30-09-2019, 06:19 PM
# 7
By definition, balance sheets must balance, the Chartered Accountant in me said............
In real life it was a whole different proposition. On the assets side, I had nothing to show given that the little pride of a bereaved husband that I had retained had been totally laid to dust with Lisa’s capitulation. That ringing laughter of derision - of the butt naked greek god look alike with the majestic manhood swaying about like a signature mascot - had driven home a stark message. Lisa, my erstwhile soul mate had willfully submitted to the pleasures that IT could provide, even though she had been relegated to the position of a fucktoy. Inside me, there was nothing save rage - futile rage - that of an impotent man.
Wait a minute, wait a minute though. Was there was more to it - perhaps a whole lot more - than what met the eye? Throughout that episode, I now recollected that, Lisa had never looked at me directly once. Was it because she was under some compulsion? Or was all of it just an illusion, or just a scene conjured by the evil monster? Hadn’t I myself scattered her ashes in the flowing water of the Ganges. Was my past karmas of previous births catching up in some sickening but incomprehensible way? All in all, I was being played upon, my emotions mauled over and perhaps my sanity dangerously dithering on the edge - UGGH!
Rationally I weighed in my options. Honestly, there was none. Why, oh why in the name of everything sacred, did I have to go the river bank that fateful night - especially after that supposedly devil’s worshipper had warned me to stay away. It was “Temptation” for sure being coupled with my great “Ego” – both having treacherously guiding me along that slippery path of ruin and disaster - onto my present situation - onto doom.
And then there was the question of conflicting faiths and respective myths. Religion had been invented to explain the phenomenon of death - that finality of life - which neither reason nor intellect could explain. And that very logic had been upended on me in the persona of my departed wife and an incarnation of the devil (sic) fornicating and begetting …
Are the dead differentiated on the basis of religious affiliation? Are the spirits allowed to mingle? If there is a Devil, then where went the Angels? Can a dark one from one faith cohort with that of another? What hold did IT have over Lisa? Most importantly what was IT? “I am the Original Sin”, IT had thrown those words at me. Was that mockery or plain truth? And IT had sought my opinion on “Jesus” “Oh my God! How was I supposed to have answered him so that he didn’t take offense? … … so many questions! … … so so many … … yet I knew not a single answer!!!
One thing I knew though - that I would find no remedy in a church or in a temple or with an exorcist. God had already abandoned me - that much I knew for sure - right from the days of Lisa’s sickness. Neither would the marvels of modern medical science be able to help me out. For all things said and done, IT would never allow me that escape chute. Talking of escape, getting out of that rest house or fleeing from Bhopal didn’t seem a worthwhile solution. If I got back to Mumbai, IT would surely follow me there and a whole lot of unwarranted complications would definitely ensue.
So I would have to brave it out here. I would have to do IT’s bidding that is to seduce a newly wed sweet girl Dolly who also happened to be the daughter of one of my close business clients viz. Jaichand - all morality be thrown to the wind…
Else, in the least, I would have to become a mute spectator in a surreal drama featuring my dearest Lisa merrily fucking away my own relatives, friends and acquaintances. At the last performance; I could clearly see it now - it wasn’t as if IT had been seducing my dear departed wife - but in fact, had been systematically banging my mind. And like a victim in the snare of a rapist, I had begged, cried my eyes out and pleaded helplessly to be spared and finally resigned to the shameful degradation. In other words, I had let him do what all he wanted to and just waited for it all to be over…
X X X X X
I nipped outside, onto the common veranda and rang the ghanti. Old Ramu clambered up the stairway slowly.
“I will have my dinner in my room.”, I returned to the sanctuary of my room.
The sanctuary of my room was very important to me. I still didn’t have the courage to face either Dolly or Tarun at the common dining table downstairs. Also, I could securely renew my acquaintance with Mr. Officer’s Choice in the meantime - the one companion I could entirely trust.
X X X X X
I surfaced to reality with that knock on the door. Automatically I glanced at the old wall clock. It read 9.40. My God! Was it that late? Mr. Officer’s Choice was such a sport! Throughout our meeting, he had been a wonderful companion - always keeping his thoughts to himself and allowing me to have my say. The near empty level of the bottle wore ample testimony to our friendship. All the same, I was a bit riled that Ramu had delayed so much.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in”, I hollered in a hoarse voice.
Before my eyes, the twin doors were gently pushing inwards. On the entrance, a laden tray in hand stood Dolly with that beatific smile.
I was speechless! As she walked in, I was suddenly aware of the surroundings - the open bottle of whisky, empty 7up bottles, the glass and stray peanuts on the table and to top it all, the whole room reeking of spirit. Could it have been any worse!
Nonchalantly she swayed in and surveyed the tell-tale signs of bacchanalia.
“Achha!”, she exclaimed raising her eye brows a bit, “So this is what kept you from joining us downstairs.” There was mischief in her eyes.
I came out of the recliner on unsteady legs, mentally cursing that imbecile Ramu for depriving me of the comforting influence of Mr. Officer’s Choice.
“Oh my god!”, I blubbered in shock, “Where is Ramu?”
“Why sir?”, she continued in that seductive tone , “This also is our house – isn’t it?” In a way she was right, for this rest house belonged to her father’s farm. “You are the one – the only one who is the guest here.” Her words … so pure … so sensual … like pearls dropping on glass.
“And Tarun?”, another croak from me.
“Snoring away”, she gave a short laugh; “Shall I serve now?” She lowered her lashes…
Without waiting for an answer; she moved to the round table, set aside the odd assortments of the drinks paraphernalia, laid down the plates and started serving the paranthas, chicken curry and salad. Picking up the glass, she moved to the bathroom to wash it and returned along with the water jug. I was beyond any rational thought now and meekly obeyed when she made a sign for me to start eating. Disregarding the other spare chair in the room and without a tinge of self consciousness, she sat down on my bed - to help out in the serving - and very much within my touching distance. Midway through the meal, I started to think “What was this angel doing in my room … … so late at night?” A lump rose in my throat and I choked for suddenly I flashed back to the morning scene of grabbing her hand. Shit! What a lech I had presented myself as to her earlier.
I looked at her radiant face and spoke.
“Dolly, I am sorry”, I dropped my gaze, “that incident in the morning … when I had clutched your arm ….”
Peals of musical laughter emanated from her. “What’s the problem … I had liked it very much …” With that she raised her hand and gently placed it on my bare forearm. Electric shock coursed through my entire body. I froze.
The penny had dropped…
I knew immediately why she was here. The words she had spoken couldn’t have belonged to her. There was IT - lurking somewhere near; and Dolly was just playing out as per IT’s directions…
By definition, balance sheets must balance, the Chartered Accountant in me said............
In real life it was a whole different proposition. On the assets side, I had nothing to show given that the little pride of a bereaved husband that I had retained had been totally laid to dust with Lisa’s capitulation. That ringing laughter of derision - of the butt naked greek god look alike with the majestic manhood swaying about like a signature mascot - had driven home a stark message. Lisa, my erstwhile soul mate had willfully submitted to the pleasures that IT could provide, even though she had been relegated to the position of a fucktoy. Inside me, there was nothing save rage - futile rage - that of an impotent man.
Wait a minute, wait a minute though. Was there was more to it - perhaps a whole lot more - than what met the eye? Throughout that episode, I now recollected that, Lisa had never looked at me directly once. Was it because she was under some compulsion? Or was all of it just an illusion, or just a scene conjured by the evil monster? Hadn’t I myself scattered her ashes in the flowing water of the Ganges. Was my past karmas of previous births catching up in some sickening but incomprehensible way? All in all, I was being played upon, my emotions mauled over and perhaps my sanity dangerously dithering on the edge - UGGH!
Rationally I weighed in my options. Honestly, there was none. Why, oh why in the name of everything sacred, did I have to go the river bank that fateful night - especially after that supposedly devil’s worshipper had warned me to stay away. It was “Temptation” for sure being coupled with my great “Ego” – both having treacherously guiding me along that slippery path of ruin and disaster - onto my present situation - onto doom.
And then there was the question of conflicting faiths and respective myths. Religion had been invented to explain the phenomenon of death - that finality of life - which neither reason nor intellect could explain. And that very logic had been upended on me in the persona of my departed wife and an incarnation of the devil (sic) fornicating and begetting …
Are the dead differentiated on the basis of religious affiliation? Are the spirits allowed to mingle? If there is a Devil, then where went the Angels? Can a dark one from one faith cohort with that of another? What hold did IT have over Lisa? Most importantly what was IT? “I am the Original Sin”, IT had thrown those words at me. Was that mockery or plain truth? And IT had sought my opinion on “Jesus” “Oh my God! How was I supposed to have answered him so that he didn’t take offense? … … so many questions! … … so so many … … yet I knew not a single answer!!!
One thing I knew though - that I would find no remedy in a church or in a temple or with an exorcist. God had already abandoned me - that much I knew for sure - right from the days of Lisa’s sickness. Neither would the marvels of modern medical science be able to help me out. For all things said and done, IT would never allow me that escape chute. Talking of escape, getting out of that rest house or fleeing from Bhopal didn’t seem a worthwhile solution. If I got back to Mumbai, IT would surely follow me there and a whole lot of unwarranted complications would definitely ensue.
So I would have to brave it out here. I would have to do IT’s bidding that is to seduce a newly wed sweet girl Dolly who also happened to be the daughter of one of my close business clients viz. Jaichand - all morality be thrown to the wind…
Else, in the least, I would have to become a mute spectator in a surreal drama featuring my dearest Lisa merrily fucking away my own relatives, friends and acquaintances. At the last performance; I could clearly see it now - it wasn’t as if IT had been seducing my dear departed wife - but in fact, had been systematically banging my mind. And like a victim in the snare of a rapist, I had begged, cried my eyes out and pleaded helplessly to be spared and finally resigned to the shameful degradation. In other words, I had let him do what all he wanted to and just waited for it all to be over…
X X X X X
I nipped outside, onto the common veranda and rang the ghanti. Old Ramu clambered up the stairway slowly.
“I will have my dinner in my room.”, I returned to the sanctuary of my room.
The sanctuary of my room was very important to me. I still didn’t have the courage to face either Dolly or Tarun at the common dining table downstairs. Also, I could securely renew my acquaintance with Mr. Officer’s Choice in the meantime - the one companion I could entirely trust.
X X X X X
I surfaced to reality with that knock on the door. Automatically I glanced at the old wall clock. It read 9.40. My God! Was it that late? Mr. Officer’s Choice was such a sport! Throughout our meeting, he had been a wonderful companion - always keeping his thoughts to himself and allowing me to have my say. The near empty level of the bottle wore ample testimony to our friendship. All the same, I was a bit riled that Ramu had delayed so much.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in”, I hollered in a hoarse voice.
Before my eyes, the twin doors were gently pushing inwards. On the entrance, a laden tray in hand stood Dolly with that beatific smile.
I was speechless! As she walked in, I was suddenly aware of the surroundings - the open bottle of whisky, empty 7up bottles, the glass and stray peanuts on the table and to top it all, the whole room reeking of spirit. Could it have been any worse!
Nonchalantly she swayed in and surveyed the tell-tale signs of bacchanalia.
“Achha!”, she exclaimed raising her eye brows a bit, “So this is what kept you from joining us downstairs.” There was mischief in her eyes.
I came out of the recliner on unsteady legs, mentally cursing that imbecile Ramu for depriving me of the comforting influence of Mr. Officer’s Choice.
“Oh my god!”, I blubbered in shock, “Where is Ramu?”
“Why sir?”, she continued in that seductive tone , “This also is our house – isn’t it?” In a way she was right, for this rest house belonged to her father’s farm. “You are the one – the only one who is the guest here.” Her words … so pure … so sensual … like pearls dropping on glass.
“And Tarun?”, another croak from me.
“Snoring away”, she gave a short laugh; “Shall I serve now?” She lowered her lashes…
Without waiting for an answer; she moved to the round table, set aside the odd assortments of the drinks paraphernalia, laid down the plates and started serving the paranthas, chicken curry and salad. Picking up the glass, she moved to the bathroom to wash it and returned along with the water jug. I was beyond any rational thought now and meekly obeyed when she made a sign for me to start eating. Disregarding the other spare chair in the room and without a tinge of self consciousness, she sat down on my bed - to help out in the serving - and very much within my touching distance. Midway through the meal, I started to think “What was this angel doing in my room … … so late at night?” A lump rose in my throat and I choked for suddenly I flashed back to the morning scene of grabbing her hand. Shit! What a lech I had presented myself as to her earlier.
I looked at her radiant face and spoke.
“Dolly, I am sorry”, I dropped my gaze, “that incident in the morning … when I had clutched your arm ….”
Peals of musical laughter emanated from her. “What’s the problem … I had liked it very much …” With that she raised her hand and gently placed it on my bare forearm. Electric shock coursed through my entire body. I froze.
The penny had dropped…
I knew immediately why she was here. The words she had spoken couldn’t have belonged to her. There was IT - lurking somewhere near; and Dolly was just playing out as per IT’s directions…
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