Non-erotic Dawn at Midnight By Pinuram - {Completed}

[usaiha2]

I read this story long time ago on xossip. Somehow, this story captured my heart. After xossip was shut down I was unable to find this story. I hope there are a lot of members here who have read this story and also those who haven't. I would like to post this story written by Pinuram. Thank you. A sequel to Forbidden Love {To understand the pain of love, friendship, hardship, devotion, sacrifice and to enjoy this part, the readers should read "Forbidden Love (https://xossipy.com/showthread.php?tid=19907)" first. That was one side of the coin. & "Dawn at Midnight" is the other side of the coin.}.


THIS STORY IS NOT A LOVE STORY OR AN EROTIC STORY. THIS IS A STORY OF LIFE.

मेरी फितरत नही किसी की चीज़ को अपने नाम करू...

so as i always say...  All credit goes to unsung original writer... Pinuram & 
Big Thanks to Arunima Roy Chowdhury _ Well-Known Member's

[usaiha2]

THIS STORY IS NOT A LOVE STORY OR AN EROTIC STORY. THIS IS A STORY OF LIFE.

 
Author's Note: All the characters in the story are above the age of 18. I have taken the liberty of narrating the story from the lips of the main characters so as to depict each of their feelings and thoughts. 

The story is a little lengthy and I would request the readers to kindly bear with me on this issue.

NOTE: THIS STORY IS A WORK OF FICTION. ANY RESEMBLANCE OF CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS WITH ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

NOTE FOR READERS : THOSE WHO WANT ONLY EROTICISM, I HAVE A REQUEST TO ALL OF THEM THAT PLEASE DON'T READ THIS STORY. THIS WILL NOT SATISFY THEIR NEEDS.

[usaiha2]

Introduction:

This story will be updated slowly. I don't want to post the whole chapter in one go. It will be like a lotus unfurling its petals slowly in the rays of morning sun.


The protagonist is a female. She lost her love due to guile values of the society and families around her. She walks on the unpaved coarse path of life, trying to cope with the world around her. She gets lost while walking her path. Lots of people comes in her life, some shows her dreams some uses her.

To understand her pains and feelings, one has to step in her shoes and walk with her. The writer hopes that the depiction of her life would be life like and the writer will try with utmost effort to bring out those feelings in her and give proper justification to her story.

Several points in this whole story might look like loose ends, life has their loose ends that is why it is called life and we don't have explanation to most of the things. Why that happened, why not this? No one has explanation as why sun rises from east or why the earth has to be round or why the crow is black or why lion has to eat meat.

To understand the pain of love, friendship, hardship, devotion, sacrifice and to enjoy this part, the readers should read "Forbidden Love (https://xossipy.com/showthread.php?tid=19907)" first. That was one side of the coin. 

"Dawn at Midnight" is the other side of the coin.

[usaiha2]

Part 1: Transmigration
----------------------------
 
Chapter 1: Princess in an ivory cage (#1)
--------------------------------------------------
 
“Mita, what are you going to buy for this Puja?” Teesta asked me.

I shook my head “Nothing, dear. Whatever ChotoMa will buy for me, I will wear.”

“You are terrible” Teesta laughed at me, playfully slapped my cheeks.

I squeezed my nose and looked at her---“Why? What dress are you going to wear this Puja?”

She whispered in my ears---“If my new boyfriend allows me to wear anything then only I could wear dresses.”

I winked at her and asked---“Hmmmm…. Naughty girl. Who is this new guy?”

She winked at me---“Why? Are you going to steal him from me?”

I shook my head and laughed at her “No Teesta. Keep yours inside wherever you want.”

She whispered in my ears again, voice filled up with mischief---“Let me taste him first and then you can have him.”

I slapped her softly---“Jah! Why should I taste the leftovers?”

She gave a queer look at me and asked---“Why? Have you found someone?”

I shook my head and laughed at her---“Naah! Re Baba. I don’t have that luxury. My Babu and ChotoMa will kill me, if they come to know.”

##

[usaiha2]

It was Friday; I was waiting for the bus at the College Street bus-stand. Just came out of Presidency College to travel back home. I was in my usual dress, in my usual cotton salwar suit. The jute bag 


containing my books and notebooks were on my left shoulder. I was frequently looking on my left wrist, the titan watch. I was probably getting late for my home. I could feel prying eyes of those 

passers-by looking at me as I waited there. I wrapped the dupatta all over my upper torso and clasped the jute bag on my chest to hide my treasures from those prying lewd eyes of the onlookers.

It was strict order from my Babu and ChotoMa to return to home before the night fall.

ChotoMa was actually my distant cousin sister Ulupi Di. Although she was my cousin sister but she was about the age of my mom. I called her Choto Ma (younger mother) because during my 

childhood days she breastfed me when my father died and my mom always cried. She took me in her arms and gave me warmth in the cold night, sang me lullaby while I slept peacefully on her lap. 

My life was in debt to her. I addressed my brother-in-law as Babu (pet name for a father). I never knew the love of my father. My father passed away when I was only two and half years old, so I tried 

to wring every tiny drop of affection whatever Babu showered on me.

During my youngest brother, Subroto’s marriage, ChotoMa was invited to my home so that I could pursue M.Sc. and due to her I was then standing at that bus-stand waiting for my bus.

I got admitted in Presidency College in the beginning of September 2001, after the results of B.Sc was declared. ChotoMa and Babu tried hard for my admission in Presidency College for my M.Sc. and 

I got admission with my major in Nuclear Physics.

I knew it very well that that Puja Vacation would be the most painful among the past twenty-five Durga Puja’s that I had enjoyed till then. Everywhere the air was filled up with vibrant ambience of 

Puja Vacation. Durga Puja was to come in October. People were roaming on the streets buying new dresses for themselves and for their near and dear ones. The sky was cobalt blue with tuft of white 

clouds floating around. The weather was pleasant as the monsoon left Kolkata just few weeks back. The aroma of the Puja was drowning the air around me.

I stood silently waiting for my bus and Teesta was talking with someone on her cell-phone. I didn’t have that luxury of having a cell-phone then. The bus arrived at last and we boarded.

We all had spare keys except ChotoMa as she used to arrive late. As I entered my house, I found Babu was reading the newspaper in his room. Babu retired last month from Airport Authority of India, 

DumDum Airport. He was Senior Manager in his organization the time he retired. He was very strict and disciplined and he tried to maintain that very discipline also at home.

Babu asked me in his usual deep tone---“ShonaMa; how was your college today?”

I answered quietly ---“It was ok Babu. I was unable to get the bus in time, all were very crowded coming from Howrah station.”

He asked for a cup of tea ---“ShonaMa, can you please make a cup of tea for me?”

---“Ok Babu.”

That was everyday’s question from Babu. Every day I came home after college I had to answer the same question. At times he used to call me as ShonaMa (golden girl) also. But that name was called 

by him only when he was in good mood.

I changed my dress to my usual cotton dressing gown and walked into the kitchen.

I took out the saucepan from the cupboard and poured water in that saucepan.

The water was boiling and I was lost in my thoughts again. The water vapours were flowing all over my face and my eyes were day dreaming again.

All the colours from my life were gone by a small wrong move. Life was like sixty-four squares of chess, thirty-two whites and thirty-two blacks. A person once told me. I felt life-less as corpse after 

the most beloved person of my life was taken away from me. That person was banished from his own house. What was his fault? What did he do? He loved me. He breathed soul in my life-less, 

colour-less life. Took me to the mountains and played with me like a child. In winter nights, I felt most secure in his arms. His only fault was that he loved me. He was younger than me by two years 

and he was the son of ChotoMa.

Perhaps no one would understand our love.

He screamed his heart out, trying to pacify ChotoMa that age was not a factor and neither had we had any blood relation. But it was the prestige and snobbishness of my ChotoMa and the relatives 

that made a guile wall of so called society and their responsibilities, around us.

They were very much protective about me. The room on the second floor was locked away forever. I was not even allowed to goto the roof. Every small traces of him were erased away from the walls, 

from the ceiling, from the doors and windows of that house. His old books were sold away; his old clothes were given away to beggars or to the utensil-vendors. No new person could tell that my 

ChotoMa had a son in her life; everyone knew that I was their only daughter.

ChotoMa took away the cream shawl from me after he left. The only trace that I kept secretly along with me was his brown diary. It was my “Bible”, my “Koran” and my “Gita”. There is an old saying 

that “It is always dark, just under the lamp.” so I covered that diary with a brown paper and kept that along with other books in my bookshelf. I marked that diary as “Optics Notebook”. Optics was his 

favourite paper.

  --

[usaiha2]

After he left the house no one talked about him. I was asked to keep my door open even during night. Probably ChotoMa thought that I could have harmed myself somehow. I was a small town girl; I 


didn’t have that courage or stupidity to take my life. I accepted my fate and tried to live like a corpse then.

I could not even cry properly. Every time there was a pair of prying eyes hovering on me. The only time I was left alone was in the bathroom. Several thousands of time I banged my head on the mirror 

and tried to break that mirror so that somehow the glass pierce in my head and my life comes to an abrupt untimely end. Alas! The mirror was also not in my favour.

Just then Babu called me again ---“ShonaMa is the tea ready? I have to goto market.”

I answered from the kitchen, while pouring one teaspoon of tea in that boiling water.

---“Just a minute Babu; almost done.”

Probably a drop of my tear also got mixed in that saucepan of boiling water. I wiped my nose and my face with the back of my hand and filtered the tea in a cup.

I walked to his room and kept the cup on his table. Babu was still reading the newspaper.

Without even looking at me he said to me---“Tomorrow your ChotoMa will take you for shopping to ShaymBazar for Puja. What do you want this time?”

I scratched the side of the table with my long finger nails and stood silently.

He looked at me; my long eyelashes were still deluged probably. He clenched his jaws and got up from his chair.

“I will goto market only after your ChotoMa arrives. I think that will be better.” His voice sounded stone cold in my ears.

He walked out to the drawing room and switched on the TV.

He handed me the newspaper and said---“If you don’t have to do anything now then read The Statesman. This will make your English vocabulary strong.”

Just then the doorbell ranged, I climbed down the stairs to open the door. It was time for ChotoMa to arrive from her college.

Yes I was right; it was ChotoMa standing at the door. She looked at me and nudged my chin.

---“How is my Paree today? Your college was fine.”

I had to give a faint smile as she walked in.

While climbing up the stairs she asked me---“Where is your Babu?”

I answered---“He is in the drawing room watching TV and sipping tea.”

There was a tone of anger in her voice ---“I asked him to goto market. There are no vegetables in the freeze; still he is sipping the tea. What has happened to this old man?”

I had nothing to answer, so I walked into my room silently. I lay on the bed and pulled a bedcover over me. My heart raced again to the thoughts of those beautiful past and my vision got dampened. I 

bit my right finger so as to suppress my spasms overflowing my heart.

ChotoMa came into my room---“Why are you lying on bed at this time? Don’t lie down in the evening.”

My chest cried out “Can’t I have some time alone with myself, ChotoMa?” But I could not speak those words. Those words remained inside me forever, no one heard that.

I wiped my face and went into bathroom to wash my face.

During the dinner, ChotoMa said to me that she would take me for shopping the other day. I was not at all interested. Why should I buy new clothes? For whom should I wear new dresses? Who was 

there to praise me? There was no meaning left in my life for joy.

Babu asked---“Paree what happened? You are so quiet today?”

I shook my head to tell them that nothing had happened and I was ok. But was I really ok? Was I really fine, with what had happened. Who knew that the rupture in my heart will not heal and was 

broken into thousands of pieces?

I went into the bathroom to fresh up myself, applied the apricot face-wash on my cheeks. I looked at my cheeks, the rosy tint was gone. There was a pale look on my face. I brushed my teeth. I looked 

at my lips; it was rosy but was that really rosy? No it was pale yellow. Was I having jaundice? No it was not due to jaundice. All colours of my life were washed away. The rosy cheeks, red lips, big 

black eyes. Every colour was gone from my life.

[usaiha2]

Before retiring to my room, ChotoMa reminded me again---“Don’t lock the door from inside.”


I lay on the huge bed alone and closed my eyes. I could not sleep for a long time. Before he went away he ignited a fire inside my heart and that fire used to haunt me every night. I unhooked my inner 

wear from my bust and pressed the pillow hard on my chest. I bit the soft pillow between my teeth and cried and cried and cried. The dark night haunted me. The branches of the trees swayed near 

my windows. They used to beckon me as a pair of evil hands. Most of the nights his memoirs kept me writhe in pain and I spent numerous sleepless nights just by counting the stars in the sky.

Next day morning ChotoMa and I went for shopping at ShaymBazar. She asked me to buy whatever I liked. I had to put a veil on my heart and always kept a smile on my face.

She bought two very beautiful salwars for me, one was of yellow and red and the other was of turquoise blue. She bought a white and brown coloured Zamdani saree for herself. She asked me to buy 

some expensive saree. She asked the shopkeeper to show us lots of varieties and at last I choose a Kantha-Stich saree. A cream coloured china-silk with Kantha-Stich all over that saree. The thick 

border attracted me very much. It was decorated with lots of elephants and lotus all weaved in threads.

ChotoMa then took me to BowBazar for buying ornaments.

She nudged my chin with her fingers---“I had to prepare for my Paree’s wedding from now on.”

I smiled faintly at her.

On seeing my smile she patted softly on my cheeks---“My sweet daughter. Keep that smile on your face always. You have grown up now.”

I said to her---“Can we go home today? I don’t want to buy any gold ornaments now, please.”

She nodded her head---“Hmmmm….. Ok but next time we had to buy something. This is the second time we came to buy something but returning empty handed.”

Yes, it was the second time we were returning empty handed. First time he was with us and we came for shopping. That day he made me buy jeans and t-shirt. But that was a different situation.

One day I asked Babu for a cell-phone. He gave a queer look and asked “Why do you want that?”

I said---“All my friends have cell-phone, only I don’t have.”

He looked at me for sometime---“If I give you cell-phone then you will chat with your friends all the time.”

I pleaded to him like a small child---“Please, please, please Babu. I promise you that I will not chat for long hours.”

He smiled at me---“Ok. Let your ChotoMa come then I and you will goto shop and you can choose.” He cautioned me “Only four hundred rupees recharge for a month, not more than that.”

I threw my arms around Babu’s neck---“My Sweet Babu. Do you want a cup of tea?”

He smiled at me affectionately---“So ShonaMa is bribing me, right? Sure, I would love to sip tea anytime if my ShonaMa gives.”

In the evening, after ChotoMa arrived, Babu said her that I was asking for a cell-phone and he had promised me that he would buy me one.

ChotoMa asked me---“Why do you want a cell-phone?”

Babu answered on my behalf---“Oh! Come on Ulupi. Paree is now going to college and doing M.Sc. She has grown up. She is twenty-six years old.”

ChotoMa yelled at Babu---“That’s the main problem. She is twenty-six years old. Only a mother understands what happens when her daughter is beautiful and young and unmarried.”

She looked at me and said---“You have to show me the call logs every day.”

I was furious on hearing that, I yelled at her---“Can’t I have some liberty in my life?”

Babu looked at me. His gaze pierced deep in my soul.

Again I heard his stone cold voice---“There was enough liberty given to you, Paree. Think what you have done with all those liberty.”

I screamed my lungs out and slammed the door of my room behind me---“I don’t want a cell-phone.”

[usaiha2]

Few days before Mahalaya, starting of Durga Puja, I was watching the TV in the drawing room.

Babu walked into the drawing room and asked me to sign a court paper. I asked him as what was that. He told me that that paper was a legal paper for legal guardianship.

He said---“You mother has given the consent and she has signed the papers.”

I looked at him and then signed on the court paper. After that legally I became the princess of the emperor and the empress.

My days were gloom and nights were painful.

I lived a life of a beautiful princess locked in a beautiful ivory cage of an emperor and empress. I got all the materialistic happiness whatever I wanted. Good clothes, beautiful ornaments. Every 

morning and evening they fed me with nuts and honey and several fine delicacies.

But I was still a pet scarlet princess imprisoned in a beautiful ivory cage.

______________________________

[usaiha2]

Chapter 2: A river named Teesta


--------------------------------------

First day of my college, my heart was thumping like a huge drum inside my chest as I entered the gate of Presidency College. Babu came with me till the gate of the college on the first day. I asked few 

students loitering along the corridor for the class room of M.Sc. Physics. They showed me.

That day I wore a white long skirt with small blue dots all over and a white frilled shirt with blue pinstripes. As usual I carried my black stole along with me, wrapped around my neck. My jute bag was 

on my left shoulder and my long tress was tied in a bun behind the back of my head, softly caressing my nape and as I did in my college days, I had a pen in my bun.

I felt few prying pair of eyes, caressed me all over as I walked into the class room. I looked at those eyes and gave them sleek smile. As I entered the class-room, I heard some male voice from the 

corridor---“Oh! Guru. What a cut-piece, masterpiece.”

Few heads turned towards me. I looked around the bunch of students. Mostly were boys, few girls were there in the class. On the second bench there was a wheatish complexioned girl. She was 

chatting with few other fellow students sitting on the third bench. She looked at me and smiled and signed me to come and sit beside her.

I quietly went and sat beside her.

She said to me---“The way you entered the class, clearly suggest that you are new in Kolkata. Where do you live?”

I answered---“DumDum.”

She shook her head in disbelief---“Oh! Come on. You are from DumDum?”

I smiled at her and nodded at her “Yes.”

She introduced herself as---“I am Teesta Sarkar, from Lake Town and you?”

I smiled at her openness---“I am Suchismita Mondal.”

---“I guessed that. Your smile is really beautiful.”

Oh! My God, a girl was complimenting me. I turned pink in coy and laughed at her.

---“Dhaat Tere ki. Have you gone mad?”

She winked at me---“Wanna bunk the first period and goto Coffee House?”

I shook my head saying that “No, I want to attend the first period at least.”

She pointed at another girl sitting on the third bench, who was also listening to our conversation.

---“She is Delisha Khatun, from Park Circus.”

Truly speaking, I didn’t expect a '. Girl pursuing M.Sc. in Physics. She was very fair. Rosy white in complexion, wore a dark blue salwar and a black veil covering her head.

I asked her---“Do you have to wear this head-scarf always.”

She waved her hand at me---“Aree, Na, Yaar. Dad insisted, but my mom resisted him, saying that I was old enough to take care of myself.”

Someone from behind the class shouted at us---“Oh! Guru. Today, the wooden bench will catch fire.”

I looked over my shoulder as who spoke those words at us.

Teesta shouted at him---“G****, keep your foul mouth shut.” and pointed her right middle finger at him.

She said to me---“Don’t look at him.”

I gave a queer look at her as if asking “Who was he?”

---“He is Debobroto, from my previous college. Anyways he is good in Physics, mainly quantum mechanics.”

I looked at the person named Debobroto. He was tall, dark with specs on his eyes. Clean shaven, back brushed hair, squint eyes. Nose was bit small. He sat with his arms outstretched resting on the 

bench behind him. His arms were strong and muscular. I could feel his tough chest muscles from the unbuttoned blue and white check shirt and white vest.

I raised my right hand and waved my fingers at him, he smiled at me. He pointed his right index finger and middle finger at me and signed like shooting a pistol.

Teesta saw as what Debobroto did and she smiled at me---“He killed you on the first day, baby?”

Somehow I smiled at her---“I don’t have the luxury of getting killed, dear.”

I said to myself “I am already a corpse. Who can kill a person who is already dead?”

[usaiha2]

One day, during lunch break, we were walking towards Medical College, myself, Teesta and Delisha. We were munching peanuts. Debobroto came running towards us and tapped Teesta on her 


shoulder. I looked over my shoulder and asked him---“What happened?”

He asked Teesta---“Can I come with you?”

She gave a naughty look at him---“Only if you pay for the Friday first-show at Metro.”

He slapped playfully on the back of her head and said to her---“Why what happened to Tathagato?”

I asked Delisha---“Who is Tathagato?”

Delisha shrugged her shoulder and shook her head “How do I know.”

Debobroto said to me---“Teesta had several boyfriends and Tathagato is one of them. Am I right?”

Teesta started slapping playfully on Debobroto’s arms in the middle of the road---“You swine. Do you have to tell everything?”

He laughed at her---“Ok, ok. So he is past now. Who are you seeing currently?”

I asked Debobroto---“How many boyfriends do Teesta have?”

He laughed at me on hearing my question---“Hey Mita, if I start counting I will finish only in the morning.”

Teesta screamed at him---“If you don’t stop now then I will kill you.”

Debobroto winked at her---“Give a kiss and I will surely die.”

“So Teesta had several boyfriends” I asked her.

“Come on you don’t start now, Mita” Teesta pleaded at me.

“Mita” I then got a new name from my colleagues and friends. The name “Paree” was lost after he went away. Only ChotoMa and Babu used to call me by that name.

[usaiha2]

That day I was very much upset, due to Babu’s denial to buy me cell-phone. I sat in the class room with a gloomy face. Teesta came near me after the lunch break and asked me “What happened to 


you?”

I shook my head “Nothing, I am fine.”

She looked into my eyes and said---“Don’t try to hide from me. Tell me what happened.”

I gave a painful smile and said to her again---“I am fine. Can we goto Coffee House?”

She pulled me out of the class room and looked at my face---“Tell me what has happened?”

How could I tell her what was going inside my heart? I could not.

I had to lie---“I am just feeling sad. I have not gone to my house in village for a long time that’s why.”

She didn’t know then, that ChotoMa and Babu was only my guardian. She didn’t know the truth. She was surprised to hear that---“What, your father and mother doesn’t live in DumDum?”

---“No. My native place is far away from Kolkata, in a village.”

She took me to the coffee-house and we sat at one corner. I dreaded to sit on the second floor. I looked up the ceiling; the huge fans were rotating painfully. Last time I came here, he was with me and 

we sat on the corner table on the second floor.

The walls were calling me as if asking me “Why I was alone this time?”

We sat on the first-floor; she ordered fried chicken and cold coffee.

---“You have not told me anything about yourself. Tell me everything. I just want to hear who is actually Suchismita? What lies behind this beautiful smile?”

I told her that---“Mainly I was upset because Babu didn’t brought me cell-phone.”

She gave a queer look at me and said---“That can’t be the only reason.”

I told her most of the tale, only part I omitted was my relation with him. I avoided that beautiful agonizing part. Why to bring pain in an already painful mind by remembering those colourful days? Let 

those days remain in a corner of my heart, forever. All those reminiscences were like beautiful flowers. I didn’t want to share my memoirs with anyone.

We bunked rest of the periods.

She sat silently in-front of me and said to me---“Your ChotoMa and Babu are really very good person.”

I smiled faintly at her---“Yes they are.” Only I knew that I was a pet scarlet princess locked in an ivory cage.

[usaiha2]

It was one Tuesday, due to demise of a teacher there was a holiday in college. I had to do nothing. I, Teesta and Delisha were loitering on the road, leisurely walking towards Hedua.


Delisha said that she would like to treat us.

I asked her the reason. She smiled coyly at us and said---“Yesterday, I and Danish got engaged.”

Teesta laughed at her and said---“Another bird fell in trap. Come on where are we going?”

I said---“Peter Cat. Cheloo Kabab. Nothing less than that.”

On hearing me, Delisha and Teesta gave a surprising look at me.

Both of them asked---“How do you know about Peter Cat? You are a real mischievous girl. I am sure you didn’t go there alone. Who was with you?”

I smiled faintly at them and said---“Naah baba, I went there with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend.”

The look that they gave at me clearly told me that they didn’t believed a single word of mine.

I laughed at their baffled face---“Aree, I am telling the truth. No one was ever for me. Not in my college days. Yaar.”

Yes that was actually a truth; no one ever courted me during my college days. Whatever happened happened afterwards in past few months.

“Ok, ok.” She looked at Delisha and smiled mischievously at her and asked---“Tell me how is Danish on bed?”

Delisha was rosy white complexioned girl. On hearing Teesta’s naughty query her face turned red.

“Dhaat.” And slapped playfully on her face “Am not like you at least, who has to taste every one before giving a final call.”

I looked at Teesta and Delisha.

Delisha asked again---“Are we going to Peter Cat?”

Teesta answered---“No, after a long time I have found few good friends. Let’s go to my house. Only my sister-in-law would be present. Mom and dad have gone out and my brother is in his office. 

Let’s us enjoy.”

We three girls boarded a taxi from College Street and were on our way to Teesta’s house.

Teesta always loved to wear western outfits. Jeans and t-shirt were her favourite dresses. At times she used to come in skirts also. Those skirts were of knee length and she enjoyed the lewd look of 

the males, grazing on her waxed calves as she walked.

Delisha was just opposite, always in salwar. Only on the first day she wore the veil. After that day she never wore her veil. But her salwars were beautiful.

After that trip, I never wore my jeans. One day I wrapped my jeans and the turquoise Lehenga in a polythene bag and threw all those in a garbage dump outside the Medical College. What’s the use of 

wearing such clothes if the person I loved most can’t behold me?

All the way Teesta teased Delisha and asked her about Danish. They two were fighting like two kittens. As I was in the middle, most of their slaps landed on my arms, chest and bosoms.

I screamed out at them---“You two stop fighting or I will knock your heads.”

Delisha smiled at me and joked---“Mita madam also becomes angry. By the way, how old are you?”

I told them that I turned twenty-six and my birthday just passed last month. They were baffled as I was older than them.

Teesta---“Don’t tell me. We are just mere child.”

Delisha joked at me---“If she would have married at right time, then she would have a daughter of your age.”

“Mita Mata.” Teesta joined her hands in front of me.

I laughed at their jokes and pranks.

Teesta’s house was of three stories. The ground floor was on rent. Her brother and sister-in-law lived on the first floor and she stayed with her parents on the second floor.

A lady in her mid twenties opened the door for us. Teesta hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“This is my sweet sister-in-law, BonaniDi.” She introduced us with that lady. “And she is Suchismita and that is Delisha.”

We entered her room in second floor. The first thing that I found was a huge poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger on the wall just above her reading table. The person stood on a cliff, muscles bulging out 

from every possible anatomy; only black underwear covering his loin.

Delisha smiled at her---“He comes to you during night?”

She hissed at her on hearing her question---“Ohhhhhh….. If he could come out of this poster, I would give everything to him.”

She looked at me and asked---“Why are you standing like that? Don’t you feel jelly down there?”

And she slapped on my plump bottoms.

I threw my bag on her bed and jumped on the bed.

I smiled naughtily at her---“Why to make love with a poster?”

Delisha asked---“Hmmmm….. Means Mita is not as what she looks.”

I yelled at them---“Come on, don’t you have any other topics to discuss.”

Teesta jumped on the bed over my back as I was lying on my tummy. She put her arms beneath my armpits and nudged the side of my bosoms.

---“These jugs are not made in a day baby.”

As her fingers caressed my soft bosoms I felt a tingling chill ran down my spine. My face turned red and I turned over on my back. She fell on the bed and laughed at me on seeing my red face.

She continued pointing at Delisha---“See what Danish has done to her.”

Delisha pulled Teesta’s shirt. Her shirt ripped open revealing her supple firm bosoms, jostling inside her black innerwear.

She screamed out---“Naughty girl. Wanna have fun?”

She shook her bosoms, those soft mounds of flesh swayed over her chest like two melons.

Delisha asked her---“How many pairs of hand are there behind those soft mounds baby?”

Teesta looked at the ceiling and rubbed her soft bosoms with her right palm.

---“Oooooooo….. Till now ….. Four pairs.”

I exclaimed on hearing her---“My Gosh! How you handle those.”

I was feeling a tingling sensation all over me, on hearing those words and all those playful touch we were enjoying among ourselves.

Teesta looked into my eyes---“My baby is feeling something gurgling inside her. Right baby?”

“Noooooo…..” I screamed out, hiding my expression behind a naughty smile.

“Ok, ok” Teesta started “One was there during my class ten. We were very childish then so nothing much happened except few hugs and kisses. Oh! God I have even forgot his name. Then came 

Bikramjit during my class twelve. The first touch was given by him. Oooooooo….. I enjoyed the way he touched and kissed me all over.”

Delisha was not much behind, expressing her feelings. She touched the jeans clad crotch of Teesta and asked her---“So this was tasted by him.”

Teesta enjoyed the fingers on her crotch---“Naaaaa….. Dear. Now it is you who is touching. He did not have the courage to go down my belt.”

My head was spinning; all these frolicking city-girls were making me mad.

Delisha looked into my flashing eyes and smiled---“Mita is having something. Right Mita?”

I screamed and laughed at them---“You two are just unbearable. Teesta, why don’t you continue with your story?”

She laughed at me and said---“Only if you promise me that you are going to tell me your story.”

I shook my head---“No, I don’t have any.”

Delisha exhaled a deep breath out of her heaving chest---“This girl is righteous. She has treasured her sanctity for the final person.”

I smiled in my heart “Did I keep my sanctity? I gave that to my precious already and I don’t regret for that.”

Teesta asked Delisha---“Why don’t you tell how is Danish?”

Delisha yelled at her---“Why, are you going to bed him also?”

She gave an evil grin---“I just want to compare, Baby.”

Delisha squeezed her lips in a small “o”---“Uhhhhh….. Don’t make me remember that day.”

I was curious (Oh! shit what was happening to me) and asked her---“What what?”

She moaned out on remembering the scene when her cherry was popped---“No fore-skin, bulbous tip, hot as cannon, rigid as granite. He just tore me apart as he invaded my cave. I felt as if that the 

tip would come out of my head.”

Teesta was grinning at her continuously---“Yeah, that’s what I love in your males.”

Delisha was astonished to hear that---“What do you mean?”

She gave another devilish grin at us---“In my college, it was Aahil who popped my cherry.”

I could not stop grinning at her---“So only Buddhist and Christians are left or you have tasted them also?”

“No, no, Aahil was just a torrid affair. One day match.” Teesta grinned at me.

She asked both of us---“You two don’t wear jeans. Do you?”

We both shook our head saying that “We don’t wear.”

---“Ooops… then you can’t feel the sensation.”

I asked her---“What sensation?”

---“Come on. You two probably also wear your nether inner-wears always.”

“Yes” Delisha said to her and was looking at her aptly as what was she going to explain.

Teesta closed her eyes and pressed her fingers on the juncture of her limbs---“The stitch of jeans, when it rubs on yours …… it feels awesome. I always remain sweaty there, baby. Whenever I feel I 

can sweat. That’s the beauty of jeans and its stitched fabric between my legs. The coarse fabric rub all over the place, poke in the fissure and I go jelly.”

Teesta suddenly held the collars of my shirt and gave a hot smooch on my lips. I was lying on my back and Teesta rested her bosoms on mine, our supple pairs of soft mounds jostled and pushed over 

each other. I could feel my pebbles were hot as iron marbles and hers were poking hard on my soft flesh.

I went totally frenzy on her hot and wet playful actions. Delisha was smiling mischievously as Teesta pushed her tongue inside my mouth and sucked the air out of mine. I could not control myself and 

grabbed the back of her head and pulled her more on my wanton lips.

For a fraction of second I thought as what was happening to me.

After sometime I pulled Teesta away from my face. We both were panting hard due to our mutual lustful play. Her gaze was pouring hot lava; a raunchy smile was smeared on her face and lips. I 

looked at Delisha who was enjoying our actions.

She smiled at us and said---“I have to go a long way. You two bitch can carry on.”

I somehow sat on the bed and adjusted my shirt and skirt.

Teesta took my palms in her hand and pressed them gently---“Sorry Mita, I just got carried away.”

I winked at her and said---“Why sorry?” and then whispered in her ears “I enjoyed.”

She asked both of us to wait for some more time. But I was getting late as Babu would be waiting for my return.

Before we left Teesta’s place, she said to us pointing to her chest---“This hen has trapped a new cock.”

She walked with us till the bus stand.

[usaiha2]

It was few days before the Puja Vacation. Teesta and I were standing at the gate of college waiting for someone whom Teesta wanted to meet me.


I asked her as who was the person.

She winked at me---“That day I told you about my new boyfriend.”

I asked her “When have you told me?”

She shook her head---“Oh! Come on Mita. Just few days back, I asked you as what you were going to buy for your Puja? Now do you remember?”

I nodded “Oh! Yeah I remember.”

A thin built guy, probably of twenty-six years I assumed approached us and smiled at Teesta.

She almost ran towards him and holds his hand.

She pointed at me and said to him---“She is Suchismita, my friend.”

I joined my palms, to offer my regards. He laughed at me loudly---“Oh Come on. I am not old enough to be an uncle.”

I smiled at him. He was in a dark brown pant and a white shirt with blue pinstripes. He was handsome, bit taller than Teesta as she was an inch shorter than me. His shoulders were broad but due to 

his thin physique the shirt was loose one. I felt that as Teesta was bit on voluptuous side, the pair was bit mismatched. But they were very amorous pair. Their eyes told me everything. I smiled faintly 

at them as that pair reminded my old days.

Teesta looked at me and introduced him---“He is Tirthankar Sengupta. He is pursuing PhD from Jadavpur University also in the same major as yours.”

I pulled Teesta towards me and whispered in her ears---“This is not the guy that, Debobroto was talking that day. Is he?”

She gave an annoying look and signed me to keep silent “Don’t dare to speak a word.”

I understood everything and kept smiling at Tirthankar.

Teesta sweetly smiled at him and asked him---“Tirtha, have you brought your car today?”

I asked her---“He also have a car?”

She whispered “Yes. He is the only child and his father is very rich.”

Tirthankar grazed his gaze from my head to toe, more than he looked at his girlfriend. I felt very awkward due to the prying look in his eyes.

I told her---“I am not going to disturb you two then. I will go home”

Tirtha smiled at me---“Come on. After a long time, I am meeting a beautiful friend of Teesta. You are not the bone of contention.”

Teesta pinched his right arm---“Are you flirting with Mita? Don’t ever try to do that.”

“Some other day; Teesta. You know my Babu; he is waiting for the cup of tea before he goes to market.” I said to them.

I politely denied their invitation of going to The Scoop by the bank of Ganges. I felt that Tirthankar was having something inside his chest after he saw me. The look in his eyes didn’t felt right to me. 

As a woman we can adjudge the gaze of person in what sense they were looking at us.

I looked at those amorous pairs as I was walked towards the bus-stand. Tirthankar waved his fingers at me, bid me good bye.

I was about to board the bus, just then out of nowhere I felt a tug on my bun. As usual I used to keep a renyolds pen in my bun. The person pulled the pen and my bun unfurled. I got very angry and 

was about to bash that person. I looked over my shoulder only to find Debobroto was laughing at me. I could not get angry on seeing his smiling face and smiled back at him.

“Who was that along with Teesta?” he asked me.

I questioned him back---“Why, were you eyeing Teesta?”

He came near me and whispered in my ears---“I was eyeing on her from my graduation days. But that bitch was having an affair with a '. boy.”

I asked him---“But that day you told name of another person. Who was he?”

---“Oh! Tathagato… Aahil just used her. Tathagato loved her.”

---“Where is he now?”

“She dumped him because at that time he could not afford her. After graduation he went away to States on scholarship. Probably, she regrets now for her decision.” He laughed again and shook his 

head “That bitch will not stop till her itching is doused.”

That was my new friend Teesta Sarkar, just like a hilly river dancing and enjoying her life on every turn and twist, till brim.
________________________________________

[usaiha2]

Chapter 3: Annapurna Immersion

-----------------------------------

ShasankoDa applied for telephone at our native place. By then we had telephone in our house in village. I was able to talk with my mom every day.

He never called back or perhaps he called and ChotoMa and Babu didn’t give me the phone to talk to. One day I searched for Bannerjee Uncle’s phone number in the telephone diary but could not get 

that. I tried to contact Arundhuti, but I was unable to as she also didn’t contacted me. Why she didn’t contact? ChotoMa asked me thousands of queries about Arundhuti and him. I had to tell the truth 

as I loved him. Definitely he might have sensed the same thing. Surely he had sensed that and he didn’t want that any type of threat should touch me. So he might have cautioned Arundhuti not to 

contact me. Probably Arundhuti called and she was denied the pleasure of speaking to me. She was the only person to whom I could open my heart.

The day was two days after Mahalaya. On early morning, I was brushing my teeth when the phone rang. Babu used to get up early and goto market for buying fresh vegetables. He already returned 

and was doing some work near the telephone. ChotoMa was in kitchen, preparing the breakfast.

Babu picked up the phone and then he called ChotoMa. I heard faint sound of their conversation.

Babu---“Should we tell Paree?”

ChotoMa---“No not now. When she will reach home then let her know from them only. I don’t’ want my child to get sad just before Puja. If possible we will go out during Puja Vacation to some place 

away from Kolkata.”

I came out of the bathroom; my toothbrush was still in my mouth.

I asked---“What happened?”

ChotoMa shook her head---“Nothing.”

I spit out the froth from my mouth in the washbasin and asked again---“Who called?”

Babu came near me and looked at ChotoMa---“Ulupi, we should tell her.”

ChotoMa pulled me inside my room and asked me to open the top buttons of my night gown.

I was baffled by her action and asked her---“Why what happened?”

She ordered me to open my dressing-gown and show her my bosoms. As I opened my buttons, she pushed her palms under my bosoms and pressed them under my mounds, circled those and felt 

those soft fleshes. I was taken aback by her actions. She pinched my nipples and asked me whether I had any pain or discharge from those or not.

I shook my head and said---“No.”

“Ok” she nodded her head and kissed my forehead “Dress up, we are going to your village.”

A writhing pain started inside my heart as what could have happened. The first thought that came in my mind as what happened to my mom? I asked her again as what happened.

ChotoMa answered---“Your Mom is fine, ShonaMa. I was thinking that since the Puja Vacation is about to start so why don’t I take you to your village few days earlier?”

She asked Babu to call a car instead of going by bus.

ChotoMa and I boarded the car and we started for my native place.

She asked me questions about my college.

---“So everything is going well in your college?”

I nodded my head as to say that “Everything is fine” but inside my heart I had an anxiety as what could have happened and that also with whom? If my mom was ok then who could be?

“How many new friends you have now?” She asked. Was she trying to divert my attention away from my anxiety? Probably yes because she was my ChotoMa.

I smiled at her---“Oh! Come on ChotoMa, I am not a child anymore. All are friends.”

She shook her and touched my chin and nudged---“ShonaMa, in college life every things become materialistic. You should be aware of that. This is not your native place, ShonaMa. This is Kolkata; 

people here only know others if there is something in return and that is the truth.”

She patted on my cheeks and said---“I have to have a very hard time with my daughter.”

I looked at her as to understand as what she was saying. She was trying to explain the harsh reality of the society.

I told her that I had two best friends; one was Teesta Sarkar and other Delisha Khatun.

She smiled at me and said---“Why don’t you invite them someday at our house after Puja?”

“Sure” I smiled at her.

I hesitated a little and then asked her---“ChotoMa, I have to say something.”

She gave a queer look and asked---“What?”

---“I want a cell-phone, ChotoMa. Most of my friend in college has. I feel inferiority complex.”

She smiled at me and said---“Ok, next birthday you will have your cell-phone.”

“Oh! My god.” I thought, which meant that I had to wait for another long year, as my birthday just passed on twenty-sixth August.

I shook my head and gave a childish look---“NO, no, no. That’s too late ChotoMa.”

She nodded her head and said---“Ok, baba. Christmas gift. Now happy?”

I threw my arms around her neck and kissed her cheek---“My lovely ChotoMa.”

She was a teacher, she knew human psychology, she knew well how to divert attention and she made me happy then. Sometimes I felt that how could she banish her own son out of the house?

[usaiha2]

By noon we reached our village. I ran inside the house without even paying heed to few pairs of eyes as a car has stopped in front of our house.


Probably everyone was expecting us. I saw my mom was sitting in the dining room, Meghna Boudi and Maithili was also present. I knew that Shasanko Da and Subroto were in their work place and 

Eldest brother was in the field. As it was noon so I thought that my eldest sister-in-law Parvati Boudi might have gone to fields to give him his lunch.

Mom and Meghna smiled at me. Mom greeted me with a bear hug and kissed my forehead. I was panting and looked around so as to find that what could have happened and to whom.

I asked mom---“What happened and to whom?”

She said---“Paree you have come a long way. Take the lunch and then rest. Everything is fine here.” While she said those words, there was grieving pain painted on her face. But I was unable to 

fathom that pain.

ChotoMa came in and Mom took her inside. I looked at Meghna Boudi and asked her the same question. She also didn’t say anything to me, I then looked at Maithili. She avoided me somehow and 

went away to her room.

Out of now-where Dushtu came running at me and I bend down to take him on my lap. He threw around his arms around my neck and I kissed his chubby cheeks.

His first question put me in an agonizing situation---“Why are you alone? Where is Abhi Uncle?” After a long, long time someone called his name. I could not believe my ears that I was hearing his 

name. I felt an earthquake inside my chest, gurgling out a gruesome pain. I clasped him with all my strength and looked at him.

I smiled painfully at him with my glistening eyes---“He will come next time. He has gone far away for his job and he didn’t get leave for enjoying his Puja Vacation.”

I said those words to him, same time I consoled my painful harrowing heart that one day he will come for me.

What Dushtu told me after that, shook the earth beneath my feet.

---“Bodo Jethima (eldest aunt) is in hospital. She had pain on her chest.”

I looked at him. Already I had enough pain in my small bleeding heart, and then came his words as a huge turbulent wave on the coast of my chest. I just ran with him in my lap to the room where 

mom was talking with ChotoMa. Parvati Boudi showered her affection silently on me always. He also knew these and he told me.

I yelled at both of them---“What is he saying? MA. WHAT are you two hiding from me?”

I shouted at them, I forgot that Dushtu was on my lap---“Why ChotoMa checked my bosoms?”

Mom got up from the bed, they were sitting. She came near me and took Dushtu from my lap and asked him to go away from the room. I observed that ChotoMa wiped the corner of her eyes. I walked 

to her and kneeled down by the side of the bed by her feet.

She rubbed her soothing palm on my cheeks and said---“Your Bodo Boudi is fine. She just had some chest pain and she will come back by evening.”

I looked at her with my deluged eyes and said---“You are telling me the truth? Right?”

She nodded her head---“Yes my daughter. Why should I tell you lie?”

---“Why you checked my breasts, this morning?”

---“Nothing, I was examining.”

I didn’t believe her words that Bodo Boudi had only a chest pain---“No, there is something more and you all are hiding from me.”

Mom looked at ChotoMa and signed her not to tell me anything, I observed that gesture with the corner of my eyes and I was then wounded that there was something more.

I pleaded to ChotoMa with my grieving eyes---“Please tell me.”

ChotoMa took a deep breath---“Parvati has been diagnosed with breast cancer.”

I was dumbfounded as what more pain I had to bear. I threw my arms around ChotoMa’s waist and hid my sniveled face on her lap.

I shrieked out a long---“NOOOOOOOO……… this can’t happen with me.”

ChotoMa, being a teacher said to me while gently soothing my hair

---“ jatasya hi dhruvo mrtyur

dhruvam janma mrtasya ca

tasmad apariharye'rthe

na tvam socitum arhasi.”

(For one who has taken birth, death is certain and for one who has died, birth is certain. Therefore in an inevitable situation understanding should prevail)

I was furious on hearing her Sanskrit shloka and shouted at her---“Don’t tell me all those Sanskrit shloka’s; they are not going to bring back life. I am just a young girl with flesh and blood. Just tell me 

why everything that I love in my life is taken away?”

She took my face between her palms and wiped my tears---“ShonaMa, you are old enough to understand things in life.”

I shook my head---“I want to goto her, NOW.”

She somehow pacified me as to keep calm.

[usaiha2]

The evening was approaching, none of my brothers returned. My heart started to beat faster with each passing second, anticipating the arduous news to come in any second.


Just then the phone rang and I ran to pick up the phone. Subroto was on the other end; he didn’t expect me to pick up the phone.

Subroto---“What are you doing?”

---“Just tell me where are you and how is Bodo Boudi?”

Subroto---“Give the phone to Mom”

I shouted at him---“Am I no one of this house? Don’t I have any right to know?”

He took a long breadth; I bit my lower lips to control myself, prepared myself for the harrowing news.

Subroto---“She is sleeping now. Chemotherapy is going on. Now will you give the phone to Mom?”

I wiped my eyes and handed over the phone to my mom. I looked around, every person was standing there anxiously waiting for my answer as what has Subroto told me.

I told them---“Bodo Boudi is going under Chemotherapy. She is sleeping now.”

At that point of time I understood as why ChotoMa felt my breasts in the morning. I looked at ChotoMa and she understood from the look of my eyes that I paid her the gratitude as what she did to 

me.

She told me---“Tomorrow I will take you to the hospital.”

##

During the night, after my brothers arrived all sat in a closed door meeting and I was not allowed to enter. On last visit at my native place, when we both were leaving, Bodo Boudi came out of her 

kitchen to bid us good bye. It was the first time in many years, she came out of her kitchen in her entire life to bid good bye to us. I didn’t know what he did or what he told to her. Only that pair of 

smiling eyes floated in front of my sniveled eyes, then.

I walked up the roof and looked up the sky. I stood in one corner of the roof, just the place where he sat few months back during our last visit.

I was desperate to meet him but also at the same time I was having the pain of losing my ChotoMa. She had done lot for me and I was in debt to her for what she did. How can I let their heads bow 

down in shame in front society, among the relatives? I was a girl, a naïve girl who had to die thousands times before taking any drastic steps in life.

A terrible chain of thoughts jostled inside my head. Cancer of Bodo Boudi, pain of losing my love, ChotoMa’s affection. The whole world shook violently in front of my eyes. I could not think of 

anything. I felt a sharp pain inside my head and all of a sudden everything went black in front of my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I was on a bed surrounded by ChotoMa, my Mom, Meghna Boudi and my brothers.

Mom’s eyes were filled with tears as she looked at my painful face.

She asked ChotoMa in choked voice---“What’s happening to my house Ulupi?”

ChotoMa probably sensed the reason behind my ill health. She knew the truth that it was not only due to Bodo Boudi’s cancer it was something more than that.

Mom rubbed her soothing palm all over my head and face. She was in dark as what was going inside my heart. Only person who knew as what was going on was ChotoMa. But her eyes were also 

filled up with tears; probably she was bearing the same pain of losing his son. It was really hard to fathom as she could veil very aptly, her feelings.

ChotoMa told me---“You could goto meet your Bodo Boudi tomorrow.”

But next day also, I was not taken to hospital on pretext of something.

On Chaurthi, the fourth day after Mahalaya, I was walking towards the backyard of the house, beside the pond. Everywhere I felt his touch, in the pond, on the path. Every place in my house bore his 

reminiscences. I walked to the mango tree; that he planted long time ago and sat under that tree. I tried hard to feel him on the trunk of the tree. On that place, he kissed me on the last night. Still 

those kisses lingered on my lips, my forehead. I looked up the cobalt blue sky. The aroma of the air was filled up with Puja and Puja. But those aromas were not getting inside my brain.

Dushtu came running at me and said---“Bodo Jethima (eldest aunt) has returned to the house.”

I was more than happy, at least some solace to my painful mind and soul.

I came running to the house and found that everyone was gathered in the dining hall. I asked mom as where was Bodo Boudi (eldest sister-in-law).

She said to me---“She has just arrived. She is inside her room.”

I walked inside her room and found her lying on the bed, covered till her neck. She was so sick and so wispy, that when she smiled at me, I wanted to tell her that “Don’t smile just be there on bed and 

stand on your feet for my sake.”

From that day I was always by her side for every moment and also at night. Her left breast was amputated. She was on chemo. She was gradually regaining her strength although she was very weak, 

but at least she was able to sit on the bed and walk to the bathroom.

On Navami, ninth day of Durga Puja, she felt better than previous days. I helped her to take bath and she looked at me while I was combing her hair. Most of the hair had fallen by then due to 

chemotherapy.

She whispered in a very weak voice---“Paree, I want to goto to the Durga Mandir, will you take me?”

I told her “Why not?”

---“Today evening?”

---“Yes, sure. We all will go. Mom, ChotoMa, Sumanto Da, Meghna Boudi, Dushtu, and Maithili everyone will go with you.”

[usaiha2]

The evening came; I was very happy to find that Bodo Boudi was able to walk and would goto to the Durga Mandir. I was in her room when helping her to get dress up. I dressed her in a red cotton 


saree. Her smiling face was trying to say something else which I was unable to understand. She asked me to take out a beautiful sky blue and white check Sambalpuri silk saree from the almirah. I 

asked her as what was that. She told me that my brother brought that one for her but she wanted me to wear that on that day.

I wore that saree and came down to her room. Everyone was looking at me. I smiled to everyone. My mom came near me and kissed me on the forehead. Bodo Boudi was sitting on the bed with a 

wooden box in her hand. She patted on the bed beside her and asked me to sit.

She rubbed her soothing palm all over my face and with hazy eyes looked at me.

I asked---“Why are you crying? You will be ok?” but I was not a child anymore and I also knew that the clock was ticking very fast. The winded spring of the clock has reached the optimum and it would 

stop any moment.

She said---“I am just beholding how beautiful you are.” She handed me that wooden box and opened that. I saw, it was filled up with few gold bangles and three gold chains and few pairs of gold 

earrings.

I was bewildered as what was she going to do?

She said nothing and picked up one gold necklace and put that around my neck. Then she put another one and then she made me wear a pair of big gold earring.

Large drops of tears were rolling down her cheeks as she was slowly pushing those gold bangles on my wrist.

After she finished, she took my face between her palms and asked me to call Sumanto Da.

I called Sumanto Da.

She looked at him and said---“See how beautiful your sister is looking. Just like a fairy from the heaven has descended on the earth.”

She gently caressed my cheeks. My chest already gurgled in some unknown fear.

I placed my palms over her to enjoy every bit of her soothing caresses on my soft cheeks.

All of a sudden she held her chest, her bust convulsed. As if small waves crushed on her repeatedly. I held her in my arms, tightly and screamed out for my mother. Sumanto Da asked her to lie down.

She shook her head---“No, let me lie down in her arms only.”

Her upper torso convulsed repeatedly. Blood oozed out of the bandaged chest.

Her lips were dry. Those lips shook a bit and she raised her right hand over my head.

I cried out till my last drop of strength was exhausted---“Ma, come quickly.”

All of them came running inside the room.

She raised her hand and put her palm on my head---“I am happy that you are here.”

I held her tightly across my chest---“YOU CAN”T LEAVE ME LIKE THAT. NO, NO, NO.”

The blood from her chest already soaked the upper part of my saree and my blouse.

My sight was hazy then, who cared what was happening around me.

She closed her teary eyes. Her head bent on my lap and her hand fell on her side after sometime like an old dried twig.

My eldest brother, Sumanto Da came near me and took my head in her arms. I was unable to breathe properly as my chest was convulsing. Boudi’s lifeless body in my arms and I was helpless.

Sumanto Da said to me---“Everything has finished. Nothing is left here for me.”

My Bodo Boudi was no more among us. On that day, when everyone was enjoying the Navami Puja, I had to immerse my Goddess Annapurna forever.

I knew that every year Devi Durga comes to make our life filled up with joy and happiness, but my Annapurna, Parvati Boudi won’t come back to me again.

______________________________

[usaiha2]

Chapter 4: Console bleeding heart


---------------------------------------

Mourning ceremony was to be held after thirteen days so I had to stay there for next fortnight. ChotoMa went for her college; she said to me that she would visit every day afternoon before she goes 

home.

Kalyani also visited our house as she resides in the same village as mine.

One evening I and Kalyani was walking in the back side of the house, beside the pond.

Kalyani asked me about him---“Paree, where is Abhimanyu? Have you told him the news of demise of Bodo Boudi? He should come?”

I looked at her, what I should say to her, I could not understand. Should I tell her the truth or console myself by telling her that he would come. But how could he come when he didn’t know about the 

demise of Bodo Boudi?

I said to her---“If I make a STD call from your house, will you mind?”

I knew Suprotim Da’s residence telephone number.

She shook her head---“Why? Where is he that you have to call STD?”

“He has gone to Delhi for job. He is very busy so I think he will be unable to come.” While I said those words to her, I looked down so as not to look at Kalyani’s face. I was the worst liar in the whole 

world.

She was surprised to know that he went away---“But …… at least he should come now? At least he should think about you as what was going on?”

How could I tell her, as what all was going inside my chest?

We walked till the mango tree and stopped there. I touched the trunk and tried to feel his touch.

Kalyani smiled at me and asked---“Missing him?” She hugged me.

I gave her a faint smile and hid the pain gurgling inside my chest.

She nudged my chin---“Ok come on. Let’s us call him.”

I said to her---“I don’t know his number?”

She looked at me with big surprised eyes---“WHAT? He has gone away and you haven’t his number? Has he not called you?”

---“No I mean, he might have called ChotoMa and Babu. May be I was in the college during that time.”

She didn’t believe me as what I said. She held me by hand and pushed my chin up. My sight was hazy by then.

“You are hiding something. Your eyes doesn’t depict the pain of separation only, there is something more that you are not telling me. What is that?” She touched my cheek.

Her touch made me go meek in my heart and I sobbed out---“He will come for me right?”

I sat under the tree and she sat beside on the ground. She took my face between her palms and asked as what had happened to us?

With choked voice, I said to her---“ChotoMa smelled our relation and he was banished from his own house. I feel guilty for all this.”

She asked---“How and when all this happened? You have not told me a single word all this time?”

---“Always there was a pair of prying eyes hovering around me, how could I?”

---“You could have called me from outside, when you go to college.”

---“I thought why to bother you.”

She wiped my tears with her thumbs---“So am I not your friend?”

She pulled me up from the ground---“Do you want to goto Delhi and leave your house forever?”

I was taken aback by her words, was she asking me to be desperate and leave ChotoMa and Babu?

I wiped my face with the back of my hand and looked at her---“No, I can’t leave my ChotoMa and Babu. They have done lot for me. They have fought for my studies and I can’t at least make their 

heads stoop in front of the society in shame, just for me.”

I took a deep breath and said---“He will surely come. He has to come. I know. The society and families knows only the tinker of money. He will struggle and fight against this society and will sweep me 

away from all my miseries. But I can’t leave my house or my family in any sense.”

She hugged me tightly---“Hope that he comes back. I really envy you two. I really envy your faith and his struggle.”

She asked me to walk along with her to her house.

We walked along the narrow path between the fields and by the pond she asked me---“Do you want to call Suprotim Da’s home?”

I nodded in accordance.

When we entered our house, I observed that ChotoMa was there discussing something with my mom and other elders.

She saw me enter the house with Kalyani. My heart skipped few paces faster in some unknown fear that ChotoMa would probably ask Kalyani about details of our relation or she would ask something 

more drastic.

We, Kalyani and I, both looked at each other’s face. She winked at me and signed me to keep quiet, if any questions are asked by ChotoMa, she would handle.

Instead ChotoMa smiled sweetly at her and asked---“How are you?”

She nodded her head to say that she was fine.

---“I think you will be a better person to take care of her, since you are friends from childhood.”

We both were very much relieved to hear those words from ChotoMa. A huge boulder came off our chest and we both smiled at each other.

ChotoMa then asked Kalyani---“Why don’t you take her with you to your home? I think if she stays here the demise of Parvati will haunt her every moment. If she stays with you then she would 

probably feel relieved for some time.”

I felt a deep urge to hug my ChotoMa with all my strength as she said those words to me.

She looked at my mom---“Am I telling something wrong? If she stays with her then it won’t be a problem for you I suppose?”

My mom answered and smiled at me---“She is your daughter now.”

We walked out of our house.

#

That night we called Suprotim Da’s home in New Delhi, but alas none answered the phone. For the rest of the days till I was in my native place and with Kalyani, we called his house. Every time the 


phone rang, but no one answered.

The day, I was to come back to my house at DumDum with ChotoMa.

Dushtu came to me and said---“Next time when you will come, please bring Abhi Uncle along with you. I have not heard his stories for a long time.”

I smiled at him and nodded---“Sure I will call him and tell him to come.”

I consoled my heart that my thief would come one day and free his fairy from the ivory cage. He would sweep her feet away to the mountains. Just it was a matter of time.

______________________________

[usaiha2]

Chapter 5: Glimmer of hope, fades


--------------------------------------

Days passed without much ripples. After I returned to my house in DumDum, I was given some freedom. Then I was at least allowed to close my door of my room at night.

On the first day when I locked my door, I took out his diary and read that for a long time. He loved to write stories and poems. All those were very, very funny. I laughed a lot while reading those 

poems. Truly speaking, some were good but most of them were nonsense. And that nonsense made me laugh at night. I was able to breathe again in the fresh air. Gradually I was feeling happy again 

as that diary was with me and I was at least able to read his memoirs every night.

ChotoMa and Babu were also happy to see my smiling face. But they didn’t know the reason behind my smiling face.

The day was two weeks before Christmas; first marriage anniversary of Subroto and Maithili. It was also the day I met him. It was a memorable day for me. The day of my first kiss, although it was on 

my forehead but it was the most sweetest and most precious. It was early morning and I was still in my bed remembering those sweet moments and was smiling inside my heart.

I knew by my heart that he must be feeling those same and I knew he would somehow try to contact me.

ChotoMa and Babu had just finished calling Maithili and Subroto to wish them their first anniversary. She asked for me but ignored them with some pretext. I told ChotoMa to tell them that I was in 

bathroom and I would call them afterwards.

It was the venomous curse of Maithili that took him away from me.

I was getting ready for my college. ChotoMa already left for her college. Babu was near to the telephone and I was in my room when the phone rang.

I was about to run to pick up the phone, but Babu answered. I stood at the door of my room. My heart was telling me that the call was from him.

Babu---“Hello who is this?”

Some one answered, but I was unable to fathom as who was on the other end. Whatever the answer was, that made his face muscles strained, jaws clenched. I could observe all those facial 

expressions of Babu as I observed his face from his side. I was standing behind him at the entrance of my room. His back was towards me.

---“We are well. Why have you called?”

From that answer I was sure that it was him on the other end. My heart galloped like a race horse trying to finish the race. I was trying to gather all my strength to get into that receiver of the phone, 

just to hear his voice. I clasped the curtain.

---“She is not here. She has gone to her native place.”

He was not aware that telephone was there at my native place by then. He would unable to cross-check what Babu told him. I closed my eyes, my sight went hazy. My face turned red and my ears 

were burning.

---“Yes she is studying M.Sc. We have finalized her marriage. After her M.Sc. she will get married soon.”

I couldn’t know what his reaction was on the other end, but I stood there as a lifeless corpse on hearing those words. The whole world shook in front of my eyes. I lost myself into deep oblivion. The 

only thought that ran in my mind was that I lost him forever. Hope that he doesn’t lose himself and keep a faith in me.

---“Don’t call us again and try to mess her life. She is happy with what has come.”

I closed the door behind me very quietly, so as not to make any noise. I tore the pillow apart to vent my agony. I cried my heart out in utter pain. He called but I was not able to talk to him. I bit the 

pillow between my teeth to drowse my cries and the gurgles inside my chest.


#

Babu knocked the door---“ShonaMa, you are getting late for college. Are you ok?”


I screamed out with all my strength---“NO I AM NOT OK. JUST GO AWAY. How could you all do this to me?” Not a single sound came out from my lips. I buried all those cries deep inside my heart.

I wiped my face and said to Babu---“I am not feeling well today.”

---“Ok, take rest then. Let your ChotoMa return, she will take you to the doctor.”

At least I was relieved that he didn’t observe me standing behind him and eaves dropping his conversation, else another second world war would have started that night.

I kept to myself after that incident and that was noticed by my friends. Teesta and Delish wanted to know, but I was not at all in a position to tell them as what all had happened. After that day, I crawled deep in a shell like a hermit crab. Only thought that rang time and again inside my brain, heart, mind and soul, I have lost him. That one sentence of Babu was enough for the glimmer of hope to get faded.

[usaiha2]

Few days after that incident, I stood at the College Street bus-stand waiting for my bus. The winter had already set in Kolkata. The festive season of Christmas could be felt in the air. I was in a salwar 


and a cardigan. I was feeling cold all due to heavy heart. Few busses passed by but I was lost somewhere else in his thought. Someone touched my shoulder.

---“You are standing here since long time. Two or three busses of your route had already passed.”

I recognized the voice; it was of Sankho Chakroborty of our class only. We talked very less as he was bit timid guy. He was not so tall, just medium built medium height guy. Very, very normal looking 

person and he were studious. He never had courage to talk to me as Teesta, Delisha, Debobroto and few others were always with me. I was also counted as a very, very studious and snobby person. It 

was all due to my quiet nature. Probably I talked less, mingled with less people.

I smiled faintly at him---“Just like that. All those busses were crowded so I was just waiting for some other bus.”

He asked me---“Want to walk with me till Sealdah? From there you will get several buses for your home.”

I nodded my head “Ok”.

As soon as we started to walk I heard a whistle. On hearing that I was sure that cunning Debobroto had definitely seen us together and he would surely make my life hell.

He came running towards me and asked---“Sankho? I am surprised to find you walking away with my girlfriend.”

He teased me a lot and he always wanted to bring smile on my gloom face. On hearing those words I flung my bag at him. Sankho was shy person so he kept quiet.

He patted on Sankho’s back and said to him---“Now you can go. I will take her from here.”

I yelled at him---“You rascal, am I your property?”

He teased me again---“Not yet.”

Sankho’s scratched his scalp and quietly walked away.

After he went away, Debobroto all of sudden became serious and asked me---“What has happened to you? Since few days, I have observed that you are not talking properly with anyone.”

I shook my head and said to him---“Nothing I am well. I am heavy hearted due to demise of my eldest-sister-in-law nothing else.”

“Hey come on” He nudged me by my shoulder.

I looked at him, felt relieved by his friendly gesture.

He asked me---“Are you going somewhere this winter?”

I shook my head---“No. Are you going?”

---“Yes”

---“Where?”

---“New Delhi, my eldest sister is there.”

My heart skipped. Place where he was. My eyes flashed which was unnoticed by him.

He asked---“What happened?”

I almost pleaded him---“Will you do me a favour when you will be in Delhi?”

---“Sure, what?”

I only knew Suprotim Da’s residence number and nothing else. When we went to his house, he came in his car. Only thing I knew that the house was near a big market and there was kali temple near 

his house.

I said to him---“I will give one letter and a phone number. Could you please contact that number and take that address and give that letter to that person?”

His eyes flashed mischievously---“Hmmmm….. Old affair.”

I shook my head---“NO, NO, NO, he is husband of a good friend of mine.”

He was unable to understand anything---“You want me to meet the husband of your friend?”

---“Yes, you promised me that you will do that.”

“Ok” he nodded. “I will be going in first week of January, give your message before that.”

I was happy as I knew that my letter would at least bring some news. I was happy that I got a messenger to carry my news. But I was skeptical about finding the right person, as I didn’t know Suprotim Da’s address. Only what I knew was his phone number.