[Ramesh_Rocky]

CHAPTER 18: SECOND ACTS

OCTOBER 19, 2005 – WEDNESDAY - 2 P.M.

I stopped at the desk outside Debbie’s office. I didn’t know her secretary. She was an older woman, probably a holdover from an earlier regime. Johnny August was famous for never firing anyone. Because he was as close to blind as you could get without being technically stone cold blind, he was one of those rare bosses who actually judged people by the quality of work they did, rather than being affected by cup size or a pretty face.
“Mr. Maitland. I’m sorry. We didn’t receive word that you were coming down. Is Ms. Bascomb expecting you?”
“No. I just had something I wanted to talk to her about. Could you buzz her and see if she could give me a few minutes?’
“Yes sir.”
A moment later I heard Debbie’s voice, then she was opening the door to her office and giving me a curious look.
“Mr. Maitland? Connie said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Could I come in?”
She pretended to look amazed but gave me a little smile. “Of course, Please come in.”
I walked in past her and stopped at one of the two comfortable plush chairs set in front of the wide, natural mahogany desk that held a name plate giving her name and title. I looked around and saw pictures of BJ and Kelly apparently recently taken in large frames on her desk, and a picture of the two of us from our Hawaiian cruise of ten years ago on the wall at head height behind her swivel chair.
I also noticed that the desk and her chair were raised so she’d look down on anyone sitting in front of her. I knew that was one of the tricks she had picked up working at the Hunt Bank. She might have sacrificed five years of her life, but she had learned a lot more than the mechanics of running a business.
She just nodded toward the picture and said, “Everybody knows our story, Bill. There’s no point in trying to hide it so I just put it out for everybody to see when they walk in.”
Then she looked at me and the manila envelope I held in my right hand and said, “You realize this is the first time since I’ve arrived here that you’ve been in my office. Are you here on official business or, does it have anything to do with. you know?”
“No and no.”


I placed the manila envelope on her desk, swung around and caught her by the wrist. I pulled her toward me. Her eyes widened but she did not resist as I pulled her to me. I caught her face in my hands and placed my lips over hers. I had to stretch slightly to my tip toes, but I’d always done that. She had her arms on my shoulders and she was leaning into me. Her lips opened and I tasted the sweetness of her mouth and tongue.
It seemed to last forever, but it was probably only twenty to thirty seconds. I let her go and stepped back. It seemed hard to breathe and I felt moisture at the corners of my eyes, but I made myself breathe regularly. She looked at me with her lips open and she seemed to be struggling for words.
“Of all the things in this world I expected to happen today, that was absolutely the very last thing. Why....how...what? You took the words away from me, Bill.”

“I had to find something out.” “What?”

“I had to find out if I could hold you in my arms and let you go.”

We stood there staring at each other and she reached out with one hand toward me but she didn’t touch me. I couldn’t blame her because for most of the last six months I would have bitten it off. I reached out to her, took her hand and directed her to sit in one of the chairs next to me.
“You’re not going to give me the high ground?” she said with a hint of a smile.
“You forget, Debbie, you told me in bed all about the tricks you were picking up with the Hunts. You may not have thought I was paying any attention, but I was.”
“What are we negotiating?”
“Not negotiating, Deb. I just - I felt like I should come in here and talk to you. I have a lot of things on my mind and we haven’t really talked - since all this started. I know you wanted to but I just wasn’t...wasn’t in a place where I could be in the same room with you.”
“You must have gotten better, Bill.” She rubbed her lips with her thumb. “You got a lot better.”
“A little. But I have to tell you, it is still tearing me apart to be sitting here.” “Then why are you here, Bill? You said it doesn’t have anything to do with
the Cartel.”
“No, I didn’t really say that, although I can see where you might think that. I’m not here because anything has changed in regard to the Cartel but...what happened over the weekend...it was one of the things I’ve been thinking about.”
“I don’t understand.”


I couldn’t force myself to sit still so I stood up and walked away from her, then turned back to her.
“I can’t tell you that there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t still hate you, Debbie. You hurt me, you hit me way below the belt and it took me a long time to pull myself together. I’ll never forget some of the things you said to me back then. I’ll never forget you turning your back on me to go to Doug that night. I’ll never get those images of him and you together in our bed – in our bed – out of my head. If I’d seen it, it would have been bad but, in a way, not seeing it makes it worse because my imagination - I can’t shut it off and even now there are times I’ll be sleeping and I’ll.  dream about you and him together.”
I could tell from the narrowing of her eyes that the old anger was building and I expected her to flare up, but she didn’t say anything.
“I know that we both crashed our marriage. I know that I left you alone. But, damn it, Debbie, even though I feel some guilt, I can’t help believing that you could have changed things. You could always twist me around your little finger. You didn’t, and that makes me think, it makes me know, that you didn’t try to change things because you wanted out. If it hadn’t been Doug, it would have been somebody else.”
She sat back in her chair and ran her hand over her long mane of blonde hair.
She was dry eyed, but...
“Well, I’ve been trying to get you to talk for six months, so I guess I should be happy, even if you’re using the opportunity to unload on me. You’re entitled, I guess, you got hurt the most. Even though you hurt me plenty for years leading up to...Doug, but if it makes you feel better ”
I walked back to stand in front of her.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Debbie. Even if it may sound that way. I just wanted to clear the air. There’s no point pretending that I’m not still hurting. I’ve got bruises that haven’t healed and may not for a long time. I want you to know just how bad you hurt me, but it’s in the past and it will get better.”
“Then what. ”
I knelt in front of her and took both her hands in mine.
“I wanted to know that I could be around you and not be crazy, that we could be....maybe not friends but co-parents. We can share the kids and share raising them and go to their graduations, their marriages and welcome our grandchildren into the world. I hope we’ll be in each other's lives for a long time to come.”
I didn’t want to but I felt myself tearing up.
“We were married for a long time. We had a good marriage and we made good memories. Remember I told you once that you’d pissed all over the memories we made. Actually that was the way I felt.  then, but with time I’ll be
able to remember the good times again, because we did have some good times.”