Adultery Priya Didi

[shailu4ever]

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Still Learning to Write
 
I know me.
I know I’m not the best writer.
I know I’m not even a better one.
Not a good one either —
and if I’m being honest,
I know I’m not a writer at all.
Just someone trying to become one.
 
I want to write,
even though I don’t know how yet.
I don’t claim to be good —
not polished, not practiced, not ready —
just someone learning to shape her thoughts into words.
 
I’ve never called myself a writer.
I’m only beginning to learn,
taking small steps, one sentence at a time.
 
I have time —
More than most.

I am a stay-at-home wife
Lonely and bored
with space in the day
and stories in my head.
 
So I chose writing.
I thought erotica would be easy,
but I was wrong.
Even desire takes discipline to write.
Even passion needs patience.
 
It’s only been a few weeks,
not even a month and a half.
And I know — truly —
That no real skill can bloom overnight.


I’m a slow learner,
one of the backbenchers
who needs to hear things twice,
read things three times,
and still wonders if she got it right.
 
I don’t know all the rules.
I’m still figuring out punctuation —
where to pause,
where to stop,
how to shape a sentence
so it breathes the way it should.
But I’m trying.
 
I’m not one of those hidden geniuses in disguise.
I’m just someone willing to try.
 
My writing feels childish,
like a little drawing made with crayons —
a car with square wheels,
a train with a crooked smile.
But it’s mine.
And I made it with heart.
 
I’m grateful for those who encourage me,
who tell me I can grow,
who give me a reason to believe.
 
So I write —
as often as I can,
as fully as I can.
It may take me longer,
but I’m not giving up.
 
This is my voice,
still unshaped,
still unsure.
But maybe in time,
it will find its rhythm.
 
Some have noticed
that the heroes in my stories
are strong —
handsome, confident,
full of charm and perfect timing.
 
Yes, I chose them that way.
 
Not because I believe all men are like that,
but because, right now,
it feels safer to write about them.
 
When you're still learning,
when your voice is unsure,
it's easier to build a world
where the characters are steady,
certain, larger than life.
 
I didn’t want to risk too much
by writing messy, complicated people —
not yet.
So I began with the kind of heroes
who feel safe to write,
who give me space to focus
on the rhythm of storytelling
before diving into the chaos of realism.
 
Is that wrong?
It might be.
But still,
this felt easier to start with —
a way to begin without fear,
to stay steady while I find my voice.
 
Maybe one day,
my heroes will grow messier,
more real, more flawed.
But for now,
this is how I begin.
 
I know there will be critics —
some fair,
some harsh,
some who may cut deep
without meaning to.
And others,
maybe,
just trying to be hard.
 
Either way,
I will have to face them.
Their words may sting,
but I’m not surprised.
This is life.
This is writing.
 
And I am well aware of it.
 
Still,
I will continue writing.
 
I ask only this:
stay with me while I learn.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be great,
or even good enough,
but I promise —
I’m giving everything I have.
 
Please don’t compare my words
to good stories or flawless prose.
I’m not there.
I may never be.
And honestly —
I’m okay with that.
Not every voice needs to echo from the top shelf.
Some stories are meant to be quiet,
growing in small corners,
read by kind eyes who understand.
 
This is real.
This is honest.
And this is me —
Still Learning to Write




-- Shailu

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