26-04-2026, 02:27 PM
Note: cuckson story; please don't continue if you are not interested in cuck fantasy
Chapter 1
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Mere haath mein jo paper tha, woh bas ek kagaz nahi tha.
Woh meri aukaat ka saboot tha.
12th class ka mid-sem test. 80 mein se 12 marks.
Itna kam ki number dekh kar pehle gussa aata hai, phir sharam, aur phir ek aisi khaamoshi jo seedha seene ke andar baith jaati hai. Main class ke corner mein khada tha, paper ko aise pakde hue jaise usse chhod diya toh meri saari kamzori zameen par gir padegi.
Ink ka woh laal rang, teacher ki rough handwriting, aur upar likha mera naam — Idris Syed — sab kuch ek hi pal mein ajeeb sa lag raha tha. Jaise kisi aur ki zindagi ka hisaab mere haath mein aa gaya ho.
Meri class mein log marks dekhte hi apni fits aur smiles chhupa rahe the. Kuch bachche hans bhi diye. Kaafi dheere, bas itna ki teacher sun na le. Lekin main sun gaya.
Main hamesha sun leta hoon.
Sports mein bhi main bekaar. Running mein last, cricket mein jab meri baari aati toh log dhyaan kisi aur taraf kar lete, aur kabaddi mein toh mujhe khud samajh nahi aata tha ki main kis ke saath khada hoon aur kis ke khilaaf. Padhai mein bhi wahi haal. Na tez dimag, na yaad rakhne ki taqat, na woh confidence jo dusron ki aankhon mein hota hai.
Aur sabse buri baat? Class mein mera koi aisa dost bhi nahi tha jiske saath main bina soche baat kar sakun.
Log hote hain, par saath nahi hote.
Main un sab ke beech bhi akela tha.
Teacher ne paper wapas diya aur mujhe dekhkar bas itna bola, “Idris, tumhein seriously lagna chahiye. Abhi bhi time hai.”
Time.
Mujhe us waqt us lafz se nafrat hui. Jaise sab ke paas time tha, sirf mere paas nahi.
college ki chhutti hui toh main seedha ghar nahi gaya. Main thoda der tak campus ke piche wale khali ground ke paas baitha raha. Wahan mitti sookhi thi, hawa mein dhool thi, aur saamne se ek football udta hua gaya, jaise woh bhi mujhse zyada kaam ka ho.
Main paper ko ghurta raha.
12 marks.
Meri ungliyan uske kinare ko itna daba rahi thi ki kagaz murjha sa gaya. Mujhe lag raha tha agar main ghar gaya, toh yeh paper sirf ek paper nahi rahega. Woh ek dhamaka ban jayega. Ek aisa dhamaka jisme mere saare din, meri saari galtiyan, meri saari nakamiyaan sab ek saath phat jayengi.
Abbu ko dekhte hi mujhe pehle se hi saans tight ho jaati thi. Ghar mein unka tana marna normal tha. Jaise unka gussa bhi routine ka hissa ho. Kabhi meri maa ki taraf, kabhi meri taraf, kabhi bas hawa mein. Lekin nishana aksar mujhe hi milta tha.
“Tumse kuch nahi hoga.”
“Uske marks dekho.”
“Dusron ke bachche kahan pahunch gaye aur yeh abhi tak wahin ka wahin hai.”
Ammi... ammi kabhi kabhi beech mein aa jaati thi. Woh bachane ki koshish karti thi, samjhaane ki koshish karti thi, par bechari kar bhi kya sakti thi? Unki awaaz mein woh narmi thi jo gusse ke saamne kamzor pad jaati hai. Woh mujhe dekh kar bas aankhon se bol deti thi: chup rehna, sab theek ho jayega.
Lekin kuch cheezein chup rehne se theek nahi hoti.
Main ghar ki taraf chal pada. Har kadam ke saath paper meri jeb mein aur bhaari hota gaya. Gali ke mod par pahunch kar mujhe hamare ghar ki chhoti si deewar dikhi. Wahi deewar jahan baarish ke daag the, aur wahi khidki jahan ammi aksar khadi hoti thi, jaise kisi aane wale tufaan ka intezaar kar rahi ho.
Main gate ke paas ruk gaya.
Andar se abbu ki awaaz aa rahi thi.
Nahi, cheekh nahi. Cheekh se bhi zyada khatarnaak ek thandi awaaz.
“Woh aaya?”
Ammi ki halki si awaaz: “Abhi aane wala hoga...”
Mere haath ka paper aur bheeg gaya. Pasina ya darr, mujhe samajh nahi aaya.
Maine ek gehri saans li.
Us ek saans mein saari class, saare marks, saare hansne wale chehre, aur ghar ke andar ka woh pura mahoul jama tha. Jaise meri zindagi kisi aur ke likhe hue page par chal rahi ho, aur main bas usse palatne ki koshish kar raha hoon.
Maine gate khola.
Aur us pal mujhe laga, aaj ghar ke andar jo hoga, woh sirf marks ka masla nahi hoga.
Woh meri zindagi ka pehla sach hone wala tha.
Darwaza khulte hi hall ki khamoshi kisi bojh ki tarah mere kandhon par gir padi.
Abbu sofa par baithe the. Unke haath mein TV ka remote tha, par TV band tha.
Ammi kitchen ke darwaze par khadi thi, dupatte ka kona apni ungliyon mein lapette hue. Unki aankhon mein wahi darr tha jo mere dil mein dhadak raha tha.
"Aa gaye nawabzaade?" Abbu ki awaaz mein ek ajeeb sa thandapan tha.
Maine sar jhuka liya aur dhire se 'haan' mein gardan hilayi.
"Paper mila aaj?"
Mera gala sukh gaya tha. Maine jeb mein haath daala. Kagaz ka woh tukda pasine se sil chuka tha. Kaapte haathon se maine woh paper aage kar diya.
Abbu ne remote side mein rakha aur paper liya. Kamre mein itni shanti thi ki main unki saans lene ki awaaz sun sakta tha. Unhone paper ko seedha kiya. Unki nigaah '12/80' par aakar ruk gayi.
Ek second. Do second. Teen.
Mujhe laga jaise waqt ruk gaya hai.
Phusphusate hue awaaz aayi, "Barah number..."
Phir achanak unhone woh paper zameen par phenk diya. "Barah number! Yeh hai tumhari aukaat? Maine apni poori zindagi ghis di tumhari padhai ke liye, aur tum wapas lakar dete ho yeh kachra!"
Unki awaaz ab dheemi nahi thi. Kamre ki deewarein kaampne lagi thi.
"Arey koi dekhe iski shakal! Din bhar nikammon ki tarah ghumega, na khel mein aage, na padhai mein, bas mere khoon pasine ki kamai aag mein daal raha hai!"
Ammi aage aayi, "Aji chhod dijiye, bachcha hi toh hai... agli baar mehnat karega..."
"Chup raho tum!" Abbu dahade. "Tumhare is dulaar ne hi isko barbaad kiya hai! Koi aur hota toh doob ke marr jata is marks par!"
Mujhe pata nahi us waqt mujhme kya aaya. Shayad woh daba hua gussa tha, ya sharam ki aakhri hadd. Maine apni jhuki hui gardan uthayi aur unki aankhon mein dekh liya.
Yeh meri sabse badi galti thi.
"Aankh dikhata hai mujhe?!"
Unka gussa ek jhatke mein qabu se bahar ho gaya. Woh apni jagah se uthe aur isse pehle ki main wahan se hat pata, ek zordaar aawaaz poore hall mein gunj uthi.
Chataak!
Mere gaal par ek tez jalan hui. Mera sarr jhanna gaya aur main ladkhada kar do kadam piche hat gaya. Kaan mein ek ajeeb si seeti bajne lagi thi.
Ammi ke cheekhne ki awaaz aayi, par woh doobti hui lag rahi thi.
Us ek thappad ne sirf mere gaal par nishaan nahi chhoda tha. Usne mere andar bachi hui aakhri umeed ko bhi tod diya tha.
Chapter 1
--------------
Mere haath mein jo paper tha, woh bas ek kagaz nahi tha.
Woh meri aukaat ka saboot tha.
12th class ka mid-sem test. 80 mein se 12 marks.
Itna kam ki number dekh kar pehle gussa aata hai, phir sharam, aur phir ek aisi khaamoshi jo seedha seene ke andar baith jaati hai. Main class ke corner mein khada tha, paper ko aise pakde hue jaise usse chhod diya toh meri saari kamzori zameen par gir padegi.
Ink ka woh laal rang, teacher ki rough handwriting, aur upar likha mera naam — Idris Syed — sab kuch ek hi pal mein ajeeb sa lag raha tha. Jaise kisi aur ki zindagi ka hisaab mere haath mein aa gaya ho.
Meri class mein log marks dekhte hi apni fits aur smiles chhupa rahe the. Kuch bachche hans bhi diye. Kaafi dheere, bas itna ki teacher sun na le. Lekin main sun gaya.
Main hamesha sun leta hoon.
Sports mein bhi main bekaar. Running mein last, cricket mein jab meri baari aati toh log dhyaan kisi aur taraf kar lete, aur kabaddi mein toh mujhe khud samajh nahi aata tha ki main kis ke saath khada hoon aur kis ke khilaaf. Padhai mein bhi wahi haal. Na tez dimag, na yaad rakhne ki taqat, na woh confidence jo dusron ki aankhon mein hota hai.
Aur sabse buri baat? Class mein mera koi aisa dost bhi nahi tha jiske saath main bina soche baat kar sakun.
Log hote hain, par saath nahi hote.
Main un sab ke beech bhi akela tha.
Teacher ne paper wapas diya aur mujhe dekhkar bas itna bola, “Idris, tumhein seriously lagna chahiye. Abhi bhi time hai.”
Time.
Mujhe us waqt us lafz se nafrat hui. Jaise sab ke paas time tha, sirf mere paas nahi.
college ki chhutti hui toh main seedha ghar nahi gaya. Main thoda der tak campus ke piche wale khali ground ke paas baitha raha. Wahan mitti sookhi thi, hawa mein dhool thi, aur saamne se ek football udta hua gaya, jaise woh bhi mujhse zyada kaam ka ho.
Main paper ko ghurta raha.
12 marks.
Meri ungliyan uske kinare ko itna daba rahi thi ki kagaz murjha sa gaya. Mujhe lag raha tha agar main ghar gaya, toh yeh paper sirf ek paper nahi rahega. Woh ek dhamaka ban jayega. Ek aisa dhamaka jisme mere saare din, meri saari galtiyan, meri saari nakamiyaan sab ek saath phat jayengi.
Abbu ko dekhte hi mujhe pehle se hi saans tight ho jaati thi. Ghar mein unka tana marna normal tha. Jaise unka gussa bhi routine ka hissa ho. Kabhi meri maa ki taraf, kabhi meri taraf, kabhi bas hawa mein. Lekin nishana aksar mujhe hi milta tha.
“Tumse kuch nahi hoga.”
“Uske marks dekho.”
“Dusron ke bachche kahan pahunch gaye aur yeh abhi tak wahin ka wahin hai.”
Ammi... ammi kabhi kabhi beech mein aa jaati thi. Woh bachane ki koshish karti thi, samjhaane ki koshish karti thi, par bechari kar bhi kya sakti thi? Unki awaaz mein woh narmi thi jo gusse ke saamne kamzor pad jaati hai. Woh mujhe dekh kar bas aankhon se bol deti thi: chup rehna, sab theek ho jayega.
Lekin kuch cheezein chup rehne se theek nahi hoti.
Main ghar ki taraf chal pada. Har kadam ke saath paper meri jeb mein aur bhaari hota gaya. Gali ke mod par pahunch kar mujhe hamare ghar ki chhoti si deewar dikhi. Wahi deewar jahan baarish ke daag the, aur wahi khidki jahan ammi aksar khadi hoti thi, jaise kisi aane wale tufaan ka intezaar kar rahi ho.
Main gate ke paas ruk gaya.
Andar se abbu ki awaaz aa rahi thi.
Nahi, cheekh nahi. Cheekh se bhi zyada khatarnaak ek thandi awaaz.
“Woh aaya?”
Ammi ki halki si awaaz: “Abhi aane wala hoga...”
Mere haath ka paper aur bheeg gaya. Pasina ya darr, mujhe samajh nahi aaya.
Maine ek gehri saans li.
Us ek saans mein saari class, saare marks, saare hansne wale chehre, aur ghar ke andar ka woh pura mahoul jama tha. Jaise meri zindagi kisi aur ke likhe hue page par chal rahi ho, aur main bas usse palatne ki koshish kar raha hoon.
Maine gate khola.
Aur us pal mujhe laga, aaj ghar ke andar jo hoga, woh sirf marks ka masla nahi hoga.
Woh meri zindagi ka pehla sach hone wala tha.
Darwaza khulte hi hall ki khamoshi kisi bojh ki tarah mere kandhon par gir padi.
Abbu sofa par baithe the. Unke haath mein TV ka remote tha, par TV band tha.
Ammi kitchen ke darwaze par khadi thi, dupatte ka kona apni ungliyon mein lapette hue. Unki aankhon mein wahi darr tha jo mere dil mein dhadak raha tha.
"Aa gaye nawabzaade?" Abbu ki awaaz mein ek ajeeb sa thandapan tha.
Maine sar jhuka liya aur dhire se 'haan' mein gardan hilayi.
"Paper mila aaj?"
Mera gala sukh gaya tha. Maine jeb mein haath daala. Kagaz ka woh tukda pasine se sil chuka tha. Kaapte haathon se maine woh paper aage kar diya.
Abbu ne remote side mein rakha aur paper liya. Kamre mein itni shanti thi ki main unki saans lene ki awaaz sun sakta tha. Unhone paper ko seedha kiya. Unki nigaah '12/80' par aakar ruk gayi.
Ek second. Do second. Teen.
Mujhe laga jaise waqt ruk gaya hai.
Phusphusate hue awaaz aayi, "Barah number..."
Phir achanak unhone woh paper zameen par phenk diya. "Barah number! Yeh hai tumhari aukaat? Maine apni poori zindagi ghis di tumhari padhai ke liye, aur tum wapas lakar dete ho yeh kachra!"
Unki awaaz ab dheemi nahi thi. Kamre ki deewarein kaampne lagi thi.
"Arey koi dekhe iski shakal! Din bhar nikammon ki tarah ghumega, na khel mein aage, na padhai mein, bas mere khoon pasine ki kamai aag mein daal raha hai!"
Ammi aage aayi, "Aji chhod dijiye, bachcha hi toh hai... agli baar mehnat karega..."
"Chup raho tum!" Abbu dahade. "Tumhare is dulaar ne hi isko barbaad kiya hai! Koi aur hota toh doob ke marr jata is marks par!"
Mujhe pata nahi us waqt mujhme kya aaya. Shayad woh daba hua gussa tha, ya sharam ki aakhri hadd. Maine apni jhuki hui gardan uthayi aur unki aankhon mein dekh liya.
Yeh meri sabse badi galti thi.
"Aankh dikhata hai mujhe?!"
Unka gussa ek jhatke mein qabu se bahar ho gaya. Woh apni jagah se uthe aur isse pehle ki main wahan se hat pata, ek zordaar aawaaz poore hall mein gunj uthi.
Chataak!
Mere gaal par ek tez jalan hui. Mera sarr jhanna gaya aur main ladkhada kar do kadam piche hat gaya. Kaan mein ek ajeeb si seeti bajne lagi thi.
Ammi ke cheekhne ki awaaz aayi, par woh doobti hui lag rahi thi.
Us ek thappad ne sirf mere gaal par nishaan nahi chhoda tha. Usne mere andar bachi hui aakhri umeed ko bhi tod diya tha.
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