Adultery Priya Didi

[shailu4ever]

Please read the following with respect to the three sections I have chosen above.

Ok, its the phone. Nothing wrong with short crisp sentences, its the one sentence in line with double line spacing that gets to me. I'm more old college and think the that comma, semicolon and dash were invented for a reason. To each their own. I suspected it might be a phone.


If you read my original comment again, I granted you the choice of characters who you would examine in more detail. But the husband's character can be built up by letting the wife think about him - both what she admires and what gets her goat. Nothing wrong with the chosen focus. Stay with it. But remember, nothing is black and white. In a good story about women, who are not sluts by nature, succumbing to extra-marital affairs, the mental struggle, both leading up to the transgression and after the act, is what makes the story stand apart from normal smut. None of the shenanigans you are describing in your stories are going to threaten the marriage. None of the players are inclined for that. So take care how you paint the woman's mind, when you give her POV. Thats all we have. One does not need the husband's POV to get a sense of his place in her world. Let me recommend a few adultery stories - A Wife' Anxiety by game40it on this forum, The Seduction of Lust by game40it in the Tamil section of this forum(if you can't read Tamil like I can't), rightclick on his story list page and translate to English; you will have to do the same to read the story) and another called The Neglected Wife on a blog on holisticwisdom. All are hot as hell and deal with similar issues. But they depict how the husband hover's in the wife's mind before, during and after the act(and in two cases the stud is again better endowed). I found this treatment more authentic. In your stories the husband is completely missing from the woman's mind space, which it why I find your POV treatment incomplete, bordering on juvenile. And I am not looking for a prudish outcomes here, because in two of these three, the lady actually transgresses, and rather cruelly in one of them.


And, finally, that is exactly why you didn't have to fall into the cliche trap of better endowed stud and emasculated small dicked husband. If your point is that its loneliness and non-appreciation along with a bit of boredom with the familiar, that's driving you married women characters and the male protagonist is able to establish a mental connect with them, size should not matter. Coital satisfaction can happen when the two get connected and share something deeper than the extent of penetration and they both know what they are doing. No matter how much porn one sees - unless you have been with the opposite sex, you have no idea what to do. Looks like your guys have a lot of prior experience(no hint of that in the story) or learnt the art of seduction in their mother's womb.  I know the predominantly male audience here delights in the coke-can thick, 8" deep, cervix-smashing action employed by lesser writers to evoke a salacious response from their readers, but allow me to call your attention to Podrick, Tyrion Lannister's page in GoT. He was a small man but had quite a reputation with the ladies of Fleabottom! My point it that you are short changing yourself by employing these cliches. I don't give such a critique to run-of-the-mill smut writers normally. It lessens your story rather than enhance it.



Another thing, aren't all your married female characters following a similar arc. Even an Olympic gold medalist sharp shooter doesn't hit the bullseye every time. Here your male protagonists are like champion bowler, knocking down all pins in every strike. Hope you do better next time you go down so deep on the POV approach. Or just write a smutty rollicking raunchy fuckfest instead. Ciao!

Noted.

Just an FYI, Ravi never had any romantic encounter with any women yet.

I am new to writing sir, please go easy on me. 

I know I am not good sir. 

I am trying my best. 

Please excuse me and my stories sir.



-- Shailu