Adultery Love Sex And War Part 1 : Age Of Darkness

[DeanWinchester00007]

I finally finished the update . That Sona and Vikram part was so unbearable .

I had one criticism before  and Now I have the same criticism  . You need to tone down a bit the whole Sona and VIKRAM situation . 

The plot is fine , the material is not right , great words and line but not needed , not everything needs to have some pinch of intimacy and 

So Sona was crying all night , with her wedding photo , all her confession , how she is still in love with Hemant , wants to make amend , But in Morning , doing Jhappi and Puppi with VIKRAM . Hugging and Crying and Planning their Future , Garden Garden Khel re dono . It just minimizes all her guilt or grief , makes it harder to believe , Did she really care about her married life and all ? 

I understand that She is in lot of distress , Anxiety, might be in Depression probably Alone , No one to share her grief and VIKRAM is there , He cares about her . Their whole interaction could have been like Two normal people just talking and sharing . Genuinely trying to help each other which they were doing , But the whole Jhappi and puppi scene just undermine the whole scenario . Its confusing , and  its disturbing the natural flow . 

To be honest , The whole Garden scene .

If we look at it without context, the paragraph is beautifully  written ,poetic, intimate, full of warmth. 

But with context the characters supposed to be drowning in guilt and grief, I do understand that she needed that but not like this . Physical touches , Cuddling , Roaming in park with holding each other hands, resting her head on his chest , Listening his heart beat , Fingers mingling . YUCKKKKK . Am I suppose to believe that Every person grief differently , This is  Sona way of Grieving , Jhappi and puppi playing garden garden when her whole is falling apart in front of her . And her Lover already making plans for future , and her admiring him for that . What if Hemant had seen her in the Park ?

But okay no Problem . 

In coffee shop , WTF . I own you Big THANK YOU   , For not making them fuck on Coffee table  . Again kissing her Lover while grieving , At least give her character some dignity and some brains . I know VIKRAM unknowingly took advantage of her vulnerability . But still The comfort she feels around him , and their chemistry , the trust , Their compatibility , That He just kissed her out of now where and she let him after a moment she refused . But even in this situation , She is fine , No fear of meeting him , No fear of How Hemant would react , if he saw her kissing him . This is not CONFUSION . 

Though Later, we came to know what might be the reason behind these actions , But still a little bit of maturity was needed in circumstances like this . 

To be honest , I know and I understand what you trying to say , I do  But your words are not supporting your plotline  . 

Creating confusing . You can see lots of comments were on this , The Whole Sona and VIKRAM part dominated the whole story as compare to Hemant and Sona , So when Sona confessed her love for Hemant , and she still loves Hemant , Though VIKRAM gave her new etc etc etc , Hemant is still in her heart etc etc etc . Its hard to believe . 

No wonder people are not even divided on Sona x Hemant vs Sona x VIKRAM thing . They have the clear picture Sona and VIKRAM deserves each other . 

I know as a writer , You always put your 100% in every part , and you wants to bring your A game in every words and line , which you have done spectacularly , But I think you should take different approach here , The intimacy, The sex ( which they will do in future , I know this    and I know this is an erotic website ) will ruin the grief and emotional side Sona' Arc . 

Also , Earlier we had  this GREEN FLAG Image of VIKRAM , I never realize this , Though i made comment  on hidden agenda of VIKRAM , but His character was so perfect without any flaw and Now finally we saw a little GLIMPSE of VIKRAM's unknown side ,his trait and behavior  . Which is good , Finally , The contrast we needed to compare the two characters and also Needed for Sona . I hope there is more we can see. 


But 

Also , Then I also understand the whole point of doing what you did . I get it . THE HIDDEN MEANING and THE SUBTLE HINTS . I have enough faith in you that you gonna pull it  off . 

I hope  whatever happens in future updates  balances out or even out do what happened in Earlier updates , The written material, The Content .

I did not want to make this comment , but The whole Sona and VIKRAM part irked me so much   which I know the may be the whole point of writing that paragraph . lol . This is good but not good . 

(Just wrote what i felt in that moment . lol . I am setting my maturity aside . A little bit of  maturity helps but too much of maturity can ruin the fun ) 


( Note :- Will write another comment on CHAPTER 21 , Later )