Bin Bulaya Mehman - ( Continued by Samit_bhai)

[imles4le]

Shaadi ke liye kapde to kharid liye lekin unhe seelvana bhi tha. Gagan ke office jaane ke baad maine market jaane ka plan banaya. Magar market pahunchi to mujhe shock laga. Market ki sabhi dukane band thi. Tailor ki shops bhi band padi thi. Puchne par pata chala ki market ke sabhi shop walo ne hadtaal kar rakhi hai municipality ke kheelaf. Mujhe kapde jald se jald seelvane the. Main asmanjas mein pad gayi.

Maine rikse wale se puchha,"bhaiya kya yaha aas paas koyi aur bhi tailor hai."

"umm haan madam tailor to hai. Lekin vo thoda dur padega. 60 rupaye lagenge vaha jaane ke."

"uski dukaan bhi band huyi to."

"nahi uski dukan uske ghar mein hi hai. Vo jaroor khuli hogi."

"par 60 rupaye jyada maang rahe ho bhaiya."

"madam 50 de dena. Is se kam mein nahi chalunga." rikse wale ne kaha.

"theek hai chalo."

Koyi 30 minute mein usne mujhe ek ghar ke saamne utaar diya. Ghar ke baahar chhota sa board tanga tha. Board bahut purana nazar aa raha tha. Us par likha huva bilkul bhi nazar nahi aa raha tha. Haan bas ek line thodi dhundali si dikh rahi thi "tailor".

Rikse wala ghar ke nazdik gaya aur awaaj lagayi," abdul kaka"

Kuch der baad ek budha ander se baahar aaya. Uske sar par safed rang ki ***** topi thi. Safed rang ka maila sa kurta pahan rakha tha usne jo ki 2-3 jagah se fata bhi huva tha. Kuch aisa hi haal uski hare rang ki lungi ka bhi tha. Chehre par safed rang ki typical ***** style ki daadhi thi.  baahar aate hi usne mujhe upar se neeche tak dekha aur bola, "bolo aslam kya baat hai."

"madam ko kapde seelvane hain."

"bilkul sahi jagah aayi hain aap mohtarma. Aise kapde seelenge aapke ki husn par chaar chaand lag jaayenge. Aaeeye ander aapka naap le leta hun."

"dekho mujhe shaadi ke liye kapde seelvane hain. Koyi bhi nuks nahi hona chaahiye."

"aap bilkul bhi fikr na karein mohtarma. Shikayat ka moka nahi denge. Aaeeye ander naap de dijiye."

"pahle rate bataao ki kitne mein seeloge."

"rate jyada nahi lagayenge mohtarma aap aaye to sahi. Pahle mera kaam dekhiye. Aapko jo thik lage de dena."

Maine rikse wale ko paise diye aur budhe tailor ke saath ander aa gayi.

Ander ki haalat dekh kar yahi lagta tha ki uski dukan jyada chalti nahi hai. Deewarein dhul mitti se kaali ho gayi thi. Shayad kayi saalon se whitewash nahi huyi thi. Vaise vo uska ghar bhi tha aur shop bhi par uske shiva vaha aur koyi nazar nahi aa raha tha.

"aap yaha akele rahte hain."

"haan mohtarma akela rahta hun. Meri biwi 20 saal pahle gujar gayi thi. Ik lauta beta tha vo dubai chala gaya aur vaha jaakar mujhe bhool gaya."

"oh....abdul kaka mujhe kapde jaldi chaahiye."

"puri koshis karunga mohtarma. Rukiye mein inch tape lekar aata hun."

Mujhe na jaane kyon aisa lag raha tha ki is tailor ke paas kahi kapde khraab na ho jaaye par phir bhi maine vahi kapde seelvane ka taiy kiya. Vaise bhi koyi chaara nahi tha. Market mein hadtaal thi aur mere paas bas isi tailor ki option thi. Delhi mein nayi thi main, kisi aur ko jaanti bhi nahi thi.

Budhe ne naap to shaalinta se liya. Naap lete vakt haaton se koyi aisi vaisi harkat nahi ki jaisi ki aksar tailor logo ke baare mein suna jaata hai.  par uski nazron mein khot tha. Jab vo meri chhaati ka naap le raha tha to uski nazre mere ubharon par hi chipki huyi thi. Vo naap lena bhi bhool gaya tha aur  badi besharmi se bas mere ubharon ko hi ghure ja raha tha. Haar kar mujhe bolna hi pada.

"abdul kaka itne dhyaan se kya dekh rahe hain. Naap lijiye."

Budhe ka turant dhyaan tut gaya aur khaaste huve bola "oh maaf karna mohtarma achaanak hi santron ki yaad aa gayi. Mujhe santre bahut pasand hain."

Mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki kya jawaab dun. Baat hi kuch aisi kahi thi usne.

"jaldi se naap lo mujhe der ho rahi hai."

"bas ho gaya mohtarma. Bura na maane to ek baat puchhun."

"haan puchho."

"aap kaha se hain."

"main bhopal se hun. Yaha kuch din pahle hi aayi hun."

"bhopal mein to bade-bade santre milte hain shayad...yaha to chhote chhote milte hain."

"kya matlab hai tumhara budhe khusat."

"santron ki baat kar raha hun mohtarma aap to khafa ho gayi."

"main khub samajh rahi Hun. Paagal nahi hun main. Main yaha kapde seelvane aayi hun naaki tumhari behuda baate sunane."

"par maine koyi behudgi nahi ki."

"to kya tum meri chhaati ko nahi ghur rahe the."

"naap lete vakt dekhna padta hai mohtarma nahi to galat naap ho jaayega."

"theek hai...theek hai ab ye batao ki kab doge kapde sheel kar."

"bas teen din ka vakt dijiye mujhe. Aap shukarvaar ko le jaana aakar."

Main kapde uski mej par rakh kar chal di. Achaanak mujhe yaad aaya ki rate ki baat to bhul hi gayi. Maine peeche mud kar uski taraf us se rate ke baare mein puchha to kambakhat maine gaur kiya ki vo chalte vakt meri back ko dekh raha tha. Bada hi badmaash buddha tha vo. Rate ki baat usne phir se taal di.

.................

Friday ko subah 10 baje hi main buddhe tailor ki shop par pahunch gayi.

"aaeeye mohtarma aaeeye. Aapke kapse taiyar hain. Aap chaahein to try kar sakti hain."

"haan try to main karungi hi. Agar koyi bhi nuks huva to ek paisa nahi dungi samjhe"

"aap try to kijiye mohtarma phir boliyega. Us kamre mein jaakar try kar lijiye." buddhe ne band darvaje ki taraf ishara karte huve kaha.

Main kapde lekar us kamre mein chali aayi. Ander aate hi main to dang rah gayi. Kamre ki deewaron par khubsurat english models ki tasvire thi. Sabhi models bikni pahne huve thi jo ki kaafi revealing thi.

"mera shak sahi nikla...buddha bahut haraami hai. Dekho kitni ashlil tasvire laga rakhi hain dewaaron par." maine man hi man socha.

Maine ek ek karke sabhi kapde try kiye. Kapde vaakayi mein achhe seele the buddhe ne. Bas mere blouse thode tight lag rahe the. Maine baahar aakar sabse pahle
Buddhe ki kheenchayi ki.

"ye kaisi tasvire laga rakhi hain trial room mein. Sharam nahi aati kya tumhe."

"isme sharam kaahe ki mohtarma. Main bikni bhi sheelta hun."

"kya tum bikni bhi sheelte ho?"

"ji haan...ek company se contract kar rakha hai maine. Aap kahein to ek bikni deekhaun aapko...aap par bahut jachegi."

"n...n...nahi mujhe nahi dekhni."

"dekh lijiye....maine khaaskar aap jaisi khubsurat mahila ke liye hi taiyar kiya hai use. Aap pahan kar deekha dengi to mujhe pata chal jaayega ki meri mahnat safal huyi ki nahi."

"main aur tumhe bikni pahan kar deekhaungi. Shakal dekhi hai aayeene mein apni. Buddha khusat kahi ka."

"beti bade pyar se sheeli hai maine vo bikni. Aur sirf tum hi use pahan kar deekha sakti ho. Mere yaha itni khubsurat mahila roj roj kaha aati hai."

Apni taarif sunana mujhe achha lag raha tha par main use bikni pahan kar nahi deekha sakti thi.

"kya soch rahi hain mohtarma. Main buddha hun. Mujhse kaahe ka dar. Aur main sirf apni banayi bikni ko kisi ko pahne dekhna chaahta hun. Aap jaisi khubsurat mahila use pahnegi to main dhanya mahsus karunga." ye kah kar usne apni almira se ek bikni nikali aur mere haaton mein thama di.

Maine use dekha to mujhe aur gussa aa gaya, "ye bikni pahnu main...isme to sab kuch......"

"mohtarma ye bikni aurat ki khubsurati ko aur achhe se deekhati hai. Aap pahaniye to sahi aap kisi model se kam nahi lagengi. Un deewaron par lagi tasviron mein jo model hain vo bhi aapki khubsurati ka saamna nahi kar paayengi."

Main apni itni taarif se fuli nahi sama rahi thi par vo bikni pahanana mere liye muskil tha.

"kya aap is buddhe ke liye itna bhi nahi kar sakti."

Kyaaaa ab rikhshwala (Aslam aaaaur ye tailor Abdul) dono mil kar ise aage piche dono jagah se chodenge.....(bur... aaaur gaaand).. Agar Aisa hua to bahut maja ayega....
Meri to tino jagah se paaani AA Rahi hai ye soch kar hi....