Adultery Maa ka khayal

[Takecare]

Part 39

Ab aage...

Mai: aap lalit ko kaise jante hai?
Joseph: use kaun nahi janta yaha.. hero banne India se yaha chala aaya tha. Laga hoga usko ke wo james bond hai. Par fas gaya.
Uncle: james bond? 
Joseph: aur nahi to kya! Apna mal chhudane yaha tak aata hai koi?
Mai: to yaha wo kaid hai?
Joseph: aajivan ... Ek Minute unke bare me aap log kyo puch rahe ho? Kabir dur raho ha unse! Wo bahot khatarnak jagah hai. Pahale to ye bata tuje unse kya kam hai...
Uncle: pahale tu ye bata ke tu jis bhai albert ke liye kam karata tha wahi ye lalit ka boss hai?
Joseph: ha. Yaha ek hi bhai hai. Unke hath par chade to gaye kam se. Wo duniya se bhi utha de. Mere pas pani bhi nahi tuje pilane ko. To kam ho gaya ho to niklo mere par albert ke log nigrani karte hai.
Mai: aap desh kyo nahi chhod dete?
Uncle: wo to passport le jate hai. Wo thode hi kuch saf suthre log hai... Joseph tune albert ko dekha hai?
Joseph: nahi kabhi nahi. Kyo?
Uncle: tu tarife bahot kar raha hai to socha ke tu janta hai use. Kam karta hai to... Kyonki mai shayad tera business set kar du vapas. 
Joseph: kaise?
Uncle: india se ek randi ka bandobast kiya hai maine tuje tera passport chhudane madad kar sakati hai. 
Joseph: par passport kyo chudwana hai mai dekh ab khalas ho gaya hu.
Kabir: hame lalit ko bachana hai. Lalit is ladake ka uncle hai...
Joseph: ye log darinde hai darinde.. agar mal pasand aa gaya to wo bhi yaha se bahar nahi ja payegi. Aur fir akela albert nahi baki ke log bhi unki gang se maze karenge unse...
Uncle: maal achcha hai. 10 12 ko handle kar sakati hai.
Joseph: are wo simple yammi yammi wala pyar nahi karenge. But ekdam joro se noch khane vala sex hoga...
Mai: joseph wo aap tension mat lo. Indian hai wo sab pe bhari padege.
Joseph: mai nahi manta bhai. Use batao ke yaha nasha karna padega. Mut pina padega. Chut aur gand me pura ka pura hath dalenge.. do do bhi dale ye log...  Tu samajta nahi. Ye darinde hai darinde tuje samaj nahi aata?
Uncle: sab maine socha hai waise plan ke mutabik gaya to albert ke alawa use koi nahi chhuega.
Joseph: wo kaise
Uncle: wo tu muj par chhod de. Wo randi bahot achcha performance deti hai bistar par. To albert usiko apne hi pas rakhega. Jyada se jyada wo apne do tin dosto se share karega par niche logo se share nahi karega..
Joseph: aisa kaun sa pataka pakada hai bhai ke log duniya bhul jaye?
Uncle: aaja tere har gam dur ho gaye... Chalo mere ghar.
Mai: ha uncle chalo...
Joseph: ha ghar par hai... Par hame ek natak karna padega... 

Aur fir uncle ne sara plan joseph ko samajhaya... Mai to dang tha ke maa ka introduction ek randi ki hasiyat se hi ho raha hai. Uncle use meri maa hi nahi man rahe the. Bas ek randi hai ghar pe padi hai... Muje kya. Maa agree hai to wo unki pasand hai unki life hai... Mai bhi kya karata... Par maa inhe dekh ke mangi? Ye to bhikhario ka sardar lag raha hai. Pata nahi ye nahaya bhi hoga ya nhai. Dadhi to dekho sale ki... Fati shirt chadda pahana tha aur wo bhi fata hua piche se. Matalab kulhe dikh rahe the. Ye pakka kabhi business karta tha? Kabir uncle bhi karte the. Par dekho thode to saf suthre the. Par itna kharab gunda hai albert ke inka ye hal hai? 

Joseph: dekh kabir ab to mera dhandha nahi raha ke mai dekh ke ya istemal kar ke jan lu ke kaisa hai mal.
Uncle: maal kadak hai maine istemal kiya hai...
Joseph: par mai to jab mal bechta tha to mai pahale chakhta tha aur fir un logo ko deta tha. Ta ke koi complaint na aaye. Aur mera istemal karne ka tarika alag hai. Agar ye mal dhasu nikla to samaj le I am back in the market. Mere pas ab yahi ek rasta chhoda hai albert ne.
Uncle: to istemal karke dekh lena..
Joseph: is hal me?
Uncle: are randiyo ko farak padata hai kya ke kau kis hal me hai?
Joseph: bat to sahi hai. Aisi kaisi randi le kar aaya hai tu sale?
Uncle: tu dekh aur ek bar chadh ke dekh un par agar maza naa aaye to nam badal dena mera
Joseph: are mera lund to javab dene laga abhi se. Par sala khane ko milega na kuch?
Uncle: pine ko bhi milega. Bas ye kam kar de. Tuje tera business milega aur muje mera dost lalit. Fir ham log chale jayenge india.
Joseph: randi yaha rahane ko taiyar hai?
Mai: are nahi nahi brother use to le kar jana hai. Wo to daana hai...
Joseph: tarifo ke anusar wo agar badi randi nikli to tumhe kya lagata hai albert jane dega? Ke chalo chod liya maza aaya le jao? Usko to fir jab albert ko nai chut nahi milegi isse bhi badhiya tab tak yahi rahana padega...

Ab meri fati.. uncle ne ishara kiya ke mai hu na tention kyo leta hai aur hindi me bataya ke mat bhul ye hamare liye chara hai. Ye koi business nahi kar payega hamara pura intezam ke bat. Muje to ab dar hi lagata tha... Dur kahi koi khanjar ghum raha tha aur hamne bola bhai udhar kaha ja rahe ho meri gand to idhar hai wala scene ho gaya tha mera.. ham log bate karte karte pahunch gaye hamare ghar. Meri maa as usual saree pahane darvaja khola...

Joseph to dekhta hi rah gaya.. par maa ka muh khula rah gaya ke ye ham kis bhikhari ko utha laye hai... Par swagat kiya hamara aur wo kitchen me chali gai...

Joseph: achcha hua tune shadi kar li fir se.
Uncle: maine? Na maine to kuch shadi wadi nahi ki hai.
Joseph: to ye kaun thi?
Uncle: are yahi to wo randi hai...
Joseph: par ye to gharelu lag rahi hai.
Uncle: gharelu hai mana par randi hi hai.
Joseph: nahi nahi bhai. Gharelu hai to inke bas ki bat nahi...
Uncle: suman randi bahar to aa...

Uncle ne maa ko bulaya aur wo pani le kar aai...

Uncle: ye mera friend hai joseph. Ye bola ke kuch chize tere bas ki bat nahi.

Note: ye sari bate tuti futi english me ho rahi thi. Joseph thodi bahot english bol pa raha tha baki ham sab ka bhi yahi hal tha. Uncle aur mai dhang ka bol pa rahe the.

Maa: wo kya...
Joseph: tum randi ho?

Direct question se wo bhi thodi si dar gai.

Uncle: ha ye prostitute hai india se. 
Joseph: kitne logo se soi hai abhi tak...

Maa ka randi ka interview chalu hua...

Uncle: panch
Joseph: use bol ne de na... 
Uncle: bolo suman dare bina. Ye mera achcha dost hai. Aur inki badolat hamara kam bhi jaldi khatam ho jayega.
Maa: ok. 6
Joseph: abhi tak bas 6 ke sath hi soya hai? Bachcho se chudvati hai ya mardo se.
Maa: mere pati aur kabir do hi mard baki sab bachche...
Joseph: fail super fail hai... Badan mast hai par ye sahan na kar paye... Iske bas ki bat hi nahi. Jao aur pati ko sikh do te sab bhul jao.
Uncle: shadi shuda hi hai aur ek bachcha bhi nikal ke bada kiya hai teri nazro ke samne ye...
Joseph: ye randi pan ki nishani to hai ke bachche se chudva liya. To fir tere 3 tin dosto ne...
Mai: joseph hamne 4 bachcho ne mil kar use tagada ragada hai. Ek sath chut me tin lund bhi isne liye hai aur gand me bhi.
Joseph: satyanash. Tab to chut aur gand sab fat chuke honge
Kabir: nahi waise to kasi hui hai. Par randiyo ke chut gand kabhi tight thode hote hai
Joseph: par ye bol raha hai tin ek sath
Kabir: matalb ye randi ki aukat bata raha hai. Ke tin lund ek sath le sakati hai...
Joseph: aur tune choda. Matalab achche se ragada na?
Kabir: ya yar. Bistar par ye yaha baithi hai utna shant nahi hai. Ekdam mazedar hai...
Joseph: chal thik hai to fir ek last round idhar ke randi bazar me le jata hu aur dekhte hai ke agar ek din me ye famous ho jati hai to albert samne se contact karega.
Maa: nahi nahi muje famous nahi hona.
Joseph: aap andar andar bat kar ke nakki kar lo ke kya karna hai.. yar muje khana khana hai. Kuch to kar...
Maa: mai khane ka bandobast karti hu... Aap naah lijiye...
Joseph: agar mujse isi hal me chudvale to tera audition idhar hi khatam. 
Maa: nahi. Tum gande ho.
Joseph: randi bazar me nah dho ke koi thode hi aayega. Matalab har koi nahi aayega.
Maa: par muje jana hi nahi
Joseph: itna mast badan banaya hai par tuje badan ko use karvana nahi aata. Ye javani ko kaise istemal kare wo nahi aata. Tu ye kar hi nahi sakati. Tere bas ki bat hi nahi. Ja apne bachche se chudva ke maze kar.
Maa: chahu to mai kuch bhi kar sakati hu...

Joseph baji mar gaya maa ko challenge de kar. Aur maa fas gai...

Joseph: are ja na. 5 6 mardo aur bachho se chudvane ka kam koi adventure nahi hai. Chhod na tere bas ki bat nahi tu kar hi nahi sakati...
Maa: Mai kar sakati hu..
Joseph: wo mut bhi pilayege
Maa: viry to waise bhi mai piti hi hu. Mut bhi pi sakati hu.
Joseph: sach batana kabhi piya nahi na?
Maa: to kya par mai chahu wo kar sakati hu. Mere badan ka muje pata hai ke mard ko khush karne layak hai..
Joseph: to chal aaja abhi mere god me aUr kiss de.
Maa: nahi pahale nahane ja...
Joseph: kyo utar gai sab akad...
Maa: challenge mat de. Mai jo chahu kar sakati hu. Uksa mat. Aur ja nahane...
Kabir: joseph man ja. Kyonki ye bimar ho gai to fir ye plan chopat ho jayega. Muje lagata hai ke promotion ka ye unique way hai. Sab ko bolna hai jaise chaho marji chod lo par naah ne ke bad hi milegi. Aao nahao aur ji bhar ke chodo... 
Joseph: ha ye idea chalega. Sab ko lagega ke market me naya mal hai ... Par teri price kya rakhe randi?
Maa: mai anmol hu. Mera dam kya lagaoge tum
Mai: maa akhir randiyo ke hi dam hote hai.  Aurato ke nahi. And aap an randi ho.
Maa: muje bhi dekhana hai ke mera dam kya lagaya ja raha hai. Aakhirkar aisi jawani ke tumare samne kya dam hai... janana hai muje
Joseph: tu jaise uchal rahi hai tuje free me service deni chahiye. Par jitna dam bada batayenge utna famous jaldi ho jayegi. Chal mai naha ne ja raha hu... Par... Aake khana kha kar mai dopahar ko chodunga tuje shanti se. Pata to chale tu randi bazar me chalegi ya nahi...
Maa: tu chodega muje? Tere aukat ki bat hai. Teri halat dekhi hai... Tu dhakke mar hi nahi payega...
Joseph: wo ham bad me dekhenge... Par ek bat. Tu randi hai to tu koi protection nahi pahanegi ya koi bhi nahi pahanega. Sab tere andar hi viry nikalenge...
Maa: ha muje koi condom se chode wo waise bhi pasand nahi hai
Joseph: kabir mere bhai perfect randi hai. Mai bahot kamaunga par ise kuch nahi dunga... Chal mai naha ne ja raha hu. Fir kabir ise kaha chodu? Muje achcha sa bistar chahie...
Kabir: wo chintaa mat kar. Itne sare bistar hai pura ghar hai. Kahi pe bhi chod lena.. ye gand bhi marva leti hai...
Joseph: tu randi bola matalab ab wo nahi bhi marvati hogi marvani padegi... Chal kaha hai bathroom...?

Aur wo nahane chala gaya...