22-11-2023, 11:05 AM
The rest of that week my brother and I would kiss occasionally when we were alone. We knew because we'd never seen my parents kiss that it was not something that was supposed to be done. It was sinful and it was wrong. But it was also fun. It made me feel so lovely. But I should stress that we didn't really understand what we were doing. Part of me longed for Joseph to take me in his arms and hold me tight while he kissed me. But I didn't even know those were actions a person could take. Our kisses were chaste, both of us in the barn, sitting next to one another, and lovingly putting our lips together. Except for the fact that each kiss lasted about two minutes, they weren't even particularly inappropriate for a brother or a sister. Of course, we didn't know that.
Every time I kissed Joseph I was faced with four distinct kinds of feelings. First was pure elation. It was such a magical thing, the connection I felt when I kissed my brother. I'd never known you could convey love with your body, to pass your emotions to another threw your lips and skin was a revelation. I didn't know how I knew that part of what I felt was love, but there must've been some connection between a kiss and the heart, because I felt it nonetheless. Second, I felt closer to my brother each time. As I said, we were always close to one another, but something felt different now. When I looked at him I ached inside and I found myself blushing around him. I noticed that I liked the way his face looked in a way I hadn't before. I noticed his strength and his humor in a more appreciative way than before. I didn't know why it was happening, but those feelings made our kisses more magical. Third was an intense and unaccountable frustration in my body. I knew there was something my body was telling me I needed to do. When I kissed my brother my heart beat so fast, my cheeks flushed, my nipples hardened, and my private area became dripping wet. I knew that my body was begging me to do something, but I didn't know what it was. Finally, I felt fear. Each time I kissed Joseph we were one step closer to being caught. I didn't know what punishment would be in store for us, but I knew that it would be bad. Of course, this fear was never enough to stop. In fact, all four of these new feelings, all at once, complemented one another. It made my life more exciting and more fun that it had ever been before, more than I'd ever imagined it could be.
It was only two weeks after our first kiss that Joseph once again brought new and startling information back to our home. I could tell the instant he got home from market that he was more excited than usual. He was nervous and shifty our entire dinner. His impatience was exacerbated by the slow pace of dinner. Father had made more money than usual that day and he was in good spirits. While we slowly ate our stew, Father regaled Mother with the highlights of the day. Mercifully, the story ended eventually and Joseph and I rushed out to the barn and began unloading the merchandise.
"What are you so excited about?" I asked, excited myself. But Joseph would not skip ahead. We had a ritual and, as usual, he started at the beginning of the day and told me everything. By now some of the things that had seemed so strange before were becoming commonplace. At least, hearing about them were. I no longer had hundreds of questions about short pants or about sunglasses. And, in a matter of a few minute, Joseph ran through his entire day. No new revelations, everything seemed quite routine.
"Then what are you so happy about?" I asked.
"What do you mean Anna?" Joseph asked with false innocence. I could tell he was lying and reached over and smacked him three lightly on the arm. He grinned at me, "Okay, okay!" he said, lifting his hands to defend himself.
"What are you smiling about you rat?" I asked, laughing as well. Joseph looked around the barn conspiratorially. Then he reached down the back of his pants and slowly lifted something out.
"This," he said with reverence, and laid a rectangular packet of papers down on the hood of the truck. I walked forward cautiously. It was made of glossy paper and had a red border around the outside. At the top of the packet was a single word "TIME" and there was a picture of man with gray hair on the front. The fourth man I'd ever seen. I now know that Time is a magazine, and a rather dull one at that, but at that instant it was amazingly precious. Suddenly, I felt tears rising in my eyes.
"Joseph," I said, my voice cracking a bit, "Thank you so much..."
"Anna," he replied, "I know that you wish you could come with me, but I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if you could see a little of what I see." My brother had taken an incredible risk. Surrounded by the other men in the Light and the Way, including our Father, he had carefully snuck a little piece of the outside world back with him. To share with me. I dropped the magazine onto the hood of the car and wrapped my arms around my brother. He laughed a little. Then, I turned, my eyes still blurry with tears, and kissed him. There was something different about this kiss. Every other time we'd kissed it had been after careful deliberation. This was just a natural reaction, I could not have chosen otherwise. And the kiss was so much more passionate, with my arms dbangd around Joseph's strong neck. He kissed me back, our lips fused hard, our saliva mixing as our mouths opened ever so slightly.
Finally, I realized what I was doing and felt a bit odd. I broke the kiss and pushed back. Joseph had a sort of dazed smile on his face, as though he were more than satisfied with the reward he received for the magazine. To hide my embarrassment in my sudden loss of control, I picked the magazine back up.
"Where did you find it?" I asked.
"A customer asked me to throw it away after I checked him out, I just hung onto it instead," he explained. I held the slick paper up close to my face, enjoying the feel of its foreignness and weight in my hands.
"It is my favorite gift ever," I said to Joseph and he blushed.
"I'd get you anything to have you look at me like that," Joseph said slowly, with intense embarrassment. I blushed back but couldn't speak.
"Well," Joseph said finally after a long pause, "I guess we should go back in, Father will wonder what is keeping us." He said. And he left. When he was gone I carefully unzipped the back of my dress a bit, slid the magazine down against my back and then zipped myself back up. Then I rushed to the house, hoping that no one would notice my slight hunchback.
* * * * *
Every time I kissed Joseph I was faced with four distinct kinds of feelings. First was pure elation. It was such a magical thing, the connection I felt when I kissed my brother. I'd never known you could convey love with your body, to pass your emotions to another threw your lips and skin was a revelation. I didn't know how I knew that part of what I felt was love, but there must've been some connection between a kiss and the heart, because I felt it nonetheless. Second, I felt closer to my brother each time. As I said, we were always close to one another, but something felt different now. When I looked at him I ached inside and I found myself blushing around him. I noticed that I liked the way his face looked in a way I hadn't before. I noticed his strength and his humor in a more appreciative way than before. I didn't know why it was happening, but those feelings made our kisses more magical. Third was an intense and unaccountable frustration in my body. I knew there was something my body was telling me I needed to do. When I kissed my brother my heart beat so fast, my cheeks flushed, my nipples hardened, and my private area became dripping wet. I knew that my body was begging me to do something, but I didn't know what it was. Finally, I felt fear. Each time I kissed Joseph we were one step closer to being caught. I didn't know what punishment would be in store for us, but I knew that it would be bad. Of course, this fear was never enough to stop. In fact, all four of these new feelings, all at once, complemented one another. It made my life more exciting and more fun that it had ever been before, more than I'd ever imagined it could be.
It was only two weeks after our first kiss that Joseph once again brought new and startling information back to our home. I could tell the instant he got home from market that he was more excited than usual. He was nervous and shifty our entire dinner. His impatience was exacerbated by the slow pace of dinner. Father had made more money than usual that day and he was in good spirits. While we slowly ate our stew, Father regaled Mother with the highlights of the day. Mercifully, the story ended eventually and Joseph and I rushed out to the barn and began unloading the merchandise.
"What are you so excited about?" I asked, excited myself. But Joseph would not skip ahead. We had a ritual and, as usual, he started at the beginning of the day and told me everything. By now some of the things that had seemed so strange before were becoming commonplace. At least, hearing about them were. I no longer had hundreds of questions about short pants or about sunglasses. And, in a matter of a few minute, Joseph ran through his entire day. No new revelations, everything seemed quite routine.
"Then what are you so happy about?" I asked.
"What do you mean Anna?" Joseph asked with false innocence. I could tell he was lying and reached over and smacked him three lightly on the arm. He grinned at me, "Okay, okay!" he said, lifting his hands to defend himself.
"What are you smiling about you rat?" I asked, laughing as well. Joseph looked around the barn conspiratorially. Then he reached down the back of his pants and slowly lifted something out.
"This," he said with reverence, and laid a rectangular packet of papers down on the hood of the truck. I walked forward cautiously. It was made of glossy paper and had a red border around the outside. At the top of the packet was a single word "TIME" and there was a picture of man with gray hair on the front. The fourth man I'd ever seen. I now know that Time is a magazine, and a rather dull one at that, but at that instant it was amazingly precious. Suddenly, I felt tears rising in my eyes.
"Joseph," I said, my voice cracking a bit, "Thank you so much..."
"Anna," he replied, "I know that you wish you could come with me, but I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if you could see a little of what I see." My brother had taken an incredible risk. Surrounded by the other men in the Light and the Way, including our Father, he had carefully snuck a little piece of the outside world back with him. To share with me. I dropped the magazine onto the hood of the car and wrapped my arms around my brother. He laughed a little. Then, I turned, my eyes still blurry with tears, and kissed him. There was something different about this kiss. Every other time we'd kissed it had been after careful deliberation. This was just a natural reaction, I could not have chosen otherwise. And the kiss was so much more passionate, with my arms dbangd around Joseph's strong neck. He kissed me back, our lips fused hard, our saliva mixing as our mouths opened ever so slightly.
Finally, I realized what I was doing and felt a bit odd. I broke the kiss and pushed back. Joseph had a sort of dazed smile on his face, as though he were more than satisfied with the reward he received for the magazine. To hide my embarrassment in my sudden loss of control, I picked the magazine back up.
"Where did you find it?" I asked.
"A customer asked me to throw it away after I checked him out, I just hung onto it instead," he explained. I held the slick paper up close to my face, enjoying the feel of its foreignness and weight in my hands.
"It is my favorite gift ever," I said to Joseph and he blushed.
"I'd get you anything to have you look at me like that," Joseph said slowly, with intense embarrassment. I blushed back but couldn't speak.
"Well," Joseph said finally after a long pause, "I guess we should go back in, Father will wonder what is keeping us." He said. And he left. When he was gone I carefully unzipped the back of my dress a bit, slid the magazine down against my back and then zipped myself back up. Then I rushed to the house, hoping that no one would notice my slight hunchback.
* * * * *
जिंदगी की राहों में रंजो गम के मेले हैं.
भीड़ है क़यामत की फिर भी हम अकेले हैं.
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