Xossip Ultimate Story Contest 2014

[Expert]

This World, Then The Fireworks

coconutpalm


This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but with a whimper.
— T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"


On a scorching summer afternoon, Anu walked into a Cafe Coffee Day. The cafe was on the first floor. She sat down at a table overlooking the road. Even in this heat, there was enough traffic, people going about their business.

She was waiting for her boyfriend, who was going to be here any moment now.
Moments later, she saw Vivek coming in. He located Anu and plopped down in the chair in front of her.

"Hey," he said brightly.
"Hi," Anu said. She was glad to see her boyfriend.

"Not maintaining IST today?" she teased him. Vivek often came late and would claim, in his defence, that he was merely following the Indian Standard Time (IST).

"You're inspiring me to become punctual," Vivek said, truthfully.
"This heat fatigues me," Anu sighed.

"The usual hot summer," Vivek said. In this sun-drenched southern city, the sun tires everyone out.
In the cafe, the air-conditioning was working properly, and soon they felt better, a lot better. Air-conditioning can work wonders. They asked for two cups of cold coffee.

Anu was looking, meditatively, at the traffic on the road. She looked gorgeous.
"What are you thinking about?" Vivek asked her.

"Happy thoughts," she replied. They had made love yesterday night, and the afterglow still lasted.
"Me too," he said happily.

"On my way here, I went to Spencer's to get some razors. I bumped into your colleague Namrata there."
"Hmm," Anu looked at Vivek.

"I tried to smile at her. In return, she snarled at me."
"She's always like that. She walks around the office in a manner that would make you think that the burdens of the whole world rest on her fragile shoulders."

"She's just a mean bitch. Don't sugarcoat things."
"Chee, chee, no sanskaar. Don't talk in that language," Anu said, playfully.
The people at the next table got up, ready to leave.

Anu took her Samchung Galaxy S6 (latest and hottest model) Dumbphone out of her handbag.
Vivek whipped out his Dapple Deeptalk 6 Huge (latest and hottest model) Dumbphone.
"My Samchung has Dumbroid Macaroni 5.4 OS," Anu said.

"My Dapple has jOS 9.1 OS."
"Dapple is so ghey."
"Everything that you dislike is gay? Grow up."

"No, not everything. But Dapple, certainly, is ghey," Anu smiled, looking into her boyfriend's eyes.
"Samchung copied everything from Dapple. Talk about copycats who can't innovate! Dapple creates markets with its products, the kind of products that people didn't even know they needed."

"Whatever! Dapple is for mentally-weak people."
"And Dumbroid is for mentally-strong people like yourself, I suppose?" Vivek said.
"Jes."

"Ju jelaas of my Dapple. Best user interface design in the galaxy," Vivek crowed.
"Huhuhu. I'm sure you get a hard-on just thinking of your Dapple?"
"And why not? Neighbour's envy, owner's pride."

"Typical Dapple fan-boi. Just looking at your Dapple gives you an orgasm. Huhuhu," Anu smiled. This was an old argument; they were just rehashing it.
They finished their coffee. The coffee was yummy. They asked for two more cups of cold coffee.
A plump girl, wearing a blue jeans and a pink t-shirt that was too tight around her stomach, walked in.

Vivek was poking at his Dapple Dumbphone.
Some five, ten minutes passed by. Anu asked him, "Aren't you going to talk to me?"
"I'm sorry. This Dapple Dumbphone so distracts me," Vivek said.

"Yeah? Dumbphones don't distract me. I only use them when necessary. They're damn convenient," Anu said.
"I wish I had your Herculean self-control," Vivek said.
Vivek continued, "I used to read novels. But I no longer feel like reading novels."

"Why?"
"Dunno. I feel I can't wade through an entire novel. It bores the hell out of me."
"Yeah? I don't have that problem," Anu said.

Anu continued, "What kinda novels were you reading? Mastram?" She grinned.
"No, you idiot. I used to read Harry Potter and Chacha Chaudhary."
"Since when is Chacha Choudhary considered a novel?"

"Well, I mean ... what novels do you read?"
"I read lots of Mills & Boon. They are tons of fun," she grinned.

***

Over the ensuing months, after arguing and discussing and contemplating over many issues, both silly and weighty, Anu and Vivek fell truly, madly, deeply in love. She was the gal of his dreams; in his dreams, she appeared in technicolor, resplendent, sometimes even with a halo. When Vivek saw Anu, there was a spring in his step. When Anu saw Vivek, there was a spark that animated her face. They were a made-for-each-other couple.

Soon, they got married. Their union was blessed by the gods in heaven, and, closer to earth, by their parents.

***

They became proud parents. Then they became proud grandparents. Time whizzed by. Soon they became proud great-grandparents. These were two lives that were well-lived, in a satisfactory manner.

***

One day, God summoned Vivek to his Heavenly Abode. It was a natural death. His heart had malfunctioned. That's understandable. After many years of service, a breakdown can only be expected, whether it's the heart or a mechanical device or an electronics part. A few months later, Anu was also summoned to her Heavenly Abode.


THE END

***

Notes:

1. Ghey is a corruption of the word Gay.

2. Jes is a corruption of the word Yes.

3. Ju jelaas is a corruption of the phrase You are jealous.
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