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Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI
(13-07-2019, 11:17 PM)bhukhalund Wrote: Dear Dmahi, 

As I said earlier , your language is very good. You are writing a family incest story, Your plot is nice . Can I suggest few thing, 

You should not bring so many characters all at a time. Reader will not be able to establish link between them, hari Singh, madhav sing, ram sing, rati, Saroo and many others are there. you should bring one or two new characters in every update , not more...as other reader has also said "THERE WILL BE LOT OF RAITA ALL ALONG"   and you yourself will not be able to justify their character. 

IT IS NOT A CRITICISM , JUST A SUGGESTION,  BECAUSE IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO POST SO MANY UPDATE IN ONE DAY...

notwithstanding my suggestion , your story is nice..  
Dmahi, please focus on few characters at a time. You have so many female characters. Rotate erotica with them. Only Rati Devi won't work. So let Mahi seduces all female characters one at a time. Inside family members as well as  village girlsas well as enemies' daughters / wives.

So if you follow Mahi, you will control your all characters. If Mahi is interested in any female, there you can exploit other male character who has sexual relationship or crush on particular female. Rotate sex scenes with different characters but keep focus Mahi's point of view.

Secondly, I love big updates.. Congratulations. But..  long updates must have solid erotic, plots, characterization conent. Otherwise it is just Indian daily TV Rural based soap opera. And who cares mediocre work. So quality is important.
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Messages In This Thread
Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by Dmahi19 - 04-07-2019, 02:36 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 04-07-2019, 02:02 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 07-07-2019, 12:21 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-07-2019, 01:39 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 10-07-2019, 02:27 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 11-07-2019, 07:11 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-07-2019, 07:17 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-07-2019, 12:57 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-07-2019, 11:12 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by doctor101 - 15-07-2019, 07:28 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-07-2019, 01:59 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-07-2019, 11:08 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-07-2019, 12:17 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-07-2019, 12:41 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by shiva530 - 22-07-2019, 03:38 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-07-2019, 09:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-07-2019, 10:48 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-07-2019, 11:34 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 01-08-2019, 10:47 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-08-2019, 01:02 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 04-08-2019, 09:29 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 07-08-2019, 05:21 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-08-2019, 05:01 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 11-08-2019, 06:52 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-08-2019, 11:01 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-08-2019, 10:50 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 15-08-2019, 11:16 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-08-2019, 07:21 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 18-08-2019, 09:37 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-08-2019, 06:14 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-08-2019, 01:49 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parvivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-08-2019, 12:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-08-2019, 05:17 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-08-2019, 05:26 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-09-2019, 04:57 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-09-2019, 06:34 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-09-2019, 10:27 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-09-2019, 05:50 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-09-2019, 08:55 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-09-2019, 01:15 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-09-2019, 09:21 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-09-2019, 10:35 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 23-09-2019, 02:05 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-09-2019, 03:34 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-09-2019, 10:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-09-2019, 12:22 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-09-2019, 11:46 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 04-10-2019, 11:48 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 10-10-2019, 11:13 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by dark - 11-10-2019, 08:50 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 11-10-2019, 09:19 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-10-2019, 10:43 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-10-2019, 10:09 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 26-10-2019, 10:23 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 27-10-2019, 06:10 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-10-2019, 11:41 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-11-2019, 01:31 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-11-2019, 10:51 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-11-2019, 11:18 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-11-2019, 01:11 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-11-2019, 12:17 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-11-2019, 12:26 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-11-2019, 09:08 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-11-2019, 09:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-11-2019, 12:10 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 27-11-2019, 10:55 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-11-2019, 10:18 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 30-11-2019, 05:48 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-12-2019, 01:44 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 04-12-2019, 11:05 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-12-2019, 09:57 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-12-2019, 04:10 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 14-12-2019, 09:02 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-12-2019, 12:07 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-12-2019, 10:28 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-12-2019, 01:54 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 23-12-2019, 06:12 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-12-2019, 11:44 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 26-12-2019, 03:01 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-12-2019, 11:21 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-12-2019, 11:30 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-12-2019, 09:53 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-12-2019, 08:30 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-01-2020, 12:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-01-2020, 12:51 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-01-2020, 03:24 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-01-2020, 12:35 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 10-01-2020, 10:37 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-01-2020, 10:47 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-01-2020, 02:38 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-01-2020, 10:18 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-01-2020, 09:40 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-01-2020, 09:57 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-02-2020, 09:32 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-02-2020, 09:15 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 07-02-2020, 10:49 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-02-2020, 11:14 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-02-2020, 09:25 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 15-02-2020, 09:57 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-02-2020, 11:07 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-02-2020, 10:51 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-02-2020, 10:50 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 23-02-2020, 10:32 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-02-2020, 10:32 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-02-2020, 12:22 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 01-03-2020, 10:27 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-03-2020, 09:43 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-03-2020, 02:18 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-03-2020, 01:54 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 15-03-2020, 09:21 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-03-2020, 02:39 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-03-2020, 09:55 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-03-2020, 09:36 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-03-2020, 11:33 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-03-2020, 11:18 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 01-04-2020, 11:08 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-04-2020, 09:51 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-04-2020, 10:11 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-04-2020, 12:24 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-04-2020, 04:05 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-04-2020, 01:15 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 23-04-2020, 11:13 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-05-2020, 11:31 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-05-2020, 11:01 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-05-2020, 11:46 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 30-05-2020, 11:55 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-06-2020, 02:37 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 05-06-2020, 12:44 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 09-06-2020, 11:01 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 11-06-2020, 02:53 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-06-2020, 11:14 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-06-2020, 10:00 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-06-2020, 09:38 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 28-06-2020, 12:34 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-07-2020, 12:27 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-07-2020, 12:09 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 30-07-2020, 09:57 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-07-2020, 09:32 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-07-2020, 09:35 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 07-08-2020, 10:20 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 10-08-2020, 01:21 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 11-08-2020, 09:13 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-08-2020, 02:16 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 14-08-2020, 01:18 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-08-2020, 11:40 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 18-08-2020, 11:53 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 21-08-2020, 02:10 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-08-2020, 11:59 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-08-2020, 11:55 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 27-08-2020, 12:33 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 30-08-2020, 11:58 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-08-2020, 08:52 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 04-09-2020, 12:02 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 06-09-2020, 02:36 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 10-09-2020, 02:47 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-09-2020, 12:02 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 14-09-2020, 01:40 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 15-09-2020, 12:08 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-09-2020, 09:24 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-09-2020, 11:17 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-09-2020, 11:01 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 23-09-2020, 10:47 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 27-09-2020, 11:27 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 29-09-2020, 11:28 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 01-10-2020, 10:40 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-10-2020, 10:05 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 06-10-2020, 09:52 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 14-10-2020, 10:43 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 16-10-2020, 10:11 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-10-2020, 10:46 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-10-2020, 11:05 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 30-10-2020, 09:37 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 08-11-2020, 11:20 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 13-11-2020, 11:20 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 19-11-2020, 10:05 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 22-11-2020, 10:05 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 24-11-2020, 11:10 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by Bhavana_sonii - 24-11-2020, 11:10 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 26-11-2020, 10:25 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 01-12-2020, 10:26 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by Bhavana_sonii - 12-12-2020, 12:09 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 12-12-2020, 10:10 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 14-12-2020, 09:50 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 26-12-2020, 09:43 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-01-2021, 03:18 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 03-02-2021, 02:31 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 17-03-2021, 03:03 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 20-03-2021, 01:03 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-05-2021, 10:01 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 06-05-2021, 09:54 AM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 25-05-2021, 02:16 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 27-05-2021, 09:45 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 31-05-2021, 10:06 PM
RE: Angrakshak Parivar Ka .........MAHI - by vkf - 02-06-2021, 04:21 PM



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