25-06-2025, 01:41 AM
But her chest had tightened.
Something inside her had curled up, some combination of hurt and embarrassment and… confusion.
She had been the one to say it didn’t matter.
That she didn’t mind if something was happening between them.
But she had lied.
She didn’t know she had lied until that moment.
She bit her lower lip, hard.
Not to cry.
Just to ground herself.
Her thoughts spiraled
Images of Abhi laughing with her at the park,
His voice when he called her brave,
His silence when she brushed against him on the scooter.
Was it all one-sided?
Or worse… was she just a placeholder?
She buried her face in her arms.
And it hit her, not just jealousy, not just ache.
It was something deeper: the fear that she had let herself feel too much, too fast.
That she had started to imagine something that wasn’t hers to imagine.
That she had read kindness and attention as signs of something more.
That her sister… may have gotten there first.
She sat there for a long time, unmoving, letting the city pass outside her window.
Eventually, she pulled the thin throw over her shoulders and slid into bed, facing the wall.
She didn’t turn off the lamp.
She needed light tonight.
She needed something that didn’t shift or surprise her.
Because everything else had.
Something inside her had curled up, some combination of hurt and embarrassment and… confusion.
She had been the one to say it didn’t matter.
That she didn’t mind if something was happening between them.
But she had lied.
She didn’t know she had lied until that moment.
She bit her lower lip, hard.
Not to cry.
Just to ground herself.
Her thoughts spiraled
Images of Abhi laughing with her at the park,
His voice when he called her brave,
His silence when she brushed against him on the scooter.
Was it all one-sided?
Or worse… was she just a placeholder?
She buried her face in her arms.
And it hit her, not just jealousy, not just ache.
It was something deeper: the fear that she had let herself feel too much, too fast.
That she had started to imagine something that wasn’t hers to imagine.
That she had read kindness and attention as signs of something more.
That her sister… may have gotten there first.
She sat there for a long time, unmoving, letting the city pass outside her window.
Eventually, she pulled the thin throw over her shoulders and slid into bed, facing the wall.
She didn’t turn off the lamp.
She needed light tonight.
She needed something that didn’t shift or surprise her.
Because everything else had.
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