[seansean007]

Hi Sean, I hope you are well and having a good time.
Reading the updates after a long time. I must say that you are the master of story telling and building sexual tension. In the era of porn where one can get orgasm in no time, it is worth reading your story more importantly when sex is being shown/depicted as something either taboo or too casual, taboo as in people don't wanna talk about it and casual as in people are liberated already so much so that it doesn't need effort to get yourself laid.

Sex and the relationships surrounding it are real life phenomenon and not simply just come-meet-fuck-ejaculate. It is too unreal.
But thank you for depicting reality, where if we apply the logic of your story in real life it feels. Sex is for enjoyment of the people involved in it and not just about one person's satisfaction where other person lay on bed unsatisfied. I cannot appreciate you enough about this. There's a reason why the survey shows that females stays unsatisfied in sexual relationship in 80-90% of the cases.

This version of the story is sexy-raunchy as you have promised and is worth reading it because of its detailed scenarios. There are a lot of KLPD movements in this version where were expecting something but alas KLPD comes in our way but I am saying this not as a criticism but only as genuine admirer of this story as how the story should depict the realities of the society and not fictional imagination. We are not used to about his slow seduction, build up and have no idea what it takes to get what we want which should be real.

As much as Anita knows herself, it is hariya who is showing tremendous amount of courage and patience while dealing with Anita. He has understood Anita well and that's why he is still grounded otherwise we would have given up on Anita if we were in his position trying to get into the pants of Anita. It is because of hariya only we are able to see the Anita opening up and has only grown up in here overall nature(or was she already like this from starting only?) Her participation yet reluctance in going too far immediately shows the character of Anita, I agree with the other readers comments where he has called Anita as CHALOO AURAT. Because she knows where she is heading into but she also knows how to maintain her stature as not being a whore who will let you eat her simply, for that you'll have to win her. Ahh wonderful.

I also liked the bus incident where we can see what hariya has been able to achieve in his acts to seduce Anita, when Anita in one bus journey only has messaged the dick of that man on bus. It shows Anita has started to enjoy and is trying to participate equally if the opposite person is courageous enough.




My mild criticism of this version and as well as for the previous version is that the way you have gone into the depth of telling your story there is something lacking here which is the accute details of how hariya's body is, you have not fully given the details of hariya apart from his labourer background. Where in this new update you have shown that how hariya is almost naked, you did not tell how hariya's stature is is his body full of hairs, is his body full of odour which is stinky yet arousing to Anita, are his genitals full of hairs and dirt as is should be? What running in Anita's mind seeing his cock and balls? Is she enjoying as it is her first time having these acts with low class man? How much is she enjoying seeing his body, his cock? Please include this details as well, because we are literally imagining this happening in real and it will add tadka also in this story.

Thanks a lot for the detailed feedback. Appreciate it. With the lack of detailed feedback during the past few updates from the regular readers, I was starting to feel that the story is not as enjoyable as I want it to be. This kind of feedback is necessary for me to keep going but inspite of repeated requests, only handful of readers provide it. I am glad to know your take on the story so far. Thank you again. 

As for criticism regarding Hariya'a stature, I agree with you that I have not included that in detail so far but only because I am waiting for the right time. Keep in mind that what Anita felt is also something I revealed only after some updates and not after the initial encounters. Sometimes the less revelation, especially if it can be revealed at an appropriate point of story is necessary to keep the story interesting. Sometimes I may not describe something too much in detail as I leave it upto the readers as well to guess it as per their imagination. 

But I am really glad that you came up with this criticism. As a reader if you find some shortfall you should definitely point that out with an explanation and not mere criticism. You let me know where you think the story is lacking rather than just criticising. This is what I want is that if you find something lacking point that out with proper explanation. As a writer I can justify the lack of that element if I was already aware of it (Hariya's stature being an example) or I can try to improve the story in that aspect. Appreciate your effort for providing the detailed feedback. Thanks again.