Collection of Small stories

[Zigspr]

Chapter Two

I had turned off the television entirely, leaving the room lit by the lamp beside the couch and the faint glow of the kitchen light I'd forgotten to switch off.

I checked my phone.

9:42. No messages.

My thumb hovered over her name before I opened our messages. Her last text was still there.

He asked me back to his place. I said yes. Love you.

I locked the phone, put it down, and then picked it up and unlocked it again. I didn't know what I was expecting, so I opened my photos instead.

The first picture I saw was one I'd taken of Shivani earlier that evening. She'd been standing in front of the bedroom mirror, smiling at me while I told her to hold still.

She was wearing the dress we'd eventually settled on: Black and fitted at the waist, falling midway down her thighs. It hugged her figure well. Her dark hair fell loosely over her shoulders, and the silver earrings I'd bought her years ago glinted in the light.

Her lips were painted in a soft red.

"You really are going all out," I had joked.

"Is it too much?" she asked, concerned.

"No. You're perfect." I had told her.

She really did look beautiful. Not dressed up like she might for a wedding or other function, but just looked deliberately beautiful.

Except it wasn't for me. She'd been getting ready for Deepak.

I zoomed in on the picture without thinking. Her smile, the lipstick. I remembered trying to kiss her before she had left, and she had joked and chided me not to ruin her makeup, and offered me her cheek to kiss instead.

For a second, I wondered whether Deepak had noticed the lipstick too. Did he appreciate it as well?
Then I wondered where those lips were now.

I put my phone down, stood up, and walked to the kitchen. Only to turn and come back to my phone with nothing gained from my efforts.

At 10:03, I finally opened our messages and typed, How is it?

I stared at the words for a few seconds before sending them. Shivani replied just a couple of minutes later.

Good.

Just that. I smiled despite myself, then typed, Have you done it yet?

Not yet.

I read the words twice, and despite everything, I felt a small wave of relief mixed with extreme longing. Not yet. Whatever I'd spent the last hour imagining, it hadn't happened. At least not yet, but that meant it was going to. And soon.

I put my phone down and tried to settle myself, reminding myself that I'd asked for this. I'd spent years talking about it, encouraged her to explore it, and told her repeatedly that she didn't need to worry about how I might feel. But the reassurance didn't last. I kept wondering what she was doing, whether Deepak was making her laugh, whether she was still nervous. Whether this would all be worth it.

By 11:30, I'd checked the time so many times that I was starting to lose track. I finally texted again.

How are you? Everything okay?

Her reply came almost immediately, but this time something about it made my stomach tighten.

Im good!! sry just busyeverythingsok tho dont worry x

There were typos everywhere... missing apostrophes, words running together, barely any punctuation. Shivqni normally corrected everything without thinking, but this looked as though she'd typed it in a hurry, without even bothering to look at the screen before sending it. I stared at the message for a long moment. She said she was okay. She said not to worry.

I put the phone down and leaned back against the couch, breathing deeply to steady my nerves.

The apartment was completely silent now. At 11:47, I found myself looking at the photograph I'd taken of Shivani again. At that bright little smile she'd given me as I'd stood there taking the picture. I'd known that woman since we were sixteen. She was my wife. And somewhere across the city, she was having an experience neither of us could take back.

Midnight came and went, and I couldn't stand the uncertainty anymore. I opened our messages and typed, Please let me know when you'll be home. I sent it and watched the screen, waiting for the typing indicator that never came. Thirty seconds passed, then a minute, then two. I was just about to put the phone down when it started ringing.

Shivani

My heart jumped. I answered immediately.

"Hey."

There was a brief pause before her voice came through. "Hi, baby."

She sounded tired, but I could tell she was smiling.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'm on my way home."

I closed my eyes and let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Okay."

"I'll be there soon."

"Okay."

For a moment neither of us said anything. Then she spoke softly.

"I love you."

I swallowed. "I love you too."

The call ended, leaving me alone with the dark screen of my phone. She was coming home. Somehow, that was exactly what I'd wanted all night, yet exactly what I'd been afraid of.