Romance An Old Debt has to be Paid..by salir

[Salir]

Pond Master 19 (2)
 
Nadir Continues:
 
"Okay....now let me explain to you why I need to know these things in detail."
 
"Alright." She accepted.
 
"When two people decide for another and for sharing their lives, it is not sharing
 
only their property, their home, their bedroom, their genital organs. But also, a
 
high level of intimacy, I call it better oneness. You achieve it when you go with
 
another one together, through this process, Meena. 
 
This achieves you with only one person...
 
Only one person at a time. That level of intimacy goes beyond just sticking a
 
penis in a cunt or any other sexual act, with somebody. Do you get what I am
 
saying?"
 
"I....I am not sure."
 
"Well, the practical act of sex, the penetration, comes from evolution. that has a
 
biological programming, biological name is imperative. Everything else that goes
 
with it. But intimacy as I said before, is more than just a sex act, it is this
 
closeness to somebody else, that's... an expression of love. If you have a sexual
 
affair, it is the first level of this process, it is not so complicated and actually very
 
primitive, this is what we did it sometimes previously… but when it goes in a
 
higher level, with or without sexual act, even a kiss, then you enter in the level of
 
this intimacy, this emotional affair, this is my problem, and I must solve this
 
problem, otherwise, our life together will become problematic, even senseless, at
 
least for me. Did you get my point now?"
 
"What is your point exactly, Nadir?" She asked.
 
"I need to know if you have... Or had in these past days a relationship with him
 
that goes beyond just sexual or physical closeness."
 
Meena finally realized she could not argue and explain her way out of her situation.
 
So, she exasperatedly asked, " What do I need to do? Tell me, what do I need
 
to do to make up for my mistake?"
 
"I don’t know Meena; you are no longer mine. You gave yourself to another man."
 
I spoke.
 
"No! No! No! That is not true, I am yours. I am yours and yours alone. Last days I
 
made bad decisions.
 
They were stupid decisions and that will never happen again."
 
"But Meena, you've done it. You gave yourself to him. He took your soul and
 
somehow your body and now a part of you belongs to him.
 
Then maybe you go better back to him, to your lover," I said angrily and
 
somewhat loudly.
 
"But I tell you, I was and am yours and no one else's." Meena begged.
 
"Meena, I saw it for myself, you made yourself for him ready and available, you
 
claim you did not have sex with him, but this is for me not so important. Because
 
you had many times sex with your uncle, but you were under his control and for
 
me, actually and mainly, you were forced blackmailed. Perhaps, not perhaps but
 
sure, you had more often incredibly intense orgasms fucking him, but it was
 
principally unvoluntary from your side, your normal hormonal and body reaction. 
 
Apart from that, we involved other men in our erotic games, and you slept with
 
them at my request and my will and presence and enjoyed it too. But that was all
 
physical.
 
But now it is completely different, you waited for me to leave, you hid from me,
 
when, where and how often you met him, what does that mean? any reasonable
 
person will see that you wanted to give yourself to him, you wanted to unite with
 
him physically and mentally. "
 
Meena interrupted, "But it was a mistake. I made a mistake. And I didn't
 
know what I was doing. My emotions, my hormones just took control of me,
 
and I made a terrible decision!"
 
"I don't want to hear your excuses." I said indignantly.
 
"Today in bathroom, I decided to tell you the truth. I know this was no affair and
 
nothing important is occurred. But I.. I…"  And this brought out
 
Meena's sobs and after a brief moment she continued, "It just got out of control. I
 
mean more than what my personal limit was or is … It just got out of control and
 
I'm so sorry, In these recent days, a little voice reminded me that I’m not really
 
deserving your trust, because of what I do and the lie I am still telling.  When I
 
would put myself in your shoes, I always decided that I would want to know the
 
truth. I would want the person I love to be honest with me. but Nadir, I am not the
 
only one who guilty is…."
 
" What do you mean you are not the only one who guilty is? " I asked.
 
This time Meena spoke slowly and argued, "Look Nadir, before I speak about
 
this. first, we have to make some other things clear, you talk about and you
 
accuse me about my betrayal, that I cheated on you, betrayed our love and life,
 
had sex with another man and so on, and this all intentionally… I will not discuss
 
this anymore, but I want to tell you the truth, I’ll tell you briefly what
 
happened, where and how, and then you can ask questions, no matter how
 
detailed you want the answers to be, I will admit everything as it was. Here and for
 
the last time, I swear that I will answer everything you want to know exactly and
 
without lies, I speak about truth, and you are the one who accepts it, or not… You
 
are the one who believes what I say or not and then you decide what to do, what
 
happens to our life together...
 
After I talk about our s meetings I reply to your other questions and the am going
 
to speak about the question of guilt and blame…
 
I met him five times, on the Sunday after you left, he was here for a short time
 
and surprised me in my bathing suit because I had bathed beforehand, but
 
nothing happened. He almost persuaded me to go dancing with him the next day,
 
Monday, and then when he brought me back, we got closer, he kissed me in the
 
car, but nothing more.
 
The next day, Tuesday, he picked me up and we drove to his place. After dinner
 
and after Tahir, his friend, left, he unexpectedly grabbed me from behind in
 
the library and started to touch and rub my breasts and genitals until I came.
 
Then we left his house, and he took me home. Nothing more and nothing less.
 
On Wednesday he took me to dinner and then to the cinema, where we kissed
 
long and passionately, and he touched and rubbed my lower abdomen again, and
 
I touched and rubbed him for the first time and then he came.
 
Yesterday we went to a pizzeria for lunch and then to his house for a coffee. He
 
wanted to talk to me about his plans for the future. We kissed and nothing more.
 
That was all Nadir.
 
 I was never naked with him, and we never had real sex.
 
Now I sit here, and you ask me what you want in details.
 
One point more, I believe, and I am convinced that if you don't accept and believe
 
my words, then our love, our relationship, our marriage, and our life together
 
have no chance of survival... Then our life together is useless and just a torture
 
for both of us, no matter how much we love each other ... Then it is better that each
 
of us goes our own way.
 
But please no hateful sentences, I am going to confess nothing but just the
 
truth…" Then she stopped waiting for me to say something.
 
I thought to myself, well, the situation is slowly becoming critical and our
 
life together is now dependent on this conversation…
 
" Did you kiss him sexually? I mean lips… tongue… mouth? French kissing?" I
 
asked her immediately.
 
Meena:
"Yes, but more than that,"
 
Me:
"You...really did you have no sex with him, never in these days, not even touching
 
of his dick on your body or pussy?"
 
Meena:
"No. I am so sorry that I did things that were not allowed, I don't mean morally but
 
in my own way of thinking and believe and in relation to our relationship, I mean
 
mine and yours..."
 
Me:
"How many times?"
 
Meena:
“Excuse me?”
 
Me:
"How many times did you do those ‘not intercourse’ things?"
 
Meena:
"Does it matter?"
 
Me:
"Yes."
 
Meena:
"Why?"
 
Me:
"Because I want to know if this was a one off mistake or a prolonged affair…"
 
Meena:
"It was not an affair, Nadir ... but two times, I mean if you include the erotic kiss
 
then Three or four times...."
 
Me:
"Four times or four nights?"
 
Meena:
"No nights."
 
Me:
" You came back all nights home, alone?"
 
Meena:
"Yes."
 
Me:
"Is he...............bigger than me?"
 
Meena:
"Why are you asking me that?"
 
Me:
"Just answer me."
 
Meena:
"I thought you saw the picture,"
 
Me:
"But you saw it in real life, right?"
 
Meena:
"Yes, but only in darkness,",
 
Me:
"And you had it in your hand,"
 
Me:
Meena:
 "Yes, sort of bigger. A bit thicker but he is much longer,"
 
Me:
"Bigger than Mansour?"
 
Meena:
"No.... I don’t know..."
 
Me:
"You know for sure Meena, you know that from your uncle,"
 
Meena:
“Let me see… Yes, he was longer but not thicker, I think …”
 
Me:
"Has he entered you?"
 
Meena:
“No way, he wasn’t even close…,”
 
Me:
"Were you or he naked?"
 
Meena:
"No, never…"
 
Me:
“What did he more than kissing?
 
Meena:
 "He touched me and rubbed me,"
 
Me:
“You mean your tits, legs, or pussy? “
 
Meena:
"Yes, all three, but just over my panty,"
 
Me:
“And that made you wet? “
 
Meena:
"Yes, "
 
Me:
"Did you cum? "
 
Meena:
"Yes, "
 
Me:
" How many times and where, "
 
Meena:
"Two times, first time in his house and the day before yesterday in the movie
 
theatre,"
 
Me:
"Did he cum?"
 
Meena:
"Yes,"
 
Me:
"Every time? How many times?"
 
 
Meena:
"No, not every time, he came only one time,"
 
 
Me:
"Did you suck his dick?"
 
Meena:
"No,"
 
Me:
"Why not?"
 
Mena:
"I didn’t want and he did not too, I mean he didn’t asked for it ,"
 
Me:
"How did he cum then?"
 
Meena:
"I rubbed him, and he came in my hands. Nadir, I must say something here, I
 
know that deep in your heart you believe me because you know me, it may
 
sound weird to draw the line there after such a mistake … "
 
Me:
"And did he go down on you?"
 
Meena:
"No, perhaps he would have done, but I did not allow the matter to come to this,"
 
Me:
"Were you drunk on any of those occasions?"
 
Meena:
"Yes, I think a little bit, at least the first days, otherwise under no circumstances
 
would something like that has happened."
 
Me:
"Did you....do you love him?"
 
 
Meena:
"No, of course not! I love you, Nadir!"
 
Me:
"At those moments, the moments of erotic closeness, did you... think you loved him?"
 
Meena:
"......"
 
Me:
"Well?"
 
Meena:
"Maybe."
 
Me:
"What is maybe? Yes, or no?"
 
Meena:
"It's not that simple, it depends on what love is meant."
 
Me:
"Yes, it is, so simple, you know love since your childhood."
 
Meena:
"No, it isn't. Yes, I like him enough to consider being with him sexually, but just in
 
one case would I do that and go so far, just when you want it and let it occur.
 
But, all the time, with or without him, I knew that you were and are the only one I
 
could love and spend my life with.
 
I don’t know, perhaps I wanted his attention, and I don’t know why, but I know that
 
I do not love him, this is not love, I know love since I was a teenager and met
 
you…
 
And all the time since this began, I wanted to speak with you, to tell you, I didn’t
 
want to keep it hidden, Nadir. I know that the silence is not the answer.
 
Silence is dangerous. Silence and shame are a killer combination.
 
I was not unfaithful to you all my life, perhaps these days I drank too much.
 
I just didn’t know how to tell you, I cannot pretend I didn’t what I did, I cannot
 
pretend I wouldn’t, I cannot pretend I hadn’t…
 
I felt very guilty every second that I had erotic feelings next to him,"
 
And after a short pause while she was thinking, she went on, "Excuse me Nadir, I
 
think you are right, I am so sorry, that was a mistake" Meena began to cry again,
 
with her hands on her face, covering her eyes.

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