07-11-2025, 11:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2025, 11:18 PM by Demeter. Edited 2 times in total. Edited 2 times in total.)
Nadir's Narration
After my coming back from my medical meeting abroad, right at the airport a word concerned me… a simple word: ‘relieved‘!
On Friday afternoon Meena took me from airport at 6pm.
"Oh Nadir, I love you... I'm so relieved that you're back," she said as she kissed me for the third time after my arrival.
‘She is so nice to me today, has she discovered new feelings of love for me?‘ I thought, and then ‘relieved?' Why relieved?...
I would have expected the word ‘happy‘, like I'm so happy that you’re back but ‘relieved‘?!
What was going on here?
My logical reaction to this explanation was to ask her immediately. I asked if there had been any problems?
She answered immediately but with a certain reserve and even confusion, "no, no… Everything okay".
* * *
Afterward at home while dinner we spoke about the meeting and the news from her job.
I asked her about Jalal too, she answered uninterestedly and briefly that she had seen him two times, as she told me on phone, the first day at our home and then when he visited her at work, because of payment, both times shortly.
I had the feeling that she, during conversations, tried not to look into my eyes so often and directly, as always.
* * *
Later, we were both a little tired from the day's exertion and went to bedroom earlier than usual.
When I returned from the bathroom and wanted to lie down, Meena was in bed, lying back on a scrunched-up pillow, looking through some travel magazines.
I enjoyed the view.
Even though we had been married since years, I still enjoyed looking at her.
A beautiful tall brunet, shoulder length brown hair, cut fashionably movie stars style with bangs, she looked some years younger than her true age of 33.
The robe she wore was as sexy as a potato sack, but I could still see the curve of her hot breasts underneath it.
I could also envision her long legs.
I thought about trying to get a real look between them but stopped myself.
She is tired and not in mood today, she told me previously when I tried to start something with her before.
I looked down at myself. Where she was still of body shape just like her early twenties, I'd already developed the class middle aged paunch of a guy whose only exercise was getting out running with her every few months. And only when she absolutely demanded it.
* * *
I slid into bed next to her.
I leaned over to kiss her. I tried for the lips but she moved her head slightly so I planted a kiss on the side of her face.
She smiled absent mindedly at me.
She glanced over at me as if surprised that I'd noticed what she was reading.
She held the magazine out to me. It was 'Country Travel' with the pages turned to, 'The best beaches you've never heard of.'
One of them which she showed me, was in our region.
Not more than a few hours to ride.
"Wow, that is beautiful. What about it, would you like to go there the next weekend, we have a long weekend because of holiday? "
Meena looked at me as if surprised, "That's, sweet, Nadir...but...I had meant to talk to you. I promised Jalal that we would go to his ranch this weekend. He will be very disappointed if we don't,"
"When did this come up? I hadn't heard a word about it." I said irritated.
She looked into my eyes and then away with an expression I couldn't place, "I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. He asked me when we met at his place, in his garden. I'd meant to mention it, but I kept forgetting. Sorry. I didn't think we had any firm plans. You're always working. And we haven't gone anywhere exotic in a long time."
"And you made him a firm promise? What if I have to or would have to work?" my voice was insulted.
"I know, but he insisted…" Meena answered while trying to avoid my gaze.
I interrupted her, "Then you can go with him alone if you want, I can't promise yet."
She dropped the magazine to her hip, then rolled a little so one big luscious breast bulged out against her robe and said, "I'm sorry Nadir, I pretty much already told him we would take the holidays. But, look, we can take another weekend off and go to the coast I promise I'll leave time so we can g as you wish and when you wish..."
Then she finished patting me on the hand and then picked the magazine back up before it sunk in.
I thought about our sentences and ran them over and over, jumbling them up and trying to figure out about our time today and together at all.
"can I ask you something, Meena? Why today at the airport did you say that you were relieved that I was there?" I asked.
She looked back at me from the magazine with a slightly puzzled expression on her face as if she'd only heard part of what I said, and asked, "What did you say?"
I didn't realize it then, but from the expression that slowly grew on her face I realized a storm cloud must have appeared on mine as I slowly, with great emphasis and the beginnings of real anger, said, "that you were relieved that
I was there. Is there or was there something going on here in these five days I don't know about?" I asked.
An expression consisting of equal parts surprise, embarrassment and what appeared to be shock appeared on her face.
"What are you talking about Nadir? You must have misunderstood what I said." she said.
"No. You said it very clearly and distinctly. 'I am relieved that you are here!' Normally in such situations always you say, 'I missed you, or I'm happy... ' but relieved? Why were you relieved..." I insisted.
She shook her head and tried to look me in the eyes, "I couldn't have said that, Nadir. That's crazy, why should I be relieved? "
"No, just weird. So where did that come from?" I asked.
"I don't – oh. I must have meant for sure I was happy... That's what I meant to say."
"Oh." I replied shortly and quietly.
I rolled it around inside my head and I knew she was lying, 'relieved,' and "happy" aren't close enough to make that kind of mistake! And she hadn't been thinking when she said it.
It had popped out without her thinking about it or apparently even realizing what she was saying.
What was Meena thinking about, I thought, glancing at her beautiful face and realizing she was still focused in with a laser-like stare on my eyes.
She was trying to read me the way I was reading her.
And then I realized with an acidic burn in the pit of my stomach, I didn't like the feeling I had about her at this moment.
I made myself laugh, although it came out as a dry chuckle.
"You're right, babe. Anybody can garble their words. I even do it once in a while. I have to admit, I am too sensitive about what you say…" I tried to make myself laugh again but all that came out was a dry cough.
She searched my eyes intently as if trying to see if I was telling the truth.
She reached over and did something that shocked and scared me a little.
She took my hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it.
Such a simple thing. But I couldn't remember the last time she had ever done it, in such situations..
Even when we were getting ready for sex it was kissing on the lips and her jerking my dick and my licking her luscious pussy until she was wet and ready.
But a simple gesture like kissing the back of my hand.... it was something new lovers did at special moments.
Otherwise, you do that when you are very emotional or when you want to emphasize something or reject someone from something.
If she had looked me in the eye then she would have known something was wrong-But she didn't.
She kept her face tightly against the back of my hand and kissed it again.
Without looking at me, she said, "I'm sorry for saying it that way, Nadir. I am so sorry that I caused you disturbing thoughts. You know I love you. I love you more now than when we married. You are my past, my present and my future. This is crazy. It was just a slip of the tongue, and it didn't mean anything, everything was and is Okay."
But I couldn't take my uncertainty and doubt hat off.
I wondered why she wouldn't look at me when she professed her undying love.
And I found myself listening to and weighing her words, her tone.
And I found my mind weighing her words.
And over and over, my mind went back to the same question…
Of course, a part of me kept telling me this whole train of thought was stupid.
She had just mixed up her words. Tomorrow morning things would be back to normal and in a day or two I'd laugh at my own paranoia.
I wanted to believe that, but everything felt...wrong. It was a simple mistake,
but why had she reacted the way she had?
If it was nothing, she'd simply have laughed it off, went back to her reading and teased me about taking it the wrong way. But she hadn't.
She had acted worried, disturbed and now she was acting in an unusually loving manner.
She let my hand go and put the magazine on the drawer by her side of bed.
She reached up and turned off the nightlight on her side and told me, "Turn the light off, darling."
As I reached over to my right to turn off the light on my side I saw her stand up out of the corner of my eye and I held off turning off the light.
By the time I had rolled back to her the robe had dropped and she was stepping out of her panties.
I watched her beautiful breasts, with the nipples pointing forward that always fascinated me.
But I lost focus on those hot part of her when my eyes drifted down to her pussy.
I couldn't understand what I was looking at first. I found myself looking for the light fuzz that surrounded her vagina, but it was gone. It was as smooth as baby's bottom. Just the pink of her outer lips and a hint of the red interior.
After a minute I realized she had shaved down there.
Gotten rid of all her public hair.
Why, and for whom, I wondered.
I had never suggested it. Not in recent years, anyway.
She looked at me, read the expression on my face, and said with a timid smile, "Do you like it? A lot of the girls at the job, especially the younger, told me this is really hot and men love it."
I just looked at her for a moment, and then I couldn't stop myself from saying, "I bet they do. Have you gotten any compliments?"
She just stared at me until what I'd said sunk in.
Now the tears appeared in her eyes. "How can you say that, Nadir. God, how can you say something that mean...when I did this for you?"
The anger that was percolating inside me was coming out and I couldn't stop it, "And just when were you going to show me your new look, baby? After you finished your magazine? Or tomorrow or next week? When was the last time you did it for me? Or asked if I like it?"
I pretended to think.
"Oh, yeah. Never. So, what's different about tonight. Oh, and how long ago did you shave it?"
She climbed onto the bed on her hands and knees, her breasts dangling down like ripe fruits. She knew that almost made me hard as a rock. She reached out and closed her hand on my cock.
It was already rigid, and I couldn't help release a little groan of pleasure.
"I don't want to fight, Nadir, please… I want you. Inside me. The way it used to be. I'm sorry I've let things slide. I shaved because I wanted to excite you. I wanted you to grab me and throw me down, spread my legs and fuck me the way you used to. We used to love it, remember?"
And I wanted to believe her.
I wanted to believe she had shaved herself for me. I wanted to believe that she had been planning to surprise me with incredibly hot sex out of the blue tonight.
Unfortunately, I couldn't. I grabbed her hand and pulled it off my rock hard cock. It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
She looked at me as if I'd gone crazy, and she probably thought I had.
"Babe, I really don't know what's going through your mind right now. I don't even know if I know you anymore.
One thing I do know. There was no way in hell you were planning on having hot sex with me tonight, baby." I looked at her curiously.
She wasn't crying, just looked stunned.
I turned around and said, "I don't feel like it today, just like you felt an hour ago, now we'd better go to sleep and see what happens tomorrow."
* * *
Saturday when I woke up first, I looked at the wall clock, 7:30 am, it was still too early for a weekend day, I was curled up behind her, pulling her close with one arm while my leg was dbangd over her.
A ray of sunshine knifed through the blinds directly onto my eyelids, disturbing my sleep and waking me to greet the day.
I nuzzled the back of her head, letting her hair tickle my nose as I breathed her in.
Meena moaned softly and wiggled against me, making me smile. Not wanting to disturb her, I gave her a gentle kiss on her neck before quietly slipping out of bed. She rolled over into the spot I had vacated, briefly opening one eye to look up at me.
"What's up?" Meena whispered.
At this moment our conversation and my yesterday's thoughts and questions were back in my head, "I'm awake. I think I'm going to my study; you can continue sleeping, it’s too early."
Meena smiled and said softly, "Okay, baby," she responded as she grabbed my pillow and pulled it against herself, nesting with the intent to sleep longer.
I smiled again as I leaned over and kissed her cheek before grabbing some clothes and leaving the room.
I wanted to go quickly through the recordings of my hidden cameras, There was nothing exciting or important to see in the recordings, Meena's coming and going, and telephone conversations with friends and colleagues that were often too quiet and inaudible.
I thought I had to find a way to make the recording sound stronger.
The only thing that was interesting was the first day of my trip, when Jalal visited Meena and was with her for a short time, even though she wasn't expecting him.
She met him on the ground floor in her bathrobe and as you could see in the film, they were both a bit shocked and Meena was visibly embarrassed.
And after some minutes he left.
Meena was away for a bit longer on Thursday.
She came home from work, took a shower, got dressed and then drove away.
After returning about four hours later, she went into the bedroom and strangely enough took off her beautiful clothes, her skirt and blouse that she really likes, and shoved them not in the laundry basket but under her bed!
But the third case was more interesting, it was recorded on yesterday, Friday, a few hours before my arrival, at about 11:30 am, that Meena, after showering, got dressed and left. But she didn't take her car keys, which always hang next
to the Kitchen door. That meant she drove off with someone else.
I didn’t hear that she calls a taxi.
Then she came back about three hours later and went into the bathroom again.
At first, I tried to calm myself down, maybe she went shopping, but in beautiful, elegant, sexy clothes? Why not by car? And above all, when she came back, she was carrying a small package in her hand, packed in beautiful wrapping paper, which she had put somewhere in the back of her wardrobe, before she undresses and disappears into the bathroom.
Where was she for over three hours?
***
About one hour later, I went back to the bedroom.
Meena was awake and I could hear her washing in the bathroom.
I lay down on my bed again and when she came back, I asked, "Tell me baby, how was your visit to Jalal’s Haus?"
She sat down on the bed next to me and replied, "it was quite nice with him, He has a big house with a house staff, a few of whom are employed by him. The man is Gardner and also responsible for buying, repairing and so on, his wife is for internal work, cooking, cleaning and keeping things tidy... Jalal really lives like a real lord in a small palace and garden, you have to see it, unbelievable, oh beautiful...
His friend is also older but certainly a few years younger, around mid-fifties or even younger. a nice, stocky man, a little shorter but still very tall with a beard, who looks like a lumberjack from the last century," she laughed.
Then I asked her a question that interested me the most, "And in addition to watching the garden and eating dinner, what else did you do?"
"Sitting in his library, talking," Meena answered.
"Just talking?" I asked.
"Yes, it was a long talk with him and his friend. We were three hours or even more talking, and dinking a splendid wine too, " she answered, quickly.
"Did his friend then left?" I asked.
"Yes, he left shortly after dinner, he had to ride to his country ranch," After that
Meena looked a little unsure whether she gave the right answer or whether she said something wrong.
That meant they two, Meena and that old Jalal were at least two hours alone.
After that Meena stood up and while she was going to the door she said, I'm making coffee and left the room to go to the ground floor...
***
Of course, I was wondering if she was telling the truth.
But I couldn't imagine what they had to talk about so long, it didn't seem right.
And of course I was suspicious.
I knew Meena too long not to notice her changed behaviour and mannerisms. But for the moment I was undecided…
That was obvious, Meena and Jalal had done more than have dinner and talk.
They had been together.
Two hours talking? Just two of them? I knew that Jalal is interested in her and I guessed, no, I was sure that he tried to approach her intimately.
But have they been intimate?
Did Meena let him in my absence to approach her and more?
If not, why would she behave so strange?
I thought my suspicions of them had to be borne out, I had to search further and Deeper.
But this desperate situation was too much for me and the more I thought about her behaviour since I was back, I saw it clearly, yes, with intent and purpose Meena was betraying me with this old man!
She played with words; she said she is ‘relieved’ that I am back! Strange, very strange this all!
I was laying on my bed and thinking.
But at the end I came to the conclusion that I may have paranoia! but that didn't give me any peace.
She lied or concealed something? Shit! I thought to myself.
How could I be sure? Then I thought perhaps I could find some hints in her cell phone, and yes, she had left it, at the bedside table, I reached for it and opened it. I knew the password; it was my birthdate.
As I thumbed through the contact list of recent days, I found his name, Noori, twelve times! some were not accepted or answered. But at least seven have gone through.
Realizing that I would have better luck looking at the text messages first, I thumbed the icon and then started looking at some of the texts. Attached to two messages were those pictures!
First there were photos she sent me, but differently captioned ‘dream of me…’ but were sent to Noori!
And his reply was a photo of a man. This is he, Jalal, I thought, and I was sure, even if his face was not to see.
His muscular, hairy chest and belly were hidden under a tank top.
He was standing in his white boxer shorts, but I could see his massive bulge the head of his dick trying to poke out down against the inside of his thigh.
He was abnormally long! probably at least eight inches long and thicker than mine for sure, It was captioned. 'All yours.'
Now the proof is there, now it was borne out!
She did all of that these days just so she could fuck that big old guy, what else? And now seeing it all, I wanted to confront Meena with her shit.
I wanted to get her treachery out on the table.
I thought about the recordings of my hidden cameras.
With the exception of the first harmless day, they were never seen together on film, but they also met away from home, probably at his place more often.
Then I thought about the two strange things in films, that preoccupied me when I looked at them.
I got up and rummaged through her closet and found what I was looking for.
There was a gift, a pink lingerie, very sexy with a handwritten gift note: 'For the most beautiful and sexiest woman in my life that I have ever met, I hope to see you soon while you have them on! Kiss on your hot lips'! Kiss JN’
Okay, everything's clear!
Then I thought of dress that she unusual for her, had left hidden under her bed.
it was still there, her beautiful summer clothes that she loves them!
But surprisingly they were stained and smelled kind of funny.
Then I remembered that she went had these on, the day before yesterday, when she left home for hours.
I came to the conclusion that the stains were semen stains and not something else, because they looked exactly like the ones that sometimes happen to me when I'm careless!
***
When I got downstairs, I found Meena sitting at the kitchen table and drinking coffee and reading a magazine.
"Where have you been so long, baby? " she asked, not raising her head to look directly at me.
I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table across from Meena. And for a couple of minutes neither me nor Meena said a word.
Meena cannot even bring herself to look at me, I thought to myself somehow with rage. Instead, she just stared down into her coffee and her magazine.
But then I broke the silence by asking, "Well Meena, do you want to talk?"
Meena for the first time look briefly into my eyes, and then immediately away again, and asked, "What about, darling?"
"We are not the same as we were a week ago, the day I flew," I said.
"Why are you saying such a thing? I am the same, maybe you are not. Last night showed that you are not the same, you were so weird, your behaviour was weird," Meena argued.
"No, no, no... Meena, I am the one who is the same and you have become someone else. Your behaviour is strange," and continued, “Okay, I’ll ask you something, are you hiding something from me?" I asked while looking directly at her face as if trying to discover something.
“What do you want to say? What do you mean?” She asked in a puzzled and at the same time of a bit uncertain tone.
Her voice was even in the background slightly trembling.
“I mean do you have secrets you want to hide?“ I looked in her eyes.
For a moment I had the feeling that she was sitting there looking at me, like she did not understand me or that she was paralyzed. No word came back, just deep broken breathing sound from her, whether she has difficulty breathing.
“Let me explain, Meena. Over 80% of couples have one of these two kinds of relationships, either they don’t love each other but just live together, in which case they are honest and don’t need to hide anything, that’s normal. Then there are couples who love each other but aren’t honest with each other, Because, for whatever reason, they may be embarrassed and/or don’t want to lose the other person. The remaining 20% concerns two other groups. Main group of these two are those who don’t love each other but are so estranged that they see no reason to let each other know about their activities and feelings. Then there is a small percentage, very small perhaps not more than seven or eight percent, who talk and tell each other everything about feelings, emotions, activities and everything other and love each other infinitely. I always thought we belong to this tiny percentage, Meena. Now you can talk if you want and explain…“
So now Meena just sat silent and waited for the hammer to fall because sheknew what was coming next.
“Do you understand what I say, Meena, Have… You… Been… Faithful to me these past few days?“ I answered with a firm and a little louder but calm voice.
Meena panicked, “I… please, please understand that after your departure, it all got out of control.”
“What got out of control?" I asked.
“Me and Jalal, I mean I lost control, I didn’t mean to, but it just happened, but nothing important happened, Nadir, I swear…" Meena wailed.
“You and Jalal got out of control meaning what?" I calmly asked her.
Meena was shaking visibly and trying to clear the situation, “Okay, okay, okay, I am not going to lie, but we had no sex. There, I said it. It just happened and I am so very sorry that it happened, but things just got out of control." Meena sobbed.
I thought for a moment before I said, “No, Meena, things didn’t get out of control. Things went just the way you intended.”
Meena finally looked up at me and asked, “What do you mean… as I intended?”
“I mean, Meena, I know more than you think. You send him your nude pictures. And you saved the photo of his cock in your cell phone, this is intension, you chatted with him over your cell phone about your nude ass and your tit pictures and the picture of his dick, this was intentional, then you agreed to go out with him and I don’t know how many times you did it and you dressed as sexy as you possibly could for him and you had visited him in his house alone and God knows where else, this in intention and every time you were for hours with him alone and made things out of your control how you formulate them, I can image what they were, this is intension…”
“No! No! No! Not true, not true!" Meena screamed.
“Meena since I left, you left this house every time, with the full intention of having sex with Jalal.”
“No! No! No! That is not true. It’s not…”
I interrupted her, "Meena it is true, and you have fucked up our marriage and Relationship and betrayed my love royally."
"No, I, I haven't fucked up our marriage royally, as you put it. Yes, I made a terrible mistake, and I made a really bad decision. But nothing happened, I had no sex with him, really, please believe me, now, just slow down and stop
accusing me..."
After getting my thoughts together I said to her, "Meena, I don't believe you. I don't believe things got out of control not intentionally and I don't believe that nothing important happened. But what I do believe is that you planned it..."
"No! No! No! I did not plan this, it just happened. Everything just got out of control. You have got to believe me!" Meena cried.
Meena was shaking her head side-to-side indicating no, that what I was saying was not true.
Meena wanted to get away from hearing I accuse her of all the things she had done so she tried to steer the conversation to how much she loved me.
"I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and I know that you know that. We've to get beyond this and move on with our life."
I thought for a couple of moments before I said to her, "No, I can't get beyond this. What you have done to me is far too serious to just walk away from it. Don't you understand what you did to me these last days? You lied to me, and you deceived me and humiliated me!"
"I didn't do that! I didn't do it! I would never do those things to you!" Meena screamed.
"Goddamn Meena, you left my love! You left our love and life to go fuck another man. And you even deceived me into to going along with it!"
Now crying almost uncontrollably, Meena screamed at I, "I never left you. I would never leave you. Never! I just fucked up really bad."
"Meena, Meena, what did you just fucked up?" I asked.
"I… I wanted to prepare him, I sear… I mean I wanted to seduce him for your game, to make him more interested on me for later, when you are there… I…I can't betray you… leave you; how can I betray or leave my life? " She argued
and cried.
I interrupted her, "Listen to me Meena, when you had your hair and nails done just for him, you left me.
When you primped just for him, you left me.
When you dressed up just for him, you left me.
When you let him put his hands on you, you left me.
When you took off your dress for him, you left me.
When you laid down on his bed, you left me.
When you sent your nude pictures to him you left me. And when you let him have you, you left me for good."
"No! No! No! I didn't do that, it happened nothing, please believe me... Everything just got out of control, those pics were for you, and I sent them to the wrong address. You know, I wanted to tell you from the beginning, but then I thought about it because I should not worry you, you were not here…"
"Meena, when I think about it, you packaged yourself for him and then you offered yourself to him. And he took you and made a part of you his own, a part not just in your body but your soul. Don't you understand that a part of you now belongs to him. And, Meena, a part of you will always belong to him..."
That real incensed Meena and she went on the offensive.
She interrupted me, "Nadir, it wasn't like that, we had no sex, and this is not true, I didn’t offer or gave myself to him. Yes, my emotions, my hormones just took control of me some moments and I made a terrible decision sometimes,
but I had no sex with him, I made a mistake,".
"Meena, one moment. First tell me, when you say ‘I had no sex with him, what do you mean? What means sexual relationship for you?" I asked her.
“I mean, we had no… no…" She didn`t find the right words.
"Penetration? he did not penetrate in your cunt? Do you mean this?" I Asked angrily.
"Yes…Yes… No penetration occurred, not even close to…" She said more calmly, but without looking at me.
At this moment slowly I had the feeling that Meena was regaining control over her thoughts and speech.
"Okay Meena, about this we speak later, but secondly you repeat all the time, this shit with mistake, I’ll tell you what a mistake is, when you as a married wife, one night, drink too much alcohol and get drunk and accidentally and unplanned, let a guy fuck you and that just once and one time, then you can talk about mistake. Please let this shit word, mistake, leave it outside.".
"Okay, but I am also a flawed human being. I… please, please, understand that sometime things get out of control." Meena argued.
"What got out of control three or four times in five days?" I calmly asked her.
"Me," She wailed.
"You got out of control meaning what?" I asked.
Meena was squirming in her chair and desperately trying to find a way to escape her situation, "I lost control of me and situation! I didn't mean to, but it just happened!" Meena sobbed.
"I mean, you agreed to go out with him dancing, to his place, in the theatre and God knows where else, you decided touching, kissing, and God knows what else… All these nights. Then you spent the almost entire your free time with him, everyday primping for him, you dressed as sexy as you possibly could and with him, And then..."
"No! No! No! Not true, not true!" Meena screamed.
"Meena, you left this house with the full intention of to be with and perhaps having sex with Jalal. If my meeting had lasted a day or two longer, you would have slept with him too." I screamed.
"No! No! No! That is not true. It's not..." She wailed.
I interrupted her, "Meena it is true, and you have fucked up our marriage and relationship royally."
That real incensed Meena and she went on the offensive.
"No, I, I haven't fucked up our marriage royally, as you put it. Yes, I made a terrible mistake. I got caught up in the excitement of being with Jalal and I lost myself some moments and I made really bad decisions. And nothing happened but some touching and kissing. It will never happen again. But we can get beyond this if you will just slow down and stop accusing me..."
I interrupted her, "For some moments? You lost yourself for some moments? How about for some days!"
"That is not true!" Meena wailed.
"It is true Meena, you left here with him and for him, and you didn't come home until your sleeping time! These are not some moments!"
After getting my thoughts together I said to her, "Meena, I don't believe you. I do not believe things got out of control and I don't believe that it just happened. But what I do believe is that you planned it..."
"No! No! No! I did not plan this, it just happened. Everything just got out of control. You have got to believe me!" Meena cried.
"Meena, I don't believe you. I believe when you left here with Jalal you knew where you were going and what can happen. It was the whole purpose of going out with him. Dancing, having dinner, watching garden or movie theatre, were just with him was just a ruse to mislead me and your conscience and guilt!"
Meena was shaking her head side-to-side indicating no, that what I was saying was not true.
My words left Meena's head spinning and all she could up with to say was, "But I am here with you. I am not with him. I am here with you! I didn’t leave you or our life and love!"
"Yes, you are here with me just because I am back! After you let another man enjoy you and do whatever else he wanted to do with you, and this not just for a moment or day, but for the days I was not here!" I spoke.
"It is not true, and I let him not to do whatever he wanted to do with me, I had my red line and I stayed on my red line". She argued.
“You were unfaithful to our love and relationship. I don’t know about your red line, Meena. You can change the position of it, move back and forth. I know just that your emotional affair with him bothers me and makes me very sad and sometimes angry, more than your physical on…" I spoke.
“Pardon?" She interrupted me.
“Talking to him outside of the relationship about personal things, some flirting, some texting and telling him about your personal other relationships, telling him about your sex life, maybe even sexting, exchanging pics etc. That means you were and are still, emotionally connected to him, and you hide it to me, your partner, your husband, and somebody that you claim to love him. Emotional affair can be just as bad as a physical affair, because it’s easy to get emotionally involved then it can quickly and easily turn into a physical affair… Now I need to know everything about your time with him, and about what and how you two come close, I mean physically,”
"I... I honestly can't phrase my point in a couple of sentences. All I know is… talking about this in so much detail is a bad idea."
"Okay....now let me explain to you why I need to know these things in detail."
"Alright." She accepted.
"When two people decide for another and for sharing their lives, it is not sharing only their property, their home, their bedroom, their genital organs. But also, a high level of intimacy, I call it better oneness. You achieve it when you go with another one together, through this process, Meena. This achieves you with only one person... Only one person at a time. That level of intimacy goes beyond just sticking a penis in a cunt or any other sexual act, with somebody. Do you get what I am saying?"
"I....I am not sure."
"Well, the practical act of sex, the penetration, comes from evolution. that has a biological programming, biological name is imperative. Everything else that goes with it. But intimacy as I said before, is more than just a sex act, it is this closeness to somebody else, that's... an expression of love. If you have a sexual affair, it is the first level of this process, it is not so complicated and actually very primitive, this is what we did it sometimes previously… but when it goes in a higher level, with or without sexual act, even a kiss, then you enter in the level of this intimacy, this emotional affair, this is my problem, and I must solve this problem, otherwise, our life together will become problematic, even senseless, at least for me. Did you get my point now?"
"What is your point exactly, Nadir?" She asked.
"I need to know if you have... Or had in these past days a relationship with him that goes beyond just sexual or physical closeness."
Meena finally realized she could not argue and explain her way out of her situation.
So, she exasperatedly asked, "What do I need to do? Tell me, what do I need to do to make up for my mistake?"
"I don’t know Meena; you are no longer mine. You gave yourself to another man." I spoke.
"No! No! No! That is not true, I am yours. I am yours and yours alone. Last days I made bad decisions. They were stupid decisions and that will never happen again."
"But Meena, you've done it. You gave yourself to him. He took your soul and somehow your body and now a part of you belongs to him. Then maybe you go better back to him, to your lover," I said angrily and somewhat loudly.
"But I tell you, I was and am yours and no one else's." Meena begged.
"Meena, I saw it for myself, you made yourself for him ready and available, you claim you did not have sex with him, but this is for me not so important. Because you had many times sex with your uncle, but you were under his control and for me, actually and mainly, you were forced blackmailed. Perhaps, not perhaps but sure, you had more often incredibly intense orgasms fucking him, but it was principally unvoluntary from your side, your normal hormonal and body reaction. Apart from that, we involved other men in our erotic games, and you slept with them at my request and my will and presence and enjoyed it too. But that was all physical. But now it is completely different, you waited for me to leave, you hid from me, when, where and how often you met him, what does that mean? any reasonable person will see that you wanted to give yourself to him, you wanted to unite with him physically and mentally."
Meena interrupted, "But it was a mistake. I made a mistake. And I didn't now what I was doing. My emotions, my hormones just took control of me, and I made a terrible decision!"
"I don't want to hear your excuses." I said indignantly.
"Today in bathroom, I decided to tell you the truth. I know this was no affair and nothing important is occurred. But I.. I…" And this brought out Meena's sobs and after a brief moment she continued, "It just got out of control. I mean more than what my personal limit was or is … It just got out of control and I'm so sorry, In these recent days, a little voice reminded me that I’m not really deserving your trust, because of what I do and the lie I am still telling. When I would put myself in your shoes, I always decided that I would want to know the truth. I would want the person I love to be honest with me. but Nadir, I am not the only one who guilty is…."
"What do you mean you are not the only one who guilty is?" I asked.
This time Meena spoke slowly and argued, "Look Nadir, before I speak about this. first, we have to make some other things clear, you talk about and you accuse me about my betrayal, that I cheated on you, betrayed our love and life, had sex with another man and so on, and this all intentionally…
I will not discuss this anymore, but I want to tell you the truth, I’ll tell you briefly what happened, where and how, and then you can ask questions, no matter how detailed you want the answers to be, I will admit everything as it was. Here and for the last time, I swear that I will answer everything you want to know exactly and without lies, I speak about truth, and you are the one who accepts it, or not… You are the one who believes what I say or not and then you decide what to do, what happens to our life together…
I met him five times, on the Sunday after you left, he was here for a short time and surprised me in my bathing suit because I had bathed beforehand, but nothing happened. He almost persuaded me to go dancing with him the next day, Monday, and then when he brought me back, we got closer, he kissed me in the car, but nothing more.
The next day, Tuesday, he picked me up and we drove to his place. After dinner and after Tahir, his friend, left, he unexpectedly grabbed me from behind in the library and started to touch and rub my breasts and genitals until I came.
Then we left his house, and he took me home. Nothing more and nothing less.
On Wednesday he took me to dinner and then to the cinema, where we kissed long and passionately, and he touched and rubbed my lower abdomen again, and I touched and rubbed him for the first time and then he came.
Yesterday we went to a pizzeria for lunch and then to his house for a coffee. He wanted to talk to me about his plans for the future.
We kissed and nothing more.
That was all Nadir.
I was never naked with him, and we never had real sex.
Now I sit here, and you ask me what you want in details.
One point more, I believe, and I am convinced that if you don't accept and believe my words, then our love, our relationship, our marriage, and our life together have no chance of survival... Then our life together is useless and just
a torture for both of us, no matter how much we love each other ... Then it is better that each of us goes our own way.
But please no hateful sentences, I am going to confess nothing but just the truth…"
Then she stopped waiting for me to say something.
After my coming back from my medical meeting abroad, right at the airport a word concerned me… a simple word: ‘relieved‘!
On Friday afternoon Meena took me from airport at 6pm.
"Oh Nadir, I love you... I'm so relieved that you're back," she said as she kissed me for the third time after my arrival.
‘She is so nice to me today, has she discovered new feelings of love for me?‘ I thought, and then ‘relieved?' Why relieved?...
I would have expected the word ‘happy‘, like I'm so happy that you’re back but ‘relieved‘?!
What was going on here?
My logical reaction to this explanation was to ask her immediately. I asked if there had been any problems?
She answered immediately but with a certain reserve and even confusion, "no, no… Everything okay".
* * *
Afterward at home while dinner we spoke about the meeting and the news from her job.
I asked her about Jalal too, she answered uninterestedly and briefly that she had seen him two times, as she told me on phone, the first day at our home and then when he visited her at work, because of payment, both times shortly.
I had the feeling that she, during conversations, tried not to look into my eyes so often and directly, as always.
* * *
Later, we were both a little tired from the day's exertion and went to bedroom earlier than usual.
When I returned from the bathroom and wanted to lie down, Meena was in bed, lying back on a scrunched-up pillow, looking through some travel magazines.
I enjoyed the view.
Even though we had been married since years, I still enjoyed looking at her.
A beautiful tall brunet, shoulder length brown hair, cut fashionably movie stars style with bangs, she looked some years younger than her true age of 33.
The robe she wore was as sexy as a potato sack, but I could still see the curve of her hot breasts underneath it.
I could also envision her long legs.
I thought about trying to get a real look between them but stopped myself.
She is tired and not in mood today, she told me previously when I tried to start something with her before.
I looked down at myself. Where she was still of body shape just like her early twenties, I'd already developed the class middle aged paunch of a guy whose only exercise was getting out running with her every few months. And only when she absolutely demanded it.
* * *
I slid into bed next to her.
I leaned over to kiss her. I tried for the lips but she moved her head slightly so I planted a kiss on the side of her face.
She smiled absent mindedly at me.
She glanced over at me as if surprised that I'd noticed what she was reading.
She held the magazine out to me. It was 'Country Travel' with the pages turned to, 'The best beaches you've never heard of.'
One of them which she showed me, was in our region.
Not more than a few hours to ride.
"Wow, that is beautiful. What about it, would you like to go there the next weekend, we have a long weekend because of holiday? "
Meena looked at me as if surprised, "That's, sweet, Nadir...but...I had meant to talk to you. I promised Jalal that we would go to his ranch this weekend. He will be very disappointed if we don't,"
"When did this come up? I hadn't heard a word about it." I said irritated.
She looked into my eyes and then away with an expression I couldn't place, "I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. He asked me when we met at his place, in his garden. I'd meant to mention it, but I kept forgetting. Sorry. I didn't think we had any firm plans. You're always working. And we haven't gone anywhere exotic in a long time."
"And you made him a firm promise? What if I have to or would have to work?" my voice was insulted.
"I know, but he insisted…" Meena answered while trying to avoid my gaze.
I interrupted her, "Then you can go with him alone if you want, I can't promise yet."
She dropped the magazine to her hip, then rolled a little so one big luscious breast bulged out against her robe and said, "I'm sorry Nadir, I pretty much already told him we would take the holidays. But, look, we can take another weekend off and go to the coast I promise I'll leave time so we can g as you wish and when you wish..."
Then she finished patting me on the hand and then picked the magazine back up before it sunk in.
I thought about our sentences and ran them over and over, jumbling them up and trying to figure out about our time today and together at all.
"can I ask you something, Meena? Why today at the airport did you say that you were relieved that I was there?" I asked.
She looked back at me from the magazine with a slightly puzzled expression on her face as if she'd only heard part of what I said, and asked, "What did you say?"
I didn't realize it then, but from the expression that slowly grew on her face I realized a storm cloud must have appeared on mine as I slowly, with great emphasis and the beginnings of real anger, said, "that you were relieved that
I was there. Is there or was there something going on here in these five days I don't know about?" I asked.
An expression consisting of equal parts surprise, embarrassment and what appeared to be shock appeared on her face.
"What are you talking about Nadir? You must have misunderstood what I said." she said.
"No. You said it very clearly and distinctly. 'I am relieved that you are here!' Normally in such situations always you say, 'I missed you, or I'm happy... ' but relieved? Why were you relieved..." I insisted.
She shook her head and tried to look me in the eyes, "I couldn't have said that, Nadir. That's crazy, why should I be relieved? "
"No, just weird. So where did that come from?" I asked.
"I don't – oh. I must have meant for sure I was happy... That's what I meant to say."
"Oh." I replied shortly and quietly.
I rolled it around inside my head and I knew she was lying, 'relieved,' and "happy" aren't close enough to make that kind of mistake! And she hadn't been thinking when she said it.
It had popped out without her thinking about it or apparently even realizing what she was saying.
What was Meena thinking about, I thought, glancing at her beautiful face and realizing she was still focused in with a laser-like stare on my eyes.
She was trying to read me the way I was reading her.
And then I realized with an acidic burn in the pit of my stomach, I didn't like the feeling I had about her at this moment.
I made myself laugh, although it came out as a dry chuckle.
"You're right, babe. Anybody can garble their words. I even do it once in a while. I have to admit, I am too sensitive about what you say…" I tried to make myself laugh again but all that came out was a dry cough.
She searched my eyes intently as if trying to see if I was telling the truth.
She reached over and did something that shocked and scared me a little.
She took my hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it.
Such a simple thing. But I couldn't remember the last time she had ever done it, in such situations..
Even when we were getting ready for sex it was kissing on the lips and her jerking my dick and my licking her luscious pussy until she was wet and ready.
But a simple gesture like kissing the back of my hand.... it was something new lovers did at special moments.
Otherwise, you do that when you are very emotional or when you want to emphasize something or reject someone from something.
If she had looked me in the eye then she would have known something was wrong-But she didn't.
She kept her face tightly against the back of my hand and kissed it again.
Without looking at me, she said, "I'm sorry for saying it that way, Nadir. I am so sorry that I caused you disturbing thoughts. You know I love you. I love you more now than when we married. You are my past, my present and my future. This is crazy. It was just a slip of the tongue, and it didn't mean anything, everything was and is Okay."
But I couldn't take my uncertainty and doubt hat off.
I wondered why she wouldn't look at me when she professed her undying love.
And I found myself listening to and weighing her words, her tone.
And I found my mind weighing her words.
And over and over, my mind went back to the same question…
Of course, a part of me kept telling me this whole train of thought was stupid.
She had just mixed up her words. Tomorrow morning things would be back to normal and in a day or two I'd laugh at my own paranoia.
I wanted to believe that, but everything felt...wrong. It was a simple mistake,
but why had she reacted the way she had?
If it was nothing, she'd simply have laughed it off, went back to her reading and teased me about taking it the wrong way. But she hadn't.
She had acted worried, disturbed and now she was acting in an unusually loving manner.
She let my hand go and put the magazine on the drawer by her side of bed.
She reached up and turned off the nightlight on her side and told me, "Turn the light off, darling."
As I reached over to my right to turn off the light on my side I saw her stand up out of the corner of my eye and I held off turning off the light.
By the time I had rolled back to her the robe had dropped and she was stepping out of her panties.
I watched her beautiful breasts, with the nipples pointing forward that always fascinated me.
But I lost focus on those hot part of her when my eyes drifted down to her pussy.
I couldn't understand what I was looking at first. I found myself looking for the light fuzz that surrounded her vagina, but it was gone. It was as smooth as baby's bottom. Just the pink of her outer lips and a hint of the red interior.
After a minute I realized she had shaved down there.
Gotten rid of all her public hair.
Why, and for whom, I wondered.
I had never suggested it. Not in recent years, anyway.
She looked at me, read the expression on my face, and said with a timid smile, "Do you like it? A lot of the girls at the job, especially the younger, told me this is really hot and men love it."
I just looked at her for a moment, and then I couldn't stop myself from saying, "I bet they do. Have you gotten any compliments?"
She just stared at me until what I'd said sunk in.
Now the tears appeared in her eyes. "How can you say that, Nadir. God, how can you say something that mean...when I did this for you?"
The anger that was percolating inside me was coming out and I couldn't stop it, "And just when were you going to show me your new look, baby? After you finished your magazine? Or tomorrow or next week? When was the last time you did it for me? Or asked if I like it?"
I pretended to think.
"Oh, yeah. Never. So, what's different about tonight. Oh, and how long ago did you shave it?"
She climbed onto the bed on her hands and knees, her breasts dangling down like ripe fruits. She knew that almost made me hard as a rock. She reached out and closed her hand on my cock.
It was already rigid, and I couldn't help release a little groan of pleasure.
"I don't want to fight, Nadir, please… I want you. Inside me. The way it used to be. I'm sorry I've let things slide. I shaved because I wanted to excite you. I wanted you to grab me and throw me down, spread my legs and fuck me the way you used to. We used to love it, remember?"
And I wanted to believe her.
I wanted to believe she had shaved herself for me. I wanted to believe that she had been planning to surprise me with incredibly hot sex out of the blue tonight.
Unfortunately, I couldn't. I grabbed her hand and pulled it off my rock hard cock. It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
She looked at me as if I'd gone crazy, and she probably thought I had.
"Babe, I really don't know what's going through your mind right now. I don't even know if I know you anymore.
One thing I do know. There was no way in hell you were planning on having hot sex with me tonight, baby." I looked at her curiously.
She wasn't crying, just looked stunned.
I turned around and said, "I don't feel like it today, just like you felt an hour ago, now we'd better go to sleep and see what happens tomorrow."
* * *
Saturday when I woke up first, I looked at the wall clock, 7:30 am, it was still too early for a weekend day, I was curled up behind her, pulling her close with one arm while my leg was dbangd over her.
A ray of sunshine knifed through the blinds directly onto my eyelids, disturbing my sleep and waking me to greet the day.
I nuzzled the back of her head, letting her hair tickle my nose as I breathed her in.
Meena moaned softly and wiggled against me, making me smile. Not wanting to disturb her, I gave her a gentle kiss on her neck before quietly slipping out of bed. She rolled over into the spot I had vacated, briefly opening one eye to look up at me.
"What's up?" Meena whispered.
At this moment our conversation and my yesterday's thoughts and questions were back in my head, "I'm awake. I think I'm going to my study; you can continue sleeping, it’s too early."
Meena smiled and said softly, "Okay, baby," she responded as she grabbed my pillow and pulled it against herself, nesting with the intent to sleep longer.
I smiled again as I leaned over and kissed her cheek before grabbing some clothes and leaving the room.
I wanted to go quickly through the recordings of my hidden cameras, There was nothing exciting or important to see in the recordings, Meena's coming and going, and telephone conversations with friends and colleagues that were often too quiet and inaudible.
I thought I had to find a way to make the recording sound stronger.
The only thing that was interesting was the first day of my trip, when Jalal visited Meena and was with her for a short time, even though she wasn't expecting him.
She met him on the ground floor in her bathrobe and as you could see in the film, they were both a bit shocked and Meena was visibly embarrassed.
And after some minutes he left.
Meena was away for a bit longer on Thursday.
She came home from work, took a shower, got dressed and then drove away.
After returning about four hours later, she went into the bedroom and strangely enough took off her beautiful clothes, her skirt and blouse that she really likes, and shoved them not in the laundry basket but under her bed!
But the third case was more interesting, it was recorded on yesterday, Friday, a few hours before my arrival, at about 11:30 am, that Meena, after showering, got dressed and left. But she didn't take her car keys, which always hang next
to the Kitchen door. That meant she drove off with someone else.
I didn’t hear that she calls a taxi.
Then she came back about three hours later and went into the bathroom again.
At first, I tried to calm myself down, maybe she went shopping, but in beautiful, elegant, sexy clothes? Why not by car? And above all, when she came back, she was carrying a small package in her hand, packed in beautiful wrapping paper, which she had put somewhere in the back of her wardrobe, before she undresses and disappears into the bathroom.
Where was she for over three hours?
***
About one hour later, I went back to the bedroom.
Meena was awake and I could hear her washing in the bathroom.
I lay down on my bed again and when she came back, I asked, "Tell me baby, how was your visit to Jalal’s Haus?"
She sat down on the bed next to me and replied, "it was quite nice with him, He has a big house with a house staff, a few of whom are employed by him. The man is Gardner and also responsible for buying, repairing and so on, his wife is for internal work, cooking, cleaning and keeping things tidy... Jalal really lives like a real lord in a small palace and garden, you have to see it, unbelievable, oh beautiful...
His friend is also older but certainly a few years younger, around mid-fifties or even younger. a nice, stocky man, a little shorter but still very tall with a beard, who looks like a lumberjack from the last century," she laughed.
Then I asked her a question that interested me the most, "And in addition to watching the garden and eating dinner, what else did you do?"
"Sitting in his library, talking," Meena answered.
"Just talking?" I asked.
"Yes, it was a long talk with him and his friend. We were three hours or even more talking, and dinking a splendid wine too, " she answered, quickly.
"Did his friend then left?" I asked.
"Yes, he left shortly after dinner, he had to ride to his country ranch," After that
Meena looked a little unsure whether she gave the right answer or whether she said something wrong.
That meant they two, Meena and that old Jalal were at least two hours alone.
After that Meena stood up and while she was going to the door she said, I'm making coffee and left the room to go to the ground floor...
***
Of course, I was wondering if she was telling the truth.
But I couldn't imagine what they had to talk about so long, it didn't seem right.
And of course I was suspicious.
I knew Meena too long not to notice her changed behaviour and mannerisms. But for the moment I was undecided…
That was obvious, Meena and Jalal had done more than have dinner and talk.
They had been together.
Two hours talking? Just two of them? I knew that Jalal is interested in her and I guessed, no, I was sure that he tried to approach her intimately.
But have they been intimate?
Did Meena let him in my absence to approach her and more?
If not, why would she behave so strange?
I thought my suspicions of them had to be borne out, I had to search further and Deeper.
But this desperate situation was too much for me and the more I thought about her behaviour since I was back, I saw it clearly, yes, with intent and purpose Meena was betraying me with this old man!
She played with words; she said she is ‘relieved’ that I am back! Strange, very strange this all!
I was laying on my bed and thinking.
But at the end I came to the conclusion that I may have paranoia! but that didn't give me any peace.
She lied or concealed something? Shit! I thought to myself.
How could I be sure? Then I thought perhaps I could find some hints in her cell phone, and yes, she had left it, at the bedside table, I reached for it and opened it. I knew the password; it was my birthdate.
As I thumbed through the contact list of recent days, I found his name, Noori, twelve times! some were not accepted or answered. But at least seven have gone through.
Realizing that I would have better luck looking at the text messages first, I thumbed the icon and then started looking at some of the texts. Attached to two messages were those pictures!
First there were photos she sent me, but differently captioned ‘dream of me…’ but were sent to Noori!
And his reply was a photo of a man. This is he, Jalal, I thought, and I was sure, even if his face was not to see.
His muscular, hairy chest and belly were hidden under a tank top.
He was standing in his white boxer shorts, but I could see his massive bulge the head of his dick trying to poke out down against the inside of his thigh.
He was abnormally long! probably at least eight inches long and thicker than mine for sure, It was captioned. 'All yours.'
Now the proof is there, now it was borne out!
She did all of that these days just so she could fuck that big old guy, what else? And now seeing it all, I wanted to confront Meena with her shit.
I wanted to get her treachery out on the table.
I thought about the recordings of my hidden cameras.
With the exception of the first harmless day, they were never seen together on film, but they also met away from home, probably at his place more often.
Then I thought about the two strange things in films, that preoccupied me when I looked at them.
I got up and rummaged through her closet and found what I was looking for.
There was a gift, a pink lingerie, very sexy with a handwritten gift note: 'For the most beautiful and sexiest woman in my life that I have ever met, I hope to see you soon while you have them on! Kiss on your hot lips'! Kiss JN’
Okay, everything's clear!
Then I thought of dress that she unusual for her, had left hidden under her bed.
it was still there, her beautiful summer clothes that she loves them!
But surprisingly they were stained and smelled kind of funny.
Then I remembered that she went had these on, the day before yesterday, when she left home for hours.
I came to the conclusion that the stains were semen stains and not something else, because they looked exactly like the ones that sometimes happen to me when I'm careless!
***
When I got downstairs, I found Meena sitting at the kitchen table and drinking coffee and reading a magazine.
"Where have you been so long, baby? " she asked, not raising her head to look directly at me.
I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table across from Meena. And for a couple of minutes neither me nor Meena said a word.
Meena cannot even bring herself to look at me, I thought to myself somehow with rage. Instead, she just stared down into her coffee and her magazine.
But then I broke the silence by asking, "Well Meena, do you want to talk?"
Meena for the first time look briefly into my eyes, and then immediately away again, and asked, "What about, darling?"
"We are not the same as we were a week ago, the day I flew," I said.
"Why are you saying such a thing? I am the same, maybe you are not. Last night showed that you are not the same, you were so weird, your behaviour was weird," Meena argued.
"No, no, no... Meena, I am the one who is the same and you have become someone else. Your behaviour is strange," and continued, “Okay, I’ll ask you something, are you hiding something from me?" I asked while looking directly at her face as if trying to discover something.
“What do you want to say? What do you mean?” She asked in a puzzled and at the same time of a bit uncertain tone.
Her voice was even in the background slightly trembling.
“I mean do you have secrets you want to hide?“ I looked in her eyes.
For a moment I had the feeling that she was sitting there looking at me, like she did not understand me or that she was paralyzed. No word came back, just deep broken breathing sound from her, whether she has difficulty breathing.
“Let me explain, Meena. Over 80% of couples have one of these two kinds of relationships, either they don’t love each other but just live together, in which case they are honest and don’t need to hide anything, that’s normal. Then there are couples who love each other but aren’t honest with each other, Because, for whatever reason, they may be embarrassed and/or don’t want to lose the other person. The remaining 20% concerns two other groups. Main group of these two are those who don’t love each other but are so estranged that they see no reason to let each other know about their activities and feelings. Then there is a small percentage, very small perhaps not more than seven or eight percent, who talk and tell each other everything about feelings, emotions, activities and everything other and love each other infinitely. I always thought we belong to this tiny percentage, Meena. Now you can talk if you want and explain…“
So now Meena just sat silent and waited for the hammer to fall because sheknew what was coming next.
“Do you understand what I say, Meena, Have… You… Been… Faithful to me these past few days?“ I answered with a firm and a little louder but calm voice.
Meena panicked, “I… please, please understand that after your departure, it all got out of control.”
“What got out of control?" I asked.
“Me and Jalal, I mean I lost control, I didn’t mean to, but it just happened, but nothing important happened, Nadir, I swear…" Meena wailed.
“You and Jalal got out of control meaning what?" I calmly asked her.
Meena was shaking visibly and trying to clear the situation, “Okay, okay, okay, I am not going to lie, but we had no sex. There, I said it. It just happened and I am so very sorry that it happened, but things just got out of control." Meena sobbed.
I thought for a moment before I said, “No, Meena, things didn’t get out of control. Things went just the way you intended.”
Meena finally looked up at me and asked, “What do you mean… as I intended?”
“I mean, Meena, I know more than you think. You send him your nude pictures. And you saved the photo of his cock in your cell phone, this is intension, you chatted with him over your cell phone about your nude ass and your tit pictures and the picture of his dick, this was intentional, then you agreed to go out with him and I don’t know how many times you did it and you dressed as sexy as you possibly could for him and you had visited him in his house alone and God knows where else, this in intention and every time you were for hours with him alone and made things out of your control how you formulate them, I can image what they were, this is intension…”
“No! No! No! Not true, not true!" Meena screamed.
“Meena since I left, you left this house every time, with the full intention of having sex with Jalal.”
“No! No! No! That is not true. It’s not…”
I interrupted her, "Meena it is true, and you have fucked up our marriage and Relationship and betrayed my love royally."
"No, I, I haven't fucked up our marriage royally, as you put it. Yes, I made a terrible mistake, and I made a really bad decision. But nothing happened, I had no sex with him, really, please believe me, now, just slow down and stop
accusing me..."
After getting my thoughts together I said to her, "Meena, I don't believe you. I don't believe things got out of control not intentionally and I don't believe that nothing important happened. But what I do believe is that you planned it..."
"No! No! No! I did not plan this, it just happened. Everything just got out of control. You have got to believe me!" Meena cried.
Meena was shaking her head side-to-side indicating no, that what I was saying was not true.
Meena wanted to get away from hearing I accuse her of all the things she had done so she tried to steer the conversation to how much she loved me.
"I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and I know that you know that. We've to get beyond this and move on with our life."
I thought for a couple of moments before I said to her, "No, I can't get beyond this. What you have done to me is far too serious to just walk away from it. Don't you understand what you did to me these last days? You lied to me, and you deceived me and humiliated me!"
"I didn't do that! I didn't do it! I would never do those things to you!" Meena screamed.
"Goddamn Meena, you left my love! You left our love and life to go fuck another man. And you even deceived me into to going along with it!"
Now crying almost uncontrollably, Meena screamed at I, "I never left you. I would never leave you. Never! I just fucked up really bad."
"Meena, Meena, what did you just fucked up?" I asked.
"I… I wanted to prepare him, I sear… I mean I wanted to seduce him for your game, to make him more interested on me for later, when you are there… I…I can't betray you… leave you; how can I betray or leave my life? " She argued
and cried.
I interrupted her, "Listen to me Meena, when you had your hair and nails done just for him, you left me.
When you primped just for him, you left me.
When you dressed up just for him, you left me.
When you let him put his hands on you, you left me.
When you took off your dress for him, you left me.
When you laid down on his bed, you left me.
When you sent your nude pictures to him you left me. And when you let him have you, you left me for good."
"No! No! No! I didn't do that, it happened nothing, please believe me... Everything just got out of control, those pics were for you, and I sent them to the wrong address. You know, I wanted to tell you from the beginning, but then I thought about it because I should not worry you, you were not here…"
"Meena, when I think about it, you packaged yourself for him and then you offered yourself to him. And he took you and made a part of you his own, a part not just in your body but your soul. Don't you understand that a part of you now belongs to him. And, Meena, a part of you will always belong to him..."
That real incensed Meena and she went on the offensive.
She interrupted me, "Nadir, it wasn't like that, we had no sex, and this is not true, I didn’t offer or gave myself to him. Yes, my emotions, my hormones just took control of me some moments and I made a terrible decision sometimes,
but I had no sex with him, I made a mistake,".
"Meena, one moment. First tell me, when you say ‘I had no sex with him, what do you mean? What means sexual relationship for you?" I asked her.
“I mean, we had no… no…" She didn`t find the right words.
"Penetration? he did not penetrate in your cunt? Do you mean this?" I Asked angrily.
"Yes…Yes… No penetration occurred, not even close to…" She said more calmly, but without looking at me.
At this moment slowly I had the feeling that Meena was regaining control over her thoughts and speech.
"Okay Meena, about this we speak later, but secondly you repeat all the time, this shit with mistake, I’ll tell you what a mistake is, when you as a married wife, one night, drink too much alcohol and get drunk and accidentally and unplanned, let a guy fuck you and that just once and one time, then you can talk about mistake. Please let this shit word, mistake, leave it outside.".
"Okay, but I am also a flawed human being. I… please, please, understand that sometime things get out of control." Meena argued.
"What got out of control three or four times in five days?" I calmly asked her.
"Me," She wailed.
"You got out of control meaning what?" I asked.
Meena was squirming in her chair and desperately trying to find a way to escape her situation, "I lost control of me and situation! I didn't mean to, but it just happened!" Meena sobbed.
"I mean, you agreed to go out with him dancing, to his place, in the theatre and God knows where else, you decided touching, kissing, and God knows what else… All these nights. Then you spent the almost entire your free time with him, everyday primping for him, you dressed as sexy as you possibly could and with him, And then..."
"No! No! No! Not true, not true!" Meena screamed.
"Meena, you left this house with the full intention of to be with and perhaps having sex with Jalal. If my meeting had lasted a day or two longer, you would have slept with him too." I screamed.
"No! No! No! That is not true. It's not..." She wailed.
I interrupted her, "Meena it is true, and you have fucked up our marriage and relationship royally."
That real incensed Meena and she went on the offensive.
"No, I, I haven't fucked up our marriage royally, as you put it. Yes, I made a terrible mistake. I got caught up in the excitement of being with Jalal and I lost myself some moments and I made really bad decisions. And nothing happened but some touching and kissing. It will never happen again. But we can get beyond this if you will just slow down and stop accusing me..."
I interrupted her, "For some moments? You lost yourself for some moments? How about for some days!"
"That is not true!" Meena wailed.
"It is true Meena, you left here with him and for him, and you didn't come home until your sleeping time! These are not some moments!"
After getting my thoughts together I said to her, "Meena, I don't believe you. I do not believe things got out of control and I don't believe that it just happened. But what I do believe is that you planned it..."
"No! No! No! I did not plan this, it just happened. Everything just got out of control. You have got to believe me!" Meena cried.
"Meena, I don't believe you. I believe when you left here with Jalal you knew where you were going and what can happen. It was the whole purpose of going out with him. Dancing, having dinner, watching garden or movie theatre, were just with him was just a ruse to mislead me and your conscience and guilt!"
Meena was shaking her head side-to-side indicating no, that what I was saying was not true.
My words left Meena's head spinning and all she could up with to say was, "But I am here with you. I am not with him. I am here with you! I didn’t leave you or our life and love!"
"Yes, you are here with me just because I am back! After you let another man enjoy you and do whatever else he wanted to do with you, and this not just for a moment or day, but for the days I was not here!" I spoke.
"It is not true, and I let him not to do whatever he wanted to do with me, I had my red line and I stayed on my red line". She argued.
“You were unfaithful to our love and relationship. I don’t know about your red line, Meena. You can change the position of it, move back and forth. I know just that your emotional affair with him bothers me and makes me very sad and sometimes angry, more than your physical on…" I spoke.
“Pardon?" She interrupted me.
“Talking to him outside of the relationship about personal things, some flirting, some texting and telling him about your personal other relationships, telling him about your sex life, maybe even sexting, exchanging pics etc. That means you were and are still, emotionally connected to him, and you hide it to me, your partner, your husband, and somebody that you claim to love him. Emotional affair can be just as bad as a physical affair, because it’s easy to get emotionally involved then it can quickly and easily turn into a physical affair… Now I need to know everything about your time with him, and about what and how you two come close, I mean physically,”
"I... I honestly can't phrase my point in a couple of sentences. All I know is… talking about this in so much detail is a bad idea."
"Okay....now let me explain to you why I need to know these things in detail."
"Alright." She accepted.
"When two people decide for another and for sharing their lives, it is not sharing only their property, their home, their bedroom, their genital organs. But also, a high level of intimacy, I call it better oneness. You achieve it when you go with another one together, through this process, Meena. This achieves you with only one person... Only one person at a time. That level of intimacy goes beyond just sticking a penis in a cunt or any other sexual act, with somebody. Do you get what I am saying?"
"I....I am not sure."
"Well, the practical act of sex, the penetration, comes from evolution. that has a biological programming, biological name is imperative. Everything else that goes with it. But intimacy as I said before, is more than just a sex act, it is this closeness to somebody else, that's... an expression of love. If you have a sexual affair, it is the first level of this process, it is not so complicated and actually very primitive, this is what we did it sometimes previously… but when it goes in a higher level, with or without sexual act, even a kiss, then you enter in the level of this intimacy, this emotional affair, this is my problem, and I must solve this problem, otherwise, our life together will become problematic, even senseless, at least for me. Did you get my point now?"
"What is your point exactly, Nadir?" She asked.
"I need to know if you have... Or had in these past days a relationship with him that goes beyond just sexual or physical closeness."
Meena finally realized she could not argue and explain her way out of her situation.
So, she exasperatedly asked, "What do I need to do? Tell me, what do I need to do to make up for my mistake?"
"I don’t know Meena; you are no longer mine. You gave yourself to another man." I spoke.
"No! No! No! That is not true, I am yours. I am yours and yours alone. Last days I made bad decisions. They were stupid decisions and that will never happen again."
"But Meena, you've done it. You gave yourself to him. He took your soul and somehow your body and now a part of you belongs to him. Then maybe you go better back to him, to your lover," I said angrily and somewhat loudly.
"But I tell you, I was and am yours and no one else's." Meena begged.
"Meena, I saw it for myself, you made yourself for him ready and available, you claim you did not have sex with him, but this is for me not so important. Because you had many times sex with your uncle, but you were under his control and for me, actually and mainly, you were forced blackmailed. Perhaps, not perhaps but sure, you had more often incredibly intense orgasms fucking him, but it was principally unvoluntary from your side, your normal hormonal and body reaction. Apart from that, we involved other men in our erotic games, and you slept with them at my request and my will and presence and enjoyed it too. But that was all physical. But now it is completely different, you waited for me to leave, you hid from me, when, where and how often you met him, what does that mean? any reasonable person will see that you wanted to give yourself to him, you wanted to unite with him physically and mentally."
Meena interrupted, "But it was a mistake. I made a mistake. And I didn't now what I was doing. My emotions, my hormones just took control of me, and I made a terrible decision!"
"I don't want to hear your excuses." I said indignantly.
"Today in bathroom, I decided to tell you the truth. I know this was no affair and nothing important is occurred. But I.. I…" And this brought out Meena's sobs and after a brief moment she continued, "It just got out of control. I mean more than what my personal limit was or is … It just got out of control and I'm so sorry, In these recent days, a little voice reminded me that I’m not really deserving your trust, because of what I do and the lie I am still telling. When I would put myself in your shoes, I always decided that I would want to know the truth. I would want the person I love to be honest with me. but Nadir, I am not the only one who guilty is…."
"What do you mean you are not the only one who guilty is?" I asked.
This time Meena spoke slowly and argued, "Look Nadir, before I speak about this. first, we have to make some other things clear, you talk about and you accuse me about my betrayal, that I cheated on you, betrayed our love and life, had sex with another man and so on, and this all intentionally…
I will not discuss this anymore, but I want to tell you the truth, I’ll tell you briefly what happened, where and how, and then you can ask questions, no matter how detailed you want the answers to be, I will admit everything as it was. Here and for the last time, I swear that I will answer everything you want to know exactly and without lies, I speak about truth, and you are the one who accepts it, or not… You are the one who believes what I say or not and then you decide what to do, what happens to our life together…
I met him five times, on the Sunday after you left, he was here for a short time and surprised me in my bathing suit because I had bathed beforehand, but nothing happened. He almost persuaded me to go dancing with him the next day, Monday, and then when he brought me back, we got closer, he kissed me in the car, but nothing more.
The next day, Tuesday, he picked me up and we drove to his place. After dinner and after Tahir, his friend, left, he unexpectedly grabbed me from behind in the library and started to touch and rub my breasts and genitals until I came.
Then we left his house, and he took me home. Nothing more and nothing less.
On Wednesday he took me to dinner and then to the cinema, where we kissed long and passionately, and he touched and rubbed my lower abdomen again, and I touched and rubbed him for the first time and then he came.
Yesterday we went to a pizzeria for lunch and then to his house for a coffee. He wanted to talk to me about his plans for the future.
We kissed and nothing more.
That was all Nadir.
I was never naked with him, and we never had real sex.
Now I sit here, and you ask me what you want in details.
One point more, I believe, and I am convinced that if you don't accept and believe my words, then our love, our relationship, our marriage, and our life together have no chance of survival... Then our life together is useless and just
a torture for both of us, no matter how much we love each other ... Then it is better that each of us goes our own way.
But please no hateful sentences, I am going to confess nothing but just the truth…"
Then she stopped waiting for me to say something.
◊ ◊ ◊
Smell it, but don't tear it off
Demeter
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-- tbc --
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