10-02-2026, 08:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2026, 01:18 AM by Celebrorn. Edited 10 times in total. Edited 10 times in total.)
Chapter 5
Main aur Riya cafe ke bahar pahuch gaye they. Hame pahuchne mein 15-20 minute extra lag gaye they.
Mere mann ki ghabrahat badti jaa rahi thi. Kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main kya aur kaise baat karne wali thi. Maine apne kapdo ki taraf gaur kiya - ek loose tshirt aur baggy jeans pehni hui thi, jaise main aksar college mein pehna karti thi taaki kapde mere shareer se na chipke. Aaj toh balki main baaki dino se bhi jyada plain lag rahi thi.
Mann mein achanak se khayal aaya - Woh mujhe aise dekhenge toh kya sochenge?
“Chal… all the best!” Riya ye bolte hue palat kar jaane lagi.
Maine peeche se jhatke se uski tshirt pakad li. “Ruk! Tu kahan jaa rahi hai? Tune mujhe is sab mein fasaya hai, tujhe toh saath aana hi padega.”
"Babe... tu kar legi... main kahan kabab mein haddi banti firungi."
Maine bhadakte hue kaha, "Na toh koi kabab hai aur na hi koi haddi."
"Theek hai! Aur gussa kar le. Ab toh bilkul nahi jayungi."
"Please Riya." Meri awaaz kuch zyada hi desperately nikal gayi. "Main... main akeli nahi jaa sakti andar."
Woh chup ho gayi. Phir usne lambi saans bhari. "Fine. Par main jyada der nahi rukungi. Bas apne aap ko introduce karke, tum logo ki baatein shuru karwa ke, main wahan se nikal lungi. Deal?"
Maine muh banate hue dheere se sar hilaaya. "Deal..."
Riya ne cafe ka darwaza khola aur main uske peeche-peeche andar gayi. Glass door khulte hi AC ki thandi hawa aur coffee ki khushbu ne mere senses ko gher liya.
Cafe college students se bhara hua tha - kuch groups mein aur kuch couples corner tables par baatein karte hue. Ek group toh kafi bada aur loud tha. Maine poore cafe ko scan kiya, dil ki dhadkan tez hoti jaa rahi thi and saare chehre dhundhle se lag rahe they.
Kahan hain woh? Abhi tak nahi aaye kya?
Phir... meri nazar unpar padi. Thoda peeche andar ki taraf baithe hue they. Ek haath mein phone, doosre haath mein coffee cup. Unhone ek black tight fitted shirt pehni hui thi, sleeves thode rolled up. Clean-shaven, well-groomed. Unhe dekh kar aisa lag nahi raha tha ki woh 40 plus ke hain.
Unki nazar phone par thi par... kuch seconds mein unhone upar dekha. Seedha meri taraf muskurate hue. Mere pairo ne kaam karna band kar diya aur main wahin jam gayi.
Riya ne bina unhe dekhe unko muskurate dekh pehchaan liya.
"Woh hain kya?" Riya ne mere kaan mein whisper kiya. "Tune toh kaha tha kafi badi age ke hain, par yeh toh..."
"Chup!" Maine use jaldi se chup karaya. Mera poora chehra garam hote hue laal padta jaa raha tha.
Raj ne hamari taraf dekhte hue haath hilaaya aur khade ho gaye.
Riya mera haath pakadte hue mujhe literally aage dhakelne lagi. "Chal, aise hi khadi rahegi kya!"
Kisi tarah se mere pair chalne lage. Ek step, phir doosra, phir teesra. Har step ke saath mere dil ki dhadkan tez hoti jaa rahi thi. Paas pahuchte pahuchte phir se unke kafi lambe hone ka ehsaas hua. Unki nazrein mujh par tiki hui thi.
"Kanika!" Wohi phone wali gehri aawaz. "I am so glad tum aa paayi."
Maine ghabra kar aas-paas dekha, unhone "Kanika" itni sahajta se bola tha jaise unhe farq hi nahi padta ki aas-paas ke log mujhe ek ladke ke roop mein dekh rahe hain.
"H.. Hi..." Mujhe khud apni aawaz sunayi nahi de rahi thi.
Woh Riya ki taraf dekhte hue muskuraye, "And you must be... Riya! Right? Phone par Kanika ko instructions dete hue."
Riya unki baat sunkar thoda blush hui, "Aapko woh sab sunai de raha tha kya?"
"Aur kya! Abhi itne bhi kharaab nahi hue hain mere kaan." Unhone smile di. "I am Raj... I am sure you already know."
Unhone Riya ki taraf haath badaya aur Riya ne turant, bina kisi hesitation ke, confidently unse haath mila liya. Main toh aisa kabhi nahi kar paati.
"Please baitho..." Raj ne hum dono ko baithne ka ishaara kiya.
Main nervous hote hue booth ki soft cushion wali seat par baith gayi, yeh tak bhool kar ki Riya ko bhi baithna hai. Usne mujhe apni hips se push kiya aur andar slide karwa diya, khud bahar ki taraf baith gayi, effectively mujhe trap karte hue.
Maine use ghoor kar dekha, par usne mujhe sirf ek halki si smile di.
Raj bhi saamne slide karke baith gaye, seedha mere saamne. Mera gala jakda hua sa mehsoos ho raha tha.
"Coffee? Ya kuch aur?" Raj ne poocha.
"Cold coffee," Riya ne jaldi se kaha. Phir usne meri taraf dekha. "Aur tere liye bhi same na?"
Maine sar hilaaya. Bolne ki himmat nahi thi par achha bhi lag raha tha ki woh mere liye bol rahi thi.
Raj ne waiter ko signal diya aur order de diya. Phir unhone apne saamne rakhe coffee cup ko uthaya aur ek sip li. Meri nazar unke haathon ki taraf gayi. Bade, strong haath jin par halki-halki veins dikhai de rahi thi, lambi fingers, wrist par ek sporty watch.
Maine jaldi se apni nazar doosri taraf kar li, main kyun notice kar rahi thi yeh sab?
"Tumhe yahaan aane mein dikkat toh nahi hui?" Unhone poocha.
"N-nahi. Yahan se paas hi hai college." Is baar meri aawaz Riya ke bolne se pehle nikli, par abhi bhi kafi dheemi.
"Good." Unhone smile di. "Phone par tum thodi... nervous lag rahi thi. Toh main thoda unsure tha ki yeh jagah sahi hai ya nahi."
Mere gaal phir se garam mehsoos hone lage. "Woh... main bas..."
"It's okay." Unki awaaz soft thi. "Main samajh sakta hoon."
Kuch seconds ke liye table par ek uncomfortable sa silence chhaa gaya. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha main aage kya bolun, aur Riya ke saamne Raj kuch bolenge bhi ya nahi, yeh bhi pata nahi tha.
Riya ne achanak apne phone par dekhte hue zor se kaha. "Oh shit!"
Main aur Raj dono ne uski taraf dekha.
"Kya hua?" Maine poocha.
"Mujhe... mujhe Mom ne text kiya hai. Emergency hai." Usne apna bag uthaya. "Mujhe abhi nikalna padega."
"Kya?! Par tu..." Main panic mein uthne lagi, par Riya ne mere kandhe par zor se dabaya, mujhe wapas seat par bithate hue. Maine use ghoor kar dekha. Emergency? Yeah right. Par main use rok bhi nahi paayi.
"Sorry yaar!" Woh already booth se bahar nikal chuki thi. "Par don't worry, tum log baat karo. Main... main baad mein text karti hoon."
"Riya!" Mere muh se desperately uska naam nikla.
Par woh already cafe se bahar nikal chuki thi. Ekdam tezi se. Us bitch ne mujhe yahan akele chhod diya. Gussa aa raha tha us par. Maine nervously Raj ki taraf dekha. Woh patiently meri taraf hi dekh rahe they. Mere pet mein phir se ek marod si uthi.
Main apne haathon ko apne lap mein rakh kar dekh rahi thi, fingers nervously ek doosre ke saath khel rahi thi.
Raj ne chuppi ko todte hue kaha, "Tumhari friend... kafi unique personality hai." Unki awaaz mein ek halka sa mazak tha.
"Haan... woh... woh thodi extra hai," maine kaha, phir turant regret kiya. Extra? Kanika, yeh kya bol rahi hai?
Raj halke se hase, "Jo bhi hai... achhi friend hai. I like her."
Jab unhone yeh kaha, toh pata nahi kyun ek jealousy si feel hui. What does he like about her? Uski looks? Personality? Confidence?
Itne mein waiter coffee le aaya, ek meri aur ek Riya ki. Main apni cold coffee ke straw ko dekhte hue halke se ghumane lagi, bas kuch bhi karne ke liye. Bas Raj ki taraf dekhne se bachne ke liye.
"Kanika."
Unke mera naam lete hi meri nazrein turant neeche ho gayi.
"Meri taraf dekho."
Maine dheere se apni nazrein uthayi aur unki taraf dekha. Unki gehri bhoori aankhen seedhe meri taraf dekh rahi thi. Jaise mujhe mein kuch dhoond rahi ho.
"Tumhe yahaan aane ki zaroorat nahi thi," unhone kaha. "Agar tum uncomfortable the, toh tum mana kar sakti thi."
"Main... main comfortable hoon," maine jaldi se kaha.
"Sach?"
Main chup ho gayi.
"Aaj tum alag lag rahi ho."
Chalo, finally. Ab shayad woh bolne wale they ki main aaj ladki nahi lag rahi hoon, aur ye sab ek galti thi.
"Haan... main aisi hi dikhti hoon bahar sabke saamne."
"Nahi, mera woh matlab nahi tha. Us din bhi tum nervous thi, par phir bhi tumhari aankhon mein kuch alag tha, ek relief jaise. Jaise tum actually khud thi us din. Aur aaj tumhe koi aur banna pad raha hai."
Koi mujhse itni kam baar mile mere mann mein chhupi itni gehri baat ko kaise jaan sakta tha. Yeh baat toh shayad main khud bhi nahi samajh paayi thi ki asli natak toh main har din karti thi, khud ko chhupate hue.
"Yeh mera observation hai," Raj ne softly kaha, "ya main galat hoon?"
"Nahi," maine whisper karte hue admit kiya. "Aap... aap galat nahi hain. Itna aasan nahi hai... woh banna jo main chahti hoon."
Raj halke se muskuraye, "Nahi, bilkul nahi. Shayad main kabhi na samajh payu tum kaisa feel karti ho. Main bas yeh chahta hoon ki tum roz aise hi apne aap se comfortable mehsoos karo."
"Par kyun?" Mere muh se achanak nikal gaya. "Aap... aap mujhe jaante bhi nahi. Phir bhi aap... kyun?"
Raj ne apne coffee ke cup par ungli ferte hue kaha, "Pehle toh, kyunki main help kar sakta hoon. Financially, practically. Aur agar main kisi ki help kar sakta hoon, toh... kyun nahi?"
Maine wait kiya, woh kuch aur bolne wale they.
"Par agar main completely honest hoon toh... mujhe tumhare saath ek connection sa mehsoos hota hai... jaise hum ek doosre ko samajh sakte hain. Ananya ke jaane ke baad main kafi saari ladkiyon se mila hoon. Par jaane kyun, main bas tumhare baare mein sochta rehta hoon."
Meri saans atak gayi thi aur gaal gehre laal ho gaye they.
"Tumhare saath," unhone continue kiya, "aisa lagta hai mujhe koi dikhawa ya natak karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Bilkul tumhari tarah."
"Aur agar..." Maine thodi sakht aawaz mein kehne ki koshish kari. "Agar main... agar main kabhi aapke liye woh feel na karun?"
Raj ne kuch seconds tak mujhe dekha. Phir unhone halki smile di.
"Toh bhi theek hai." unhone peeche lean karte hue kaha. "Actually I totally understand."
Mere chehre par confusion saaf thi.
Raj ne explain karte hue kaha, "Tum abhi young ho. Tumne abhi khud ko explore bhi nahi kiya hai properly. Tumhe nahi pata ki tum kaun ho, kya chahti ho, kis tarah ki relationships tumhe suit karti hain. Aur upar se... main..."
Raj kuch second ke liye ruk gaye par main samajh gayi thi woh kya kehna chahte hai.
"Shayad kafi unfair tha yeh expect karna ki tum bhi mujhe usi open nazar se dekho, jisse main tumhe dekh raha hoon. Yeh tumhara poora haq hai. Par main phir bhi tumhari help karna chahunga."
Unki baat sun kar thodi rahat si mehsoos hui, par phir saath hi mein guilt bhi. Woh mujhse itni achhe se behave kar rahe they, bina kisi expectation ke help karne ko tayyar they, aur main... main unhe woh feelings wapas nahi de sakti jo shayad woh chahte they.
Main apni cold coffee ka straw nervously ghumate hue soch rahi thi. Agar woh meri help karna bhi chahe toh ye sab kaise work karega. Kitne saare obstacle they, aur un sab mein sabse bada ek. "Par... Dad..."
Raj ne thoughtfully sar hilaaya, jaise unhone pehle se hi yeh sab soch rakha ho. "Haan... tumhare papa ko main achhe se jaanta hoon. Unhe sab ko control karna pasand hai."
Maine surprised hokar unki taraf dekha. Kisi ne kabhi Dad ke baare mein aise openly nahi bola tha, kam se kam mujhse toh nahi.
"Haan... agar maine mana kar diya toh... woh mera phone, internet, college sab band kar denge. Ghar se bahar bhi nikalne nahi denge. Phir na toh aap mujhse mil paayenge na meri madad kar paayenge."
"Exactly." Raj ne apni coffee ka last sip liya. "Toh yeh problem hai. Tumhare parents, mainly tumhare papa, kabhi allow nahi karenge ki main tumhe bina kisi 'official' reason ke tumhari help karun."
Mere dil mein ek ajeeb sa feeling aayi. Woh sach bol rahe they.
Raj ne apne haathon ko table par fold karte hue aage jhuke, "Toh... ek solution hai. Par shayad tumhe pasand na aaye."
"Kya?" Maine whisper mein poocha.
"Engagement."
Mera dil dhak se reh gaya. "Kya?"
Raj ne jaldi se apna haath aage badhaya, jaise mujhe reassure karna chahte ho, "Sunno pehle. Main baat kar raha hoon sirf naam ki engagement ki. Ek... arrangement. Tumhare parents ke liye, society ke liye. Par reality mein... sirf ek agreement between us."
Maine confused hokar unhe dekha.
Raj ne explain karna jaari rakha, unki awaaz smooth aur convincing thi, "Soch kar dekho zara. Agar hum officially engaged ho jaate hain, toh tumhare papa ko koi problem nahi hogi kisi cheez se. Tumhe apne saath bahar ghumane le jayu, unhe kya pata chalega ki hum kahan jaa rahe hai. Aur phir tumhare andar jo bhi badlaav ho, unhe usse koi matlab nahi hoga."
Unki baat... actually sense bana rahi thi.
"Aur aap?" Maine hesitantly poocha. "Aapko kya milega is sab se?"
Raj ne halke se smile ki, ek ajeeb si smile jo maine pehle notice nahi ki thi. "Meri mummy khush ho jayegi. Woh mere peeche padi hai shaadi ke liye. Agar engagement ho jaati hai, toh woh bhi shant ho jayegi for a while."
"Par... shaadi?" Mere gale mein words atke hue they.
"Engagement lambi ho sakti hai na," Raj ne casually kaha. "Ek saal, do saal... jitni tumhe zaroorat ho apne transition complete karne ki. Main unhe convince kar lunga. Tab tak tum decide kar logi ki tumhe kya chahiye. Aur agar... agar tum decide karti ho ki yeh nahi chahiye, toh hum engagement tod denge. Simple."
"Engagement todna... itna simple thodi hota hai," maine dheere se kaha.
Raj ne sar hilaaya, par unki eyes mein kuch aur tha, kuch calculated sa. "Tumhare liye nahi hoga. Mummy ko tumhare baare mein sach pata chalega toh woh khud hi rishta tod dengi. Par filhaal tum bas abhi ke baare mein focus karo, aage ka nahi."
Maine apne haathon ki taraf dekha. Ofcourse, unki mummy mera sach jaante hi rishta tod dengi, main yeh rishta kabhi bhi tod sakti thi. Yeh... yeh sab bahut achha sa sound kar raha tha. Itna aasan, too good to be true.
"Par yeh... yeh toh ek natak hoga. Jhoot."
"Haan," Raj ne admit kiya, leaning back. "Par tumhari poori zindagi bhi toh ek natak hai na abhi? Har roz college jaana as someone you're not. Ghar par chupna. Yeh natak toh kam se kam tumhe freedom dega. Real freedom."
Unki baat mein sachayi thi. Aur woh itni smoothly bol rahe they ki mujhe lag hi nahi raha tha ki isme kuch galat bhi ho sakta hai.
"Soch kar dekho Kanika," unhone softly kaha, unki awaaz almost hypnotic thi. "Engagement ke baad, main tumhe top ke doctors, specialists ke paas le jayunga. Better hormones, voice training, surgery, jo bhi tum karna chaho. Aur tumhare parents ko kuch shaq bhi nahi hoga kyunki officially tum apne fiance ke saath time spend kar rahi hogi."
Mera mann cheekh cheekh kar keh raha tha ki Kanika soch kya rahi hai, haan bol jaldi se.
"Aur aapko lagta hai... Dad maan jayenge?"
Raj ki hasi chhoot gayi, "Maan jayenge. Woh toh maana baitha hai. Use toh lag raha hai main uski problem ko apna raha hoon."
Yeh sab sunkar mujhe weird feel ho raha tha. Ek taraf yeh perfect solution lag raha tha. Doosri taraf... kuch toh tha jo off lag raha tha. Par main samajh nahi pa rahi thi kya.
"Tumhe aur time chahiye sochne ke liye?" Raj ne poocha.
Raj ne ek lambi saans li, unki smile thodi tight ho gayi. Unke chehre par shayad ab woh patience nahi dikh raha thi jo is meeting ke shuru mein tha.
"Haan... bas... kuch aur time."
"Take your time." Unhone apna dhyaan phone ki taraf kiya, par unki aawaz pehle se thodi sharp thi. "Par yaad rakhna, tumhare papa ne deadline di hai na? Is hafte ke end tak?"
Deadline ka naam sunkar mere mann mein fir se ghabrahat si shuru ho gayi.
Raj ne bill pay karte hue kaha, "Agar tum haan kehti ho, toh hum agle hi hafte ek chhoti si engagement kar sakte hain. Simple, small function. Aur phir... uske baad... tumhari asli journey shuru hogi."
Woh khade ho gaye. Maine bhi nervously khadi ho gayi.
"Jyada mat socho," unhone kaha, muskurate hue. "Sometimes best decisions woh hote hain jo dil se aate hain, dimaag se nahi."
Raj ne mere kandhe par halka sa haath rakha, ek reassuring touch, par main poori tarah kaanp uthi.
"Text karna agar kuch bhi clarify karna ho," unhone kaha, stepping back. "Aur... jo bhi tumhara decision ho, I am there for you."
Hum dono cafe se bahar aaye. Unhone mujhe drop karne ka offer kiya par maine mana kar diya. Main abhi bhi cafe ke bahar khadi thi, dhoop bilkul bright thi, par mera dimaag dhundla sa tha.
Achanak se peeche se Riya ki aawaz aayi, "Kaisa raha."
Maine surprised hote hue palat kar use dekha. Iska matlab woh kahin gayi nahi thi, bas bahar mera intezaar kar rahi thi. "Theek tha... woh unhone... proposal diya hai."
"Shaadi ka proposal? Obviously! Isliye toh tum aayi thi na..."
"Nahi," maine usko interrupt kiya. "Engagement ka. Naam ki. Taaki woh mujhe help kar sake bina Dad ke problem ke."
Riya ki aankhen badi ho gayi. "Wait, what?"
Maine usko poora bataya jaise-jaise hum college ki taraf chal rahe they.
Riya chup ho gayi, sochte hue. Phir boli, "Yeh... actually smart hai. Agar sirf naam ki hai toh..."
"Par kuch off sa lag raha hai... samajh nahi aa raha... jaise sab kuch kafi planned sa ho."
"Tujhe na har cheez mein koi na koi problem hi dikhti hai. Woh itne experienced hai toh unhone sab soch hi liya hoga na. Aur sach batayun toh, woh kahin se 40 plus lagte bhi nahi hain. Agar unse shaadi bhi ho jaaye na toh its not a big deal."
Riya mujhe jhaadte hue boli toh mujhe bilkul achha nahi laga. Woh mujhe pareshaan dekh kar samajh gayi aur usne mera haath pakad liya.
"Chal," Riya ne apni aawaz thodi soft kari. "Tu soch le. Dhyaan se. Aur jo bhi decision le, woh tera hoga. Okay?"
Maine sar hilaaya.
Jab main ghar pahunchi aur apne kamre mein akeli baithi, toh mere dimaag mein woh meeting hi ghoom rahi thi. Par mere dil mein kya tha? Dar? Hope? Ya kuch aur jo main samajh hi nahi pa rahi thi?
Tabhi mere phone par ek message aaya.
Raj ka text tha. "Thanks for meeting today. Whatever you decide, I respect it. But remember, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve to be a woman."
Maine message ko baar baar padha. Woh sahi bol rahe they. Main deserve karti thi yeh sab. Shayad main apna jawab jaanti thi ab, par uska nateeza nahi.
Main aur Riya cafe ke bahar pahuch gaye they. Hame pahuchne mein 15-20 minute extra lag gaye they.
Mere mann ki ghabrahat badti jaa rahi thi. Kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main kya aur kaise baat karne wali thi. Maine apne kapdo ki taraf gaur kiya - ek loose tshirt aur baggy jeans pehni hui thi, jaise main aksar college mein pehna karti thi taaki kapde mere shareer se na chipke. Aaj toh balki main baaki dino se bhi jyada plain lag rahi thi.
Mann mein achanak se khayal aaya - Woh mujhe aise dekhenge toh kya sochenge?
“Chal… all the best!” Riya ye bolte hue palat kar jaane lagi.
Maine peeche se jhatke se uski tshirt pakad li. “Ruk! Tu kahan jaa rahi hai? Tune mujhe is sab mein fasaya hai, tujhe toh saath aana hi padega.”
"Babe... tu kar legi... main kahan kabab mein haddi banti firungi."
Maine bhadakte hue kaha, "Na toh koi kabab hai aur na hi koi haddi."
"Theek hai! Aur gussa kar le. Ab toh bilkul nahi jayungi."
"Please Riya." Meri awaaz kuch zyada hi desperately nikal gayi. "Main... main akeli nahi jaa sakti andar."
Woh chup ho gayi. Phir usne lambi saans bhari. "Fine. Par main jyada der nahi rukungi. Bas apne aap ko introduce karke, tum logo ki baatein shuru karwa ke, main wahan se nikal lungi. Deal?"
Maine muh banate hue dheere se sar hilaaya. "Deal..."
Riya ne cafe ka darwaza khola aur main uske peeche-peeche andar gayi. Glass door khulte hi AC ki thandi hawa aur coffee ki khushbu ne mere senses ko gher liya.
Cafe college students se bhara hua tha - kuch groups mein aur kuch couples corner tables par baatein karte hue. Ek group toh kafi bada aur loud tha. Maine poore cafe ko scan kiya, dil ki dhadkan tez hoti jaa rahi thi and saare chehre dhundhle se lag rahe they.
Kahan hain woh? Abhi tak nahi aaye kya?
Phir... meri nazar unpar padi. Thoda peeche andar ki taraf baithe hue they. Ek haath mein phone, doosre haath mein coffee cup. Unhone ek black tight fitted shirt pehni hui thi, sleeves thode rolled up. Clean-shaven, well-groomed. Unhe dekh kar aisa lag nahi raha tha ki woh 40 plus ke hain.
Unki nazar phone par thi par... kuch seconds mein unhone upar dekha. Seedha meri taraf muskurate hue. Mere pairo ne kaam karna band kar diya aur main wahin jam gayi.
Riya ne bina unhe dekhe unko muskurate dekh pehchaan liya.
"Woh hain kya?" Riya ne mere kaan mein whisper kiya. "Tune toh kaha tha kafi badi age ke hain, par yeh toh..."
"Chup!" Maine use jaldi se chup karaya. Mera poora chehra garam hote hue laal padta jaa raha tha.
Raj ne hamari taraf dekhte hue haath hilaaya aur khade ho gaye.
Riya mera haath pakadte hue mujhe literally aage dhakelne lagi. "Chal, aise hi khadi rahegi kya!"
Kisi tarah se mere pair chalne lage. Ek step, phir doosra, phir teesra. Har step ke saath mere dil ki dhadkan tez hoti jaa rahi thi. Paas pahuchte pahuchte phir se unke kafi lambe hone ka ehsaas hua. Unki nazrein mujh par tiki hui thi.
"Kanika!" Wohi phone wali gehri aawaz. "I am so glad tum aa paayi."
Maine ghabra kar aas-paas dekha, unhone "Kanika" itni sahajta se bola tha jaise unhe farq hi nahi padta ki aas-paas ke log mujhe ek ladke ke roop mein dekh rahe hain.
"H.. Hi..." Mujhe khud apni aawaz sunayi nahi de rahi thi.
Woh Riya ki taraf dekhte hue muskuraye, "And you must be... Riya! Right? Phone par Kanika ko instructions dete hue."
Riya unki baat sunkar thoda blush hui, "Aapko woh sab sunai de raha tha kya?"
"Aur kya! Abhi itne bhi kharaab nahi hue hain mere kaan." Unhone smile di. "I am Raj... I am sure you already know."
Unhone Riya ki taraf haath badaya aur Riya ne turant, bina kisi hesitation ke, confidently unse haath mila liya. Main toh aisa kabhi nahi kar paati.
"Please baitho..." Raj ne hum dono ko baithne ka ishaara kiya.
Main nervous hote hue booth ki soft cushion wali seat par baith gayi, yeh tak bhool kar ki Riya ko bhi baithna hai. Usne mujhe apni hips se push kiya aur andar slide karwa diya, khud bahar ki taraf baith gayi, effectively mujhe trap karte hue.
Maine use ghoor kar dekha, par usne mujhe sirf ek halki si smile di.
Raj bhi saamne slide karke baith gaye, seedha mere saamne. Mera gala jakda hua sa mehsoos ho raha tha.
"Coffee? Ya kuch aur?" Raj ne poocha.
"Cold coffee," Riya ne jaldi se kaha. Phir usne meri taraf dekha. "Aur tere liye bhi same na?"
Maine sar hilaaya. Bolne ki himmat nahi thi par achha bhi lag raha tha ki woh mere liye bol rahi thi.
Raj ne waiter ko signal diya aur order de diya. Phir unhone apne saamne rakhe coffee cup ko uthaya aur ek sip li. Meri nazar unke haathon ki taraf gayi. Bade, strong haath jin par halki-halki veins dikhai de rahi thi, lambi fingers, wrist par ek sporty watch.
Maine jaldi se apni nazar doosri taraf kar li, main kyun notice kar rahi thi yeh sab?
"Tumhe yahaan aane mein dikkat toh nahi hui?" Unhone poocha.
"N-nahi. Yahan se paas hi hai college." Is baar meri aawaz Riya ke bolne se pehle nikli, par abhi bhi kafi dheemi.
"Good." Unhone smile di. "Phone par tum thodi... nervous lag rahi thi. Toh main thoda unsure tha ki yeh jagah sahi hai ya nahi."
Mere gaal phir se garam mehsoos hone lage. "Woh... main bas..."
"It's okay." Unki awaaz soft thi. "Main samajh sakta hoon."
Kuch seconds ke liye table par ek uncomfortable sa silence chhaa gaya. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha main aage kya bolun, aur Riya ke saamne Raj kuch bolenge bhi ya nahi, yeh bhi pata nahi tha.
Riya ne achanak apne phone par dekhte hue zor se kaha. "Oh shit!"
Main aur Raj dono ne uski taraf dekha.
"Kya hua?" Maine poocha.
"Mujhe... mujhe Mom ne text kiya hai. Emergency hai." Usne apna bag uthaya. "Mujhe abhi nikalna padega."
"Kya?! Par tu..." Main panic mein uthne lagi, par Riya ne mere kandhe par zor se dabaya, mujhe wapas seat par bithate hue. Maine use ghoor kar dekha. Emergency? Yeah right. Par main use rok bhi nahi paayi.
"Sorry yaar!" Woh already booth se bahar nikal chuki thi. "Par don't worry, tum log baat karo. Main... main baad mein text karti hoon."
"Riya!" Mere muh se desperately uska naam nikla.
Par woh already cafe se bahar nikal chuki thi. Ekdam tezi se. Us bitch ne mujhe yahan akele chhod diya. Gussa aa raha tha us par. Maine nervously Raj ki taraf dekha. Woh patiently meri taraf hi dekh rahe they. Mere pet mein phir se ek marod si uthi.
Main apne haathon ko apne lap mein rakh kar dekh rahi thi, fingers nervously ek doosre ke saath khel rahi thi.
Raj ne chuppi ko todte hue kaha, "Tumhari friend... kafi unique personality hai." Unki awaaz mein ek halka sa mazak tha.
"Haan... woh... woh thodi extra hai," maine kaha, phir turant regret kiya. Extra? Kanika, yeh kya bol rahi hai?
Raj halke se hase, "Jo bhi hai... achhi friend hai. I like her."
Jab unhone yeh kaha, toh pata nahi kyun ek jealousy si feel hui. What does he like about her? Uski looks? Personality? Confidence?
Itne mein waiter coffee le aaya, ek meri aur ek Riya ki. Main apni cold coffee ke straw ko dekhte hue halke se ghumane lagi, bas kuch bhi karne ke liye. Bas Raj ki taraf dekhne se bachne ke liye.
"Kanika."
Unke mera naam lete hi meri nazrein turant neeche ho gayi.
"Meri taraf dekho."
Maine dheere se apni nazrein uthayi aur unki taraf dekha. Unki gehri bhoori aankhen seedhe meri taraf dekh rahi thi. Jaise mujhe mein kuch dhoond rahi ho.
"Tumhe yahaan aane ki zaroorat nahi thi," unhone kaha. "Agar tum uncomfortable the, toh tum mana kar sakti thi."
"Main... main comfortable hoon," maine jaldi se kaha.
"Sach?"
Main chup ho gayi.
"Aaj tum alag lag rahi ho."
Chalo, finally. Ab shayad woh bolne wale they ki main aaj ladki nahi lag rahi hoon, aur ye sab ek galti thi.
"Haan... main aisi hi dikhti hoon bahar sabke saamne."
"Nahi, mera woh matlab nahi tha. Us din bhi tum nervous thi, par phir bhi tumhari aankhon mein kuch alag tha, ek relief jaise. Jaise tum actually khud thi us din. Aur aaj tumhe koi aur banna pad raha hai."
Koi mujhse itni kam baar mile mere mann mein chhupi itni gehri baat ko kaise jaan sakta tha. Yeh baat toh shayad main khud bhi nahi samajh paayi thi ki asli natak toh main har din karti thi, khud ko chhupate hue.
"Yeh mera observation hai," Raj ne softly kaha, "ya main galat hoon?"
"Nahi," maine whisper karte hue admit kiya. "Aap... aap galat nahi hain. Itna aasan nahi hai... woh banna jo main chahti hoon."
Raj halke se muskuraye, "Nahi, bilkul nahi. Shayad main kabhi na samajh payu tum kaisa feel karti ho. Main bas yeh chahta hoon ki tum roz aise hi apne aap se comfortable mehsoos karo."
"Par kyun?" Mere muh se achanak nikal gaya. "Aap... aap mujhe jaante bhi nahi. Phir bhi aap... kyun?"
Raj ne apne coffee ke cup par ungli ferte hue kaha, "Pehle toh, kyunki main help kar sakta hoon. Financially, practically. Aur agar main kisi ki help kar sakta hoon, toh... kyun nahi?"
Maine wait kiya, woh kuch aur bolne wale they.
"Par agar main completely honest hoon toh... mujhe tumhare saath ek connection sa mehsoos hota hai... jaise hum ek doosre ko samajh sakte hain. Ananya ke jaane ke baad main kafi saari ladkiyon se mila hoon. Par jaane kyun, main bas tumhare baare mein sochta rehta hoon."
Meri saans atak gayi thi aur gaal gehre laal ho gaye they.
"Tumhare saath," unhone continue kiya, "aisa lagta hai mujhe koi dikhawa ya natak karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Bilkul tumhari tarah."
"Aur agar..." Maine thodi sakht aawaz mein kehne ki koshish kari. "Agar main... agar main kabhi aapke liye woh feel na karun?"
Raj ne kuch seconds tak mujhe dekha. Phir unhone halki smile di.
"Toh bhi theek hai." unhone peeche lean karte hue kaha. "Actually I totally understand."
Mere chehre par confusion saaf thi.
Raj ne explain karte hue kaha, "Tum abhi young ho. Tumne abhi khud ko explore bhi nahi kiya hai properly. Tumhe nahi pata ki tum kaun ho, kya chahti ho, kis tarah ki relationships tumhe suit karti hain. Aur upar se... main..."
Raj kuch second ke liye ruk gaye par main samajh gayi thi woh kya kehna chahte hai.
"Shayad kafi unfair tha yeh expect karna ki tum bhi mujhe usi open nazar se dekho, jisse main tumhe dekh raha hoon. Yeh tumhara poora haq hai. Par main phir bhi tumhari help karna chahunga."
Unki baat sun kar thodi rahat si mehsoos hui, par phir saath hi mein guilt bhi. Woh mujhse itni achhe se behave kar rahe they, bina kisi expectation ke help karne ko tayyar they, aur main... main unhe woh feelings wapas nahi de sakti jo shayad woh chahte they.
Main apni cold coffee ka straw nervously ghumate hue soch rahi thi. Agar woh meri help karna bhi chahe toh ye sab kaise work karega. Kitne saare obstacle they, aur un sab mein sabse bada ek. "Par... Dad..."
Raj ne thoughtfully sar hilaaya, jaise unhone pehle se hi yeh sab soch rakha ho. "Haan... tumhare papa ko main achhe se jaanta hoon. Unhe sab ko control karna pasand hai."
Maine surprised hokar unki taraf dekha. Kisi ne kabhi Dad ke baare mein aise openly nahi bola tha, kam se kam mujhse toh nahi.
"Haan... agar maine mana kar diya toh... woh mera phone, internet, college sab band kar denge. Ghar se bahar bhi nikalne nahi denge. Phir na toh aap mujhse mil paayenge na meri madad kar paayenge."
"Exactly." Raj ne apni coffee ka last sip liya. "Toh yeh problem hai. Tumhare parents, mainly tumhare papa, kabhi allow nahi karenge ki main tumhe bina kisi 'official' reason ke tumhari help karun."
Mere dil mein ek ajeeb sa feeling aayi. Woh sach bol rahe they.
Raj ne apne haathon ko table par fold karte hue aage jhuke, "Toh... ek solution hai. Par shayad tumhe pasand na aaye."
"Kya?" Maine whisper mein poocha.
"Engagement."
Mera dil dhak se reh gaya. "Kya?"
Raj ne jaldi se apna haath aage badhaya, jaise mujhe reassure karna chahte ho, "Sunno pehle. Main baat kar raha hoon sirf naam ki engagement ki. Ek... arrangement. Tumhare parents ke liye, society ke liye. Par reality mein... sirf ek agreement between us."
Maine confused hokar unhe dekha.
Raj ne explain karna jaari rakha, unki awaaz smooth aur convincing thi, "Soch kar dekho zara. Agar hum officially engaged ho jaate hain, toh tumhare papa ko koi problem nahi hogi kisi cheez se. Tumhe apne saath bahar ghumane le jayu, unhe kya pata chalega ki hum kahan jaa rahe hai. Aur phir tumhare andar jo bhi badlaav ho, unhe usse koi matlab nahi hoga."
Unki baat... actually sense bana rahi thi.
"Aur aap?" Maine hesitantly poocha. "Aapko kya milega is sab se?"
Raj ne halke se smile ki, ek ajeeb si smile jo maine pehle notice nahi ki thi. "Meri mummy khush ho jayegi. Woh mere peeche padi hai shaadi ke liye. Agar engagement ho jaati hai, toh woh bhi shant ho jayegi for a while."
"Par... shaadi?" Mere gale mein words atke hue they.
"Engagement lambi ho sakti hai na," Raj ne casually kaha. "Ek saal, do saal... jitni tumhe zaroorat ho apne transition complete karne ki. Main unhe convince kar lunga. Tab tak tum decide kar logi ki tumhe kya chahiye. Aur agar... agar tum decide karti ho ki yeh nahi chahiye, toh hum engagement tod denge. Simple."
"Engagement todna... itna simple thodi hota hai," maine dheere se kaha.
Raj ne sar hilaaya, par unki eyes mein kuch aur tha, kuch calculated sa. "Tumhare liye nahi hoga. Mummy ko tumhare baare mein sach pata chalega toh woh khud hi rishta tod dengi. Par filhaal tum bas abhi ke baare mein focus karo, aage ka nahi."
Maine apne haathon ki taraf dekha. Ofcourse, unki mummy mera sach jaante hi rishta tod dengi, main yeh rishta kabhi bhi tod sakti thi. Yeh... yeh sab bahut achha sa sound kar raha tha. Itna aasan, too good to be true.
"Par yeh... yeh toh ek natak hoga. Jhoot."
"Haan," Raj ne admit kiya, leaning back. "Par tumhari poori zindagi bhi toh ek natak hai na abhi? Har roz college jaana as someone you're not. Ghar par chupna. Yeh natak toh kam se kam tumhe freedom dega. Real freedom."
Unki baat mein sachayi thi. Aur woh itni smoothly bol rahe they ki mujhe lag hi nahi raha tha ki isme kuch galat bhi ho sakta hai.
"Soch kar dekho Kanika," unhone softly kaha, unki awaaz almost hypnotic thi. "Engagement ke baad, main tumhe top ke doctors, specialists ke paas le jayunga. Better hormones, voice training, surgery, jo bhi tum karna chaho. Aur tumhare parents ko kuch shaq bhi nahi hoga kyunki officially tum apne fiance ke saath time spend kar rahi hogi."
Mera mann cheekh cheekh kar keh raha tha ki Kanika soch kya rahi hai, haan bol jaldi se.
"Aur aapko lagta hai... Dad maan jayenge?"
Raj ki hasi chhoot gayi, "Maan jayenge. Woh toh maana baitha hai. Use toh lag raha hai main uski problem ko apna raha hoon."
Yeh sab sunkar mujhe weird feel ho raha tha. Ek taraf yeh perfect solution lag raha tha. Doosri taraf... kuch toh tha jo off lag raha tha. Par main samajh nahi pa rahi thi kya.
"Tumhe aur time chahiye sochne ke liye?" Raj ne poocha.
Raj ne ek lambi saans li, unki smile thodi tight ho gayi. Unke chehre par shayad ab woh patience nahi dikh raha thi jo is meeting ke shuru mein tha.
"Haan... bas... kuch aur time."
"Take your time." Unhone apna dhyaan phone ki taraf kiya, par unki aawaz pehle se thodi sharp thi. "Par yaad rakhna, tumhare papa ne deadline di hai na? Is hafte ke end tak?"
Deadline ka naam sunkar mere mann mein fir se ghabrahat si shuru ho gayi.
Raj ne bill pay karte hue kaha, "Agar tum haan kehti ho, toh hum agle hi hafte ek chhoti si engagement kar sakte hain. Simple, small function. Aur phir... uske baad... tumhari asli journey shuru hogi."
Woh khade ho gaye. Maine bhi nervously khadi ho gayi.
"Jyada mat socho," unhone kaha, muskurate hue. "Sometimes best decisions woh hote hain jo dil se aate hain, dimaag se nahi."
Raj ne mere kandhe par halka sa haath rakha, ek reassuring touch, par main poori tarah kaanp uthi.
"Text karna agar kuch bhi clarify karna ho," unhone kaha, stepping back. "Aur... jo bhi tumhara decision ho, I am there for you."
Hum dono cafe se bahar aaye. Unhone mujhe drop karne ka offer kiya par maine mana kar diya. Main abhi bhi cafe ke bahar khadi thi, dhoop bilkul bright thi, par mera dimaag dhundla sa tha.
Achanak se peeche se Riya ki aawaz aayi, "Kaisa raha."
Maine surprised hote hue palat kar use dekha. Iska matlab woh kahin gayi nahi thi, bas bahar mera intezaar kar rahi thi. "Theek tha... woh unhone... proposal diya hai."
"Shaadi ka proposal? Obviously! Isliye toh tum aayi thi na..."
"Nahi," maine usko interrupt kiya. "Engagement ka. Naam ki. Taaki woh mujhe help kar sake bina Dad ke problem ke."
Riya ki aankhen badi ho gayi. "Wait, what?"
Maine usko poora bataya jaise-jaise hum college ki taraf chal rahe they.
Riya chup ho gayi, sochte hue. Phir boli, "Yeh... actually smart hai. Agar sirf naam ki hai toh..."
"Par kuch off sa lag raha hai... samajh nahi aa raha... jaise sab kuch kafi planned sa ho."
"Tujhe na har cheez mein koi na koi problem hi dikhti hai. Woh itne experienced hai toh unhone sab soch hi liya hoga na. Aur sach batayun toh, woh kahin se 40 plus lagte bhi nahi hain. Agar unse shaadi bhi ho jaaye na toh its not a big deal."
Riya mujhe jhaadte hue boli toh mujhe bilkul achha nahi laga. Woh mujhe pareshaan dekh kar samajh gayi aur usne mera haath pakad liya.
"Chal," Riya ne apni aawaz thodi soft kari. "Tu soch le. Dhyaan se. Aur jo bhi decision le, woh tera hoga. Okay?"
Maine sar hilaaya.
Jab main ghar pahunchi aur apne kamre mein akeli baithi, toh mere dimaag mein woh meeting hi ghoom rahi thi. Par mere dil mein kya tha? Dar? Hope? Ya kuch aur jo main samajh hi nahi pa rahi thi?
Tabhi mere phone par ek message aaya.
Raj ka text tha. "Thanks for meeting today. Whatever you decide, I respect it. But remember, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve to be a woman."
Maine message ko baar baar padha. Woh sahi bol rahe they. Main deserve karti thi yeh sab. Shayad main apna jawab jaanti thi ab, par uska nateeza nahi.
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