Misc. Erotica My Transformation to Kanika

[Celebrorn]

My Transformation to Kanika 

(How I became a Sissy Bride)

Chapter 1

I still vividly remember the day. It was quite hot outside, and I wanted to peel off the extra layer of clothes I had on as soon as I got home. I had been wearing extra layer of clothes lately to hide the changes my body had begun to show. I was thinking, maybe if I could find some alone time I would try out some new clothes my friend Riya bought for me. She was the only one that really understood me.

As soon as I entered the house, something seemed unusual. Everyone was huddled together in the living room. Papa, Mummy and my elder brother, Vishal. I was surprised, they are never all there together at this time. Anyway, they would not care about me any way, so I could head straight to my room.

As I passed them with my head lowered, Papa’s stern voice called out to me - Kanak… I mean Kanika… Come here…

I froze and thought to myself, what is up with him today? He never uses that name.

I dragged myself back to the living room and looked at mom, her face slightly concerned. She was the only one in the house who still cared about me.

Papa - Listen, I wanted to tell you something.

Me - I am listening…

Papa - You know Raj Uncle na?

I didnt know why he was asking me this. Raj Uncle was dad’s close friend who lived in another city, and was here every few months since forever. Sometimes ever more. He always spoke very nicely to me and seemed interested in finding out what I was upto.

Me - Yes… obviously…

Papa - He will be here this evening.

My tone was becoming rude - Ughhhhh, Is that why you called me?

Papa got slightly angry - Don’t you use that tone with me!

Vishal laughed and said under his breath - Maybe it’s that time of the month where they are not in control of their emotions… hehehe.

I looked angrily at Vishal, four years older than me, he has always been the pride of the family. Excellent at studies and sports, had a good friend circle and now a beautiful girlfriend for the last few years. Just finished his MBA and had a couple of job offers lined up.

Me - Very funny Vishal… but I think you missed a biology class or two…

Vishal was always quickly offended when I gave him a retort and tried to jump at me but mom stopped him - You are the one that doesn’t know anything about biology, born with a penis and thinking you are a girl!

Dad shouted in between - Enough! Kanika, you need to get dressed for this evening. Mom will help you. Raj has said his mom will also be coming and she doesn’t understand all this too well. So we want everything to look... proper.

I was still confused, did I miss something here - What you are talking about? Why do I need to get dressed for them?

Dad looked at mom as if asking her to explain what was going on. Or being unable to say what was on his mind.

Mom opened her mouth for the first time, her eyes worried and voice hesitant - Beta… Raj Uncle has expressed interest in a marriage proposal for you...

I quickly sprung back a bit and my voice became louder - WHAT!! Are you joking or something?! Marriage proposal for me?

Dad's mask of patience was gone - No! We are not! We have tolerated you long enough and with this proposal being offered, we have decided it’s best for you and us! We are taking it.

I had anger and fear mixed in my eyes - Do you know what you are saying, I am just 20, haven’t even finished college and you are talking about marrying me off to your OLD friend!

Dad stood up to over shadow me and drown out my voice - Listen you…. You live in my house and I will decide what happens to you! So get your bubbly ass in your room and start getting ready. Sudha… take him… her inside…

Mom didn’t need to do that as I quickly ran inside.

My hormones felt all out of whack as tears rolled down my cheek. What was going on here! Little did I know then my whole life was going to change forever from here.

[Celebrorn]

Chapter 2

My face collapsed on the pillow in my bed, as the tears on my face soaked the fabric. I closed my eyes as I sobbed and the exhaustion of the day and situation put me right to sleep in a few minutes.

Even in my sleep I felt this anger towards my dad. His refusal to understand me and stand by me always made me feel ashamed of myself. And now this, another solution meant to fix me, or perhaps get rid of me altogether.

I don’t know how long I slept before I felt a hand gently stroking my hair, and a soft voice calling out my name - Kanika… Kanika… get up…

A year ago, I had requested my family to call me Kanika at home. My brother had laughed, choking on his food as he mocked me, while Dad had responded with familiar anger. Only Mom understood what it meant to me.

Mom knew I liked that name for some time, and she had lovingly called me that for a while before that. It was the perfect and only choice for my birth name Kanak. Sometimes I think that I was named Kanak, so that I could become Kanika one day.

Mom - Kanikaaaa… get up… It’s getting late. Raj Uncle and his mom would be coming in an hour.

I opened one eye, the memory of why I had been crying rushing back all at once - Mom… what is this nonsense… and how can you let Dad do this to me!

I muttered and pulled the blanked over my face to avoid looking at her.

Mom was sitting besides me - Kanika, listen to me… please…

Me - What is there to listen to?

Mom said gently - You are not getting married today… just think of it like a family meeting. Someone just coming to meet you.

I quickly protested - But I don’t want to meet anyone.

Mom’s voice started to get serious - That’s unfair… you said you felt like a girl and wanted to transition to being a girl. I supported you in all of that. Now meeting boys for marriage is part of being a girl. So get up… and start getting dressed.

Me - But he is not a BOY… he is a man… an OLD man.

Mom - Look… we will talk about it later… but for now just have this meeting… and then we will figure it out.

As Mom tried to remove my blanket I was thrashing around in bed.

I looked at Mom and she smiled at me.

Mom - You know what the good part about all of this is?

I frowned - What??

Mom - You get to put on one of my new sarees. I know how you love to try on my sarees and I always say no. But today I will let you pick one. And I'll also do your makeup. No one will say anything.

Somehow the idea of being able to freely wear Mom’s sarees and makeup and walk around in the house made it sound very appealing, and softened my resistance.

I grudingly sat up as mom quickly laid out some sarees on the bed in front of me. They all looked very pretty to me and it was really hard to pick one. 

I didn’t know much about sarees. I nervously asked - Would they even fit me?

Mom laughed gently - Yes… Sarees fit everyone. It’s the blouse and petticoat that need to be tailored for each person.

Me - Ok… would you even have a blouse that fits me?

Mom - Hmmm… let me see… I don’t know your size. But we can try putting on one to check. Stand up…

I slowly got up from the bed and stood up in front of the mirror in my room, with mom standing next to me.

Mom pulled the sleeves of my two tshirts indicating to remove them - Can you?

I hesitatingly grabbed my tshirts from the bottom end and pulled it above my head to remove them. I hadn’t been topless in front of mom for a while now, maybe a couple of years.

Seeing my chest my mom let out a quick gasp - Oh my!!! I didn’t know you were…

I looked at myself in the mirror. There was more than a clear hint of boobs on my chest… I was closer to a B cup than a A cup at this point. Ever since I starting taking Estrogen oills a couple of years ago, my body had started transforming rapidly. My waist was bending inwards at the middle of my body and then wider hips as it curved down. My flat tummy made my curves look even more accentuated.

Mom covered her face with her hands - Wow… you are pretty inside…

Mom looking at me and saying that made me extremely shy - Mommmm… stop it na…

Mom laughed and looked at my boobs closely - Ok Ok… let me see… If I had to guess, you are somewhere between - 30B and 32B right now… just the size I was when I got married. I think I have some of my old blouses stored up. They should fit you perfectly.

Mom quickly ran out of the room, opening the door slightly and closing it firmly as she went outside, like someone would do while their daughter was getting dressed.

I looked in the mirror as she left the room, proudly looking at how far I had come along. There were still some tiny hairs on my chest, but I made sure I used hair removal cream on them regularly and since using the Estrogen gel capsules the hair growth had been slower.

As I cupped my boobs feeling them gently, I felt the door open and my hands quickly dropped back down.

Mom looked excited - Here… I found one that would go perfectly with this saree.

Mom hung up the blouse in front of me, and it did look in great condition for something that had been around for a long time.

Mom - Do you want to put on your bra first?

My cheeks became red when she said that. I didn’t realize she knew I wore bras. I didn’t have the courage to buy them myself so I had asked my friend Riya to buy some training bra’s and sports bra for me. I just had one real bra which she gave me last week which I hadnt tried on yet.

Mom seemed to know exactly where they were as she pointed to the drawers - Go on… quickly… get them out…

I opened my drawers and pulled out the bras I had and placed them on the bed. Mom had a quick look at them at instinctively picked the new bra with the floral patterns on it.

Mom tore off its price tag as she handed it over to me - This one…

I held the new bra and placed it on my boobs and slid my hands through the straps. I had never worn one which required to be hooked from the back and reached out my hands behind to hook it.

I couldn’t quite figure out how to make the hooks line up and struggled with it. Seeing me struggle mom pulled the two straps closer together and guided my hand to help fasten it.

I looked in the mirror, the bra cups rested nicely on top of my small boobs, not too tight, not too loose. Before I could admire my fit any further mom had placed the blouse on my hands and started pulling it up.

Mom - No time to waste now… lets rush things. I will teach you all this later.

Before I knew it Mom had taken things under control and was fastening the hooks of the blouse. It was slightly loose but still not a terrible fit.

Mom asked me to take off my pants, and held the petticoat down as I put my hands on her shoulder to insert my legs into it, while wearing my briefs.

I took a deep breath, now just the saree remained. Or so I thought, unaware that this was the start of a long transformation journey.
 

[Celebrorn]

Chapter 2 (cont)

Mom had just finished wrapping my saree around my legs and was now carefully making the pleats. Watching her hands move with such ease, I wondered how she made something so complicated look effortless. I had tried wearing a saree on my own before, once or twice when the house was empty, but it had always ended in a hopeless mess. Folding it back up afterward had been so frustrating that I had not dared to try again.

I glanced at myself in the mirror. I had inherited my mother’s fair skin, and against the dark blouse and petticoat, my neck and midriff appeared even lighter. As I turned slightly to see my side profile, Mom gently scolded me.

Mom - Kanikaaa… stand straight and don’t move. It’s hard enough tying a saree on someone else.

I smiled and did as I was told, almost forgetting what awaited me later that evening.

Mom held the saree pleats firmly in her hand and tucked them inside the petticoat securely, her hand going inside the petticoat as she did that. I felt a bit embarrassed, after all I still had a penis, and what if it touched Mom’s hand.

But luckily nothing like that happened. Mom quickly adjusted the pallu, dbanging it neatly over my shoulder and down my back. Then she stepped back, studying me.

How does that look? - She said, half to herself.

Me - Ummm… I think there is a big problem…

Mom - What problem??? The saree looks good to me…

I sounded frustrated - The saree is perfect… but look at my hair. I still don’t look like a girl with my short hair.

Mom - Oh! I almost forgot. Stay right there. 

I stood there waiting impatiently, the door slightly open now. Mom quickly rushed back inside with a polybag in her hand.

She pulled out a wig from the bag and took it out of its packaging - Here… Your dad got this for yesterday.

Oh! - I let out a short gasp.

I was surprised that Dad got this for me, he never encouraged any of this. This evening, clearly, had been planned far in advance than I was told.

Mom put the mesh on the head first and then fixed the hair on top of the mesh. I looked at myself in the mirror, long hairs flowing from the top, going over my cheeks and reaching down below till my boobs. This is everything I always wanted to look like. I was looking just like a girl.

Mom put her head of my shoulder from behind and looked at me in the mirror.

She softly said - You know… I always wanted a girl as my second one… I know I shouldn’t say this, but I felt so disappointed when you were born as a boy. 

 looked into Mom’s eyes through the mirror, not knowing what she was going to say next.

Mom - But now… I feel I got the daughter that I always dreamed of.

My eyes watered up a little. This moment felt so special.

Just then to spoil the moment, the doorbell rang and I heard Vishal open the door a few seconds later and voices echoed through the house as guests arrived.

Mom panicked and pulled me toward the mirror, her hands moving faster than her thoughts. She cleansed my face, smoothed on foundation, brushed a hint of blush onto my cheeks, traced my eyes with careful strokes, and finished with a swipe of lipstick. Doing all of this while murmuring instructions I barely understood. I was seriously in awe of my Mom doing this so well.

As a final touch, she pressed a small bindi onto my forehead. I had never worn makeup before, but when she finally stepped back, I barely recognized the girl staring back at me, shy, glowing, and suddenly ready for a future I had not imagined.

Dad peeked into the room and gave me a quick glance. His eyes seemed to linger on me for more than a few seconds.

Dad then addressed Mom - Sudha… hurry up… they have been here for 10 minutes now.

Mom gave him a sharp look - It takes time for a girl to get ready. I am sure you know that well, and I am sure they would understand it as well. Let them wait. She will come when she is ready.

Dad looked frustrated but didn’t want to upset Mom any further. He closed the door and left.

Mom gently held my shoulders - Don’t worry, men always like to rush us. But a lady should always take her time to look her best.

Mom slipped a thin gold necklace around my neck, added bangles to my wrists, and a ring to my finger. She studied me one last time and smiled.

Mom - You look so pretty… muaahh…

She gently kissed my head. She dabbed a small mark of kajal at the back of my neck - To ward off the evil eye! Now you just sit here, and I will come and get you in a few minutes.

As mom walked out and I was waiting nervously in my room, I felt like the whole room had turned extremely cold and my whole body was trembling uncontrollably. 

All I could think of was - What will the people outside see when they see me? Will they recognize me as a boy dressed up in girl’s clothing or genuinely think I am a girl?

[Celebrorn]

Chapter 3


I could hear loud laughter from outside, loud men laughing really hard. Laughter that I wasn't a part of always made me nervous, because my mind immediately assumed the worst - that they were laughing at me. Maybe when I stepped out, they would all ridicule me together for daring to dress like this. Maybe this was all an elaborate plan to humiliate me. Why else would a man want to marry me?

I heard steps coming towards the room, and my heart was racing fast. The door opened and it was mom, which calmed my nerves slightly.

Mom held me by the shoulder and gently pulled me to my feet - Come... they're ready for you now.

She looked into my nervous eyes, which seemed like could cry at the slightest provocation. She tried to calm me - It's will all go well. Just speak a bit quietly and keep your eyes lowered. If you feel nervous or afraid, just look at me. All of my focus will be on you.

I nodded as she led me outside. 

I couldn't believe that I was going out like this in my house in front of everyone... to meet a MAN I might get married to. That was definitely not how I thought my day would unfold when I woke up this morning.

As I entered into the living room of our house, I could hear some quiet gasps of disbelief. I wasn't sure who they came from, but I felt every pair of eyes locked on me, even though I kept my gaze lowered.

My mom smiled and calmly announced - Here's Kanika... finally ready.

I heard an older woman's warm voice - She's beautiful, like an angel. Looks just like you Sudha, just younger.

That must have been Raj Uncle's mother. Mom guided me forward and placed me beside her. The elderly woman gently took my hand and caressed it. I felt relieved that I had been paying a lot of attention to my nails and hands lately as they looked immaculately.

She turned to Raj and said - As always, your choice is excellent. She looks so innocent and sweet.

I was still looking down so couldn't see Raj Uncle's reaction, but I could feel butterflies in my stomach. He chose me, but why?

She asked me - Beta... you are in college?

I silently nodded as I kept looking down.

Raj's mother - And what are you studying?

My voice barely came out, it was almost a whisper - Bachelor's in Commerce... 3rd year...

Hearing my voice, she paused a bit - Her voice... sounds a bit... coarse..

Of course it did. No matter how much I practiced, my voice wasn’t as soft as a woman’s yet. If I had spoken any louder, she would have noticed something was off.

Dad quickly jumped to intervene - She has been sick over the last few days... sore throat...

Raj's mother - Oh I see... hmmm... can I ask a couple of personal questions if you don't mind?

No one raised any objections, so she took that as a yes and moved ahead - Do you have any boyfriends or male friends in college?

I shook my head and whispered - No...

Raj's mother - Any boyfriends in the past?

I once again said No.

A smile came across her face, as she said - Sudha... she is mine from today. Shall we fix the marriage date?

Mom was hesitating - But aunty... we haven't even...

Dad cut off Mom in between - Yes.. aunty ji... she is all yours now.

Raj's mother didn't seem to like my mom's question, her voice becoming a bit sharper - No, let Sudha ask her question... she wanted to ask something.

Mom's voice wavered even more - No... I... just... it's nothing...

Raj cleared his throat to say something - Uhhhmmm... Mummy... it's only natural for Sudha and Vijay to have questions. After all, you are asking for their precious daughter.

Raj's mother remained silent for a bit and then said - I thought you knew Raj well enough and that this was just a formality. But I guess, I should explain.

Raj's mother continued, her voice becoming emotional - You all know Anita... Raj's wife passed away some 13-14 years back. I asked him to remarry then, but he didn't want to remarry for Ananya's sake. He didn't want her to have a bad stepmother. He spent his youth alone, working and raising his daughter. It's hard for anyone to live such a life. 

Raj's mother started to tear up talking about this.

Raj came sat next to her - Mummy... it's ok...

Raj's mother wiped her tears - Let me finish... But now that Ananya has gone abroad for her studies, I feel he should reconsider his decision. We all know Ananya will settle abroad, and Raj will be left here all alone. Look at him, he is still young... 

Raj laughed lightly - Haha, I am not so sure about that... you should ask Sudha about it.

Raj's mother gave Raj an irritated look - Shut up! Look Sudha... I started looking for girls for him. There is no shortage of interest. He is handsome, fit, successful, wealthy. But... I don't want 30 plus, second hand used aunties for him.

I was listening to all of this, such was the hypocrisy of this woman. 30 plus ladies were "used aunties", and his 40 plus son was still a young man!

Raj's mother continued - We saw younger girl's too, some even younger than Kanika here. But... you know how girls are these days. They don't respect our culture, not virgins anymore and I feel they are just after his money. 

Obviously... times have changed grandma...

Raj's mother - Then last month, Raj mentioned your family, and how Vijay has maintained a sense of discipline at his home. It's then when I found out that you have a daughter. I never even knew you had a daughter.

My heart was beating fast again. I am not sure why Raj Uncle told his mother that I was a girl rather than a boy.

Raj's mother - I had to push him hard to talk to Vijay about this. Vijay... he knows you and Sudha since college days, and trusts you a lot. It's that trust that brought us here. Yes, there is an age difference, but beyond that there is nothing to say no to.

Raj tried to slow her down - Mummy... we should let Sudha and Vijay take time to decide this.

Dad - There is nothing to think about, it's a yes from our side.

Mom spoke up carefully - I think... maybe Kanika and Raj can have a chat first? Alone...

Raj's mother - Oh yes yes... She looks too shy to ask anything here in front of everyone. Feel comfortable to ask anything on you mind Kanika.

Mom - Absolutely... Kanika... Raj... please come...

I held my breath as I followed her. I could feel that Raj Uncle was right behind me. Mom led us to her room, which I was happy about, my room was a mess right now with getting dressed for this meeting. As we entered the room, mom stood at the door and the two of us walked inside.

Mom - I will leave it slightly opened, but you can talk freely. Raj... please make her feel comfortable to speak her mind.

Raj - Don't worry about it Sudha...

As mom was closing the door I quickly glanced up to the door, feeling extremely anxious about being left here alone with Raj Uncle. I looked towards him, as though I had never seen him before. But it was true that I had never really observed him this closely before. He was just one of dad's many friends that came to our house. But one that always seemed interested in me.

He was tall... much much taller than my 5'5. And as I quickly glanced at him, he didn't have a pot belly like dad, a fit body, well fitted pants and shining shoes. As I scanned upwards, he had a full head full of black hair, and nicely groomed facial hair. He looked older, but definitely not an old man. 

I scolded myself, why was I looking at him like that, I was never going to accept this marriage proposal.

Raj Uncle smiled at me said - Have a seat Kanika... it's your house after all.

My feet tried to move back towards the bed and having found the bed frame, I sat down. Raj Uncle grabbed a chair in the room, and sat directly opposite me. He was quietly looking at me, probably observing me the same way I was him.

Raj Uncle - So... how is college going? Are the classes still as boring as first year.

After the questions outside, that was not the first question I was expecting from him. I tried to find my voice - Uhhh... it's fine... you know...

I remembered how I liked sharing things with him when he came. Unlike other grown ups, he seemed to always want to keenly listen to me and ask questions about what was going on in my life.

Raj Uncle - I thought so, I am sure it's still a slog. Ummm.... firstly, I wanted to apologize on behalf of my mother for all of her questions outside.

Somehow I was able to speak more freely in front of him - No... it's ok...

Raj Uncle - That's kind of you. Do you understand the proposal that has been laid out? I want to make sure I have your consent before we moved forward with this.

It was again a surprising question. So far the adults in my house did not seem to care about my consent, and here is the man who supposedly proposed this whole thing, asking for my consent.

I was trying to find the right words - I... I understand it... but... I don't think I can...

Raj - It's totally normal to feel that way. The only reason I proposed this was that I always felt I could easily connect with you, and could see you as my life partner.

Oh god, he was being so direct. Has he even forgotten who I was?

Me - Uncle... you know... about me... right?

Raj - You can call me Raj. And yes, ofcourse... I know everything...

Me - And you still want to... marry me?

Raj - Yes, absolutely. With experience in life, you understand what truly matters in a life partner, more than anything else, ever more than things that are not in anyone's control.

I was looking at him, unsure of what to say next.

Raj - I know how challenging it must be for you, to not only try to understand the world, but also understand yourself. Can I ask one question?

Me - Yes...

Raj - Are you attracted towards a specific gender? Men or women... I can totally see it being confusing in your situation.

My friend Riya had asked me the same question the other day, and I had deflected it then. But I knew in my heart that somehow looking at a handsome strong boy made my knees go weak and heart flutter. I knew the answer to this question deep inside, but didn't know how to express it.

Me - Yes... it's a bit complicated... but... yes, I feel like a woman... a heterosexual woman.

There, that was perfect. I somehow found the right words to convey what I wanted to say.

Raj smiled at me and seemingly echoed my thoughts - That's perfect! Then there is no confusion at all. You are a woman, and you are attracted to men.

It felt so good when he said - you are a woman. Not "like a woman", but a woman. That's exactly who I was inside.

Raj - I can see already see you have made a lot of progress since we last met. The saree looks beautiful on you. 

I couldn't believe I was speaking my mind - Yes... but I think there is still things that need work.

Raj - Absolutely... and I will be fully supportive of you achieving those milestones. Not because I think you need fixing, but because I want you to feel confident. I think you are extremely beautiful as you are. 

What was this feeling that was tearing me up. Why was he being so nice to me?

Raj - You don't have to decide right now. I want you to be comfortable first. Let's complete your transition and you can decide after that.

I instinctively blurted out - But your mother?

Raj smiled - She is my problem to deal with...

I quietly whispered - I just need a bit of time to think... 

Raj - Absolutely... let's go out now... they must be waiting outside. I really enjoyed our conversation today.

Something in me made me quickly reply - Me too...

Raj stood up and waited for me, and we silently made our way out to the living room. There was a lot to unpack and inform, but I was going to let Raj do the talking.

Mom came near me and held me gently by my arm and whispered in my ear - That took time... and I could hear your voice too...

Was she spying on us the whole time. That made me feel not so good. 

Me - Yeah... it was just...

Raj quickly announced to the room - I spoke to Kanika... and I think its appropriate that we give her some time to think.

Dad grumbled as he said that, and Raj's mother seemed a bit unhappy too. A smile came across my face, it wasn't all quite what I had thought it would be. I wasn't just being pawned off to someone, it looked like I had a say in this.

Mom looked at me and hugged my shoulder, she seemed a bit relieved too - Let me setup the dinner... Kanika... come... help me please.

Mom dragged me away from the continuing discussion in the living room, which gave me some time to reflect on the whole thing without hearing conversation which would make me mad. This reflection would continue on to next week.