28-04-2026, 08:20 PM
Chapter – 18
Subah uthte hi mera sar thoda bhari sa tha. Kal raat ka ganja abhi bhi dimag mein halka-halka nasha chhoda hua tha. Aankhein kholte hi sabse pehle woh gehri neend ki yaad aayi — jaise koi bhaari bojh dil se utar gaya ho. 6-7 ghante tak ek tang bhi nahi hili thi. Pehle kabhi itni sukoon bhari neend nahi aayi thi.
Lekin jaise hi main utha aur hall ki taraf gaya, dil mein ek ajeeb sa mixture hone laga — excited bhi aur guilty bhi. Excited isliye ki pehli baar zindagi mein dimag itna shaant tha. Guilty isliye ki ghar walon ne kal raat itna pareshan hokar mujhe dhoondha tha.
Ammi kitchen mein thi. Unhone mujhe dekha toh unki aankhein phir se nam ho gayi. Woh raat bhar roye hue thi — chehra udaas, aankhon ke neeche kaala ghera. Unhone dheere se poocha,
“Beta… uth gaya? Kal raat kya hua tha Idris? Hum dono paagal ho gaye the. Abbu toh gusse se laal ho rahe the… tu itni raat tak kahan tha? Phone bhi band… hum soch rahe the kuch ho gaya.”
Main ne sirf sar hila diya. “Ammi… bas park mein baith gaya tha. Dimag bahut heavy ho raha tha boards ki wajah se. Sorry.”
Ammi ne mujhe upar se neeche tak dekha. Unki nazar mein sirf fikar thi, koi gussa nahi. Woh meri taraf aayi aur mera maatha chhoone lagi jaise bachpan mein karti thi.
“Beta… tu theek toh hai na? Aankhein laal kyun hain? Neend mein bhi pareshan lag raha hai.”
Main ne jaldi se nazar jhuka li. “Kuch nahi Ammi… bas thak gaya hoon. Aaj se padhai pe zor lagaoonga.”
Lekin andar se ek alag hi feeling thi. Unki yeh fikar bhari aankhein dekh kar bhi mujhe koi dar nahi lag raha tha. Ulta… ek twisted si khushi ho rahi thi. Jaise main kuch bada kar raha hoon jo woh kabhi samajh nahi paayengi. Main ne chaai li aur apne room mein chala gaya.
Books kholi. Padhne baitha. Lekin 10 minute baad hi dimag phir se udne laga. Wahi purani problem. Concentration zero. Har baar padhte hue Akash ka chehra, Ammi ka woh kiss wala scene, Abbu ka gussa… sab ek saath aa jaata tha. Main ne kitab band ki aur bistar par let gaya.
Tabhi mera phone baja.
Screen pe naam tha — Chand.
Maine call uthaya. Uski hansi bhari, dostana awaaz aayi,
“Arre yaar Idris! Utha hai kya? Kal raat ka nasha utra ki abhi bhi ud raha hai?”
Main dheere se hans pada. “Thoda sa bhari hai sar… lekin neend bahut achhi aayi thi yaar. Pehle baar itni gehri neend aayi.”
Chand zor se hansa. “Bola tha na? Thoda sa relax karne se hi farak padta hai. Ab bata… aaj kya plan hai? Ghar pe baith ke padhai kar raha hai ya bahar nikalna hai?”
Main ne socha. Abbu ne kal raat mana kiya tha bahar jaane se, lekin andar se mann kar raha tha. “Yaar… Abbu ne daanta tha kal. Bola tha ghar se bahar mat nikalna.”
Chand ne casual tone mein bola, “Arre tension mat le dost. Main tere ghar ke paas hi hoon park mein. Bas 10 minute fresh air le aaja. Koi nahi dekh raha. Aur waise bhi boards ke liye dimag fresh rakhna zaroori hai na? Tu mera dost hai… main tujhe bigadne nahi de sakta.”
Uske “dost” shabd ne kuch alag sa feel diya. Jaise koi bada bhai bol raha ho jo sach mein fikar karta hai. Main ne socha… bas 20-30 minute hi toh hain. Koi nahi jaanega.
“Thik hai… aa raha hoon.”
Main ne Ammi ko bol diya, “Ammi main park jaa raha hoon… thoda fresh air le aata hoon. 30 minute mein wapas.”
Ammi ne pareshan nazar se dekha par kuch nahi bola. Sirf ek gehri saans li. Main jaldi se nikal gaya.
Park pahunchte hi Chand bench par baitha cigarette pi raha tha. Mujhe dekh kar muskuraya aur haath milaaya jaise purane dost ho.
“Arre aa gaya mera hero! Baith na.”
Hum dono baith gaye. Thandi hawa chal rahi thi. Chand ne cigarette ka packet nikala aur mujhe offer kiya, “Le… ek sutta pi le yaar. Bahut light hai. Tension khatam ho jayegi.”
Maine pehle mana kiya, “Nahi yaar… kal hi bahar tha. Aur ghar walon ne daanta tha.”
Chand ne shoulder pe haath rakh kar bola, “Yaar Idris, life mein thoda risk toh lena padta hai. Tu itna padh raha hai, itna stress le raha hai… ek cigarette tujhe mard nahi bana dega. Dost hoon main tera… trust kar. Bas ek baar try kar.”
Uske dost wale tone ne phir se kaam kiya. Maine le liya. Dheere se sulgaaya. Pehla kas liya. Dhuaan andar gaya toh thoda sa khansi aayi lekin uske baad dimag dheere-dheere shaant hone laga.
Chand ne bola, “Dekh na… ab bol… kaisa feel ho raha hai?”
“Bahut achha… jaise sab kuch door ho gaya ho.”
Hum dono thodi der chup baith gaye. Hawa mein patte sarasarah rahe the. Park mein thodi si bheed thi — bachche khel rahe the, kuch aunties walk kar rahi thi. Lekin mujhe sab kuch door-door sa lag raha tha.
Andar se ek awaaz baar-baar aa rahi thi — “Yeh mera dost hai… woh sirf madad kar raha hai… lekin yeh galat bhi toh hai Idris. Agar Abbu ko pata chal gaya toh? Ammi phir se ro degi.”
Lekin dusri awaaz usse bhi tez thi — “Bas kar… tu hamesha dar-dar ke jeeta hai. Chand dost hai. Woh tujhe samajhta hai. Abbu aur Ammi sirf daantte hain. Yeh tension khatam karne ka tarika hai.”
Main ne apne aap se ladai ki. Dimag mein purani yaadein aa rahi thi — Abbu ka kal raat ka gussa, Ammi ki aansu bhari aankhein, mera 12/80 wala marksheet. Sab kuch ek saath.
Chand ne dheere se bola, “Yaar… tu bahut sochta hai. Zindagi mein thoda maza bhi karna chahiye. Boards ke chakkar mein sab mat bhool ja.”
Main ne sirf sar hila diya. Cigarette ab khatam ho chuki thi. Nasha dheere-dheere chadh raha tha. Sharir halka ho raha tha. Dimag bilkul clear.
Hum dono thodi der aur baatein karte rahe. Chand ne apni zindagi ki kuch masti bhari kahaniyan sunayi — kaise woh college ke time ladkiyon ke saath masti karta tha, kaise usne life ko enjoy kiya. Main sunta raha. Pehli baar kisi se itni khul ke baat kar raha tha.
Lagbhag 40 minute baad Chand utha. Mujhe shoulder pe haath rakh kar bola,
“Kal phir milte hain dost… aur kuch mazedaar plan hai. Ab ghar jaa, Ammi ko pareshan mat kar. Aur haan… tension mat le. Main hoon na tere saath.”
Main muskuraya. Ghar lautte waqt raaste bhar sirf ek hi baat soch raha tha — “Yeh mera dost hai… woh sirf madad kar raha hai… lekin yeh galat bhi toh hai.”
Lekin andar se ek naya sukoon tha. Jaise zindagi mein pehli baar koi mera side le raha ho.
Subah uthte hi mera sar thoda bhari sa tha. Kal raat ka ganja abhi bhi dimag mein halka-halka nasha chhoda hua tha. Aankhein kholte hi sabse pehle woh gehri neend ki yaad aayi — jaise koi bhaari bojh dil se utar gaya ho. 6-7 ghante tak ek tang bhi nahi hili thi. Pehle kabhi itni sukoon bhari neend nahi aayi thi.
Lekin jaise hi main utha aur hall ki taraf gaya, dil mein ek ajeeb sa mixture hone laga — excited bhi aur guilty bhi. Excited isliye ki pehli baar zindagi mein dimag itna shaant tha. Guilty isliye ki ghar walon ne kal raat itna pareshan hokar mujhe dhoondha tha.
Ammi kitchen mein thi. Unhone mujhe dekha toh unki aankhein phir se nam ho gayi. Woh raat bhar roye hue thi — chehra udaas, aankhon ke neeche kaala ghera. Unhone dheere se poocha,
“Beta… uth gaya? Kal raat kya hua tha Idris? Hum dono paagal ho gaye the. Abbu toh gusse se laal ho rahe the… tu itni raat tak kahan tha? Phone bhi band… hum soch rahe the kuch ho gaya.”
Main ne sirf sar hila diya. “Ammi… bas park mein baith gaya tha. Dimag bahut heavy ho raha tha boards ki wajah se. Sorry.”
Ammi ne mujhe upar se neeche tak dekha. Unki nazar mein sirf fikar thi, koi gussa nahi. Woh meri taraf aayi aur mera maatha chhoone lagi jaise bachpan mein karti thi.
“Beta… tu theek toh hai na? Aankhein laal kyun hain? Neend mein bhi pareshan lag raha hai.”
Main ne jaldi se nazar jhuka li. “Kuch nahi Ammi… bas thak gaya hoon. Aaj se padhai pe zor lagaoonga.”
Lekin andar se ek alag hi feeling thi. Unki yeh fikar bhari aankhein dekh kar bhi mujhe koi dar nahi lag raha tha. Ulta… ek twisted si khushi ho rahi thi. Jaise main kuch bada kar raha hoon jo woh kabhi samajh nahi paayengi. Main ne chaai li aur apne room mein chala gaya.
Books kholi. Padhne baitha. Lekin 10 minute baad hi dimag phir se udne laga. Wahi purani problem. Concentration zero. Har baar padhte hue Akash ka chehra, Ammi ka woh kiss wala scene, Abbu ka gussa… sab ek saath aa jaata tha. Main ne kitab band ki aur bistar par let gaya.
Tabhi mera phone baja.
Screen pe naam tha — Chand.
Maine call uthaya. Uski hansi bhari, dostana awaaz aayi,
“Arre yaar Idris! Utha hai kya? Kal raat ka nasha utra ki abhi bhi ud raha hai?”
Main dheere se hans pada. “Thoda sa bhari hai sar… lekin neend bahut achhi aayi thi yaar. Pehle baar itni gehri neend aayi.”
Chand zor se hansa. “Bola tha na? Thoda sa relax karne se hi farak padta hai. Ab bata… aaj kya plan hai? Ghar pe baith ke padhai kar raha hai ya bahar nikalna hai?”
Main ne socha. Abbu ne kal raat mana kiya tha bahar jaane se, lekin andar se mann kar raha tha. “Yaar… Abbu ne daanta tha kal. Bola tha ghar se bahar mat nikalna.”
Chand ne casual tone mein bola, “Arre tension mat le dost. Main tere ghar ke paas hi hoon park mein. Bas 10 minute fresh air le aaja. Koi nahi dekh raha. Aur waise bhi boards ke liye dimag fresh rakhna zaroori hai na? Tu mera dost hai… main tujhe bigadne nahi de sakta.”
Uske “dost” shabd ne kuch alag sa feel diya. Jaise koi bada bhai bol raha ho jo sach mein fikar karta hai. Main ne socha… bas 20-30 minute hi toh hain. Koi nahi jaanega.
“Thik hai… aa raha hoon.”
Main ne Ammi ko bol diya, “Ammi main park jaa raha hoon… thoda fresh air le aata hoon. 30 minute mein wapas.”
Ammi ne pareshan nazar se dekha par kuch nahi bola. Sirf ek gehri saans li. Main jaldi se nikal gaya.
Park pahunchte hi Chand bench par baitha cigarette pi raha tha. Mujhe dekh kar muskuraya aur haath milaaya jaise purane dost ho.
“Arre aa gaya mera hero! Baith na.”
Hum dono baith gaye. Thandi hawa chal rahi thi. Chand ne cigarette ka packet nikala aur mujhe offer kiya, “Le… ek sutta pi le yaar. Bahut light hai. Tension khatam ho jayegi.”
Maine pehle mana kiya, “Nahi yaar… kal hi bahar tha. Aur ghar walon ne daanta tha.”
Chand ne shoulder pe haath rakh kar bola, “Yaar Idris, life mein thoda risk toh lena padta hai. Tu itna padh raha hai, itna stress le raha hai… ek cigarette tujhe mard nahi bana dega. Dost hoon main tera… trust kar. Bas ek baar try kar.”
Uske dost wale tone ne phir se kaam kiya. Maine le liya. Dheere se sulgaaya. Pehla kas liya. Dhuaan andar gaya toh thoda sa khansi aayi lekin uske baad dimag dheere-dheere shaant hone laga.
Chand ne bola, “Dekh na… ab bol… kaisa feel ho raha hai?”
“Bahut achha… jaise sab kuch door ho gaya ho.”
Hum dono thodi der chup baith gaye. Hawa mein patte sarasarah rahe the. Park mein thodi si bheed thi — bachche khel rahe the, kuch aunties walk kar rahi thi. Lekin mujhe sab kuch door-door sa lag raha tha.
Andar se ek awaaz baar-baar aa rahi thi — “Yeh mera dost hai… woh sirf madad kar raha hai… lekin yeh galat bhi toh hai Idris. Agar Abbu ko pata chal gaya toh? Ammi phir se ro degi.”
Lekin dusri awaaz usse bhi tez thi — “Bas kar… tu hamesha dar-dar ke jeeta hai. Chand dost hai. Woh tujhe samajhta hai. Abbu aur Ammi sirf daantte hain. Yeh tension khatam karne ka tarika hai.”
Main ne apne aap se ladai ki. Dimag mein purani yaadein aa rahi thi — Abbu ka kal raat ka gussa, Ammi ki aansu bhari aankhein, mera 12/80 wala marksheet. Sab kuch ek saath.
Chand ne dheere se bola, “Yaar… tu bahut sochta hai. Zindagi mein thoda maza bhi karna chahiye. Boards ke chakkar mein sab mat bhool ja.”
Main ne sirf sar hila diya. Cigarette ab khatam ho chuki thi. Nasha dheere-dheere chadh raha tha. Sharir halka ho raha tha. Dimag bilkul clear.
Hum dono thodi der aur baatein karte rahe. Chand ne apni zindagi ki kuch masti bhari kahaniyan sunayi — kaise woh college ke time ladkiyon ke saath masti karta tha, kaise usne life ko enjoy kiya. Main sunta raha. Pehli baar kisi se itni khul ke baat kar raha tha.
Lagbhag 40 minute baad Chand utha. Mujhe shoulder pe haath rakh kar bola,
“Kal phir milte hain dost… aur kuch mazedaar plan hai. Ab ghar jaa, Ammi ko pareshan mat kar. Aur haan… tension mat le. Main hoon na tere saath.”
Main muskuraya. Ghar lautte waqt raaste bhar sirf ek hi baat soch raha tha — “Yeh mera dost hai… woh sirf madad kar raha hai… lekin yeh galat bhi toh hai.”
Lekin andar se ek naya sukoon tha. Jaise zindagi mein pehli baar koi mera side le raha ho.
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