Adultery SAMREEN: Shikast-e-Zanjeer-e-Muflisi

[Herotic]

EPISODE 02

Bahar shaam ka saya gehra ho chuka tha. Jab main apne mohalle ki taraf badh rahi thi, toh thandi hawa ke jhonke mere chehre se takra rahe the, lekin mere andar ab bhi ek ajeeb si bechaini thi. Pandey Ji ki wo ghurti hui nigahein aur unke kahe hue alfaaz mere dimaag me baar-baar gunj rahe the. Maine apni abaya ko aur thoda samet liya aur apne kadam tezi se badhane lagi. Ek paakiza aurat ke liye gair-mard ki aisi nazar ek bojh jaisi hoti hai, jise wo jitna jaldi ho sake, utaar fekna chahti hai.
 
Jab main hamare mohalle ke nukkad par pahunchi, toh wahan se Asif ki chhoti si dukaan saaf nazar aa rahi thi. Raat ke is waqt dukaan ki peeli roshni me sab kuchh bohot narm aur sukoon-bhara lag raha tha. Maine apne kadam thode dheeme kiye aur door se hi unhe dekhne lagi.
 
Asif dukaan ke andar khade the. Unhone hamesha ki tarah kurta-payejama aur sarr par topi pehni hui thi. Unke chehre par wahi pur-sukoon aur narm mizaaj tha jo unki sabse badi pehchan thi. Is waqt unki dukaan par ek customer aaya hua tha. Asif bade hi sabr aur adab ke sath us shakhs ko alag-alag tarah ki safed topiyan aur itar ki shishiyan dikha rahe the. Unhone ek chhoti si itar ka dhakkan khola aur bohot hi saleeqe se us customer ke hath ki pusht par lagaya taaki wo khushboo ka andaza laga sake.
 
Unhe is tarah mehnat karte dekh kar mere dil me unke liye mohabbat aur izzat aur badh gayi. Wo kitne nek aur imandari ki rozi kamane wale insaan hain. Bhale hi hamari zindagi me maali tangi chal rahi thi, lekin unka imaan aur unka mizaaj kabhi nahi badla. Wo thode se paise ke liye bhi har customer se itne akhlaq se pesh aate the. Maine ek gehri saans li aur dil me socha ki unka sath dekar maine bilkul sahi faisla kiya hai. Mai unke samne se guzarne ke bajay, ghumkar peechhe ki gali se sidhe ghar chali gayi, taaki unhe dukaan par mere aane se koi khalali na ho.
 
Ghar aakar maine sabse pehle *** kiya aur *** ki *** ada ki. Uske baad maine *** par baithe-baithe *** se bohot dua mangi. Phir maine kitchen me jaakar khana taiyar kiya. Thodi der baad Asif bhi dukaan band karke ghar aagaye. Unke chehre par din bhar ka thakaan tha, lekin mujhe dekh kar unhone hamesha ki tarah ek pyari si muskaan di. Hum dono ne dastarkhwan par baith kar khana khaya. Maine unhe aaj ki kamyabi aur paison ke baare me bataya, jise sunkar unhone *** ka shukr ada kiya. Lekin maine Pandey Ji wali baat unhe nahi batayi, main nahi chahti thi ki wo khamakhah fikr-mand hon ya unhe bura lage.
 
Khana khane aur bartan saaf karne ke baad, hum dono sone ke liye kamre me aagaye. Asif thake hue the, isiliye wo jald hi bistar par let gaye aur unki aankhein moondne lagin. Maine kamre ki bulb band kar di aur sirf ek chhota sa dim lamp jalta chhod diya.
 
Jab main bistar par leti, toh kamre me poori tarah sannata tha. Asif ki saanson ki dheemi aawaz aa rahi thi. Maine aakhein band ki, toh achanak mere dimaag me parlour ka wo manzar dobara ghoom gaya. Pandey Ji ka wo robdar chehra, unki mehenge perfume ki khushboo, aur unki wo lagatar ghurti hui aankhein... "Sach me, aisi khoobsurati aur aisa hunar roz-roz dekhne ko nahi milta..." Unke ye alfaaz mere kaano me dobara gunje.
 
Maine karwat badli. Mujhe ek ajeeb sa, anjaan sa ehsaas hone laga. Ek taraf toh mera deeni mizaaj aur meri haya un baaton ko gunah aur galat maan kar radd kar rahi thi, lekin doosri taraf, ek aurat hone ke naate, us mardana tawajjo ne mere andar ek ajeeb si halchal paida kar di thi. Maine aaj tak Asif ke alawa kisi mard ko is tarah apne itne kareeb mehsoos nahi kiya tha. Pandey Ji ka wo rukh, unka wo upar se neeche tak dekhna, mujhe thoda beaaram kar raha tha, lekin saath hi mere jism me ek ajeeb si garmi bhi paida kar raha tha jise main khud samajh nahi paa rahi thi. Main baar-baar *** padh kar un khayalon ko jhatakne ki koshish kar rahi thi.
 
Shayad meri is bechaini aur karwatein badalne ki wajah se Asif ki aankh khul gayi. Unhone kamre ki dim roshni me meri taraf dekha. Unki aankhon me mohabbat aur thoda sa ishara tha. Unhone apna haath aage badhakar meri kamar par rakha aur mujhe apne kareeb khinch liya. "Samreen, tum abhi tak soyi nahi? Kya baat hai, kaafi thak gayi ho kya?" unhone behad narm aawaz me puchha.
 
"Nahi, bas aisi hi neend nahi aa rahi thi," maine unki baahon me samate hue kaha. Asif ne mere baalon ko chhua aur mere chehre par chumban dene lage. Unka ye dulaar hamesha mujhe sukoon deta tha. Dheere-dheere unka mizaaj badalne laga aur wo mere sath jismani taalluq banane ke liye aage badhe. Mere andar pehle se hi Pandey Ji ke khayalon aur ek anjaan garmi ki wajah se ek halchal machi hui thi, isiliye aaj main bhi is taalluq ke liye andar se kaafi garam aur tayyar mehsoos kar rahi thi. Maine unka saath diya.
 
Lekin hamare rishte me ek aisi kami thi jo pichhle kuchh waqt se aksar samne aati thi. Ek biwi aur ek paakiza aurat hone ke naate mujhe ye sab bolna to nhi chahiye par mere shauhar ek deen-dar aur narm-dil insaan zaroor the, lekin jismani taur par wo thode kamzor the. Unki lulli size me thodi choti thi, aur unke andar mardana taqat ki thodi kami thi. Jaise hi unhone mere jism me dakhil hone ki koshish ki, mera jism unki chhuwan aur us garmi se poori tarah pighal raha tha, main chahti thi ki wo mujhe us sukoon tak le jayein jahan ek aurat poori tarah shaant hoti hai.
 
Lekin afsos, wo do minute bhi nahi tik paaye. Abhi mai us lutf ki shuruat me hi pahunchi thi ki unka nikaal kar ho gaya aur wo poori tarah dhaanp kar mere upar se hat gaye. Wo buri tarah se haanf rahe the. "Samreen, aaj din bhar ki thakaan zyada thi…" unhone sharmindagi se muskura kar kaha aur meri peshani par haath rakh kar doosri taraf karwat lekar let gaye. Kuchh hi minto me unki gehri saans chalne lagi aur wo so gaye.
 
Main bistar par bilkul khamoshi se chhat ko dekhti rahi. Mera poora jism is waqt garmi se tap raha tha. Ek aurat hone ke naate, jab aapka jism aadhe raste me chhod diya jaye, toh wo bechaini bardasht se bahar ho jaati hai. Mai adhoori aur garam hi reh gayi thi.
 
Is tanhai aur adhoorepan me, mere dimaag me phir se Pandey Ji ka wo mardana thasra, unki unchi lambi jism aur unki wo ghurti hui jaanleva nigahein aane lagin. Maine bistar ki chaadar ko apni ungliyon me zor se bheencha. Ek nek aur deeni biwi hone ke bawajood, is waqt mera jism aur mera dimaag ek ajeeb si aazmaish ke daure se guzar raha tha, jahan ek taraf mera shauhar tha jo nek tha par kamzor, aur doosri taraf ek anjaan mard ki nazar thi jisne meri soyi hui khwahishon ko jaga diya tha.
 
Khiar raat ka sannaata ab aur gehra ho chuka tha. Kamre me deewar par tangi ghadi ki tik-tik aur Asif ke gehri saanson ki aawaz gunj rahi thi. Wo sukoon se so rahe the, is baat se bilkul bekhabar ki unke barabar me leti unki biwi is waqt kis zehni karb aur jism ki aag me jal rahi hai. Mera jism abhi bhi us adhoorepan ki wajah se tar-ba-tar tha, aur usse bhi zyada mera dimaag khayalon ke ek aise bhanwar me fasa tha jahan se nikalne ka rasta mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha.
 
Maine karwat badal kar pas me soye mere shauhar ke chehre ko dekha. Dim peeli roshni me unka chehra behad masoom aur nuraani lag raha tha. Unhe dekh kar mere dil me achanak ek tees uthi. Asif ki isi jismani kamzori aur mardana taqat ki kami ki wajah se, hamari nikaah ke itne saal baad bhi meri godd sooni thi. Aaj tak hamara koi bachha nahi hua tha.
 
Har aurat ka ek khwab hota hai ki wo ammi bane, uske aangan me kisi bacche ki kilkariyan gunje, aur jab wo apne shauhar ko dekhe toh unke darmiyan unki mohabbat ki ek janti nishani muskura rahi ho. Maine bhi ye khwab dekha tha. Shuruati saalon me jab maine is baare me baat karne ki koshish ki, toh Asif sharminda ho jaate the. Unka wo utra hua chehra dekh kar maine phir kabhi is mauzu par baat nahi ki. Maine socha ki shayad *** ki yahi marzi hai, aur maine sabr kar liya. Maine unki is kamzori ko unki izzat ke khatir poore zamane se chhupaye rakha, yahan ke apne maika walo ko bhi kabhi bhanak nahi lagne di.
 
Lekin aaj, jab jism aadhe raste me sulagta hua chhod diya gaya, toh wo saari dabi hui khwahishein aur ek bacche ki chah achanak se dabe paon bahar nikal aayin. Mera dil andar se rone laga. Kya main zindagi bhar aisi hi adhoori rahoongi? Kya main kabhi us sukoon aur us khushi ko mehsoos nahi kar paungi jo ek aurat ka haq hoti hai?
 
Is adhoorepan aur jism ki garmi me, shaitan ne mere dimaag par ghera dalna shuru kiya. Main jitna un khayalon se bhaagna chahti thi, Pandey Ji ka wo robdar chehra meri aankhon ke samne utna hi saaf hota ja raha tha. Unka wo 40 saal ki umar ka mardana jism, unke choude seene, aur unki aankhon me jhalakti wo mardana kashish, jise dekh kar hi samajh aata tha ki wo kitne taqatwar aur mardana ufaan se bharpoor hain.
 
Mera dimaag mujhe ek aisi jagah le jaane laga jahan mujhe nahi jaana chahiye tha. Maine socha ki agar Pandey Ji jaisa mard kisi aurat ke saath hota, toh kya wo use is tarah do minute me adhoora chhodta? Unki wo ghurti hui nigahein, jo parlour me mere jism ki nazaqat ko naap rahi thin, unme ek aisi tishnagi thi jo shayad meri is adhoori pyaas ko poori tarah mita sakti thi. Unka wo mehenge perfume ki khushboo jaise ab bhi meri saanson me basi hui thi.
 
Mera jism un khayalon ke saath hi aur zor se dhadakne laga. Ek pal ke liye, sirf ek gunahgaar pal ke liye, mere andar ek aisi khwahish jagi ki kaash... kaash koi aisa mard hota jo mujhe poori tarah se ek aurat hone ka ehsaas dilata.
 
Jaise hi ye khayal mere dimaag me mukammal hua, mera poora jism darr aur sharmindagi se kaamp utha. Maine jhatke se apni aankhein kholi aur bistar par baith gayi.
 
"***! ***!" Maine dono haathon se apna chehra chhupa liya aur mere halaq se ek dabi hui cheekh nikal gayi. Mera dil itni zore se dhadak raha tha jaise abhi seene se bahar nikal aayega. Mujh par ek ajeeb sa gunah ka ehsaas taari ho gaya. Mai nek deeni aurat hoon, mai panch-waqta *** hoon, maine hamesha parda aur haya ki hifazat ki hai, phir mere dimaag me ek paraye mard, aur wo bhi ek gair *** mard ke baare me aise gande aur napaak khayal kaise aa sakte hain?, "Ya ***, mujhe maaf kar de! Mai bhatak rahi hoon, shaitan mujhe behka raha hai," maine roti hui aawaz me dabi dabi dua mangi.
 
Mujhe apne aap se ghin aane lagi. Maine paas me soye mere shauhar ko dekha, jo mujh par itna bharosa karte hain, jinhone subah hi mera haath thame hue kaha tha ki 'tumhara parda salamat rahe'. Wo kitne nek hain, bhale hi unme jismani kamzori hai, lekin unhone mujhe kabhi koi takleef nahi di, hamesha izzat di, mohabbat di. Aur mai yahan unke barabar me let kar ek paraye mard ke jism aur uski taqat ke baare me soch rahi hoon?
 
Ye mere nikaah ke khilaf tha, meri paakizagi ke khilaf tha. Maine mehsoos kiya ki mere parde me ek aisi darar aagayi hai jise koi dekh toh nahi sakta, lekin mera *** dekh raha hai. Meri aankhon se aansu nikal kar mere gaalon par behne lage. Mujhe lag raha tha ki main un auraton jaisi banti ja rahi hoon jinki main hamesha ninda karti thi.
 
Is zehni jung aur galati ke bojh ko main aur bardasht nahi kar paa rahi thi. Bistar par letna mere liye azaab ban gaya tha. Maine dheere se chadar hatayi, taaki Asif ki neend kharab na ho, aur dabe paon kamre se bahar nikal aayi.
 
Maine gussalkhane me jaakar thande paani se chehre ko dhoya. Paani ki thandak ne mere jism ki us jalti hui garmi ko thoda shaant kiya, lekin dil ka bojh abhi bhi wahi tha. Maine sarr par dupatta achhe se dhaanpa aur *** ki niyat baandhi. Jab main *** me gayi, toh mera sabr toot gaya. Mai zor-zor se subakne lagi, lekin meri aawaz bilkul dabi hui thi.
 
"Ya ***, mere is bhatakte hue dil ko sambhal le. Mujhe mere shauhar ka wafadar rakh. Shaitan ne jo napaak khayal mere dil me dale hain, unhe hamesha ke liye mita de. Mai kamzor pad rahi hoon, ***, mujhe is maali tangi aur jism ke imtihan se bahar nikal. Meri haya hi mera guroor hai, is guroor ko kabhi tootne mat dena."
 
Maine kaafi der tak *** me sarr rakh kar ro-ro kar apne un gunahgaar khayalon ki maafi mangi. *** se sarr uthane ke baad, mujhe thoda sa sukoon mehsoos hua. Maine tay kiya ki main ab se parlour jaate waqt apne dil aur nigaah par aur sakhti se pehra lagaungi, aur Pandey Ji ho ya koi bhi gair-mard, unka koi bhi khayal apne paas bhatakne bhi nahi dungi. Mera ye pehla aur aakhri bhatkaav tha, jise maine apni *** se dho diya tha.