[Deepak.kapoor]

Karim Ki Kothri

Yeh drishya us kaali raat ka hai, jab kothri ki deewaron ke beech Karim ki hawas apne ufaan par thi. Woh apni khatiya par nanga leta tha, aankhon mein neend ka namonishan nahi tha, bas ek nasha tha—Anita ke badan ka nasha.

Uska haath apni mardanagi par tha, jo kisi khoonkhaar jaanwar ki tarah phadak rahi thi. Woh baar-baar band aankhon se un drishyon ko dohra raha tha jo usne darwaze ki daraar se dekhe the.

Karim: (Haanfte huye, ek bhaari siskari bharte huye) "Arre mor maiya... saala, aaj to kaleja munh ko aa gaya! Ee ka dekh liya humne? Memsahab... nahi, u to saakshaat jannat ki apsara nikalin. Aaj tak to bas saree ke pallu se jhaankti unki kamar dekh ke hi humra imaan dol jata tha, par aaj... aaj to sab ughad gaya."

Karim ne apni mutthi ko apne 10 inch ke kaale ang par aur mazbooti se bheencha. Uski saansein tez ho gayin jaise woh phir se us bedroom mein pahunch gaya ho.

Karim: "Ui maa! U unke chuche... kasam khuda ki, sahab jab unhein apne munh mein bhar rahe the, to humri jaan hi nikal gayi. Safed sangmarmar jaise gore aur bhaari... aur u un par tane huye surkh laal nipple! Jaise doodh ke katore mein do Kashmiri mirch rakh di hon. Mann karta tha ki daraar cheer ke bhitar ghus jaoon aur sahab ke munh se chheen ke khud unhein kuchal doon. Saala, itna gora maans to humne poori umar mein nahi dekha. Aur u jab sahab unhein masal rahe the, to kaise memsahab ka poora badan machhli ki tarah phadak raha tha."

Woh khatiya par karwat badalta hai, paseene ki boondein uske chaude seene par chamak rahi hain.

Karim: "Aur u unka pet... haye daiya! Saree ke neeche u jo makhmali khazana chhupa rehta tha, aaj uska deedar hua. Ekdam sapaat aur resham jaisa chikna pet... aur u beech mein bani unki naabhi! Saala, ee dhunni hai ki saakshaat shahad ka kuan? Hum to dekh rahe the ki kaise sahab apni jeebh uske bhitar daal rahe the. Humra to jee kar raha tha ki apni naak us naabhi mein ragad doon aur memsahab ki us bheeni-bheeni khushbu ko apni ragon mein utaar loon. Memsahab ka u pet jab thapedon se hil raha tha, to saala humra je kaaliya lungi phaadne ko betaab tha."
Karim ka haath ab uske auzar par pagalon ki tarah chalne laga. Uski awaaz ab aur bhi hinsak ho gayi thi.

Karim: "Aur sabse bada kehar to tab toota jab memsahab ne u sahara liya aur sahab ne unhein peeche se jhukaya. Arre baap re! U unki gaand... saala, u koi sharir ka hissa nahi, poora ka poora qayamat ka manzar tha! Itni bhaari, itni gol aur itni chikni... jaise kisi ne malai ke do pahaad jod diye hon. Jab sahab ke thapede un gore nitambon par pad rahe the, aur u 'chataak-chataak' ki awaaz aa rahi thi, to saala humra khoon khaul utha. Aaine mein u unki jaanghon ke beech ki gulaabi daraar... u unki yoni... ufff! Saala ekdam taazi kali jaisi lag rahi thi, jo sahab ke lauda ke liye paani chhod rahi thi."

Karim ne apni aankhein zor se meench lin, use Anita ki ve cheekhein yaad aayin jinhon mein uska naam pukara ja raha tha.

Karim: "Anita bitiya... tum pukaar rahi thin 'Karim-Karim'... tumhe ka pata tha ki asli Karim bahar khada apni kismat pe ro raha hai? Sahab ka 7 inch ka khilona to bas rasta bana raha tha, par jab ee 10 inch ka asli musal tumhare bhitar jayega, tab tumhe asli Karim ka zor pata chalega. Saala, sahab ka to bachha lag raha tha humri is laathi ke aage. Motai dekh rahe ho? Ee jab memsahab ki antadiyon ko chhuvega, tab u sachmuch ki 'maiya-maiya' chillayengi."

Kothri mein sannata tha, par Karim ke dimaag mein kal ke plan ka shor tha.

Karim: "Kal... kal jab sahab daftar nikal jayenge, tab ee kothri ka sher us mahal mein ghusega. Memsahab, ab tum humse aankhein nahi chura paogi. Tumne aaine mein humein dekh liya hai, aur hum jaan gaye hain ki tumhe 'Karim' naam pukaarne mein kitna maza aata hai. Kal jab hum chai leke jayenge, to koi parda nahi rahega. Tumhari un lambi aur makhmali jaanghon ko hum apni baahon mein jakadenge aur tumhe batayenge ki jis naam ko tum hawas mein le rahi thin, u naam wala mard kitna khoonkhaar hai."

Karim: (Ek gehri aur kaamuk muskan ke saath) "Kal tumhari u gulaabi gufa ko ee Karim poori tarah tahas-nahas kar dega. Ek-ek kona chaatenge... ek-ek inch naapenge. Tumhari u bhaari gaand ko jab hum apne haathon se masalenge, tab tumhe pata chalega ki asli 'seva' ka maza kya hota hai. Kal subah ka sooraj tumhari barbaadi aur humri aazaadi leke aayega, malkin. Kal koi natak nahi... kal to bas 10 inch ka asli dhachka lagega!"

Karim ne ek aakhri jhatka diya aur uska gaadha safed ras uski kothri ke farsh par bikhar gaya. Woh haanfte huye khatiya par gir pada, par uski aankhein abhi bhi kal subah ke us manzar ko dekh rahi thin jahan Anita uske neeche dabi hogi.