Avani's Journey to the North

[val.coutinho]

Same happened with Anita jab bus ride mein ek anjaan usko apne Lund ki maalish krne ko kehta hai aur Anita bina offend huye uske Lund mein tel lagati hai...toh bhai these are fantasy stories jinme hum thoda mirch masala dhundte hn aur maine situation bhi batai hai wrna xossip aur kaafi websites pey sidhe ek din mein sex ho jata hai

We've read so many stories jisme directly sex scenes par aa jate hn usse thoda hatke likhna is not bad but aapka review mujhe achha laga 

Should I continue or not ??

Same happened with Anita jab bus ride mein ek anjaan usko apne Lund ki maalish krne ko kehta hai aur Anita bina offend huye uske Lund mein tel lagati hai...toh bhai these are fantasy stories jinme hum thoda mirch masala dhundte hn aur maine situation bhi batai hai wrna xossip aur kaafi websites pey sidhe ek din mein sex ho jata hai

We've read so many stories jisme directly sex scenes par aa jate hn usse thoda hatke likhna is not bad but aapka review mujhe achha laga 

Continue rakhu story??

Bhai you have taken all things wrong.... I agree Anita ne ek anjaan aadmi ko hand job diya..... lekin aap yeh bhi toh dekho ki scene kya tha.... raat ke time jab jyada tar log so chuke the bus mein..... Lekin jaise aap ne scene banaya.... Avni toh randi ban gayi..... maaf karna main straight forward hi baat karta hu..... Use peshab lagi toh woh waha gayi jaha par gents peshab kar rahe the.... koi bhi lady gents wali jagah jaake peshab nahi karegi..... fir koi aake uski gaand daba de woh bhi pehsab karte waqt kuch ajeeb nahi lagta aapko ??? 

Fantasy hai maan raha hu isiliye bola ki aap continue karo lekin thoda logic bhi add karo...... Ab aage se jo bhi likho thoda soch samaj kar..... chahiye toh post karne se pehle 2 ya 3 baar khud padh lo aur samaj lo kya scene ban raha hai story ke plot mein..... Aesa na ho ki khud ka ijjat ka bhaji pala karlo.....

Please continue the story with utmost caution.... Thats all I would like to say.... If there are any flaws or something I find fishy I will let you know in my comments or I might PM you.... Or I will telll you to edit the parts where your going wrong.... See I'm not a writer but I dont want you to feel bad about negitivity and leave the story.... I'm also not here to degrade or disgrace you..... It takes a lot of time and courage to think and pen it down and post it for others to read..... But like it said above I'm saying it again.... Becareful of what you post.....

Go ahead man I know you will become a good writer.... Everyone fumbles at the start.... One has to struggle in life and here on xossipy too..... Just read imagining the scene..... think over it and then post it...... I wish you all the very best.....