Adultery Priya Didi

[shailu4ever]

Are all the husband here also small dicked and Ravi the massive stud ... like in your other story ... just asking.

You write well and and your attention to detail paints a vivid picture of the space, clothing and the thoughts driving each character in each scene. But your writing style is too staccato for my liking; takes too much effort. I don't know whether its by design or its a result of writing on a mobile. Wish it flowed like normal prose, paragraphs and all. Too bad - for me.

Wishing you all the best for both your stories. I'll skim through at intervals to get a sense of where the character arcs are. Let me leave you with something to mull over. Your talent does not deserve you falling into cliche's to service the norm. Its ok to focus on the characters in play, but morality, societal family values, and reputation are not the only millstones around a married woman's neck. Their partner's qualities and value addition in their lives factor in too. Of course, like some men are womanizers, some women are sluts, whose every thought is auto-wired to weave a justifying shroud for their transgression. The rational brain can justify anything, but the deep seated nature peeps through every now and then. That's missing in your well crafted stories. Dull unattentive boring husbands, lilly-white pure-at-heart perfect suburban wives pining for attention and companionship, and shy young men with an uncanny empathy who know just which buttons to press - its done and dusted with for a couple of centuries. Consider trying something different, with well rounded characters. You have the talent to do it, once you've gone around the mill with these two.

Hi khemucha

Thanks a lot for taking the time to give such detailed feedback.

This is actually my first time writing, so I really didn’t expect to get everything right on the first try.

I truly appreciate your honest thoughts.

Constructive criticism helps me learn and improve.

About my writing style: I currently write everything on my phone.

I don’t have a computer with me right now

And I can’t really use my brother’s laptop for this.

Once I’m back in the U.S., I’ll have access to my full setup and can write more comfortably on my own computer.

That said, I personally enjoy short sentences and simpler structure, especially when I’m reading on my phone.

I totally get that not everyone likes that

Some people prefer longer, more detailed paragraphs.

I respect that, and I’m glad you shared your view.

Just wanted to explain why I write the way I do for now.



About the characters, yes, the husbands are definitely important too.

But if I try to give equal attention to everyone’s perspective, the story gets way longer and harder to manage, especially for me as a beginner.

Right now, just keeping one narrative going is already a big challenge!

Maybe in the future, give me a year or two and I might be able to handle multiple perspectives like Amit’s or Vamsi’s.


Honestly, I’m just writing for fun and entertainment.

Like most movies, my stories are meant to be light, emotional, and enjoyable.

I’m not trying to write a deep, serious novel.

Just something that makes me happy and hopefully brings a little joy to others too.



If the husbands feel a bit flat, it’s because I’m writing from the wives’ point of view.

And I’ve seen in real life how some women feel ignored or underappreciated in their marriages.

They stay home, waiting for a little attention.

When someone finally listens to them or shows they care, it really means a lot.

That’s the kind of emotion I’m trying to show through these stories.



Anyway, thanks again for reading and for your thoughtful feedback.


I really do appreciate it!


Warm regards
 
-- Shailu