10-03-2024, 10:13 PM
Shreya's heartbeat hammered in her ears as she closed the browser window. The images had seemed so alive, so raw and frenzied—she couldn't dispel them from her mind. Shadows of depravity danced behind her eyes as her mind played back the carnal flicks frame by frame. The women, dispassionate, being ravished by hungry men, haunted her imagination.
She felt wicked, penetrating the forbidden corners of the web in the stillness of the night.
Her heart hadn't accounted for the visceral tsunami that tumbled her senses. Panic churned her insides; who were these people sharing their most intimate moments? How had they eroded societal norms, while she had never even been kissed? Her grip tightened on the computer mouse. The tiniest flick, and she'd tumble back to innocence, but she was already hooked. She wanted to know more. She didn't need sleep, she needed answers. The clock had just struck 2. It was way past her bedtime but she didn't care. She had day off from university next day.
She was a studious girl, an ideal daughter in Indian household. Her parents had passed away in an accident when she was just **. Around the same time, her brother was newly married to this extremely conservative Indian housewife named Rani. She was Indian orthodox values personified. She was a hot-headed and wouldn't sly away expressing her emotions (engulfed in raging fire) if she thought something was not right as per as tradition. Every in the neighborhood were shit scared of her and tried to avoid getting in any confrontation with her. But along with her terrifying outbursts, she had always been like mother to Shreya. Shreya's brother was a grown up but was still rather childish in nature. So after her parent's death, Rani became kind of person with authority, taking care of everything.
Shreya had always been a cultured, obedient girl who would never try to engage in something that went even mildly against what she considered against "traditions". But influenced by Rani's fiery nature, these traits for her were amplified.
But that wasn't the case tonight.
Tonight, she felt a magnetic pull as she dove back into the illicit corners of the internet. It was an electric sensation, nerve endings snapping, as though she were embarking on a dangerous, exhilarating ride.
The house was blanketed in stillness, the only sounds her quiet breath and the click of the mouse against the desk. The darkness offered the cover she needed to explore, like her own secrets shrunk down into images on a screen. It was intoxicating.
The floor creaked as she shifted in her chair, nerves tingling. She clicked on the most trending video on the site. What was going to happen next was going to build her entire perspective about what sex is really like in real life.
The video was by a studio that primarily focused on catering women degradation kink. But she was unaware of that. Afterall, this was her first time encountering porn. So she didn't know how to differentiate between the various genres or categories.
She had stumbled upon it out of pure curiosity, but she felt sick to her stomach, the taste of bile rising in her throat. Was this pleasant for the girl who filmed these intimate acts? The desperation, the sheer animalistic instinct, it all looked distasteful to her. She clicked on other videos in recommended tab, but she didn't know that all of the videos were by the same studio. She jumped video to video, feeling disgusted about the state of degradation these moms, sisters, daughters, and partners were reduced to.
She felt her palms dampen each time a simulated moan assaulted her ears, and her heart raced within the confines of her ribcage as though it was trying to crawl out of her body. Why? Why would anyone want to do this?
If this was real life—and Shreya wondered momently if such a lurid existence could even be fathomed—then it was not for her. To find out if sex was really like this in real life, she made a few internet searches "Do you women get used like a toy while having sex?" or "Is every man the same as these videos?" The answers to her late-night queries frightened her young mind. As if the videos alone weren't terrifying enough, Shreya read chilling accounts from women who experienced far uglier situations. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't ignore the rising panic—confirming her worst fears—that real-life sex may indeed be as unsettling as these videos.
She turned off her computer and jumped in her bed, tears flowing down her cheeks. She was scared, she knew at one point in her life, she had to give in to the ways of the world, she had to lose her virginity. She was already 21 and the cultured from which she came from, that was a ripe age for a girl to get married. Rani, her sister-in-law, was 20 when she got married. The day was almost near, when the society would fix her marriage with someone she didn't even know, and she had to live with this stranger for her entire life. The thought of what may transpire on her wedding night, haunted her young and innocent mind. It was the fear of the unknown that propelled her to search the answers. Her imaginative mind was on the brink of losing its sanity, like a ship caught in the tempest of the unknown sea, craving for the solid ground of information.
Shreya's world was doubly sheltered with a cultured upbringing and the conservative orthodoxy of Rani.
She picked up her phone and searched for a forum where Indian women discussed their sexual experiences and desires. She wanted to read about experiences of real Indian women, their fears, hopes and dreams. She stumbled upon an Indian erotica forum where women dared to share their deepest fantasies and experiences in erotic details. As she read through, she found mixed opinions on how their husbands would perform sex on them. Most accounts stated that the wife was just a tool for a husband to use after a long day at work.
The wives described their husbands' rigorous thrusting, biting and even hitting them, just to satisfy their own hunger. It was a horrible thought, Shreya's heart sank. She couldn't imagine her to-be husband touching her like this.
She didn't yet know the pleasures and pains of sexual intimacy. It amused her, thrilled her and appalled her, all at once. It was the mystery that captivated her the most.
She was petrified by the unknown, but also drawn to it.
The stories of some women had shown her that maybe sex wasn't always awful. Some women described how they loved the feeling of connection, the physical and emotional pleasure that came from making love. The uncertainty of what lay ahead of her was a disturbing thought, but Shreya couldn't help but feel a little excited too.
Her late-night explorations left her with more questions than answers. But one thing was certain, she couldn't ger ready for marriage without knowing what she was getting herself into. She needed to see a real-life sexual encounter for herself.
She needed a solid plan. She couldn't slip up. Everything that she could possibly think of was at stake. She couldn't just ask a couple to allow her to witness the act or even sneak up on them. That was out of the question. But she was not one to give up. Her determined mind started turning gears, and she started formulating a chain of events that would enable her to quench her curiosity. As stated earlier, she couldn't ask someone, she had to gaslight the person into committing such acts.
She started thinking who could be her test subject. It had to be someone who couldn't blackmail her whatsoever and someone who could be gaslighted into performing an act like that. The biggest task for her was to find a male. Surely any random guy would happily engage in sex considering every single guy was always horny but the problem was he could easily blackmail her in the future.
The person had to be someone who, even if he opened mouth, no would believe. Someone who'd have no value in society. Someone
who was as good as dead.
The next morning, Shreya sat in her living room, mulling over her problem. She looked out of the window at the bustling streets of Jaipur, already swelling with the heat of the day.
And then it hit her.
She recalled a man she had seen many times on her way to university. He was a poor, old man, with shabby clothes, a sour expression and an uncombed beard. He appeared to be a burden to the world. People often crossed the street to avoid coming close to him. His mere existence
was a nuisance that elicited disdainful sniffs and narrowed eyes from passersby, and Shreya was sure that nobody would believe him if he claimed he had witnessed her scheming.
In that moment, Shreya resolved to execute her plan to view a real-life sexual encounter involving this man, known only as Chandu. This man, weather-beaten and invisible to the world, would serve as the perfect pawn for her experiments, safe and disposable according to society.
Shreya's pure and untainted mind weighed the pros and cons of her decision. While she felt pity towards the plight of Chandu, she also realized she needed a helpless human being to ease her through this delicate situation. Despite her privileged upbringing, she was aware of the adversities of poverty, and though it pained her, it was her misfortune that such a creature had to give meaning to her underground experiment.
Her mission now was to locate candidate number two. She required an individual who would eagerly engage in carnal activities with a destitute soul, all the while accepting the notion of Shreya's silent observation. Her astute intellect devised this plan solely as a preventative measure against potential coercion.
She couldn't trust anyone from her social circle with something as private as this, especially not someone who would have power over her.
She needed someone vulnerable enough to be manipulated and controlled, who owed her a debt of gratitude.
After much deliberation, she zeroed in on the first person that came to her mind—Rani Gupta, her beloved sister-in-law. Rani and Shreya had shared heart-to-heart conversations after her parents' death, forging a deeper bond than any typical relationship shared between a bhabhi (sister-in-law) and a nanand (husband's sister). Shreya knew she could trust Rani without hesitation, and Rani had always placed her needs above her own.
Shreya began planning the execution of her scheme, precisely aware that Rani would be a difficult target. She plotted numerous potential scenarios, each one more elaborate than the last, her mind growing increasingly convoluted with every new step. Each new iteration failed to meet her expectations, and as she launched deeper into her twisted machinations, she couldn't help but question her own motives.
Shreya knew that what she was asking of Rani was a repulsive request.
It was vile to ask her to commit such an act, and it sat heavy in her heart. Shreya has always such high regards for Rani, seeing her as the epitome of grace, wisdom, and strength. But the only way Shreya could think of putting her plan into action was by leveraging the trust they shared.
Shreya decided to draft a letter, to evoke the emotions that would persuade Rani to become a party in her scheme. She wanted Rani to understand the depth of her curiosity without spelling it out.
She knew that if she were to directly convey her unusual desire, Rani would instantly decline, offended by the mere suggestion. No, Shreya needed to manipulate the situation with the delicate touch of a master puppeteer. She knew that Rani's protective nature would prove to be the key to unlock Shreya's uncharted world.
So, she drafted a letter filled with lies, coated in the truth. She carefully weaved a tale of a close friend, experiencing distress and confusion, bombarded by relentless questions of sexual nature.
She painted a vivid picture of helplessness, a young girl desperately seeking answers, yet failing to find any reliable sources of guidance. This unfortunate soul was a victim of her upbringing in a sheltered environment, which had kept her in the dark.
Shreya pour all her own feelings and thoughts onto the paper, making it seem like a friend was agonizing over her sexuality, struggling to comprehend the physics of intimacy and the concept of true love.
She created a girl who was utterly lost, and stressed the importance of her friend resorting to this extreme act as a final attempt to quench her inquisitive mind. With a lump in her throat, Shreya rewrote the letter several times, desperate to ensure that every word exuded sincerity and urgency.
Dear Rani,
I hope you are well. I find myself writing to you today, burdened by a troublesome dilemma plaguing my closest friend.
This issue has been weighing heavy on her heart and her conscience, as she wrestles with the storm brewing within her, convinced that the stifling traditions of our society have failed to prepare her for the complicated path of intimacy and carnal desires she now faces. As her confidant, she believes that I can be a guiding light, piercing through the cloud of confusion that surrounds her.
However, I must confess that I am woefully ill-equipped to provide her with the answers she seeks.
Much like my dear friend, I too have been cloistered in the same stifling environment that carefully guards the secrets of intimacy. I have been raised in the same traditions, the same values, and under the same protective umbrella that she has known her entire life. And yet, I am the one she trusts to guide her, even though I am just as Much like my dear friend, I too have been cloistered in the same stifling environment that carefully guards the secrets of intimacy.
But, at the same time, I can't help but feel that I am failing her as a friend. I want to help, I want to provide her with the knowledge and understanding that she so desperately craves, but I simply don't know where to begin.
She has been a victim of explicit videos online. The women in those videos are used as a mere tool of pleasure, like disposable objects with no will of their own. She asked me if sex in real life was same as in those videos. You know she is around my age and she will be getting married soon. She wants to prepare for what's to come. So in order to help her out, I went online and browsed various forums and got the same answer. Every housewife online stated they were just a tool for their husbands to relieve frustration and desires.
They are promoted from a daughter to a wife, and suddenly it's their sole duty to sexually please their husband, their needs and desires being pushed aside. Is that all a women is meant to be in our society?
Somewhere in my mind, I too pose the same question. So Di, I am sorry but I need to help out a friend and find the answers myself. We have arranged a meeting place at an hotel where she'll bring an old beggar with whom I am supposed to have sex with to find all our answers. Hoping you can forgive me.
Regards,
Shreya
P.S. Please do not share this letter with my brother or anyone else.
Shreya's heart ached as she sealed the envelope, sealing her fate to Rani's discretion. She wondered if Rani would understand, if the unconventional nature of the request would make her balk, or if she would take up the challenge and fight for her young sister-in-law's enlightenment.
Days crept by like weary travelers, burdened with the weight of anticipation.
Shreya went about her daily life in a mechanical haze, mechanically fulfilling her academic obligations and household chores, while her mind sprinted ahead of her, leaping the immense hurdles in place for the grand event. As careful as she was, she couldn't quite escape from the clutches of perpetual worry. What if Rani betrayed her trust? What if someone found out about her sinister plans?
Thoughts of confrontation and humiliation played on a loop, haunting her sleepless nights. Regret weighed heavily on her heart. Even though she was anxious, Shreya was certain she was prepared to confront and challenge the deep-seated beliefs and conventions ingrained in her culture.
One day she finally found an opportunity. Her brother was going away on a business trip for 6 months.
This presented Shreya with the perfect cover for her scheme. With her brother no longer in the household, Rani's attention would naturally turn towards Shreya. She carefully placed the envelope on the dinning table early in the morning and left the house.
Shreya had planned everything meticulously. She knew her brother's departure date weeks beforehand and took advantage of the situation to further her plans.
As she walked down the lonely streets of Jaipur on her way to university, she couldn't help but think of the impending confrontation with Rani. She felt a surge of anxiety wash over her like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her under its crushing pressure. She wondered if Rani would understand the depth of her curiosity or if she would be met with rejection and disappointment. Will Rani get the hint and realize that "the friend" Shreya keeps talking about is, in fact, Shreya herself or would she misinterpret Shreya's intentions and assume that her young sister-in-law was merely trying to protect her friend's identity?
Shreya's imagination ran wild with endless possibilities. She had always admired Rani's strength and wisdom, and in many ways, she idolized her. However, as she contemplated the impending confrontation, she couldn't help but question her own motives.
Was her curiosity the sole driving force behind this elaborate scheme, or was there an element of rebellion against societal norms and expectations? Were her actions a manifestation of her desire to take control of her own sexuality, in a world where women were often subjected to the whims and desires of men?
Regardless, Shreya knew that her actions were irreversible, and that she had embarked on a journey from which there was no turning back.
Rather than dwelling on the consequences, she chose to focus on the potential rewards of her efforts. If successful, Shreya would be thrust into a new realm of understanding and meaning in her life. Although it scared her, she knew that there was something profoundly alluring about the possibility of gaining this valuable knowledge.
But Shreya also felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. Her actions were a calculated risk, and she knew that the stakes were high. If her scheme were discovered, the potential consequences were too dire to consider.
She was lost in her thoughts when her phone rang.
It was Rani, and Shreya's heartbeat quickened as she answered the call.
"Hello, Rani?" she said, her voice trembling slightly.
"Yes, it's me. Listen, I got your letter. " her voice trembling with anger. "I'm so disappointed, Shreya. I never thought you would be capable of something like this."
Shreya felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and no words came out of her mouth.
She sat there, silent and tense, listening to Rani scolding her on the other end of the phone. She felt trapped, guilty, and scared.
Replaying the words of the letter in her head, she felt foolish for thinking Rani would understand her intentions. The letter, which was supposed to be her ticket to a little more knowledge and experience for the sake of her future, now seemed as though it was going to rupture the bond that she held so dear with Rani.
However, there was no taking anything back now, and Shreya realized that she had to brave the consequences of the path she had chosen. She took a deep breath and finally found her voice.
"I'm so sorry, Rani. I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just wanted to find the answers to my questions. My curiosity is killing me, and I thought this was the only way. I have to do what I have to do. I am so far off, there's no turning back." said Shreya with a tremble in her voice. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the worst. A wave of remorse washed over her as Rani's
harsh words bore holes through her heart.
Rani sighed on the other end, and Shreya could hear her take a deep breath. "Listen to me carefully. What you are planning to do is wrong on so many levels, Shreya. And I'm not just talking about the moral aspects of such an act. You are setting yourself up for a dangerous path. What if things go wrong? What if word gets out?
Do you have any idea how it would affect your reputation, Shreya? Your family's reputation?"
Rani paused, and Shreya could almost feel her disappointment radiating through the phone. "You have so much potential, Shreya, so much going for you. Don't throw it all away for a few moments of fleeting satisfaction."
Shreya's heart sank. Her plan had failed, Rani didn't get the hint at all.
Shreya tried to explain her intentions, but Rani refused to listen. The disappointment in Rani's voice made Shreya feel like a failure. And yet, she couldn't suppress the yearning that surged in her heart.
Rani continued to speak, "Shreya, I know you must have your reasons, but this idea of yours is not just foolish, it's dangerous. I won't let you ruin your life just to satisfy your curiosity. Do you understand me?"
Shreya nodded quietly, feeling the weight of her decision settle heavily upon her.
"Then what should I do Di? I don't know. Seems like I am at a dead end. You and Brother will marry me off soon to some stranger. Who knows what that stranger might do to me. All I have learnt about sex is that its painful for the girl. If I got to witness sex in real life it alleviate all my doubts but that's out of question. I can't do that without any repercussions. So my only bet is to go and experience it first hand. I have found this really old beggar to use as tool. Even if he opens his mouth, no one would believe him. Sorry Di but that's the only way out," Shreya pleaded, both desperate and hopeful.
Rani sighed again, her frustration palpable. "I understand that you are scared, Shreya. But this is not the answer. I cannot let you go down this path."
Shreya's heart sank, but she knew that she had to keep pushing. "Di, I know it's not ideal, but I have to do something. I cannot enter a marriage without knowing what to expect.
I am aware that my decision will have life-altering consequences, but I cannot stand the unknown."
Shreya's voice was filled with desperation and determination, and Rani could not deny the gravity of her situation. Rani knew that Shreya was not the type of girl to back down from a challenge, and her persistence was proof of that.
For a moment, she remained silent on the other end of the phone, contemplating the weight of Shreya's words.
"Listen to me carefully, Shreya. I understand your fears, and I don't want you to enter marriage blind," Rani finally said, with a hint of resignation in her voice. Shreya's heart skipped a beat. Was Rani finally going to agree to her plan?
"But what you are proposing is still dangerous and inappropriate," Rani continued.
"But I might have an alternative solution. It will require you to trust me, Shreya. Completely."
Rani's tone was different now. It was softer, more thoughtful. Shreya felt a glimmer of hope ignite in her heart.
"I'm listening, Di," she said, her voice trembling slightly.
She braced herself for Rani's next words, unsure of what they might be.
"Both the option you mentioned involve too much risk and I won't allow you going doing that path. Asking any stranger to allow you to watch them would tarnish our reputation in society. And you engaging sexually yourself is out of question. I don't know why you even thought of that. So there is only one option left. What you are doing is completely wrong in the first place. A girl should never think about sex in the first place. If it was any other girl, she would have faced my wrath. But even though you are just few years younger than me, I think of you as my own child. I don't want anything bad happening to you. So hear me out. I think I know what we can do. As I said you can't watch two strangers having sex. But what if that someone is not a stranger?"
"What do you mean Di?" Shreya said, with surprise in her voice.
"Think about it for a moment, Shreya. The only way for you to witness a sexual encounter without facing any sort of consequence is if the person engaging in the act is someone you already know and trust. Someone who would be willing to do it with complete discretion, for your sake alone. And for that, there is only one person who could possibly fit the criterion," Rani replied softly, leaving her words to hang in the air.
A moment passed as the meaning of Rani's words sunk in.
Could it be? Was Rani suggesting what Shreya thought she was?
"Are you saying what I think you are?" Shreya asked, hardly daring to believe her ears.
"Yes, Shreya, I am," Rani replied, her voice calm and steady despite the unconventional nature of the proposal. "If you truly feel it is necessary for you to witness a sexual encounter in order to ease your mind, then I am willing to allow you to watch me."
"What are even saying Di?" Shreya asked, trying to act surprised but grinning inside her heart, "Di, this is my personal issue and I can't allow you to be involved in that. And even if I did, who would the other person be?" asked Shreya, although a little voice in her head was already anticipating the answer.
"Remember you mentioned the old beggar Chandu? I think your thought process was correct. His is old probably late 70s, he has probably lost his speech and can't form any sentences, and even if somehow manages to mention our encounter, no one would believe him. Instead, they'll lynch him for trying to tarnish our reputation." Rani said sternly, cutting off Shreya's train of thought.
"But I can't allow you to do that for me, Dee. That's just too much," Shreya said, still grinning from within.
She was half-relieved, half-excited. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
"But I'll do it only if you promise me three things, Shreya," Rani interrupted her thoughts.
"Anything Di, just name it," Shreya replied eagerly.
"First, you will never tell anyone about this, not even your brother," Rani asserted firmly.
"Of course, Di. I would never betray your trust like that," Shreya responded, her voice filled with conviction.
"What else, Di?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.
"Second, you need to keep this entire experience between us. You cannot let it affect our relationship or your brother's. Promise me you won't let it change anything," Rani requested, ensuring that her sister-in-law understood the gravity of the situation.
"I promise, Di. I won't let it change anything between us. You're still my role model, and my respect for you remains unwavering," Shreya assured her, grateful for her sacrifice.
"Good. Now, the final condition is that this will happen once and only once. After this, I don't want to hear about this again. I don't want you to be consumed by this curiosity anymore, and I believe this one experience will be enough for you to move on," Rani concluded, her voice steady and firm.
Shreya couldn't believe what she was hearing. After months of scheming and planning, she had never imagined that her wish would be granted in such a way. Yes, she had been desperate to satisfy her insatiable curiosity, but she had never wanted to compromise her relationship with Rani in the process. Her heart was heavy with gratitude, and she couldn't wait to share the news with her accomplice.
Little did Shreya know, this seemingly harmless encounter would unleash a whirlwind of emotions and desires, forever altering the course of her life.
She felt wicked, penetrating the forbidden corners of the web in the stillness of the night.
Her heart hadn't accounted for the visceral tsunami that tumbled her senses. Panic churned her insides; who were these people sharing their most intimate moments? How had they eroded societal norms, while she had never even been kissed? Her grip tightened on the computer mouse. The tiniest flick, and she'd tumble back to innocence, but she was already hooked. She wanted to know more. She didn't need sleep, she needed answers. The clock had just struck 2. It was way past her bedtime but she didn't care. She had day off from university next day.
She was a studious girl, an ideal daughter in Indian household. Her parents had passed away in an accident when she was just **. Around the same time, her brother was newly married to this extremely conservative Indian housewife named Rani. She was Indian orthodox values personified. She was a hot-headed and wouldn't sly away expressing her emotions (engulfed in raging fire) if she thought something was not right as per as tradition. Every in the neighborhood were shit scared of her and tried to avoid getting in any confrontation with her. But along with her terrifying outbursts, she had always been like mother to Shreya. Shreya's brother was a grown up but was still rather childish in nature. So after her parent's death, Rani became kind of person with authority, taking care of everything.
Shreya had always been a cultured, obedient girl who would never try to engage in something that went even mildly against what she considered against "traditions". But influenced by Rani's fiery nature, these traits for her were amplified.
But that wasn't the case tonight.
Tonight, she felt a magnetic pull as she dove back into the illicit corners of the internet. It was an electric sensation, nerve endings snapping, as though she were embarking on a dangerous, exhilarating ride.
The house was blanketed in stillness, the only sounds her quiet breath and the click of the mouse against the desk. The darkness offered the cover she needed to explore, like her own secrets shrunk down into images on a screen. It was intoxicating.
The floor creaked as she shifted in her chair, nerves tingling. She clicked on the most trending video on the site. What was going to happen next was going to build her entire perspective about what sex is really like in real life.
The video was by a studio that primarily focused on catering women degradation kink. But she was unaware of that. Afterall, this was her first time encountering porn. So she didn't know how to differentiate between the various genres or categories.
She had stumbled upon it out of pure curiosity, but she felt sick to her stomach, the taste of bile rising in her throat. Was this pleasant for the girl who filmed these intimate acts? The desperation, the sheer animalistic instinct, it all looked distasteful to her. She clicked on other videos in recommended tab, but she didn't know that all of the videos were by the same studio. She jumped video to video, feeling disgusted about the state of degradation these moms, sisters, daughters, and partners were reduced to.
She felt her palms dampen each time a simulated moan assaulted her ears, and her heart raced within the confines of her ribcage as though it was trying to crawl out of her body. Why? Why would anyone want to do this?
If this was real life—and Shreya wondered momently if such a lurid existence could even be fathomed—then it was not for her. To find out if sex was really like this in real life, she made a few internet searches "Do you women get used like a toy while having sex?" or "Is every man the same as these videos?" The answers to her late-night queries frightened her young mind. As if the videos alone weren't terrifying enough, Shreya read chilling accounts from women who experienced far uglier situations. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't ignore the rising panic—confirming her worst fears—that real-life sex may indeed be as unsettling as these videos.
She turned off her computer and jumped in her bed, tears flowing down her cheeks. She was scared, she knew at one point in her life, she had to give in to the ways of the world, she had to lose her virginity. She was already 21 and the cultured from which she came from, that was a ripe age for a girl to get married. Rani, her sister-in-law, was 20 when she got married. The day was almost near, when the society would fix her marriage with someone she didn't even know, and she had to live with this stranger for her entire life. The thought of what may transpire on her wedding night, haunted her young and innocent mind. It was the fear of the unknown that propelled her to search the answers. Her imaginative mind was on the brink of losing its sanity, like a ship caught in the tempest of the unknown sea, craving for the solid ground of information.
Shreya's world was doubly sheltered with a cultured upbringing and the conservative orthodoxy of Rani.
She picked up her phone and searched for a forum where Indian women discussed their sexual experiences and desires. She wanted to read about experiences of real Indian women, their fears, hopes and dreams. She stumbled upon an Indian erotica forum where women dared to share their deepest fantasies and experiences in erotic details. As she read through, she found mixed opinions on how their husbands would perform sex on them. Most accounts stated that the wife was just a tool for a husband to use after a long day at work.
The wives described their husbands' rigorous thrusting, biting and even hitting them, just to satisfy their own hunger. It was a horrible thought, Shreya's heart sank. She couldn't imagine her to-be husband touching her like this.
She didn't yet know the pleasures and pains of sexual intimacy. It amused her, thrilled her and appalled her, all at once. It was the mystery that captivated her the most.
She was petrified by the unknown, but also drawn to it.
The stories of some women had shown her that maybe sex wasn't always awful. Some women described how they loved the feeling of connection, the physical and emotional pleasure that came from making love. The uncertainty of what lay ahead of her was a disturbing thought, but Shreya couldn't help but feel a little excited too.
Her late-night explorations left her with more questions than answers. But one thing was certain, she couldn't ger ready for marriage without knowing what she was getting herself into. She needed to see a real-life sexual encounter for herself.
She needed a solid plan. She couldn't slip up. Everything that she could possibly think of was at stake. She couldn't just ask a couple to allow her to witness the act or even sneak up on them. That was out of the question. But she was not one to give up. Her determined mind started turning gears, and she started formulating a chain of events that would enable her to quench her curiosity. As stated earlier, she couldn't ask someone, she had to gaslight the person into committing such acts.
She started thinking who could be her test subject. It had to be someone who couldn't blackmail her whatsoever and someone who could be gaslighted into performing an act like that. The biggest task for her was to find a male. Surely any random guy would happily engage in sex considering every single guy was always horny but the problem was he could easily blackmail her in the future.
The person had to be someone who, even if he opened mouth, no would believe. Someone who'd have no value in society. Someone
who was as good as dead.
The next morning, Shreya sat in her living room, mulling over her problem. She looked out of the window at the bustling streets of Jaipur, already swelling with the heat of the day.
And then it hit her.
She recalled a man she had seen many times on her way to university. He was a poor, old man, with shabby clothes, a sour expression and an uncombed beard. He appeared to be a burden to the world. People often crossed the street to avoid coming close to him. His mere existence
was a nuisance that elicited disdainful sniffs and narrowed eyes from passersby, and Shreya was sure that nobody would believe him if he claimed he had witnessed her scheming.
In that moment, Shreya resolved to execute her plan to view a real-life sexual encounter involving this man, known only as Chandu. This man, weather-beaten and invisible to the world, would serve as the perfect pawn for her experiments, safe and disposable according to society.
Shreya's pure and untainted mind weighed the pros and cons of her decision. While she felt pity towards the plight of Chandu, she also realized she needed a helpless human being to ease her through this delicate situation. Despite her privileged upbringing, she was aware of the adversities of poverty, and though it pained her, it was her misfortune that such a creature had to give meaning to her underground experiment.
Her mission now was to locate candidate number two. She required an individual who would eagerly engage in carnal activities with a destitute soul, all the while accepting the notion of Shreya's silent observation. Her astute intellect devised this plan solely as a preventative measure against potential coercion.
She couldn't trust anyone from her social circle with something as private as this, especially not someone who would have power over her.
She needed someone vulnerable enough to be manipulated and controlled, who owed her a debt of gratitude.
After much deliberation, she zeroed in on the first person that came to her mind—Rani Gupta, her beloved sister-in-law. Rani and Shreya had shared heart-to-heart conversations after her parents' death, forging a deeper bond than any typical relationship shared between a bhabhi (sister-in-law) and a nanand (husband's sister). Shreya knew she could trust Rani without hesitation, and Rani had always placed her needs above her own.
Shreya began planning the execution of her scheme, precisely aware that Rani would be a difficult target. She plotted numerous potential scenarios, each one more elaborate than the last, her mind growing increasingly convoluted with every new step. Each new iteration failed to meet her expectations, and as she launched deeper into her twisted machinations, she couldn't help but question her own motives.
Shreya knew that what she was asking of Rani was a repulsive request.
It was vile to ask her to commit such an act, and it sat heavy in her heart. Shreya has always such high regards for Rani, seeing her as the epitome of grace, wisdom, and strength. But the only way Shreya could think of putting her plan into action was by leveraging the trust they shared.
Shreya decided to draft a letter, to evoke the emotions that would persuade Rani to become a party in her scheme. She wanted Rani to understand the depth of her curiosity without spelling it out.
She knew that if she were to directly convey her unusual desire, Rani would instantly decline, offended by the mere suggestion. No, Shreya needed to manipulate the situation with the delicate touch of a master puppeteer. She knew that Rani's protective nature would prove to be the key to unlock Shreya's uncharted world.
So, she drafted a letter filled with lies, coated in the truth. She carefully weaved a tale of a close friend, experiencing distress and confusion, bombarded by relentless questions of sexual nature.
She painted a vivid picture of helplessness, a young girl desperately seeking answers, yet failing to find any reliable sources of guidance. This unfortunate soul was a victim of her upbringing in a sheltered environment, which had kept her in the dark.
Shreya pour all her own feelings and thoughts onto the paper, making it seem like a friend was agonizing over her sexuality, struggling to comprehend the physics of intimacy and the concept of true love.
She created a girl who was utterly lost, and stressed the importance of her friend resorting to this extreme act as a final attempt to quench her inquisitive mind. With a lump in her throat, Shreya rewrote the letter several times, desperate to ensure that every word exuded sincerity and urgency.
Dear Rani,
I hope you are well. I find myself writing to you today, burdened by a troublesome dilemma plaguing my closest friend.
This issue has been weighing heavy on her heart and her conscience, as she wrestles with the storm brewing within her, convinced that the stifling traditions of our society have failed to prepare her for the complicated path of intimacy and carnal desires she now faces. As her confidant, she believes that I can be a guiding light, piercing through the cloud of confusion that surrounds her.
However, I must confess that I am woefully ill-equipped to provide her with the answers she seeks.
Much like my dear friend, I too have been cloistered in the same stifling environment that carefully guards the secrets of intimacy. I have been raised in the same traditions, the same values, and under the same protective umbrella that she has known her entire life. And yet, I am the one she trusts to guide her, even though I am just as Much like my dear friend, I too have been cloistered in the same stifling environment that carefully guards the secrets of intimacy.
But, at the same time, I can't help but feel that I am failing her as a friend. I want to help, I want to provide her with the knowledge and understanding that she so desperately craves, but I simply don't know where to begin.
She has been a victim of explicit videos online. The women in those videos are used as a mere tool of pleasure, like disposable objects with no will of their own. She asked me if sex in real life was same as in those videos. You know she is around my age and she will be getting married soon. She wants to prepare for what's to come. So in order to help her out, I went online and browsed various forums and got the same answer. Every housewife online stated they were just a tool for their husbands to relieve frustration and desires.
They are promoted from a daughter to a wife, and suddenly it's their sole duty to sexually please their husband, their needs and desires being pushed aside. Is that all a women is meant to be in our society?
Somewhere in my mind, I too pose the same question. So Di, I am sorry but I need to help out a friend and find the answers myself. We have arranged a meeting place at an hotel where she'll bring an old beggar with whom I am supposed to have sex with to find all our answers. Hoping you can forgive me.
Regards,
Shreya
P.S. Please do not share this letter with my brother or anyone else.
Shreya's heart ached as she sealed the envelope, sealing her fate to Rani's discretion. She wondered if Rani would understand, if the unconventional nature of the request would make her balk, or if she would take up the challenge and fight for her young sister-in-law's enlightenment.
Days crept by like weary travelers, burdened with the weight of anticipation.
Shreya went about her daily life in a mechanical haze, mechanically fulfilling her academic obligations and household chores, while her mind sprinted ahead of her, leaping the immense hurdles in place for the grand event. As careful as she was, she couldn't quite escape from the clutches of perpetual worry. What if Rani betrayed her trust? What if someone found out about her sinister plans?
Thoughts of confrontation and humiliation played on a loop, haunting her sleepless nights. Regret weighed heavily on her heart. Even though she was anxious, Shreya was certain she was prepared to confront and challenge the deep-seated beliefs and conventions ingrained in her culture.
One day she finally found an opportunity. Her brother was going away on a business trip for 6 months.
This presented Shreya with the perfect cover for her scheme. With her brother no longer in the household, Rani's attention would naturally turn towards Shreya. She carefully placed the envelope on the dinning table early in the morning and left the house.
Shreya had planned everything meticulously. She knew her brother's departure date weeks beforehand and took advantage of the situation to further her plans.
As she walked down the lonely streets of Jaipur on her way to university, she couldn't help but think of the impending confrontation with Rani. She felt a surge of anxiety wash over her like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her under its crushing pressure. She wondered if Rani would understand the depth of her curiosity or if she would be met with rejection and disappointment. Will Rani get the hint and realize that "the friend" Shreya keeps talking about is, in fact, Shreya herself or would she misinterpret Shreya's intentions and assume that her young sister-in-law was merely trying to protect her friend's identity?
Shreya's imagination ran wild with endless possibilities. She had always admired Rani's strength and wisdom, and in many ways, she idolized her. However, as she contemplated the impending confrontation, she couldn't help but question her own motives.
Was her curiosity the sole driving force behind this elaborate scheme, or was there an element of rebellion against societal norms and expectations? Were her actions a manifestation of her desire to take control of her own sexuality, in a world where women were often subjected to the whims and desires of men?
Regardless, Shreya knew that her actions were irreversible, and that she had embarked on a journey from which there was no turning back.
Rather than dwelling on the consequences, she chose to focus on the potential rewards of her efforts. If successful, Shreya would be thrust into a new realm of understanding and meaning in her life. Although it scared her, she knew that there was something profoundly alluring about the possibility of gaining this valuable knowledge.
But Shreya also felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. Her actions were a calculated risk, and she knew that the stakes were high. If her scheme were discovered, the potential consequences were too dire to consider.
She was lost in her thoughts when her phone rang.
It was Rani, and Shreya's heartbeat quickened as she answered the call.
"Hello, Rani?" she said, her voice trembling slightly.
"Yes, it's me. Listen, I got your letter. " her voice trembling with anger. "I'm so disappointed, Shreya. I never thought you would be capable of something like this."
Shreya felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and no words came out of her mouth.
She sat there, silent and tense, listening to Rani scolding her on the other end of the phone. She felt trapped, guilty, and scared.
Replaying the words of the letter in her head, she felt foolish for thinking Rani would understand her intentions. The letter, which was supposed to be her ticket to a little more knowledge and experience for the sake of her future, now seemed as though it was going to rupture the bond that she held so dear with Rani.
However, there was no taking anything back now, and Shreya realized that she had to brave the consequences of the path she had chosen. She took a deep breath and finally found her voice.
"I'm so sorry, Rani. I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just wanted to find the answers to my questions. My curiosity is killing me, and I thought this was the only way. I have to do what I have to do. I am so far off, there's no turning back." said Shreya with a tremble in her voice. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the worst. A wave of remorse washed over her as Rani's
harsh words bore holes through her heart.
Rani sighed on the other end, and Shreya could hear her take a deep breath. "Listen to me carefully. What you are planning to do is wrong on so many levels, Shreya. And I'm not just talking about the moral aspects of such an act. You are setting yourself up for a dangerous path. What if things go wrong? What if word gets out?
Do you have any idea how it would affect your reputation, Shreya? Your family's reputation?"
Rani paused, and Shreya could almost feel her disappointment radiating through the phone. "You have so much potential, Shreya, so much going for you. Don't throw it all away for a few moments of fleeting satisfaction."
Shreya's heart sank. Her plan had failed, Rani didn't get the hint at all.
Shreya tried to explain her intentions, but Rani refused to listen. The disappointment in Rani's voice made Shreya feel like a failure. And yet, she couldn't suppress the yearning that surged in her heart.
Rani continued to speak, "Shreya, I know you must have your reasons, but this idea of yours is not just foolish, it's dangerous. I won't let you ruin your life just to satisfy your curiosity. Do you understand me?"
Shreya nodded quietly, feeling the weight of her decision settle heavily upon her.
"Then what should I do Di? I don't know. Seems like I am at a dead end. You and Brother will marry me off soon to some stranger. Who knows what that stranger might do to me. All I have learnt about sex is that its painful for the girl. If I got to witness sex in real life it alleviate all my doubts but that's out of question. I can't do that without any repercussions. So my only bet is to go and experience it first hand. I have found this really old beggar to use as tool. Even if he opens his mouth, no one would believe him. Sorry Di but that's the only way out," Shreya pleaded, both desperate and hopeful.
Rani sighed again, her frustration palpable. "I understand that you are scared, Shreya. But this is not the answer. I cannot let you go down this path."
Shreya's heart sank, but she knew that she had to keep pushing. "Di, I know it's not ideal, but I have to do something. I cannot enter a marriage without knowing what to expect.
I am aware that my decision will have life-altering consequences, but I cannot stand the unknown."
Shreya's voice was filled with desperation and determination, and Rani could not deny the gravity of her situation. Rani knew that Shreya was not the type of girl to back down from a challenge, and her persistence was proof of that.
For a moment, she remained silent on the other end of the phone, contemplating the weight of Shreya's words.
"Listen to me carefully, Shreya. I understand your fears, and I don't want you to enter marriage blind," Rani finally said, with a hint of resignation in her voice. Shreya's heart skipped a beat. Was Rani finally going to agree to her plan?
"But what you are proposing is still dangerous and inappropriate," Rani continued.
"But I might have an alternative solution. It will require you to trust me, Shreya. Completely."
Rani's tone was different now. It was softer, more thoughtful. Shreya felt a glimmer of hope ignite in her heart.
"I'm listening, Di," she said, her voice trembling slightly.
She braced herself for Rani's next words, unsure of what they might be.
"Both the option you mentioned involve too much risk and I won't allow you going doing that path. Asking any stranger to allow you to watch them would tarnish our reputation in society. And you engaging sexually yourself is out of question. I don't know why you even thought of that. So there is only one option left. What you are doing is completely wrong in the first place. A girl should never think about sex in the first place. If it was any other girl, she would have faced my wrath. But even though you are just few years younger than me, I think of you as my own child. I don't want anything bad happening to you. So hear me out. I think I know what we can do. As I said you can't watch two strangers having sex. But what if that someone is not a stranger?"
"What do you mean Di?" Shreya said, with surprise in her voice.
"Think about it for a moment, Shreya. The only way for you to witness a sexual encounter without facing any sort of consequence is if the person engaging in the act is someone you already know and trust. Someone who would be willing to do it with complete discretion, for your sake alone. And for that, there is only one person who could possibly fit the criterion," Rani replied softly, leaving her words to hang in the air.
A moment passed as the meaning of Rani's words sunk in.
Could it be? Was Rani suggesting what Shreya thought she was?
"Are you saying what I think you are?" Shreya asked, hardly daring to believe her ears.
"Yes, Shreya, I am," Rani replied, her voice calm and steady despite the unconventional nature of the proposal. "If you truly feel it is necessary for you to witness a sexual encounter in order to ease your mind, then I am willing to allow you to watch me."
"What are even saying Di?" Shreya asked, trying to act surprised but grinning inside her heart, "Di, this is my personal issue and I can't allow you to be involved in that. And even if I did, who would the other person be?" asked Shreya, although a little voice in her head was already anticipating the answer.
"Remember you mentioned the old beggar Chandu? I think your thought process was correct. His is old probably late 70s, he has probably lost his speech and can't form any sentences, and even if somehow manages to mention our encounter, no one would believe him. Instead, they'll lynch him for trying to tarnish our reputation." Rani said sternly, cutting off Shreya's train of thought.
"But I can't allow you to do that for me, Dee. That's just too much," Shreya said, still grinning from within.
She was half-relieved, half-excited. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
"But I'll do it only if you promise me three things, Shreya," Rani interrupted her thoughts.
"Anything Di, just name it," Shreya replied eagerly.
"First, you will never tell anyone about this, not even your brother," Rani asserted firmly.
"Of course, Di. I would never betray your trust like that," Shreya responded, her voice filled with conviction.
"What else, Di?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.
"Second, you need to keep this entire experience between us. You cannot let it affect our relationship or your brother's. Promise me you won't let it change anything," Rani requested, ensuring that her sister-in-law understood the gravity of the situation.
"I promise, Di. I won't let it change anything between us. You're still my role model, and my respect for you remains unwavering," Shreya assured her, grateful for her sacrifice.
"Good. Now, the final condition is that this will happen once and only once. After this, I don't want to hear about this again. I don't want you to be consumed by this curiosity anymore, and I believe this one experience will be enough for you to move on," Rani concluded, her voice steady and firm.
Shreya couldn't believe what she was hearing. After months of scheming and planning, she had never imagined that her wish would be granted in such a way. Yes, she had been desperate to satisfy her insatiable curiosity, but she had never wanted to compromise her relationship with Rani in the process. Her heart was heavy with gratitude, and she couldn't wait to share the news with her accomplice.
Little did Shreya know, this seemingly harmless encounter would unleash a whirlwind of emotions and desires, forever altering the course of her life.
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