24-05-2026, 04:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 24-05-2026, 04:36 PM by jaatrangila99. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
My feedback:-
Writing style and update timing: I am very much impressed by the writing style of author and also like the speed of delivering speed.
Intent: my honest one line review - Fuck the Intent. No one (other than author can understand what is going to happen in the story). So don't expect me to understand the intent behind any particular situation.
Moral Lecture: no one is here for learning purpose. If author is trying to teach us that some particular action have some unavoidable reaction, than alright. We all are here to satisfy our lust in one way or another. If someone is thinking (and living in a delululu) that cuckolding and this open marriage is bad, then one line for them. Yes it is not for everyone, but there are many couples (in india as well) who are living these kind of lifestyles and they are happy. I had pleasure of meeting 3 such couple.
Now Story:
Expected ending (with reason):- after reading ending of 1st part, I can say that I also had some idea's about some alternative endings. Let me explain-
(1) Suresh having sex with model. I don't know whether she will be a major character in next part, so I am not using her name. But I think author is trying to make it a open marriage type story. So I think this would have been a simple ending where Suresh is also having sex with some other lady.
(2) Sneha punishing Suresh by having sex with Gauthom.
Now feedback about last few updates: from update 156 to 167 -
What the hell man? Seriously ..... What the hell.....
You were writing and providing some fantastic updates and suddenly all this bullshit. I was not expecting this from you. Like story was slow. I agree. But it was making progress.
I know some readers were not satisfied with some updates and some other things. But you don't have to change this much.
Like Suresh. He was stairing at ciling listening to his wife's moaning. He was behaving like a pimp. But now he got balls big enough to physically stop Gowtham. This much character development without any signal or any explanations. And what is his this obsession? Like Sneha also told him to stop the sex part, but he is still hell bend on continuing it. I know you are writing a open marriage story but don't write like this.
Sneha - you mentioned in your intent that she is falling for the pleasure. No hard feelings. I can understand this part and this is actually very beautifully expressed part. But it was beautiful till Sneha was having sex and breaking rules till the open discussion with her husband. I was able to understand that she was allowed by her husband and she is having fun. She wants to do some experiments and I was ok with it and also enjoying it. After that part it become disgusting. Like she was behaving like a slut. And this is the part where most readers (like me) started disconnecting with the flow. We were not enjoying these parts.
Further expectations from part 2:-
(1) Character Sneha seriously need some development. Otherwise it will become like any other story where wife of Main character is a bimbo and slut. To fuck her, all you have to do is ..... just fuck her. Nothing else. She does not behave like heroine of this story. Like you don't have to put some efforts to gain her attention. No investment. Nothing. You can fuck her whenever you want. She is behaving like a teenager but she is the mother of a teenager. We expect some maturity from her behavior. In the name of falling for pleasure, don't ruin her.
(2) Suresh- I don't like this sudden change in him. That too without any arc. Like he was staring at ceiling and in next part he was physically stopping the sex. And don't give me this rubbish reason like he has made progress in office.
(3) New couple - Now we have a new couple. I like the part where she stopped him from 1st kiss. That was the part I like about author. He is expressive. He is not doing some earth shattering things in his story. Some normal activities are expressed in such a way that we (readers) are easily attracted to it. But after 2 updates they are couple. Now author had expressed that Gowtham will get the test of his own medicine. But to do that his wife has to open her leg for Suresh. But the problem is we readers were not able to read the journey of their marriage. So revenge will not be so satisfying.
(4) Fight between Titans- this is the part I am most worried about. One titan is supporting Gowtham (through his wife) and one titan is supporting Suresh (his boss). So I don't want to see both of them fighting with each other. This will ruin the story. And after investing so much time of establishing them in story, author also can't sideline them completely. So I don't know how he is going to do it.
Further suggestion to author:-
(1) Sneha's character need some development. Remove her slut image.
(2) Suresh also has to remove this cuckold tag from his name. I don't like how after each discussion with his wife, he still tells Sneha to continue having sex outside in name of "SLOWING DOWN".
(3) Don't make Sneha some slut. Like if there are chances then I don't mind her having sex. But not like a slut.
(4) Don't include further character from previous story. Not everyone has gone through past stories.
If possible, (I am saying if possible) delete all the updates after that punishment arc and re-write them in your style. They don't appear like author was writing in his usual style. They appeared like he was writing under some pressure. They appear rushed. Like author was scared form comments. So to pacify the readers, he did what the readers were demanding. Make Suresh a man. And Gowtham suddenly become 2 minute maggie and ejaculated prematurely (he also said sorry for this, which was new. I was used to Gowtham going on for hours and fucking the shit out of Sneha, but suddenly he is not able to perform) and Suresh suddenly walked in other apartment like a hero and save the girl (that too like a man. He litterly manhandled the fucker. I know he started jogging, but how he is able to suppress that macho type man. Suresh handled him like some grown up man handling some 5 year kid). Don't do this. You were giving 2 - 3 updates to make one single point and now you are doing 2 - 3 things in single update.
Buddy that's not your natural style of writing.
Don't repeat same mistakes in part 2. My feedback is not structured. I mentioned all the points in frustration after reading some last updates.
Best of luck for 2nd part. You are doing good. My expectation are very high from you. It is not like you can't deliver some good story. You have done it. Keep rocking .......
Writing style and update timing: I am very much impressed by the writing style of author and also like the speed of delivering speed.
Intent: my honest one line review - Fuck the Intent. No one (other than author can understand what is going to happen in the story). So don't expect me to understand the intent behind any particular situation.
Moral Lecture: no one is here for learning purpose. If author is trying to teach us that some particular action have some unavoidable reaction, than alright. We all are here to satisfy our lust in one way or another. If someone is thinking (and living in a delululu) that cuckolding and this open marriage is bad, then one line for them. Yes it is not for everyone, but there are many couples (in india as well) who are living these kind of lifestyles and they are happy. I had pleasure of meeting 3 such couple.
Now Story:
Expected ending (with reason):- after reading ending of 1st part, I can say that I also had some idea's about some alternative endings. Let me explain-
(1) Suresh having sex with model. I don't know whether she will be a major character in next part, so I am not using her name. But I think author is trying to make it a open marriage type story. So I think this would have been a simple ending where Suresh is also having sex with some other lady.
(2) Sneha punishing Suresh by having sex with Gauthom.
Now feedback about last few updates: from update 156 to 167 -
What the hell man? Seriously ..... What the hell.....
You were writing and providing some fantastic updates and suddenly all this bullshit. I was not expecting this from you. Like story was slow. I agree. But it was making progress.
I know some readers were not satisfied with some updates and some other things. But you don't have to change this much.
Like Suresh. He was stairing at ciling listening to his wife's moaning. He was behaving like a pimp. But now he got balls big enough to physically stop Gowtham. This much character development without any signal or any explanations. And what is his this obsession? Like Sneha also told him to stop the sex part, but he is still hell bend on continuing it. I know you are writing a open marriage story but don't write like this.
Sneha - you mentioned in your intent that she is falling for the pleasure. No hard feelings. I can understand this part and this is actually very beautifully expressed part. But it was beautiful till Sneha was having sex and breaking rules till the open discussion with her husband. I was able to understand that she was allowed by her husband and she is having fun. She wants to do some experiments and I was ok with it and also enjoying it. After that part it become disgusting. Like she was behaving like a slut. And this is the part where most readers (like me) started disconnecting with the flow. We were not enjoying these parts.
Further expectations from part 2:-
(1) Character Sneha seriously need some development. Otherwise it will become like any other story where wife of Main character is a bimbo and slut. To fuck her, all you have to do is ..... just fuck her. Nothing else. She does not behave like heroine of this story. Like you don't have to put some efforts to gain her attention. No investment. Nothing. You can fuck her whenever you want. She is behaving like a teenager but she is the mother of a teenager. We expect some maturity from her behavior. In the name of falling for pleasure, don't ruin her.
(2) Suresh- I don't like this sudden change in him. That too without any arc. Like he was staring at ceiling and in next part he was physically stopping the sex. And don't give me this rubbish reason like he has made progress in office.
(3) New couple - Now we have a new couple. I like the part where she stopped him from 1st kiss. That was the part I like about author. He is expressive. He is not doing some earth shattering things in his story. Some normal activities are expressed in such a way that we (readers) are easily attracted to it. But after 2 updates they are couple. Now author had expressed that Gowtham will get the test of his own medicine. But to do that his wife has to open her leg for Suresh. But the problem is we readers were not able to read the journey of their marriage. So revenge will not be so satisfying.
(4) Fight between Titans- this is the part I am most worried about. One titan is supporting Gowtham (through his wife) and one titan is supporting Suresh (his boss). So I don't want to see both of them fighting with each other. This will ruin the story. And after investing so much time of establishing them in story, author also can't sideline them completely. So I don't know how he is going to do it.
Further suggestion to author:-
(1) Sneha's character need some development. Remove her slut image.
(2) Suresh also has to remove this cuckold tag from his name. I don't like how after each discussion with his wife, he still tells Sneha to continue having sex outside in name of "SLOWING DOWN".
(3) Don't make Sneha some slut. Like if there are chances then I don't mind her having sex. But not like a slut.
(4) Don't include further character from previous story. Not everyone has gone through past stories.
If possible, (I am saying if possible) delete all the updates after that punishment arc and re-write them in your style. They don't appear like author was writing in his usual style. They appeared like he was writing under some pressure. They appear rushed. Like author was scared form comments. So to pacify the readers, he did what the readers were demanding. Make Suresh a man. And Gowtham suddenly become 2 minute maggie and ejaculated prematurely (he also said sorry for this, which was new. I was used to Gowtham going on for hours and fucking the shit out of Sneha, but suddenly he is not able to perform) and Suresh suddenly walked in other apartment like a hero and save the girl (that too like a man. He litterly manhandled the fucker. I know he started jogging, but how he is able to suppress that macho type man. Suresh handled him like some grown up man handling some 5 year kid). Don't do this. You were giving 2 - 3 updates to make one single point and now you are doing 2 - 3 things in single update.
Buddy that's not your natural style of writing.
Don't repeat same mistakes in part 2. My feedback is not structured. I mentioned all the points in frustration after reading some last updates.
Best of luck for 2nd part. You are doing good. My expectation are very high from you. It is not like you can't deliver some good story. You have done it. Keep rocking .......
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