03-08-2025, 04:04 PM
After they left, I sat for a while.
Still warm from inside.
Still pulsing a little in the lower belly.
That ass-squeeze at the door…
My navel still remembered it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I sighed once.
Smiled slightly to myself.
Then leaned back on the sofa cushion.
One hand came to my chest automatically.
Just touched over the pallu — right over the bra hook that was still half loose.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Soft press.
Just a check.
Still there.
Still warm under cloth.
Still slightly lifted — like those two rasgullas had swollen from all that sucking.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
But then I remembered.
Prakash.
Poor fellow.
I had told him not to eat his wife’s food.
Not even one bite.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I sat up slowly.
Reached for my mobile from table.
It was under the cushion.
Little hot from charging.
I pressed call.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He picked up immediately.
Not even full ring.
“Hello, madam…”
His voice was soft. Alert.
Too alert — like he was waiting only.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“You ate?” I asked.
“No… madam…”
“Still no?”
I leaned back, surprised.
“Yes madam.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I shook my head.
Such a fool.
“You could’ve at least eaten that roti and subji.”
“No madam… you told not to… so I gave it to Guru.”
“Guru?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Other security. He was sitting on bike.”
“So much obedience, ah?”
“You said madam.”
I gave a short laugh.
Tired but amused.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Okay, come up.”
“Now?”
“You want or not?”
“No no… coming now.”
I cut the call.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My body was slow.
Mind even slower.
But I got up.
Walked to kitchen.
Switched light on with back of finger.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One lizard ran under fridge.
I ignored.
Took out three old plastic dabbas from the upper shelf.
Swiggy ones.
One still had “Shanghai Box” sticker.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I opened fridge.
Chicken curry smell came immediately.
Little strong.
Still spicy.
Still enough for one man.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I poured carefully.
Not too much.
Chicken curry in round plastic dabba.
White rice in big rectangle one.
Rasam in leftover Chinese dabba.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No decorations.
No coriander on top.
Just packed.
Closed each lid with one strong press.
Click. Click. Click.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He’s a guard, not VIP.
Still I packed warm food.
Better than that wife’s cooking.
I tied a rubber band around the three.
Like tiffin parcel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At around 9:20, doorbell rang.
One single ring.
I wiped my hand on pallu.
Walked slowly.
Still feeling Raj’s grip on my backside.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My pallu was still on.
Bra still slightly loose underneath.
But chest was covered.
Face was calm.
Hair messy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I peeped through the door hole.
He was standing there.
Same dirty security uniform.
Brown shirt, buttons stretched.
Cap too loose on head.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I opened the door — but didn’t move aside.
Just halfway.
Like cinema theatre curtain.
“Stand there only,” I said.
He nodded.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Just stood.
Eyes down.
Back straight.
Like college boy waiting outside principal’s office.
I turned back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Went inside.
Picked up parcel from dining table.
Came back.
Handed it through the gap.
“Here,” I said.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He took it.
But didn’t move.
Still standing.
Parcel in hand.
Eyes still not meeting mine.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“What now?” I asked.
My eyebrow lifted.
He looked up slowly.
Eyes gentle.
“Nothing, madam…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Why standing?”
“Doorstep is nice place for you?”
He shook head.
“I thought… maybe I can eat here…”
I crossed arms.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“In my dining table, ah?”
He nodded once. Slowly.
“No,” I said sharply.
“Take it and leave it.”
“Sorry madam.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hungry means what — your legs not working?”
“No madam. I’ll go now.”
“Very good.”
He turned.
Started walking toward lift.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That back…
Looked small suddenly.
Parcel in hand.
Shoulders slightly down.
He didn’t turn back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Didn’t try one more time.
Just walked.
And I stood in doorway.
Watching him for one second.
I felt bad.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A little.
He just wanted hot food on clean plate.
Maybe with water glass.
But… not tonight.
Not after Raj.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My body was tired.
Mind too full.
I didn’t want eyes again on me.
Not his.
Not now.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I closed the door.
Let out one soft breath.
Time was around 9:30 now.
I turned off kitchen light.
Switch clicked loud.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Main fan was spinning slow.
I pulled the cord.
It stopped.
Small creak sound came from motor.
Then silence.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My feet dragged slightly.
Skin sticking to tile.
I walked to bedroom.
One yellow light was on.
I didn’t switch it off.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No one.
Alone.
Only me.
My nightie was hanging from hook behind door.
I untied the saree slowly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pallu first.
It slipped down near side.
Blouse next.
Hook already loose.
Bra was last.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sticky from inside.
Still slightly damp.
Raj’s tongue had marked it.
I folded it fast.
Dropped it on chair.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hair was still sticky near back of neck.
Sweat line under both breasts.
But I didn’t care.
Just pulled nightie over my head.
Pink cotton. Loose.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I laid down slowly.
Bedsheet was cold under me.
Skin prickled once.
I turned to one side.
Pulled pillow under arm.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I closed my eyes.
And thought.
Thought about Raj.
His mouth.
His words.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His squeeze.
His thank you.
And then…
That stupid Prakash.
Maybe still standing with parcel in lift.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I smiled into pillow.
“Stupid fellow…”
Then drifted into silence.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Next day morning, I woke up around 7.
My nightie had gone slightly up my thigh in sleep.
One leg was bare.
One side of the neckline had pulled down.
Shoulder was exposed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Only one strap still holding the cloth from falling more.
I blinked slowly.
Sat up, rubbing one eye with back of hand.
Neckline slipped further.
I tugged it up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chest felt soft under the cloth.
Loose.
Like the breasts were still in rest mode.
Heavy but quiet.
Like they’d forgotten what happened yesterday.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I yawned once.
Then pressed my knees together.
Just out of habit.
Nightie folded between the thighs.
One side riding up till hip bone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I stood slowly.
Feet flat on cold tile.
Left foot first.
Then right.
I tied my hair in a loose bun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rubberband from side drawer.
Three rounds.
Not too tight.
One strand came out anyway.
Hung near ear.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I walked to kitchen.
Fan was still off.
I didn’t turn it on.
Just stood near stove.
Lit it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Made one strong coffee.
Tumbler full.
Extra sugar.
No one to scold today.
No Kartik face to say “too sweet.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I carried it near the window.
Slid open one side.
Air came softly.
I sat on stool.
Legs folded halfway up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tumbler warm in hand.
Steam touched lips.
I sipped slow.
Then again.
Let it sit on tongue.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One ant crawled near the steel tray.
I watched it for one full minute.
Too lazy to kill.
Let it go.
Peaceful morning.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then came breakfast.
I didn’t plate it.
Ate standing near the sink.
One dosa.
Cold chutney.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Didn’t even sit down.
Just chewed, looked out, washed hand.
By post-morning, I changed saree.
Nightie was sweaty from underarm.
Cotton saree — light green.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Simple blouse.
Front hook.
No padding.
Thin fabric.
I didn’t wear petticoat.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Too hot.
Just tucked loosely.
Let it breathe.
Then I took my basket.
Big red plastic one.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I walked out.
Slippers slow.
No makeup.
Face still sleepy.
I reached the gate.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prakash was there.
Same chair.
Same uniform.
Eyes watched me.
But I didn’t look.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Eyes straight.
Face dead.
Expression blank.
He stood up slightly when I passed.
Little movement.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I didn’t blink.
Went ahead.
Inside, got tomatoes.
Beans.
Methi also — little bunch.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Returned home.
He smiled.
I ignored.
Crossed the path.
Opened the grill.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Climbed stairs slow.
Basket heavy now.
My bra strap slipped once.
I tucked it back.
Didn’t react.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Inside house.
Door closed.
Fan on.
Finished sweeping.
Washing vessels.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lunch — simple.
Rice.
Rasam.
Curd.
No pickle.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then lay down on the sofa.
One thin bedsheet.
Folded over stomach.
Arms over head.
Legs falling open slowly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I slept like that.
Peace.
Evening came.
Slowly.
Light changing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I called Appa.
Talked to the kids.
Their voices made me smile.
One said his tooth fell.
One said teacher slipped.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stupid drama.
But made me smile.
Then 7 PM.
Phone rang.
Kartik.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Voice usual.
Work voice.
“I’ll be back Friday evening,” he said.
“Okay,” I said.
That’s all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Few minutes.
Usual talk.
No “miss you.”
No “love you.”
Just status update.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Still I felt calm.
After long time.
A full day alone.
Just me.
And I enjoyed it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Night came.
I changed again.
Faded blue nightie.
One hole near knee.
Didn’t care.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Slept early.
Blanket pulled up to chest.
Pillow soft.
Fan on full.
Eyes closed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then morning again.
Next day.
I woke up slow.
Lazy stretch.
Both arms wide.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then phone pinged.
One message.
From Radhika.
“Work done. Left for registration. Back in 2 weeks.”
I blinked.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Two weeks.
So Raj also gone.
Didn’t tell.
No bye.
Just left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After all that teasing…
Just went.
I smiled slightly.
Then sighed.
“Selfish man,” I said.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Shook head.
But still got up.
Same breakfast.
Same washing.
Mopping.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Folding clothes.
Lunch again.
Alone.
After lunch…
I lay down.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Fan full.
Blanket over stomach.
Dozed off.
Then…
Somehow… woke up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Evening.
Room orange with sun.
I sat up.
Hair messy.
Nightie folded at thighs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One strap down.
I pulled it up.
Picked phone.
Checked messages — nothing.
Checked reels — boring.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Closed it.
Bored.
Felt alone.
Real alone.
But not sad.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Just too much silence.
Then…
That throb.
Under stomach.
That heat.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I pressed thighs together.
It got worse.
Mind got confused.
Images came.
Raj.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His mouth.
His voice.
That squeeze.
That breath.
“Stop it,” I whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then Prakash.
Water tank.
That cock.
My two orgasms.
I opened my eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“No no…” I said.
“Don’t start.”
Then Arjun’s kiss.
That gentle push.
“Ayyyo…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I got up.
Walked to window.
Came back.
Still hot inside.
Sticky below.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pressed legs again.
Worse.
Sat down.
Rubbed forehead.
“I’m not a slut…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“To enjoy is okay…”
“But not run behind…”
I slapped thigh.
“Control.”
“You’re not cheap.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heart was beating.
For no reason.
“I’m not going to Prakash.”
“I’m not calling Arjun.”
“Raj is gone.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“My husband is there.”
“Kartik is mine.”
Even if he finishes fast…
Even if he never kisses proper…
Even if he never looks…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He’s mine.
I closed eyes.
Held breath.
Then I decided.
Tuesday.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Good day.
Temple.
I’ll pray.
Not for money.
Not health.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For control.
I want it back.
I got up.
Walked slow.
Bathroom door opened.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stepped in.
Closed door.
Just stood.
Water not on.
But inside — wet.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I looked in mirror.
Face tired.
Eyes hot.
I whispered —
“Please… no more dreams today.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then reached for bucket.
And started to bathe.
Still warm from inside.
Still pulsing a little in the lower belly.
That ass-squeeze at the door…
My navel still remembered it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I sighed once.
Smiled slightly to myself.
Then leaned back on the sofa cushion.
One hand came to my chest automatically.
Just touched over the pallu — right over the bra hook that was still half loose.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Soft press.
Just a check.
Still there.
Still warm under cloth.
Still slightly lifted — like those two rasgullas had swollen from all that sucking.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
But then I remembered.
Prakash.
Poor fellow.
I had told him not to eat his wife’s food.
Not even one bite.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I sat up slowly.
Reached for my mobile from table.
It was under the cushion.
Little hot from charging.
I pressed call.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He picked up immediately.
Not even full ring.
“Hello, madam…”
His voice was soft. Alert.
Too alert — like he was waiting only.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“You ate?” I asked.
“No… madam…”
“Still no?”
I leaned back, surprised.
“Yes madam.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I shook my head.
Such a fool.
“You could’ve at least eaten that roti and subji.”
“No madam… you told not to… so I gave it to Guru.”
“Guru?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Other security. He was sitting on bike.”
“So much obedience, ah?”
“You said madam.”
I gave a short laugh.
Tired but amused.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Okay, come up.”
“Now?”
“You want or not?”
“No no… coming now.”
I cut the call.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My body was slow.
Mind even slower.
But I got up.
Walked to kitchen.
Switched light on with back of finger.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One lizard ran under fridge.
I ignored.
Took out three old plastic dabbas from the upper shelf.
Swiggy ones.
One still had “Shanghai Box” sticker.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I opened fridge.
Chicken curry smell came immediately.
Little strong.
Still spicy.
Still enough for one man.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I poured carefully.
Not too much.
Chicken curry in round plastic dabba.
White rice in big rectangle one.
Rasam in leftover Chinese dabba.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No decorations.
No coriander on top.
Just packed.
Closed each lid with one strong press.
Click. Click. Click.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He’s a guard, not VIP.
Still I packed warm food.
Better than that wife’s cooking.
I tied a rubber band around the three.
Like tiffin parcel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At around 9:20, doorbell rang.
One single ring.
I wiped my hand on pallu.
Walked slowly.
Still feeling Raj’s grip on my backside.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My pallu was still on.
Bra still slightly loose underneath.
But chest was covered.
Face was calm.
Hair messy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I peeped through the door hole.
He was standing there.
Same dirty security uniform.
Brown shirt, buttons stretched.
Cap too loose on head.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I opened the door — but didn’t move aside.
Just halfway.
Like cinema theatre curtain.
“Stand there only,” I said.
He nodded.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Just stood.
Eyes down.
Back straight.
Like college boy waiting outside principal’s office.
I turned back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Went inside.
Picked up parcel from dining table.
Came back.
Handed it through the gap.
“Here,” I said.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He took it.
But didn’t move.
Still standing.
Parcel in hand.
Eyes still not meeting mine.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“What now?” I asked.
My eyebrow lifted.
He looked up slowly.
Eyes gentle.
“Nothing, madam…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Why standing?”
“Doorstep is nice place for you?”
He shook head.
“I thought… maybe I can eat here…”
I crossed arms.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“In my dining table, ah?”
He nodded once. Slowly.
“No,” I said sharply.
“Take it and leave it.”
“Sorry madam.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hungry means what — your legs not working?”
“No madam. I’ll go now.”
“Very good.”
He turned.
Started walking toward lift.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That back…
Looked small suddenly.
Parcel in hand.
Shoulders slightly down.
He didn’t turn back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Didn’t try one more time.
Just walked.
And I stood in doorway.
Watching him for one second.
I felt bad.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A little.
He just wanted hot food on clean plate.
Maybe with water glass.
But… not tonight.
Not after Raj.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My body was tired.
Mind too full.
I didn’t want eyes again on me.
Not his.
Not now.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I closed the door.
Let out one soft breath.
Time was around 9:30 now.
I turned off kitchen light.
Switch clicked loud.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Main fan was spinning slow.
I pulled the cord.
It stopped.
Small creak sound came from motor.
Then silence.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My feet dragged slightly.
Skin sticking to tile.
I walked to bedroom.
One yellow light was on.
I didn’t switch it off.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
No one.
Alone.
Only me.
My nightie was hanging from hook behind door.
I untied the saree slowly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pallu first.
It slipped down near side.
Blouse next.
Hook already loose.
Bra was last.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sticky from inside.
Still slightly damp.
Raj’s tongue had marked it.
I folded it fast.
Dropped it on chair.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hair was still sticky near back of neck.
Sweat line under both breasts.
But I didn’t care.
Just pulled nightie over my head.
Pink cotton. Loose.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I laid down slowly.
Bedsheet was cold under me.
Skin prickled once.
I turned to one side.
Pulled pillow under arm.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I closed my eyes.
And thought.
Thought about Raj.
His mouth.
His words.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His squeeze.
His thank you.
And then…
That stupid Prakash.
Maybe still standing with parcel in lift.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I smiled into pillow.
“Stupid fellow…”
Then drifted into silence.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Next day morning, I woke up around 7.
My nightie had gone slightly up my thigh in sleep.
One leg was bare.
One side of the neckline had pulled down.
Shoulder was exposed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Only one strap still holding the cloth from falling more.
I blinked slowly.
Sat up, rubbing one eye with back of hand.
Neckline slipped further.
I tugged it up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chest felt soft under the cloth.
Loose.
Like the breasts were still in rest mode.
Heavy but quiet.
Like they’d forgotten what happened yesterday.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I yawned once.
Then pressed my knees together.
Just out of habit.
Nightie folded between the thighs.
One side riding up till hip bone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I stood slowly.
Feet flat on cold tile.
Left foot first.
Then right.
I tied my hair in a loose bun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rubberband from side drawer.
Three rounds.
Not too tight.
One strand came out anyway.
Hung near ear.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I walked to kitchen.
Fan was still off.
I didn’t turn it on.
Just stood near stove.
Lit it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Made one strong coffee.
Tumbler full.
Extra sugar.
No one to scold today.
No Kartik face to say “too sweet.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I carried it near the window.
Slid open one side.
Air came softly.
I sat on stool.
Legs folded halfway up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tumbler warm in hand.
Steam touched lips.
I sipped slow.
Then again.
Let it sit on tongue.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One ant crawled near the steel tray.
I watched it for one full minute.
Too lazy to kill.
Let it go.
Peaceful morning.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then came breakfast.
I didn’t plate it.
Ate standing near the sink.
One dosa.
Cold chutney.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Didn’t even sit down.
Just chewed, looked out, washed hand.
By post-morning, I changed saree.
Nightie was sweaty from underarm.
Cotton saree — light green.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Simple blouse.
Front hook.
No padding.
Thin fabric.
I didn’t wear petticoat.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Too hot.
Just tucked loosely.
Let it breathe.
Then I took my basket.
Big red plastic one.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I walked out.
Slippers slow.
No makeup.
Face still sleepy.
I reached the gate.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prakash was there.
Same chair.
Same uniform.
Eyes watched me.
But I didn’t look.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Eyes straight.
Face dead.
Expression blank.
He stood up slightly when I passed.
Little movement.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I didn’t blink.
Went ahead.
Inside, got tomatoes.
Beans.
Methi also — little bunch.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Returned home.
He smiled.
I ignored.
Crossed the path.
Opened the grill.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Climbed stairs slow.
Basket heavy now.
My bra strap slipped once.
I tucked it back.
Didn’t react.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Inside house.
Door closed.
Fan on.
Finished sweeping.
Washing vessels.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lunch — simple.
Rice.
Rasam.
Curd.
No pickle.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then lay down on the sofa.
One thin bedsheet.
Folded over stomach.
Arms over head.
Legs falling open slowly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I slept like that.
Peace.
Evening came.
Slowly.
Light changing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I called Appa.
Talked to the kids.
Their voices made me smile.
One said his tooth fell.
One said teacher slipped.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stupid drama.
But made me smile.
Then 7 PM.
Phone rang.
Kartik.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Voice usual.
Work voice.
“I’ll be back Friday evening,” he said.
“Okay,” I said.
That’s all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Few minutes.
Usual talk.
No “miss you.”
No “love you.”
Just status update.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Still I felt calm.
After long time.
A full day alone.
Just me.
And I enjoyed it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Night came.
I changed again.
Faded blue nightie.
One hole near knee.
Didn’t care.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Slept early.
Blanket pulled up to chest.
Pillow soft.
Fan on full.
Eyes closed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then morning again.
Next day.
I woke up slow.
Lazy stretch.
Both arms wide.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then phone pinged.
One message.
From Radhika.
“Work done. Left for registration. Back in 2 weeks.”
I blinked.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Two weeks.
So Raj also gone.
Didn’t tell.
No bye.
Just left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After all that teasing…
Just went.
I smiled slightly.
Then sighed.
“Selfish man,” I said.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Shook head.
But still got up.
Same breakfast.
Same washing.
Mopping.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Folding clothes.
Lunch again.
Alone.
After lunch…
I lay down.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Fan full.
Blanket over stomach.
Dozed off.
Then…
Somehow… woke up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Evening.
Room orange with sun.
I sat up.
Hair messy.
Nightie folded at thighs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
One strap down.
I pulled it up.
Picked phone.
Checked messages — nothing.
Checked reels — boring.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Closed it.
Bored.
Felt alone.
Real alone.
But not sad.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Just too much silence.
Then…
That throb.
Under stomach.
That heat.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I pressed thighs together.
It got worse.
Mind got confused.
Images came.
Raj.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His mouth.
His voice.
That squeeze.
That breath.
“Stop it,” I whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then Prakash.
Water tank.
That cock.
My two orgasms.
I opened my eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“No no…” I said.
“Don’t start.”
Then Arjun’s kiss.
That gentle push.
“Ayyyo…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I got up.
Walked to window.
Came back.
Still hot inside.
Sticky below.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Pressed legs again.
Worse.
Sat down.
Rubbed forehead.
“I’m not a slut…”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“To enjoy is okay…”
“But not run behind…”
I slapped thigh.
“Control.”
“You’re not cheap.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heart was beating.
For no reason.
“I’m not going to Prakash.”
“I’m not calling Arjun.”
“Raj is gone.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“My husband is there.”
“Kartik is mine.”
Even if he finishes fast…
Even if he never kisses proper…
Even if he never looks…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He’s mine.
I closed eyes.
Held breath.
Then I decided.
Tuesday.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Good day.
Temple.
I’ll pray.
Not for money.
Not health.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For control.
I want it back.
I got up.
Walked slow.
Bathroom door opened.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stepped in.
Closed door.
Just stood.
Water not on.
But inside — wet.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I looked in mirror.
Face tired.
Eyes hot.
I whispered —
“Please… no more dreams today.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then reached for bucket.
And started to bathe.
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