24-03-2025, 10:05 PM
It was Thursday morning, around 10:15.
The house had finally settled.
The floor was swept, the last batch of clothes folded, and the cotton saree clung lightly to Pavitra’s waist—sticky from the heat that had already crept in. She tied her hair into a loose bun, a few strands escaping near her ears, and finally let herself sit down on the edge of the sofa.
One sip of coffee. That’s all she wanted.
But just as the cup touched her lips, her phone buzzed.
Kavita Calling...
A smile flickered on her face.
Pavitra tapped the screen and held it to her ear. “Look who’s calling now.”
K: “Dei! As if you’re better! No call, no message. If I didn’t call, you’d have vanished off the planet.”
Pavitra chuckled. “It’s not like that pa. Mornings are crazy no? Lunch box, uniforms, breakfast… then cleaning.”
K: “Ugh, same here. My girl cried this morning because her water bottle didn’t have the cartoon sticker.”
Pavitra winced. “Oh no…”
K: “And I was yelling like a fish market aunty, while my husband? Sleeping like a prince in Taj Hotel.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Men are like that only.”
K: “Exactly. So what are you doing now? Free-a?”
P: “Just having coffee. Sitting for two minutes. My legs are killing me.”
K: “Good. I called only to gossip. My brain is dying without it.”
Pavitra smiled into the phone. “What happened now?”
K: “Yesterday night Varun was in full-on romance mode.”
She raised her brows. “Suddenly?”
K: “Suddenly only! I was folding clothes, and he came from behind and hugged me.”
Pavitra laughed softly. “At least he fed you?”
K: “Skipped dinner pa. He was all over me. Sweet fellow. Started kissing and everything…”
She felt her cheeks warm. “Don’t give me full details… I’m still sipping coffee.”
K: “Wait wait, I’m being serious. Yesterday was different. He wasn’t rushing. It was… slow. He actually lasted more than ten minutes, I swear.”
There was a small pause.
P: “…Really?”
K: “Yes pa. I even checked the time after. Usually it’s two minutes, light off, snore. But yesterday… full 10 minutes. Soft. Patient. Proper.”
P: “Oh… okay…”
In Pavitra Mind:
Fifteen minutes? Is that even possible?
Kartik finishes before I even understand what’s happening. I thought that was normal. Isn’t it?
She said slow... proper...
What does that even feel like?
Should I ask her? No… no need. Why compare? Kartik is a good husband. He takes care of me. He never hurts me.
But still…
“I even… felt the full thing, you know?” Kavita added. “The release. Don’t know how to explain.”
Pavitra kept her voice steady. “Hmm… lucky you.”
K: “What about you? How’s Kartik? Still in work calls day and night?”
P: “Yeah. Work is nonstop. Sometimes Friday night he doesn’t even come home. But he tries. He’s sweet. We just… don’t get much time.”
K: “You both are always so calm. Like two grandmas.”
Pavitra laughed. “Drama-a? We’re like those old couples who sit silently watching TV.”
K: “Come on, pa. You both are still young! Spice it up a little.”
P: “He’s always tired. Even when he’s home, he’s thinking about some issue at office.”
In Pavitra mind again:
But I’ve never blamed him. He’s not a bad man. He just… doesn’t know.
And I… never asked.
I didn’t even know what to ask.
Amma never said anything. college friends never spoke of this.
Only Kavita… opens these doors in my mind.
“I keep telling Varun,” Kavita went on, “Even once in a while is enough. Just… make us feel something. Yesterday I felt like… I don’t know… like a woman.”
Pavitra’s voice softened. “I’m happy for you.”
K: “Don’t lie. You’re thinking ‘why not me?’ right?”
She laughed. “No da. You deserve it.”
K: “Don’t stay too comfortable with silence, pa. We’re moms, wives… not corpses. You should feel alive too.”
P: “I haven’t forgotten. I just… don’t think about it much.”
K: “That’s the problem. Now you have time. Kids are gone. Kartik is busy. Do something for yourself.”
In pavitra mind again:
I have time. But what to do with it?
Even when Kartik touches me, I just lie there.
Like I’m a pillow cover. Just… folded and kept.
I don’t know what I like. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to want more.
Is it wrong to want something deeper?
K: “Okay okay, I have a work now. Boss will eat my head. Bye!”
P: “Go go. Don’t get scolded.”
K: “Love you!”
P: “Bye.”
Pavitra placed the phone on the table. Her half-finished coffee was cold.
She stared into it for a moment. Her fingers tightened around the tumbler. Her chest rose in a slow breath.
In Pavitra mind again:
Maybe I’m just imagining… or maybe I’ve ignored this for too long.
Maybe it’s not about sex or touch. Maybe… I just want to feel something.
To feel like a woman too.
The house had finally settled.
The floor was swept, the last batch of clothes folded, and the cotton saree clung lightly to Pavitra’s waist—sticky from the heat that had already crept in. She tied her hair into a loose bun, a few strands escaping near her ears, and finally let herself sit down on the edge of the sofa.
One sip of coffee. That’s all she wanted.
But just as the cup touched her lips, her phone buzzed.
Kavita Calling...
A smile flickered on her face.
Pavitra tapped the screen and held it to her ear. “Look who’s calling now.”
K: “Dei! As if you’re better! No call, no message. If I didn’t call, you’d have vanished off the planet.”
Pavitra chuckled. “It’s not like that pa. Mornings are crazy no? Lunch box, uniforms, breakfast… then cleaning.”
K: “Ugh, same here. My girl cried this morning because her water bottle didn’t have the cartoon sticker.”
Pavitra winced. “Oh no…”
K: “And I was yelling like a fish market aunty, while my husband? Sleeping like a prince in Taj Hotel.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Men are like that only.”
K: “Exactly. So what are you doing now? Free-a?”
P: “Just having coffee. Sitting for two minutes. My legs are killing me.”
K: “Good. I called only to gossip. My brain is dying without it.”
Pavitra smiled into the phone. “What happened now?”
K: “Yesterday night Varun was in full-on romance mode.”
She raised her brows. “Suddenly?”
K: “Suddenly only! I was folding clothes, and he came from behind and hugged me.”
Pavitra laughed softly. “At least he fed you?”
K: “Skipped dinner pa. He was all over me. Sweet fellow. Started kissing and everything…”
She felt her cheeks warm. “Don’t give me full details… I’m still sipping coffee.”
K: “Wait wait, I’m being serious. Yesterday was different. He wasn’t rushing. It was… slow. He actually lasted more than ten minutes, I swear.”
There was a small pause.
P: “…Really?”
K: “Yes pa. I even checked the time after. Usually it’s two minutes, light off, snore. But yesterday… full 10 minutes. Soft. Patient. Proper.”
P: “Oh… okay…”
In Pavitra Mind:
Fifteen minutes? Is that even possible?
Kartik finishes before I even understand what’s happening. I thought that was normal. Isn’t it?
She said slow... proper...
What does that even feel like?
Should I ask her? No… no need. Why compare? Kartik is a good husband. He takes care of me. He never hurts me.
But still…
“I even… felt the full thing, you know?” Kavita added. “The release. Don’t know how to explain.”
Pavitra kept her voice steady. “Hmm… lucky you.”
K: “What about you? How’s Kartik? Still in work calls day and night?”
P: “Yeah. Work is nonstop. Sometimes Friday night he doesn’t even come home. But he tries. He’s sweet. We just… don’t get much time.”
K: “You both are always so calm. Like two grandmas.”
Pavitra laughed. “Drama-a? We’re like those old couples who sit silently watching TV.”
K: “Come on, pa. You both are still young! Spice it up a little.”
P: “He’s always tired. Even when he’s home, he’s thinking about some issue at office.”
In Pavitra mind again:
But I’ve never blamed him. He’s not a bad man. He just… doesn’t know.
And I… never asked.
I didn’t even know what to ask.
Amma never said anything. college friends never spoke of this.
Only Kavita… opens these doors in my mind.
“I keep telling Varun,” Kavita went on, “Even once in a while is enough. Just… make us feel something. Yesterday I felt like… I don’t know… like a woman.”
Pavitra’s voice softened. “I’m happy for you.”
K: “Don’t lie. You’re thinking ‘why not me?’ right?”
She laughed. “No da. You deserve it.”
K: “Don’t stay too comfortable with silence, pa. We’re moms, wives… not corpses. You should feel alive too.”
P: “I haven’t forgotten. I just… don’t think about it much.”
K: “That’s the problem. Now you have time. Kids are gone. Kartik is busy. Do something for yourself.”
In pavitra mind again:
I have time. But what to do with it?
Even when Kartik touches me, I just lie there.
Like I’m a pillow cover. Just… folded and kept.
I don’t know what I like. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to want more.
Is it wrong to want something deeper?
K: “Okay okay, I have a work now. Boss will eat my head. Bye!”
P: “Go go. Don’t get scolded.”
K: “Love you!”
P: “Bye.”
Pavitra placed the phone on the table. Her half-finished coffee was cold.
She stared into it for a moment. Her fingers tightened around the tumbler. Her chest rose in a slow breath.
In Pavitra mind again:
Maybe I’m just imagining… or maybe I’ve ignored this for too long.
Maybe it’s not about sex or touch. Maybe… I just want to feel something.
To feel like a woman too.
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