Adultery Love Sex And War Part 1 : Age Of Darkness

[DeanWinchester00007]

I am uncertain about this update and dont know how to rate it . It is one of the best erotic chapters but at the same one of the weakest chapter plot wise . 

The chapter was okay okay , but the sex part not only saves the chapter but elevates it up to the level of one of the best chapters .

I dont know it felt rushed or over edited . The dialogue felt short , The interaction needed to be little long , They felt meaning less . It is like you are losing plot or you are rushing or you over edited the story just to  keep the length short .

Most of the important stuff like Hemant and Tamanna hooking up , Hemant after 10 years of marriage fucking a new women it should have got some highlight how he felt about it . Him going home , and seeing sona how he felt , There was some lines needed for this . 

Please dont over use the Few days later Few days later  its fucking up the flow . lol . 

And for the first Time I think we should not blame Meghana for any thing . lol . Sona has chosen her path , and her destiny VIKRAM . I just hate it how much power He has over her . And now him turning out to be good character and her sister taking care of her brother and wants him to have good life with sona, I dont know if its wrong but its so frustrating . 

Added in Edit :-  Also How Meghna just gave all the Credit to VIKRAM and Sona agreed with her , Is she stupid or what ? What about he Mystery Man ? who literally slaughtered an Army for her , No mention of him ? She already forget about him, She could have counter Meghna over this but No . My VIKRAM 

Her Psychiatrist is the worst , worse than Meghna .   . What is the point of her therapy If she cant understand a simple thing just stay away from VIKRAM . NO Lets go to his birthday party , and kiss him why ? That same fucking reasoning I am really sorry for this i dont mean to offend you but this is so repetitive . Any bad things happens in her life she just straight goes on to bounce on VIKRAM's DICK and then cry about it , My marriage , My son , My blah blah blah . At least for once let her enjoy guilt free like wow Fuck my marriage Fuck Hemant but nope  . Nothings changed with her . Meghna is blameless whatever happens , Sona is just too stupid and her Psychiatrist is worse than Meghna . These women are dreaming of taking Meghna down ? It just so frustrating to even read . 

Her again just casually kissing VIKRAM on her birthday , and not disclosing it with Her Psychiatrist but saying Hemant is moving away from him while I was getting dick down by Lover , Please save my marriage lol . 

But one of the best part was Hemant seeing them together , That was so cruel   , HARRY . I was hoping some humiliation for Hemant there , But you turn him into COW , He does not even hate VIKRAM why ? Cmon so Dangerous underworld Triad Mob is just okay seeing her ex wife and her Motherfucker affair partner ? Not an iota of Hatred , No cringe No anger Nothing . I just wanna see VIKRAM reaction when MICHAEL reveal his real identity . 
At that time more dialogue was needed , It felt it was  too short, There should be more guilt more sarcasm more helplessness you know MORE DRAMA needed there , That was i was talking about , I felt it was missed opportunity . 

Do you feel the same ? Or is it just me ? Just asking . I think the story still needs more drama , Can you please put more drama in it without worrying about the length . We are gonna read it any ways few more lines or paragraph would not hurt 

Also I thought there must be deeper rivalry between Anjana Bajaj and Hemant but it was nothing , but it was okay . 

Also  , about the plot . Did tamanna know about Hemant's past ? I might have missed it . But if she does not , then how come she is okay with his past . She just fucked a man who sliced down countless Man , and she is okay ?  Revealing Hemant's true identity is big part of plot , If this is gonna be everyone's reaction then i am not sure it would play big part in future updates . The villains are gasping for air but people around him just okay with his true identity .




NOW THE BEST PART . Just too much heat , His walk is Godly, The Throne is his      *MICHAEL KING*

Not gonna lie , I was hoping MICHAEL would not get engaged with anybody , But after reading that Sona went to VIKRAM's birthday , I was like Fuck her , Fuck Them . HE NEEDS THIS . Unleash the beast  

And Tamanna was good choice for start hahahahaha . 

The tenderness at start and then roughness at the end , Specially Coffee sex part was the best , The rough , primal fucking MICHAEL not holding back any more , though this was start but still it was best . I was hoping that Sona some how get to know about this . 
Just cutting it with Few days later without telling how hemant felt when he reached home , what was he feeling , and the next day . I was hoping little more story between him and tamanna like flirting text , both them meeting again coffee talking about that day would be good to show some romance . Hemant needed that . but again no complaints . 

And FUCKING SID MEHTA , God , I love the how the table turns now . I just hope He get to know who really Hemant is before MICHAEL CRUSH HIS SKULL WITH HIS BARE HANDS . I just hope if his death is in picture it should brutal   .

Now the HIGHTLIGHT of the STORY , MRUNAL 

I was hoping that you gonna save her for the best part and for later , MICHAEL should have bang Pranitha before Banging MRUNAL .  But again , I need to read that part again    . It was again one of the best celebrity erotic sex tale . Him just going so rough at the end , like fucking the frustration , Bechari Mrunal Sona ka gussa Jhelna pada . Sona needs to know about this , At least we get some Idea if she felt jealous or not . 

Though This is just the start , There will be more , But unleashing of  MICHAEL was Successful and Very much needed .

Also Introducing the NEW villains are good . 

Overall , It was good . Just needed little more .  and also dont FORGET LESBIANS . hahahaha

Looking forward for Chapter 25 . 


(I am not criticizing or anything , Just a simple comment for fun .)


Again YOU ROCK,  HARRY   .