Misc. Erotica CHAMPA - EK AURAT YA KHILAUNA

[a.s.ghosh]

Dear author,

A review for whole series till now:

Disclaimer: I did not read this series of stories on xossip due to personal preference. I prefer different genre than this story (I am inclined to one man many women type, i.e Harem). However I tried it and liked it a lot that in itself is a testament to quality of storytelling displayed here, akin to a comedy novel being a favourite of Horror reading people.

Positives:
1. Character development: Nearly every character is quite complex and have different attributes. Even the extras are quite fleshed out. Also, most of the times characters act as per their attributes and not randomly, i.e, it is story being driven by characters rather than story driving the characters. Some inconsistencies that I noticed,eg Munim was explained later as full character arc of Munim came out,so I am very hopeful about some other thing I noticed.

2. Sex scenes are superb. It must be said that as I have personal preferences, I prefer reading Manu more than others but those scenes are also brilliantly written. Very few repetitions are there.

3. Good build up to sex as well as very different build up reduces repetitiveness.

Negatives:
I don't really like Hero's women fucking others, but that is my pet peeve and should not be considered criticism per say.

Some inconsistencies are there that needs to be sorted out, esp in motives but that may be coming in later scenes.
Eg: I was flummoxed by Munim's actions being against Manu in some very early scenes, but as his character arc got revealed, appeared he was actually not a side hero but actually a villain. This scene was brilliantly done.

Some suggestions (please don't change your way of storytelling on anybody's demand as every writer has different style):

Many a times, you appear to be providing English or Hndi translations with nothing new being added. It is a good thing, especially for people with difficulty in either of these languages but that should be marked by something like ((.....)) as that reduces pleasure of reading if you read something in say English and then again same thing in Hindi or vice versa. This would help in readers leave those parts.

Now a personal thing I would have liked to see more: It is clear that Manu has some divine blessing or sth when it comes to seduce women. However I used to like reading him showing his dominance by seducing mother/ wife/daughter in front of other man. Eg, the scene of Manu undressing Puna's mother in front of her husband even calling him kaka and such. These types of scenes appear to be missing a little bit. One other example that I liked was Seth's sons seducing wife of driver while he was driving, same as sister of driver. This gives a sense of competition and some complex emotions like powerlessness, jealousy,inadequacy, even greed (like for money or Champa) etc making the person tolerate.
Now a days, seductions is either like trade with Champa or done in absence or full willingness of male, that is also OK, but I personally liked such scenes where Manu took daughter, sister,wife while the guy was ambivalent. I do not like cuckold a lot, more like soft version. Please see the scenes I mentioned. They are my fav scenes.

Conclusion:

Your storytelling skills are immense and so good, you made me not only read adultery story but absolutely love it, even the scenes where Manu is not there.

Kudos to you.

Regards,