam hone ke baad Akash ne Ammi ki taraf dekha aur bola,
“Aunty, main soch raha tha… Idris ko sirf padhai se thak jaata hai. Kabhi-kabhi main usko bahar bhi le jaaun? Ground pe ya tea stall pe… thoda mind fresh ho jaaye.”

Ammi turant muskurate hue boli,
“Haan beta, bilkul le jao. Mujhe koi problem nahi. Idris ko bhi achha lagega.”

Akash ne mujhe dekha aur halke se muskuraya,
“Theek hai Idris, kal college ke baad tere ko le chalunga.”

Phir woh utha. Gate tak chhodne Ammi khud uske saath gayi.

“Kal jaldi aa jaana beta,” Ammi ne pyaar se kaha.

“Zaroor Aunty,” Akash ne muskurate hue jawab diya aur gate band kar diya.

Jaise hi woh chala gaya, Ammi kitchen ki taraf jaate hue halke se gaane lagi thi. Unka chehra khila hua tha, aankhon mein ek nayi chamak thi.

Main andar aaya aur seedha apne kamre mein chala gaya. Bed par let gaya.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Idris ki ammi - Saira syed

 

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter 9


Tuition padhane ke baad Akash ne notebook band ki aur seedha uth khada hua. Mujhe usne dekha bhi nahi, bas thandi awaaz mein bola, “Bas aaj ke liye itna hi...”

Main chupchaap sar hila diya.

Tabhi Ammi kitchen se chai aur biscuits ki plate lekar aayi. Jaise hi unki nazar Akash par padi, unke chehre par wohi pyari muskaan aa gayi.

“Aunty, aapka chai bahut achha banata hai,” Akash ne naram awaaz mein kaha. “Aaj main Idris ko thoda bahar le ja raha hoon. Market side ghuma ke laata hoon… dimag fresh ho jayega. Aapko koi problem toh nahi na?”

Ammi muskurate hue turant boli, “Arre nahi beta, bilkul le jao. Idris ko bhi achha lagega. Dhyan rakhna uska.”

Akash ne sirf muskurakar haan mein gardan hilayi.

Jaise hi main gate ke bahar nikla, Akash ka andaaz puri tarah badal gaya. Woh bike ki taraf badhte hue bola, “Baith ja peeche.”

Main chupchaap uske peeche baith gaya. Usne bike start ki aur tez hawa mein nikal pada. Raste bhar usne mujhse ek bhi baat nahi ki. Main sirf uski peeth dekhta hua baitha raha.

Kuch der baad hum local market ke paas pahunch gaye. Shaam ka waqt tha. Dukanon ki lights jal rahi thi aur thodi bheed thi. Akash ne ek paan-cigarette ki dukaan ke paas bike rok di.

Wahan deewar ke sahare Chand khada tha. Uske haath mein ek cigarette thi aur woh dheere-dheere kas laga raha tha. Uska chehra dekh mujhe ghin si aa gayi — ekdam gande sande kapde mein tha.

Chand ne Akash ko dekhte hi haath upar karke mazakiya salami maari. “Arre bhai Akash! Kya scene hai?”

Phir uski nazar mere upar padi. Woh thoda muskuraya aur bola, “Hello yaar.”

Akash bike se utar kar uski taraf badh gaya. Main nahi jaana chahta tha, par Akash ke peeche-peeche main bhi jaane laga. Jaise hi hum dono paas pahunche, Chand ne apna cigarette packet aage badhaya.

“Le bhai,” usne Akash se kaha.

Akash ne bina kuch soche ek cigarette nikaali, uske muh mein lagayi aur lighter se sulga li. Usne ek gehra kas lagaya aur dhuaan chhoda. Main usko dekh kar hairaan reh gaya. college ka topper, headmaster ka favourite… yeh cigarette pi raha tha?

Akash ne Chand ki taraf dekha aur bola, “Yaad hai na? Yeh Idris hai… jiske ghar Sunday ko biryani khayi thi.”

Chand ne mujhe ek baar upar se neeche tak dekha aur sirf sar hilaya. “Haan yaar, yaad hai.”

Phir dono aapas mein baat karne lage. Unki baatein normal shuru hui, par jaldi hi bahut gandi aur galeech ho gayi. Woh dono has-has kar ek dusre ko taane maar rahe the.

Chand ne cigarette ke saath ek lamba kas lagate hue shuru kiya, “Yaar woh bhabhi jo main kitne dino se patane ki koshish kar raha tha na… finally tere bhai ne uski chut khol hi daali. Behenchod, kitni kasi hui chut thi uski! Pehli baar jab lund ghusa toh saali ki aankhein phat gayi. Chillane lagi, ‘Arre ruk jao… mar jaungi… bahut mota hai!’ Main toh has has ke usko bol raha tha — ‘Abhi toh adha bhi nahi ghusaa hai randi’.”

Akash zor se hasa aur usne bhi ek gehra kas lagaya. “Saale, kaise pat gayi be? Kitni nakhrebaaz thi saali. Tujhe dekh kar toh muh bhi nahi modti thi.”

Chand ne apne peele daant dikha kar hans diya, “Behenchod patati kaise nahi — uska bewda pati toh chod pata hi kahan hai. Roz office jaake thak jaata tha. Saali ko chudai ki bhookh lagi thi. Main toh usko kutiya bana ke peeche se thok raha tha. Gaand bahut soft aur moti thi… haath mein leke masalta raha pura time. Ek haath se uske mamme bhi nichod raha tha. Doodh nikalne wale bade-bade chooche the uske… choosne mein bahut maza aaya.”

Akash ne uske kandhe par haath maara aur hasate hue bola, “Aur bol… uski chut kaise thi? Tight thi ya geeli ho ke khul gayi thi? Kitni der tak maara tune?”

Chand excited ho kar bola, “Behenchod geeli toh bilkul pani ki tarah ho rahi thi. Main ne usko bed par litaya, taange upar karke zor-zor se dhakke maare. Saali ke muh se awaazein nikal rahi thi — ‘Aur zor se… haan… aur gehraai tak…’ Main toh uski gaand ke andar ungli bhi daal di thi saath mein. Pura time usko randi bol raha tha aur woh enjoy kar rahi thi. Last mein uske andar hi jhad gaya tha.”

Akash hans kar bola, “Toh ab bata… woh bhabhi ki chut kab dilwa raha hai mujhe? Ek baar try karna hai yaar. Tu toh maze le chuka, ab mera number kab aa raha hai? Saali ke mamme aur gaand dono ek saath dekhna hai mujhe.”

Chand ne aankh maar kar kaha, “Arre bhai, tu bol toh sahi… main arrange kar dunga. Woh ab mera personal maal ban chuki hai. Jab marzi bol, leke aaunga. Bas tu bhi usko achhe se chodna… main dekhna chahta hoon ki tu kaise maarta hai usko.”

Dono phir se zor-zor se hasne lage. Unki baatein itni gandi, khuli aur detail bhari thi ki main wahan khade-khade bahut ajeeb mehsoos kar raha tha. Mere kaan garam ho rahe the. Dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha. Main chupchaap khada tha, kuch bol nahi pa raha tha. Unki har baat mere andar kuch hila rahi thi. Chand ki woh purani awaaz mere kaanon mein goonj rahi thi — “saali ka gaand dekh… khod ke chhod dun.”

Main wahan se bhaagna chahta tha, par pair nahi uth rahe the.

Tabhi Chand ne mujhe dekha. Main ab bhi chupchaap khada tha. Usne ek naya cigarette packet se nikaala aur mere taraf badhaya.

“Le bhai Idris, tu bhi laga le. Itna chup kyun khada hai jaise ladki ho?”

Main turant peeche hat gaya. “Nahi… mujhe nahi chahiye.”

Akash ne muskurate hue mujhe dekha aur bola, “Arre ek baar laga le yaar. Kya ladki ban raha hai? Mard ban.”

Chand bhi hasne laga, “Haan yaar, ek-do kas laga. Kuch nahi hota.”

Dono ke pressure mein main atak gaya. Haath kaanp raha tha, par maine cigarette le li. Chand ne lighter jalakar diya. Maine dheere se muh mein lagayi aur ek kas lagaya.

Turant mera gala jalta hua mehsoos hua. Dhuaan andar gaya aur main zor-zor se khasne laga. Aankhein paani se bhar gayi. Main ruk nahi pa raha tha.

Akash aur Chand dono zor se hasne lage.

“Arre wah! Pehli baar mein hi itna drama!” Akash hasate hue bola.

Chand ne apna cigarette muh se nikaalte hue kaha, “Saala bilkul nalla hai… dekho kaise khas raha hai.”

Akash ne has-has kar mujhe ek Mentos diya. “Le, muh fresh kar le.”

Phir usne mujhe bike par bitha liya. Mera sir abhi bhi ghum raha tha. Dhue ki wajah se aankhein bhari hui thi aur dimag mein bhari si feeling thi. Raste ka kuch pata hi nahi chala. Sirf hawa ka jhonka aur bike ki awaaz sunai de rahi thi.

Jab bike ghar ke gate par ruki, tab ja kar mujhe ehsaas hua ki hum wapas aa gaye hain.

Akash ne gate tak aakar Ammi ko dekha aur apni woh purani naram awaaz mein bola, “Aunty, Idris ka dimag bilkul fresh ho gaya. Bahut maza aaya.”

Ammi muskurate hue boli, “Shukriya beta. Andar aa ke paani pi lete.”

Lekin main seedha apne kamre ki taraf chala gaya. Darwaza andar se lock kiya aur bistar par let gaya.

Mera sir abhi bhi bhari tha. Gale mein jalan thi. Aur dimag mein sirf Chand aur Akash ki woh galeech baatein ghoom rahi thi — bhabhi ki chut, mamme, gaand… aur unki hasi.

Main aankhein band kiye hue tha, par neend door thi.

Aur sabse buri baat — unki baaton ke saath-saath Chand ka woh purana comment bhi baar-baar yaad aa raha tha.

“Saali ka gaand dekh…”

Mera haath dheere se apni pant ki taraf badh gaya. Shame aur gussa saath mein tha, phir bhi kuch aur bhi tha — ek ajeeb si garam jalan.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Idris ki ammi ki chut kaisi honi chahiye? Pic reference!?

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter 10



Raat ke 10:45 baj chuke the. Ghar mein pura sannata tha. Abbu apne kamre mein so chuke the. Main apne bistar par baitha tha, darwaza andar se lock kiya hua. Mobile ko god mein rakh kar main ek uncut desi porn dekh raha tha.

Pehle toh main sirf sab bhunane ke liye laga raha tha. Akash ki woh khuli flirt wali baatein… Ammi ka sharmakar hansna… sab kuch dimag mein ghum raha tha. Main soch raha tha ki porn dekh kar sab bhool jaunga. Par aaj porn bhi normal nahi tha.

Screen par ek desi aunty thi — thodi moti, bhari-bhari, bilkul mature, salwar-kameez mein. Uska dupatta ek taraf gira hua tha aur ek mota, kaala ladka uske peeche se zor-zor se chod raha tha. Aunty ki choochiyan hil rahi thi, gaand pe thapad pad rahe the aur woh “aaahhh… zor se… haan beta…” kar rahi thi.

Main bahut intently dekh raha tha. Haath pant ke andar tha, lund ko dheere-dheere hilaa raha tha. Nazar screen se hat hi nahi rahi thi. Scene itna garam tha ki mera saans tez ho gaya tha.

Phir achanak… bina kisi warning ke… mera dimag neeche ki taraf mud gaya.

Screen par wahi aunty thi… lekin uska chehra badal gaya. Woh Ammi ka chehra ban gaya. Wohi light grey salwar-kameez… wohi tight kameez… wohi slip hota hua dupatta. Aur uske peeche ka mota kaala ladka… woh Akash ban gaya. Akash ka woh confident chehra, uski gym wali body, aur wohi naram muskurahat.

Akash ne Ammi ki kamar pakdi, zor se dhakka maara aur bola, “Aunty… aapki gaand bahut tight hai… main toh roz aata rahunga aise chodne.”

Ammi screen par moan karti hui boli, “Haan beta Akash… aur zor se… Idris ko kuch mat bataana…”

Us ek imagination ke saath hi mera haath ruk gaya. Dil ekdum se zor se dhadakne laga. Mobile mere haath se chhoot kar seedha bistar ke neeche gir gaya. Screen abhi bhi chal raha tha, par mujhe kuch sunai nahi de raha tha.

Mera muh sukha gaya. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini aur ghin ek saath uth rahi thi.

Kya soch raha tha main?
Yeh meri Ammi hai… aur main unke baare mein yeh sab?

Maine jhat se mobile uthaya, porn band kiya aur side mein phenk diya. Phir dono ghutne upar kiye, apne aap ko gol si position mein lapet liya. Aankhein zor se band kar li.

“So ja Idris… so ja… yeh sab galat hai… bahut galat hai…”

Par neend door-door tak nahi thi. Sirf woh scene baar-baar aankhon ke saamne aa raha tha — Akash Ammi ko peeche se chodta hua… Ammi ka woh sharmaya hua chehra… aur unki awaaz jo keh rahi thi “haan beta…”

Main aur zor se apne aap ko lapet liya. Shame itna tha ki rona aa raha tha. Par aansu bhi nahi aa rahe the. Sirf ek gehri si jalan thi dil ke andar.

Tabhi darwaza par halki si knock hui.

“Idris beta… khana khaane aa ja. Thanda ho raha hai.”

Ammi ki awaaz thi.

Main turant apna sir ghutno mein aur chhupa liya. Nazar uthane ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi.

Darwaza dheere se khula. Ammi andar aayi. Unhone aaj raat ko bhi wohi light grey salwar-kameez pehna hua tha. Dupatta ab sirf ek kandhe par latka hua tha.

Main ne dheere se sir uthaya… par nazar seedha unke chehre par nahi gayi. Meri nazar unke honthon par atak gayi.

Woh gore, thode bhare hue, halke se chamakte hue honth.

Aur usi pal mere dil-o-dimag mein ek hi khayal zor-zor se gunj utha —

*Agar Akash ise chum le to…*

Mera saans ruk sa gaya. Maine phir se sir jhuka liya. Ammi ke paas aane ki awaaz aa rahi thi.

“Beta kya hua? Tabiyat toh theek hai na?”

Main kuch nahi bol paaya. Sirf sar hila diya aur chupchaap bistar se utarne ki koshish karne laga.

Par woh khayal… woh ek hi khayal… ab mere dimag mein baith gaya tha.

*Agar Akash ise chum le to…*

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 11


Do hafte aur guzar gaye the.

Ab Akash ka ghar aana bilkul roz ka mamool ban chukka tha. Hafte mein teen din toh pakke the, kabhi-kabhi chaar din bhi ho jaate. Tuition ke naam par ab ghar mein sirf padhai nahi chal rahi thi. Kuch aur bhi hone laga tha — dheere-dheere, chhup-chhup kar, par har din thoda zyada mehsoos hota ja raha tha.

Har shaam 5:30 baje Akash aata. Main table par baith jaata, book kholta. Akash mere saamne baith kar mujhe sums ya equations de deta aur bolta, “Idris, yeh sab solve kar. Main check karunga baad mein.” Phir woh khud sofa par baith jaata.

Aur tabhi Ammi nasta lekar aati.

---

Pehle kuch din sirf normal baatein hoti thi.

Ammi plate lekar aati, chai aur pakode rakhti. Akash muskurakar bolta, “Aunty aapka haath ka swad hi alag hai.” Ammi hans deti aur kitchen chali jaati. Main sir jhukaye hue sums solve karta rehta.

Lekin dheere-dheere baatein had se paar jaane lagi.

Ek shaam Ammi pakode lekar aayi. Akash ne plate lete hue muskurate hue kaha,

“Aunty, aap itni sundar kyun lagti ho har din? Main toh padhate waqt bhi aapko hi sochta rehta hoon.”

Ammi ne sharma kar boli, “Arre beta, aise mat bolo. Idris baitha hai yahan.”

Akash ne hans kar kaha, “Idris ko kya, woh toh mera student hai. Aap toh meri favourite ho Aunty.”

Main sir jhukaye hue baitha tha. Nazar uthane ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi. Par kaan sab sun rahe the.

Agla din aur tez tha.

Ammi chai lekar aayi. Akash ne cup lete hue bola,

“Aunty, agar aap meri girlfriend hoti na… toh main roz aapke liye college bunk kar deta.”

Ammi ka chehra laal ho gaya. Woh hans di aur boli, “Besharam ladka! Main teri mummy ke umar ki hoon.”

Akash ne turant jawab diya, “Umr ka kya hai Aunty? Dil toh aapka jawaan hai. Aur dikhti bhi itni hot ho ki koi bhi ladka fida ho jaaye.”

Ammi ne kuch nahi kaha. Bas muskurati hui wapas kitchen chali gayi.

Main table par baitha tha, pen pakde hue, par kuch likh nahi pa raha tha. Sirf sir jhukaye rakh raha tha.

---

Kuch din aise hi guzar gaye.

Har din Akash mere saamne hi Ammi ko compliment deta. Kabhi unke kapdon ki tareef, kabhi chehre ki, kabhi unki muskurahat ki.

Ek shaam Ammi nasta lekar aayi tab Akash ne kaha,

“Aunty aaj aapka suit… bilkul perfect lag raha hai. Lagta hai aapne mere liye hi pehna hai. ha ha ha....”

Ammi sharma kar boli, “Aisa nahi hai beta, aap mujhe Idris ke samane sharminda kar rahe ho.”

Akash hans pada, “Sharmao mat Aunty. Sach bol raha hoon. Agar aap meri girlfriend hoti toh main aapko har roz naye kapde dilwata.”

Main sir jhukaye hue baitha tha. Dil mein jalan ho rahi thi, par muh se kuch nahi nikal raha tha.

---

Phir ek din woh scene hua.

Ammi chai ki tray lekar aayi. Akash ne tray se cup liya aur Ammi ke haath ko kuch der ke liye pakad liya. Ammi ne turant haath jhatak diya aur boli, “Beta… kya kar rahe ho?”

Akash ne muskurate hue kaha, “Sorry Aunty… haath slip ho gaya.”

Lekin uski aankhon mein wohi chamak thi.

Agla din jab Ammi chai de rahi thi, Akash ne phir se uske haath ko pakad liya. Is baar Ammi ne haath nahi hataya. Woh bas thodi der tak wahi rehne diya. Phir dheere se haath chhuda liya.

Main sab dekh raha tha. Nazar jhukaye hue, par dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha.

---

Ab Akash hamesha Ammi ki badai karne laga tha.

Kabhi bolta, “Aunty aapke kapde aap par kitne achhe lagte hain… bilkul young ladkiyon jaisi lagti ho.” Kabhi, “Aunty aapka chehra itna glow kar raha hai aaj… kya baat hai?” Kabhi, “Aapki yeh muskurahat dekh kar din ban jaata hai.”

Aur maine dheere-dheere gaur kiya — Ammi 5 baje se pehle kapde badalne lagi thi. Pehle woh ghar ka purana salwar-kameez pehenti thi. Ab woh naye-naye suits nikaalne lagi thi. Kabhi makeup bhi kar leti thi — halka sa lipstick, aankhon mein kajal. Jaise Akash ke aane ka intezaar kar rahi ho.

---

Phir ek din aisa hua jis se mere honsh ud gaye.

Tuition chal rahi thi. Main table par sums solve kar raha tha. Achanak kitchen se Ammi ki awaaz aayi, “Arre gas khatam ho gaya!”

Gas wala bahar bell baja raha tha. Cylinder badalne aaya tha.

Ammi pehle mujhe taraf dekha. Phir turant Akash ki taraf mud gayi. Unhe pata tha ki mujhse bhara hua cylinder nahi uth sakta.

“Aakash beta… zara madad kar do na,” Ammi ne dheere se kaha.

Akash turant utha. Usne bade asani se bhara cylinder uthaya aur kitchen mein le ja kar purana wala nikaal diya. Naya cylinder set kar diya. Ammi uske saath kitchen mein khadi thi, baatein kar rahi thi.

Main table par baitha tha. Sirf dekh raha tha.

Jab Akash wapas aaya toh uske haath mein thoda paani laga hua tha. Ammi ne uske haath se kapde se pochha aur boli, “Beta tumne bahut madad ki… thank you.”

Akash ne muskurate hue kaha, “Aunty aapke liye kuch bhi. Bas aap muskurati raho.”

Ammi ne uski taraf dekha. Unki aankhon mein ek alag si chamak thi.

Us din tuition ke baad Akash bahut der tak baitha raha. Main kamre mein chala gaya tha. Jab main wapas aaya toh dono drawing room mein baith kar dheere-dheere baat kar rahe the. Akash ka haath Ammi ke haath par tha. Ammi ne is baar haath nahi hataya.

Maine darwaze ke peeche se dekha.

Akash ne dheere se bola,

“Aunty… aapko pata hai na, main sirf Idris ki wajah se nahi aata tha yahan.”

Ammi ne aankhein jhukayi aur halki si awaaz mein boli,

“Pata hai beta… pata hai.”

Mera dil ekdum se ruk sa gaya.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 12




Do-teen din aur guzar gaye the.

Us shaam bhi 5:25 baje Akash aaya tha. Usne mujhe ek lambi exercise de di thi — pura chapter revise karne ke saath 12 tough questions. “Idris, yeh sab khatam kar. Main 40 minute baad check karunga,” usne bola aur sofa par baith gaya aur mobile chalane laga.

Main jhuka hua tha, pen haath mein, par dimag bilkul kahin aur tha.

Tabhi kitchen se Ammi ki tez awaaz aayi. Woh phone par Abbu se baat kar rahi thi.

“...kya matlab busy ho? Main ne kal hi bata diya tha na ki aaj market jaana hai. Drawing room ke curtains purane ho gaye hain, bilkul pheeke pad gaye hain. Naye kapde lene hain. Tumhe toh sirf office dikhta hai!”

Abbu ki awaaz phone mein dheemi sunai de rahi thi. Ammi aur tez ho gayi.

“Haan haan, har baar yahi bahana! Meeting aa gayi, call aa gaya… main kya karun? Akeli market chali jaun? Tumhe pata hai na kitna time lagta hai kapde choose karne mein!”

Phone ka call cut hua. Ammi ne zor se saans li aur phone side mein rakh diya. Unka chehra pareshan tha.

Main ne nazar utha kar dekha. Ammi kitchen ke darwaze par khadi thi. Aaj unhone woh light pink cotton salwar-kameez pehna hua tha jo unke badan par kas kar baitha tha. Dupatta sirf ek kandhe par latka hua tha.

Akash turant utha aur kitchen ki taraf gaya.

“Aunty, kya hua?” usne pyaar se poocha.

Ammi ne thak kar bola, “Beta, Idris ke Abbu ko office se bahar nahi nikal rahe. Market jaana hai. Drawing room ke naye curtains ke kapde lene hain. Main akeli kaise jaun? Kitna time lagta hai choose karne mein.”

Akash ne bina ek second soche kaha,

“Aunty tension mat lo. Main le chalta hoon aapko. Bike par hi chalein. Jaldi ho jayega.”

Ammi ek pal ke liye sochi. Unki nazar mere taraf gayi, phir Akash ki taraf. Unke chehre par thodi si hichkichahat thi.

“Par aaj ki padhai…?”

Akash ne muskurate hue mujhe taraf ishara kiya,

“Main ne Idris ko pura exercise de diya hai. Woh khud kar lega. Aap fikar mat karo.”

Ammi ne ek second aur socha. Phir dheere se boli,

“Theek hai beta… chalte hain. Bas jaldi kar lenge.”

Mera dil ekdum se ruk sa gaya.

*Namehram ladke ke saath market? Bike par? Aur woh itni easily maan gayi? Sirf curtains ke kapde lene ke liye?*

Main table par baitha tha, pen haath mein pakda hua, par haath kaanp rahe the. Nazar uthane ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi. Ammi ne jaldi se dupatta theek kiya, purse uthaya aur Akash ki taraf dekha.

“Chalo beta.”

Akash ne mujhe dekha aur bola, “Idris, jo maine diya hai woh khatam kar lena. Main jaldi aata hoon.”

Dono bahar nikal gaye.

Main wahi baitha tha. Shell shocked. Dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha. Ammi itni easily Akash ke saath chali gayi? Woh bhi bike par? Mere saamne hi?

Mere dimag mein sirf ek hi baat ghoom rahi thi — *ye kya ho raha hai.....*

Kuch minute baad main utha. Pair kaanp rahe the. Maine jaldi se gate khola aur bahar nikal aaya. Dono abhi bhi gali ke mod par the. Akash bike start kar raha tha. Ammi peeche baith rahi thi. Unka dupatta hawa mein ud raha tha. Unki kamar Akash ke peeche se lag rahi thi.

Maine tezi se ek auto roka.

“Bhaiya, us blue bike ko follow karo… jaldi!”

Auto wale ne mujhe ajeeb si nazar se dekha par chala diya.

Main peeche baith kar unki bike ko dekhta raha. Ammi Akash ke peeche baithi thi. Unke haath Akash ki kamar ke paas the. Bike tez chali ja rahi thi.

Mera pet aith raha tha. Dil mein ek gehri si jalan thi. *Yeh kya ho raha hai? Ammi… meri Ammi…?*

Market pahunch kar bike ek taraf ruk gayi. Main ne auto roka aur jaldi se utar gaya. Paise dekar main un dono ke peeche-peeche chal pada.

Market mein bheed thi. Pehle woh kapde ki ek badi dukaan mein gaye. Ammi ne drawing room ke curtains ke kapde choose karne shuru kiye. Akash uske bilkul paas khada tha. Woh dono baatein kar rahe the. Akash kabhi Ammi ko hasa raha tha, kabhi woh khud hans rahi thi. Ammi ne kuch kapde uthaye, Akash ne unko mirror ke saamne dikhaaye. Dono hans-hans kar baat kar rahe the.

Main dukaan ke bahar ek stall ke peeche chhup kar dekh raha tha.

Kapde lene ke baad dono bahar nikle. Ammi ke haath mein ek packet tha. Akash uske bilkul saath chal raha tha.

Mera dil zor se dhadak utha.

Akash ne Ammi ko ek pani puri ke stall par le gaya. Wahan chaat aur pani puri ka stall tha.

“Aunty, thoda break le lo. Market mein itna ghum liya, ab kuch kha lo,” Akash ne muskurate hue kaha.

Ammi ne sharma kar kaha, “Beta, zarurat nahi… ghar mein khana hai.”

Lekin Akash ne nahi maana. Usne do plate pani puri maangi. Pehli pani puri usne Ammi ke muh ke paas ki. Ammi ne muh khola aur kha li. Dono zor-zor se hasne lage. Akash khud pani puri kha raha tha aur baar-baar Ammi ko hasa raha tha.

“Arre Aunty, aur tikha banwaun kya,” Akash ne hans kar kaha.

Ammi ne sharma kar uske kandhe par halka sa thappad maara, “Nahi beta ye pehle se bahut chatak hai...”

Phir Akash ne Ammi ka haath pakad liya aur bola, “Aao Aunty, yahan aloo tikki bhi bahut achhi hai.” Ammi ne haath nahi hataya. Woh uske saath chalti rahi.

Dono ek dusre ke saath hans-hans kar baatein kar rahe the. Jaise koi boyfriend-girlfriend mini date par ho. Market ki bheed mein bhi un dono ko koi fark nahi pad raha tha.

Main ek dukaan ke peeche se sab dekh raha tha. Har hasi, har touch mere dil ko chubh rahi thi.

Phir woh dono ek saste jewellery wale stall par ruk gaye.

Akash ne ek jodi chhote-chhote saste jhumke uthaye — chandi jaisi chamakte hue, bilkul simple se.

“Aunty, yeh aapke liye,” usne muskurate hue kaha.

Ammi ne turant mana kar diya, “Nahi beta… bilkul nahi. Yeh kya bakwas hai? Main kya karungi inka?”

Akash nahi maana. Usne jhumke Ammi ke kaan ke paas kiye aur boli, “Dekho na Aunty… yeh aapke chehre par kitne achhe lagenge. Bas ek baar try karo. Mere liye.”

Ammi ne sharma kar mana kiya, lekin Akash ne zor diya. Aakhir mein Ammi ne haath badhaya aur jhumke le liye. Usne apne kaanon mein pehen liye aur chhote se mirror mein dekha.

Akash ne muskurate hue kaha, “Bahut sundar lag rahi ho Aunty…”

Ammi ne sharma kar uske kandhe par halka sa thappad maara aur boli, “Tum bhi na… bilkul nahi sudhroge.”

Lekin woh jhumke utaar nahi rahi thi. Woh unhe pehne hi chali rahi thi.

Main wahan khada tha. Dil mein ek tez dard uth raha tha. Ammi ne woh jhumke accept kar liye… Akash ke haath se…

Un dono ne aur thodi der market mein ghuma. Kabhi Akash Ammi ke haath pakad kar bheed se bachata, kabhi dono ek saath chaat ke stall par ruk kar has rahe the. Ammi ka chehra bilkul khila hua tha. Jaise woh bahut saalon baad kisi ke saath itna khul kar baat kar rahi ho.

Main har cheez dekh raha tha.

Har hasi, har touch, har compliment… sab kuch mere andar ek gehri si jalan chhod raha tha.

Kuch der baad dono bike ki taraf laut rahe the. Ammi ke haath mein ab do packet the — ek curtains ke kapde wala, dusra woh jhumke wala. Akash uske bilkul paas chal raha tha.

Main unke aage-aage ghar tak auto mein aaya.

Ghar pahunch kar main jaldi se andar ghus gaya aur sofe pe jaa baitha - meri saans phul rahi thi aur ek bhi sawal solve nahi hua tha - kuch pal baad ammi aur Akash aaye - unke hath me wahi do saman the - Akash mere paas aaya aur mere copy ko dekha aur ek bhi sawal solve nahi hua dekh gussa ho gaya.

"Idris kya kar raha hai - aise exam pass karega - ek bhi sawal ka jawab nahi diya hai"

Maine apna sir niche jhuka diya aur dheere se kaha, "mere tabiyat sahi nahi lag raha tha Akash; isliye main thoda so gaya tha"

Lekin sacchai kuch aur thi - aur mera tezi se dhadakata dil uski gawahi de raha tha.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 13



Mera ek aur important exam aane wala tha. Akash ne pichhle kuch hafte se iski taiyari karwayi thi. Raat-din mehnat ki thi usne mujhpe. Par mujhe apne upar bilkul confidence nahi tha. Har baar paper de kar lagta tha ki kuch nahi hua, sab bhool gaya.

Phir agle hafte exam de diya. Jab paper khatam karke bahar aaya toh dil mein bas yahi tha ki “ab jo hoga dekha jayega.”

Do-teen din aur guzar gaye the. Exam ke results aa gaye the.

Maine Maths mein 59/80 paaye the — pehle se kaafi behtar. Baaki subjects mein bhi accha score tha (60 se 70 tak). Ghar mein khushi ka mahaul tha. Abbu ne mujhe gale lagaya aur bola, “Beta, yeh maths ka improvement dekha? Pehle fail hote rehta tha, ab 62! Akash ne sach mein jaan laga di thi tere pe.”

Ammi ka chehra bilkul khila hua tha. Unhone mujhe pyaar se sar par haath phera aur muskurate hue kaha, “Akash beta ki wajah se hi yeh sab possible hua hai. Kitni mehnat ki usne iske saath.”

Usi shaam Ammi ne faisla kiya ki Akash ko treat deni chahiye. Unhone usse phone par invite kiya dinner ke liye. Akash ne pehle mana kiya, “Aunty kya zarurat hai, yeh mera farz tha,” par Ammi aur Abbu ne itna zor diya ki woh maan gaya.

Agla din dopahar mein hum sab restaurant gaye. Abbu ne kaha tha, “Raat ko mehnga padega, dopahar mein jaate hain toh paise bach jayenge.” Restaurant din me kaafi khali tha. Sirf do-teen tables par log the. Manager ne humein end mein ek corner ki table di thi — bilkul last mein.

Ammi us din light blue salwar-kameez mein thi. Dupatta achhe se baandha hua tha. Woh khush aur thodi si excited lag rahi thi.

Table par baatein chal rahi thi. Khana aaya toh Abbu aur Ammi dono Akash ki taareef karne lage. “Akash beta itna responsible hai… kitni achhi tarike se padhata hai… Idris ko toh kabhi itna nahi samajh aaya tha.” Main chup-chaap baitha tha. Unki har taareef mere dil mein chubh rahi thi.

Khana khate-khate Abbu ka phone baj utha. Office se urgent call tha. Unka chehra serious ho gaya. “Sorry, mujhe turant jaana padega. Boss bula rahe hain.” Woh jaldi se uthe, bill ke liye kuch paisa ammi ko diye aur chale gaye. Ab table par sirf hum teeno bache the — Ammi, main aur Akash.

Akash ne turant mujhe dekha aur muskurate hue bola, “Idris, tu thoda side ho jao na.” Phir woh uth kar Ammi ke bilkul bagal mein baith gaya. Ab main unke saamne tha aur woh dono side by side, aur main kuch bol nahi paya.

Khana khatam hone ke baad Akash ne dessert order kiya — ice-cream. Jab ice-cream aaya, woh dheere se Ammi se bola, “Aunty, aaj aap bahut khubsurat lag rahi hain. Yeh colour aap par bahut achha lagta hai.”

Ammi ne sharma kar dupatta theek kiya aur dheemi awaaz mein boli, “Beta, bas kar…”

Lekin Akash rukne wala nahi tha. Usne table ke neeche apna haath badhaya aur Ammi ki jaangh par haath rakh diya. Salwar ke upar se hi, ise dekh main andar se pagal sa ho gaya - mujhe yakeen nahi aa raha tha ki usme itna himamt kaise aa gayi - aur us se bhi jyada mujhe apni ammi pe yakeen nahi ho raha tha ki wo kaise ye sab ki izajat de rahi hai.

Ammi ka pura badan ekdum se sakht ho gaya. Unki aankhein phail gayi. Woh bohot zyada shocked aur embarrassed ho gayi. Unhone apni taang turant peeche khinchne ki koshish ki, par Akash ne dheere se pakad rakha tha. Main opposite baitha sab dekh raha tha — Akash ke kandhe ki harkat aur Ammi ka laal padta chehra. Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga tha.

Akash Ammi ki taraf jhuka aur dheere se bola, “Aunty… relax kariye na. Koi nahi dekh raha.” Ye lafz wo mere samane bol raha tha; mujhe aisa lag raha tha jaise is kameene Akash ko mere rahne ya na rahne se faraq nahi padta hai.

Ice-cream ke spoon se usne Ammi ke muh ke paas ek bite kiya. Ammi ne muskil se kha liya. Unka chehra ab aur laal ho chuka tha.

Mujhse ye sab dekh badast nahi ho raha tha, Tabhi maine kaha, “Main haath dhoke aata hoon.” Main utha aur washroom ki taraf chal pada. Lekin raaste mein hi main peeche mud kar dekhne laga.

Jo maine dekha, usse mera dil ruk sa gaya.

Akash ne Ammi ke chehre ko apni taraf ghumaya tha. Usne apne hont Ammi ke hont ke bilkul paas le ja kar rok diye the — sirf ek inch ki doori. Woh Ammi ko tease kar raha tha, unhe rok raha tha, unki saans rok raha tha. Ammi ki aankhein band thi. Unki saans tez ho rahi thi. Kuch seconds tak woh aise hi rahe…

Phir Ammi ne khud aage badh kar apne hont Akash ke honton par rakh diye.

Ek chhota sa, hesitant kiss… lekin woh tha. Meri Ammi ne khud kiss kiya tha.

Sirf 3-4 seconds ka tha, par mujhe jaise saalon laga. Ammi ne turant peeche hat kar dupatta sambhala aur nazar neeche kar li. Unka chehra ab bilkul laal ho chuka tha. Akash ke honton par ek halki si muskaan thi.

Main jaldi se washroom chala gaya. Haath dho kar wapas aaya toh dono normal baith rahe the, par Ammi baar-baar dupatta theek kar rahi thi aur meri taraf nazar bhi nahi mila rahi thi.

Ice-cream khatam hua. Hum teeno bahar nikle. Akash aapne bike se chala gaya aur main aur ammi ne ek auto kar liya aur wapas aate waqt pura rasta Ammi chup rahi. Main bagal me baitha tha, aankhein band kiye, par dimag mein sirf wahi scene chal raha tha.

*Woh kiss… Ammi ne khud…*

Ghar pahunch kar main seedha apne kamre mein chala gaya. Dil mein aag si lag rahi thi. Rona aa raha tha, gussa aa raha tha, aur sabse badi baat — dar lag raha tha.

Kya ho raha tha meri Ammi ke saath?

Aur main kuch kar bhi nahi paa raha tha…

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter – 14


Ghar pahunchte hi main seedha apne kamre mein ghus gaya. Darwaza zor se band kiya aur bed par let gaya. Dil mein ek aag si lag rahi thi — gussa, sharm, aur sabse badi baat, apne upar gussa.

“Main kuch kyun nahi kar paya?” main apne aap se baar-baar pooch raha tha. “Us kameene ne meri Ammi ko kiss kiya mere saamne… aur main chup-chaap washroom chala gaya? Ek shabd bhi nahi bola? Kya main itna namard hoon?”

Lekin jaise-jaise sochta gaya, dimag mein wahi scene repeat hone laga. Restaurant ka corner table. Akash Ammi ke bilkul paas. Ammi ki aankhein band. Aur phir… Ammi khud aage badh kar Akash ke honton par apne hont rakh deti hain. Woh chhota sa, hesitant kiss.

Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga. Aur sabse buri baat — mere lund mein ek ajab si harkat hone lagi. Woh dheere-dheere sakht hone laga.

“Na… nahi… yeh kya ho raha hai?” main ghutne ki awaaz mein bola.

Main neeche haath le gaya aur usse dabane ki koshish ki, par yeh aur zyada khada ho gaya. Dimag mein sirf Ammi ka laal padta chehra aur Akash ke hont ghum rahe the. Main apne aap se nafrat kar raha tha, par sharir sun nahi raha tha.

“Harami hoon main… apni Ammi ke baare mein aisa soch raha hoon?”

Main ne ghussa aa kar apne hard lund par zor se mukka mar diya. Dard se meri aankh se aansu nikal aaye, par woh khada hona band nahi hua. Ek aur mukka maara. Phir bhi kuch nahi hua. Finally main ne chaadar muh par daal li aur zor-zor se saans lete hue sochne laga — “Bas… bas ab so ja Idris… yeh sab bhool ja.”

Bahut der tak karvat badalte hue main neend ke aagosh mein chala gaya.

Agla din college mein Akash mujhse milne aaya. Uska chehra normal tha, jaise kal kuch hua hi na ho.

“Idris, sun… boards nazdeek aa rahe hain. Main ab tere paas nahi aa paunga padhane. Tu ab kaafi improve ho gaya hai. Ab khud se momentum maintain kar lena.”

Main uski baat sun kar andar se khushi se jhoom utha. Jaise koi bojh dil se utar gaya ho. Kal raat ka woh kiss, woh sab… sab khatam ho jayega.

“Shukriya bhai… sach mein bahut shukriya,” main muskurate hue bola. “Main try karunga.”

Akash ne sirf sar hilaya aur chale gaya. Us din pura din main bahut halka mehsoos kar raha tha. Jaise ek bura sapna khatam ho gaya ho.

Shaam ko ghar aaya toh 5:30 baje Ammi drawing room mein baar-baar ghadi dekh rahi thi. Unka chehra thoda pareshan tha. 5:50 tak jab Akash nahi aaya toh unhone finally mujhse poocha, “Idris… Akash aaj nahi aaya? Koi baat hui thi kya?”

Main ne unki taraf dekha. Unki aankhon mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi.

“Woh… boards ki taiyari kar raha hai. Ab nahi aa payega,” main ne casually bola.

Ammi ka chehra ek pal ke liye udas ho gaya. Woh kuch seconds chup rahi, phir dheere se boli, “Achha…”

Unka yeh ‘Achha’ itna halka tha ki lag raha tha unhone khud ko sambhalne ki koshish ki ho. Main ne notice kiya — unki aankhein thodi si nam si ho gayi thi.

Main andar se dukh bhi mehsoos kar raha tha, par saath hi ek badi si rahat bhi. Akash ab nahi aayega. Sab theek ho jayega.

Phir Ammi ne baat badli, “Lekin beta… ab uske bina tera padhai ka kya hoga? Woh itna achha padhata tha. Tu phir se peeche na chhoot jaaye.”

Main ne kuch nahi kaha. Sirf sar hila diya.

Raat ko khane ke time Ammi ne Abbu ko sab bata diya. Abbu thoda concerned hue, par unhone bhi accept kar liya. “Theek hai… Akash ko bhi apni padhai karni hai. Idris ab theek ho gaya hai. Khud se manage kar lega. Hum umeed karte hain.”

Agla kuch din bahut mushkil guzre.

Meri purani aadatein wapas laut aayi thi. 10 minute padhta, phir 1 ghanta so jata. Kabhi phone utha leta, kabhi porn videos dekhne lagta. Dimag bilkul control mein nahi tha. Har baar padhne baithta toh kuch der baad Ammi ka woh kiss wala scene ya Akash ki muskaan yaad aa jati. Concentration zero ho chuka tha.

Main khud se lad raha tha, par haar raha tha.

Ek shaam, jab dimag bahut zyada heavy ho gaya, mujhe Akash ki purani baat yaad aa gayi — “Kabhi-kabhi fresh air mein bahar nikal liya kar, dimag refresh ho jata hai.”

Main utha aur park ki taraf chal pada.

Park mein thodi der ghumta raha. Thandi hawa chal rahi thi. Bench par baith gaya. Dimag thoda shaant hone laga tha. Soch raha tha ki ab wapas ghar chalte hain.

Tabhi nazar park ke kone mein padi.

Wahan Chand baitha tha — akash ka woh sadakchaap lafua dost. Apne purane blue jeans aur tight black t-shirt mein. Woh mobile par baat kar raha tha aur zor-zor se hans raha tha. Uski hansi door tak sunai de rahi thi.

Main ne turant nazar ghuma li. Usko ignore karne ki koshish ki. Utha aur wapas jaane laga.

Lekin tabhi uski awaaz aayi —

“Arre Idris! Ruk toh saale!”

Main ruk gaya. Peeche mud kar dekha — Chand mobile side mein rakh chuka tha aur seedha meri taraf badh raha tha.

Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 15




Tabhi meri nazar aage ki taraf gayi.

Chand.

Woh dheere dheere meri taraf aa raha tha. Haath mein cigarette thi aur uske chehre par wohi purani si muskurahat thi. Jaise woh mujhe dhoondh raha ho.

Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga. Main turant uth khada hua. Nazar neeche kiye hue main jaldi se peeth mod kar chal pada. “Nahi… nahi dekhna usko. Ignore kar. Jaise kuch suna hi nahi.”

“Arre Idris! Ruk toh saale!”

Chand ki awaaz peeche se aayi. Main aur tez chal pada. Pair bhaari lag rahe the lekin main rukna nahi chahta tha.

Lekin usne mujhe pakad liya.

Piche se usne mera haath pakad kar mujhe rok liya. Zor se nahi, lekin itna ki main ruk gaya. Main palat kar uski taraf dekha.

“Kahan bhaag raha hai yaar?” usne kaha, cigarette muh se nikaalte hue. “Main hi toh hoon. Itna darr kyun raha hai?”

Maine koi jawab nahi diya. Nazar uske peeche ki taraf thi. Dil mein ek hi cheez ghoom rahi thi — us din ki woh gandi baat. “Saali ka gaand dekh… mil jaye toh khod ke chhod dun.” Wohi lafz mere kaanon mein goonj rahe the.

“Woh… maths ka paper… thoda tough tha na?” maine dheere se bola. Awaaz mein koi jaan nahi thi. Bas baat aage badhane ke liye kuch bhi bol diya.

Chand ne halka sa hans diya. “Haan yaar, thoda tough tha. Lekin tu toh Akash ke saath padhta tha na? Usne kuch nahi bataya kya?”

Main chup raha. Nazar uske chehre par nahi ja rahi thi.

Phir Chand ne achanak kaha, “Chal yaar… garmi lag rahi hai. Sprite peete hain.”

Maine uski taraf dekha. Thoda hairaan tha lekin kuch nahi bola. Chand ne mera haath pakda aur seedha us taraf chal pada jahan chhoti si dukaan thi.

Dukaan par Chand ne do Sprite ki bottles maangi. Ek mujhe de di. Dusri apne haath mein le li. Main uski taraf ghuma aur thodi der tak usko hi ghurta raha. Uske chehre par, uski aankhon mein, uske honton par.

Phir maine apni bottle kholi aur ek saans mein pi ne laga. Achanak ek zor ka khansi ka jhatka aaya. Main jhuk gaya. Aankhein paani se bhar gayi.

“Arre yaar!” Chand ne turant mera kandha pakda aur peeth par thapkiyan dene laga. “Dheere pi na! Itna jaldi kyun?” Usne apni bottle se thoda paani mere muh mein daala. “Pee le… dheere se.”

Main dheere dheere saans lene laga. Khansi ruk gayi. Chand abhi bhi mere kandhe par haath rakhe hue tha.

“Haan… theek ho gaya,” maine dheere se kaha.

Hum dono usi dukaan ke saamne wale chhote se bench par baith gaye. Chand ne apni cigarette bujha di aur poocha, “college ka scene kaisa chal raha hai? Akash ab aata nahi kya ghar?”

Maine uski taraf dekha. Aaj uski awaaz mein koi tezpan nahi tha. Koi ganda mazak nahi.

“Haan… boards ki taiyari kar raha hai. Ab nahi aata,” maine kaha.

Chand ne sar hilaya. “Achha hai yaar. Tu khud se manage kar lega.”

Phir usne poocha, “Bata na… Akash ke saath padhai ka experience kaisa tha? Woh toh bahut tez tha na samjhaane mein?”

Main thoda ruk gaya lekin phir bola, “Haan… strict tha lekin samjhaata achha tha. Bahut mehnat karta tha. Bas thoda impatient tha kabhi-kabhi.”

Chand ne sir hilaya. “Haan yaar, woh aisa hi hai. Lekin dil ka achha ladka hai.”

Hum dono Sprite khatam karke uth gaye. Ab hum ground ki taraf chal rahe the. Baatein chal rahi thi — college, teachers, kuch random cheezein. Pehle jaisa koi tension nahi tha. Chand ne mujhe ek aur cigarette offer ki, is baar zor se nahi, bas muskurate hue.

“Nahi yaar, main nahi leta,” maine kaha aur pehli baar uske saamne halka sa smile kar diya.

Chand hans pada. “Theek hai yaar. Tu apni marzi se jee. Phir milte hain kabhi?”

Main sir hilaya. “Haan… milte hain.”

Woh apni bike ki taraf chala gaya aur main ghar ki taraf.

Raste bhar dimag mein sirf ek hi baat chal rahi thi — aaj Chand itna normal kyun tha? Itna… nice?

Ghar pahunch kar main seedha apne kamre mein chala gaya. Darwaza andar se lock kiya aur bistar par let gaya. Aankhein band ki.

Aaj ka din baar baar aankhon ke saamne aa raha tha. Chand ka peeth thapthapana, uska paani dena, uski normal baatein, uska “dil ka achha ladka hai” wala comment.

Main soch raha tha — shayad main galat soch raha tha uske baare mein. Shayad woh sirf Akash ke saath ganda mazak karta tha. Shayad asal mein woh itna bura nahi hai.

Lekin phir bhi… us din ki woh gandi baat mere dimag se nahi ja rahi thi.

Main palat kar bistar par let gaya aur chaadar muh par kheench li.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 16




Boards ab sirf kuch hafte door the.

Har taraf se pressure badh raha tha. college mein teachers roz assembly mein chillate the, “Last chance hai beta, ab serious ho jao.” Ghar mein Ammi subah-shaam yaad dilati thi. Abbu bhi kabhi-kabhi newspaper ke peeche se sirf itna bol dete, “Padh le Idris… ab bacha nahi hai tu.”

Main har roz ek naya plan banata tha. Aaj raat ko 2 ghante maths, 1 ghanta science, phir thoda revision. Table par saari books khol kar baithta, timer laga deta, paani ka glass side mein rakhta. Pehle 5-10 minute toh theek se padhta bhi tha. Phir aankhein bhari jaati. Dimag so jata. Kitab ke pages se sirf Akash ki purani tez awaaz sunai deti — “Arre yeh basic formula bhi nahi yaad?”

Aur phir haath apne aap mobile ki taraf badh jata.

Pehle bas 2 minute ke liye. Phir 10 minute. Phir pura ghanta. Kabhi-kabhi toh raat ke 2 baje tak mobile haath mein rehta. Normal porn, desi aunty, teacher-student, step-mom, college girl — har type ka. Kuch bhi chal raha tha. Padhai ki jagah raat bhar yahi chalta rehta. Subah uth kar aankhein soojhi hui hoti, sar bhari rehta aur phir wahi purana guilt.

Ek raat jab main aise hi scroll kar raha tha, ek naya video aaya — bully milf. college ka bully ghar aata hai, maa ko corner mein push karta hai, uski salwar khinchta hai aur zor-zor se chodta hai. Beta kamre ke darwaze ke peeche chhup kar sab dekh raha hota hai. Beta kuch nahi kar paata. Bas dekhta rehta hai aur uska lund khada ho jata hai.

Pehli baar jab maine woh scene dekha — bully maa ke peeche se dhakke maar raha tha aur maa moan kar rahi thi “Haan beta… aur zor se…” — mera dimag ek second ke liye freeze ho gaya.

Screen par maa ka chehra badal gaya. Woh Ammi ban gayi. Aur bully… Akash.

Maine jhat se mobile lock kar diya. Dil zor se dhadak raha tha. Haath kaanp rahe the. “Nahi… yeh galat hai… bahut galat hai,” maine khud se bola. Mobile side mein phenk diya aur bistar par let gaya. Lekin neend door thi. Dimag mein wohi scene baar-baar aa raha tha.

Us raat ke baad bhi porn ruk nahi paya. Har din padhai ka plan fail hota. 2 ghante ka target… sirf 5-10 minute sachchi padhai… baaki sab neend ya mobile. Confidence jo Akash ke time thoda sa jaga tha, woh phir se dheere-dheere mar raha tha. Main wapas usi purane Idris ban raha tha — 12 marks wala, corner seat wala, akela wala.

Ek shaam dimag bahut zyada bhari ho gaya.

“Bas… thoda sa fresh air le aata hoon,” maine khud se kaha. “Clear mind ho jayega, phir ghar aakar padhunga.”

Main utha aur bahar nikal gaya.

Pehle kuch din toh main akela hi park mein baitha rehta. Phir kabhi-kabhi Chand milne laga.

Kabhi main market se guzar raha hota, paan wale ke dukaan ke paas woh cigarette pi raha hota. Kabhi idhar-udhar ground ke kisi corner mein. Kabhi main baithta aur woh aata. Roz nahi, bas kabhi-kabhi. Har baar baatein normal rehti. college, boards, cricket. Chand koi ganda mazak nahi karta. Bas normal baatein. Woh kabhi kabhi hasa deta. Main bhi dheere-dheere khulne laga tha.

Lekin har baar ghar laut kar kamre mein lette hi woh purana lafz phir se aa jata — “Saali ka gaand dekh… mil jaye toh khod ke chhod dun.” Aur phir mobile uth jata. Porn. Har type ka.

Boards ke din nazdeek aate ja rahe the aur main padhai ki jagah roz bahar nikal raha tha. Ammi ko bahana achha lag raha tha. Woh khud bhi ab thodi busy rehti thi — ghar ka kaam, kabhi-kabhi phone par kisi se baat. Main notice karta tha ki uska chehra ab pehle jaisa nahi tha. Kabhi kabhi woh Akash ka naam bhi le leti thi… dheere se.

Ek shaam main market se guzar raha tha. Paan wale ke dukaan ke paas Chand khada tha. Usne mujhe dekh liya aur muskurate hue haath uthaya.

“Arre Idris! Idhar aa.”

Main ruk gaya. Uske paas chala gaya.

Chand ne mera kandha pakda aur dheere se bola, “Yaar tu itna akela kyun ghum raha hai? Chal ladkiyan tadte hain.”

Maine kuch nahi bola. Bas muskurane ki koshish ki.

Chand hans pada. Uski awaaz ab thodi alag thi — purana wahi chapri tone.

“Dekh saale, woh wali dekhi? Red top mein… kitni tight gaand hai be. Tad le properly.” Woh ek ladki ki taraf ishaara karta aur mujhe zor se dhakel deta. “Arre aankh mat jhuka… seedha dekh. Kitni mast hai yaar.”

Main chup raha. Dil zor se dhadak raha tha.

Chand ne aur kareeb aakar dheere se kaha, “Aur agar ladkiyan pasand nahi aa rahi toh bata… teri ammi jaisi mature maal bhi tad sakta hoon. Bahut tight aur garam hoti hai woh log. Tu bas dekhna chahega kya?”

Uske muh se “teri ammi jaisi” sunte hi mera pura badan sakht ho gaya. Woh purana ganda comment phir se kaanon mein goonj utha.

Main kuch bol nahi paya. Sirf sar jhuka liya.

Chand zor se hans pada aur mera kandha thapthapaya.

“Arre tension mat le yaar… mazak kar raha tha. Lekin sach bata… tu bhi toh apni ammi ko dekh ke kabhi sochta hoga na? Bol na… sach bol.”

Main wahan khada tha. Raat ka andhera cha gaya tha. Chand ki hansi door tak goonj rahi thi.

Aur main… kuch nahi bol pa raha tha.

[xxxhjbxxx]

Chapter - 17




Us din ke baad Chand se milne ka silsila aur badh gaya tha.

Pehle kabhi-kabhi milta tha, ab har shaam. Kabhi paan wale ke dukaan ke paas, kabhi park ke bench par, kabhi market ke peeche wale khali ground mein. Main bahar nikalne ka bahana banata — “Ammi, thoda fresh air le aata hoon” — aur seedha uski taraf chala jata.

Ek shaam paan wale ke dukaan ke saamne bench par baith kar main chup-chaap baitha tha. Chand cigarette pi raha tha. Maine dheere se bola,

“Yaar Chand… boards sirf kuch hafte baki hain. Main din bhar plan banata hoon — 2 ghante maths, 1 ghanta science — lekin 10 minute baad dimag band ho jata hai. Kuch samajh nahi aa raha. Bahut dar lag raha hai… agar fail ho gaya toh ghar mein kya hoga, soch bhi nahi sakta.”

Chand ne ek gehra kas lagaya aur dhuaan chhodte hue bola, “Arre tension mat le yaar. Sab theek ho jayega.”

Maine sar hilaya. “Nahi yaar… relax karne ka mann karta hai. Dimag bilkul thak gaya hai. Kuch aisa chahiye jo thoda sa sukoon de de.”

Chand ne mujhe dekha aur muskuraya. “Relax karne ka sabse best tarika bataun?”

Main uski taraf dekha.

“Ganja,” usne casually bola. “Ek joint laga le. Saari tension udd jayegi. Dimag shaant ho jayega. Neend bhi achhi aayegi.”

Maine turant sar hila diya. “Nahi yaar… main cigarette bhi nahi pita. Yeh sab nahi.”

Chand hans pada. “Theek hai bhai, apni marzi.”

Lekin uske baad kuch din bahut mushkil guzre.

Main roz padhai ki koshish karta. Timer lagata, books kholta… lekin 10 minute baad wahi haal. Har raat Chand ka woh suggestion dimag mein ghumta rehta — “Ganja… saari tension udd jayegi.”

Teesre din shaam ko main phir uske paas pahunch gaya. Dil bahut bhari tha.

Maine dheere se bola, “Yaar… woh jo tune kaha tha… ganja… ek baar try kar sakta hoon kya?”

Chand ka chehra khil utha. “Smart ladka! Chal aaj hi try karte hain. Mere room chalta hai.”

Woh mujhe apne ghar le gaya. Chhota sa ganda single room tha — ek purana single bed, zameen par bikhre kapde, diwar par cigarette ke daag, aur ek chhoti si khidki se bhi hawa nahi aa rahi thi. Kamra puri tarah se badbudar aur ganda tha.

Chand ne darwaza band kiya, bed par baith gaya aur ek chhoti si packet nikali. Usne expertly joint banaya, sulgaya aur pehle ek kas laga kar mujhe de diya.

“Le… dheere se. Zyada mat kheench.”

Maine pehli baar try kiya. Pehla kas laga toh gala jala, khansi aayi. Chand ne peeth thapthapayi aur hans pada. “Dheere dheere yaar… ab doosra kas le.”

Maine doosra kas lagaya.

Aur phir… sab kuch dheere-dheere slow ho gaya.

Dimag bilkul shaant ho gaya. Saari tension, saare dar, saari padhai ki chinta… sab udd gayi. Main bed par let gaya. Chand kuch bol raha tha lekin mujhe sirf uski awaaz door-door se aa rahi thi.

Phir sab black ho gaya.

Jab aankh khuli toh raat ke 1 baje the. Main 6-7 ghante tak soya hua tha. Dimag itna relaxed tha jaise kabhi pehle hua hi nahi. Sharir halka, sukoon bhara. Jaise koi bojh utar gaya ho.

Lekin ghar pahunchte hi sab badal gaya.

Gate khulte hi Ammi aur Abbu dono hall mein khade the. Ammi ki aankhein laal thi, ro rahi thi. Abbu ka chehra laal ho raha tha gusse se.

“Idris! Kahan tha tu itni raat tak?!” Abbu chillaye. “Humne poore area mein dhoondha! security officer bhi aayi thi ghar pe! Tujhe pata hai kitni der se tujhe dhoondh rahe the?”

Ammi ro-rote boli, “Beta… hum soch rahe the kuch ho gaya… phone bhi band tha… tu kahan mar gaya tha?”

Abbu ne aur tez awaaz mein daanta, “Ab yeh naya drama shuru kiya hai? Padhai chhod kar raat bhar ghumne lag gaya hai? Kal se ghar se bahar nikalne ki himmat mat karna!”

Main sirf chup-chaap khada tha. Unke chillane, unka gussa, unki pareshani… sab sun raha tha. Lekin andar kuch alag ho raha tha.

Mera dimag bilkul shaant tha. Koi dar nahi. Koi guilt nahi. Bas ek gehra sukoon.

Unke daantne ke baad main apne kamre mein chala gaya. Darwaza band kiya, bistar par let gaya aur aankhein band kar li.

Aur pehle ki tarah neend door-door tak nahi thi… balki is baar main ek pal mein gehri neend mein so gaya.

Jaise ek baby so raha ho.