MRS NADIRA KHALID KI KAHAANI UNKI APNI ZABAANI(Incomplete)

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PART THREE

Do din baad Amjad Khalid ka haal poochnay kay liay phir aaya. Wo kaafi dair Khalid aur mairay saath baatain karta raha. Uss din mein nay phir mehsoos kiya kay wo mairi taraf waisi hi nazron say daikh raha hai jaisay Hospital mein daikha karta tha. Uss ki aankhain ghoom phir kar ya to mairay chehray ka tawaaf karti rehti theen ya phir mairay mammon par aa kar tik jaati theen. Agar mairi aankain uss say chaar hoteen to wo foran Khalid ki jaanib mutawajo ho jaata. Mein to do din pehlay uss ka rawaya daikh kar yehi samjhi thi kay shayad ab baat khatam ho gai hai laikin yaqeenan aisa nahi tha. Laikin mairay mammon kay muqaablay mein ab wo mairay chehray ko ziyaada daikh raha tha. Mujhay nahi maaloom kay aisa kiyon tha. Buhat dair tak choohay billi ka ye khail chalta raha. Jaatay huay Khalid ki mojoodgi ki waja say wo mujh say galay nahi mila iss liay mein nahi jaan saki kay wo mairay mammon ko haath lagaana chaahta tha ya nahi. Maira dil to chaaha kay mein ussay khuda haafiz kehnay kay bahaanay uss kay saath kamray say nikal kar baahar jaoon aur daikhoon kay wo mujhay haath lagaata hai ya nahi magar phir na-janay kiyon mein nay aisa nahi kiya.

Hospital mein apni choot dainay ka jo janoon mujh par sawaar hua tha wo ab bhi waisay hi qaayum tha. Roz hi maira dil chaahta kay koi mujhay chod kar kai dafa khalaas karay ta kay iss tension say mairi jaan cchootay. Ye socchtay huay mairi choot garam ho kar geeli ho jaati aur mairi haalat aur kharaab honay lagti. Laikin mujhay samajh nahi aa rahi thi kay mein khalaas honay kay liay kiya karoon. Mujhay khud apnay aap ko khalaas karna accha nahi lagta tha aur na hi iss say mairi tassali hoti thi. Mein apni choot kay liay lund kahaan say laati. Mairay paas iss kay alaawa koi chaara nahi tha kay sabar karoon aur Khalid kay theek honay ka intizaar karti rahoon.

Khalid ki beemaari ki waja say mein kaafi dino say market nahi ja saki thi aur ghar kay liay rozaana istimaal ka buhat saara saamaan laana tha. Aik din dopehar kay baad mein nay soccha kay Khalid ab kaafi behtar hain iss liay mein market ho aati hoon. Mein nay apni nokraani aur driver ko saath liya aur shopping karnay nikal kharri hui. Abhi mein apnay ghar kay gate say nikli hi thi kay saamnay say Amjad ki gaarri aati nazar aai. Ussay daikh kar mein ruk gai. Wo apni gaari say utar kar mairay paas aa gaya aur poccha kay Phupi Nadira aap kahaan ja rahi hain. Jab mein nay bataaya kay mein market tak ja rahi hoon to wo bola kay mein bhi aap kay saath chala chalta hoon waapsi par Uncle khalid say mulaqaat ho ja’aiy gi. Mein nay kaha theek hai aisa hi kar laitay hain. Wo bola kay aap ka driver nokraani ko lay kar aap ki gaari mein hi waapas ghar chala ja’ayaiy aur aap mairi gaari mein aa ja’ayain. Mein nay un dono say kaha kay wo aisa hi karain. Mein khud utar kar Amjad ki gaarri mein baith gai aur uss nay driving seat sambhaal li.

Hum sarrak par aa’aiy to wo bola kay Phupi Nadira mein nay dopehar ka khaana nahi khaaya iss liay mujhay to iss waqt buhat zoron ki bhook lagi hui hai. Mein boli kay tum waheen ghar mein bata daitay to mein tumhaaray liay khaanay ka bandobast karti. Mein nay ussay ye bhi kaha kay hum ghar waapas chaltay hain wo khaana kha lay to phir nikal aa'iyain gay. Wo kucch socch kar kehnay laga kay aisa kartay hain kisi restaurant chaltay hain aur kucch kha kar phir shopping kay liay nikal ja’aiyain gay. Mein nay kaha kay mein na to tayyaar ho kar aai hoon aur na hi mein nay aisay kaprray pehan rakhay hain kay kisi restaurant ja sakoon. Wo hans kar bola kay Phupi Nadira aap har tarah kay kaprron mein acchi lagti hain balkay ye kehna chaahiay kay aap jo kaprray bhi pehan lain wo aap par acchay lagtay hain. Mein nay uss ki taraf daikha to wo jaldi say bola kay maira matlab hai agar aap ghar kay kaprray bhi pehan lain tub bhi itni hi khoobsurat lagain gi. Mujhay ye sun kar khushi to buhat hui laikin mein nay ussay koi jawaab daina munaasib nahi samjha. Bas hans kar itna hi kaha kay chalo ab ziyaada baatain na banao aur chup chaap gaarri chalaatay raho.

Uss nay kaha kay Phupi Nadira mein bilkul sacch keh raha hoon. Jab aap kabhi ghar say nikalti hain to kiya aap ko mardon ki gardanain apni jaanib murrti hui nazar nahi aateen? Mein nay jawaab diya kay mujhay mardon ki murrti hui gardanon aur ghoorti hui aankhon mein koi dilchaspi nahi hai. Wo bola kay mein kab keh raha hoon kay aap ko un mein dil-chaspi hai mein to aap mein unki dil-chaspi ki baat kar raha hoon. Mein nay jawaab diya kay mardon ka kiya hai wo to har aurat mein dil-chaspi laina apna paidaishi haq samajhtay hain aur agar koi aur na milay to raah chalti faqeerniyon ko hi ghoortay rehtay hain. Iss par wo buhat hansa aur kehnay laga kay Phupi Nadira waisay aap mardon ki khaslat say khoob waaqif hain. Mein nay daikha hai kay wo auratain jo ziyaada khoobsurat hoti hain mardon ki nafsiyaat ka ziyaada ilam rakhti hain kiyonkay unhay zindagi mein buhat baar mardon kay andar chupi hui ghilaazat ka saamna karna parrta hai. Apni iss indirect tareef par bhi mein chup hi rahi.

Issi qisam ki baatain kartay kartay hum aik five star hotel puhanchay jis kay restaurant mein barri acchi hi-tea mila karti thi. Mein Khalid kay saath buhat dafa yahaan aa chuki thi. Amjad nay khud to khaaya hi laikin mujhay bhi zabardasti buhat kucch khilaanay ki koshish karta raha. Mein nay barri muskhil say ussay yaqeen dilaaya kay mein khaana kha chuki hoon ab aur nahi kha sakti. Iss doraan agarchay wo kabhi kabhi sabjeeda bhi ho jaata laikin ziyaada tar hansi mazaaq ki baatain hi karta raha aur aisay jumlay bolta raha jin mein kaheen na kaheen mairi taareef zaroor posheeda hoti. Mairay chehray aur mammon mein uss ki dil-chaspi ab bhi qaayum thi. Lagta tha kay mairay mammon mein maqnatees fit hain jo uss ki aankhon ko musalsal apni taraf khainchtay rehtay thay. Mujhay ab uss ki taaka jhaanki say koi paraishaani nahi hoti thi balkay ab to mein uss ki bay-hooda baaton say bhi barri mehzooz honay lagi thi. Wo baatain hi aisi karta tha kay mein hansnay par majboor ho jaati thi. Hairat ki baat ye thi kay iss say pehlay mein nay ussay kabhi iss tarah ki tanz-o-mazaah say bhari hui guftagoo kartay nahi suna tha. Wo to fitratan hi kucch kum-go aur sanjeeda tha.

Koi dairrh ghantay baad hum uss restaurant say nikal kar market puhanchay jahaan mein shopping karnay lagi aur wo mairay saath saath hi raha. Shopping kay doraan mein nay mehsoos kiya kay agar store mein koi mard mairi taraf daikhta to Amjad ko accha nahi lagta tha aur wo ussay ajeeb ghussay waali nazron say ghoornay lagta jaisay abhi katcha hi chaba ja’aiy ga. Wo dunya kay saaray mardon ko bata daina chaahta tha kay mein uss kay saath hoon aur kisi aur ko mairay husan-o-jamal ko appreciate karnay ka koi haq nahi hai. Uss ka mairi waja say hasad mein mubtala hona kucch ajeeb si baat thi kiyonkay mard siraf ussi aurat kay saath doosray mardon ko bardaasht nahi kar saktay jis say unhay muhabbat ho. Wo aisi aurat ko dosron ki nazron say door siraf apnay paas aur siraf apnay liay mehfooz kar kay rakhna chaahtay hain. Laikin mein uss ki mehbooba nahi thi aur na hi kabhi ban sakti thi. Phir wo aisa kiyon kar raha tha?

Mein inhi socchon mein gharq thi kay uss nay mujh say kaha kay wo qareeb hi aik doosray store mein apnay liay kucch khareednay ja raha hai agar uss kay aanay say pehlay khareedaari khatam kar loon to yeheen uss ka intizaar karoon. Mein nay kaha theek hai. Kucch dair baad jab wo waapas aaya to uss kay haath mein teen barray barray dabbay thay. Uss nay mujhay nahi bataaya kay un mein kiya tha aur na hi mein nay poocha.

Jab mein nay shopping khatam kar li aur hum dono ghar jaanay kay liay gaari mein baith ga’aiy to uss nay do dabbay mujhay pakrra diay. Mein nay poocha ye kiya hai to wo bola kay Phupi Nadira mein apnay liay kaprray khareed raha tha to aap kay liay bhi ye do suit lay liay. Mein nay kaha kay mein tumhaari phupi hoon cheezain to mujhay tumhaaray liay khareedni chaahiyain. Wo bola kay Phupi Nadira aap bhi kamaal hi karti hain. Mein nay kon say tuhfon kay aath das hazaar dabbay aap par laad diay hain aur aap unkay bojh kay neechay dabi ja rahi hain jo aisi baatain kar rahi hain. Ye aik jorra aur aik saari hi to hai aur inka wazan itna ziyaada bhi nahi hai kay aap jaisi koi mushtandi khatoon inkay neechay dab ja’aiy. Mein nay kaha ulloo "mustandi" hota hai "mushtandi" nahi. Kehnay laga nahi aap siraf "mushtandi" hi ho sakti hain "mustandi" hona aap ki shaan kay khilaaf hai. "Mustandi" aur "mushtandi mein wohi farq hai jo "lambi" aur "buhat hi lambi" aurat mein hota hai. Uss ki oot pataang baatain sun kar mujhay bay-tahaasha hansi aaiy ja rahi thi. Waisay ab to mujhay uss ki har baat pay hi hansi aa jaati thi.

Mein nay buhat inkaar kiya magar wo baaz nahi aaya aur mujhay kehta raha kay mein wo dabbay khol kar daikhoon. Aakhir majboor ho kar mein nay dabbay kholay to aik mein buhat hi mehanga aur khoobsurat suit tha jabkay doosray mein barri umda silk ki saari thi. Mein shaadiyon aur doosri aisi taqreebaat mein saari pehna karti thi aur wo iss baat say waaqif tha. Shayad issi liay uss nay mairay liay saari khareedi thi. Iss mein koi shak nahi tha kay dono cheezain mujhay buhat pasand aai theen.

Wo jaan gaya kay mujhay uss kay dono tuhfay acchay lagay hain. Uss nay baat kartay kartay gaarri ka CD player on kar diya. Koi aurat barri hi pur-dard awaaz mein ga rahi thi. Wo kehnay laga sunain sunain Phupi Nadira ye barri khaas cheez hai aur siraf aap kay liay hai:

Raaz-e-ulfat cchupa kay daikh liya
Dil buhat kucch jala kay daikh liya

Aur kiya daikhnay ko baaqi hai
Aap say dil laga kay daikh liya

Wo mirey ho kay bhi mirey na huay
Un ko apna bana kay daikh liya

Faiz takmil-e-gham bhi ho na saki
Ishq ko aazma kay daikh liya

Mein to uss ghazal mein kho si gai. Ajeeb dukh-bhari ghazal thi jo sunnay waalay ko dil-girifta kar daiti thi. Buhat saada zabaan laikin intahai pur-asar. Shair sun kar nakaam muhabbat say waabasta dukhon, taqleefon aur mehroomiyon ka khayaal aata tha. Laikin iss kay bawajood music bhi buhat shaandaar tha aur gaanay waali bhi barray ghazab ki thi. Uss nay iss ghazal ko gaanay ka haq ada kar diya tha. Mein nay Amjad say poocha kay ye kon si singer hai to uss nay bataaya kay ye Bangladesh ki singer Feroza Begum hai jo Faiz Ahmad Faiz ki ghazal ga rahi hai. Mein nay uss ki taraf daikh kar hanstay huay kaha kay tum iss bhari jawaani mein aisi ghazlain kiyon suntay ho jin mein dil jalaanay aur ishq ko aazmaanay kay tazkiray hon? Dil ko kaheen koi rog to nahi laga baithay? Aur haan zara ye to batao kay kiya koi aisa bhi hai jo tumhaara ho kay bhi tumhaara nahi ban saka? Mujhay bhi to uss ka naam pata chalay? Balkay mein to kehti hoon kay mujhay uss say milwao bhi ta kay mein poochoon kay wo tumhaaray saath aisa zulm kiyon kar rahi hai.

Uss nay gardan morr kar mairi taraf ajeeb si nazron say daikha jin mein kaheen door buhat door afsurdgi cchupi hui thi. Mein nay to aisay hi mazaaq kiya tha magar kam-az-kam wo uss waqt buhat hi sanjeeda mood mein tha. Pata nahi uss ki aankhon mein aisa kiya tha kay maira dil zor zor say dharraknay laga. Mein bila kisi saboot kay jaan gai kay ghazal kay ashaar aur uss ki afsurdgi ka ta'aluq mujh say tha kisi larrki say nahi. Mein chup ho gai aur satpata kar jaldi say baat badalnay ki koshish karnay lagi. Amjad say mairi sharmindgi cchupi na reh saki. Ussay jab kucch aur nahi soojha to wohi ghazal dobaara laga di.

Raaz-e-ulfat cchupa kay daikh liya
Dil buhat kucch jala kay daikh liya

Aur kiya daikhnay ko baaqi hai
Aap say dil laga kay daikh liya

Wo miray ho kay bhi miray na huay
Un ko apna bana kay daikh liya

Faiz takmil-e-gham bhi ho na saki
Ishq ko aazma kay daikh liya

Iss dafa mein ghazal sunnay kay saath saath sochti bhi ja rahi thi.

Uss ka jumla mairay zehan mein goonj raha tha “sunain sunain Phupi Nadira ye barri khaas cheez hai aur siraf aap kay liay hai.” Saaf zaahir hai kay wo iss ghazal kay zarye mujhay koi paighaam daina chaahta hai. Ye bhi sahi hai kay uss ki ulfat ka raaz mujh say hi muta’aliq hai jis nay uss ka dil itna jalaaya hai. Laikin mein nay to uss kay saath kabhi koi ziyaadti nahi ki phir wo ye kiyon socch raha hai kay mujh say dil lagaanay kay baad ab daikhnay ko kucch baaqi nahi reh gaya? Aur jab uss nay kabhi mujhay apna banaaya hi nahi to mein kaisay uss ki ho kay bhi uss ki na honay ki qasoor-waar ho sakti hoon? Phir ye takmeel-e-gham kiya hai jo ishq ko aazmaanay kay bawajood nahi ho saki? Kiya mairay badan ko haasil kar laina uss kay nazdeek ishq ko aazmaana hai jis mein naakaami ka matlab ye hai kay gham ki takmeel nahi ho saki? Ya iss takmeel-e-gham ka kucch aur matlab hai? Laikin sab say barra sawaal ye tha kay kiya wo mujh say muhabbat karta tha ya nahi. Shayad haan. Shayad nahi. Mujhay haan waala jawaab ziyaada sahi lagta tha laikin agar aisa tha to phir bas qayaamat aanay hi waali thi. Maira sar chakra gaya aur bila-waja hi mairi aankhon mein aansoo tairnay lagay jinhay mein nay barri mushkil say control kiya.

Ghazal khatam hui to baat badalnay kay liay mein nay uss say saari ki qeemat poocchi.

Uss nay aisay sar jhatka jaisay kisi khawaab say baidaar hua ho aur bola kay Phupi Nadira iss ki qeemat dafa karain bas aap ye saari ghar jaatay hi pehan kar daikhain aur Uncle khalid ko dikha’yain. "......aur Uncle Khalid ko dikha'yain." Mein iss jumlay kay peechay cchupi hui uss ki majboori ko jaan sakti thi. Wohi takmil-e-gham kay na honay aur ishq ko aazmaanay ka masla tha. Saari wo mairay liay khareeday aur pehan kar mein Khalid ko dikhaoon. Ye apnay ishq ko aazmaana nahi tha to aur kiya tha? Agar Khalid mairay shohar na hotay to wo kabhi unhay mujh par aik nazar daalnay ki bhi ijaazat na daita. Uss ka bas chalta to mujhay apnay kamray mein qaid kar kay rakhta ta kay mein uss kay alaawa kisi ko nazar na aa sakoon. Ye socchtay huay khushi aur imbisaat ki aik taiz lehar mairay tan badan mein phail gai. Kisi ki muhabbat ka mehwar hona har aurat kay liay uss kay zinda honay ki sab say barri nishaani hai. Mein apnay aap ko achanak barra halka phulka mehsoos karnay lagi.

Maahol ko khushgawaar rakhnay kay liay mein nay kaha kay kiya paagal ho abhi to saari ka blouse aur petticoat darzi say silnay hain tub hi issay pehan sakoon gi na ya aisay hi unstitched kaprra badan say lapait loon. Uss nay hanstay huay kaha kay haan ye to mein bhool hi gaya tha aap unstitched kaprra kaisay lapaitain gi bhala makhlooq-e-khuda ko paagal karna hai kiya? Ye saaf saaf mairay badan kay sexy honay ki taraf ishaara tha. Mein nay kucch kehnay kay liay munh khola laikin wo mujhay jawaab ka moqa diay baghair bola kay Phupi Nadira aap jaisi itni lambi aurat par saari lagti bhi buhat acchi hai kiyonkay ye lambi auraton ka hi libaas hai aur aap to khair say maha-lambi balkay mahatma Gandhi waali mahatma-lambi hain. Aap ko apnay jaisi to tub hi nazar aati ho gi jab full size aaeenay mein daikhti hon gi agarchay ye bhi barra masla hai kiyonkay cchotay motay aaeenay say to aap ka kaam chalta nahi ho ga aur aaeenay say baahar koi doosri milni buhat mushkil hai. Mein uss ki bakwaas sun kar bay-ikhtiyaar hans parri.

Uss nay baat jaari rakhi aur kaha kay waisay saari hai barra ajeeb libaas. Daikhain na agar aap kisi sanjeeda mehfil mein ja rahi hoon to iss ka pallu utha kar sar par daal lain aur kharray kharray “Bibi Pakeeza Khatoon” ban ja’aiyain. Laikin agar kisi shaadi mein jaana ho to issi saari ko aisay pehan lain kay pait aur kamar nazar aatay rahain. Lain ab aik second mein app “Miss Sexy Begum” ban gaeen. Ye to aik ticket mein do mazon waali baat hui na. Alag alag mehfilon mein jaanay kay liay kaprray badalnay ki zaroorat hi nahi. Mujhay uss ki baat sun kar phir hansi ka doara parr gaya. Waisay mein nay kabhi saari kay baaray mein iss andaaz say nahi soccha tha laikin uss ki observation bilkul sahi thi.

Khair hum kucch dair baad ghar puhanch ga’aiy. Amjad koi aik ghanta Khalid kay paas baitha aur unkay saath gup shup lagaata raha. Unki beemaari kay baad wo un say bhi kaafi free ho gaya tha aur dono khoob baatain kiya kartay thay. Mein bhi kaafi dair unkay saath hi baithi rahi. Haalaankay iss mein koi aisi baat nahi thi laikin phir bhi pata nahi kiyon mein nay Khalid ko nahi bataaya kay Amjad nay mairay liay kaprray khareeday hain. Mein socch rahi thi kay mujhay aik buhat taweel arsay kay baad kisi nay koi cheez tuhfay mein di thi. Khalid aisay aadmi nahi thay jo kisi ko tuhfay tahaaif daitay. Apnay aur unkay istimaal ki sab cheezain mein khud hi market say laaya karti thi. Aaj jab Amjad nay mujhay suit aur saari kay tuhfay diay to andar hi andar mujhay buhat khushi hui thi. Uss din uss kay chalay jaanay kay baad bhi Faiz ki wo ghazal musalsal mairay zehan mein goonjti rahi. Baar baar ajeeb si udaasi mujhay ghair laiti aur mein depressed ho jaati. Mujhay maaloom tha kay aisa kiyon ho raha tha magar mein iss baaray mein socchna nahi chaahti thi. Baaz haqeeqaton say munh morr laina hi behtar hota hai.

Aglay do teen din wo nahi aaya. Bas har roz mujhay phone kar kay buhat dair tak baatain kiya karta. Mein ussay miss kiya karti thi aur akailay mein bhi uss ki fazool baaton ko yaad kar kay hansti rehti thi. Mein nay uss ki di hui saari bhi apnay tailor say silwa li thi aur kisi munaasib moqay kay intizaar mein thi kay ussay pehan sakoon. Jab saari tayyaar ho kar aai to mein ussay pehan kar apnay bedroom kay closet mein lagay huay qad-e-aadam aaeenay kay saamnay ja kharri hui aur apnay aap ko naaqidaana nazron say daikhnay lagi. Chehray kay khoobsurat naqoosh, gora rang, baal, lambi gardan, chorray kandhay, mazboot baazoo, motay aur seedhay kharray huay mammay, ghair-maamooli tight pait, chorray chootarr aur daraaz qad. Mein saari zindagi apnay badan kay baaray mein bad-gumaani ka shikaar rahi magar ab mujhay apna ang ang accha lagnay laga tha. Mairay badan kay kisi aisay hisaay par aik ounce charbi bhi nahi thi jahaan ussay nahi hona chaahiay tha. Das baara saal kay excercise routine nay rang dikhaaya tha. Aaj mujhay apna aap bilkul perfect lag raha tha. Mairay zehan mein khushi aur musarrat ki lehrain uthnay lageen. Mein nay shukar kiya kay bay-waqoofi mein Breast Reduction Surgery nahi karwa baithi warna ab mujhay buhat afsos hota. Mein ye khul kar nahi socchna chaahti thi kay aakhir ab mujhay apnay mammon ka size kum karnay ka afsos kiyon hota magar itna jaanti thi kay afsos hota zaroor.

Phir aik raat koi aath bajay kay qareeb Amjad ghair-mutawaqo tor par aa gaya. Kucch dair pehlay hi mein uss kay baaray mein socch rahi thi. Jab wo aaya to mein kitchen mein kucch kaam kar rahi thi. Andar aa kar uss nay shayad nokraani say maira poocha aur Khalid kay kamray mein jaanay say pehlay seedha mairay paas aa gaya. Mujhay uss kay aanay ka ilam nahi tha aur mein nay ghar kay aam say kaprray hi pehan rakhay thay. Uss waqt mein nay dopatta bhi nahi liya hua tha. Apnay motay aur tanay huay mammon ko hilnay say roknay kay liay mein amooman ghar mein bhi brassiere pehnay rakhti hoon laikin uss raat mein nay brassiere bhi nahi pehna hua tha kiyonkay kisi kay aanay ka andaisha nahi tha aur ghantay dairrh kay baad mujhay waisay bhi so jaana tha. Kitchen mein uss waqt mairay alaawa aur koi nahi tha.

Amjad nay achanak kitchen mein daakhil ho kar mujhay salam kiya aur seedha aagay aa kar mujh say galay milnay laga. Wo poori tarah mujh say baghal-geer hua aur apna aik haath mairi kamar mein daal kar mairay chootarron say kucch oopar rakh diya aur doosra haath barrha kar maira aik mamma pakarr liya. Brassiere na honay ki waja say ab maira poora mamma qameez kay neechay uss kay haath mein aa gaya. Mein to hairat kay maaray kucch bol hi na saki aur ghair-iraadi tor par apna sar neechay jhuka liya. Uss nay mairay mammay ko apnay haath say dabaatay hua thorra sa oopar uthaaya aur barri bay-baaki say apna angootha uss kay nipple par rakh kar do teen dafa ussay oopar neechay kiya. Mujhay apna nipple uss kay angoothay kay saath kabhi oopar aur kabhi neechay hota hua mehsoos ho raha tha aur badan mein halki halki halchal shuru ho gai thi. Uss nay apna munh mairi gardan kay qareeb kiya aur bilkul aahista say ussay choom liya. Mairi gardan aur seenay kay oopar waalay hissay say uss ki garam saansain takrra rahi theen.

Mairay badan mein ab chiyontiyaan si dorrnay lageen aur achanak hi nabz ki raftaar taiz ho gai. Maira dil chaaha kay mein sab kucch bhool jaoon aur apnay badan ko bilkul dheela chorr doon. Maira jo mamma uss kay haath mein tha uss kay nipple mein ajeeb tarah ki meethi meethi gudgudi shuru ho gai thi jo ab pooray mamamy mein phailti ja rahi thi. Phir chand lamho mein hi ye gudgudi khud-ba-khud mairay doosray mammay mein muntaqil honay lagi. Mujh par barri taizi say bay-khudi taari ho rahi thi aur mairay hawaas gum ho rahay thay. Maira apna badan mairay qaaboo say nikla ja raha tha. Laikin phir achanak mujhay Khalid ka khayaal aaya aur mein hosh mein aa gai. Mairay dil-o-dimaagh ko aik aahista aahista barrhtay huay khof nay ghairna shuru kar diya. Mein apnay dono haath uss kay aur apnay jismon kay darmiyaan lay aai.

Mein nay Amjad say apna aap cchurra kar peechay hatnay ki koshish ki. Uss nay mairay chehray ko oopar uthaaya aur mairi aankhon mein jhaanka. Uss ki aankhon mein apnay liay shadeed muhabbat mujhay buri tarah pighlaanay lagi. Mein nay uss say door honay ki mazeed koshish ki to wo mujh say aur bhi chipak gaya aur mairi kamar par rakhay huay apnay haath ko neechay la kar mairay aik chootarr ko pakrra aur zor laga kar mujhay apni taraf khainch liya. “Nadira.” Uss kay munh say sargoshi mein maira naam nikla. Zindagi mein pehli baar uss nay mairay naam kay saath lafz phupi nahi lagaaya. Mujhay nahi maaloom kay wo mujh say kiya kehna chaahta tha laikin uss kay munh say iss tarah apna naam sun kar mein phir kamzor parrnay lagi aur maira khof bhi taizi say kum honay laga. Mein nay apnay haath sides par gira diay.

Apnay aap ko roktay roktay haath paoon phir dheelay cchorr dainay ki waja say mein uss kay saath aur ziyaada chipak gai. Mein itni lambi cchorri, sehatmand aur mazboot aurat honay kay bawajood uss kay haathon mein bilkul aik mitti ki gurrya ban kar reh gai thi. Ye kaisa paagal-pan hai! Mein nay soccha. Uss kay hont ab bhi mairi gardan par rakhay huay thay aur uss ki nam zabaan mujhay apni jild par mehsoos ho rahi thi. Uss nay mairi gardan kay nichlay hissay ko aik baar phir buhat hi aahista say chooma aur apnay haath mein pakrray huay mairay mammay ko zara zor say dabaaya. Uss kay hont mairi gardan par dheeray dheeary harkat kartay huay mairay gaalon aur honton ki taraf aanay lagay. Uss ki saans bhi ab phoolnay lagi thi. “Nadira.” Uss nay phir duhraaya. Ye lafz mujhay paagal kiay day raha tha. “Ye mumkin nahi hai kay mein tumhaari ho kay tumhaari na rahoon. Tum nay to kabhi mujhay apna banaaya hi nahi to phir ye gila kaisa?” Mairay bay-qaaboo dil nay cheekh kar uss say shikwa kiya.

Laikin zaahir hai wo mairay dil ki awaaz nahi sun sakta tha iss liay uss ki taraf say iss shikway ka koi jawaab nahi aaya. “Nadira.” Uss ki awaaz mairay kaano say phir takrai. Pata nahi baar baar wo kiyon mujhay tapti rait par ghaseet raha tha. "Wo miray ho kay bhi miray na huay: Un ko apna bana kay daikh liya." Kiyon soccha tum nay aisa? Mein nay phir dil hi dil mein uss say sawaal kiya. Iss dafa bhi koi jawaab nahi aaya. Aata bhi kaisay mein to khud say baatain kar rahi thi. Mujhay wo din yaad aaya jab Amjad class three mein parrhta tha aur mein uss say milnay uss kay college gai thi. Recess ka waqt tha aur mujhay daikh kar apnay college kay blazer aur trousers mein necktie laga’aiy wo paaglon ki tarah bhaagta hua aaya tha aur mujh say lipat gaya tha. Mein nay uss din college ki canteen say ussay Fanta ki do bottles pilai theen. Jab mein jaanay lagi to uss nay kai baar peechay murr murr kar udaas aankhon say mairi taraf daikha tha jaisay mujhay rokna chaah raha ho. Maira dil bhar aaya. Theek ussi lamhay mujh par ye khofnaak raaz bhi khul gaya kay mein uss say muhabbat karnay lagi hoon. Jurm mein lipti hui aur gunaah mein lithrri hui muhabbat. Insaan ko sharminda aur sharam-saar kar dainay waali muhabbat. Shayad aisi muhabbat mein hi takmeel-e-gham nahi hua karti.

Uss kay munh say baar baar apna naam sun kar mujhay lag raha tha jaisay maira badan garam ho kar aag ki bhatti mein tabdeel ho raha ho. Mairi choot kay andar bhi kaheen say halka halka paani ris raha tha. Seenay kay andar maira dharrakta hua dil jaisay pasliyon ko torr kar baahar nikalna chaahta tha. Mujhay dar lag raha tha kay kaheen wo mairay honton ko choomnay ki koshish na karay. Laikin mairay dil mein kay kisi goshay mein ye tamanna bhi thi kay aisa ho ja’aiy. Mein nay uss ka aik bazoo pakarr liya aur apnay honton par uss kay bosay kay liay khud ko zehni tor par tayyaar karnay lagi.

Bilkul ussi waqt kitchen kay baahar corridor mein mairi nokraani kay qadmon ki chaap sunai di. Maira dil ucchal kar halaq mein aa gaya aur mein aasmaan say zameen par aa gai. Mein nay buhat hi aahista laikin sakht lehjay mein Amjad kay kaan mein kaha kay wo mujhay foran chorr day koi aa raha hai. Uss nay apnay haath mein pakrra hua maira mamma cchorra aur bijli ki si taizi kay saath mujh say alag ho gaya. Mein bhi uss say door hat kar apni qameez theek karti huay jaldi say kitchen kay doosri taraf chali gai. Laikin aisa karnay kay doraan bhi mujhay nazar aa gaya kay uss ki jeans raano kay beech mein say sooji hui hai. Maira dil ab bhi barri zor zor say dharrak raha tha aur aisa lag raha tha jaisay mairi taangon say jaan nikal gai ho. Uss kay kitchen mein aanay say lay kar nokraani ki aamad tak ziyaada say ziyaada do dhai minute ka waqt guzra ho ga laikin mujhay aisa lag raha tha jaisay ghanton guzar ga'aiy hoon. Aur ye do dhai minutes mairi zindagi ko yaksar badal dainay waalay thay. Khalid kay Hospital mein admit honay waalay din say lay kar aaj tak mein nay aik anjaani simt mein saalon ka safar to taiy kar hi liya tha. Aik buhat barra aur gehra garrha tha jis mein maira wajood phisalta hua girta chala ja raha tha. Ab to mairay aur Amjad kay darmiyaan koi bhi parda haa’il nahi reh gaya tha. Aaj mairay aur uss kay jismon mein aik naya aur khufia rishta ustawaar ho gaya tha. Mein jaanti thi kay baat ab yahaan ruknay waali nahi hai aur wo sab kucch zaroor ho ga jo nahi hona chaahiay. Maira dil doobnay laga.

Nokraani kitchen mein aai to Amjad mujh say Khalid ki tabiyat kay baaray mein poochnay laga. Mein nay apnay dharraktay huay dil par qaaboo paanay ki koshish kartay huay uss ki taraf daikha. Uss ka chehra bilkul maamooli sa laal zaroor tha laikin iss kay alaawa wo normal tha aur aisay zaahir kar raha tha jaisay kucch hua hi na ho. Haan uss ki aankhon mein aisi chamak zaroor thi jo mein nay iss say pehlay kabhi nahi daikhi thi. Maira badan bhi shayad nokraani kay khof ki waja say barri had tak apni normal haalat ki taraf waapas loat raha tha. Mairay dil ki dharrkan bhi behtar ho gai thi aur choot ki geelaahat mein bhi kami aa gai thi. Mein nay Amjad ko bataaya kay Khalid to so chukay hain laikin unki tabiyat ab buhat behtar hai. Uss nay kaha kay Phupi Nadira koi baat nahi mein to waisay hi aa gaya tha. Agar Uncle Khalid soay huay hain to unhay bilkul jagaanay ki zaroorat nahi hai. Wo kitchen mein parri hui aik kursi par hi baith gaya. Nokraani kucch dair baad apnay quarter mein chali gai aur mein nay ja kar corridor mein khulnay waala darwaaza band kar diya.

Phir mein corridor say kitchen ki taraf chal parri jahaan wo baitha hua maira intizaar kar raha tha. Mairay dil nay phir zor zor say dharrakna shuru kar diya tha.