13-02-2026, 01:27 AM
(This post was last modified: 13-02-2026, 09:29 PM by Celebrorn. Edited 7 times in total. Edited 7 times in total.)
Chapter 6
Maine apne reflection ko mirror mein dekhte hue ek gehri saans andar li. Lengha ka heavy ghaghra mere kamar par bilkul perfectly fit tha, aur choli itni tight thi ki saans lena mushkil ho raha tha. Itna magical sa lag raha yeh lavendar colour ka lengha mujh par, jaisi kisi movie ke set se laaya gaya ho. Par asli magic toh neeche pehni gayi push-up bra ka tha, jisne mujhe ek aisi figure di thi jo maine kabhi socha bhi nahi thi. Mere chest par proper curves they ab. Breasts... fuller, bigger. Almost real.
Makeup artist kuch der pehle hi ja chuke they, sab kaam khatam karke. Makeup bahut heavy nahi tha, bas itna ki main aaj ke function ki main attraction dikhu. Mom ne makeup artists ke aane ke pehle hi mujhe wig pehna diya tha, taaki main unke saamne awkward na feel karu. Yeh naya wig thoda aur stylish tha, aur isme mere baal curvy aur elegant lag rahe they. Kaano mein clip on earrings, haathon mein bhaari kangan, aur gale mein ek diamond ka necklace, kisi actress se kam nahi lag rahi thi main.
![[Image: 50f6f508a3e69fed019403679bce10a2.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/3RVjXckv/50f6f508a3e69fed019403679bce10a2.jpg)
Par is perfection ki bhi ek keemat thi. Pichhle kuch hafton se meri chest kuch jyada hi sensitive ho gayi thi. Main jab bhi saans leti, bra ki sakht wire aur choli ka bhari embroidery wala kapda mere un sensitive tissues par dabta jisse ek teekhi chubhan mehsoos hoti. Yeh dard mujhe baar baar yaad dila raha tha ki maine sirf koi costume nahi pehni thi, mere andar ka badlaav sach tha.
Yeh badlaav hi toh tha jisne mujhe aaj yahan is banquet hall ke room mein khada kar diya tha. Pichhle 4-5 din ek dhundhle sapne ki tarah nikle they. Jab maine Mom ko darte darte haan kaha tha, tab woh meri choice nahi tha balki ek mazboori thi. Dad ki di hui deadline sar par talwar ban kar latak rahi thi. Ya toh main Raj "Uncle" se engagement ke liye haan karti ya fir apni bachi-kuchi pehchaan bhi kho baithti. Pata nahi uske baad Dad ka agla plan kya hota.
Isi ghutan ke beech Raj ka woh "arrangement" mujhe ek safety net ki tarah dikhai de raha tha. Us din ki meeting ke baad mujhe lagne laga tha ki, jo kuch bhi hone wala tha, uska poora control abhi bhi mere haathon mein tha. Main jab chahun is poore natak ko khatam kar sakti thi. Main jaanti thi ki main yeh shaadi kabhi nahi karungi, par filhaal is engagement ke liye haan karna meri zaroorat ban gaya tha.
"Yeh pehen lo," Mom ne mere saamne ek pair of embellished heels rakhte hue mera dhyan kheecha. Chamakdar golden, un ke straps par stones lage hue they, ek dam tacky, totally not my style.
Ek hafte ke andar yeh sab jo bhi shopping aur arrangement hui thi kisi chamatkar se kam thi kya. Mujhe toh pata bhi nahi tha ladkiyon ko ek chhote se function ke liye bhi itna kuch chahiye hota hai.
Maine unhe dekhte hue apna muh banaaya, "Yeh? Yeh pehenna padega kya?"
"Haan, aur kya. Lenghe ke saath yehi jayenge, koi sports shoes toh pehnogi nahi."
Maine reluctantly heels pehenne shuru kiye. Pehle hi ek minute mein mere pair dard karne lage. Heels jyada uchhi nahi thi par tight straps mere toes ko kaat rahe they aur stones mere skin par ragad rahe they.
"Mom... yeh bahut tight hain... aur uncomfortable bhi." Main bas rone hi wali thi.
Mom ne halke se smile ki, ek thaka hua, udaas sa smile, "Yeh toh bas shuruwat hai beta. Heels pehenne ka aadat daalni padegi tumhe. Aur waise bhi..." unhone meri aankhon mein dekhte hue kaha, "ab tumhe samajh aayega ek aurat hone ka asli matlab. Kitna dard sehna padta hai."
Unka yeh filmy dialogue sunkar maine muh banaya. Par mann mein thodi ghabrahat bhi hui, kya sach mein girls ko jyada dard sehna padta hai. Main toh bilkul...
Ding Ding Ding
Text messages ki aawaz ne ekdam se meri thoughts ko distract kiya. Ek ke baad ek lagatar text messages aaye jaa rahe they.
Maine annoy ho kar banquet hall ke is bridal room mein baithe us unwanted guest ki taraf dekha. Ishita Mehra, mere bhai ki girlfriend. Woh apne phone par tezi se type karti hui texts bhej rahi thi. Uske chehre par ek badi si muskaan thi aur beech beech mein uske muh se giggling ki sound nikal rahi thi, jaise koi interesting gossip kar rahi ho.
Use wahan mere saath is kamre mein dekh kar mera khoon phir se khaula. Meri engagement par woh yahan kyun baithi thi! Apni hi duniya mein lost use mujhse koi matlab toh tha na. Aur meri best friend Riya? Use is function mein aane ki permission tak nahi thi.
"Family only," Dad ne kaha tha jab maine Mom se request ki thi ki Riya ko bula lein. "Koi bahar wala nahi."
Par Ishita bhi toh bahar waali hi thi na? Woh toh hamari family ka part nahi thi... abhi tak toh nahi.
Sach toh yeh tha ki woh uninvited aayi thi. Vishal ne use bata diya tha engagement ke baare mein, use pata hona bhi nahi chahiye tha par obviously woh apni girlfriend se kuch chhupa nahi sakta tha. Aur phir Ishita khud aa gayi, "surprise" dete hue.
Dad bilkul khush nahi they. Unka chehra dekh kar pata chal gaya tha. Par phir unhone... koi tamasha na create karte hue... accept kar liya. Kyunki Ishita practically unke ghar ki "future bahu" thi na. Vishal ki hone wali biwi. Toh technically woh bhi family hi thi.
Mujhe itna gussa aaya tha jab Mom ne mujhe ye logic diya tha. Kaash maine bhi Riya ko bol diya hota ki tu bas aaja, jo hoga dekha jayega. Par nahi... mujhe toh hamesha Dad ki baat sunni hoti hai na.
Maine apne pair mein heels ko adjust karte hue apna gussa control karne ki koshish ki. Yeh mera din tha. Mera function. Meri... meri engagement. Par kuch bhi toh mera nahi lag raha tha.
"Smile!"
Flash ki tez roshni meri aankhon mein chubhi. Maine ghabra kar apni nazrein churayi, par tab tak Ishita ne meri photo kheench li thi.
"Ishita! Yeh kya kar rahi ho? Bina pooche photo kyun li?" Mera gussa ab mere control se bahar nikal raha tha.
"Relax! Tum itni pyaari lag rahi ho." Ishita ne excited hote hue screen mere saamne ki.
Main isse pehle sahi se photo ko sahi se dekh paati, usne apne phone par jaldi se ungliyaan chalate hue kuch kiya. Aisi aawaz aayi jaise usne abhi kisi ko meri photo send kari ho.
"Photo kisi ko send mat karna! Dad ne mana kiya hai." Meri aawaz mein panic saaf tha.
"Arre, relax Kanika! Maine bas Vishal ko bheji hai," Ishita ne kafi casual tone mein kaha, jaise isme koi badi baat na ho. "Woh kabse dhoond raha tha mujhe, aur kafi nervous bhi lag raha tha. Socha use dikha doon ki uski behen kitni stunning lag rahi hai. After all, usse kya chhupana?"
Vishal ko bhej di!!! Mere dimaag mein ek dhamaka sa hua. Mere liye ye koi normal photo nahi thi, yeh meri poori zindagi ka sabse vulnerable moment tha. Aur Ishita ne use ek cute photo ki tarah forward kar diya tha. Woh bhi ek aise insaan ko jo mere ladki hone se kabhi comfortable nahi hua tha.
"Tumhe... tumhe meri permission ke bina nahi bhejni chahiye thi," mere chehre par naraazgi saaf thi.
"Oh! Sorry, sorry! Maine socha tumhe achha lagega," Ishita pareshaan hote hue khadi hui aur mere paas aayi. Uska chehra ekdam se innocent aur curious tha. Uski nazrein mere upar neeche ghoom rahi thi, jaise woh kisi exhibition mein rakhe kisi art work ko inspect kar rahi ho.
Maine chalne ki koshish kari par heels mein balance banana namumkin sa lag raha tha. Mere pair kaapne lage aur main haar maan kar stool par dher ho gayi.
"Ouch!" Maine apne toes ko adjust karte hue groan kiya.
"Arre, aise nahi!" Ishita mere paas neeche jhuki aur mere pairon ko position karne lagi. "Tum apna poora weight apni heels par daal rahi ho, isliye dard ho raha hai. Sara weight aage rakho, apne toes par. Heel ko aage ki aur jhuka kar."
Usne mujhe sahara dete hue khada kiya aur maine aage ki aur jhuk kar chalne ki koshish ki, is baar main pehle se thoda jyada successful hui, par ajeeb sa lag raha tha.
Ishita ne mere shoulders pakadte hue peeche ki aur kiye, "Tumhe aage nahi jhukna hai, just your toes. Apne shoulders straight rakho, you don't want to be called the hunchback."
Maine fir se koshish kari, aisa lag raha tha jaise main pose karte hue chal rahi hoon.
"See? Ab better hai," Ishita ne thoda peeche hat kar mujhe aise dekha jaise koi painter apni painting ka final touch check kar raha ho, "Bas apne hips bhi thode se move karo, jyada nahi. I am sure it's all new to you, but you are doing great!"
Ab main Ishita ko kaise samjhati, shoulders straight karne se aisa lag raha tha jaise bra aur choli mere seene mein andar ghus rahi ho.
"Thanks," maine dheere se bolte hue use ek thaki hui smile di. Aur main phir se jakar stool par baith gayi.
Ishita abhi bhi meri taraf ghoor rahi thi. Uska chehre dekh kar saaf pata chal raha tha woh kuch poochna chahti thi. Woh ab apni curiosity ko aur control nahi kar sakti thi.
"Kanika... waise ek baat pucho..."
Maine dheere se haan mein sar hilaya. Na bhi karti toh woh poochne bina nahi rehti.
"Jab tum yeh sab... yeh wig, lengha, makeup pehenti ho, toh kya tumhe sach mein ladkiyon wali feeling aati hai? Ya phir aisa lagta hai tum pretend play kar rahi ho. Don't mind... I am just curious."
Mera dil ek pal ke liye ruk gaya. Uske sawal mein koi dushmani nahi thi, bas ek kora bachpana tha, par usne mere sabse bade darr par chot ki thi. Kya main sirf ek costume pehen kar ghoom rahi hoon?
Maine uske sawaal ka jawaab sawaal se diya, "Tumhe kaisa lagta hai jab tum dress up hoti ho kisi function ke liye?"
Woh mere sawaal ka jawaab na dete hue apne agle sawaal par bad gayi, "And I must say, tum toh sach mein ek girl ki tarah dikhti ho. I mean, I have seen pictures of Trans women, and they look nothing like you. Look at your belly button, it looks sooo sexy!"
Ishita ki baat sunte hi maine apne haath se apna belly button chhupane ki koshish kari. Uska compliment well meaning that par jaane kyun mujhe ek taane se kam nahi lag raha tha. Use lag raha tha ki woh meri tareef kar rahi hai, par asal mein woh mere poore existence ko ek "successful experiment" ki tarah measure kar rahi thi.
"Matlab," maine rukhi aawaz mein poocha.
"Aree... I just mean you look so natural." Ishita ne excited ho kar kaha. "Tumhe dekh kar no one can tell whether you are a real girl or not. Pata nahi Vishal itna kyun crib karta hai is sab ke baare mein."
Ishita ko kya pata tha ki Vishal ki jin baaton ko woh cribbing stories bata rahi thi, woh mere liye ekdam real thi. Pichhle kuch saalon se jis tarah se woh mere saath behave karta tha mujhe usse nafrat ho chuki thi. Apni girlfriend ke saath mere baare mein baat karne ki zaroorat hi kya thi use.
Ishita ek topic se doosre topic bhaage jaa rahi thi, "I think Raj Uncle is really lucky to get someone as pretty as you. I am just so excited and tumhari marriage ki shopping toh main hi karwayungi."
"Ishita, please..." Maine thaka hua sa saans liya. Mera gala rone jaisa ho raha tha, par mujhe apna makeup bachana tha. "Mujhe thoda... akela rehna hai. Stage par jaane se pehle."
"Oh! I'm so sorry! Main hamesha zyada bol jati hoon," Ishita ne jaldi se apna bag uthaya aur muskurayi. "Main bahar jaati hoon. Vishal wait kar raha hoga. Aur tension mat lena, tum ekdum 'Doll' lag rahi ho. Raj Uncle toh bas dekhte hi reh jayenge!"
Ishita ke jaate hi kamre mein ek bhari khamoshi chhaa gayi. Maine mirror mein apne aap ko dekha, ek natural dikhne wali doll, jise uske parents ne sellers ki tarah online list kiya ho, Ishita ne critic ki tarah rate kiya ho aur ab bahar hall mein koi use checkout karne wala tha.
Par main jyaada der akele baith kar soch nahi paayi. Kuch hi minute baad, Mom kamre mein aayi aur mera haath pakad kar mujhe uthane lagi.
"Chalo Kanika."
"Ab kya hoga?" Maine ghabrahat mein unki taraf dekha.
"Abhi filhaal main tumhe bahar stage ke saamne bitha dungi. Abhi stage par Raj aur Vishal aur baaki gents honge. Jab tumhara time aayega tab tumhe bhi stage par le jayenge. Theek hai."
Maine haan mein sar hilaya aur Mom mera haath pakad kar mujhe bahar ki taraf le gayi. Main bahar aate hi buri tarah chaunk gayi. Ye bilkul waisa nahi tha jaisa maine socha tha. Kafi badiya sa decorated hall, aur kam se kam pachaas log! Kaun they yeh log? Main in mein se ek ko bhi nahi jaanti thi.
Maine Mom ka haath thoda zor se pakad liya, par unhone bina meri taraf dekhe mujhe aage le jakar ek reserved seat par bitha diya. Main stage ke bilkul saamne baithi thi aur meri nazrein seedha stage par gayi jahan Raj ekdam relaxed baithe they. Unhone ek dark blue color ka suit pehna hua tha aur kafi handsome lag rahe they. Woh mujhe dekh kar halke se muskuraye.
Raj ki woh muskurahat dekh kar mere pet mein ajeeb si khalbali mach gayi. Woh itne sukoon mein kaise ho sakte they? Yahan mera dum ghut raha tha, mere pair un tacky heels mein tadap rahe they, aur Raj wahan aise baithe they jaise kisi business award ceremony mein aaye hon.
Wahan stage par unke saath Vishal ko khade dekh kar toh mera gussa aur bhi badne laga. Uske chehre par ek badi si muskaan thi jaise 'brother of the bride' ka role bahut achhe se play kar raha ho.
"Kanika beta," achanak se Raj ki mummy ki aawaz ne mera dhyaan unki aur kheecha. Woh mere paas aakar baithi aur unke saath do-teen aur ladies bhi thii jo mujhe aise dekh rahi thi jaise koi nayi gaadi ka model check kar rahi hon.
"Bahut hi sundar lag rahi ho," unhone mera gaal chhute hue kaha. "Yeh Raj ki Bua hain, yeh Chachi, aur yeh unki bahu, Megha."
Maine haath jode, par un sab ke chehron par ek ajeeb si smirk thi. Unki aankhon mein ek sawal saaf dikh raha tha - ek itne bade umar ke aadmi ko itni sundar aur jawan ladki kaise mil gayi?
"Toh yeh hai Kanika. Sach mein, Raj ki toh lottery nikal gayi," Bua ne Megha ki taraf dekh kar dheere se kaha. Unka har compliment mujhe ek taane ki tarah lag raha tha, jaise woh mere aur Raj ke is match ke peeche ki keemat dhoond rahi hon.
Megha mere doosri taraf aakar baith gayi aur mera lengha neeche se theek karne lagi. "Bahut hi elegant lag rahi ho is lenghe main," Megha ne softly kaha.
"Dekho... Devrani aur Jethani ne abhi se team bhi bana li." Chachi ne haste hue kaha. "Bas kaash Ananya bhi hoti yahan, apni nayi mummy se mil leti."
Raj ki Mom ka chehra ek pal ke liye utar sa gaya, "Woh... woh apne studies mein busy hai na. Exams sar par hain. Aise mein itni door se kaise aati."
"Maine toh suna hai woh kafi bura maan kar baithi hai," Chachi ne dheere se kaha. "Kal hi toh Nikhil aur uski baat ho rahi thi."
Main conversation ko gaur se sunne ke koshish kar rahi thi, par kafi saare naam they aur kuch alag family dynamics they. Ananya... woh toh shayad Raj ki daughter hai. Uska bura manna, main shayad samajh sakti thi. Is age mein uske Dad kisi jawaan ladki se shaadi kar rahe they. Oh god, woh 'jawaan ladki' main hi toh thi. Ek minute ke liye is family gossip mein main bhool gayi thi ki mera yahan kya role tha.
Tabhi meri Mom meri taraf aayi, "Kanika... Aunty ji... in logo ki rasam poori ho gayi hai. Chaliye, ab Kanika ki baari hai."
Sab log ekdam se khade ho gaye aur Mom mujhe apne saath stage par le gaye. Mujhe wahan beech mein ek chair par bitha diya gaya aur Raj ki family ki ladies rasam ke naam par mera make up karne lagi.
Is sab ke beech Bua ne dheere se kaha, "Aap logo ki side se koi nahi aaya?"
Mom pareshaan hote hue kuch jawaab nahi de paa rahi thi, tabhi Ishita ki chehakti hui aawaz aayi, "Aunty ji... main hoon na... Kanika ki to-be bhabhi."
"Achha... tumhare mummy papa nahi aaye?" Bua ne use teekhi nazro se dekhte hue poocha.
"Actually we were told ki function kafi small hoga, par yahan aakar pata chala ki aap logo ki side se itne log aaye hue hain."
Ufff, is ladki ka koi kuch nahi kar sakta tha. Umar mein chahe hi mujhse badi thi, par isko kab kya bolna hai ise bilkul nahi pata tha.
Sab logo ka dhyan fir se meri taraf ho gaya aur sab log mujhe bridal gifts dene lage - saree, jewelry, aur bhi cheezen. Unki taraf se aisa lag raha tha ki Megha kafi actively sab kuch sambhal rahi thi. Woh umar mein kam se kam mujhse 8-10 saal toh badi hogi, maybe in her late 20's ya early 30's.
Megha ka hath mere kandhe par tha aur uski smile doosron ke muqable thodi soft thi, par uski aankhon ki chamak bata rahi thi ki woh iss saare tamashe ko bade gaur se analyze kar rahi hai.
"Chalo ab rings ki baari hai," bheed mein kisi ne ailaan kiya.
Raj aur baaki saare log bhi stage par aa gaye. Ab tak toh jo mera haal tha woh tha, par ab yeh ring ceremony ko paas aate dekh meri halat aur kharaab hoti jaa rahi thi. Maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki yeh din bhi kabhi meri life mein aayega. Kuch hafte pehle tak main bas Europe jaane aur ek billi rakhne ke sapne dekhti thi. Aur aaj jaane kaise yahan tak pahuch gayi thi.
Mom ne mujhe khada kiya aur Raj mere bilkul saamne aa kar khade ho gaye. Lights tez hui aur cameras ki flash ne meri aankhon ko chundhiya diya. Raj ne jab mera seedha hath thama, toh ek pal ke liye mere badan mein bijli si douri. Unka hath bada aur kafi garam tha, mere thande pairo aur kaanpti hui ungliyon ke muqable. Unhone jab ring meri ungli mein slide ki, toh unki pakad kafi gentle thi, aur unki nazrein seedha meri aankhon mein thi.
Mummy ne mere haath mein doosri ring di, aur maine kaanpte hathon se unhe ring pehnayi, unki badi badi ungliyon mein. Us pal mein, pachaas logon ka shor jaise dhundhla sa ho gaya tha. Ring pehnate hi Raj ne halke se mere kaanpte hue haath ko thaam liya. Aisa lag raha tha jaise yeh koi 'arrangement' nahi, asli ka rishta ban raha ho ek mard aur aurat ke beech.
Photographer stage par hamari photos lene laga aur log dheere dheere stage se khane ki taraf badhne lagi. Dad stage par pareshaan khade hue logon ki taraf dekh rahe they, ya particularly Ishita ki taraf, jo Raj ki family ki ladies se excited ho kar baat kar rahi thi.
Maine dekha Dad ne kaise Vishal ko teekhi nazron se ishara kiya, aur Vishal turant stage se neeche utra aur Ishita ki taraf badha, taaki woh use manage kar sake. Use bhi shayad achhe se pata tha ki Ishita ke paas koi filter nahi tha. Kuch hi pal baad Vishal Ishita ka haath pakad kar use ek corner mein le gaya, aur Ishita ka excited chehra thoda dull sa ho gaya.
Main ye sab stage se dekh hi rahi thi ki photographer ne phir se mujhe focus karne ke liye kaha. Photos ke beech mein maine Raj ko whisper kiya, "Aapne toh kaha tha ki bas ek small function karenge? Yahan toh itne saare log hain. Aur photographer ki kya zaroorat thi?"
"Sorry... woh... mummy ne bina mujhse pooche logo ko invite kar liya. Par yeh log sirf family ke khaas khaas log hain."
Main soch rahi thi ki sirf khaas log they toh poori family kaisi dikhti hogi. Agar hamari shaadi hui toh kya main ek grand wedding mein dulhan hongi? Nahi nahi... yeh shaadi hogi hi nahi.
"Par honestly, tumne itni bheed ko kafi gracefully handle kiya hai. I am really impressed. Dheere dheere tum bilkul comfortable ho jayogi, yehi toh hamara goal hai na." Raj ne meri taraf muskura kar dekha.
Photographer ne hum dono ki ek aakhri candid photo shot liya jisme hum dono ek doosre ko dekh rahe they.
Mom hum dono ko dinner ki taraf le gayi, aur hume ek badi si table par bitha diya gaya. Thakan ki wajah se mera bura haal ho chuka tha aur bhook bhi kafi lag rahi thi. Par aaj se pehle maine kabhi itne makeup or lipstick mein khana nahi khaya tha. Main soch rahi thi ki pata nahi main kha bhi payungi ya nahi.
Hamare aas paas Raj ki family ke log aakar baith gaye. Kuch bade, kuch young log, kuch bacche.
Unme se ek young ladke ne meri taraf ek fork badayi, "Mami... yeh lo, yeh dish try karo."
Megha ne muskurate hue kaha, "Kanika, yeh hai hamari family ka sabse shaitaan ladka, Bua ji ka pota, Nikhil."
Toh yeh shayad wohi Nikhil tha jiski baat Chachi pehle kar rahi thi. Woh dekhne mein lagbhag meri age ka hi lag raha tha. Fork mein laga khana bilkul mere honthon ke saamne tha aur maine apna muh halke se khola.
Nikhil ne kafi confidence ke saath woh piece mere muh mein dala. Maine use taste kiya, kuch spicy aur rich sa flavor tha, par mera dhyaan uske swaad se zyada Nikhil ki nazron par tha. Nikhil ki aankhen mere chehre par nahi, balki choli ke cleavage par thami hui thi jahan push-up bra ne mere curves ko kuch jyada hi ubhaar diya tha. Uske chehre par ek aisi creepiness aur smirk thi jo mujhe uncomfortable kar rahi thi.
Maine ghabra kar Raj ki taraf dekha, par unka dhyaan us waqt kisi aur se baat karne mein tha. Woh kafi relaxed lag rahe they. Main soch rahi thi ki jaane woh kaisa mehsoos karenge agar kabhi unhone notice kiya ki koi meri taraf is tarah dekh raha hai? Kya woh mujhe protect karenge, ya phir unhe farak bhi nahi padega?
"Kaisa laga?" Nikhil ne thoda aage jhukte hue poocha. Uski aawaz mein ek ajeeb sa playful flirty tone tha.
"Achha hai," maine bas itna hi kaha aur apni nazrein jhuka li. Main usse nazrein nahi milana chahti thi.
Raj ne bhi ek bite meri taraf bada di, jaane kyun par woh bite lene mein mujhe itni hichak nahi hui. Sab log mujhe bhi Raj ko khilane ke liye bol rahe they. Maine apni plate se dheere se spoon uthayi aur usme thode se chhole chawal lete hue Raj ke saamne kar diye. Raj ne meri aankhon mein dekhte hue woh bite apne muh mein liya. Ek pal ke liye aisa lag raha tha jaise wahan bas hum dono hi hain.
Tabhi table par taaliyon aur logo ke comments fir se aane lage aur maine spoon wapas neeche rakh di.
Dinner khatam hone tak main puri tarah tired ho chuki thi. Raj aur mere aas-paas log abhi bhi baaton mein busy they, par mera dhyaan ab sirf is baat par tha ki kab main ye heels utaarungi aur kab ye tight choli mere seene se hategi.
Raj uth kar Dad aur kisi aur se baat karne lage aur maine dekha ki achanak se mere aas paas ka poora group change ho gaya tha. Saath mein Raj ki mummy aur older auraten baithi thi. Woh log mujhe gaur se analyze kar rahi thi, jaise mere andar koi kami dhoondne ki koshish kar rahi ho.
"Vaise Kanika, tumhara skin tone kafi achha hai," Bua ne meri taraf dekhte hue kaha, "Kaun se beauty products use karti ho."
Raj ki mummy beech mein bol padi, "Bilkul natural hai, main mili hoon na isse bina makeup ke. Saalon se jaanti hu ise, bahut hi pyaari ladki hai."
"Bas ab aisi hi pyaari ladki hamare Nikhil ke liye bhi dhoond lena."
"Nikhil hi kyun! Ab toh saare ke saare sapne dekh rahe hain ki kab ham mare aur unhe doosri shaadi karne ka mauka mile." Chachi ne haste hue Megha ko kohni maari.
"Par har kisi ke kismat mein aisi khoobsurat aur jawan dulhan nahi hoti na," kisi aur aurat ne kaha.
"Na kismat mein aur na aukaat mein."
Mera gala bhar aaya. Unka ye aukaat wala comment mujhe aise feel karwa raha tha jaise mujhe khareeda gaya ho. Mere saamne hote hue woh yeh sab bolne se hichak nahi rahi thi, toh pata nahi mere peeche unhone mujhe kis hadd tak gira diya hoga.
Mere nazrein instinctively Mom ko dhoondne lagi. Woh thodi door khadi kuch ladies se baat kar rahi thi. Kya unhone yeh sab suna tha? Unka chehra... ekdam blank tha. Jaise unhone kuch suna hi nahi. Ya phir... jaan-bujh kar ignore kar rahi thi.
Maine unhe ek baar aur dekha, hoping ki woh meri taraf dekhegi, kuch bolegi, mera saath degi. Par Mom ne apni nazar doosri taraf pher li.
Dad bhi alag khade kisi se baat mein busy they. Aisa lag raha tha unhone mujhe poori tarah akela chhod diya tha.
Raat hote hote logon ki bheed kam hoti gayi, aur aakhir mein sirf hamari family aur Raj aur unki mummy reh gaye they. Dad aur Raj abhi bhi kuch serious sa discussion kar rahe they. Main thakan aur ghabrahat ke beech, jaane-anjaane unke thoda paas ja kar khadi ho gayi. Hall ki sajavat ab utari ja rahi thi, aur wahan ki khamoshi mein unki aawaz saaf sunayi de rahi thi.
"Dekho Raj," Dad ki aawaz mein hichkichahat thi, "Yahan padosi aur rishtedaar... sawal toh uthayenge hi. Kanika ka is tarah rehna aur nikalna, log notice karte hain."
"Main samajhta hoon," Raj ne kafi calm tone mein kaha. "Isi liye maine socha hai ki tum log mere GK wale flat mein move kar jayo. Wahan tum logo ko nahi jaanta, aur Kanika wahan zyada comfortable rahegi."
Dad thoda rukey, "Woh flat... woh toh itna mehnga hai... aise kaise main tumhare flat mein..."
"Koi problem nahi hai," Raj ne unhe beech mein hi kaata. "Main woh flat Kanika ke naam transfer karwa dunga. Toh technically, aap log apne hi ghar mein honge. Koi sawal uthane wala nahi hoga."
Mujhe unki yeh baat sunkar ajeeb sa laga. Ek taraf toh meri privacy ke liye apne ek flat mein rehne ke liye offer kar rahe they, par doosri taraf aaj jo kuch logon ne kaha tha uske baad aur jyada aisa lag raha tha jaise woh meri poori family ko khareedne ki koshish kar rahe hon. It just didn't feel right. Aur Dad... Dad bilkul comfortable lag rahe they is sab se.
Dad ne jaise hi mujhe paas khada dekha, unhone achanak baat rok di aur bina mujhse nazrein milaye wahan se nikal gaye. Unka is tarah katra kar nikal jaana mujhe aur bhi vulnerable mehsoos kara raha tha. Raj meri taraf murey. Unke chehre par abhi bhi woh calm si muskurahat thi.
"How are you? I am sure tired," unhone sahaj hokar poocha.
"Very tired! Itna lamba din tha, aur itne saare log. Pata nahi woh kya-kya bol rahe they. Mujhe nahi lagta main yeh ye natak aur jyada kar payungi," maine apni thakaan aur chidchidahat mein apne mann ki baat bol di.
"Pareshan mat ho," Raj ne dheere se kaha. "Maine mummy se aur tumhare Dad se baat kar li hai. Ab filhaal kafi time tak koi aur function nahi hoga. Main chahta hoon ki pehle tum apne college ka aakhri saal aaram se poora kar lo. Hum tab tak wait karenge."
Mujhe laga shayad thodi rahat milegi, college khatam hone mein abhi 9-10 mahine baaki they, aur yeh mohlat kafi badi lag rahi thi. Par unka agla sentence mujhe wapas reality mein le aaya.
"Lekin is beech, hume apna kaam jaari rakhna hoga. Maine shehar ke best doctors aur specialists ke saath tumhare liye kuch appointments book ki hain. Agla phase thoda mushkil ho sakta hai, par zaroori hai."
Unhone mere kandhe par halka sa haath rakha, par us ek touch mein mein bhi ab poora haq sa tha. "Main abhi 2 hafte ke liye Mumbai ja raha hoon. Jab wapas aaunga, tab hum in appointments ke liye jayenge. Tab tak tension mat lena. And you can call me anytime. Theek hai?"
Maine dheere se haan mein sar hilaya.
Kuch der baad main wapas apne ghar Dad ki car mein jaa rahi thi. Car mein ek ajeeb se chuppi thi, jaise sab log aaj ke is poore drama se buri tarah thak gaye hon.
Maine apni ungli mein pehni hui mehngi si angoothi ko dekha jo bahar se aati lights mein chamak rahi thi. Heels, choli aur push up bra se kahin jyada yeh angoothi bhari lag rahi thi.
Unhe toh main ghar jakar utaar sakti thi, par yeh mujhe baar baar yaad dila rahi thi ki shayad main apni life ka control kho baithi thi.
Maine apne reflection ko mirror mein dekhte hue ek gehri saans andar li. Lengha ka heavy ghaghra mere kamar par bilkul perfectly fit tha, aur choli itni tight thi ki saans lena mushkil ho raha tha. Itna magical sa lag raha yeh lavendar colour ka lengha mujh par, jaisi kisi movie ke set se laaya gaya ho. Par asli magic toh neeche pehni gayi push-up bra ka tha, jisne mujhe ek aisi figure di thi jo maine kabhi socha bhi nahi thi. Mere chest par proper curves they ab. Breasts... fuller, bigger. Almost real.
Makeup artist kuch der pehle hi ja chuke they, sab kaam khatam karke. Makeup bahut heavy nahi tha, bas itna ki main aaj ke function ki main attraction dikhu. Mom ne makeup artists ke aane ke pehle hi mujhe wig pehna diya tha, taaki main unke saamne awkward na feel karu. Yeh naya wig thoda aur stylish tha, aur isme mere baal curvy aur elegant lag rahe they. Kaano mein clip on earrings, haathon mein bhaari kangan, aur gale mein ek diamond ka necklace, kisi actress se kam nahi lag rahi thi main.
Par is perfection ki bhi ek keemat thi. Pichhle kuch hafton se meri chest kuch jyada hi sensitive ho gayi thi. Main jab bhi saans leti, bra ki sakht wire aur choli ka bhari embroidery wala kapda mere un sensitive tissues par dabta jisse ek teekhi chubhan mehsoos hoti. Yeh dard mujhe baar baar yaad dila raha tha ki maine sirf koi costume nahi pehni thi, mere andar ka badlaav sach tha.
Yeh badlaav hi toh tha jisne mujhe aaj yahan is banquet hall ke room mein khada kar diya tha. Pichhle 4-5 din ek dhundhle sapne ki tarah nikle they. Jab maine Mom ko darte darte haan kaha tha, tab woh meri choice nahi tha balki ek mazboori thi. Dad ki di hui deadline sar par talwar ban kar latak rahi thi. Ya toh main Raj "Uncle" se engagement ke liye haan karti ya fir apni bachi-kuchi pehchaan bhi kho baithti. Pata nahi uske baad Dad ka agla plan kya hota.
Isi ghutan ke beech Raj ka woh "arrangement" mujhe ek safety net ki tarah dikhai de raha tha. Us din ki meeting ke baad mujhe lagne laga tha ki, jo kuch bhi hone wala tha, uska poora control abhi bhi mere haathon mein tha. Main jab chahun is poore natak ko khatam kar sakti thi. Main jaanti thi ki main yeh shaadi kabhi nahi karungi, par filhaal is engagement ke liye haan karna meri zaroorat ban gaya tha.
"Yeh pehen lo," Mom ne mere saamne ek pair of embellished heels rakhte hue mera dhyan kheecha. Chamakdar golden, un ke straps par stones lage hue they, ek dam tacky, totally not my style.
Ek hafte ke andar yeh sab jo bhi shopping aur arrangement hui thi kisi chamatkar se kam thi kya. Mujhe toh pata bhi nahi tha ladkiyon ko ek chhote se function ke liye bhi itna kuch chahiye hota hai.
Maine unhe dekhte hue apna muh banaaya, "Yeh? Yeh pehenna padega kya?"
"Haan, aur kya. Lenghe ke saath yehi jayenge, koi sports shoes toh pehnogi nahi."
Maine reluctantly heels pehenne shuru kiye. Pehle hi ek minute mein mere pair dard karne lage. Heels jyada uchhi nahi thi par tight straps mere toes ko kaat rahe they aur stones mere skin par ragad rahe they.
"Mom... yeh bahut tight hain... aur uncomfortable bhi." Main bas rone hi wali thi.
Mom ne halke se smile ki, ek thaka hua, udaas sa smile, "Yeh toh bas shuruwat hai beta. Heels pehenne ka aadat daalni padegi tumhe. Aur waise bhi..." unhone meri aankhon mein dekhte hue kaha, "ab tumhe samajh aayega ek aurat hone ka asli matlab. Kitna dard sehna padta hai."
Unka yeh filmy dialogue sunkar maine muh banaya. Par mann mein thodi ghabrahat bhi hui, kya sach mein girls ko jyada dard sehna padta hai. Main toh bilkul...
Ding Ding Ding
Text messages ki aawaz ne ekdam se meri thoughts ko distract kiya. Ek ke baad ek lagatar text messages aaye jaa rahe they.
Maine annoy ho kar banquet hall ke is bridal room mein baithe us unwanted guest ki taraf dekha. Ishita Mehra, mere bhai ki girlfriend. Woh apne phone par tezi se type karti hui texts bhej rahi thi. Uske chehre par ek badi si muskaan thi aur beech beech mein uske muh se giggling ki sound nikal rahi thi, jaise koi interesting gossip kar rahi ho.
Use wahan mere saath is kamre mein dekh kar mera khoon phir se khaula. Meri engagement par woh yahan kyun baithi thi! Apni hi duniya mein lost use mujhse koi matlab toh tha na. Aur meri best friend Riya? Use is function mein aane ki permission tak nahi thi.
"Family only," Dad ne kaha tha jab maine Mom se request ki thi ki Riya ko bula lein. "Koi bahar wala nahi."
Par Ishita bhi toh bahar waali hi thi na? Woh toh hamari family ka part nahi thi... abhi tak toh nahi.
Sach toh yeh tha ki woh uninvited aayi thi. Vishal ne use bata diya tha engagement ke baare mein, use pata hona bhi nahi chahiye tha par obviously woh apni girlfriend se kuch chhupa nahi sakta tha. Aur phir Ishita khud aa gayi, "surprise" dete hue.
Dad bilkul khush nahi they. Unka chehra dekh kar pata chal gaya tha. Par phir unhone... koi tamasha na create karte hue... accept kar liya. Kyunki Ishita practically unke ghar ki "future bahu" thi na. Vishal ki hone wali biwi. Toh technically woh bhi family hi thi.
Mujhe itna gussa aaya tha jab Mom ne mujhe ye logic diya tha. Kaash maine bhi Riya ko bol diya hota ki tu bas aaja, jo hoga dekha jayega. Par nahi... mujhe toh hamesha Dad ki baat sunni hoti hai na.
Maine apne pair mein heels ko adjust karte hue apna gussa control karne ki koshish ki. Yeh mera din tha. Mera function. Meri... meri engagement. Par kuch bhi toh mera nahi lag raha tha.
"Smile!"
Flash ki tez roshni meri aankhon mein chubhi. Maine ghabra kar apni nazrein churayi, par tab tak Ishita ne meri photo kheench li thi.
"Ishita! Yeh kya kar rahi ho? Bina pooche photo kyun li?" Mera gussa ab mere control se bahar nikal raha tha.
"Relax! Tum itni pyaari lag rahi ho." Ishita ne excited hote hue screen mere saamne ki.
Main isse pehle sahi se photo ko sahi se dekh paati, usne apne phone par jaldi se ungliyaan chalate hue kuch kiya. Aisi aawaz aayi jaise usne abhi kisi ko meri photo send kari ho.
"Photo kisi ko send mat karna! Dad ne mana kiya hai." Meri aawaz mein panic saaf tha.
"Arre, relax Kanika! Maine bas Vishal ko bheji hai," Ishita ne kafi casual tone mein kaha, jaise isme koi badi baat na ho. "Woh kabse dhoond raha tha mujhe, aur kafi nervous bhi lag raha tha. Socha use dikha doon ki uski behen kitni stunning lag rahi hai. After all, usse kya chhupana?"
Vishal ko bhej di!!! Mere dimaag mein ek dhamaka sa hua. Mere liye ye koi normal photo nahi thi, yeh meri poori zindagi ka sabse vulnerable moment tha. Aur Ishita ne use ek cute photo ki tarah forward kar diya tha. Woh bhi ek aise insaan ko jo mere ladki hone se kabhi comfortable nahi hua tha.
"Tumhe... tumhe meri permission ke bina nahi bhejni chahiye thi," mere chehre par naraazgi saaf thi.
"Oh! Sorry, sorry! Maine socha tumhe achha lagega," Ishita pareshaan hote hue khadi hui aur mere paas aayi. Uska chehra ekdam se innocent aur curious tha. Uski nazrein mere upar neeche ghoom rahi thi, jaise woh kisi exhibition mein rakhe kisi art work ko inspect kar rahi ho.
Maine chalne ki koshish kari par heels mein balance banana namumkin sa lag raha tha. Mere pair kaapne lage aur main haar maan kar stool par dher ho gayi.
"Ouch!" Maine apne toes ko adjust karte hue groan kiya.
"Arre, aise nahi!" Ishita mere paas neeche jhuki aur mere pairon ko position karne lagi. "Tum apna poora weight apni heels par daal rahi ho, isliye dard ho raha hai. Sara weight aage rakho, apne toes par. Heel ko aage ki aur jhuka kar."
Usne mujhe sahara dete hue khada kiya aur maine aage ki aur jhuk kar chalne ki koshish ki, is baar main pehle se thoda jyada successful hui, par ajeeb sa lag raha tha.
Ishita ne mere shoulders pakadte hue peeche ki aur kiye, "Tumhe aage nahi jhukna hai, just your toes. Apne shoulders straight rakho, you don't want to be called the hunchback."
Maine fir se koshish kari, aisa lag raha tha jaise main pose karte hue chal rahi hoon.
"See? Ab better hai," Ishita ne thoda peeche hat kar mujhe aise dekha jaise koi painter apni painting ka final touch check kar raha ho, "Bas apne hips bhi thode se move karo, jyada nahi. I am sure it's all new to you, but you are doing great!"
Ab main Ishita ko kaise samjhati, shoulders straight karne se aisa lag raha tha jaise bra aur choli mere seene mein andar ghus rahi ho.
"Thanks," maine dheere se bolte hue use ek thaki hui smile di. Aur main phir se jakar stool par baith gayi.
Ishita abhi bhi meri taraf ghoor rahi thi. Uska chehre dekh kar saaf pata chal raha tha woh kuch poochna chahti thi. Woh ab apni curiosity ko aur control nahi kar sakti thi.
"Kanika... waise ek baat pucho..."
Maine dheere se haan mein sar hilaya. Na bhi karti toh woh poochne bina nahi rehti.
"Jab tum yeh sab... yeh wig, lengha, makeup pehenti ho, toh kya tumhe sach mein ladkiyon wali feeling aati hai? Ya phir aisa lagta hai tum pretend play kar rahi ho. Don't mind... I am just curious."
Mera dil ek pal ke liye ruk gaya. Uske sawal mein koi dushmani nahi thi, bas ek kora bachpana tha, par usne mere sabse bade darr par chot ki thi. Kya main sirf ek costume pehen kar ghoom rahi hoon?
Maine uske sawaal ka jawaab sawaal se diya, "Tumhe kaisa lagta hai jab tum dress up hoti ho kisi function ke liye?"
Woh mere sawaal ka jawaab na dete hue apne agle sawaal par bad gayi, "And I must say, tum toh sach mein ek girl ki tarah dikhti ho. I mean, I have seen pictures of Trans women, and they look nothing like you. Look at your belly button, it looks sooo sexy!"
Ishita ki baat sunte hi maine apne haath se apna belly button chhupane ki koshish kari. Uska compliment well meaning that par jaane kyun mujhe ek taane se kam nahi lag raha tha. Use lag raha tha ki woh meri tareef kar rahi hai, par asal mein woh mere poore existence ko ek "successful experiment" ki tarah measure kar rahi thi.
"Matlab," maine rukhi aawaz mein poocha.
"Aree... I just mean you look so natural." Ishita ne excited ho kar kaha. "Tumhe dekh kar no one can tell whether you are a real girl or not. Pata nahi Vishal itna kyun crib karta hai is sab ke baare mein."
Ishita ko kya pata tha ki Vishal ki jin baaton ko woh cribbing stories bata rahi thi, woh mere liye ekdam real thi. Pichhle kuch saalon se jis tarah se woh mere saath behave karta tha mujhe usse nafrat ho chuki thi. Apni girlfriend ke saath mere baare mein baat karne ki zaroorat hi kya thi use.
Ishita ek topic se doosre topic bhaage jaa rahi thi, "I think Raj Uncle is really lucky to get someone as pretty as you. I am just so excited and tumhari marriage ki shopping toh main hi karwayungi."
"Ishita, please..." Maine thaka hua sa saans liya. Mera gala rone jaisa ho raha tha, par mujhe apna makeup bachana tha. "Mujhe thoda... akela rehna hai. Stage par jaane se pehle."
"Oh! I'm so sorry! Main hamesha zyada bol jati hoon," Ishita ne jaldi se apna bag uthaya aur muskurayi. "Main bahar jaati hoon. Vishal wait kar raha hoga. Aur tension mat lena, tum ekdum 'Doll' lag rahi ho. Raj Uncle toh bas dekhte hi reh jayenge!"
Ishita ke jaate hi kamre mein ek bhari khamoshi chhaa gayi. Maine mirror mein apne aap ko dekha, ek natural dikhne wali doll, jise uske parents ne sellers ki tarah online list kiya ho, Ishita ne critic ki tarah rate kiya ho aur ab bahar hall mein koi use checkout karne wala tha.
Par main jyaada der akele baith kar soch nahi paayi. Kuch hi minute baad, Mom kamre mein aayi aur mera haath pakad kar mujhe uthane lagi.
"Chalo Kanika."
"Ab kya hoga?" Maine ghabrahat mein unki taraf dekha.
"Abhi filhaal main tumhe bahar stage ke saamne bitha dungi. Abhi stage par Raj aur Vishal aur baaki gents honge. Jab tumhara time aayega tab tumhe bhi stage par le jayenge. Theek hai."
Maine haan mein sar hilaya aur Mom mera haath pakad kar mujhe bahar ki taraf le gayi. Main bahar aate hi buri tarah chaunk gayi. Ye bilkul waisa nahi tha jaisa maine socha tha. Kafi badiya sa decorated hall, aur kam se kam pachaas log! Kaun they yeh log? Main in mein se ek ko bhi nahi jaanti thi.
Maine Mom ka haath thoda zor se pakad liya, par unhone bina meri taraf dekhe mujhe aage le jakar ek reserved seat par bitha diya. Main stage ke bilkul saamne baithi thi aur meri nazrein seedha stage par gayi jahan Raj ekdam relaxed baithe they. Unhone ek dark blue color ka suit pehna hua tha aur kafi handsome lag rahe they. Woh mujhe dekh kar halke se muskuraye.
Raj ki woh muskurahat dekh kar mere pet mein ajeeb si khalbali mach gayi. Woh itne sukoon mein kaise ho sakte they? Yahan mera dum ghut raha tha, mere pair un tacky heels mein tadap rahe they, aur Raj wahan aise baithe they jaise kisi business award ceremony mein aaye hon.
Wahan stage par unke saath Vishal ko khade dekh kar toh mera gussa aur bhi badne laga. Uske chehre par ek badi si muskaan thi jaise 'brother of the bride' ka role bahut achhe se play kar raha ho.
"Kanika beta," achanak se Raj ki mummy ki aawaz ne mera dhyaan unki aur kheecha. Woh mere paas aakar baithi aur unke saath do-teen aur ladies bhi thii jo mujhe aise dekh rahi thi jaise koi nayi gaadi ka model check kar rahi hon.
"Bahut hi sundar lag rahi ho," unhone mera gaal chhute hue kaha. "Yeh Raj ki Bua hain, yeh Chachi, aur yeh unki bahu, Megha."
Maine haath jode, par un sab ke chehron par ek ajeeb si smirk thi. Unki aankhon mein ek sawal saaf dikh raha tha - ek itne bade umar ke aadmi ko itni sundar aur jawan ladki kaise mil gayi?
"Toh yeh hai Kanika. Sach mein, Raj ki toh lottery nikal gayi," Bua ne Megha ki taraf dekh kar dheere se kaha. Unka har compliment mujhe ek taane ki tarah lag raha tha, jaise woh mere aur Raj ke is match ke peeche ki keemat dhoond rahi hon.
Megha mere doosri taraf aakar baith gayi aur mera lengha neeche se theek karne lagi. "Bahut hi elegant lag rahi ho is lenghe main," Megha ne softly kaha.
"Dekho... Devrani aur Jethani ne abhi se team bhi bana li." Chachi ne haste hue kaha. "Bas kaash Ananya bhi hoti yahan, apni nayi mummy se mil leti."
Raj ki Mom ka chehra ek pal ke liye utar sa gaya, "Woh... woh apne studies mein busy hai na. Exams sar par hain. Aise mein itni door se kaise aati."
"Maine toh suna hai woh kafi bura maan kar baithi hai," Chachi ne dheere se kaha. "Kal hi toh Nikhil aur uski baat ho rahi thi."
Main conversation ko gaur se sunne ke koshish kar rahi thi, par kafi saare naam they aur kuch alag family dynamics they. Ananya... woh toh shayad Raj ki daughter hai. Uska bura manna, main shayad samajh sakti thi. Is age mein uske Dad kisi jawaan ladki se shaadi kar rahe they. Oh god, woh 'jawaan ladki' main hi toh thi. Ek minute ke liye is family gossip mein main bhool gayi thi ki mera yahan kya role tha.
Tabhi meri Mom meri taraf aayi, "Kanika... Aunty ji... in logo ki rasam poori ho gayi hai. Chaliye, ab Kanika ki baari hai."
Sab log ekdam se khade ho gaye aur Mom mujhe apne saath stage par le gaye. Mujhe wahan beech mein ek chair par bitha diya gaya aur Raj ki family ki ladies rasam ke naam par mera make up karne lagi.
Is sab ke beech Bua ne dheere se kaha, "Aap logo ki side se koi nahi aaya?"
Mom pareshaan hote hue kuch jawaab nahi de paa rahi thi, tabhi Ishita ki chehakti hui aawaz aayi, "Aunty ji... main hoon na... Kanika ki to-be bhabhi."
"Achha... tumhare mummy papa nahi aaye?" Bua ne use teekhi nazro se dekhte hue poocha.
"Actually we were told ki function kafi small hoga, par yahan aakar pata chala ki aap logo ki side se itne log aaye hue hain."
Ufff, is ladki ka koi kuch nahi kar sakta tha. Umar mein chahe hi mujhse badi thi, par isko kab kya bolna hai ise bilkul nahi pata tha.
Sab logo ka dhyan fir se meri taraf ho gaya aur sab log mujhe bridal gifts dene lage - saree, jewelry, aur bhi cheezen. Unki taraf se aisa lag raha tha ki Megha kafi actively sab kuch sambhal rahi thi. Woh umar mein kam se kam mujhse 8-10 saal toh badi hogi, maybe in her late 20's ya early 30's.
Megha ka hath mere kandhe par tha aur uski smile doosron ke muqable thodi soft thi, par uski aankhon ki chamak bata rahi thi ki woh iss saare tamashe ko bade gaur se analyze kar rahi hai.
"Chalo ab rings ki baari hai," bheed mein kisi ne ailaan kiya.
Raj aur baaki saare log bhi stage par aa gaye. Ab tak toh jo mera haal tha woh tha, par ab yeh ring ceremony ko paas aate dekh meri halat aur kharaab hoti jaa rahi thi. Maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki yeh din bhi kabhi meri life mein aayega. Kuch hafte pehle tak main bas Europe jaane aur ek billi rakhne ke sapne dekhti thi. Aur aaj jaane kaise yahan tak pahuch gayi thi.
Mom ne mujhe khada kiya aur Raj mere bilkul saamne aa kar khade ho gaye. Lights tez hui aur cameras ki flash ne meri aankhon ko chundhiya diya. Raj ne jab mera seedha hath thama, toh ek pal ke liye mere badan mein bijli si douri. Unka hath bada aur kafi garam tha, mere thande pairo aur kaanpti hui ungliyon ke muqable. Unhone jab ring meri ungli mein slide ki, toh unki pakad kafi gentle thi, aur unki nazrein seedha meri aankhon mein thi.
Mummy ne mere haath mein doosri ring di, aur maine kaanpte hathon se unhe ring pehnayi, unki badi badi ungliyon mein. Us pal mein, pachaas logon ka shor jaise dhundhla sa ho gaya tha. Ring pehnate hi Raj ne halke se mere kaanpte hue haath ko thaam liya. Aisa lag raha tha jaise yeh koi 'arrangement' nahi, asli ka rishta ban raha ho ek mard aur aurat ke beech.
Photographer stage par hamari photos lene laga aur log dheere dheere stage se khane ki taraf badhne lagi. Dad stage par pareshaan khade hue logon ki taraf dekh rahe they, ya particularly Ishita ki taraf, jo Raj ki family ki ladies se excited ho kar baat kar rahi thi.
Maine dekha Dad ne kaise Vishal ko teekhi nazron se ishara kiya, aur Vishal turant stage se neeche utra aur Ishita ki taraf badha, taaki woh use manage kar sake. Use bhi shayad achhe se pata tha ki Ishita ke paas koi filter nahi tha. Kuch hi pal baad Vishal Ishita ka haath pakad kar use ek corner mein le gaya, aur Ishita ka excited chehra thoda dull sa ho gaya.
Main ye sab stage se dekh hi rahi thi ki photographer ne phir se mujhe focus karne ke liye kaha. Photos ke beech mein maine Raj ko whisper kiya, "Aapne toh kaha tha ki bas ek small function karenge? Yahan toh itne saare log hain. Aur photographer ki kya zaroorat thi?"
"Sorry... woh... mummy ne bina mujhse pooche logo ko invite kar liya. Par yeh log sirf family ke khaas khaas log hain."
Main soch rahi thi ki sirf khaas log they toh poori family kaisi dikhti hogi. Agar hamari shaadi hui toh kya main ek grand wedding mein dulhan hongi? Nahi nahi... yeh shaadi hogi hi nahi.
"Par honestly, tumne itni bheed ko kafi gracefully handle kiya hai. I am really impressed. Dheere dheere tum bilkul comfortable ho jayogi, yehi toh hamara goal hai na." Raj ne meri taraf muskura kar dekha.
Photographer ne hum dono ki ek aakhri candid photo shot liya jisme hum dono ek doosre ko dekh rahe they.
Mom hum dono ko dinner ki taraf le gayi, aur hume ek badi si table par bitha diya gaya. Thakan ki wajah se mera bura haal ho chuka tha aur bhook bhi kafi lag rahi thi. Par aaj se pehle maine kabhi itne makeup or lipstick mein khana nahi khaya tha. Main soch rahi thi ki pata nahi main kha bhi payungi ya nahi.
Hamare aas paas Raj ki family ke log aakar baith gaye. Kuch bade, kuch young log, kuch bacche.
Unme se ek young ladke ne meri taraf ek fork badayi, "Mami... yeh lo, yeh dish try karo."
Megha ne muskurate hue kaha, "Kanika, yeh hai hamari family ka sabse shaitaan ladka, Bua ji ka pota, Nikhil."
Toh yeh shayad wohi Nikhil tha jiski baat Chachi pehle kar rahi thi. Woh dekhne mein lagbhag meri age ka hi lag raha tha. Fork mein laga khana bilkul mere honthon ke saamne tha aur maine apna muh halke se khola.
Nikhil ne kafi confidence ke saath woh piece mere muh mein dala. Maine use taste kiya, kuch spicy aur rich sa flavor tha, par mera dhyaan uske swaad se zyada Nikhil ki nazron par tha. Nikhil ki aankhen mere chehre par nahi, balki choli ke cleavage par thami hui thi jahan push-up bra ne mere curves ko kuch jyada hi ubhaar diya tha. Uske chehre par ek aisi creepiness aur smirk thi jo mujhe uncomfortable kar rahi thi.
Maine ghabra kar Raj ki taraf dekha, par unka dhyaan us waqt kisi aur se baat karne mein tha. Woh kafi relaxed lag rahe they. Main soch rahi thi ki jaane woh kaisa mehsoos karenge agar kabhi unhone notice kiya ki koi meri taraf is tarah dekh raha hai? Kya woh mujhe protect karenge, ya phir unhe farak bhi nahi padega?
"Kaisa laga?" Nikhil ne thoda aage jhukte hue poocha. Uski aawaz mein ek ajeeb sa playful flirty tone tha.
"Achha hai," maine bas itna hi kaha aur apni nazrein jhuka li. Main usse nazrein nahi milana chahti thi.
Raj ne bhi ek bite meri taraf bada di, jaane kyun par woh bite lene mein mujhe itni hichak nahi hui. Sab log mujhe bhi Raj ko khilane ke liye bol rahe they. Maine apni plate se dheere se spoon uthayi aur usme thode se chhole chawal lete hue Raj ke saamne kar diye. Raj ne meri aankhon mein dekhte hue woh bite apne muh mein liya. Ek pal ke liye aisa lag raha tha jaise wahan bas hum dono hi hain.
Tabhi table par taaliyon aur logo ke comments fir se aane lage aur maine spoon wapas neeche rakh di.
Dinner khatam hone tak main puri tarah tired ho chuki thi. Raj aur mere aas-paas log abhi bhi baaton mein busy they, par mera dhyaan ab sirf is baat par tha ki kab main ye heels utaarungi aur kab ye tight choli mere seene se hategi.
Raj uth kar Dad aur kisi aur se baat karne lage aur maine dekha ki achanak se mere aas paas ka poora group change ho gaya tha. Saath mein Raj ki mummy aur older auraten baithi thi. Woh log mujhe gaur se analyze kar rahi thi, jaise mere andar koi kami dhoondne ki koshish kar rahi ho.
"Vaise Kanika, tumhara skin tone kafi achha hai," Bua ne meri taraf dekhte hue kaha, "Kaun se beauty products use karti ho."
Raj ki mummy beech mein bol padi, "Bilkul natural hai, main mili hoon na isse bina makeup ke. Saalon se jaanti hu ise, bahut hi pyaari ladki hai."
"Bas ab aisi hi pyaari ladki hamare Nikhil ke liye bhi dhoond lena."
"Nikhil hi kyun! Ab toh saare ke saare sapne dekh rahe hain ki kab ham mare aur unhe doosri shaadi karne ka mauka mile." Chachi ne haste hue Megha ko kohni maari.
"Par har kisi ke kismat mein aisi khoobsurat aur jawan dulhan nahi hoti na," kisi aur aurat ne kaha.
"Na kismat mein aur na aukaat mein."
Mera gala bhar aaya. Unka ye aukaat wala comment mujhe aise feel karwa raha tha jaise mujhe khareeda gaya ho. Mere saamne hote hue woh yeh sab bolne se hichak nahi rahi thi, toh pata nahi mere peeche unhone mujhe kis hadd tak gira diya hoga.
Mere nazrein instinctively Mom ko dhoondne lagi. Woh thodi door khadi kuch ladies se baat kar rahi thi. Kya unhone yeh sab suna tha? Unka chehra... ekdam blank tha. Jaise unhone kuch suna hi nahi. Ya phir... jaan-bujh kar ignore kar rahi thi.
Maine unhe ek baar aur dekha, hoping ki woh meri taraf dekhegi, kuch bolegi, mera saath degi. Par Mom ne apni nazar doosri taraf pher li.
Dad bhi alag khade kisi se baat mein busy they. Aisa lag raha tha unhone mujhe poori tarah akela chhod diya tha.
Raat hote hote logon ki bheed kam hoti gayi, aur aakhir mein sirf hamari family aur Raj aur unki mummy reh gaye they. Dad aur Raj abhi bhi kuch serious sa discussion kar rahe they. Main thakan aur ghabrahat ke beech, jaane-anjaane unke thoda paas ja kar khadi ho gayi. Hall ki sajavat ab utari ja rahi thi, aur wahan ki khamoshi mein unki aawaz saaf sunayi de rahi thi.
"Dekho Raj," Dad ki aawaz mein hichkichahat thi, "Yahan padosi aur rishtedaar... sawal toh uthayenge hi. Kanika ka is tarah rehna aur nikalna, log notice karte hain."
"Main samajhta hoon," Raj ne kafi calm tone mein kaha. "Isi liye maine socha hai ki tum log mere GK wale flat mein move kar jayo. Wahan tum logo ko nahi jaanta, aur Kanika wahan zyada comfortable rahegi."
Dad thoda rukey, "Woh flat... woh toh itna mehnga hai... aise kaise main tumhare flat mein..."
"Koi problem nahi hai," Raj ne unhe beech mein hi kaata. "Main woh flat Kanika ke naam transfer karwa dunga. Toh technically, aap log apne hi ghar mein honge. Koi sawal uthane wala nahi hoga."
Mujhe unki yeh baat sunkar ajeeb sa laga. Ek taraf toh meri privacy ke liye apne ek flat mein rehne ke liye offer kar rahe they, par doosri taraf aaj jo kuch logon ne kaha tha uske baad aur jyada aisa lag raha tha jaise woh meri poori family ko khareedne ki koshish kar rahe hon. It just didn't feel right. Aur Dad... Dad bilkul comfortable lag rahe they is sab se.
Dad ne jaise hi mujhe paas khada dekha, unhone achanak baat rok di aur bina mujhse nazrein milaye wahan se nikal gaye. Unka is tarah katra kar nikal jaana mujhe aur bhi vulnerable mehsoos kara raha tha. Raj meri taraf murey. Unke chehre par abhi bhi woh calm si muskurahat thi.
"How are you? I am sure tired," unhone sahaj hokar poocha.
"Very tired! Itna lamba din tha, aur itne saare log. Pata nahi woh kya-kya bol rahe they. Mujhe nahi lagta main yeh ye natak aur jyada kar payungi," maine apni thakaan aur chidchidahat mein apne mann ki baat bol di.
"Pareshan mat ho," Raj ne dheere se kaha. "Maine mummy se aur tumhare Dad se baat kar li hai. Ab filhaal kafi time tak koi aur function nahi hoga. Main chahta hoon ki pehle tum apne college ka aakhri saal aaram se poora kar lo. Hum tab tak wait karenge."
Mujhe laga shayad thodi rahat milegi, college khatam hone mein abhi 9-10 mahine baaki they, aur yeh mohlat kafi badi lag rahi thi. Par unka agla sentence mujhe wapas reality mein le aaya.
"Lekin is beech, hume apna kaam jaari rakhna hoga. Maine shehar ke best doctors aur specialists ke saath tumhare liye kuch appointments book ki hain. Agla phase thoda mushkil ho sakta hai, par zaroori hai."
Unhone mere kandhe par halka sa haath rakha, par us ek touch mein mein bhi ab poora haq sa tha. "Main abhi 2 hafte ke liye Mumbai ja raha hoon. Jab wapas aaunga, tab hum in appointments ke liye jayenge. Tab tak tension mat lena. And you can call me anytime. Theek hai?"
Maine dheere se haan mein sar hilaya.
Kuch der baad main wapas apne ghar Dad ki car mein jaa rahi thi. Car mein ek ajeeb se chuppi thi, jaise sab log aaj ke is poore drama se buri tarah thak gaye hon.
Maine apni ungli mein pehni hui mehngi si angoothi ko dekha jo bahar se aati lights mein chamak rahi thi. Heels, choli aur push up bra se kahin jyada yeh angoothi bhari lag rahi thi.
Unhe toh main ghar jakar utaar sakti thi, par yeh mujhe baar baar yaad dila rahi thi ki shayad main apni life ka control kho baithi thi.
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