Romance An Old Debt has to be Paid..by salir

[Salir]

Pond Master 19 (5)
 
Nadir’s Narration:
 
I got up, first I had to drink a glass of water. Then I went up to the bedroom. I
 
opened Meena's wardrobe door. I looked for the samll gift from Jalal. I took it and
 
then I bent down and looked under her side of
 
the bed. They were still there.
 
Her black skirt had lots of typical sperm stains on it and her dirty white blouse
 
with cum marks on it, especially on the bottom.
 
Both looked weird and it wasn't typical of Meena that she didn't wash things like
 
that straight away.
 
I took both and went back to the ground floor.
 
She was still sitting there, lost in thought, with moist and slightly red eyes.
 
I put the three objects on the table in front of her and sat down again where I was
 
before.
 
She started to cry quietly and after a short minute she was really howling.
 
" Look Meena, My point is not that you start a long term affair or relationship with
 
him or anyone, that it happens more than once or lasts. It is not even about how
 
it all is and what kind, kissing, groping, fingering, or real sex and intercourse, as
 
you say penetration. ",
 
"Even if you claim that you have not entered into a nonsexual, I mean, emotional
 
relationship with him, and that you have not fallen in love with him or love him, I
 
do not consider that to be hundert percent honest and do not consider it to be
 
completely credible,and for whatever reason you enter into a relationship with
 
him, alcohol effect, your hormones, your animal instincts, that he is better,
 
prettier, has a bigger cock, can love better, is richer, fulfills your wishes in every
 
respect sexually or materially. All of this can happen. ",
 
"We've done a few times some sexual games, together, as you say, at my
 
request and my plan, I mean the games that we started with other men. I saw
 
and look at you having sex with them, in my presence, with my consent, let's say
 
my initiative. I enjoyed it. You enjoyed it too, may be more, as a woman.",
 
" All of this is not primarily a problem for me and my point.,
 
"The problem starts when you hide something. That you hide it from me, as your
 
only man and love, as you claim. You hid that another man, with your consent
 
and even your encouragement, kissed you, touched you, fondled you, kissed
 
your breasts, worked on and rubbed your pussy, squirted for you and gave you
 
his seeds and brought you to orgasm." ,
 
"That's the point. It may be that you even long for him. We are human and we
 
have feelings, emotions, hormones and instincts. It can happen that you desire
 
someone, their body, their behavior, what they are like. ",
 
"The third person, here me, has to deal with it or leave you and go away. That
 
is his right, but you have to be honest with him and give him the opportunity. The
 
opportunity to choose. This is the least that you not only can do but must do.",
 
" But now, these days and here you didn't do it, there is no excuse for that.
 
You have been silent, hiding and waiting. Even though you could have told me
 
last night, you didn't say a word to me until I discovered, I presented the
 
evidence, I opened everything up, until you could no longer deny it. That is my
 
problem. ",
 
Then where we currently stand in the matterit is legitimate to call what you did,
 
betrayal, fraud, cheating, infidelity and every designation along those meanings.",
 
" I repeat this Meena, you didn't belong to me at those moments, hours and
 
days. And I'm not sure if you belong to me and only me at this moment.
 
I can't take it anymore, Meena, I can't stand it how it is.".
 
I had to get up and leave that room.
 
I couldn't do it anymore. I needed time and rest. My thoughts needed to calm
 
down. I was in my study. I turned on the music in my computer.
 
Leonard Cohen was there singing for me:
 
Come over to the window, my little darling
I′d like to try to read your palm
I used to think I was some kind of gypsy boy
Before I let you take me home
 
Now so long, Marianne
It's time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
 
Well, you know that I love to live with you
But you make me forget so very much
I forget to pray for the angels
And then the angels forget to pray for us
 
Now so long, Marianne
It′s time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
 
We met when we were almost young
Deep in the green lilac park
You held on to me like I was a crucifix
As we went kneeling through the dark
 
Oh, so long, Marianne
It's time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
 
Your letters, they all say that you're beside me now
Then why do I feel alone?
I′m standing on a ledge and your fine spider web
Is fastening my ankle to a stone
 
Now so long, Marianne
It′s time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
 
For now, I need your hidden love
I'm cold as a new razor blade
You left when I told you I was curious
I never said that I was brave
 
Oh, so long, Marianne
It′s time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
 
Oh, you are really such a pretty one
I see you've gone and changed your name again
And just when I climbed this whole mountainside
To wash my eyelids in the rain
 
Oh, so long, Marianne
It′s time that we began
To laugh and cry
And cry and laugh about it all again
-         Leonard Cohen writes about the woman of his heart and the mother of his child, Marainne: „She is a muse!“
 
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLOnQmmmlkw)

And if you are more interested in their story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwQHz0XPIos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21UEesvZb64
 
I could sing about my Meena this too…
 
She was and is my Muse and Muse for others, too.-
 
After that I packed a small suitcase in the bedroom, took only the things that I
 
absolutely needed for a short stay, and went downstairs. I called the chief
 
surgeon in medical college and told him I need a few days off, I have to sort out
 
something private. He immediately accepted it and wished me all the best
 
I got my suitcase and went dowmstairs..
 
Meena was still sitting in the kitchen, looked up at me with wet eyes and I could
 
clearly see that she was sinking in her seat. Her face turned pale and she
 
couldn't say a word, I had the feeling, she just looked alternately at me and my
 
suitcase and shook her head.
 
“I can't Meena, I'm sorry, I have to go. Please don't ask where or what... I'll get in
 
touch and you take good care of yourself... I don't know if this is the end for us or
 
a new beginning... I'm afraid you can't help me. I have to let myself and nature
 
heal my wounds... Maybe time will help with that...“
 
And then I went into the garage and took my vintage car, my old Jaguar, which
 
she had given me, and drove away.
 
***
 
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