05-01-2019, 12:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-01-2019, 12:40 PM by Ramesh_Rocky.)
Chapter-7
Avani paused, At that instant I hated my hair. Life went on normally for all, I guess though I was as good as dead. I had no sympathiser. Even my parents thought that I was really responsible for whatever was happening to me. Sometimes they would rebuke me for marrying without their consent and sometimes my mother would cry. I missed my children. I still do.
Finally, I could not control myself and I went back home and would you believe, I begged him to let me stay though half expecting to be kicked out again. But, Sumit let me stay. He looked like welcoming me. It appeared that something may have happened. Children were happy to see me. I too reconciled that I would not escalate matters, just to be with my Sumit and my kids. Somehow, I had a gut feeling that Anitya was not meeting Sumit for some days. I was hopeful. He had hardly been talking to me but he wasn't rude either. That day Sumit came back from the party and he was happy. He went up to be with the children. Then it started raining heavily and you came.
Seeing your state, I knew that there was some trouble between you and Siddharth and I allowed my instincts to get better of me, I took advantage of the situation. Even today, I cannot forgive myself for what I did to you. It was so selfish of me to behave the way I did. Later on, I thought a lot about it and each time I honestly felt that I deserved it. How could I just simply turn out someone who had come for help. No, I was wrong. I don't blame Sumit for what he did.
it's at this point Avani was at the verge of tears. Her self-control was under severe duress. But she recovered. All were silent. Anitya came up and held her hand and said weakly, Avani, I feel like a criminal. How can you forgive me, us? Avani, you have suffered so much and you still blame yourself?
Avani smiled and said, Look Anitya, we are all victims of love. I loved Sumit and so could not tolerate losing him. It made me mad with anger and jealousy. Siddharth loved you more than anyone but he pushed you to Sumit, so that you could be happier. Your happiness was all he wanted and he was a victim of this love. Was it his perversion? Yes. Did he love you less? No. You fell in love with Sumit because he too loved you, but in your heart, there was only Siddharth. You may have momentarily forgotten that. It got hidden behind the immediate physical lust. You did not hurt me intentionally, but I hurt you knowingly.
Siddharth said, Avani, I think you are being too harsh on yourself. Under the circumstances any person would have reacted worse as compared to you. I just cannot imagine what you have gone through and your suffering isn't yet over. Obviously, you don't have a boyfriend and you are not staying with your parents. You have even refused financial help. How are you managing?
Avani said, Siddharth, I am sharing a room with a girl. She is nice and doesn't bother me much and doesn't ask a lot of questions. When I refused Sumit monetary help, I felt that I needed to stand on my own feet. The umbilical cord needed to be broken. Both from Sumit and my parents. Long-time back I had done a course of looking after special children. I am working as a volunteer in a school. Though I am a novice but I am learning and they pay me something that takes care of my rent and food. Being with these children in the school makes is an experience and I feel happier from inside and my own troubles appear unworthy. In them, there is only simplicity that I missed for so many years. Believe me, I am now much at peace.
For a long time, there was silence. Avani's story had deeply affected them all and they were just digesting everything they heard. For Siddharth and Anitya, Avani was never considered someone of any substance or consequence. But now they were attentive and had mixed feelings, one of guilt and sadness. Karan on the other hand was full of admiration and looked at her with great respect. All were looking at Avani and she sensed it. She was embarrassed and slowly got up. Karan asked her home address and the answer made his eyes widen. He was reluctant to take her there at night. Though not sure, the address appeared to be somewhere in Mumbai suburb. So, he proposed Avani to stay put for the night. Avani was embarrassed but Karan insisted.
Till now Siddharth and Anitya were not in a position to say anything but once Karan took over they too were relieved. Anitya took her to the spare bedroom. Avani sat on the bed and pulled Anitya by her hand and said, You both have suffered enough, I did not want to add to it so I did not want to say anything. But the best part is that both of you are together and I pray to God that all terrible things that you have gone through would vanish soon. Like a dream.
She then whispered, Look, we have both grown back our hair. I no longer need to beg Sumit and you have Siddharth. The worst is over.
She was tired and lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.
Avani paused, At that instant I hated my hair. Life went on normally for all, I guess though I was as good as dead. I had no sympathiser. Even my parents thought that I was really responsible for whatever was happening to me. Sometimes they would rebuke me for marrying without their consent and sometimes my mother would cry. I missed my children. I still do.
Finally, I could not control myself and I went back home and would you believe, I begged him to let me stay though half expecting to be kicked out again. But, Sumit let me stay. He looked like welcoming me. It appeared that something may have happened. Children were happy to see me. I too reconciled that I would not escalate matters, just to be with my Sumit and my kids. Somehow, I had a gut feeling that Anitya was not meeting Sumit for some days. I was hopeful. He had hardly been talking to me but he wasn't rude either. That day Sumit came back from the party and he was happy. He went up to be with the children. Then it started raining heavily and you came.
Seeing your state, I knew that there was some trouble between you and Siddharth and I allowed my instincts to get better of me, I took advantage of the situation. Even today, I cannot forgive myself for what I did to you. It was so selfish of me to behave the way I did. Later on, I thought a lot about it and each time I honestly felt that I deserved it. How could I just simply turn out someone who had come for help. No, I was wrong. I don't blame Sumit for what he did.
it's at this point Avani was at the verge of tears. Her self-control was under severe duress. But she recovered. All were silent. Anitya came up and held her hand and said weakly, Avani, I feel like a criminal. How can you forgive me, us? Avani, you have suffered so much and you still blame yourself?
Avani smiled and said, Look Anitya, we are all victims of love. I loved Sumit and so could not tolerate losing him. It made me mad with anger and jealousy. Siddharth loved you more than anyone but he pushed you to Sumit, so that you could be happier. Your happiness was all he wanted and he was a victim of this love. Was it his perversion? Yes. Did he love you less? No. You fell in love with Sumit because he too loved you, but in your heart, there was only Siddharth. You may have momentarily forgotten that. It got hidden behind the immediate physical lust. You did not hurt me intentionally, but I hurt you knowingly.
Siddharth said, Avani, I think you are being too harsh on yourself. Under the circumstances any person would have reacted worse as compared to you. I just cannot imagine what you have gone through and your suffering isn't yet over. Obviously, you don't have a boyfriend and you are not staying with your parents. You have even refused financial help. How are you managing?
Avani said, Siddharth, I am sharing a room with a girl. She is nice and doesn't bother me much and doesn't ask a lot of questions. When I refused Sumit monetary help, I felt that I needed to stand on my own feet. The umbilical cord needed to be broken. Both from Sumit and my parents. Long-time back I had done a course of looking after special children. I am working as a volunteer in a school. Though I am a novice but I am learning and they pay me something that takes care of my rent and food. Being with these children in the school makes is an experience and I feel happier from inside and my own troubles appear unworthy. In them, there is only simplicity that I missed for so many years. Believe me, I am now much at peace.
For a long time, there was silence. Avani's story had deeply affected them all and they were just digesting everything they heard. For Siddharth and Anitya, Avani was never considered someone of any substance or consequence. But now they were attentive and had mixed feelings, one of guilt and sadness. Karan on the other hand was full of admiration and looked at her with great respect. All were looking at Avani and she sensed it. She was embarrassed and slowly got up. Karan asked her home address and the answer made his eyes widen. He was reluctant to take her there at night. Though not sure, the address appeared to be somewhere in Mumbai suburb. So, he proposed Avani to stay put for the night. Avani was embarrassed but Karan insisted.
Till now Siddharth and Anitya were not in a position to say anything but once Karan took over they too were relieved. Anitya took her to the spare bedroom. Avani sat on the bed and pulled Anitya by her hand and said, You both have suffered enough, I did not want to add to it so I did not want to say anything. But the best part is that both of you are together and I pray to God that all terrible things that you have gone through would vanish soon. Like a dream.
She then whispered, Look, we have both grown back our hair. I no longer need to beg Sumit and you have Siddharth. The worst is over.
She was tired and lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.
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