28-04-2026, 10:03 PM
Chapter - 29
Noor aur Hira muskurate hue ek doosre se hansi-mazaak kar rahe the, aur main khidki ke kone se chhupkar unhe dekhta raha, chehre par ek halki si muskan liye. Unka yeh khel dekh mujhe sach mein maza aa raha tha. Meri mehnat rang la rahi thi—meri biwi, jo pehle dari-sehmi si rehti thi, ab us kameene Hira ke saath bilkul aaram se ghul-mil gayi thi, jaise dono purane dost hon.
“Noor, tera muh kitna mast hai, saali! Teri chusai se to maza hi aa gaya!” Hira ne tharki lehje mein kaha. Noor ne uski baat sunte hi uske seene par ek chhota sa ghusa maara aur boli, “Badmash kahin ka!” Un dono ka hansi-mazaak chal raha tha, ek doosre ko chhedte hue, aur main wahan se dheere se neeche ki taraf nikal gaya. Mere chehre ki muskan sab bayaan kar rahi thi—main andar se sach mein bahut khush tha.
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Main dheere-dheere neeche hall mein pahuncha, mera lund halka-halka kada tha, ek ajeeb si lazzat mere dil-o-dimaag mein chhayi hui thi. Muskurata hua main sofe pe baith gaya. Kuch pal baad meri biwi Noor neeche utri, uske chehre ki chamak dekh main lazzat se bhar utha. Noor ko dekhte hue maine haath se ishara kiya aur kaha, “Noor, sab theek hai na upar? Usne achha kaam kiya na?” Noor ne sharmaate hue ek muskan di, uske chehre ki noorani chamak dekh main bhi muskura diya. “Haan, Rizwan ke abbu,” usne chehak kar kaha, “usne upar achhe se kaam kiya hai.” Uski baat mein ek lazzat thi, jaise woh bhi andar se khush ho. Maine uska ishara bhaanp liya aur kaha, “Noor, chai laao na.” Woh chehakti hui boli, “Ji, Rizwan ke abbu!” aur kitchen ki taraf chali gayi.
Tabhi woh kameena Hira chhat se utarta hua dikha, uske chehre pe sukoon tha, jaise kayi dino baad uska bojh halka hua ho. Mujhe dekhkar usne ishara kiya, jaise poochh raha ho ki koi aaspaas to nahi. Maine haath se use apne paas bulaya aur kaha, “Maza aaya, saale, ya aaj bhi kuch nahi hua?” Woh sunte hi tharki hasi ke saath bola, “Achha hua tune wapas bula liya, saale! Aaj saali ekdam mood mein thi, haha!” Hum dono hansne lage. Phir maine poochha, “Kya-kya kiya?” Usne mujhe ghoora aur kaha, “Bhadwe, tu wahin tha, tujhe sab pata hai kya kiya!” Main bhi hans diya.
Tabhi Noor chai leke wapas aayi aur Hira ko dekhte hue boli, “Aap bhi chai pi ke jao.” Yeh sun main dil se khush ho gaya—meri biwi us kameene ko izzat de rahi thi. Hira na-nukur karne laga, lekin main bol utha, “Haan, yaar, chai pi le!” Meri baat sunte hi woh ruk gaya aur meri bagal mein lakdi ki kursi khiskakar baith gaya. Noor ne jaldi se uske liye chai ka pyala rakha aur apne kamre ki taraf chali gayi.
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Hum dono baithkar chai pi rahe the, sannata faila hua tha. Main chai ke pyale ko ghoorta hua mobile mein aankhein gadaye tha. Tabhi kamre se Ammi uthkar kitchen ki taraf gayi, neend mein doobi hui, unka veil thoda uljha-sa, theek se nahi bandha tha. Hum dono unhe ghoorne lage. Maine us kameene Hira ki taraf dekha aur dheemi awaaz mein poochha, “Kya chal raha hai Ammi ke saath?” Usne haule se chai ki chuski li aur bola, “Panna ne aadha kaam kar diya, lekin abhi bistar garam nahi kiya. Par jaldi hi kar dega, woh saala expert hai.” Main uski baat sun soch mein pad gaya aur kaha, “Bada chalu hai woh to! Aakhir itni jaldi ek mazhabi aurat ko kaise pata liya?” Hira ne kuch pal socha, phir tharki muskan ke saath jawab diya, “Tu uski chinta mat kar. Mazhabi, sanskari auraton ko patana uski khaasiyat hai.” Hum dono yeh sun hans pade.
Maine phir poochha, “Saale, tune mujhse paanch hazaar liye, uska kya kiya? Daaru-ya juwe mein to nahi uda diya?” Usne sar naa mein hilaya aur kaha, “Chal, bhadwe, main kuch bhi karoon, tujhe kya?” Main chup raha, bas use jaate hue dekhta raha. Kuch hi pal mein woh ghar se bahar nikal gaya, aur maine ek lambi, band si saans chhodi.
Shaam tak ghar mein aisa koi mahaul nahi tha jisse lage ki ghar ki do auratein nazaayaz talluqat mein uljhi hui hain.
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Agla din Sunday tha. Jab tak main bistar se utha, ghar mein nashta tayyar ho chuka tha. Main utha, fresh hua, aur seedhe mez par baith gaya. Saamne khana parosa hua tha, jise main khaane laga.
Tabhi piche se Abbu meri bagal mein aake baith gaye. “Beta, tumhari door ki khala hain na,” unhone kaha.
“Kaun, Abbu?” maine poochha.
“Arre, wahi jo Dilli mein rehti hain, business tha unka.”
“Achha, Aisha Khala, yaad aaya. Boliye, Abbu, kya hua?”
“Beta, unke yahan se ek function ka invitation aaya hai. Phone bhi kiya tha, bula rahe hain hume.”
“Hum itni jaldi kaise jaa sakte hain? Meri bank ki chhutti to namumkin hai. Kab hai function, aur kya hai function mein?”
Abbu ne mujhe ghoora aur bole, “Arre, yeh to maine poochhna hi bhool gaya.”
Yeh sun maine apne sir par haath maara. “Kya, Abbu, puri baat kam se kam pata to kiya karo!” Main nashta khatam karke utha aur apne kamre mein chala gaya.
Jaise hi main bistar par leta, mera phone baj utha. Dekha to ek unknown number tha. Maine pehle call kaat di, lekin jab doosri baar wahi number se phone aaya, maine aakhir utha liya. Saamne se ek bhari awaaz wala aadmi bola, aur uski awaaz sunte hi main samajh gaya—yeh us kameene Hira ka dost Panna tha.
“Sahab, Hira bata raha tha ghar mein kaam bacha hua hai,” usne kaha.
Main kuch pal soch mein pad gaya. Mujhe samajh aa gaya ki yeh dono kya plan kar rahe hain. Maine jawab diya, “Haan, kuch kaam pending hai.”
“Sahab, Hira aaj nahi aa payega. Main woh kaam kar doonga. Bata dijiye, kab tak aana hai?”
Mainne sochkar kaha, “Tum 12-1 baje tak aa jao.” Khana-peena ho jaane ke baad ghar mein khamoshi milti thi.
“Ji, sahab,” usne kaha, aur phone kat gaya.
Maine phone rakha, lekin mera dil tezi se dhadak raha tha. Aakhir baat meri Ammi ki thi.
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Kareeb ek baje ke aaspaas, hum sab khana kha ke apne-apne kamron mein baithe the. Meri Noor abhi bhi phone pe lagi hui thi, kisi se baatein karne mein masroof. Main sofe par baitha, bharpet khane ke baad jhapki si le raha tha, aankhein aadhi band. Tabhi darwaze ki bell baji. Maine Noor ki taraf dekha aur kaha, “Noor, darwaza khol do na, koi aaya hai.” Noor ne meri taraf dekha, ek halki muskan ke saath boli, “Khol deti hoon, Rizwan ke abbu,” aur darwaza kholne chali gayi.
Mujhe yaad aaya ki Panna aane wala tha, to main bhi bahar gaya. Wahi tha, mujhe dekhte hi usne salaam thoka. Maine bhi salaam ka jawab diya. Noor wapas kamre ki taraf chali gayi, aur Panna ne mujhse poochha, “Kya kaam bacha hai, sahab?” Main kuch pal soch mein pad gaya. Ammi ke alawa koi kaam to tha nahi. Phir maine kaha, “Dekh, Panna, chhat ka kaam to ho chuka hai, lekin soch raha hoon ghar ki safai ho jaye to achha rahega.” Woh meri baat kam sun raha tha, uski nazar andar jhank rahi thi, shayad Ammi ko talash kar rahi thi. Maine thodi jor se kaha, “Pehle chhat saaf kar, phir ghar ke kamre bhi saaf kar dena.” Usne meri taraf dekha, sir haan mein hilaya, aur chhat ki taraf chala gaya.
Kareeb ek ghante tak main bechaini se intezaar karta raha. Dil mein ek baar to khayal aaya ki Ammi ko chhat pe bhej doon, lekin phir socha, sab kuch apne aap ho. Main kayi dafa chhat pe gaya, yeh dekhne ke liye ki woh harami kya kar raha hai. Tazzub ki baat thi—woh sach mein kaam kar raha tha.
Chhat ki safai ke baad Panna neeche utra, paseene se bheega hua. Main sofe pe baitha TV dekh raha tha. Usne kaha, “Sahab, chhat ki safai ho gayi, ek baar dekh lo.” Maine socha, Ammi ko bhej doon, lekin phir khud jaane ka faisla kiya. Hum dono chhat pe chadh gaye. Usne kaam achha kiya tha. “Panna, safai to pakki hui hai,” maine kaha. Woh khush ho gaya aur bola, “Mera sab kaam pakka hota hai, sahab.” Mere dimaag mein Ammi ki tasveer ubhar aayi, aur main muskura diya. “Achha, ab neeche ke kamre bhi saaf kar de,” maine kaha. Usne sir hilaya, lekin bola, “Jarur, lekin kamre ki safai mein sab geela ho jayega.” Maine kuch der socha aur kaha, “Sahi bol raha hai, Panna. Khair, woh baad mein saaf karwa lenge. Chalo, tera kaam ho gaya.”
Woh hasa aur mujhe ghoor ke dekha. “Nahi hua, sahab, sab kaam nahi hua.” Maine sawaliya andaaz mein poochha, “Kya kaam bacha hai?” Woh tharki hasi ke saath bola, “Sahab, kaam to bacha hi hua hai.” Maine phir poochha, “Kya bacha hai?” Is baar usne seedha kaha, “Apne baap ko rafuchakkar karo, sahab. Apki Ammi se thodi baatein karni hain.” Main uska mazaak sun ke hans diya. “Achha, aisi kya baat hai jo unke saamne nahi kar sakta?” Usne sir naa mein hilaya aur kaha, “Sahab, aapko sab pata hai. Aap apne bhadwe baap ko bhagao na.” Main uski baat sun dobara hans diya aur Abbu ko phone lagane laga.
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Phone ki ghanti ke kuch pal baad Abbu ne call utha liya.
“Abbu, main aur Panna chhat pe hain,” maine safed jhooth bola, “Tanki ka washer toot gaya hai. Jaldi se ek naya le aao.”
“Achha, beta, bagal ki dukaan se le aata hoon,” Abbu ne jawab diya, thodi susti se.
“Nahi, Abbu, wahan bahut paise lagenge!” maine jhat se kaha, “Maine tanki wale se baat ki thi—washer toot jaye to company free mein badal degi.”
“Toh phir kya karna hai?” Abbu ne poochha, thoda uljhan mein.
“Aap company ke office chale jao, wahan free mein mil jayega.”
“Woh kahan hai, beta?”
“Gande naale wale crossroad ke paas, Abbu. Jaldi karo, warna der ho jayegi!”
Maine phone kaat diya aur Panna ki taraf dekha, ek tharki si muskan ke saath. “Le, saale, tera kaam ho gaya!”
Panna ne mujhe mazedaar andaaz mein salute maara. “Shukriya, sahab! Aap to apne baap ke bhi baap ho!” Hum dono chhat ke kone par chale gaye, neeche Abbu ke nikalne ka intezaar karte hue baatein shuru ki.
“Ab bol, baat kahan tak pahunchi?” maine poochha, aankh mein chhedkhani bhari.
Panna ne ek zor ki tharki hasi chhodi. “Arre, sahab, aap to sach mein bhadwa nikle!”
Main bhi hans pada. “Haan, yaar, bhadwa hi hoon! Ab bol na, kya scene hai?”
Woh gunda jaisa aadmi tha, lekin baat karne mein kaafi dilchasp tha, izzat ke saath thodi si besharmi mila ke. Maine phir thoda josh mein poochha, “Bata, kaise pataya meri Ammi ko, saale? Woh to itni kattar, mazhabi aurat hain!”
Panna ne meri taraf dekha, aankh mein shaitani chamak. “Kattar ho ya koi aur, sahab, aurat to aurat hai. Aur yeh,” usne apni pant sarka di, “isse koi mana nahi kar sakti!”
Meri nazar uske lund par padi, aur aankhein fati ki fati reh gayi. “Baap re, yeh kya cheez hai!” maine hairani se kaha. Bilkul dheela tha, par itna bada, jaise kisi bacche ki kalaai! Panna zor se hasa. “Iske saamne sab auratein jhuk jaati hain, sahab!”
Mere muh se nikal gaya, “Ammi nahi le payengi, yaar!”
Woh pet pakad ke hansne laga. “Arre, sahab, tension mat lo! Tum bhi to wahin se nikle ho, na? Jab tum jaise sher ko rakh sakti hain, to yeh kya cheez hai?”
Main uski baat sun ke khilkhila utha. “Achha, saale, tu mere purane ghar mein ghusega?”
Woh bhi hasa, aankh maarte hue. “Chinta mat karo, sahab. Apki Ammi ko itne pyar se daalunga, unhe pata bhi nahi chalega!”
Woh yeh bol hi raha tha ki Abbu ghar se bahar nikle, aur maine us kameene ko ishara kiya aur kaha, "Le kar diya tera kaam!", usne phir mujhe salami di, aur niche ki aur jaane laga.
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Main 5 minute intezaar karte raha, meri dil haule haule dhadak rahi thi, mujhe ahsas hua ki mujhe jara bhi jalan nahi ho rahi thi hira ya panna se jo meri bibi aur ammi ko pataye hue the, balki mujhe lazzat aur faqr mehsus ho raha tha, main dil-o-dil janata tha ki main ek cuck ban chuka tha.
Main neeche utra aur seedha Ammi ke kamre ki taraf gaya. Darwaza band tha, aur koi tareeka nahi tha andar jhaankne ka. Maine dimaag lagaya aur ek kanch ka glass utha liya. Use ulta karke darwaze par chipkaya, taaki andar ki awaazein sun saku. Glass ke sahare thodi-thodi awaazein aane lagi—dheemi, par saaf. Andar mujhe sunai dene laga un dono ki guftgu, aur mera dimaag ek ganda, jhalak sa sapna banane laga.
“Bhabhi ji, kya nakhre dikha rahi hai, saali?” Panna ki awaaz bhari thi, lekin ek gandi, dabav wali tharak se bhari. “Teri chut bhi to jal rahi hai, mujhe pata hai tu yeh lund chahati hai!” Main imagine karne laga: Panna Ammi ke paas khada, unka shalwar kameez ka dupatta zameen par gira hua, uski moti kalaai unki nazuk si kameez ke kinaare se khelti hui.
“Nahi, Panna!” Ammi ki awaaz aayi, sakht, par ek thodi si kampan ke saath. “Yeh besharmi chhodo! Main acchi aurat hoon, mujhe chhodo, yeh galat hai!” Meri aankhon ke saamne tasveer ubhri: Ammi, 50 saal ki umar, shalwar kameez mein, unka chehra sharam se laal, lekin aankhein Panna ke mazboot jism par tikti hui, jaise rokna chahti hon par dil kahin doob raha ho.
Panna ne ek gandi, vijayi hasi chhodi. “Saali, nakhre band kar! Tujhe chod ke rahunga, aur tu bhi is lund ke liye tadap rahi hai, bol na!” Main sochne laga: Panna ab Ammi ke aur paas, unki kalaai pakadta hua, uska bada, dheela lund pant ke andar ubharta hua, aur Ammi ka dupatta dheere se khisakta hua.
Phir Panna ki awaaz mein aur sakhti aayi, jaise woh poora control le raha ho. “Saali randi,” usne kaha, awaaz mein ek ganda maza. “Teri yeh shalwar ke andar kya chhupa hai, dikha to zara! Tadap rahi hai na, meri baaton se?” Meri tasveer mein: Panna Ammi ko diwaar ke sahare le gaya, unki kameez ka kinaara uthata hua, aur Ammi ki saansein tez, unka chehra sharam aur tharak ke beech jhoolta hua.
“Panna, bas... yeh galat hai,” Ammi ne dheeme se kaha, par unki awaaz mein woh pehli wali taaqat nahi thi. “Koi dekh lega...” Main imagine kar raha tha: Ammi ka haath Panna ke seene par, rokte hue, par unki ungliyan uski shirt par dheere-dheere fisalti hui, jaise woh uske jism ke garam ahsaas mein khud ko kho rahi hon.
Panna ne ek tharki hasi ke saath kaha, “Dekhne wala koi nahi, saali. Abhi to tujhe tadpaunga, yeh lund itni jaldi nahi milega. Bol, kitna chahiye tujhe?” Meri aankhon ke saamne: Panna Ammi ke kaan ke paas, dheere se bolta hua, unki shalwar ke nada ko chhedta hua, aur Ammi ki aankhein jhuki, sharam se laal, par ek ajeeb si chingaari ke saath.
Main wahi khada raha, glass darwaze se chipka hua, dil mein ek lazzat ka toofan uth raha tha.
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Tabhi Ammi ke kamre mein phone ki ghanti goonj uthi. Ammi ne phone uthaya aur Abbu se baat karne lagi. Unki awaaz se laga jaise unhone mujhse baat karne ke liye call kiya ho. Main glass hatakar wahan se utha aur apne kamre mein ghus gaya, jahan Noor chain ki neend so rahi thi. Kuch pal baad Ammi kamre mein aayi, unke haath mein phone tha. Unki nazrein jhuki hui thi, chehra aur gaal laal-laal, jaise sharam aur bechaini ke beech jhool rahe hon. Unki shalwar kameez ka dupatta thoda uljha-sa, ek kona kandhe se sarkar zameen ki taraf latak raha tha. Maine chupke se phone le liya.
“Haan, Abbu,” maine kaha, “main dukaan se laut raha hoon. Woh band thi aaj.”\
“Achha, Abbu, to main kal office se thoda break leke aa jaunga,” maine jawab diya.\
“Achha, beta, main isliye phone kiya tha,” Abbu bole, “subah bataya tha na, Dilli wali khala...”\
“Aisha Khala?” maine poochha.\
“Haan, unka kayi dafa call aaya hai. Humein unke yahan jana padega. Unki beti ki nikaah hai.”\
“Lekin, Abbu, hum itni jaldi kaise jayenge? Mere office mein chhutti kaise milegi?”\
“Koshish karo, beta,” Abbu ne dheere se kaha.\
“Dekhta hoon, Abbu,” maine kaha aur phone kaat diya.
Ammi wahi khadi thi, hum dono ki baatein gaur se sun rahi thi. Unke chehre par shikan thi, jaise kuch kehna chahti hon, par shabdon ka bojh unhe rok raha ho. Unhone dheere se kaha, “Imran beta, hum chale jate hain. Agar tujhe chhutti na mile to...” Main samajh gaya—Ammi Panna se bachne ki aakhri koshish kar rahi thi. Unki awaaz mein ek chhupa sa darr tha, par unke laal gaalon mein kuch aur bhi chhupa tha, shayad wohi lazzat jo main apne dil mein mehsoos kar raha tha. Maine muskura ke jawab diya, “Ammi, main boss se baat karta hoon. Shaam ko phir baat karenge.”
Meri baat sun Ammi wapas apne kamre ki taraf chali gayi, unka dupatta zameen par ghasitata hua. Mujhe laga Panna wahi hoga, lekin shayad Ammi ne use pehle hi bhaga diya tha. Thodi si mayoosi chhayi—Panna ne aaj ka khel to poora kar hi diya tha. Par man hi man main muskura raha tha.
Noor aur Hira muskurate hue ek doosre se hansi-mazaak kar rahe the, aur main khidki ke kone se chhupkar unhe dekhta raha, chehre par ek halki si muskan liye. Unka yeh khel dekh mujhe sach mein maza aa raha tha. Meri mehnat rang la rahi thi—meri biwi, jo pehle dari-sehmi si rehti thi, ab us kameene Hira ke saath bilkul aaram se ghul-mil gayi thi, jaise dono purane dost hon.
“Noor, tera muh kitna mast hai, saali! Teri chusai se to maza hi aa gaya!” Hira ne tharki lehje mein kaha. Noor ne uski baat sunte hi uske seene par ek chhota sa ghusa maara aur boli, “Badmash kahin ka!” Un dono ka hansi-mazaak chal raha tha, ek doosre ko chhedte hue, aur main wahan se dheere se neeche ki taraf nikal gaya. Mere chehre ki muskan sab bayaan kar rahi thi—main andar se sach mein bahut khush tha.
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Main dheere-dheere neeche hall mein pahuncha, mera lund halka-halka kada tha, ek ajeeb si lazzat mere dil-o-dimaag mein chhayi hui thi. Muskurata hua main sofe pe baith gaya. Kuch pal baad meri biwi Noor neeche utri, uske chehre ki chamak dekh main lazzat se bhar utha. Noor ko dekhte hue maine haath se ishara kiya aur kaha, “Noor, sab theek hai na upar? Usne achha kaam kiya na?” Noor ne sharmaate hue ek muskan di, uske chehre ki noorani chamak dekh main bhi muskura diya. “Haan, Rizwan ke abbu,” usne chehak kar kaha, “usne upar achhe se kaam kiya hai.” Uski baat mein ek lazzat thi, jaise woh bhi andar se khush ho. Maine uska ishara bhaanp liya aur kaha, “Noor, chai laao na.” Woh chehakti hui boli, “Ji, Rizwan ke abbu!” aur kitchen ki taraf chali gayi.
Tabhi woh kameena Hira chhat se utarta hua dikha, uske chehre pe sukoon tha, jaise kayi dino baad uska bojh halka hua ho. Mujhe dekhkar usne ishara kiya, jaise poochh raha ho ki koi aaspaas to nahi. Maine haath se use apne paas bulaya aur kaha, “Maza aaya, saale, ya aaj bhi kuch nahi hua?” Woh sunte hi tharki hasi ke saath bola, “Achha hua tune wapas bula liya, saale! Aaj saali ekdam mood mein thi, haha!” Hum dono hansne lage. Phir maine poochha, “Kya-kya kiya?” Usne mujhe ghoora aur kaha, “Bhadwe, tu wahin tha, tujhe sab pata hai kya kiya!” Main bhi hans diya.
Tabhi Noor chai leke wapas aayi aur Hira ko dekhte hue boli, “Aap bhi chai pi ke jao.” Yeh sun main dil se khush ho gaya—meri biwi us kameene ko izzat de rahi thi. Hira na-nukur karne laga, lekin main bol utha, “Haan, yaar, chai pi le!” Meri baat sunte hi woh ruk gaya aur meri bagal mein lakdi ki kursi khiskakar baith gaya. Noor ne jaldi se uske liye chai ka pyala rakha aur apne kamre ki taraf chali gayi.
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Hum dono baithkar chai pi rahe the, sannata faila hua tha. Main chai ke pyale ko ghoorta hua mobile mein aankhein gadaye tha. Tabhi kamre se Ammi uthkar kitchen ki taraf gayi, neend mein doobi hui, unka veil thoda uljha-sa, theek se nahi bandha tha. Hum dono unhe ghoorne lage. Maine us kameene Hira ki taraf dekha aur dheemi awaaz mein poochha, “Kya chal raha hai Ammi ke saath?” Usne haule se chai ki chuski li aur bola, “Panna ne aadha kaam kar diya, lekin abhi bistar garam nahi kiya. Par jaldi hi kar dega, woh saala expert hai.” Main uski baat sun soch mein pad gaya aur kaha, “Bada chalu hai woh to! Aakhir itni jaldi ek mazhabi aurat ko kaise pata liya?” Hira ne kuch pal socha, phir tharki muskan ke saath jawab diya, “Tu uski chinta mat kar. Mazhabi, sanskari auraton ko patana uski khaasiyat hai.” Hum dono yeh sun hans pade.
Maine phir poochha, “Saale, tune mujhse paanch hazaar liye, uska kya kiya? Daaru-ya juwe mein to nahi uda diya?” Usne sar naa mein hilaya aur kaha, “Chal, bhadwe, main kuch bhi karoon, tujhe kya?” Main chup raha, bas use jaate hue dekhta raha. Kuch hi pal mein woh ghar se bahar nikal gaya, aur maine ek lambi, band si saans chhodi.
Shaam tak ghar mein aisa koi mahaul nahi tha jisse lage ki ghar ki do auratein nazaayaz talluqat mein uljhi hui hain.
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Agla din Sunday tha. Jab tak main bistar se utha, ghar mein nashta tayyar ho chuka tha. Main utha, fresh hua, aur seedhe mez par baith gaya. Saamne khana parosa hua tha, jise main khaane laga.
Tabhi piche se Abbu meri bagal mein aake baith gaye. “Beta, tumhari door ki khala hain na,” unhone kaha.
“Kaun, Abbu?” maine poochha.
“Arre, wahi jo Dilli mein rehti hain, business tha unka.”
“Achha, Aisha Khala, yaad aaya. Boliye, Abbu, kya hua?”
“Beta, unke yahan se ek function ka invitation aaya hai. Phone bhi kiya tha, bula rahe hain hume.”
“Hum itni jaldi kaise jaa sakte hain? Meri bank ki chhutti to namumkin hai. Kab hai function, aur kya hai function mein?”
Abbu ne mujhe ghoora aur bole, “Arre, yeh to maine poochhna hi bhool gaya.”
Yeh sun maine apne sir par haath maara. “Kya, Abbu, puri baat kam se kam pata to kiya karo!” Main nashta khatam karke utha aur apne kamre mein chala gaya.
Jaise hi main bistar par leta, mera phone baj utha. Dekha to ek unknown number tha. Maine pehle call kaat di, lekin jab doosri baar wahi number se phone aaya, maine aakhir utha liya. Saamne se ek bhari awaaz wala aadmi bola, aur uski awaaz sunte hi main samajh gaya—yeh us kameene Hira ka dost Panna tha.
“Sahab, Hira bata raha tha ghar mein kaam bacha hua hai,” usne kaha.
Main kuch pal soch mein pad gaya. Mujhe samajh aa gaya ki yeh dono kya plan kar rahe hain. Maine jawab diya, “Haan, kuch kaam pending hai.”
“Sahab, Hira aaj nahi aa payega. Main woh kaam kar doonga. Bata dijiye, kab tak aana hai?”
Mainne sochkar kaha, “Tum 12-1 baje tak aa jao.” Khana-peena ho jaane ke baad ghar mein khamoshi milti thi.
“Ji, sahab,” usne kaha, aur phone kat gaya.
Maine phone rakha, lekin mera dil tezi se dhadak raha tha. Aakhir baat meri Ammi ki thi.
---
Kareeb ek baje ke aaspaas, hum sab khana kha ke apne-apne kamron mein baithe the. Meri Noor abhi bhi phone pe lagi hui thi, kisi se baatein karne mein masroof. Main sofe par baitha, bharpet khane ke baad jhapki si le raha tha, aankhein aadhi band. Tabhi darwaze ki bell baji. Maine Noor ki taraf dekha aur kaha, “Noor, darwaza khol do na, koi aaya hai.” Noor ne meri taraf dekha, ek halki muskan ke saath boli, “Khol deti hoon, Rizwan ke abbu,” aur darwaza kholne chali gayi.
Mujhe yaad aaya ki Panna aane wala tha, to main bhi bahar gaya. Wahi tha, mujhe dekhte hi usne salaam thoka. Maine bhi salaam ka jawab diya. Noor wapas kamre ki taraf chali gayi, aur Panna ne mujhse poochha, “Kya kaam bacha hai, sahab?” Main kuch pal soch mein pad gaya. Ammi ke alawa koi kaam to tha nahi. Phir maine kaha, “Dekh, Panna, chhat ka kaam to ho chuka hai, lekin soch raha hoon ghar ki safai ho jaye to achha rahega.” Woh meri baat kam sun raha tha, uski nazar andar jhank rahi thi, shayad Ammi ko talash kar rahi thi. Maine thodi jor se kaha, “Pehle chhat saaf kar, phir ghar ke kamre bhi saaf kar dena.” Usne meri taraf dekha, sir haan mein hilaya, aur chhat ki taraf chala gaya.
Kareeb ek ghante tak main bechaini se intezaar karta raha. Dil mein ek baar to khayal aaya ki Ammi ko chhat pe bhej doon, lekin phir socha, sab kuch apne aap ho. Main kayi dafa chhat pe gaya, yeh dekhne ke liye ki woh harami kya kar raha hai. Tazzub ki baat thi—woh sach mein kaam kar raha tha.
Chhat ki safai ke baad Panna neeche utra, paseene se bheega hua. Main sofe pe baitha TV dekh raha tha. Usne kaha, “Sahab, chhat ki safai ho gayi, ek baar dekh lo.” Maine socha, Ammi ko bhej doon, lekin phir khud jaane ka faisla kiya. Hum dono chhat pe chadh gaye. Usne kaam achha kiya tha. “Panna, safai to pakki hui hai,” maine kaha. Woh khush ho gaya aur bola, “Mera sab kaam pakka hota hai, sahab.” Mere dimaag mein Ammi ki tasveer ubhar aayi, aur main muskura diya. “Achha, ab neeche ke kamre bhi saaf kar de,” maine kaha. Usne sir hilaya, lekin bola, “Jarur, lekin kamre ki safai mein sab geela ho jayega.” Maine kuch der socha aur kaha, “Sahi bol raha hai, Panna. Khair, woh baad mein saaf karwa lenge. Chalo, tera kaam ho gaya.”
Woh hasa aur mujhe ghoor ke dekha. “Nahi hua, sahab, sab kaam nahi hua.” Maine sawaliya andaaz mein poochha, “Kya kaam bacha hai?” Woh tharki hasi ke saath bola, “Sahab, kaam to bacha hi hua hai.” Maine phir poochha, “Kya bacha hai?” Is baar usne seedha kaha, “Apne baap ko rafuchakkar karo, sahab. Apki Ammi se thodi baatein karni hain.” Main uska mazaak sun ke hans diya. “Achha, aisi kya baat hai jo unke saamne nahi kar sakta?” Usne sir naa mein hilaya aur kaha, “Sahab, aapko sab pata hai. Aap apne bhadwe baap ko bhagao na.” Main uski baat sun dobara hans diya aur Abbu ko phone lagane laga.
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Phone ki ghanti ke kuch pal baad Abbu ne call utha liya.
“Abbu, main aur Panna chhat pe hain,” maine safed jhooth bola, “Tanki ka washer toot gaya hai. Jaldi se ek naya le aao.”
“Achha, beta, bagal ki dukaan se le aata hoon,” Abbu ne jawab diya, thodi susti se.
“Nahi, Abbu, wahan bahut paise lagenge!” maine jhat se kaha, “Maine tanki wale se baat ki thi—washer toot jaye to company free mein badal degi.”
“Toh phir kya karna hai?” Abbu ne poochha, thoda uljhan mein.
“Aap company ke office chale jao, wahan free mein mil jayega.”
“Woh kahan hai, beta?”
“Gande naale wale crossroad ke paas, Abbu. Jaldi karo, warna der ho jayegi!”
Maine phone kaat diya aur Panna ki taraf dekha, ek tharki si muskan ke saath. “Le, saale, tera kaam ho gaya!”
Panna ne mujhe mazedaar andaaz mein salute maara. “Shukriya, sahab! Aap to apne baap ke bhi baap ho!” Hum dono chhat ke kone par chale gaye, neeche Abbu ke nikalne ka intezaar karte hue baatein shuru ki.
“Ab bol, baat kahan tak pahunchi?” maine poochha, aankh mein chhedkhani bhari.
Panna ne ek zor ki tharki hasi chhodi. “Arre, sahab, aap to sach mein bhadwa nikle!”
Main bhi hans pada. “Haan, yaar, bhadwa hi hoon! Ab bol na, kya scene hai?”
Woh gunda jaisa aadmi tha, lekin baat karne mein kaafi dilchasp tha, izzat ke saath thodi si besharmi mila ke. Maine phir thoda josh mein poochha, “Bata, kaise pataya meri Ammi ko, saale? Woh to itni kattar, mazhabi aurat hain!”
Panna ne meri taraf dekha, aankh mein shaitani chamak. “Kattar ho ya koi aur, sahab, aurat to aurat hai. Aur yeh,” usne apni pant sarka di, “isse koi mana nahi kar sakti!”
Meri nazar uske lund par padi, aur aankhein fati ki fati reh gayi. “Baap re, yeh kya cheez hai!” maine hairani se kaha. Bilkul dheela tha, par itna bada, jaise kisi bacche ki kalaai! Panna zor se hasa. “Iske saamne sab auratein jhuk jaati hain, sahab!”
Mere muh se nikal gaya, “Ammi nahi le payengi, yaar!”
Woh pet pakad ke hansne laga. “Arre, sahab, tension mat lo! Tum bhi to wahin se nikle ho, na? Jab tum jaise sher ko rakh sakti hain, to yeh kya cheez hai?”
Main uski baat sun ke khilkhila utha. “Achha, saale, tu mere purane ghar mein ghusega?”
Woh bhi hasa, aankh maarte hue. “Chinta mat karo, sahab. Apki Ammi ko itne pyar se daalunga, unhe pata bhi nahi chalega!”
Woh yeh bol hi raha tha ki Abbu ghar se bahar nikle, aur maine us kameene ko ishara kiya aur kaha, "Le kar diya tera kaam!", usne phir mujhe salami di, aur niche ki aur jaane laga.
---
Main 5 minute intezaar karte raha, meri dil haule haule dhadak rahi thi, mujhe ahsas hua ki mujhe jara bhi jalan nahi ho rahi thi hira ya panna se jo meri bibi aur ammi ko pataye hue the, balki mujhe lazzat aur faqr mehsus ho raha tha, main dil-o-dil janata tha ki main ek cuck ban chuka tha.
Main neeche utra aur seedha Ammi ke kamre ki taraf gaya. Darwaza band tha, aur koi tareeka nahi tha andar jhaankne ka. Maine dimaag lagaya aur ek kanch ka glass utha liya. Use ulta karke darwaze par chipkaya, taaki andar ki awaazein sun saku. Glass ke sahare thodi-thodi awaazein aane lagi—dheemi, par saaf. Andar mujhe sunai dene laga un dono ki guftgu, aur mera dimaag ek ganda, jhalak sa sapna banane laga.
“Bhabhi ji, kya nakhre dikha rahi hai, saali?” Panna ki awaaz bhari thi, lekin ek gandi, dabav wali tharak se bhari. “Teri chut bhi to jal rahi hai, mujhe pata hai tu yeh lund chahati hai!” Main imagine karne laga: Panna Ammi ke paas khada, unka shalwar kameez ka dupatta zameen par gira hua, uski moti kalaai unki nazuk si kameez ke kinaare se khelti hui.
“Nahi, Panna!” Ammi ki awaaz aayi, sakht, par ek thodi si kampan ke saath. “Yeh besharmi chhodo! Main acchi aurat hoon, mujhe chhodo, yeh galat hai!” Meri aankhon ke saamne tasveer ubhri: Ammi, 50 saal ki umar, shalwar kameez mein, unka chehra sharam se laal, lekin aankhein Panna ke mazboot jism par tikti hui, jaise rokna chahti hon par dil kahin doob raha ho.
Panna ne ek gandi, vijayi hasi chhodi. “Saali, nakhre band kar! Tujhe chod ke rahunga, aur tu bhi is lund ke liye tadap rahi hai, bol na!” Main sochne laga: Panna ab Ammi ke aur paas, unki kalaai pakadta hua, uska bada, dheela lund pant ke andar ubharta hua, aur Ammi ka dupatta dheere se khisakta hua.
Phir Panna ki awaaz mein aur sakhti aayi, jaise woh poora control le raha ho. “Saali randi,” usne kaha, awaaz mein ek ganda maza. “Teri yeh shalwar ke andar kya chhupa hai, dikha to zara! Tadap rahi hai na, meri baaton se?” Meri tasveer mein: Panna Ammi ko diwaar ke sahare le gaya, unki kameez ka kinaara uthata hua, aur Ammi ki saansein tez, unka chehra sharam aur tharak ke beech jhoolta hua.
“Panna, bas... yeh galat hai,” Ammi ne dheeme se kaha, par unki awaaz mein woh pehli wali taaqat nahi thi. “Koi dekh lega...” Main imagine kar raha tha: Ammi ka haath Panna ke seene par, rokte hue, par unki ungliyan uski shirt par dheere-dheere fisalti hui, jaise woh uske jism ke garam ahsaas mein khud ko kho rahi hon.
Panna ne ek tharki hasi ke saath kaha, “Dekhne wala koi nahi, saali. Abhi to tujhe tadpaunga, yeh lund itni jaldi nahi milega. Bol, kitna chahiye tujhe?” Meri aankhon ke saamne: Panna Ammi ke kaan ke paas, dheere se bolta hua, unki shalwar ke nada ko chhedta hua, aur Ammi ki aankhein jhuki, sharam se laal, par ek ajeeb si chingaari ke saath.
Main wahi khada raha, glass darwaze se chipka hua, dil mein ek lazzat ka toofan uth raha tha.
---
Tabhi Ammi ke kamre mein phone ki ghanti goonj uthi. Ammi ne phone uthaya aur Abbu se baat karne lagi. Unki awaaz se laga jaise unhone mujhse baat karne ke liye call kiya ho. Main glass hatakar wahan se utha aur apne kamre mein ghus gaya, jahan Noor chain ki neend so rahi thi. Kuch pal baad Ammi kamre mein aayi, unke haath mein phone tha. Unki nazrein jhuki hui thi, chehra aur gaal laal-laal, jaise sharam aur bechaini ke beech jhool rahe hon. Unki shalwar kameez ka dupatta thoda uljha-sa, ek kona kandhe se sarkar zameen ki taraf latak raha tha. Maine chupke se phone le liya.
“Haan, Abbu,” maine kaha, “main dukaan se laut raha hoon. Woh band thi aaj.”\
“Achha, Abbu, to main kal office se thoda break leke aa jaunga,” maine jawab diya.\
“Achha, beta, main isliye phone kiya tha,” Abbu bole, “subah bataya tha na, Dilli wali khala...”\
“Aisha Khala?” maine poochha.\
“Haan, unka kayi dafa call aaya hai. Humein unke yahan jana padega. Unki beti ki nikaah hai.”\
“Lekin, Abbu, hum itni jaldi kaise jayenge? Mere office mein chhutti kaise milegi?”\
“Koshish karo, beta,” Abbu ne dheere se kaha.\
“Dekhta hoon, Abbu,” maine kaha aur phone kaat diya.
Ammi wahi khadi thi, hum dono ki baatein gaur se sun rahi thi. Unke chehre par shikan thi, jaise kuch kehna chahti hon, par shabdon ka bojh unhe rok raha ho. Unhone dheere se kaha, “Imran beta, hum chale jate hain. Agar tujhe chhutti na mile to...” Main samajh gaya—Ammi Panna se bachne ki aakhri koshish kar rahi thi. Unki awaaz mein ek chhupa sa darr tha, par unke laal gaalon mein kuch aur bhi chhupa tha, shayad wohi lazzat jo main apne dil mein mehsoos kar raha tha. Maine muskura ke jawab diya, “Ammi, main boss se baat karta hoon. Shaam ko phir baat karenge.”
Meri baat sun Ammi wapas apne kamre ki taraf chali gayi, unka dupatta zameen par ghasitata hua. Mujhe laga Panna wahi hoga, lekin shayad Ammi ne use pehle hi bhaga diya tha. Thodi si mayoosi chhayi—Panna ne aaj ka khel to poora kar hi diya tha. Par man hi man main muskura raha tha.
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