[Greenwood]

Update 55



Subah ki halki dhoop parde ke kinaaron se guzarti hui bedroom mein utar rahi thi.
Kamre mein khamoshi thi. Bed ke paas rakhi bedside table par ek phone tha, aur uske bagal mein Reyansh ka chhota sa note.
Jheel ki aankhein dheere-dheere khuli.
Kuch pal tak woh samajh hi nahi paayi ki woh kahan hai. Phir uski nazar saamne ki deewar par padi, usne apna sir takiye se thoda uthaya aur kamre ko dekha.
Reyansh ka bedroom.
Reyansh ka ghar.
Aur kal raat ki yaadein.
Woh kambal mein simti hui thi, uske kandhe ka kuch hissa khula tha aur baal takiye par bikhre hue the. Usne kambal ko apne seene tak kheench liya.
Phir achanak uske gaalon par laali aa gayi.
Kal raat ka ek pal uske zehan mein laut aaya.
Reyansh ka uski aankhon mein dekhna.
Uska dheere se poochhna, “Tum sure ho?”
Aur phir uska khud Reyansh ka haath thaamkar kehna, “Main yahin rehna chahti hoon.”
Jheel ne apne hothon ko daanton ke beech daba liya, jaise apni muskurahat ko chhupana chahti ho.
Lekin muskurahat chhup nahi paayi.
“Pagal hai bilkul…” usne khud se dheere se kaha.
Uske chehre par sharmili si hansi aa gayi.
Phir ek aur yaad.
Reyansh ka use baahon mein bharna.
Uski awaaz, jab usne kaha tha, “Mujhe tumhare saath jaldi nahi karni.”
Aur uske baad woh baat, jisne Jheel ke dil mein ek alag jagah bana li thi.
“Mujhe tumse sach chahiye, perfection nahi.”
Jheel ne aankhein band kar li.
Uske liye kal raat sirf do logon ke kareeb aane ki raat nahi thi. Woh raat thi jab usne apne dil ko bina kisi bahaane ke kisi ke saamne rakh diya tha.
Woh Reyansh ko chahti thi.
Bahut zyada.
Aur sabse khoobsurat baat yeh thi ki ab use apni feelings samjhane ke liye har baar lafzon ki zaroorat nahi padti thi.
Usne kambal thoda hataya aur bed par baith gayi.
Uski nazar saamne rakhi T-shirt par padi. Usne use pehchaan liya.
Reyansh ki T-shirt.
Jheel ne use apne kareeb kheenchkar dekha, phir uske chehre par dobara muskurahat aa gayi.
“Ab isko bhi yaad rakhna padega,” woh khud se boli, “warna yeh sahab baad mein bolenge ki meri T-shirt ki care nahi karti.”
Usne apne baal sametkar ungliyon se suljhaaye. Kuch baal phir bhi chehre par aa gaye.
Woh unhe kaan ke peeche karte hue bedroom mein nazar daudane lagi.
Bedside table par ek folded paper tha.
Jheel ne use uthaya.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Breakfast kitchen mein hai. Aaram se uthna.
Aur haan, tumhari cooking ko abhi bhi 10/10 nahi diye hain.
Love,
Reyansh.
Jheel pehle note ko dekhti rahi.
Phir hans padi.
“Isko na…”
Usne note ko apne seene se laga liya.
Kuch pal baad usne phone uthaya. Screen par waqt dekhkar use yaad aaya ki Reyansh office ke liye nikal chuka hoga.
Usne message type kiya.
Jheel:
Good morning, Mr. Perfect.
Phir kuch sochkar usne ek aur message likha.
Jheel:
Aur meri cooking ko 10/10 nahi diye toh agli baar tumhe khud banana padega.
Usne message bhej diya.
Ab woh uske reply ka intezaar karne lagi.
Lekin usi waqt phone ki screen par ek doosra notification aa gaya.
Papa Calling...
Jheel ki muskurahat bani rahi.
Usne call receive nahi kiya, kyunki call ab band ho chuki thi. Agle hi pal ek message aaya.
Papa:
Jheel, beta, jab uth jao toh message karna. Tumse ek zaroori baat karni hai.
Jheel ne screen dekhi.
Usne socha, shayad papa bas uska haal poochhna chahte hain.
Usne reply kiya.
Jheel:
Good morning, Papa. Main uth gayi hoon. Sab theek hai na?
Kuch seconds baad reply aaya.
Papa:
Haan beta. Sab theek hai. Bas ab tumse ek baat share karni hai.
Jheel ne phone apni god mein rakh liya.
Uski nazar phir Reyansh ke note par gayi.
Woh abhi bhi muskurayi hui thi.
Use kya pata tha ki agle kuch messages uske andar ek aisi halchal paida karne wale the, jiska saamna karne ke liye woh bilkul tayyar nahi thi.


Phone phir vibrate hua.
Jheel ne screen unlock ki.
Papa:
Beta, tumhe yaad hai na, hum Bengaluru aane se pehle tumse kya baat hui thi?
Jheel ki ungli screen par ruk gayi.
Uski muskurahat dheere-dheere kam hone lagi.
Woh baat use yaad thi.
Bahut achhe se yaad thi.
Usne message ka jawaab nahi diya.
Ek aur message aaya.
Papa:
Tumne humse kaha tha ki tum kuch waqt yahan kaam karogi, apne pairon par khade hone ki koshish karogi aur ghar ki pareshaani kam karne mein hamari madad karogi.
Jheel ne phone thoda neeche kar liya.
Uski nazar ab note par nahi thi.
Woh saamne deewar ko dekh rahi thi, lekin uski aankhon ke saamne Bengaluru ka bedroom nahi, uska purana ghar ubharne laga tha.
Papa ki awaaz.
Mummy ka chehra.
Ghar ka woh chhota sa kamra jahan kabhi-kabhi sab baithkar kharchon ka hisaab karte the.
Aur woh din, jab usne pehli baar apne parivaar ko pareshaan dekha tha aur samjha tha ki bade hone ka matlab sirf apni marzi se jeena nahi hota.
Kabhi-kabhi iska matlab hota hai apni marzi ko kuch waqt ke liye peeche rakh dena.
Phone vibrate hua.
Papa:
Beta, tumne apni taraf se bahut koshish ki. Humein tum par fakhr hai.
Jheel ki aankhon mein nami aa gayi.
Woh apne papa ko jaanti thi.
Woh jaanti thi ki unke liye apni beti ko ghar se door bhejna aasaan nahi raha hoga.
Woh yeh bhi jaanti thi ki papa apni pareshaani use batane se pehle kai baar sochte the.
Jheel ne type kiya.
Jheel:
Papa, aap aise kyun baat kar rahe ho? Kya hua hai?
Is baar reply aane mein kuch waqt laga.
Phir screen par woh message aaya jisne Jheel ke chehre se bachi-khuchi muskurahat bhi mita di.
Papa:
Beta, ghar ka karza ab khatam ho gaya hai.
Jheel bilkul chup ho gayi.
Usne message dobara padha.
Phir teesri baar.
Ghar ka karza ab khatam ho gaya hai.
Uske hoth halke se khule, jaise woh kuch kehna chahti ho, lekin awaaz na nikli.
Ek pal ke liye uske dil mein rahat ki lehar uthi.
Ghar ka bojh kam ho gaya tha.
Papa ko ab har kharch se pehle itna nahi sochna padega.
Mummy ko har chhoti zaroorat ke liye hisaab nahi lagana padega.
Usne kitni baar yahi toh chaha tha.
Phir agla message aaya.
Papa:
Harshit ne poora karza chuka diya hai.
Jheel ki ungliyan phone par jam gayin.
Kamre ki khamoshi achanak bahut bhaari lagne lagi.
Usne phone ko apne kareeb kar liya, jaise use yakeen karne ke liye message ko aur nazdeek se padhna zaroori ho.
Harshit.
Naam dekhte hi uske zehan mein ek saath kai yaadein ubhar aayi.
Woh chehra.
Woh din.
Woh wada jo usne apne parivaar ke saamne kiya tha.
Aur woh rishta jise woh apni zindagi ka hissa maanne ke liye kabhi poori tarah tayyar nahi ho paayi thi.
Uski aankhon se pehla aansu nikal kar gaal par aa gira.
Usne jaldi se use ponch diya.
“Abhi nahi…” usne khud se kaha.
Lekin aansu rukne ke liye tayyar nahi the.


Kuch mahine pehle.
Ghar ke drawing room mein sab log baithe the.
Table par chai rakhi thi, lekin kisi ka dhyaan chai par nahi tha.
Papa ke chehre par thakaan thi. Mummy baar-baar apne dupatte ka kona ungliyon mein lapet rahi thi.
Jheel saamne baithi thi.
Uske haath ek doosre mein bandhe hue the.
Woh ghar ki pareshaaniyon se anjaan nahi thi. Pichhle kai mahino se woh har badalte chehre ko dekh rahi thi, har rukti hui baat ko sun rahi thi.
Papa jab phone par kisi se dheemi awaaz mein baat karte, toh Jheel samajh jaati ki baat paison ki hai.
Mummy jab apni koi zaroorat taal deti, toh Jheel ko samajh aa jaata ki ghar mein phir hisaab bigad gaya hai.
Us din bhi baat wahi thi.
“Jheel,” papa ne kaha, “hum tum par koi bojh nahi daalna chahte.”
Jheel ne unki taraf dekha.
“Phir aap mujhse baat kyun chhupaate ho?”
Papa chup ho gaye.
Mummy ne uski taraf dekha.
“Beta, tum jaanti ho na ki hum tumhare liye kitna achha chahte hain.”
“Jaanti hoon, Mummy. Lekin main bhi aap logon ke liye kuch karna chahti hoon.”
Papa ne dheere se kaha, “Har cheez tumhare haath mein nahi hoti.”


Jheel ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye.
“Par jo mere haath mein hai, woh toh main kar sakti hoon na?”
Us din usne Bengaluru jaane ka faisla kiya tha.
Apne liye bhi.
Apne parivaar ke liye bhi.
Woh jaanti thi ki ghar se door rehna aasaan nahi hoga. Naye shehar mein kaam dhoondhna, logon se baat karna, apni jhijhak se ladna, har din khud ko sambhalna, yeh sab uske liye naya tha.
Lekin usne socha tha ki woh kar legi.
Us waqt uske saamne zindagi ka ek seedha sa sawaal tha.
Agar main apne parivaar ke liye kuch kar sakti hoon, toh kya mujhe koshish nahi karni chahiye?
Usne koshish ki thi.
Aur dheere-dheere uski koshish uski aadat ban gayi thi.
Woh apni pareshaani chhupakar kaam par jaati.
Thak jaati, phir bhi agle din uthti.
Kabhi apne aap par gussa karti ki use aur achha karna chahiye tha.
Kabhi chupchaap ro leti.
Phir apne aansu ponchkar khud se kehti, “Thoda aur. Bas thoda aur.”
Usne kabhi nahi socha tha ki usi shehar mein use Reyansh milega.
Ek aisa insaan jiske saath woh sirf zimmedari nibhaane wali beti nahi thi.
Woh Jheel thi.
Hansi-mazaak karne wali.
Kabhi bachchon ki tarah zid karne wali.
Kabhi bina kisi wajah ke khush ho jaane wali.
Kabhi apni chhoti-chhoti baaton ko lekar sharmane wali.
Aur kabhi kisi ke kandhe par sir rakhkar yeh mehsoos karne wali ki use har waqt mazboot banne ki zaroorat nahi.
Reyansh ne uski zindagi ki saari pareshaaniyan khatam nahi ki thi.
Usne uske liye koi jaadu nahi kiya tha.
Bas uske saath rehkar use apne aap ka ek aisa hissa mehsoos karaya tha, jise woh zimmedariyon ke beech kahin peeche chhod aayi thi.
Woh hissa jo sirf pyaar karna chahta tha.


Jheel ki yaad ek aur din ki taraf chali gayi.
Woh din jab uske parivaar ne Harshit ke saath uski engagement tay ki thi.
Ghar mein log aaye hue the. Baatein ho rahi thi. Sab kuch itna jaldi aage badh raha tha ki Jheel ko kai baar lagta tha jaise woh khud apni zindagi ka faisla door se dekh rahi ho.
Harshit ek aise parivaar se tha jahan paison ki kami nahi thi.
Uske paas apna business tha, achhi zindagi thi aur woh cheezein haasil karne ki taqat thi jinke liye Jheel ke parivaar ko saalon tak mehnat karni pad sakti thi.
Jheel ne use pehle bhi dekha tha.
Woh uske saath tameez se baat karta tha. Usne kabhi Jheel ko neecha dikhane ki koshish nahi ki thi. Woh uski baat sunta tha aur apni taraf se use comfortable rakhne ki koshish karta tha.
Lekin Jheel ke dil mein uske liye woh ehsaas kabhi paida nahi hua tha jise woh pyaar keh sakti.
Us din bhi jab sab log khush the, Jheel ke andar ek khamosh sawaal tha.
“Kya main is rishte mein khush reh paaungi?”
Usne apne aap se kai baar yeh sawaal poochha tha.
Har baar jawaab dene se pehle uske zehan mein ghar ki pareshaaniyan aa jaati.
Papa ki fikr.
Mummy ki thakaan.
Parivaar ki umeedein.
Aur phir woh khud se kehti, “Shayad waqt ke saath sab theek ho jaaye.”
Engagement ke din jab uski ungli mein ring pehnayi gayi thi, toh sabke chehre par khushi thi.
Jheel ne bhi muskurane ki koshish ki thi.
Lekin uski muskurahat ke peeche ek anjaana darr chhupa hua tha.
Use pata nahi tha ki woh apne parivaar ke liye ek zimmedari poori kar rahi hai ya apni zindagi ke ek aise raaste par chal padi hai jahan se lautna aasaan nahi hoga.
Usne us din apne parivaar ko dukhi nahi karna chaha tha.
Isliye usne apne sawaal apne paas rakh liye.
Aur waqt aage badhta gaya.
Phir Bengaluru aaya.
Kaam aaya.
Akele rehna aaya.
Apne pairon par khade hone ki koshish aayi.
Aur usi safar mein Reyansh aa gaya.
Pehle ek padosi.
Phir ek dost.
Phir woh insaan jiske message ka intezaar Jheel bina kisi wajah ke karne lagi.
Woh insaan jiske saamne woh apni baat galat keh dene se nahi darti thi.
Woh insaan jiske saath woh chup rehkar bhi akeli mehsoos nahi karti thi.
Aur dheere-dheere, bina kisi din ya tareekh ko pehchaane, Jheel usse pyaar kar baithi.
Woh pyaar jise usne plan nahi kiya tha.
Woh pyaar jise usne apne parivaar ki pareshaaniyon ke hisaab se nahi chuna tha.
Woh pyaar jo bas ho gaya tha.

Jheel ki aankhein khul gayin.
Woh ab bhi Reyansh ke bedroom mein thi.
Uske haath mein phone tha.
Uske saamne bedside table par wahi note rakha tha.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Usne note ki taraf dekha.
Kal raat ka sukoon abhi bhi uske andar tha, lekin us sukoon ke saath ek naya bojh jud gaya tha.
Usne papa ka message phir se khola.
Papa:
Harshit ne poora karza chuka diya hai.
Uske baad ek aur message tha.
Papa:
Ab tumhe Bengaluru mein itni mehnat karne ki zaroorat nahi hai, beta. Tum ghar laut aao. Hum chahte hain ki tum apni zindagi aage badhao aur Harshit ke saath apna ghar basaao.
Jheel ne phone ko dono haathon se pakad liya.
Uska seena bhaari hone laga.
Ghar ka karza khatam ho gaya tha.
Woh baat jiske liye usne itni mehnat ki thi, aakhirkaar poori ho gayi thi.
Use khush hona chahiye tha.
Uske papa ki pareshaani kam ho gayi thi.
Uske parivaar ko ab pehle jaisa bojh nahi uthana padega.
Lekin uske andar khushi ke saath ek dard bhi uth raha tha.
Kyunki ab woh apne aap se yeh nahi keh sakti thi ki use abhi kaam karna hai, abhi ghar ki madad karni hai, abhi use waqt chahiye.
Woh bahaana nahi tha, lekin ab uske saamne ek naya sawaal khada tha.
Jab parivaar ki zaroorat poori ho gayi, toh ab woh apni zindagi ka faisla kis tarah karegi?
Usne phone apni god mein rakh diya.
Aankhon se aansu behne lage.
Woh zor-zor se nahi royi.
Bas uske chehre par aansu aate rahe aur woh unhe ponchti rahi.
Jaise har aansu ke saath woh khud ko samjhaane ki koshish kar rahi ho.


Kuch der baad Jheel bed se uthi aur khidki ke paas jaakar khadi ho gayi.
Bengaluru ki subah shuru ho chuki thi.
Neeche sadak par log apne-apne kaam ke liye nikal rahe the. Kisi ke liye aaj ka din ek aam din tha. Kisi ke liye nayi shuruaat.
Lekin Jheel ke liye aaj ki subah ek aisa mod lekar aayi thi jiska saamna karne ke liye usne khud ko kabhi taiyaar nahi kiya tha.
Usne apne haath dekhe.
Kal raat isi haath ko Reyansh ne thaama tha.
Usne uske saamne apna sach rakha tha.
Aur Jheel ne use bataya tha ki woh usse pyaar karti hai.
Woh jhooth nahi tha.
Uska pyaar sach tha.
Uski khushi sach thi.
Uska Reyansh ke saath bitaya hua har pal sach tha.
Phir bhi, uske phone par aaye messages bhi sach the.
Uske parivaar ki pareshaaniyan sach thi.
Uski engagement sach thi.
Aur woh zimmedari, jise woh kabhi poori tarah apne dil se apna nahi paayi thi, woh bhi uski zindagi ka hissa thi.
Jheel ne apne aap se poochha.
“Main kya karun?”
Koi jawaab nahi aaya.
Usne dobara poochha.
“Kya main itni selfish ho gayi hoon ki apni khushi ke aage sab kuch bhool jaaun?”
Uski aankhon mein aansu phir bhar aaye.
“Lekin maine toh kabhi kisi ko dukh dena nahi chaha…”
Uski awaaz kamre mein hi dab gayi.
Woh bed ke kinaare wapas aakar baith gayi.
Usne Reyansh ka note uthaya.
Uski ungliyan us kagaz ke kinaare par chalne lagi.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Woh muskurayi, lekin is baar muskurahat mein dard tha.
“Tumhe kya pata, Reyansh…” usne dheere se kaha. “Tumhare saath rehkar main kitni khush hoon.”
Usne note ko apni god mein rakh diya.
“Tumhare saath main apne ghar ki pareshaaniyon ke baare mein sochna bhool jaati hoon. Main bhool jaati hoon ki mujhe har waqt kisi ke liye mazboot banna hai. Main bas tumhare saath rehna chahti hoon.”
Uski aankhon se ek aur aansu gira.
“Lekin kya sirf isliye ki main tumse pyaar karti hoon, main apni baaki zindagi se aankhein band kar sakti hoon?”
Woh chup ho gayi.
Kuch pal baad usne apne aap se ek aur sawaal poochha.
“Aur agar main apni zimmedari nibhaane ki koshish karun, toh kya iska matlab yeh hoga ki mera pyaar sach nahi tha?”
Usne turant sir hila diya.
“Nahi…”
Uske hoth kaanp gaye.
“Nahi, mera pyaar sach hai.”
Woh apne aap ko samjha rahi thi.
“Main Reyansh se pyaar karti hoon. Main uske saath rehna chahti hoon. Main uske saath apni zindagi ke chhote-chhote pal jeena chahti hoon.”
Usne aankhein band kar li.
“Lekin main apne parivaar ko bhi dukh nahi dena chahti.”
Yahi toh uski pareshaani thi.
Woh kisi ek se nafrat karke doosre ko nahi chun sakti thi.
Uske papa uske apne the.
Uski maa uski apni thi.
Aur Reyansh…
Reyansh bhi ab uske dil ka hissa ban chuka tha.
Usne kabhi socha nahi tha ki zindagi mein ek din aisa bhi aayega jab use apne dil ki sabse sachchi feeling aur apne parivaar ki umeedon ke beech khadi hona padega.
Woh kisi ko galat nahi keh pa rahi thi.
Na apne papa ko.
Na apne aap ko.
Na Reyansh ko.
Aur shayad isi liye uska dard aur badh raha tha.

Jheel ne phone uthaya.
Usne Reyansh ka chat khola.
Uska subah wala message abhi bhi screen par tha.
Reyansh:
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Jheel ne message ko dekha aur uske hothon par ek halki si muskurahat aa gayi.
Woh reply type karne lagi.
Good morning, jaan.
Usne message ko dekha.
Phir saari line delete kar di.
Dobara type kiya.
Kal raat bahut achhi thi.
Woh kuch pal us message ko dekhti rahi.
Phir use bhi delete kar diya.
Uski aankhon se aansu phir behne lage.
Woh Reyansh se apni khushi chhupana nahi chahti thi.
Woh use apni pareshaani batana chahti thi.
Woh chahti thi ki Reyansh uske paas baithe, uska haath thaame aur use kahe ki woh dono milkar sab samajhne ki koshish karenge.
Lekin uske andar ek darr bhi tha.
Agar usne Reyansh ko sab bata diya, toh kya hoga?
Kya woh uski pareshaani samjhega?
Kya woh uske parivaar ke baare mein sochkar uski majboori ko samjhega?
Ya phir woh uski aankhon mein woh dard dekh legi jo woh kisi bhi tarah use dena nahi chahti thi?
Jheel ne phone apne seene se laga liya.
“Main tumhe dukh nahi dena chahti, Reyansh…”
Uski awaaz toot gayi.
“Main sach mein nahi chahti.”
Woh kuch der tak roti rahi.
Phir usne apne aansu ponchhe aur khidki ke paas jaakar khadi ho gayi.
Usne khud se kaha:
“Mujhe abhi koi faisla nahi karna.”
“Mujhe pehle khud samajhna hoga ki main kya chahti hoon.”
“Main apne parivaar se pyaar karti hoon. Main Reyansh se bhi pyaar karti hoon.”
“Lekin main kab tak dono taraf dekhkar khud se nazar churaati rahungi?”
Usne gehri saans li.
Aaj use pehli baar apni zindagi ke do alag raaston ke beech khade hone ka ehsaas hua.
Ek taraf woh zindagi thi jiske liye usne apne parivaar ke saath ek wada kiya tha.
Doosri taraf woh zindagi thi jiske baare mein usne kabhi socha bhi nahi tha, lekin jise ab woh apne dil se nikaal nahi sakti thi.
Aur beech mein woh khud thi.
Jheel.
Ek beti.
Ek mangetar.
Aur ek aisi ladki jo kisi se sachcha pyaar kar baithi thi.
Usne phone ki screen band kar di.
Reyansh ko abhi kuch nahi bataya.
Papa ko bhi koi jawaab nahi diya.
Woh bas khidki ke paas khadi rahi, apne dil ki awaaz sunne ki koshish karti hui.
Kyunki kabhi-kabhi sabse mushkil faisla yeh nahi hota ki hum kisse pyaar karte hain.
Sabse mushkil faisla yeh hota hai ki jab humari zindagi mein kai logon ki umeedein judi hon, tab hum apne pyaar ke saath kya karte hain.
Aur Jheel abhi usi sawaal ke saamne khadi thi.
Usne abhi koi faisla nahi kiya tha.
Na Reyansh ke baare mein.
Na Harshit ke baare mein.
Na apne ghar lautne ke baare mein.
Aaj ki subah bas itna badal kar gayi thi ki ab woh apne dil ki baat se anjaan nahi reh sakti thi.
Woh Reyansh se pyaar karti thi.
Aur uske saamne ek aisi zimmedari thi jise woh nazarandaaz nahi kar sakti thi.
Dono baatein ek saath sach thi.
Aur filhaal, isi sach ke saath use saans lena seekhna tha.