06-07-2023, 02:37 AM
mainne usakee aankhon mein dekha. ve shaant aur aashvast karane vaale the. vah eemaanadaar lag raha tha. mainne us par vishvaas karana chuna. kyon? mujhen nahin pata.
shaayad yah prastaav ka romaanch tha, chunautee jeetane ka mauka tha, ya shuddh shaareerik ichchha thee. mainne sveekrti mein sir hilaaya.
"apana vaada yaad rakhen," mainne use yaad dilaaya.
vah muskuraaya aur bistar kee chaadar par let gaya, usaka land aasamaan kee taraph tha. lagabhag dopahar ho chukee thee, haalaanki mujhe samay ka dhyaan nahin raha.
"dheere se baitho aur ise andar lo," usane apane kadak land kee or ishaara kiya.
main usake oopar donon taraph pair karake khada ho gaya aur dheere-dheere khud ko neeche kar liya. usane apane land ko ek haath se aise pakad rakha tha jaise usane koee rod pakad rakhee ho. yah tel se dhaka hua tha aur dopahar kee dhoop mein chamak raha tha.
jaise hee meree choot ke honthon ne usake land ke sire ko chhua, mujhe apanee galatee ka ehasaas hua. meree choot ka chhed bahut chhota tha aur usaka land bahut bada tha. yah andar nahin jaega.
apane hothon ko apanee ungaliyon se phailao, usane meree pareshaanee samajhee. "apana chhed kholo."
jaisa mujhase kaha gaya tha vais mainne kiya. lekin udghaatan abhee bhee bahut chhota tha. main bamushkil usake land ke sire ko chhed ke andar le ja paee thee ki vah phans gaya.
"yah phans gaya hai!" mainne usase kaha.
“thoda aur neeche kee or dhakelo,” vah muskuraaya. “tumhaare chhed ke andar kaaphee tel aur ras hai. chinta mat karo."
vah sahee tha. mainne us par apane shareer ka adhik vajan daala, aur usake ling par lage tel ke kaaran poora sira andar ghus gaya. itana bada, itana sakht, ya itana mota kuchh bhee kabhee meree yonee mein nahin gaya tha.
us dande ne meree choot kee bheetaree deevaaron aur baaharee honthon ko kalpana se bhee pare phaila diya. main apane andar itanee badee cheez ko lekar spasht roop se asahaj tha, aur usane use pooree tarah se andar dhakelane ke lie bilkul ant mein thoda oopar kee or dhakka diya. dard hua, lekin mainne dard sah liya.
"apanee baahen mere kandhon ke chaaron or lapeto," usane uthate hue nirdesh diya, "aur apane pair meree kamar ke chaaron or lapeto."
mainne donon kiya. vah khada hai. aur achaanak, main hava mein tair raha tha!
meree baahen usake kandhon ke chaaron or lipatee huee theen, mere pair sahaare ke lie usakee kamar ke chaaron or lipate hue the. jeetukaaka chalane lage. usake haath aazaad the, mujhe bilkul bhee nahin pakad rahe the. vah seedhiyon se neeche doosaree manjil par aaya aur pahalee manjil aur phir graund phlor par utarata raha.
vah living room, baalakanee, kichan, baatharoom aur stor room tak chala gaya. main us anubhooti ka varnan nahin kar sakata jo mainne mahasoos kee. kisee purush kee baahon mein ghar ke chaaron or ghoomana apane aap mein ek bahut achchha ehasaas hai. lekin usake land dvaara idhar-udhar le jaaya jaana kisee abhootapoorv se kam nahin hai.
is aadamee ke land mein thee shaitaanee taakat! unhonne graund phlor ka daura poora kiya aur seedhiyaan chadhakar pahalee manjil par pahunche. vah har kamare, baalakanee aur baatharoom mein daakhil hua aur pratyek mein lagabhag ek minat bitaaya. romaanch, utsaah aur ghor avishvaas ne mujhe itana geela kar diya ki meree yoni se ras bahane laga.
main karaahane laga. naramee se. ant mein, vah doosaree manjil par aaya, mere shayanakaksh mein pravesh kiya aur darpan ke saamane khada ho gaya. usane usakee or ishaara kiya aur mainne dekhane ke lie apana sir ghumaaya. jo chhavi mainne darpan mein dekhee vah sadaiv meree smrti mein rahegee.
jeetukaaka darpan mein ek vishaal baalon vaale jaanavar kee tarah lag raha tha. usake haath usakee kamar par the, usaka land mere andar gaayab ho chuka tha aur sirph usakee goliyaan dikh rahee theen. vo meree choot ke ras se bheeg gaye the. main itana geela ho gaya tha ki mera ras neeche pharsh par tapakata hua usakee gendon tak pahunch gaya.
main ek ped ke tane ko gale lagaatee huee ek chhotee ladakee kee tarah lag rahee thee. aur bahut kamazor aur chhota mahasoos karane laga. aisa laga jaise mere 52 kilo ke phrem ka koee matalab nahin hai! achaanak, yah adhed umr ka mota keyaratekar mere man, shareer aur aatma ko pooree tarah se niyantrit karane laga. usake baad mera aatmavishvaas kabhee vaapas nahin aaya.
jeetookaaka mujhe phir se chhat par le gaye. usane apana land baahar nikaale bina hee mujhe saavadhaanee se bedasheet par lita diya. vah abhee bhee mere andar tha. aur main svarg mein tha.
"isalie? mainne chunautee jeet lee, vah ek vijeta kee tarah muskuraaya. mainne sir hilaaya. unhonne kaha, ab, main jo chaahoon vah karane ke lie svatantr hoon.
"aap kya chaahate hain?" mainne ghabaraakar poochha
"main tumhen apana poora veery pilaana chaahata hoon," usane vaasana se kaha.
"kya?" main ghabara gaya. “nahin jeetookaaka, main keval 19 saal ka hoon.”
"aap pake aur raseele hain," unhonne uttar diya.
mainne usakee aankhon mein dekha. usaka yahee matalab tha. vah apana saara beej mere andar daal dena chaahata tha. unhonne chunautee jeet lee. usane apana man bana liya tha. yah aa raha tha.
"lekin main garbhavatee nahin ho sakatee!" mainne namrataapoorvak vinatee kee.
"main tumhen kal sthaaneey phaarmesee se ek golee laoonga," unhonne mujhe aashvaasan diya.
mainne bhay aur pratyaasha se apanee aankhen band kar leen. vo apana land mere andar baahar nikaalane laga. dheere se. bahut dheere se. usane poora baahar nikaala aur phir andar dhakelana shuroo kiya, phir dheere-dheere. bahut dheere se. itana dheere-dheere ki usake pooree tarah andar aane se pahale main 10 tak gin sakatee thee. aur 10 sekand pahale vah pooree tarah se baahar tha.
jeetookaaka ne ek ghante tak meree choot se khela. 10 sekand tak dheere-dheere andar daalen, phir 10 sekand tak dheere-dheere baahar nikaalen. jab usaka land dheemee gati se andar-baahar ho raha tha to mujhe dard kam aur aanand adhik mahasoos hua.
main karaahata raha aur sahata raha, sahata raha aur karaahata raha. main baar-baar apane saphed ras se chaadar ko bhar detee thee. mainne samay ka dhyaan, khud par niyantran aur apanee prem nahar ko chhodakar shareer ke har hisse mein sanvedana kho dee.
aakhirakaar, anant kaal ke baad, usane apana veery mere andar chhod diya. unaka sraav itana adhik tha ki vah uthakar chhat se baahar bhee chale gae. ek ghante se adhik samay tak usaka malaeedaar saphed taral padaarth meree choot se nikalata raha.
shaam ho chukee thee jab main chaadar se uthee aur apanee naitee uthaee. sooraj pahale hee doob chuka tha. mere pair parishram aur jabaradast anubhav se kaamp rahe the. mera shareer paseene se lathapath tha. isase pahale ki main apane kamare tak pahunchane ke lie seedhiyaan chadh paata, jeetukaaka mujhe dekhane aaye.
usane mere pair kaampate hue dekhe aur turant mujhe apanee baahon mein utha liya. vah mujhe mere kamare mein le gaya, phir mere baatharoom mein. usane mujhe shovar ke neeche bithaaya aur use chaaloo kar diya. usane mere poore shareer par saabun lagaaya, saara tel saaf kiya aur mere chhed saaf kar diye. mujhamen khade hone kee taakat nahin thee.
usane mujhe tauliye se ponchha aur phir se mujhe bhootal par bane bhojan kaksh mein le gaya. jab main chhat par letee huee thee aur meree yoni se veery nikal raha tha, tab usane raat ka khaana taiyaar kar liya tha. main daining cheyar par nanga baith gaya aur khaana khaaya. mainne aaj dopahar ka bhojan nahin kiya tha. subah naashta karane ke baad se main chhat par tha.
raat ke khaane ke baad, jeetukaaka mujhe apanee baahon mein uthaakar chhat par apane kamare mein le gaya. "tum chalane kee sthiti mein nahin ho, isalie tum aaj raat yaheen so jao," unhonne mujhe bistar par litaate hue kaha. "agar tumhen kisee cheez kee zaroorat ho to mujhe jaga dena."
vah pharsh par let gaya aur main usake bistar par so gaee. jab main agalee subah uthee, to mujhe takiye ke paas garbhanirodhak goliyon kee ek pattee milee, jis par jeetookaaka ka hastalikhit not tha, "ise apane paas rakho. ise apane paas rakho." aapako isakee aavashyakata hogee.”
teesara din
mainne not padha, pattee se ek golee lee, use paanee ke saath nigal liya aur chaaron or dekha. main jeetukaaka ke kamare mein, unake bistar par tha. subah ho chukee thee aur vah kaheen nazar nahin aa raha tha.
achaanak, mujhe apane pairon ke beech kuchh hilata hua mahasoos hua. kuchh daraavana. meree yonee par ek prakaar kee gudagudee ho rahee thee. mainne neeche dekha aur meree choot mein ek chhote se kaale keede ke ghusate hue drshy ko dekha.
oh teree! yah kya hai? ek cheentee? ya kuchh aur? isase pahale ki main pratikriya kar paatee aur use baahar kheench paatee, vah meree bur mein ghus chuka tha. main ghabara gaya aur jaldee se use baahar nikaalane ke lie apanee ungalee daal dee. lekin bahut der ho chukee thee. keeda andar gaayab ho gaya tha!
main bistar se uth khada hua. main pharsh par uchhal pada. mainne ghabaraahat mein apane haath-pair patak diye. aur phir mujhe vah gudagudee phir se mahasoos huee, is baar meree choot ke andar gaharaee tak. cheentee andar tak ghusatee ja rahee thee!
main bistar ke kinaare par baith gaee, apane pair phailae aur apanee ungalee pooree tarah se apanee yoni mein daal dee. mainne aasapaas jaanch kee, use dhoondhane kee koshish kee aur use baahar nikaala. lekin yah kaam nahin aaya. mainne apanee ungalee baahar nikaalee, aur us par jeetukaaka ke kal girae gae thode se veery ke alaava kuchh bhee nahin tha.
“jeetukaaka!” main ghabaraahat mein chillaaya, "jaldee aao."
vah neeche se daudata hua aaya. "mujhe rasoee mein rahana pada tha. kya hua?"
"mere andar kuchh ghus gaya..." mainne apanee choot kee or ishaara kiya, vistaar se bataane mein asamarth thee kyonki main abhee bhee sadame mein thee.
"tumhaara andar kya matalab hai?" vah hairaan lag raha tha.
“ek keeda, shaayad ek cheentee. mujhe nahin pata, main chilla raha tha.
usane turant mujhe bistar ke kinaare par baithaaya aur mere pairon ko apane haathon se alag kar diya. phir usane apanee beech vaalee ungalee ko tel mein duboya aur bina kisee chetaavanee ke seedhe meree choot ke chhed mein daal diya.
agale 5 minat tak, usakee motee ungalee meree geelee nahar ke andar ghere banaatee rahee, baen aur daen, oopar aur neeche, kabhee-kabhee mote taur par ghoomatee rahee. mujhe bechainee, halka dard aur bahut geelaapan mahasoos hua, lekin jyaadaatar chinta is baat kee thee ki kya hoga.
phir usane apanee ungalee nikaalee aur mere saamane rakh dee. vah tel aur mere geelepan se sana hua tha, lekin koee keeda nahin tha.
"ab kya ho?" meree chinta ka star badh gaya. "ise baahar nikaalo, kuchh karo!"
"kya hai vah? ek cheentee?" jeetukaaka ne poochha. "yah andar kaise aaya?"
“yah bas rengata hua andar aa gaya. aur kaise? ye sab tumhaaree galatee hai. aapane mujhase paintee na pahanane ke lie kaha tha. dekho kya hua hai, main chillaaya.
vah kuchh sekand tak chup raha aur phir uttar diya, “keeda tumhaaree yonee kee gandh aur ras se aakarshit hua hoga. isamen meree galatee kaise hai? ise baahar nikaalane ka ek hee tareeka hai. aapako sahane kee jaroorat hai.
"kya?" mujhe usake sujhaav par yakeen nahin ho raha tha.
"yah kaise kaam karega?"
“theek hai, yah apane aap saamane nahin aaega. isalie, hamen ise khatm karana hoga,” unhonne samajhaaya. "aapaka ras ise khatm kar sakata hai."
mainne ek kshan socha, phir adheerata se uttar diya, “to phir karo. jaldee se. bhagavaan jaane ye baat kitanee andar tak chalee gayee hai. main nahin chaahata ki yah ab vahaan rahe.”
jeetookaaka ne meree yoni mein ungalee karana shuroo kar diya. tez. phir jor-jor se. vah pratikshan apanee gati badhaata raha. kuchh hee sekand mein main jor-jor se karaahane lagee. meree choot behad geelee aur dheelee ho gayee thee. kuchh hee minaton mein main charamotkarsh par pahunch gaya.
meree yonee se saphed taral padaarth nikala aur meree jaanghon aur taangon se hote hue bistar par aur antatah pharsh par bah gaya. main thakakar bistar par gir pada aur aadha behosh ho gaya. jeetookaaka cheentee ko khojane ke lie ghutanon ke bal baith gaya, is ummeed mein ki cheentee meree choot ke ras mein mil jaegee. lekin vah niraash dikhe.
"yah yahaan nahin hai," unhonne kaha, "abhee bhee andar hona chaahie."
"are!" mainne shaap diya. itanee mehanat aur phir bhee koee nateeja nahin. mujhe niraasha mahasoos huee.
jeetukaaka ne ghoshana kee, "ek aakhiree vikalp hai, agar vah kaam nahin karata hai, to kuchh aur nahin hoga."
“kaun sa vikalp? mujhe batao."
“pahale ise maarane ke lie hamen koee badee aur majaboot cheez daalanee hogee. jab tak yah jeevit rahega, yah baahar nahin aaega, unhonne kaha. "aur ise maarane ke baad, hamen ise baahar nikaal dena chaahie, is baar adhik ras ke saath."
“matalab…..” mainne usake man ko padhane kee koshish kee.
“mujhe ise apane dong se maarana hoga. phir apane andar mere veery ko bhar do. yahee aakhiree vikalp bacha hai.”
mainne apanee aankhen band kar leen - niraasha, hataasha ya sharm se - main nahin bata sakata. kya mujhe us keede ko baahar nikaalane ke lie jeetookaaka se dobaara chudaee karaanee hogee? mujhe sthiti kee niraasha ka ehasaas hua aur mainne sahamati mein apana sir hilaaya. mainne praarthana kee ki is baar yah kaam kare.
jeetookaaka ne mujhe bistar ke kinaare par donon taraph pair phailaakar lita rakha. vah mere pairon ke beech pharsh par khada ho gaya aur meree phisalan bharee chhed ke udghaatan par apanee kathor kaalee chhadee ko chhua
"isase dukh ho sakata hai, daro mat." yah kah kar usane jor se aage kee or jor lagaaya. main dard se chilla uthee kyonki usaka vishaal land bina kisee chetaavanee ke meree komal choot mein ghus gaya. vah 5 sekand tak ruka, phir dobaara ghus gaya. main dard se paagal ho gaya.
kal, chhat par, vah dheema aur saumy tha. lekin ab, vah ek raakshas kee tarah jangalee aur kroor tha. jab main is hinsak prahaar ko jhelane kee koshish kar raha tha to meree aankhon se aansoo bah nikale. "dheere jaiye. yah dukhadaayak hai!" main chillaaya. lekin vah chalata raha.
"mujhe ise maarana hoga, dheemee gati se nahin chal sakata," usane uttar diya. "main aadhe raaste mein hoon."
bas aadha raasta? aur mujhe pahale se hee mara hua mahasoos hua. ek baar jab vah pooree tarah aa jaega to kya hoga?
usake dhakke tez, ugr aur kathor ho gaye. mera dard tez, gambheer aur asahaneey ho gaya. mera poora shareer kaamp raha tha, mere stan hil rahe the, meree cheekhen tez ho gaeen aur meree peshaab mein jalan hone lagee. yah itane lambe samay tak chalata raha ki mujhe samay ka dhyaan hee nahin raha.
“thaap! thaap!” usake bade-bade bhaaree gole mere nitambon par thapede maar rahe the aur aisee ashleel aavaaj nikaal rahe the. vah itanee taakat se andar-baahar kar raha tha ki main har sekand usakee kathor kaalee chhadee ko meree garbhaashay greeva par takaraate hue mahasoos kar sakatee thee. usake land mein shaitaanee taakat thee. yah maanaveey nahin laga.
30 minat tak kroor, bhaaree prahaaron se meree choot ko thokane-peetane aur nasht karane ke baad, jeetukaaka ne apana veery tyaag diya aur mere andar paanee bhar diya. main nishchal, bedam aur ardh-chetan avastha mein leta hua tha. usake gaadhe chipachipe taral padaarth ka gailan meree yonee se nikalakar meree taangon se hote hue pharsh par bahane laga.
"yah paaya!" jab usane meree jaangh se apanee ungaliyon se kuchh uthaaya to vah uttejana mein chillaaya.
main dekhane ke lie mushkil se apanee aankhen khol saka. yah ek chhote kaale dhabbe jaisa lag raha tha - shaayad ek cheentee - malaeedaar saphed veery mein dhaka hua. vah bechaaree hil nahin rahee thee, shaayad mar gaee thee, ya to pitaee se ya doobane se.
main jashn manaane kee haalat mein nahin tha. mujhe is baat se raahat milee ki prayog saphal raha, main baithane aur aasaanee se saans lene kee sthiti mein nahin tha. mujhe itanee berahamee se kabhee nahin choda gaya. aaj tak nahin.
din 4
main agalee subah jeetukaaka ke bistar par utha. dobaara. mujhe yaad nahin aa raha ki main yahaan kaise pahunch gaya. pichhala din bahut dhundhala sa lag raha tha. subah mujhe berahamee se peetane ke baad poore din kya hua, mujhe bamushkil yaad aa raha hai. kya main so gaya? kya mainne snaan kiya? khaana? mujhe koee yaadadaasht nahin thee.
main har taraph dekha. bedasheet kal jaisee hee thee. yah veery ke dhabbon se bhara hua tha - bade, gol dhabbe - unamen se bahut saare the. mujhe pharsh par veery ke dhabbe bhee mile. jeetukaaka ne kal se na to pharsh saaph kiya tha aur na hee bistar kee chaadar badalee thee.
mainne ek taaza naitagaun pahana hua tha jo main ghar se laaya tha. kya mainne ise svayan pahana tha? main javaab paane ka nishchay karake neeche gaya. khaane ke saath-saath mujhe bhookh bhee lagane lagee.
jeetookaaka rasoee mein khaana bana rahe the. mujhe dekh kar vah palata aur bola, naashta taiyaar hai. bred, jaim, makkhan, chaay.”
mujhe itanee bhookh lagee thee ki mainne usake haath se naashte kee plet le lee aur kichan mein khade hokar khaane laga.
"jeetukaaka, main aaj subah aapake bistar par kaise pahunchee?" mainne usase poochha.
“tumhaaree tabeeyat theek nahin thee, chhotee raanee,” usane uttar diya, “isalie mainne tumhen nahalaaya, tumhaare kapade badale aur tumhen apane kamare mein le gaya.”
jaisa ki mainne socha tha, lekin mujhe kal kee koee yaad nahin thee.
chaay ke saath naashta karate hue mainne usase kaha, "aapane apane kamare mein pharsh saaph nahin kiya hai ya bistar kee chaadar nahin badalee hai."
“koee samay nahin tha. mujhe tumhaare chhedon ko dhona aur saaph karana pada, usane besharmee se uttar diya. phir usane meree naitee uthaee, mere nange nitambon ko ghoora aur kaha, “tum to din bhar leek kar rahe the. mujhe tumhen 5 baar nahalaana pada. ab aap saaf dikh rahe hain.”
main usakee baaton aur meree nangee gaand par usakee vaasana bharee najar se sharminda thee. phir mainne usakee lungee ke neeche kroch kshetr mein parichit vishaal ubhaar dekha.
"aapako ek din mein kitanee baar kathinaee hotee hai?" mainne utsukata se poochha.
“aamataur par 5-6 baar. lekin jis din se aap aaye hain, yah 10-12 guna badh gaya hai, unhonne uttar diya.
din mein 10-12 baar! ek madhyam aayu varg ke vyakti ke lie yah asaamaany lag raha tha. asaamaany bhee.
"aur aap us sthiti mein kya karate hain?" mainne poochh liya.
"main ek chhed dhoondh raha hoon." itana kah kar usane apanee ungalee kisaan jaim ke jaar mein duba dee aur meree choot par jaim malane laga.
main uchhal pada. “nahin, jeetukaaka. vahaan nahin! yah abhee bhee dard hota hai. yah jakhmee aur sooja hua hai.”
“lekin mujhe ab ek chhed kee zaroorat hai. main kathor hoon, vah ade hue the. “theek hai, phir mujhe isaka svaad chakhane do.”
vah rasoee ke pharsh par baith gaya aur main khadee rahee. usane meree choot par jaim kee boonden mal deen aur chaatane laga. pahale to yah ajeeb laga - jaim chipachipa lag raha tha jabaki usakee jeebh phisalan bharee thee - lekin mujhe isakee aadat ho gaee. meree saansen tez ho gaeen, meree taangen kaanpane lageen aur meree choot se paanee nikalane laga.
"yah meetha aur namakeen hai!" usane khushee se kaha, jisase mujhe 10 minat mein charamotkarsh praapt hua. main bhaagyashaalee tha ki usake shuroo hone se pahale hee mainne apana naashta khatm kar liya. isase mujhe khade rahane kee kuchh taakat milee.
phir vah utha, mujhe rasoee kee mej par jhukaaya, apanee ungalee amool makkhan mein duboee aur meree gaand ke chhed par laga dee. mujhe pata tha ki kya aa raha tha. use apane land ke lie ek chhed kee zaroorat thee aur vah ise paane ke lie krtasankalp tha.
usane meree gaand ke chhed par makkhan lagaaya aur phir apanee ungalee se andar tak lagaaya. phir usane apanee ungalee baahar nikaalee aur apane land ke sire ko meree makkhan lagee gaand ke chhed par chhua. mainne apanee aankhen band kar leen aur khud ko usake aakraman ke lie maanasik roop se taiyaar kar liya. usane pooree taakat se aakraman kiya.
usaka mota sakht land meree chhotee gaand ke chhed ko adhikatam seema tak phaila deta hai. main dard se chillaatee rahee jabaki vah khushee se gurraata raha. usaka land meree gaand ke hisaab se itana bada tha ki aadha andar jaane ke baad hee phans gaya, phir bhee vo saand kee tarah use thokata raha.
apana maal andar giraane se pahale usane lagabhag 20 minat tak meree kunvaaree gaand ko thoka aur pamp kiya. jaise hee vah peechhe hata, meree gaand ke chhed se gaadhe malaeedaar veery kee boonden neeche pharsh par tapakane lageen. isamen vahee parichit gandh thee - bleech jaisee tez durgandh - pichhale dinon kee.
main poore din chal nahin saka. jab bhee mujhe peshaab karana hota tha to jeetukaaka mujhe shauchaalay mein le jaate the. usane mujhe nahalaaya, khaana khilaaya, khud suar kee tarah khaaya aur phir raakshas kee tarah mujhe peeta. lanch ke baad usane mujhe choda. dinar ke baad usane mujhe choda. usane mujhe itanee baar choda ki meree ginatee hee khatm ho gayee.
mujhe bas itana yaad hai ki main poore din na to chal sakata tha aur na hee baith sakata tha.
din 5
main phir se jeetukaaka ke bistar par jaaga. kal aadhee raat ke baad vah phir mujhe apane kamare mein le gaya. doosare din ke baad se mainne apane kamare mein ek bhee raat nahin bitaee. yahaan meree pahalee raat ekamaatr aisee raat thee jab main apane bistar par soya tha.
main neeche apane kamare mein gaya, apane kapade utaare, apane bistar par baith gaya aur sheeshe mein dekha. main apane aap ko nahin pahachaan saka. mere baal bikhare hue the. mere nipals, koolhon aur jaanghon par kaatane ke nishaan the. mere nitamb bhee chaude ho gaye the. mainne apane pair phailae aur sheeshe mein dekha.
meree gaand ka chhed, jo pichhale haphte tak ek chhote kaale bindu jaisa dikhata tha, ab ek chaude udghaatan ke saath ek gaharee surang jaisa dikhata hai. andar saphed veery ke chhote-chhote jamaav the. meree choot ke honth phool gaye the aur sooj kar laal ho gaye the. main apanee choot kee nahar ke andar veery ke saphed chipachipe dhabbe bhee dekh sakatee thee.
aur chhed chauda ho gaya tha. mujhe har samay veery kee gandh aatee rahatee thee. jeetukaaka ke veery kee bleech jaisee tez badaboo ab mere poore shareer par thee. jab bhee vah mujhe apane land se chodata tha to meree karaahen ghar ke har kamare mein goonj uthatee theen. yah ek veshyaalay kee tarah lag raha tha, aur main ek phoohad kee tarah lag rahee thee.
jeetukaaka kee lagaataar pitaee kee na to koee shuruaat thee aur na hee koee ant. din-raat, subah se shaam tak aur aadhee raat ke baad bhee, vah apane gande land se mere chhedon mein chhed karata tha. vah suar kee tarah khaega aur raakshas kee tarah chodega. "mujhe apana pet bhara aur andakosh khaalee rakhana hai," usaka bahaana tha.
aaj yahaan mere pravaas ka 5vaan aur aakhiree din hai. mere maata-pita mujhe lene aur ghar lautane ke lie kal aaenge. unhen kabhee pata nahin chalega ki aazaadee ke in 5 dinon ke lie mujhe kitanee keemat chukaanee padee. aur main phir kabhee apane puraane svaroop mein nahin laut paoonga. in 5 dinon ne mujhe hamesha ke lie badal diya hai.
shaayad yah prastaav ka romaanch tha, chunautee jeetane ka mauka tha, ya shuddh shaareerik ichchha thee. mainne sveekrti mein sir hilaaya.
"apana vaada yaad rakhen," mainne use yaad dilaaya.
vah muskuraaya aur bistar kee chaadar par let gaya, usaka land aasamaan kee taraph tha. lagabhag dopahar ho chukee thee, haalaanki mujhe samay ka dhyaan nahin raha.
"dheere se baitho aur ise andar lo," usane apane kadak land kee or ishaara kiya.
main usake oopar donon taraph pair karake khada ho gaya aur dheere-dheere khud ko neeche kar liya. usane apane land ko ek haath se aise pakad rakha tha jaise usane koee rod pakad rakhee ho. yah tel se dhaka hua tha aur dopahar kee dhoop mein chamak raha tha.
jaise hee meree choot ke honthon ne usake land ke sire ko chhua, mujhe apanee galatee ka ehasaas hua. meree choot ka chhed bahut chhota tha aur usaka land bahut bada tha. yah andar nahin jaega.
apane hothon ko apanee ungaliyon se phailao, usane meree pareshaanee samajhee. "apana chhed kholo."
jaisa mujhase kaha gaya tha vais mainne kiya. lekin udghaatan abhee bhee bahut chhota tha. main bamushkil usake land ke sire ko chhed ke andar le ja paee thee ki vah phans gaya.
"yah phans gaya hai!" mainne usase kaha.
“thoda aur neeche kee or dhakelo,” vah muskuraaya. “tumhaare chhed ke andar kaaphee tel aur ras hai. chinta mat karo."
vah sahee tha. mainne us par apane shareer ka adhik vajan daala, aur usake ling par lage tel ke kaaran poora sira andar ghus gaya. itana bada, itana sakht, ya itana mota kuchh bhee kabhee meree yonee mein nahin gaya tha.
us dande ne meree choot kee bheetaree deevaaron aur baaharee honthon ko kalpana se bhee pare phaila diya. main apane andar itanee badee cheez ko lekar spasht roop se asahaj tha, aur usane use pooree tarah se andar dhakelane ke lie bilkul ant mein thoda oopar kee or dhakka diya. dard hua, lekin mainne dard sah liya.
"apanee baahen mere kandhon ke chaaron or lapeto," usane uthate hue nirdesh diya, "aur apane pair meree kamar ke chaaron or lapeto."
mainne donon kiya. vah khada hai. aur achaanak, main hava mein tair raha tha!
meree baahen usake kandhon ke chaaron or lipatee huee theen, mere pair sahaare ke lie usakee kamar ke chaaron or lipate hue the. jeetukaaka chalane lage. usake haath aazaad the, mujhe bilkul bhee nahin pakad rahe the. vah seedhiyon se neeche doosaree manjil par aaya aur pahalee manjil aur phir graund phlor par utarata raha.
vah living room, baalakanee, kichan, baatharoom aur stor room tak chala gaya. main us anubhooti ka varnan nahin kar sakata jo mainne mahasoos kee. kisee purush kee baahon mein ghar ke chaaron or ghoomana apane aap mein ek bahut achchha ehasaas hai. lekin usake land dvaara idhar-udhar le jaaya jaana kisee abhootapoorv se kam nahin hai.
is aadamee ke land mein thee shaitaanee taakat! unhonne graund phlor ka daura poora kiya aur seedhiyaan chadhakar pahalee manjil par pahunche. vah har kamare, baalakanee aur baatharoom mein daakhil hua aur pratyek mein lagabhag ek minat bitaaya. romaanch, utsaah aur ghor avishvaas ne mujhe itana geela kar diya ki meree yoni se ras bahane laga.
main karaahane laga. naramee se. ant mein, vah doosaree manjil par aaya, mere shayanakaksh mein pravesh kiya aur darpan ke saamane khada ho gaya. usane usakee or ishaara kiya aur mainne dekhane ke lie apana sir ghumaaya. jo chhavi mainne darpan mein dekhee vah sadaiv meree smrti mein rahegee.
jeetukaaka darpan mein ek vishaal baalon vaale jaanavar kee tarah lag raha tha. usake haath usakee kamar par the, usaka land mere andar gaayab ho chuka tha aur sirph usakee goliyaan dikh rahee theen. vo meree choot ke ras se bheeg gaye the. main itana geela ho gaya tha ki mera ras neeche pharsh par tapakata hua usakee gendon tak pahunch gaya.
main ek ped ke tane ko gale lagaatee huee ek chhotee ladakee kee tarah lag rahee thee. aur bahut kamazor aur chhota mahasoos karane laga. aisa laga jaise mere 52 kilo ke phrem ka koee matalab nahin hai! achaanak, yah adhed umr ka mota keyaratekar mere man, shareer aur aatma ko pooree tarah se niyantrit karane laga. usake baad mera aatmavishvaas kabhee vaapas nahin aaya.
jeetookaaka mujhe phir se chhat par le gaye. usane apana land baahar nikaale bina hee mujhe saavadhaanee se bedasheet par lita diya. vah abhee bhee mere andar tha. aur main svarg mein tha.
"isalie? mainne chunautee jeet lee, vah ek vijeta kee tarah muskuraaya. mainne sir hilaaya. unhonne kaha, ab, main jo chaahoon vah karane ke lie svatantr hoon.
"aap kya chaahate hain?" mainne ghabaraakar poochha
"main tumhen apana poora veery pilaana chaahata hoon," usane vaasana se kaha.
"kya?" main ghabara gaya. “nahin jeetookaaka, main keval 19 saal ka hoon.”
"aap pake aur raseele hain," unhonne uttar diya.
mainne usakee aankhon mein dekha. usaka yahee matalab tha. vah apana saara beej mere andar daal dena chaahata tha. unhonne chunautee jeet lee. usane apana man bana liya tha. yah aa raha tha.
"lekin main garbhavatee nahin ho sakatee!" mainne namrataapoorvak vinatee kee.
"main tumhen kal sthaaneey phaarmesee se ek golee laoonga," unhonne mujhe aashvaasan diya.
mainne bhay aur pratyaasha se apanee aankhen band kar leen. vo apana land mere andar baahar nikaalane laga. dheere se. bahut dheere se. usane poora baahar nikaala aur phir andar dhakelana shuroo kiya, phir dheere-dheere. bahut dheere se. itana dheere-dheere ki usake pooree tarah andar aane se pahale main 10 tak gin sakatee thee. aur 10 sekand pahale vah pooree tarah se baahar tha.
jeetookaaka ne ek ghante tak meree choot se khela. 10 sekand tak dheere-dheere andar daalen, phir 10 sekand tak dheere-dheere baahar nikaalen. jab usaka land dheemee gati se andar-baahar ho raha tha to mujhe dard kam aur aanand adhik mahasoos hua.
main karaahata raha aur sahata raha, sahata raha aur karaahata raha. main baar-baar apane saphed ras se chaadar ko bhar detee thee. mainne samay ka dhyaan, khud par niyantran aur apanee prem nahar ko chhodakar shareer ke har hisse mein sanvedana kho dee.
aakhirakaar, anant kaal ke baad, usane apana veery mere andar chhod diya. unaka sraav itana adhik tha ki vah uthakar chhat se baahar bhee chale gae. ek ghante se adhik samay tak usaka malaeedaar saphed taral padaarth meree choot se nikalata raha.
shaam ho chukee thee jab main chaadar se uthee aur apanee naitee uthaee. sooraj pahale hee doob chuka tha. mere pair parishram aur jabaradast anubhav se kaamp rahe the. mera shareer paseene se lathapath tha. isase pahale ki main apane kamare tak pahunchane ke lie seedhiyaan chadh paata, jeetukaaka mujhe dekhane aaye.
usane mere pair kaampate hue dekhe aur turant mujhe apanee baahon mein utha liya. vah mujhe mere kamare mein le gaya, phir mere baatharoom mein. usane mujhe shovar ke neeche bithaaya aur use chaaloo kar diya. usane mere poore shareer par saabun lagaaya, saara tel saaf kiya aur mere chhed saaf kar diye. mujhamen khade hone kee taakat nahin thee.
usane mujhe tauliye se ponchha aur phir se mujhe bhootal par bane bhojan kaksh mein le gaya. jab main chhat par letee huee thee aur meree yoni se veery nikal raha tha, tab usane raat ka khaana taiyaar kar liya tha. main daining cheyar par nanga baith gaya aur khaana khaaya. mainne aaj dopahar ka bhojan nahin kiya tha. subah naashta karane ke baad se main chhat par tha.
raat ke khaane ke baad, jeetukaaka mujhe apanee baahon mein uthaakar chhat par apane kamare mein le gaya. "tum chalane kee sthiti mein nahin ho, isalie tum aaj raat yaheen so jao," unhonne mujhe bistar par litaate hue kaha. "agar tumhen kisee cheez kee zaroorat ho to mujhe jaga dena."
vah pharsh par let gaya aur main usake bistar par so gaee. jab main agalee subah uthee, to mujhe takiye ke paas garbhanirodhak goliyon kee ek pattee milee, jis par jeetookaaka ka hastalikhit not tha, "ise apane paas rakho. ise apane paas rakho." aapako isakee aavashyakata hogee.”
teesara din
mainne not padha, pattee se ek golee lee, use paanee ke saath nigal liya aur chaaron or dekha. main jeetukaaka ke kamare mein, unake bistar par tha. subah ho chukee thee aur vah kaheen nazar nahin aa raha tha.
achaanak, mujhe apane pairon ke beech kuchh hilata hua mahasoos hua. kuchh daraavana. meree yonee par ek prakaar kee gudagudee ho rahee thee. mainne neeche dekha aur meree choot mein ek chhote se kaale keede ke ghusate hue drshy ko dekha.
oh teree! yah kya hai? ek cheentee? ya kuchh aur? isase pahale ki main pratikriya kar paatee aur use baahar kheench paatee, vah meree bur mein ghus chuka tha. main ghabara gaya aur jaldee se use baahar nikaalane ke lie apanee ungalee daal dee. lekin bahut der ho chukee thee. keeda andar gaayab ho gaya tha!
main bistar se uth khada hua. main pharsh par uchhal pada. mainne ghabaraahat mein apane haath-pair patak diye. aur phir mujhe vah gudagudee phir se mahasoos huee, is baar meree choot ke andar gaharaee tak. cheentee andar tak ghusatee ja rahee thee!
main bistar ke kinaare par baith gaee, apane pair phailae aur apanee ungalee pooree tarah se apanee yoni mein daal dee. mainne aasapaas jaanch kee, use dhoondhane kee koshish kee aur use baahar nikaala. lekin yah kaam nahin aaya. mainne apanee ungalee baahar nikaalee, aur us par jeetukaaka ke kal girae gae thode se veery ke alaava kuchh bhee nahin tha.
“jeetukaaka!” main ghabaraahat mein chillaaya, "jaldee aao."
vah neeche se daudata hua aaya. "mujhe rasoee mein rahana pada tha. kya hua?"
"mere andar kuchh ghus gaya..." mainne apanee choot kee or ishaara kiya, vistaar se bataane mein asamarth thee kyonki main abhee bhee sadame mein thee.
"tumhaara andar kya matalab hai?" vah hairaan lag raha tha.
“ek keeda, shaayad ek cheentee. mujhe nahin pata, main chilla raha tha.
usane turant mujhe bistar ke kinaare par baithaaya aur mere pairon ko apane haathon se alag kar diya. phir usane apanee beech vaalee ungalee ko tel mein duboya aur bina kisee chetaavanee ke seedhe meree choot ke chhed mein daal diya.
agale 5 minat tak, usakee motee ungalee meree geelee nahar ke andar ghere banaatee rahee, baen aur daen, oopar aur neeche, kabhee-kabhee mote taur par ghoomatee rahee. mujhe bechainee, halka dard aur bahut geelaapan mahasoos hua, lekin jyaadaatar chinta is baat kee thee ki kya hoga.
phir usane apanee ungalee nikaalee aur mere saamane rakh dee. vah tel aur mere geelepan se sana hua tha, lekin koee keeda nahin tha.
"ab kya ho?" meree chinta ka star badh gaya. "ise baahar nikaalo, kuchh karo!"
"kya hai vah? ek cheentee?" jeetukaaka ne poochha. "yah andar kaise aaya?"
“yah bas rengata hua andar aa gaya. aur kaise? ye sab tumhaaree galatee hai. aapane mujhase paintee na pahanane ke lie kaha tha. dekho kya hua hai, main chillaaya.
vah kuchh sekand tak chup raha aur phir uttar diya, “keeda tumhaaree yonee kee gandh aur ras se aakarshit hua hoga. isamen meree galatee kaise hai? ise baahar nikaalane ka ek hee tareeka hai. aapako sahane kee jaroorat hai.
"kya?" mujhe usake sujhaav par yakeen nahin ho raha tha.
"yah kaise kaam karega?"
“theek hai, yah apane aap saamane nahin aaega. isalie, hamen ise khatm karana hoga,” unhonne samajhaaya. "aapaka ras ise khatm kar sakata hai."
mainne ek kshan socha, phir adheerata se uttar diya, “to phir karo. jaldee se. bhagavaan jaane ye baat kitanee andar tak chalee gayee hai. main nahin chaahata ki yah ab vahaan rahe.”
jeetookaaka ne meree yoni mein ungalee karana shuroo kar diya. tez. phir jor-jor se. vah pratikshan apanee gati badhaata raha. kuchh hee sekand mein main jor-jor se karaahane lagee. meree choot behad geelee aur dheelee ho gayee thee. kuchh hee minaton mein main charamotkarsh par pahunch gaya.
meree yonee se saphed taral padaarth nikala aur meree jaanghon aur taangon se hote hue bistar par aur antatah pharsh par bah gaya. main thakakar bistar par gir pada aur aadha behosh ho gaya. jeetookaaka cheentee ko khojane ke lie ghutanon ke bal baith gaya, is ummeed mein ki cheentee meree choot ke ras mein mil jaegee. lekin vah niraash dikhe.
"yah yahaan nahin hai," unhonne kaha, "abhee bhee andar hona chaahie."
"are!" mainne shaap diya. itanee mehanat aur phir bhee koee nateeja nahin. mujhe niraasha mahasoos huee.
jeetukaaka ne ghoshana kee, "ek aakhiree vikalp hai, agar vah kaam nahin karata hai, to kuchh aur nahin hoga."
“kaun sa vikalp? mujhe batao."
“pahale ise maarane ke lie hamen koee badee aur majaboot cheez daalanee hogee. jab tak yah jeevit rahega, yah baahar nahin aaega, unhonne kaha. "aur ise maarane ke baad, hamen ise baahar nikaal dena chaahie, is baar adhik ras ke saath."
“matalab…..” mainne usake man ko padhane kee koshish kee.
“mujhe ise apane dong se maarana hoga. phir apane andar mere veery ko bhar do. yahee aakhiree vikalp bacha hai.”
mainne apanee aankhen band kar leen - niraasha, hataasha ya sharm se - main nahin bata sakata. kya mujhe us keede ko baahar nikaalane ke lie jeetookaaka se dobaara chudaee karaanee hogee? mujhe sthiti kee niraasha ka ehasaas hua aur mainne sahamati mein apana sir hilaaya. mainne praarthana kee ki is baar yah kaam kare.
jeetookaaka ne mujhe bistar ke kinaare par donon taraph pair phailaakar lita rakha. vah mere pairon ke beech pharsh par khada ho gaya aur meree phisalan bharee chhed ke udghaatan par apanee kathor kaalee chhadee ko chhua
"isase dukh ho sakata hai, daro mat." yah kah kar usane jor se aage kee or jor lagaaya. main dard se chilla uthee kyonki usaka vishaal land bina kisee chetaavanee ke meree komal choot mein ghus gaya. vah 5 sekand tak ruka, phir dobaara ghus gaya. main dard se paagal ho gaya.
kal, chhat par, vah dheema aur saumy tha. lekin ab, vah ek raakshas kee tarah jangalee aur kroor tha. jab main is hinsak prahaar ko jhelane kee koshish kar raha tha to meree aankhon se aansoo bah nikale. "dheere jaiye. yah dukhadaayak hai!" main chillaaya. lekin vah chalata raha.
"mujhe ise maarana hoga, dheemee gati se nahin chal sakata," usane uttar diya. "main aadhe raaste mein hoon."
bas aadha raasta? aur mujhe pahale se hee mara hua mahasoos hua. ek baar jab vah pooree tarah aa jaega to kya hoga?
usake dhakke tez, ugr aur kathor ho gaye. mera dard tez, gambheer aur asahaneey ho gaya. mera poora shareer kaamp raha tha, mere stan hil rahe the, meree cheekhen tez ho gaeen aur meree peshaab mein jalan hone lagee. yah itane lambe samay tak chalata raha ki mujhe samay ka dhyaan hee nahin raha.
“thaap! thaap!” usake bade-bade bhaaree gole mere nitambon par thapede maar rahe the aur aisee ashleel aavaaj nikaal rahe the. vah itanee taakat se andar-baahar kar raha tha ki main har sekand usakee kathor kaalee chhadee ko meree garbhaashay greeva par takaraate hue mahasoos kar sakatee thee. usake land mein shaitaanee taakat thee. yah maanaveey nahin laga.
30 minat tak kroor, bhaaree prahaaron se meree choot ko thokane-peetane aur nasht karane ke baad, jeetukaaka ne apana veery tyaag diya aur mere andar paanee bhar diya. main nishchal, bedam aur ardh-chetan avastha mein leta hua tha. usake gaadhe chipachipe taral padaarth ka gailan meree yonee se nikalakar meree taangon se hote hue pharsh par bahane laga.
"yah paaya!" jab usane meree jaangh se apanee ungaliyon se kuchh uthaaya to vah uttejana mein chillaaya.
main dekhane ke lie mushkil se apanee aankhen khol saka. yah ek chhote kaale dhabbe jaisa lag raha tha - shaayad ek cheentee - malaeedaar saphed veery mein dhaka hua. vah bechaaree hil nahin rahee thee, shaayad mar gaee thee, ya to pitaee se ya doobane se.
main jashn manaane kee haalat mein nahin tha. mujhe is baat se raahat milee ki prayog saphal raha, main baithane aur aasaanee se saans lene kee sthiti mein nahin tha. mujhe itanee berahamee se kabhee nahin choda gaya. aaj tak nahin.
din 4
main agalee subah jeetukaaka ke bistar par utha. dobaara. mujhe yaad nahin aa raha ki main yahaan kaise pahunch gaya. pichhala din bahut dhundhala sa lag raha tha. subah mujhe berahamee se peetane ke baad poore din kya hua, mujhe bamushkil yaad aa raha hai. kya main so gaya? kya mainne snaan kiya? khaana? mujhe koee yaadadaasht nahin thee.
main har taraph dekha. bedasheet kal jaisee hee thee. yah veery ke dhabbon se bhara hua tha - bade, gol dhabbe - unamen se bahut saare the. mujhe pharsh par veery ke dhabbe bhee mile. jeetukaaka ne kal se na to pharsh saaph kiya tha aur na hee bistar kee chaadar badalee thee.
mainne ek taaza naitagaun pahana hua tha jo main ghar se laaya tha. kya mainne ise svayan pahana tha? main javaab paane ka nishchay karake neeche gaya. khaane ke saath-saath mujhe bhookh bhee lagane lagee.
jeetookaaka rasoee mein khaana bana rahe the. mujhe dekh kar vah palata aur bola, naashta taiyaar hai. bred, jaim, makkhan, chaay.”
mujhe itanee bhookh lagee thee ki mainne usake haath se naashte kee plet le lee aur kichan mein khade hokar khaane laga.
"jeetukaaka, main aaj subah aapake bistar par kaise pahunchee?" mainne usase poochha.
“tumhaaree tabeeyat theek nahin thee, chhotee raanee,” usane uttar diya, “isalie mainne tumhen nahalaaya, tumhaare kapade badale aur tumhen apane kamare mein le gaya.”
jaisa ki mainne socha tha, lekin mujhe kal kee koee yaad nahin thee.
chaay ke saath naashta karate hue mainne usase kaha, "aapane apane kamare mein pharsh saaph nahin kiya hai ya bistar kee chaadar nahin badalee hai."
“koee samay nahin tha. mujhe tumhaare chhedon ko dhona aur saaph karana pada, usane besharmee se uttar diya. phir usane meree naitee uthaee, mere nange nitambon ko ghoora aur kaha, “tum to din bhar leek kar rahe the. mujhe tumhen 5 baar nahalaana pada. ab aap saaf dikh rahe hain.”
main usakee baaton aur meree nangee gaand par usakee vaasana bharee najar se sharminda thee. phir mainne usakee lungee ke neeche kroch kshetr mein parichit vishaal ubhaar dekha.
"aapako ek din mein kitanee baar kathinaee hotee hai?" mainne utsukata se poochha.
“aamataur par 5-6 baar. lekin jis din se aap aaye hain, yah 10-12 guna badh gaya hai, unhonne uttar diya.
din mein 10-12 baar! ek madhyam aayu varg ke vyakti ke lie yah asaamaany lag raha tha. asaamaany bhee.
"aur aap us sthiti mein kya karate hain?" mainne poochh liya.
"main ek chhed dhoondh raha hoon." itana kah kar usane apanee ungalee kisaan jaim ke jaar mein duba dee aur meree choot par jaim malane laga.
main uchhal pada. “nahin, jeetukaaka. vahaan nahin! yah abhee bhee dard hota hai. yah jakhmee aur sooja hua hai.”
“lekin mujhe ab ek chhed kee zaroorat hai. main kathor hoon, vah ade hue the. “theek hai, phir mujhe isaka svaad chakhane do.”
vah rasoee ke pharsh par baith gaya aur main khadee rahee. usane meree choot par jaim kee boonden mal deen aur chaatane laga. pahale to yah ajeeb laga - jaim chipachipa lag raha tha jabaki usakee jeebh phisalan bharee thee - lekin mujhe isakee aadat ho gaee. meree saansen tez ho gaeen, meree taangen kaanpane lageen aur meree choot se paanee nikalane laga.
"yah meetha aur namakeen hai!" usane khushee se kaha, jisase mujhe 10 minat mein charamotkarsh praapt hua. main bhaagyashaalee tha ki usake shuroo hone se pahale hee mainne apana naashta khatm kar liya. isase mujhe khade rahane kee kuchh taakat milee.
phir vah utha, mujhe rasoee kee mej par jhukaaya, apanee ungalee amool makkhan mein duboee aur meree gaand ke chhed par laga dee. mujhe pata tha ki kya aa raha tha. use apane land ke lie ek chhed kee zaroorat thee aur vah ise paane ke lie krtasankalp tha.
usane meree gaand ke chhed par makkhan lagaaya aur phir apanee ungalee se andar tak lagaaya. phir usane apanee ungalee baahar nikaalee aur apane land ke sire ko meree makkhan lagee gaand ke chhed par chhua. mainne apanee aankhen band kar leen aur khud ko usake aakraman ke lie maanasik roop se taiyaar kar liya. usane pooree taakat se aakraman kiya.
usaka mota sakht land meree chhotee gaand ke chhed ko adhikatam seema tak phaila deta hai. main dard se chillaatee rahee jabaki vah khushee se gurraata raha. usaka land meree gaand ke hisaab se itana bada tha ki aadha andar jaane ke baad hee phans gaya, phir bhee vo saand kee tarah use thokata raha.
apana maal andar giraane se pahale usane lagabhag 20 minat tak meree kunvaaree gaand ko thoka aur pamp kiya. jaise hee vah peechhe hata, meree gaand ke chhed se gaadhe malaeedaar veery kee boonden neeche pharsh par tapakane lageen. isamen vahee parichit gandh thee - bleech jaisee tez durgandh - pichhale dinon kee.
main poore din chal nahin saka. jab bhee mujhe peshaab karana hota tha to jeetukaaka mujhe shauchaalay mein le jaate the. usane mujhe nahalaaya, khaana khilaaya, khud suar kee tarah khaaya aur phir raakshas kee tarah mujhe peeta. lanch ke baad usane mujhe choda. dinar ke baad usane mujhe choda. usane mujhe itanee baar choda ki meree ginatee hee khatm ho gayee.
mujhe bas itana yaad hai ki main poore din na to chal sakata tha aur na hee baith sakata tha.
din 5
main phir se jeetukaaka ke bistar par jaaga. kal aadhee raat ke baad vah phir mujhe apane kamare mein le gaya. doosare din ke baad se mainne apane kamare mein ek bhee raat nahin bitaee. yahaan meree pahalee raat ekamaatr aisee raat thee jab main apane bistar par soya tha.
main neeche apane kamare mein gaya, apane kapade utaare, apane bistar par baith gaya aur sheeshe mein dekha. main apane aap ko nahin pahachaan saka. mere baal bikhare hue the. mere nipals, koolhon aur jaanghon par kaatane ke nishaan the. mere nitamb bhee chaude ho gaye the. mainne apane pair phailae aur sheeshe mein dekha.
meree gaand ka chhed, jo pichhale haphte tak ek chhote kaale bindu jaisa dikhata tha, ab ek chaude udghaatan ke saath ek gaharee surang jaisa dikhata hai. andar saphed veery ke chhote-chhote jamaav the. meree choot ke honth phool gaye the aur sooj kar laal ho gaye the. main apanee choot kee nahar ke andar veery ke saphed chipachipe dhabbe bhee dekh sakatee thee.
aur chhed chauda ho gaya tha. mujhe har samay veery kee gandh aatee rahatee thee. jeetukaaka ke veery kee bleech jaisee tez badaboo ab mere poore shareer par thee. jab bhee vah mujhe apane land se chodata tha to meree karaahen ghar ke har kamare mein goonj uthatee theen. yah ek veshyaalay kee tarah lag raha tha, aur main ek phoohad kee tarah lag rahee thee.
jeetukaaka kee lagaataar pitaee kee na to koee shuruaat thee aur na hee koee ant. din-raat, subah se shaam tak aur aadhee raat ke baad bhee, vah apane gande land se mere chhedon mein chhed karata tha. vah suar kee tarah khaega aur raakshas kee tarah chodega. "mujhe apana pet bhara aur andakosh khaalee rakhana hai," usaka bahaana tha.
aaj yahaan mere pravaas ka 5vaan aur aakhiree din hai. mere maata-pita mujhe lene aur ghar lautane ke lie kal aaenge. unhen kabhee pata nahin chalega ki aazaadee ke in 5 dinon ke lie mujhe kitanee keemat chukaanee padee. aur main phir kabhee apane puraane svaroop mein nahin laut paoonga. in 5 dinon ne mujhe hamesha ke lie badal diya hai.
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