06-11-2024, 01:32 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-11-2024, 01:35 AM by intrepid. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
Hi KK….,
Exquisite writing. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be to describe via the video what was going on in the room between Ganga, Javed and Chacha; at the same time introduce in extreme detail what Ganga had written in her diary; and at the same time relay what Shrinu was feeling…..this is super difficult.
The English language and grammar was good, the zooming in and out with your story between the diary , the video and Srinu’s reaction was at the perfect time and was just extraordinary.
The attention to details was also extraordinary….you actually noted that Chacha placed the phone to record at a good angle…had you forgotten this, then the readers would wonder where the video came from?
Showing Ganga fucking around behind Srinu’s back this early in the story may have killed the suspense that was the appeal of this story….”the cheating wife?” Well, now we know that she is INDEED cheating, then what’s the point of the story going forward? Won’t it then just turn into one of those standard “fuck-fest” stories that are dime a dozen on the internet?
NOTE: I don’t mind the belated updates….it’s really difficult to write good erotica so please take your time.
Thanks
Intrepid
Exquisite writing. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be to describe via the video what was going on in the room between Ganga, Javed and Chacha; at the same time introduce in extreme detail what Ganga had written in her diary; and at the same time relay what Shrinu was feeling…..this is super difficult.
The English language and grammar was good, the zooming in and out with your story between the diary , the video and Srinu’s reaction was at the perfect time and was just extraordinary.
The attention to details was also extraordinary….you actually noted that Chacha placed the phone to record at a good angle…had you forgotten this, then the readers would wonder where the video came from?
Showing Ganga fucking around behind Srinu’s back this early in the story may have killed the suspense that was the appeal of this story….”the cheating wife?” Well, now we know that she is INDEED cheating, then what’s the point of the story going forward? Won’t it then just turn into one of those standard “fuck-fest” stories that are dime a dozen on the internet?
NOTE: I don’t mind the belated updates….it’s really difficult to write good erotica so please take your time.
Thanks
Intrepid