Adultery Awaited desires - Completed

[Haran000]

5. Will

The year after my elder brother's marriage, a son, Vedanth, graced our family. I’d visit home every fortnight, found my joy in playing with the little one. Sandhya, initially delicate, blossomed into a fuller figure after childbirth, yet her beauty remained undiminished; she was as captivating as ever.

A shift occurred, subtle yet profound. Perhaps I’d matured, or perhaps Vedanth’s arrival marked a new era, but from that day forward, the easy intimacy I once shared with Sandhya, the chance to sleep beside her, simply vanished. The closeness we once had began to fade.

I found myself stealing glances whenever the opportunity arose—at her beauty, her curves, the gentle swell of her waist. I knew, with an unspoken certainty, that my sister-in-law was aware of my lingering gaze. She knew that I knew she knew. And with a strange, layered understanding, she knew that I knew that she knew that I knew.

During my graduation, our old home was razed, making way for a new structure my brother built with a bank loan. The new house was a haven of comfort: a sleek LED TV, plush sofas, soft mattresses, three spacious bedrooms, and all the modern amenities one could desire. A vast living hall and a grand dining table completed the picture.

After intermediate, I embarked on my degree, a period marked by an abundance of newfound freedom. Movies and casual hangouts became regular fixtures in my life, though I never allowed myself to excessively bunk college.

My classroom held a peculiar arrangement: two rows of benches, one for girls and one for boys. The first bench in the boys’ row, inexplicably, was always empty. The other boys, it seemed, were gripped by a strange fear of sitting at the front. I, however, with the quiet confidence of being the sole topper, claimed that space for myself, alone.

As for the girls in my college, their descriptions would elude me, for I never truly observed them. A profound shyness enveloped me whenever I was in their presence.

One day, while retrieving my first-year degree memo from the records room, a girl approached me. "Could you please look for mine too?" she asked, a plea in her voice. But shyness, an unwelcome companion, seized me. I didn’t even looked at her. "No, you can look for yourselves," I mumbled, quickly located my own certificate, and made a swift exit.

A curious paradox existed within me: a peculiar weakness for girls, yet an inability to engage with them. My true desire manifested online, where I’d pore over images of actresses with an intense, unspoken longing. 

We all have our eccentricities, don't we? 

The only person I could converse with, devoid of any shyness, was my vadhina Sandhya.

My passion for studying was undeniable, a fervor particularly ignited by Physics. So profound was this obsession that one day, when our lecturer struggled to articulate a topic, I found myself striding to the blackboard, explaining it with a clarity that stunned everyone. Teaching, it seemed, came naturally to me. Even in my youth, the aspiration to become a teacher had simmered within. That evening, a friend, half-joking, half-taunting, remarked, "How did you manage to stand in front of the board without looking at the girls even once?"

In my final year, my family insisted I stay home and commute to college by bus. My aunt and sister-in-law, concerned by my thinning frame—the outside food clearly disagreed with me—argued that a spare room at home already existed. So, with my books and theory papers packed, I moved back.

My brother, in a gesture of generosity, bought me an Android phone. One night, as I emerged from the bathroom, earphones still plugged in, Sandhya spotted me. Startled, I fumbled, folding the earphones and shoving them into my pocket before hurrying into the house.

The next morning, over breakfast, she playfully chided me, a laugh in her voice. "Aren't you ashamed? Ugh, you're becoming spoiled." 

I had no words, choosing silence as my only defense.

Evenings were spent playing with Vedanth, his toys scattered around us. My sister-in-law found immense joy in watching me interact with him. My brother was often at work, and I noticed the toll housework and caring for the little one took on her; she often appeared utterly exhausted.

I had my own room now, complete with a mattress and a study table. A long craving for a cigarette resurfaced, so after dropping Vedanth at the anganwadi, I stopped at a shop on my way home. The thought of being seen by anyone I knew, my reputation ruined, sent a shiver down my spine. In town, where my family wasn't present, I felt a certain daring; not here. I slipped inside, retreated to my bathroom within the room, lit the cigarette, and took a deep puff.

"Hari, open the door…" Sandhya’s voice, reached me through the closed door of my room.

Startled, I instinctively flung the cigarette into the toilet and flushed.

I opened the door, and in the very next instant, She had slapped me hard.

"You donkey, what are you doing inside?" she demanded, her voice laced with anger.

"I was in the bathroom, vadhina?" I stammered, bewildered.

"Yes, what were you doing?" Her gaze was accusing.

As I wondered how she knew, a sudden realization dawned. The bathroom ventilator opened into the alley behind the house. My smoke must have wafted into the alley, where Sandhya, hanging clothes, had undoubtedly seen it.

My head drooped, my face a mask of gloom.

"How long have you been doing these sneaky things?" she continued, her voice sharper now. "Is there any studying happening, or is it all going down the drain...?"

"I'm studying, vadhina, but this..." My voice trailed off.

"Just because I'm not paying attention, you're not behaving properly anymore," she cut in. 

"What are these bad habits? Should I tell your brother?"

"No. No, please..." I pleaded, my voice barely a whisper.

Just then, my aunt arrived.

"What happened, why are you scolding him?" Rajamani inquired.

Sandhya, still annoyed, glanced at me before turning to my aunt. "Nothing, Auntie..." She then retreated into their room.

Sandhya’s displeasure at my smoking was palpable; she remained angry with me for many days, barely speaking to me at home. It took numerous apologies on my part before she finally returned to her usual self.

The lockdown descended upon us all, a consequence of the Covid-19 pandemic.

During this period, my brother was home, and I found myself deprived of even the simple pleasure of looking at Sandhya. Fear of my brother noticing held me captive. This time, however, became an opportunity to engage with Vedanth. I taught him alphabets, guiding his little hand as he traced the letters. Sandhya often joined us, and those moments of conversation with her felt incredibly comforting.

Driven by the fear of Corona, my sister-in-law maintained an impeccable level of cleanliness at home, diligently caring for the child. The lockdown also brought an unexpected benefit for me: I, who had always been thin, gained a little weight. My graduation, however, became a chaotic affair amidst the pandemic. Online applications for university selections for post-graduation began. I meticulously filled out the form for a Masters in Physics. As I immersed myself in studying for those entrance exams at home, May two thousand twenty arrived, marking my brother's wedding anniversary.

Waking that morning, I found my sister-in-law radiant. She had performed puja and was adorned in a silk saree, a deep red that enhanced her beauty beyond words. That day, the house was filled with the sweet aroma of Gulab Jamun.

The grip of Corona had loosened its hold on our village, and a semblance of normalcy had returned. The entire family, taking careful precautions, visited the temple and returned home. Upon our arrival, I meticulously used hand sanitizers and thoroughly washed my hands and feet.

My sister-in-law retreated to her room to change, emerging shortly after in a lighter Chanderi cotton saree. The white saree, with its mud-colored border, beautifully complemented her wheatish complexion.

As she stepped out, her gaze met mine first. I quickly averted my eyes, unsure why she had looked at me. I knew she enjoyed my admiration at her; that was a given. But today, something new flickered in her gaze.

She turned her back to me and walked towards the kitchen. And then I saw it: her blouse. She typically wore blouses that were a hand’s breadth wide, covering half her back. Today, however, she wore one with only a two-inch strap, revealing her back like pristine white butter. Uff… A wave of something akin to madness washed over me.

I leaned back on the sofa, then watched as my brother, after our aunt had settled in front of the TV, tiptoed into the kitchen. I rose and moved silently to the kitchen doorway, peeking in.

My brother enveloped my sister-in-law from behind, his lips finding the curve of her neck.

She playfully struck him as she turned, and he held her face, pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Mmm…" my brother murmured.

"Oh, stop it. What’s this romance here?" Sandhya said, though a smile played on her lips.
He hugged her again, showering kisses on her neck.

"Mmm… Enough, Auntie might come," she whispered.

Just then, Vedanth emerged from their room, crying. I quickly settled back onto the sofa, pretending to be engrossed, and they came out as if nothing had happened.

My brother and sister-in-law were clearly enjoying a romantic moment, but I couldn't shake my sister-in-law’s earlier gaze. I knew she liked me looking at her, but I couldn't fathom if she sought some kind of unspoken approval from me.

In the afternoon, Sandhya prepared a chicken biryani that tasted as if it had come from a master chef. I devoured it with gusto.

Later, peddamma, who hadn't been present since morning, asked me to take her and Vedanth on bike to our relatives' house in the village. Sandhya and brother would stay home, and we would have dinner at our relatives' place, returning at night. Ugh… This, I realized, was my brother’s cunning plan, a magician’s trick to ensure their privacy.

By the time we returned from our relatives' house, Sandhya, who I expected to be in a saree, was instead wearing a nighty. And there, on her neck, was a distinct bite mark. He must have bitten her. Would he really hold back? Sandhya was like soft cheese, so yielding.

She caught me staring at the mark and, embarrassed, pulled her braid forward, as if to conceal it. Perhaps she knew that I understood exactly what it was.

Adding to the torment, my sister-in-law looked incredibly desirable in the nighty. Her breasts were high and prominent, uff… I couldn't bear to look for long. I retreated to my room.

Ten, eleven, even past midnight, sleep eluded me, ignited by the fire Sandhya had unknowingly kindled. Why did I dislike my brother and sister-in-law romancing like that? Why did I feel this burning desire to usurp my brother’s place? These thoughts consumed me.

I, who once reveled in secretly gazing at my sister-in-law, now craved something more, something deeper, something forbidden. I left my room and sat on the sofa, clutching my head in my hands.

My thoughts were wrong, utterly wrong. What were these desires concerning my brother's wife? She was beautiful, and I was looking—wasn't that enough? Was I truly becoming such a scoundrel to lust on my brother’s wife?

All this introspection only fueled my lust further. I wished, with a desperate longing, for a chance to sleep next to my sister-in-law again, just like before.

Just then, the sound of their room door opening reached me. What had happened five years ago seemed to be replaying. My sister-in-law came out and saw me.

"What are you thinking, Hari? Haven't you slept yet?" she asked, her voice soft.

"I couldn’t sleep," I replied, my voice hoarse.

"Why? Close your eyes and lie down, it will come."

"No."

She came and sat next to me, gently guiding me to lean on her shoulder.

"What happened, Hari? You usually sleep early, right?"

"Nothing vadhina."

"Do you want to sleep next to your vadhina?"

Her question startled me; it was the very reason sleep eluded me. Without a word, I rested my head on her lap. She stroked my hair, then pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"I know, dear," she murmured. "You should have come and asked, right?"

"So, that...?" I began, confused.

"You're not talking to me like before. You changed after going to the hostel."

"No vadhina, it's not like that."

"Then what is it? At least today, I thought you'd say my saree was nice."

"You looked super hot in that white saree.." I blurted out.

She playfully slapped my cheek. "Is that how you talk to your vadhina?"

"I said what I felt," I defended, a mischievous glint in my eye. "And don't you know vadhina, that you're sexy?"

"There, again..." she sighed, though a hint of a smile touched her lips.

"Haha… Sorry."

"Hmm…"

I slowly placed my hand on her waist. "What gift did brother give you?"

"He bought that saree."

"Hmm, what did you give him then?"

She blushed, a delightful flush spreading across her cheeks. "I gave him something…"

"Yes, you must have given it after we left to relatives place in the afternoon, right?" I teased.

"Ugh, stop it… How can you say things like that?" she exclaimed, feigning exasperation.

"Hahaha… That's why your neck is red," I continued, pressing my advantage.

"Hey, stop talking."

I didn’t know how she felt when I spoke to her like that, but something within me ignited.

"Sorry, vadhina," I said, a sudden wave of propriety washing over me. "I shouldn't talk to you like this."

"It's okay, dear. It feels good when you tease me like that."

"It's been a long time, vadhina, being with you like this. I wanted to ask, but I didn't."

"Hmm…"

For a while, I lay on her thighs, my eyes closed, the warmth of her presence lulling me. 

Sleep began to claim me.

"Hari…" she whispered.

"Huh, vadhina?"

"Did you quit smoking?"

"Forgive me."

"Have a puff once in a while, dear, don't get too used to it, it's not good."

"I thought you'd scold me."

"Of course I would. You're so shameless that even after being hit, you didn't quit. What will you quit, you donkey?"

"Are you angry?"

"Of course. If I see you doing that in front of me again, I'll kill you."

"Then I'll smoke without you seeing me."

"Ugh, you rascal, you have no sense."

"Haha… Thanks for not telling them."

"Hmm… Go to sleep."

She stroked my hair gently, a soothing gesture meant to usher me into slumber.
Just then, my brother entered. She subtly gestured for him to be quiet.

After that, I don't know when I finally drifted off. When I woke in the morning, I found myself on the mattress in my brother’s room, next to Vedanth. This meant I had indeed slept next to Sandhya last night.

Rubbing my eyes, I ventured outside and heard whispers emanating from the kitchen.

"What's your anger about now?" Sandhya's voice.

"Tell me, is he still a child?" Santosh, my brother, retorted.

"He's older, but he's still a child to us, right? Anyway, why are you so jealous?"

"Even now, it doesn't look good for me to see him putting his hand or leg on you like that."

What? I still hadn't gotten rid of that habit? No, no, I'd lost that habit in intermediate itself.

In that case, why would I put my leg on my sister-in-law?

"Oh, what are you saying?" Sandhya scoffed. "You talk as if he intentionally put his leg on me."

"I'm not saying that. You're spoiling him too much."

"So what if I am, go, you're getting late."

I quickly turned back and feigned sleep in bed, anticipating my brother's approach.

I knew he came.

"Hey lazybones, wake up," he said, kicking my butt. May his anger burn.

"Oh… Bro, what's wrong?"

"Get up, you donkey, go brush your teeth… vadhina is making tea."

“It wasn't until three more months had passed 

that the mystery of that night, 

how my leg had found its way onto Sandhya,

a habit long broken, a will of my vadhina, was finally revealed.. ”

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