10-06-2019, 07:27 PM
Part-35 contd
“Who asked you to drink so much, when you can not tolerate” she asked looking a bit annoyed.
“Its okay Pooja, its not his fault……I think the dancing and the atmosphere in there got to him…come on lets have dinner” I said pleasantly.
I beckoned the manager, who appeared swiftly and ordered an exquisite dinner sans the alcohol, as I knew Yash could not take anymore and Pooja would not approve.
As for me, I had to drive back, so instead I ordered soups as the starters.
I tried to start a small talk about the ambience and the atmosphere in there, but found that Yash was only speaking in monosyllables. He seemed preoccupied, as if tense about something.
This gave me an opportunity to talk with Pooja, who was sitting in front of us and was looking all the more lovely. I noticed her lipstick was gone and I could understand why. I just hoped Yash did not notice it.
The dinner was served in exotic dishes and was very delicious. We were quite hungry by that time, and literally tore into the meal. We were making small talks , none of them serious.
A few times my eyes met Pooja and I felt the same spark that was there when I had taken her out for dinner the other night. I touched her foot lightly from under the table and she moved it away quickly, giving me a passing glare.
I noticed that she was blushing deeply….probably she too was recalling the erotic moments of previous evening in the restaurant and was probably as turned on as I was .
We finished the dinner, without any further incident and Yash insisted on paying the bill, to which I agreed.
Finally we bid adieu to that exotic yet sensual place and started back. Yash was definitely not his usual self .
He was trying to make small talks and was trying to laugh but all that seemed staged and fake. He was definitely not with us and I knew it……
We reached our building and I parked the car…..my mind was racing and I wanted to clear my doubts before I could proceed, so I decided that I would have a long talk with him….today. As we exited the elevator , I said
“Hey Yash there’s something I want to have your opinion about. Could you please come to my flat for some time.”
Then looking at Pooja I said” don’t worry I won’t keep him long” she smiled at me and nodded.
“Thanks for a lovely evening Aryan” she said
“It was my pleasure all the way”…I said smiling and looking at her. She blushed immediately
“Goodnight and don’t start drinking again” she said and went swaying gently towards her flat.
I opened the door to my flat and we both entered. We went to the drawing room and made ourselves comfortable on the sofa.
“So, what is it that you want my opinion about?” He asked
“First you tell me,… are you feeling okay? Wait here I will make some soda-lime.
It will make you feel better” And with that I went towards the kitchen and prepared two glasses of chilled soda lime.
I came back and handed over a glass to him. He took the glass and had a long swig. It must have felt good as he gave me a smile and a wink.
I sat down on the sofa opposite to him and had a sip of the chilled liquid too.
“So Aryan what is it?” he asked smiling.
“Yash ! this is a very sensitive matter that I want to discuss with you. I know its late today, but I wanted to bring it up today as tomorrow I might not bring myself to discuss such thing with you”
Now he looked a bit apprehensive and said “What are you talking about buddy?”
“Yash…… Please don’t take me wrong on this but I think, whatever you are doing is not right for you and Pooja” I said pensively ….taking my gamble. I knew either it would hit the bull’s eye or I would be way off mark.
But there was no middle way….no safe path to tread. I had to take my chances now…and this chance could either make or break my friendship with Yash and thereby my chances of getting Pooja.
“What are you talking about Aryan…….I don’t understand” he said. The colour on his face had drained and he was looking pale now.
After a long pause, I said “Look Yash, there is no point in hiding now….I know…that you are….well…. a gay”. I felt as if a huge load had been lifted of my heart when I said those words.
I had taken all circumstances into consideration, and finally when I had said what I strongly believed. I waited for his reaction.
He looked down towards the carpet for some time. The silence in those few moments was deafening.
I expected him to get angry, to explode……even pick up a fight with me……but he did nothing of that sort.
He just kept on looking at that carpet and then said slowly.
“I knew you would guess it sooner rather than later……”
“Buddy, its not that I am against you or your preferences, but ……..” I trailed off. I could not bring myself to say anything more. Sometimes the silence conveys more than the words can ever express.
“Does Pooja know about it”? he asked slowly.
I was taken aback by his question. “Why would he ask me that?” It was too sensitive a matter.
I knew he would not have said it….unless……unless of course he suspected there was something going on between me and Pooja. Now that thought was numbing. I was not prepared for it and kept silent for a few moments.
“No” I said “she doesn’t”. I did not give any clarifications, nor did I elaborate on the matter. I knew ‘the more you try to defend, what is not right, the more you land up messing it.’
He nodded….and after a moments silence said “You know Aryan, I ve been wanting to tell all this to Pooja for quite sometime now. But I just could not bring myself to speak about it.
Its so embarrassing and hurts when you think that you ruin a girls life for just no fault of hers. I always felt that I was normal, that I had normal feelings, but somehow always suppressed my hidden desire to be with men.
I always enjoyed their company more but did not think much into it till I got married. After marriage I began to realize that my preferences …….lay elsewhere, that I just could not be normal in bed with a girl.
I knew that if I could not be attracted to Pooja, then I couldn’t be attracted to any female. That’s when my hidden desires came to fore. I realized that I was not what you call a normal male,……..that I liked male company more……both in and out of the bed. Yes Aryan….I’m a gay
I got up from my place and came and sat besides him. I put my arm around his shoulder and said softly “I understand…….. Yash, and it’s not your fault. You only came to know about it a bit later in life…..otherwise it would not have been such a mess for you as well as for Pooja”
“I know Aryan …I‘ve not been able to justify my relationship with Pooja. She is a simple innocent normal girl, whose life I’ve made a mess of. I know……that now she…is attracted to you…..I can see it in her eyes…...I can feel it……..and I also know…that you too like her……..but I am not angry or cross….with either of you, because I can understand the human need to be loved…and cared for…………..”
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of us……which seemed to last an eternity.
I wanted to say something…but just couldn’t …..my emotions were in a turmoil…..could I take that one chance…I had been waiting for…..could I just go for it now……
I realized that if I didn’t speak today, I will never be able to do so again…so gathering all my courage….. I spoke
“Yes….Yash, …….you are right. I …….I’ve ……fallen in love with…Pooja” I confessed and that one sentence, just took all the guilt away. I felt so light…..as if I had confessed to my sins in front of god. Now whatever happens….I was not afraid. “I know its not right to suggest this ….but I think that time has come to rethink about your future…..and Pooja’s life.” I said it as gently and as feelingly I could say.
He nodded as if preparing himself for the inevitable……the words he wanted to say were there on his lips but were taking an eternity coming out of his mouth. But at last gathering every ounce of courage he said
“I guess, I will have to tell Pooja everything………I don’t know how I will face her but I can not live with this guilt any longer………
I guess she will divorce me after this but…..I am ready for any eventuality…..now. I can’t mess up with her life any more.”
“Would you like me to help…?” I asked gently.
“No Aryan, I’m grateful that you have confronted me with this today. I was living in constant guilt. I was not living normally with Pooja nor was I enjoying my life the way I wanted to.
It was as if I was always cheating myself. Now I feel light that at last I’ve come to terms with my sexuality and only thing is to make Pooja understand…I’m dreading the confrontation, but I guess that I will face it sooner rather than later…Thanks buddy. I owe you one for this. ”
“Yash!...there’s one thing I want you to promise…..” I said
“What?”
“That you will not accuse Pooja of anything…….anything at all…..it was none of her fault that she was attracted to me. I hope you understand”
“I understand Aryan” he said smiling weakly…. “I’m glad that someone loves her more than I do…….otherwise she would have been shattered.
Don’t worry; I know she is not to be blamed.”
“Thanks” I said to him with a smile….extending my hand. He took it and shook my hand, smiled .We both hugged each other and he left my flat.
“Who asked you to drink so much, when you can not tolerate” she asked looking a bit annoyed.
“Its okay Pooja, its not his fault……I think the dancing and the atmosphere in there got to him…come on lets have dinner” I said pleasantly.
I beckoned the manager, who appeared swiftly and ordered an exquisite dinner sans the alcohol, as I knew Yash could not take anymore and Pooja would not approve.
As for me, I had to drive back, so instead I ordered soups as the starters.
I tried to start a small talk about the ambience and the atmosphere in there, but found that Yash was only speaking in monosyllables. He seemed preoccupied, as if tense about something.
This gave me an opportunity to talk with Pooja, who was sitting in front of us and was looking all the more lovely. I noticed her lipstick was gone and I could understand why. I just hoped Yash did not notice it.
The dinner was served in exotic dishes and was very delicious. We were quite hungry by that time, and literally tore into the meal. We were making small talks , none of them serious.
A few times my eyes met Pooja and I felt the same spark that was there when I had taken her out for dinner the other night. I touched her foot lightly from under the table and she moved it away quickly, giving me a passing glare.
I noticed that she was blushing deeply….probably she too was recalling the erotic moments of previous evening in the restaurant and was probably as turned on as I was .
We finished the dinner, without any further incident and Yash insisted on paying the bill, to which I agreed.
Finally we bid adieu to that exotic yet sensual place and started back. Yash was definitely not his usual self .
He was trying to make small talks and was trying to laugh but all that seemed staged and fake. He was definitely not with us and I knew it……
We reached our building and I parked the car…..my mind was racing and I wanted to clear my doubts before I could proceed, so I decided that I would have a long talk with him….today. As we exited the elevator , I said
“Hey Yash there’s something I want to have your opinion about. Could you please come to my flat for some time.”
Then looking at Pooja I said” don’t worry I won’t keep him long” she smiled at me and nodded.
“Thanks for a lovely evening Aryan” she said
“It was my pleasure all the way”…I said smiling and looking at her. She blushed immediately
“Goodnight and don’t start drinking again” she said and went swaying gently towards her flat.
I opened the door to my flat and we both entered. We went to the drawing room and made ourselves comfortable on the sofa.
“So, what is it that you want my opinion about?” He asked
“First you tell me,… are you feeling okay? Wait here I will make some soda-lime.
It will make you feel better” And with that I went towards the kitchen and prepared two glasses of chilled soda lime.
I came back and handed over a glass to him. He took the glass and had a long swig. It must have felt good as he gave me a smile and a wink.
I sat down on the sofa opposite to him and had a sip of the chilled liquid too.
“So Aryan what is it?” he asked smiling.
“Yash ! this is a very sensitive matter that I want to discuss with you. I know its late today, but I wanted to bring it up today as tomorrow I might not bring myself to discuss such thing with you”
Now he looked a bit apprehensive and said “What are you talking about buddy?”
“Yash…… Please don’t take me wrong on this but I think, whatever you are doing is not right for you and Pooja” I said pensively ….taking my gamble. I knew either it would hit the bull’s eye or I would be way off mark.
But there was no middle way….no safe path to tread. I had to take my chances now…and this chance could either make or break my friendship with Yash and thereby my chances of getting Pooja.
“What are you talking about Aryan…….I don’t understand” he said. The colour on his face had drained and he was looking pale now.
After a long pause, I said “Look Yash, there is no point in hiding now….I know…that you are….well…. a gay”. I felt as if a huge load had been lifted of my heart when I said those words.
I had taken all circumstances into consideration, and finally when I had said what I strongly believed. I waited for his reaction.
He looked down towards the carpet for some time. The silence in those few moments was deafening.
I expected him to get angry, to explode……even pick up a fight with me……but he did nothing of that sort.
He just kept on looking at that carpet and then said slowly.
“I knew you would guess it sooner rather than later……”
“Buddy, its not that I am against you or your preferences, but ……..” I trailed off. I could not bring myself to say anything more. Sometimes the silence conveys more than the words can ever express.
“Does Pooja know about it”? he asked slowly.
I was taken aback by his question. “Why would he ask me that?” It was too sensitive a matter.
I knew he would not have said it….unless……unless of course he suspected there was something going on between me and Pooja. Now that thought was numbing. I was not prepared for it and kept silent for a few moments.
“No” I said “she doesn’t”. I did not give any clarifications, nor did I elaborate on the matter. I knew ‘the more you try to defend, what is not right, the more you land up messing it.’
He nodded….and after a moments silence said “You know Aryan, I ve been wanting to tell all this to Pooja for quite sometime now. But I just could not bring myself to speak about it.
Its so embarrassing and hurts when you think that you ruin a girls life for just no fault of hers. I always felt that I was normal, that I had normal feelings, but somehow always suppressed my hidden desire to be with men.
I always enjoyed their company more but did not think much into it till I got married. After marriage I began to realize that my preferences …….lay elsewhere, that I just could not be normal in bed with a girl.
I knew that if I could not be attracted to Pooja, then I couldn’t be attracted to any female. That’s when my hidden desires came to fore. I realized that I was not what you call a normal male,……..that I liked male company more……both in and out of the bed. Yes Aryan….I’m a gay
I got up from my place and came and sat besides him. I put my arm around his shoulder and said softly “I understand…….. Yash, and it’s not your fault. You only came to know about it a bit later in life…..otherwise it would not have been such a mess for you as well as for Pooja”
“I know Aryan …I‘ve not been able to justify my relationship with Pooja. She is a simple innocent normal girl, whose life I’ve made a mess of. I know……that now she…is attracted to you…..I can see it in her eyes…...I can feel it……..and I also know…that you too like her……..but I am not angry or cross….with either of you, because I can understand the human need to be loved…and cared for…………..”
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of us……which seemed to last an eternity.
I wanted to say something…but just couldn’t …..my emotions were in a turmoil…..could I take that one chance…I had been waiting for…..could I just go for it now……
I realized that if I didn’t speak today, I will never be able to do so again…so gathering all my courage….. I spoke
“Yes….Yash, …….you are right. I …….I’ve ……fallen in love with…Pooja” I confessed and that one sentence, just took all the guilt away. I felt so light…..as if I had confessed to my sins in front of god. Now whatever happens….I was not afraid. “I know its not right to suggest this ….but I think that time has come to rethink about your future…..and Pooja’s life.” I said it as gently and as feelingly I could say.
He nodded as if preparing himself for the inevitable……the words he wanted to say were there on his lips but were taking an eternity coming out of his mouth. But at last gathering every ounce of courage he said
“I guess, I will have to tell Pooja everything………I don’t know how I will face her but I can not live with this guilt any longer………
I guess she will divorce me after this but…..I am ready for any eventuality…..now. I can’t mess up with her life any more.”
“Would you like me to help…?” I asked gently.
“No Aryan, I’m grateful that you have confronted me with this today. I was living in constant guilt. I was not living normally with Pooja nor was I enjoying my life the way I wanted to.
It was as if I was always cheating myself. Now I feel light that at last I’ve come to terms with my sexuality and only thing is to make Pooja understand…I’m dreading the confrontation, but I guess that I will face it sooner rather than later…Thanks buddy. I owe you one for this. ”
“Yash!...there’s one thing I want you to promise…..” I said
“What?”
“That you will not accuse Pooja of anything…….anything at all…..it was none of her fault that she was attracted to me. I hope you understand”
“I understand Aryan” he said smiling weakly…. “I’m glad that someone loves her more than I do…….otherwise she would have been shattered.
Don’t worry; I know she is not to be blamed.”
“Thanks” I said to him with a smile….extending my hand. He took it and shook my hand, smiled .We both hugged each other and he left my flat.
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