Adultery Love Sex And War Part 1 : Age Of Darkness

[RCF]

Maturity is when people respect other’s perspectives and give space for them to voice their opinions…whether we agree or not. Like with Featherman. He disagreed with my pov and I am perfectly fine with it and there is a way you disagree with someone which shows your level of maturity. Having different opinions is not a crime nor does it have to be validated by others, only then should you be entitled to have an alternate opinion. If that’s how things work, then any room is not worth spending time on where your opinion is often laughed at and demeaned just because you think differently. 

Let’s recap some conversations from the past in the story…. That probably will help why my thoughts have been consistent on insisting Sonarika’s conversations are important.

"Yes , I get your words Sonarika. But he is not giving you what you want does he?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh come on , you know , the fun part" Meghna raised her eyebrow as both Mouni and Meghna looked at each other and then later on Sonarika.
Sonarika was caught off guard by that statement. She struggled to find an answer for such an invasive question.
"That is...none of your business" Sonarika said regretting her words.
"Awww...its that bad hhuh?" Meghna teased her again.
"I never said it was bad" Sonarika said.
"Come on...your facial expression says it clearly...its been a while between you two isn't it"
"Okay , this conversation is over" 

“Why was she feeling this? What was causing it? Is it because of the lack of spark in her marriage?

“Is that the reason for this strange feeling? Is she feeling this because she is getting attracted to Vikram? No, it cannot be.”
Vikram and Sonarika's hands met and there was as strange spark felt by Sonarika. She felt a strange feeling, that same butterflies in her stomach. It was a strange feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time, especially since Rocky.
This was something she always kept hidden from Hemant because Sonarika knew she never got that feeling with him. She definitely loved him and has feelings for him but that moment, this strange experience, she never felt that with Hemant. Once that connection ended, she felt guilty in her heart knowing that she is feeling betrayed towards Hemant. And that is the last emotion she wants to feel.

Regardless of who and what Hemant is  , she wants to cherish him and keep him a part of her life no matter what. But the recent events and his not too serious nature has seriously started to bother Sonarika.
In a way she is disappointed on how much Hemant had changed. During the initial days of marriage, there was excitement and thrill in Hemant. He was always open for new things and adventure; they spend less time in home and more time exploring the world. And those were some good days she always remembered. But now fatherhood has snatched away that Hemant from her, he does have time for family , but when it comes to them as a couple , the spark was never there. Sonarika would often think that Hemant and herself made the spark on their own in their marriage, but she believed the spark was meant to happen on its own.

“Hemant often teased Sonarika that he was better than Rocky but she never told him that Hemant wasn't that much into sex”
In her mind she felt like Vikram was the perfect combination of Hemant and Rocky, who has the simplicity and attentive attitude of Hemant while looking flamboyant and charming like Rocky.

Ragini:
Even my special first night now feels like he was robbing my chastity and pureness for his lust. Nothing hurt me more than his betrayal. Now if that action broke me like this, imagine what Hemant’s reaction would be when he finds out"

"But regardless, this was my experience. And not every woman can have the same experience as me. You must have a reason, so tell me Sonarika. Why? Why were you attracted to Vikram? What made you tempted him that you were willing to risk your own marriage?"

"With Vicky.... A long-forgotten part of me awakens around him, a part that made me feel alive and enjoy life as it was meant to be. With him, it’s like a world that is perfect. A world where only us exist , our own haven of infatuation , pleasure and all sorts of intertwining. With him I feel a, strange satisfaction and completeness."

"And then there is Hemant......I don't think there are words that are enough to describe him. He is my life , my soul , my heart. He brought me up back to my feet when I was in my lowest. I will agree I never saw a life partner in him , but I transformed myself to be a part of him because I wanted him. He is the greatest symbol of our love , he is everything in our life. And even though I did say that Vicky is an ideal man. Hemant is the man for me, and I feel proud and honored that I have a man like him with whom I started this family. I learned to love him and cherish him, I never tried to find a flaw in him , to me personally he is perfect. But then..."

"That is the problem Ragini , I will admit , I have developed some kind of feelings for Vicky. That I confess , but I also know this simple truth that not even Vicky can love me as much as Hemant does. I see it in his eyes , even this week when he was in his happiest moment , the only way he knew to share it with me was simply kiss me and embrace me. In his eyes , in that depth , I see myself , I see how much I exist in him. But Vicky , he brings out a part of me that was long absent and with him there is nothing but pure bliss and fulfillment for the moment. I am very much confused"

" Women prefer sharing all kinds of emotions with her partner when she is in love. I see the infatuation and attraction you have towards Vikram , I see the glitter in your eyes when you talk about him. But when it comes to Hemant , you went through a cascade of emotions and feelings , showing that Hemant is not just a husband to you , he is your anchor. And I believe you are using Vikram to fill the void where Hemant could not compete with."

"At the end of the day , this is something you personally have to choose Sonarika. All I can say now is there is no happy ending to this scenario. You can only spend the rest of your life with only one man. "

"If you are starting to develop feelings towards Vikram and your relationship with him is your happy place, then I prefer you to tell the truth to Hemant yourself"

Did she tell her feelings to Hemanth? Did she reveal what made her choices she took recently in her life? Did she develop feelings for Vikram? Or She still think Hemanth is the man for her?  
I feel we were devoid of all these answers…. maybe we will get them in future..

Despite all this going in her mind, Finally she chose Hemanth, Not that she has some sort of greatness in doing that and doesn’t make her mistake any less, My point was Sonarika and Hemanth were in love and marriage for more than a decade, They both knew each other in and out or at least they thought they did and yet they also knew their flaws but we readers know more about them than they knew about themselves, we know what Sonarika wants from her marriage and we also know that Hemanth can offer that but holding it back. If Sonarika really wanted to end things with Hemanth and start with Vikram with out cheating, all this would have been perfectly justified in what she was doing, Only because she had an affair instead of coming clean with Hemanth she was in wrong end and deserves the punishment she was getting…Isn’t it? 

If that was the case, Knowing how much pain she gave Hemanth, How much of a big betrayal she gave Hemanth, despite her choosing him over Vikram, not for family this time but because she wanted Hemanth over Vikram, that clarity she did not get from 1st Jabalpur meet, she only got it after her recent meeting with Vikram , she realized from her last dream that she would kill Hemanth if she continues to take this path and that broke her obsession with Vikram…she ended up taking a decision to reveal to Hemanth and set herself free and as well as set Hemanth free from her disrespect that she was causing him by cheating him all this time, According to author she loves Hemanth and according to me she also loves Vikram as well…so if she chose Hemanth over Vikram, wouldn’t it be apt to tell him that she chose him over Vikram and ended things with Vikram…

I understand other readers were saying, It doesn’t matter as this is a chapter for grief, But with grief also comes desperation, when they are desperate not to lose your man, they beg for forgiveness and confess their true feelings, For me ideal path would be that Sonarika confesses to Hemanth beg him to listen to her, and she confesses to Hemanth what she did to Ragini and beg for forgiveness, And clear one thing before they part ways that She still loves Hemanth and chose him over Vikram.
 
Hemanth does not know this, he still thinks Sonarika loves Vikram and she chose him over their marriage…Isn’t that misunderstanding in thinking that she doesn't love him, Yes her mistakes are there, sleeping with some one outside marriage is a terrible mistake and this confession even if it comes, Hemanth is still entitled to punish Sonarika and probably let her go but that decision when it comes after knowing everything would have been apt at this moment, Even though her choosing him over Vikram after cheating him doesn't change anything the outcome as its still considered as a breach of trust and a terrible mistake but it would give proper understanding to her that her mistake was that she did not reveal to Hemanth what she was missing in her marriage nor she seemed to pursue a path to correct their marriage instead she chose an alternative man which is the biggest mistake and that clarity is not given to Sonarika. 

So, there were three things that would have been disclosed before divorce had the conversations happen

1. Sonarika still loves Hemanth and chose him over Vikram
2. Hemanth or other readers or writer still think that it doesn’t matter because her confession is irrelevant despite her choosing Hemanth over Vikram because mistake was already done in breaching the trust, that clarity would have come for Sonarika with the conversations.
3. Hemanth rejecting Sonarika after knowing that she still loves him would be more apt because then he will be punishing her for her mistake and not because he is trying to keep her safe from his impending doom or letting her go as she now loves some other guy. 

I wanted that clarity in writing hence my initial comments for Harry, what he wrote is nothing less fantastic, I am not criticizing him for this, I was merely giving my thoughts as an opinion. And I understand why others are saying it didn’t matter for Hemant because he is not the one to be blamed and I agree, but for Sonarika its life and death situation so her confession even if it is the last thing that she could accomplish would be the option she would take to give some hope to save her marriage whether Hemanth forgives her or not is not relevant here…we all know he won’t ....

I guess asking this seems to be a crime here..

~RCF