[heygiwriter]

Busness ia growing Niting and pream jad touched the skh limit one day while takinv drinks Pream vomint some thing which changed life of Nitin and Vani but there was new story started Nitin decided he will return same medicene to vani which she had. Forced him to take and Nitin decided to do same thing with non other then Vani own small sister let see if you can give a new shape to this stpry now its ball on your court

Interesting... basically Nitin revenging Vani.. Nice idea..

[heygiwriter]

Well , This is your story . Yes , You cannot satisfy every one . .


But After that informer introduce , The story tank . The sex was as Usual great no doubt , even better . The chemistry between Aadil and NIVI was best , The plot turning to each other was great but there was no pay off .

I mean the seriousness and tension was gone . Final arc which in I expected that husbands gonna find out the truth and it is their turn because Both Husbands started to dig , So the seriousness and tension was there ,leading towards Climax but once it was cleared that nope , the story just took another turn ,it kind of became stale , no high or low points . Like Flatline , four of them just playing each other . The characters also felt like cardboard . 

That is why the ending is so pathetic , and Then you went one step forward and ruined it further . 

Why did you even introduce VIKRAM ? One phone call from ROHAN and that character just vanished ?

The setup towards the end was great but it is the pay off which ruined the whole story and left bitter taste in mouth . 

At least it ended . PREM and NITIN two brain dead zombie husbands . Just even reading their part hurts my brain . So much stupidity .  It would have been better if they were out of equation whole time and wives should have handled the whole thing , and husbands just working in office . 

Again , I am not saying the ending is pathetic , It was good but only if you had not set up the plot . 

I mean the flow of story disturbed , it scattered everywhere ultimately leads to catastrophic ending . No satisfaction , No closure , I mean nothing No body loose Anything which is good in a way . Every one just get adjusted as equal . 

But after reading your comment , I thought why did you choose to end the story this way and I kind of know why . It was great move   (Just a hunch )

Well , Now it ends .




But again The story was great , Great Writing , Fast Updates , Eroticism was highlight of the story. Some of the best eroticism i have read specially Aadil and NIVI . 


Again Kudos to you .   

( Comments are for fun , Not Criticism of the story or writer )

Thanks for the honest feedback. The pay off is little uncertain.. As for Vikram character i guess he cannot do much as he didn't do anything when Aashika got affected he detached himself from Aashika after he knows about her affair. Him revenging for Aashika doesn't make sense. May be he was just satisfying his ego. But once he realize ladies are contested he know his limit and gets back.. he was just in better position because of his friendship to Rohan's wife family who can unplug him. As for the ladies they  crossed every boundaries.. painting them saint or turning them as good is joke after a point. The balanced way can be them taking back control. So i turned it like. Its a win between flaw vs Flaw.. Rohan & Aadhil Winning or  Nivi & Vani Winning.. Imagine Rohan and aadil winning it means the affair continues.. Prem and Nitin kept in cheating loop. Them splitting up with ladies are only way.. or them playing along with ladies and become a willing cuck.. As the characters are really good i didnt wanted them to face the humiliation and tweaked it.. i just don't want Prem and Nitin to face it at least in this  first part.. When the sex between ladies and Rohan-Aadhil increases the redemption arc gets decreases. It would again look overly dramatic or unreal.. Worst part in Rohan and Adhil winning is they wont even marry them..  So i made Nivi and Vani winning which will keep Prem and Nitin honors undisturbed.. They got their pride atleast to their husbands. And they have a measure finale in sex with their alter partners. This is most balanced ending i can give without disturbing any one.. and yes for one wishing more open ending will open up :)

[heygiwriter]

Thanks

[heygiwriter]

Involve daughter of nivi

Strictly no :) no space for kids in adult world

[heygiwriter]

To people who have send private message and here :)

Plan for Part 2 is on :) once the sketch is done may be when i get some space i will try to start it

[heygiwriter]

Now - this is the ideal endin....in fact,  the only ending needed.

Yes - The backdoor remains open forever.

I would instead go with Epilogue 2 and still this happens but now through husbands.. an idea not sure how it will goes yet to sketch.. planning to go to this strech

[heygiwriter]

All reconcile and a Happily ever after ending..Noooooooo

It could be happy for prem being happy about nivi need getting fullilled. 
Nivi she plays as per wish of Prem
Aadhil finally reconcile for affair.. 

This could be may be?

[heygiwriter]

I get it , Your explanation is fine for the story and ending . 

But , again , I dont agree with balanced ending thing . It would be much better Prem turning into willing cuckold than live his life under a lie . If Prem character was based on abusive husband or something bad characteristic , then this ending would have been  some what acceptable but this is overly dramatic or unreal   . You went to extreme at the end . .They knew the truth , You took us too close even when they were fighting inside the secret room , you pulled back hard . Complete 180 hahaha . 

Again I was not saying that I expected a good ending , The ending i expected based on written material , not on your mood hahaha which of course We as reader wont get to  know  what were going on in your mind at that time when you were writing . 

First I was thinking your were too sympathetic Towards Rohan character but nope I was wrong , You were sympathetic towards NIVI character , Whatever Rohan did , He did it for NIVI . Even at the end you turned the whole situation which was going against NIVI completely in her favor . She won at both front , Her family and Her affair . She won her husband trust , Her economic independency , and satisfied her sexual curiosity and found herself a lover . 

The title is wrong ( which i think you had said in your first story) . lol . The Mention of husband in the title made me think Prem as a central character, the way his character fleshed out at the starting the ending was pretty much expected but nope IT WAS NIVI , It's her story . So ending was in her favor is completely understandable , Prem is irrelevant here . So I think It does not matter if he lives rest of his life under complete lie with who does not even love him . He was a side character which settled most of things .

And again , When both of them finally got what they wanted , Why they did not leave ?, NIVI even confessed that she does not love Prem any more , Why did not she just leave ? She has her business , She found herself , Empowered then why stay in marriage ? 

This is will not be seen as redemption arc but NIVI's getting evolved .


So i made Nivi and Vani winning which will keep Prem and Nitin honors undisturbed.. They got their pride atleast to their husbands.

....... in their eyes .   

 but here Why  A happy ending for PREM expected  , which means PREM finds about the betrayal . Prem got the house on his name, sent her daughter to hostel and He was talking about some business plan or idea  . So I thought when the battle starts between Prem and NIVI , Prem would eventually get most of their assets . A house and then A new business plan for his new life . Why would you even drop these crumbs if you dont want readers to follow it then He went to Kerala,  . So you changed the direction of the plot from here or it was always the plan ? 

Few things that i wanted to say earlier . 

But the story ends , I mean not . KEY IS STILL WORKING . 

But Ending is really good , something unexpected. 

I just wonder , How do you write so fast ? and you already shared the teaser of your new story 

I am excited and waiting to read your next story . 





( Comments are for fun , and not the criticism of the story or writer )

Thanks you observed a lot.. I should be cautious in titles so its like setting a different expectations.. yes my initial idea was how the doubts of a husband indirectly pushing his wife to do the exactly the same - affair or cheating he feared. but over the chapters he becomes side character and Nivi become main character.   and for writing it does have taken time but i use to work around some slid plot points make separate chapters and build conversation around it so looks like that make it quick.. but id does eat full day of time.. 


Glad you liked the ending.. for the way i drafted.. 

Also with encouragements in personal boxes and here open chats.. im  planning for Part 2 where Prem will eventually get to know.. i dont know yet bt lets see where it goes

[heygiwriter]

Rather than a sequel you could probably create a different story line. I really liked the way you ended this story giving an open ended conclusion and its for the readers to assume to their thoughts. I for everything liked that you did not unnecessarily created humiliation to the husbands and showed the strength of Nitin & Prem to hold the secrets while knowing that it would ruin the lives. I liked how Aadhil & Rohan were matured not to hurt the family while having pleasure. I liked how you treated the ladies balancing between pleasure and family. This was perfect. Any continuation will actually ruin the story from either side of opinions. Let people assume, the spark would exist for few days and eventually people will be immersed in other stories. They only want a pleasure and will soon be bored if the story line do not fall into their perversion. 
Just my thoughts. I respect your opinions but honestly appreciate your efforts and more so in awe for how you wrote a real good story. it had technicalities, pace, thought provoking elements like mirror. It was a perfect screenplay.

Im very glad to hear this.. finally someone understood my intentions behind giving every characters a better ending -- than a perfect one.

Thanks a lot :) Started writing new story

[heygiwriter]

@heygiwriter

Like everyone said - We loved your story telling narration, plots, twists, climax and cliffhanger just AWESOME.

But what is also more surprising is that you checking and replying cautiously to everyone... Dude you are just on another level of awesomeness ?

however, like you wisely said that its not easy to meet everyone's expectations and point of views etc etc...
I also have a advice or request or suggestion. I hope you atleast read my pov and understand what and where am coming from. So lemme begin to explain what I really want to say and hence why I made this account and write my 1st ever comment in my last 20+ yrs of being a active reader on such site

" Cheating, Adultery, Kink, Fetish.... everyone has it and enjoys it in their own way.  But as a human and from personal experience being cheated + humiliated + shamed and not being able to do anything against isn't is a very very very bad feeling for a human (from a normal man's perspective) (cucks and simps are different breeds all together) . Any story that shows and portrays that a WOMEN feels empowered being a slut is a stab to human society and to MEN if am being honest. Mens are slut maker, while womens are sluts. Its not easy to make a women slut than a women making themselves slut. If you may have read An amazing story " The Unwanted Houseguest" that story touches every aspect of kinks, shames, simps, ducks, bdsm, subs and doms etc... but in the end rightfullness prevails. Right thing has to prevail... IT MUST PREVAIL....

Am not saying theres always a happy ending... but some conscious rightfull relief of atleast one thing happening right.
For example in my opinion " Prem and nitin should have found out the cheating... the appropriate skut shaming of their wives, the humiliation of their wives defending illogical sense of freedom and control but being nothing more than worse of sluts. The husband's disowning them and divorcing them and give them ultimate freedom on expense of not getting custody of the children or else the husband's will prove thier infidelity in court. The wives have everything now they wanted - freedom,  have sex with anyone anywhere, their business and money ..... but no TRUE LOVE and Real Caring / trust from that one person... have one void known as LOVE... the false empowerment of success and smile yet behind the guilt of destroying family for what?

Those 2 men's building career and giving better guidance to their children's. Etc seems a rightful ending. Because here no one actually won or lost.... everyone won and everyone lost...

My whole point is let morals and righful consciousness win rather than any gender. The reason I say so is that even if this is just a fiction, it does add up in one's thought and might give birth to something that shouldn't exist in their mind. As a moral code, give flare to the fantasies,  but dont give birth to such fantasies as something to be accepted s OKAY....

There are many cucks stories where the man stays cuck till the end of story because he has to accept the consequences of being cuck... however characters like PREM or any such character in any story is a REAL MAN. He made mistakes, realized his mistakes and made effort to work it out. That's what being a man is and dont shame such man with a ending where such slut cheating women thinks infidelity is success and empowering.
There are people who want to see their partner with someone else once tbh... but they know that the fantasy as 1 thing and the consequences of it is other thing. its jst a fantasy or a thought, but not every cuck would let any other man have dominance over their own manly ego/ authority.. simple.....

So true. I Agree with every single line of yours. This is the reason i ended the story with open ending.  The real time consequences are bigger. I even stay with Prem or Nitin on this they are honest but their wives are fucking around. Imagine same in real time.. The mens genrally dnt hide or keep secrets. Nivi or Vani would have got divorce. because the story has this one solid show prem/nitin are never a cuck or wanna be.. They are just worried about the friends and wish their family get back on feet as family.. The proper end would be atleast the least let them have their familes and ladies back to family zone..  I also saw the line fantasy cannot be accpeted as okay. Never.. its just a fantasy withing the fiction within xossipy. :) and inside one personal thoughts.

[heygiwriter]

I am really looking forward for more stories written by you. You are good in writing and very creative too.. I just hope, just hope that in one of your future stories, you ensure that justice and rightful person prevails. It doesnt has to be a happy ending, but a ending which feels right if considered to be a real life experience. 


If you ever need help to come up with a plot or have a weiters block, ask us and we will help you with different idea, which you can use it in your own amazing imaginative way. Afterall,  you are good story teller ? 

Meanwhile, jst to know - are you writing anything ? Can we hope for a new story from you anytime soon ?

already started one.. Mirnaa - Vikram's innocent Hotwife

[heygiwriter]

Absolutely agree.... the bitter taste of No ending feels bad... I mean to be honest, here cheating wives and Rohan/adhil won... the truthful men prem and nitin got played and didnt get any proper closure.  For example,  after prem learnt the past from Vikram and madhavan,  he should have had Absolute doubt that his wife was fked too( know his doubtful nature) because the change in his wife's behavior,  no physical or emotion intimacy equals to a 3rd persons presence in a wokens life. 

Still, loved the story.. everyone has own perception and fantasies.. so no blame game at all. Just looking forward for more awesome stories ?

Sure i'm actually planning for part 2 after completing my current story Mirna' Vikram's Innocent housewife. In this part i wiill try to sort the issues audience felt. Lets see